(The Secret World) MSL-North: Tha Boyz - Episode 5: Cressies in July Part 2

[00:00:00] The Secret World MSL-North

[00:00:01] Our wisdom flows so short. Test and see.

[00:00:06] Transmit

[00:00:08] Time to learn the truth, boys and girls. In the 30s, Prime Minister King kickstarted a hedge fund for investigating and hunting various paranormal phenomena.

[00:00:18] Now, fast forward along the line of mysteries, blood, and maple syrup money throughout the 20th century,

[00:00:25] and you find numerous groups across the country, unified under a loose collective,

[00:00:31] hunting strange creatures and tackling paranormal threats for profit.

[00:00:36] Don't believe the lies by the so-called news networks.

[00:00:40] The Secret World is real. Here there be monsters.

[00:00:43] And the Monster Slayers League, north of the American border, is out there.

[00:00:49] Even out in Newfoundland, there's word of a new team known only as the Byz.

[00:00:53] And don't even get me started on the-

[00:00:57] Hi, and welcome to One Less Die, a The Secret World 5th Edition actual play podcast.

[00:01:05] Or 5e actual play podcast.

[00:01:08] We're continuing our The Secret World campaign, the Monster League North game, with Da Bois.

[00:01:18] Da Bois.

[00:01:21] So, yeah.

[00:01:22] Last we left off, what do you guys remember from last game?

[00:01:26] I shot a machine gun. A lot.

[00:01:28] And it worked!

[00:01:29] It worked a lot of dice.

[00:01:30] It worked so well compared to all the other things that you guys have tried on the two big monster threats.

[00:01:35] Pretty much.

[00:01:36] Why are we wizards when we have a browning?

[00:01:39] Why are we wizards when we have a browning?

[00:01:41] Yeah.

[00:01:41] I want that on a t-shirt.

[00:01:46] I want it on a t-shirt with a wizard with a browning.

[00:01:49] Yeah.

[00:01:50] Just a muscle wizard.

[00:01:52] Just Arnold with a wizard hat.

[00:01:54] Mm-hmm.

[00:01:57] I was firing an M2 from the hip.

[00:01:59] Yeah.

[00:01:59] Fuck yeah.

[00:02:00] Is that an Arnold thing or is that a Sylvester Stallone thing?

[00:02:03] What?

[00:02:04] Like Rambo.

[00:02:04] Like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

[00:02:07] Rambo did it with the M60 E4.

[00:02:10] Oh, that's what it was.

[00:02:11] And then Arnie did it with a mini gun in Terminator.

[00:02:14] Nobody has done it with a browning.

[00:02:17] Alright, well.

[00:02:17] I don't know that anybody could do it with a browning.

[00:02:23] The Rock?

[00:02:25] I'm sure there's a movie somewhere where someone's hit fire to browning.

[00:02:28] I'm sure.

[00:02:29] As Google will tell us very soon because apparently it's super important.

[00:02:34] Yes, it is.

[00:02:35] Well, what do you, aside from the browning event, what is everybody else remember?

[00:02:39] There's some giant eels, multiple of them.

[00:02:43] We killed one.

[00:02:43] How many are there?

[00:02:44] Three of ours.

[00:02:44] There are six inbound for like upstream.

[00:02:49] Yes, so we, and we know that they're going there?

[00:02:52] Yes.

[00:02:53] So we need to chase them down and kill them before they kill other people.

[00:02:58] That is why I requisitioned an attack chopper with RPGs.

[00:03:02] Yeah, that didn't happen.

[00:03:05] Although it would have been really handy.

[00:03:07] It would have been really handy.

[00:03:08] Also, just as we left off, you guys could hear police sirens because somebody set off and used a browning.

[00:03:16] Or duck hunting.

[00:03:19] With extreme prejudice.

[00:03:21] Yeah.

[00:03:23] And also note, there is only one road back to the highway from where you guys are currently.

[00:03:32] Okay, so you drive the car.

[00:03:35] You man has a dog.

[00:03:37] We'll reverse out of here with the browning out the back door.

[00:03:42] And then mow down any cops.

[00:03:44] Yeah, mow down the police.

[00:03:45] This has become GTA now.

[00:03:46] Apparently.

[00:03:49] I don't know if your secret society is going to like that very much.

[00:03:53] We had to maintain operational security.

[00:03:55] No!

[00:03:55] This is so you burn down the entirety of Robert's arm and the RV park that was near you guys and the police station.

[00:04:07] No one can notice what we did if there's no one around to notice.

[00:04:10] Nuke it from orbit, only way to be sure.

[00:04:12] Yeah, that's basically that.

[00:04:15] Do you guys really want to sell the duck hunting thing? I think I can work that angle.

[00:04:22] We do all have track guns.

[00:04:24] We do.

[00:04:25] You guys also have the bodies of several cultists, a lizard man, and a giant bus sized sea serpent.

[00:04:33] What was the name of the cult again?

[00:04:36] The Serpents of Eden.

[00:04:37] Serpents of Eden.

[00:04:39] Okay.

[00:04:39] The Children of Adam.

[00:04:40] That's a different series entirely.

[00:04:43] Yep.

[00:04:44] Also, the Serpents of Eden apparently did all this to get back at you guys.

[00:04:50] Us specifically?

[00:04:51] Yeah, that's what the lizard guy kind of insinuated right before his head died.

[00:04:56] Everywhere we go, we make friends.

[00:04:59] I don't know why they're so mad at us to be honest.

[00:05:02] I mean...

[00:05:03] Because we guys did technically deal with the Serpents of Eden in your first game?

[00:05:06] I mean, we were like on their tail.

[00:05:09] We got like surprised cockfag by the cabbage monster and then they blew up their own base and left.

[00:05:19] Yeah.

[00:05:19] I don't think we had a whole lot to do with that.

[00:05:21] And they hate us.

[00:05:21] Because you interrupted with their operations.

[00:05:23] I suppose.

[00:05:27] You guys were so sensitive.

[00:05:32] So, yeah.

[00:05:34] So what do you guys want to do?

[00:05:35] Also, who are you guys?

[00:05:37] As the game sets in.

[00:05:40] Starting with my left.

[00:05:43] Which is actually a cross for me.

[00:05:45] Oh.

[00:05:46] Yep.

[00:05:47] I'm Jacob Blackstone.

[00:05:49] I am a wizard.

[00:05:51] Well, Nagus.

[00:05:52] It's a wizard.

[00:05:56] With definitely a flare towards the druid.

[00:06:00] I can also apparently talk anyone into anything.

[00:06:05] I am a master gaslater.

[00:06:08] Yeah.

[00:06:09] Like, that's actually a feat.

[00:06:11] Yeah.

[00:06:12] To the listeners at home.

[00:06:13] I can gaslight people into believing anything.

[00:06:16] It's great for cover-ups.

[00:06:17] A master narcissist, really.

[00:06:19] Can you convince the listeners that this podcast is good?

[00:06:23] No one can do that.

[00:06:25] There has to be a spark of truth in some of the current.

[00:06:34] Okay.

[00:06:35] And next to him is Dave.

[00:06:36] I'm Dave.

[00:06:37] I'm playing John Deere.

[00:06:38] No relation.

[00:06:38] His name is spelled differently.

[00:06:39] It's fine.

[00:06:40] I'm an ex-con and current mercenary.

[00:06:46] We're kind of like generic sort of clothes.

[00:06:49] A flannel shirt that I'm not wearing today.

[00:06:51] Actually, my flannel shirt's over there though.

[00:06:56] Assault rifle, pistol.

[00:06:58] And yeah.

[00:06:59] As we said before last episode, I was shooting a machine gun for most of it.

[00:07:02] Mm-hmm.

[00:07:04] All right.

[00:07:04] And then next to him is Merit.

[00:07:06] I'm playing Marcel Laundrie, ex-Marine MP, up from the deep south.

[00:07:13] I'm a devastator.

[00:07:14] I like to hit stuff with my hammer, while telling it to stop resisting.

[00:07:18] Wow.

[00:07:19] All right.

[00:07:20] So, yeah.

[00:07:22] Those police sirens are getting louder and closer.

[00:07:25] So, what is the plan?

[00:07:29] Do we have any caution tape in the van?

[00:07:33] I would imagine you guys might.

[00:07:39] Okay.

[00:07:39] I know I have a gas mask.

[00:07:43] So, I'm going to lose the weapons.

[00:07:45] Okay.

[00:07:45] I'm going to put on the gas mask.

[00:07:47] We're going to string some caution tape around.

[00:07:48] And we're going to say it's a gas leak?

[00:07:51] Biohazard.

[00:07:54] A gas leak in the woods.

[00:07:56] Hey, there could be like fishers.

[00:07:58] Like natural gas fishers.

[00:07:59] So, we did a gas leak in the first episode, didn't we?

[00:08:02] It was a gas leak.

[00:08:03] Yeah.

[00:08:04] You know what?

[00:08:04] It's a valid modern concern.

[00:08:07] Mm-hmm.

[00:08:09] All that fracking that's happening.

[00:08:13] Outbreak of hemorrhagic fever.

[00:08:18] That's horrifying.

[00:08:20] Yeah, that's really going to deter the cops from investigating any further.

[00:08:23] I don't have a gas mask.

[00:08:26] So, you're the face guy.

[00:08:27] You go all the way out.

[00:08:30] So, what am I telling them then?

[00:08:34] Um...

[00:08:34] We're with Health Canada?

[00:08:39] Do I say it like that with the question mark in the pants?

[00:08:43] We're with Health Canada?

[00:08:45] Probably not.

[00:08:47] I'm Ron Burby.

[00:08:48] We...

[00:08:52] We got a call about some strange symptoms.

[00:08:55] So, we investigated and apparently this cabin was occupied by someone with a highly contagious hemorrhagic fever.

[00:09:04] We quarantined the area.

[00:09:05] Yeah?

[00:09:06] With extreme...

[00:09:08] With extreme...

[00:09:09] Yeah, that's going to be interesting.

[00:09:11] What about the gunshots?

[00:09:12] That's all good and well, but like the RV park down the road heard some like repeated like assault weapons being fired.

[00:09:21] The Occupate Resistant.

[00:09:25] I don't think you're cleared for that.

[00:09:28] Well, it's that or a major outbreak in the nearby town.

[00:09:31] That was us shooting down ducks.

[00:09:33] We were concerned that they were going to carry the virus.

[00:09:35] You're blending the two guns.

[00:09:37] Yeah!

[00:09:37] We were culling wildlife.

[00:09:39] Yep, alright.

[00:09:41] Culling wildlife to keep it from spreading.

[00:09:44] Yep.

[00:09:45] Okay.

[00:09:45] We're the Health Canada Special Response Team.

[00:09:49] Joint partnered with the Ministry of Natural Resources.

[00:09:54] There's a gas leak, it's reflected off the light of the pages.

[00:09:58] Fortunately, you have the exact skill I need to make this bullshit story work.

[00:10:02] Alright, alright, we're doing it.

[00:10:04] Jesus Christ.

[00:10:05] Okay, so you're running out to like basically intercept, like get a waste from the camp.

[00:10:10] Yes.

[00:10:10] From the cabin and such, like to get down the road.

[00:10:13] You see like...

[00:10:14] What are you wearing?

[00:10:17] I don't remember actually.

[00:10:23] Oh, a raincoat!

[00:10:26] Yeah.

[00:10:26] Which is perfect.

[00:10:27] That's not bad actually.

[00:10:29] I mean, we're on the East Coast.

[00:10:31] It kind of makes a lot of sense.

[00:10:33] Yeah.

[00:10:34] Alright, so yeah, you see like the red and blue lights of like the local provincial cops coming

[00:10:41] down the road.

[00:10:42] Um, and uh, they slow, I assume you're waving them down basically.

[00:10:46] Yeah.

[00:10:46] Yeah.

[00:10:47] They slow down and like, immediately like, they come to a stop and the guy gets out and

[00:10:51] it's like, uh, uh, so freeze!

[00:10:54] Like, what's your business?

[00:10:55] Like, we've got reports of uh, of uh, of repeated gunfire out here.

[00:11:00] I'm gonna hold up my badge, cause we have a badge.

[00:11:03] That's true.

[00:11:04] But I'm gonna stand way the hell back.

[00:11:06] Okay.

[00:11:06] Don't come any closer.

[00:11:08] I'm uh, I'm with a joint task force between the Ministry of Natural Resources and Health

[00:11:13] Canada.

[00:11:13] There's been an outbreak of uh, or there's a um...

[00:11:21] I'm gonna let you continue.

[00:11:22] Suspect in a cabin, uh, had a, a, a, like...

[00:11:27] Hemorrhagic fever.

[00:11:28] Hemorrhagic fever.

[00:11:29] Hemorrhagic fever.

[00:11:30] Um, very, very contagious.

[00:11:33] Very, very dangerous.

[00:11:35] Very dangerous.

[00:11:37] Very dangerous.

[00:11:37] Largely, very dangerous.

[00:11:39] We're all, we're all fine here now.

[00:11:41] How are you?

[00:11:45] The, uh, gunfire herd was, uh, my and my compatriots who are,

[00:11:50] currently trying to contain the leak.

[00:11:52] Um, shooting down birds that were flying out of the area.

[00:11:57] We didn't want that, the outbreak to spread.

[00:12:00] Alright.

[00:12:01] Uh, roll your, my master bullshittery.

[00:12:04] Your bullshittery, sir.

[00:12:07] Hopefully your character is more convincing than you are.

[00:12:10] Also, didn't you have an oh fuck bud accent in this game, or was that the other game?

[00:12:14] Oh fuck bud, yeah!

[00:12:16] Alright.

[00:12:17] Forgot about that there, bud.

[00:12:20] I don't think you'd have that accent to be a fed.

[00:12:24] You don't hire me, please.

[00:12:25] Obviously you haven't watched the Republic of Doyle.

[00:12:28] Okay.

[00:12:28] Or he's putting on a quote unquote normal accent.

[00:12:31] Yeah.

[00:12:31] For this role.

[00:12:34] Okay, so what is their, uh, wisdom modifier?

[00:12:38] Their wisdom modifier is gonna be...

[00:12:42] Four.

[00:12:43] Jesus Christ!

[00:12:44] Four!

[00:12:45] You gave them an 18 in their wisdom?

[00:12:48] Alright.

[00:12:49] Fine, whatever.

[00:12:50] Okay, so that gives them a total of 12 for the DC I have to beat.

[00:12:56] Which, I rolled a 12, so I haven't even added anything in yet.

[00:13:01] Okay.

[00:13:04] Alright, fine.

[00:13:06] They've eaten my bullshit with a spoon!

[00:13:09] Uh oh!

[00:13:12] Um...

[00:13:12] Do you need us to...

[00:13:15] Cord, like help make sure no hikers go there?

[00:13:18] This is a...

[00:13:19] Like a...

[00:13:19] This is a hiking area.

[00:13:20] I'm in the background putting out the caution tape.

[00:13:23] Yeah.

[00:13:23] I'm in the back putting body bags.

[00:13:27] Maybe a bit of both.

[00:13:29] Yeah, we might actually need this area cord knocked.

[00:13:32] Do you know if there's any back roads that come in the other way?

[00:13:34] Uh...

[00:13:34] Or uh, hiking trails?

[00:13:36] Uh, there's some...

[00:13:37] There's some hiking trails, but this is a peninsula.

[00:13:39] This is a...

[00:13:39] This is a point.

[00:13:40] Like there's no...

[00:13:41] We don't have to worry too much about boat traffic coming in from here?

[00:13:45] Uh, not from here, no.

[00:13:46] Um, that's where the uh...

[00:13:48] Closest thing is back where we just came from near the RV park.

[00:13:51] Great!

[00:13:51] You wanna go all the way back down to the RV park, set up your cord in there.

[00:13:55] Make sure none of them come further down this way.

[00:13:58] Uh...

[00:13:59] You heard him, let's go!

[00:14:00] If you hear more gunshots, that's us!

[00:14:06] Grab the shell off the floor!

[00:14:08] You just...

[00:14:10] Okay, alright.

[00:14:11] And then I will uh...

[00:14:13] Proceed on back towards these guys.

[00:14:14] Yeah, as you just like, stiffly walk back and say,

[00:14:16] I can't believe that fucking works!

[00:14:19] I am the greatest bullshitter the world has ever known!

[00:14:23] I told ya, ain't nobody wanna catch no hemorrhagic fever!

[00:14:28] Also, the...

[00:14:29] Well fuck, bud!

[00:14:30] I wouldn't wanna catch the hemorrhagic fever either!

[00:14:34] Okay, so that...

[00:14:37] For now, that has been placated.

[00:14:39] Mm-hmm.

[00:14:39] Um, but yeah, your...

[00:14:40] Your main problem here now is that like, again, there are six demonically infused sea serpents

[00:14:48] swimming upstream.

[00:14:50] Okay.

[00:14:50] From this, uh, inlet lake.

[00:14:53] So...

[00:14:53] So unless there's a boat that we can chase them down with, we're getting in the van and we're chasing them down.

[00:15:00] The mastery machine is chasing them by land.

[00:15:02] Mm-hmm.

[00:15:02] Yeah.

[00:15:03] Um, you did also hear, uh, the...

[00:15:05] Apparently the cabin did have, oh, like next to the computer and stuff like that, had a, uh, police...

[00:15:09] Like a broadband police, uh, scanner.

[00:15:12] Okay?

[00:15:12] And it had picked up a couple of reports about, uh, some kind of an animal attack further down, uh, downstream.

[00:15:18] Like at a place called, um...

[00:15:20] I pulled up my notes.

[00:15:23] Um...

[00:15:23] Twin Lakes Road Junction.

[00:15:26] Uh, there's some stuff down there.

[00:15:28] So...

[00:15:29] I don't know if you guys have a radio scanner, but like that, you guys kind of surmise that,

[00:15:33] oh, maybe you could use the radio, you could use like a radio scanner to pick up like, reports of these things, uh, where they're hitting.

[00:15:39] Okay?

[00:15:40] Do we have somebody who is, uh, good with, um, electronics or radios?

[00:15:45] That kind of shenanigans?

[00:15:47] I don't remember what the roll was for that.

[00:15:50] What do we need to roll for?

[00:15:51] I don't know.

[00:15:52] For electronics and stuff like that?

[00:15:53] We're just listening to the scanner, are we not?

[00:15:55] Yeah, it'd be an investigation if anything.

[00:15:58] Just to like...

[00:15:59] Yeah.

[00:15:59] Cross-reference incoming reports with the actual geographical location.

[00:16:03] Like Google Maps and so on.

[00:16:04] Yeah.

[00:16:05] Yeah, I can do that.

[00:16:06] Okay.

[00:16:07] I'll navigate.

[00:16:10] Yep.

[00:16:11] And then, uh, somebody will be at the gun.

[00:16:14] Right.

[00:16:15] Be near the gun ready to like use it when you guys have to.

[00:16:17] And the other one will be driving.

[00:16:19] Great, so I guess I'm driving.

[00:16:21] Yep.

[00:16:21] Okay.

[00:16:21] So what are we doing with the bodies that are there?

[00:16:23] Leave them.

[00:16:24] Leave them up.

[00:16:25] We're recording already, we'll come back with them later.

[00:16:27] We got all the lives.

[00:16:28] I guess, yeah.

[00:16:29] Yeah.

[00:16:29] Or we have a cleanup team coming later.

[00:16:31] Actually...

[00:16:31] They could contact Jack.

[00:16:33] I think I could see if there is.

[00:16:34] I think I could see if there is...

[00:16:36] Immolate.

[00:16:38] Nope.

[00:16:42] Also, I was actually thinking of like why the secret societies would leave these

[00:16:46] Cressi things like even when they first discovered them, like why they leave a population of them

[00:16:50] in check.

[00:16:51] I'm thinking that like they actually are used, like some of their parts are used for like

[00:16:55] certain like occult rituals that are occult things.

[00:16:59] So they're actually kept around for specific like materials.

[00:17:04] Why do they leave them in the wild?

[00:17:06] Hmm?

[00:17:07] Because they can't breed captivity.

[00:17:08] Yeah.

[00:17:09] They can't breed them in captivity.

[00:17:10] Okay.

[00:17:10] I'm going to cast Speak with Animals.

[00:17:13] Okay.

[00:17:14] And then I'm going to call out to all the fucking rodents and bears and wolves and everything

[00:17:21] that are nearby.

[00:17:22] See who I can get to come in.

[00:17:24] Okay.

[00:17:25] Do you need me to make some kind of a charisma check?

[00:17:28] Yeah.

[00:17:28] Make a charisma check because...

[00:17:29] Can you like press a digitization like a triangle and just like...

[00:17:33] I like that in a middle?

[00:17:34] I can!

[00:17:35] I can do that!

[00:17:37] Animo Cabel.

[00:17:38] Yeah.

[00:17:39] Or a triangle, yeah.

[00:17:41] I think it needs to be canon that the reason they're keeping the Cressis around is

[00:17:44] because Cressi Horn gives you just like blue steel erections.

[00:17:48] No.

[00:17:48] It's literally just Chinese medicine.

[00:17:50] No.

[00:17:53] So specific.

[00:17:54] It's a total of 20 on a persuasion.

[00:17:58] Okay.

[00:17:59] Yeah.

[00:18:00] You manage to get most of the vermin in the area like rats and even some coyotes show

[00:18:07] up.

[00:18:08] I think there are coyotes in Newfoundland.

[00:18:11] And you don't find any bears.

[00:18:13] You don't get any bears around that but like a lot of like the smaller critters and

[00:18:16] stuff.

[00:18:16] And at first they're a little like kind of...

[00:18:19] They're a little hesitant especially like toward the demonically infused things.

[00:18:23] But eventually like they get to eating.

[00:18:27] Woodland friends!

[00:18:28] I bring you dinner!

[00:18:29] And thus it was that Aaron started the Woodland Critter Christmas.

[00:18:32] Because they ate demonically infused meats and became demonically infused with critters.

[00:18:38] That's how that squirrel gained its intelligence enough to talk.

[00:18:44] In Grumblehammer and I think...

[00:18:45] No, no, that's...

[00:18:47] This isn't Grumblehammer universe.

[00:18:48] We're gonna come back to a scaven infestation.

[00:18:50] Oh my god, yes.

[00:18:53] But we just gots to have AIDS.

[00:18:55] We got to have AIDS to paint the ice on it.

[00:18:58] We don't get it down y'all.

[00:19:00] What the fuck?

[00:19:01] Why is it so dark?

[00:19:03] It's the Woodland Critters.

[00:19:04] The Woodland Critter Christmas.

[00:19:05] The Woodland Critters.

[00:19:05] That plays like a...

[00:19:05] The Christmas critters.

[00:19:06] Like a Christmas story that Cartman made where like the demonically possessed critters

[00:19:11] like Satan worshipping critters in the woods.

[00:19:15] We're sacrificing...

[00:19:16] Or like...

[00:19:17] I don't know why we're going into this.

[00:19:20] But basically there was a mountain lion that was always killing one of the critters every

[00:19:26] year because that critter was going to become the Antichrist.

[00:19:29] And then in this story, Cartman says that Kyle kills the mountain lion.

[00:19:37] So then that year she couldn't kill the Christmas critter.

[00:19:41] So then the Antichrist...

[00:19:44] So Kyle caused the Antichrist.

[00:19:46] Yes.

[00:19:46] Yeah.

[00:19:47] Because Cartman's a dick.

[00:19:48] The Jew caused the Antichrist.

[00:19:50] Yeah.

[00:19:51] Actually he became the Antichrist.

[00:19:52] Oh.

[00:19:53] Yeah.

[00:19:54] The Jew became the Antichrist.

[00:19:56] Yeah.

[00:19:56] Because Cartman's a dick.

[00:19:58] Yes.

[00:19:58] Okay.

[00:19:58] Alright.

[00:20:00] Alright.

[00:20:01] So you guys are hopping in the...

[00:20:04] Like you letting that happen.

[00:20:05] I was like alright.

[00:20:07] That's nature's problem now.

[00:20:09] It might be hours later but that's fine.

[00:20:11] Yeah.

[00:20:11] Let's return to Crescent Lake and like there's an infestation of Skaven.

[00:20:15] Like the monarchy infused woodland critters.

[00:20:19] Just man sized chipmunks.

[00:20:21] Yeah.

[00:20:21] Well actually before we go since this lasts for 10 minutes, I'm going to instruct the critters

[00:20:25] that when they are done feasting, they have to migrate away from here.

[00:20:29] There can be no woodland critters left in this area.

[00:20:34] Okay.

[00:20:35] So you just start...

[00:20:35] Why?

[00:20:37] Because we're supposed to be called...

[00:20:38] Because hemorrhagic fever.

[00:20:40] Yeah.

[00:20:40] That's a bullshit story.

[00:20:41] Yeah.

[00:20:41] We've got to make the bullshit story stand up.

[00:20:44] Okay.

[00:20:44] Yeah.

[00:20:45] Alright.

[00:20:45] So they'll scatter.

[00:20:46] Okay.

[00:20:47] And haunt some poor other...

[00:20:48] Or fight to the death.

[00:20:50] Yeah.

[00:20:52] Yeah, that'll help with the...

[00:20:54] Like it's like oh well all these animals like killed themselves.

[00:20:59] But yeah, anyway, so you're driving away as that's going on.

[00:21:05] And you drive past the police...

[00:21:08] The little police court and they have near the fork where the RV park is and such.

[00:21:14] And yeah, you're rolling your investigation to make sure to figure out where you guys need

[00:21:18] to go and such.

[00:21:19] Yep.

[00:21:20] Can I use guidance on myself?

[00:21:22] Uh, yes.

[00:21:25] Is that a thing?

[00:21:26] Yes.

[00:21:27] Guidance is something that helps you improve your skill checks.

[00:21:29] Okay.

[00:21:31] Oh, I understand now why all of our enemies have such great skill checks.

[00:21:37] They're Canadians.

[00:21:38] Yeah.

[00:21:38] They're all Canadians.

[00:21:40] They're great at everything.

[00:21:41] I mean, yeah.

[00:21:44] But they're all evil.

[00:21:45] That doesn't even mean you're Canadian.

[00:21:47] Have you seen the Geneva Convention?

[00:21:49] Yeah.

[00:21:50] That's not wrong.

[00:21:58] Yeah.

[00:21:59] We're just evil on a leash.

[00:22:06] 11, 14, 20.

[00:22:09] Okay.

[00:22:10] Yeah, you imagine finally the...

[00:22:13] You know exactly where it is.

[00:22:15] This Twin Lakes Road Junction is like on the...

[00:22:18] Actually, I should pull up the Google map of this place.

[00:22:22] Also, have we healed or anything?

[00:22:25] There's no time, no.

[00:22:27] We haven't had a short rest yet.

[00:22:28] Yeah.

[00:22:29] No.

[00:22:30] We will as we get in the car.

[00:22:32] Will we?

[00:22:33] A short rest is how long?

[00:22:34] Ten minutes.

[00:22:35] An hour.

[00:22:36] An hour?

[00:22:36] I was going to say, it's not ten minutes.

[00:22:38] Yeah.

[00:22:38] I don't think this place is going to be...

[00:22:43] Let's take a look how far this is.

[00:22:46] You're looking at a 30 minute drive.

[00:22:49] Basically.

[00:22:50] Not long enough.

[00:22:51] No.

[00:22:51] Mm-hmm.

[00:22:53] You're still on the mission, so...

[00:22:56] Okay.

[00:22:57] I would pose that a short rest...

[00:23:04] I have read it said that it's 30 minutes to an hour.

[00:23:07] Let me take a look.

[00:23:09] Now that said, the person who's driving should not get it.

[00:23:14] No.

[00:23:14] Yeah.

[00:23:15] So you could give a short rest to these two chuckle fucks.

[00:23:19] And I will not take a short rest.

[00:23:23] Yeah, I will say that.

[00:23:24] The two people that are not driving, that are just in the car trying to decompress, that

[00:23:31] would be kind of a short rest.

[00:23:33] You can light some incense, smoke a big bowl, you know.

[00:23:35] Yeah.

[00:23:36] Eat some mushrooms, chill out.

[00:23:38] Mm-hmm.

[00:23:39] I mean, here's Newfoundland, they love their mushrooms.

[00:23:44] The magic kind?

[00:23:46] Yeah.

[00:23:46] I mean, roll hit dice to heal.

[00:23:48] And screech.

[00:23:49] Yeah.

[00:23:50] Winning combinations.

[00:23:55] Shit mushrooms and a screech chaser.

[00:23:59] Oh god.

[00:24:02] Call that the newbie special.

[00:24:07] Okay, so you guys are traveling down. Do you have to do anything during your current

[00:24:12] rest? Do you have to roll anything about it?

[00:24:14] It depends on if they need to heal.

[00:24:16] Yeah, I'm just rolling for a hole.

[00:24:17] Okay, cool.

[00:24:22] I can't remember...I think this was like midday that this all happened or something?

[00:24:36] I say midday.

[00:24:38] Yeah, I think about midday because you guys like drove out here, it was about 3 or 4 hours

[00:24:41] to get out here.

[00:24:43] I can heal 5 on 2.

[00:24:51] Is there any con modifier on the heal roll with hit dice?

[00:24:55] Or is it just straight hit dice?

[00:24:57] I think it's just straight hit dice.

[00:25:21] 16.

[00:25:22] 16.

[00:25:23] So, we'll turn it all in more.

[00:25:27] We'll heal.

[00:25:28] No, we'll have two pit dice left.

[00:25:32] You should put the bad days on the cuts and all the stuff.

[00:25:42] I've also got the anima dice left.

[00:25:44] Oh yeah, that's true.

[00:25:46] Which is real handy.

[00:25:47] I only have 3 anima dice left.

[00:25:50] I haven't even used any of mine.

[00:25:51] I use mine a lot because that's what I need to use to turn into animals.

[00:25:56] Yes.

[00:25:58] And it is costly.

[00:26:00] Super effective though.

[00:26:01] I use mine to smite stuff.

[00:26:07] Okay, so yeah, you guys are driving, it's about 30 minutes later down the Trans-Canada Highway.

[00:26:14] And you, I need you there, actually what's your perception?

[00:26:21] Passive perception?

[00:26:22] Passive, yeah.

[00:26:23] 14.

[00:26:24] Okay, so as you're coming down the highway you spot, there's actually another police cordon.

[00:26:31] Next to a small junction of two crisscrossed roads along the Trans-Canada Highway.

[00:26:38] And there looks like it's like a gas station.

[00:26:41] There's some smoke off to, like behind the gas station, like billowing out.

[00:26:46] And there's a couple of other cars and some people out that look like just concerned citizens or like, like just people traveling.

[00:26:55] And the cops are out and like keeping people away from the whole area in general.

[00:27:00] Okay, I will pull up and roll down my window some.

[00:27:04] He's like, oh yeah, sorry, we can't go past right now.

[00:27:07] We're doing something here, some kind of an animal tax, sir.

[00:27:11] Ah, okay, well, it's just the one cop, right?

[00:27:15] Yeah.

[00:27:16] Okay.

[00:27:17] He seems pretty nervous, like, he's like sweating a little bit.

[00:27:21] Okay, well, my friends and I are from a joint coalition of the Ministry of Natural Resources and the Health Canada.

[00:27:30] No.

[00:27:31] Um, there's been a rupture of a, uh, of a really bad hemorrhagic fever in gas, in the, uh...

[00:27:40] In gas!

[00:27:42] In the woods back there.

[00:27:44] Really, really contagious stuff.

[00:27:47] Um, we think we might have it contained, but we're chasing the possibility that there may be some infected critters coming this way.

[00:27:56] Uh, well, um, from what I've been hearing from the, from the, these, these people, uh, there's, and, uh, there's something, some large animal attacked, uh, attacked some, uh, some, the, the, attacked the manager of this gas station, uh, behind their place and, uh, set up, started a fire.

[00:28:13] Um, I, one of our, or one of my partners just went out there to go look for, uh, go take a look at it and hasn't come back.

[00:28:19] Uh, the, their, their hemorrhagic fever, you said?

[00:28:23] I don't know if I remember that.

[00:28:23] Yes, sir.

[00:28:24] Serious business.

[00:28:25] I don't know, some of these, these, some of the people that were here, uh, when we arrived was, are spouting not some weirdness about like a, like a large snake or something.

[00:28:34] Some kind of like large black snake or, or bear thing.

[00:28:39] Hmm.

[00:28:40] Hallucinations are common side effects of the hemorrhagic fever, isn't it?

[00:28:43] It's one of the first signs.

[00:28:44] Before the disease has even really taken root, it can cause vivid hallucinations.

[00:28:50] Officer, I might recommend you get back in your...

[00:28:54] Here I am going to the southern.

[00:28:55] Yeah.

[00:28:56] It's contagious.

[00:28:57] It is.

[00:29:00] Oh, fuck butt!

[00:29:01] Look, look at everybody.

[00:29:04] What I'm gonna need you to do is get back in your, back in your cruiser, roll the windows up and cycle the, the air conditioning backs.

[00:29:10] You're gonna want to get as little outside air as possible.

[00:29:15] All right, oh, well, same with the, the, everybody else.

[00:29:19] I guess we'll be going to, to have a talk with them.

[00:29:22] We've got some, uh, uh, hazmat gear in the van with us.

[00:29:27] Okay.

[00:29:28] Um, if you hear some gunshots, that'll be us taking out the critters.

[00:29:34] Oh, okay.

[00:29:36] Uh, roll, roll, uh, roll.

[00:29:37] Roll that roll again?

[00:29:38] Yeah, roll.

[00:29:41] My master of bullshitting roll.

[00:29:43] Do we have any kind of a nasal spray in the first aid kit?

[00:29:47] Like, allergy meds?

[00:29:48] Yeah, I'd be bad.

[00:29:49] I'm sure.

[00:29:49] Okay.

[00:29:50] We're just gonna give that to everybody telling them it's a vaccine.

[00:29:54] Yeah.

[00:29:55] I like the cut of your gym.

[00:29:57] Okay.

[00:29:58] Okay.

[00:29:59] Just take the label off.

[00:30:01] You have the label off.

[00:30:02] You're okay.

[00:30:02] Thank you.

[00:30:03] Thank you for bumping the table.

[00:30:05] Thank you.

[00:30:06] Cause that put it on a 19.

[00:30:07] 19.

[00:30:08] Nice.

[00:30:08] Yeah.

[00:30:09] He's, he's all for it.

[00:30:10] All right.

[00:30:10] Oh yeah.

[00:30:10] We'll get another.

[00:30:11] So yeah, he'll, yeah, he's heading off.

[00:30:13] Um, so that leaves you with like maybe half a dozen people, like regular people, uh, from

[00:30:18] like two or three cars that were here.

[00:30:24] All right, buddies, guys, friends.

[00:30:28] That's a guy friend.

[00:30:31] Yeah.

[00:30:31] They'll look to you as soon as you start shouting.

[00:30:33] Yeah.

[00:30:34] All right.

[00:30:34] I'm gonna hold my thumb up.

[00:30:36] Should be like, uh, so we're from the, uh, Ministry of Natural Resources, eh?

[00:30:40] And, uh, Health Canada.

[00:30:42] Got a big problem coming through.

[00:30:45] Hemorrhagic fever.

[00:30:45] Yeah.

[00:30:45] There's a giant fucking like monster out back there.

[00:30:48] I understand what you think you saw there, boy.

[00:30:51] However, gotta tell ya, it's not what you think.

[00:30:54] One of the first side effects is hemorrhagic fever.

[00:30:56] Hemorrhagic fever.

[00:30:57] Very serious business.

[00:30:59] Hallucinations.

[00:31:01] So, one of my comrades here gonna come around and give you a quick vaccine.

[00:31:04] Anybody who's seen shit gonna need to see, uh, gonna need to take this.

[00:31:08] Okay.

[00:31:09] Cause we know how much Canadians love to line up for their vaccines.

[00:31:14] So, you get about like, you get most of them, like agreeing to this and some of that.

[00:31:19] But that guy that was shouting about like monsters and stuff and like two of his buddies

[00:31:22] that was like, we ain't doing any fucking vaccines.

[00:31:24] We haven't done this for the COVID.

[00:31:26] We haven't done it now.

[00:31:28] Well, that's alright.

[00:31:29] We got another option for you.

[00:31:31] It's a pill format.

[00:31:32] Just come on right over here.

[00:31:34] Just behind the car.

[00:31:38] I take the hammer.

[00:31:39] Good news.

[00:31:40] It's a suppository.

[00:31:42] That's what I was gonna go with.

[00:31:44] We're gonna see if we have any eggs or anything.

[00:31:47] Um, alright.

[00:31:48] So, try and, uh, so the, the, the, the, the rest of the audience is gonna be like,

[00:31:51] able to like, uh, like, gonna fall along.

[00:31:54] You're gonna make me roll for those?

[00:31:55] These three shit disturbers.

[00:31:56] Mm-hmm.

[00:31:57] Like these anti-vaxxers are gonna be, uh, the problem.

[00:32:00] So, you gotta convince them to even like, like go with you to somewhere.

[00:32:03] Cause like, they ain't doing anything like that.

[00:32:05] Look here, boys.

[00:32:07] I'll put this to you very straight.

[00:32:10] Hemorrhagic fever.

[00:32:12] Highly contagious.

[00:32:13] You come with us.

[00:32:15] That sounds like fake news.

[00:32:16] Yep.

[00:32:17] Mm-hmm.

[00:32:17] Fake news.

[00:32:18] Fantastic.

[00:32:18] I'm gonna just get back into our current and just get the hell out of here.

[00:32:21] Sounds perfect.

[00:32:22] Vice.

[00:32:23] And I pull out my taser and I shoot one.

[00:32:26] Okay.

[00:32:29] I've been wanting to use this.

[00:32:32] Finally.

[00:32:33] I actually do have one too.

[00:32:35] So do I.

[00:32:36] Yeah.

[00:32:37] Uh...

[00:32:38] Oh, I have a stun gun.

[00:32:42] 16 and 3.

[00:32:45] Yeah, cause I'm not proficient in it.

[00:32:47] So 16 plus 3 is 19.

[00:32:48] Does that hit?

[00:32:49] Oh yeah.

[00:32:50] Okay.

[00:32:50] I assume that that's enough to put him down.

[00:32:52] Yeah, he drops like such freaking, like, like crying and, or like, like tears and some

[00:32:56] of that.

[00:32:57] Um, everybody roll, uh, perceptions.

[00:32:59] Is this going on?

[00:33:04] Yeah.

[00:33:05] Yeah.

[00:33:05] Should I roll to attack one of the other ones with my stun gun as well?

[00:33:07] Mm-hmm.

[00:33:08] If we're doing that.

[00:33:10] 18.

[00:33:12] Alright, stun gun.

[00:33:14] Whoops.

[00:33:16] Okay, I got 21, but I get advantage on perception checks.

[00:33:21] Do you though?

[00:33:22] Hmm.

[00:33:23] 20.

[00:33:25] Okay.

[00:33:28] Um...

[00:33:29] 14 stun gun and 12 perception.

[00:33:34] That's fine.

[00:33:34] Yeah.

[00:33:35] And what did you get there, Mer?

[00:33:37] 18.

[00:33:38] Okay.

[00:33:38] Alright, so, um, yeah, as, as you guys start like tasing the two...

[00:33:41] I'm confused.

[00:33:42] Beanbag routes!

[00:33:45] Yeah, as you guys are like using the, um, or as you guys are tasing the two non-compliance

[00:33:49] and there's the third one.

[00:33:50] Um, you guys also all noticed that like people are trying to, like the people that are,

[00:33:54] that we're gonna follow, are following, we're following along, they started like pulling

[00:33:57] out their phones to start recording.

[00:34:01] Cause, like, some of, some government types are tasing some people who aren't complying

[00:34:05] with, uh, with something.

[00:34:06] So, that's gonna be a thing.

[00:34:11] Mm-hmm.

[00:34:11] So how do you want to solve that or deal with that?

[00:34:19] Recommendations.

[00:34:20] Okay.

[00:34:21] Also at this point, Merit.

[00:34:22] A lot of ideas.

[00:34:23] Also, Merit, at this point, uh, while you're watching this, you're seeing that, oh, shit.

[00:34:26] That's when you hear, off in the distance behind the gas station and into the woods,

[00:34:29] like, or behind it in like the marshy woods and stuff, you hear like, uh, some, uh, a tree

[00:34:34] fall and like some like, some kind of like, uh, weird guttural roar.

[00:34:37] Or like, uh, guttural hissing roar.

[00:34:44] Uh, gentlemen, I do believe there is a matter out behind that building that requires our

[00:34:48] immediate attention.

[00:34:52] There are two things that's gonna need attention.

[00:34:55] There are two things that's gonna need attention.

[00:34:55] I'm sure that's true.

[00:34:57] You just gotta take care of this bullshit first.

[00:35:01] Hmm.

[00:35:04] Hmm.

[00:35:05] Nope, that won't translate to, uh, okay, so how many guys are still...

[00:35:12] There's one guy that's, the one of the, there's, so one of the three guys that's like,

[00:35:15] were Andy Baxter's and the, you guys took the other two down.

[00:35:18] But the, the rest of the crowd that was like, complying with you guys, they saw that you

[00:35:22] guys just tased those two people that were like arguing with you.

[00:35:25] And that's when they pulled up their, their phones and started recording.

[00:35:27] That's less of an issue for me.

[00:35:29] They don't actually have anything on camera.

[00:35:31] The tasing's happened.

[00:35:33] Yeah, it's fine.

[00:35:34] They don't have anything on camera that is out of the ordinary.

[00:35:37] That's fair.

[00:35:38] Like, it's probably police brutality, but that is all kinds of not my problem.

[00:35:42] Yeah.

[00:35:42] That is true.

[00:35:43] That is true.

[00:35:44] Because there's nothing supernatural or,

[00:35:47] or, what not.

[00:35:49] It's really just, uh, okay, so, then is the third one going to continue to be non-compliant?

[00:35:56] Um, let's find out.

[00:35:58] A little intimidation as I walk up to him with a stun gun.

[00:36:01] Yeah, well, you two are still, you guys were tasing, you two were tasing Mary.

[00:36:05] So it's like, Mary, if you want to do, like, intimidating, that guy's like,

[00:36:08] it's like, you next?

[00:36:10] Kind of thing.

[00:36:11] I got this brave one already.

[00:36:12] Can I offer you a vaccine now, sir?

[00:36:15] Is that you're using intimidation for that?

[00:36:17] Okay, roll intimidation.

[00:36:18] I have a shitty intimidation.

[00:36:19] I have no charisma.

[00:36:22] Can I make a strength check instead?

[00:36:23] No.

[00:36:25] Eleven?

[00:36:27] Eleven?

[00:36:27] It's like, man, fuck you!

[00:36:29] Like, you goddamn fed types are all the same.

[00:36:31] Ugh, and like goes...

[00:36:31] Alright, then I headbutt him in the face.

[00:36:33] Okay.

[00:36:34] Yeah.

[00:36:35] There's the police brutality.

[00:36:36] Mm-hmm.

[00:36:37] Let's figure it.

[00:36:38] There's a seventeen nat plus four...

[00:36:42] Can we call that an athletics check?

[00:36:44] Yeah.

[00:36:45] Yeah.

[00:36:46] So that's twenty-six to hit.

[00:36:48] Okay, you hit him.

[00:36:49] What's the damage?

[00:36:49] I don't know.

[00:36:51] It's an unarmed strike.

[00:36:52] Yeah, so...

[00:36:53] A d4?

[00:36:54] It's a d4.

[00:36:55] Yeah.

[00:36:57] I would've won.

[00:36:59] Plus my damaged mouse.

[00:37:01] Five.

[00:37:01] Ow!

[00:37:02] What was it?

[00:37:03] Both of you.

[00:37:03] Five.

[00:37:04] Five?

[00:37:04] Okay, yeah.

[00:37:05] You're like, ow, fuck.

[00:37:07] But he's like on the ground, like, not unconscious, but just like...

[00:37:11] He's stunned.

[00:37:11] Stunned, basically.

[00:37:12] I then forcibly nasal spray him with some placebo.

[00:37:15] Okay.

[00:37:16] And then I do the two guys on the ground.

[00:37:18] Yeah.

[00:37:19] And we get back in the vehicle and we fucking go around.

[00:37:21] Well, no, we still have to do the other people.

[00:37:24] We started with them.

[00:37:26] No, they were...

[00:37:26] No.

[00:37:27] Starting to comply and then like, these guys started becoming shit disturbers.

[00:37:29] Right off.

[00:37:29] So we gotta hit up the other ones.

[00:37:32] Uh, okay.

[00:37:34] You guys take the van around back and check for anybody else down there.

[00:37:37] Okay.

[00:37:37] Now just real quick there, friends.

[00:37:39] Need to let you know that the second stage of hemorrhagic fever is going to be a loss

[00:37:43] of consciousness.

[00:37:45] You guys are all gonna get a little drowsy and fall asleep.

[00:37:48] That is normal.

[00:37:50] But when you wake up, you should feel a hell of a lot better.

[00:37:53] And then I'm going to cast sleep.

[00:37:56] Nice.

[00:37:57] Okay.

[00:37:59] Okay, this is technically an AOE.

[00:38:00] Yeah.

[00:38:01] It is.

[00:38:02] I can do five die eight worth of hit point...

[00:38:05] Worth of creature's hit points.

[00:38:07] Mm-hmm.

[00:38:07] Assuming that they're all like, level one or two, this should get most of them.

[00:38:12] Yep.

[00:38:12] There happens to be just one roll B in the group.

[00:38:17] Uh, uh, fifteen, eight is twenty-eight, thirty...

[00:38:30] Okay.

[00:38:32] Thirty.

[00:38:33] Thirty.

[00:38:34] Thirty...

[00:38:34] Thirty hit points worth of creatures.

[00:38:36] Yeah, they're all dead.

[00:38:37] Okay.

[00:38:39] Um, hey, you guys look over and the guy in the, uh, the cop is like...

[00:38:43] On the glass, just like...

[00:38:46] Okay.

[00:38:48] Uh, yeah, they're all dead.

[00:38:49] And all their phones, like they all just drop like, and their phones like next to them

[00:38:52] are in their hands as they drop and such.

[00:38:54] Cancel, cancel, cancel.

[00:38:56] Uh, you do see a couple of them were live streaming.

[00:38:59] It's fine.

[00:39:00] So...

[00:39:00] It's fine.

[00:39:01] We can go in and take the videos down.

[00:39:04] We'll get it later.

[00:39:05] Don't worry about it.

[00:39:05] Yeah.

[00:39:06] Let's go get the spring monster.

[00:39:07] Get in the car.

[00:39:08] Okay.

[00:39:08] Alright.

[00:39:10] Let's do this.

[00:39:11] You do hear, like, as you guys are like, alright, now we gotta do this like...

[00:39:14] Oh!

[00:39:15] Crunch!

[00:39:16] Behind in the woods.

[00:39:19] Alright, getting in the car, driving around the building.

[00:39:22] Okay.

[00:39:23] Yeah, down like, basically using their like, little dirt road that goes around the building.

[00:39:26] Turning so hard, two wheels are coming up off the ground.

[00:39:31] Looks like them dude boys are gonna heap of trouble.

[00:39:35] Except them boys.

[00:39:36] Yeah, you follow...

[00:39:38] Yeah, you follow the sound of the, um, of the screams and the kind of like rumbling

[00:39:43] in the brush and such.

[00:39:44] And you come to, like, the road takes you down near a river bank.

[00:39:48] Uh, and you see this river and...

[00:39:51] Yeah, there's a, there's a half a guy down the gullet of this, of one of those snake monsters.

[00:39:56] Which half?

[00:39:57] Like, his legs are poking out.

[00:39:59] And just like getting, getting eaten.

[00:40:02] I didn't think they were around.

[00:40:05] But, uh, yeah.

[00:40:06] So, there's a, there's one of them at least, uh, right in the, in the water.

[00:40:10] And kind of like partially on the water, partially on the bank.

[00:40:12] Um, and like you see some devastation around like, kind of like some collateral about like the forest and stuff like that.

[00:40:18] Okay.

[00:40:18] So we're just, we're just killing all these, right?

[00:40:20] Yeah.

[00:40:21] I'm whipping the mastering machine around, pointing the ass end at the, uh, at the, the soy pants.

[00:40:26] I'm gonna put my hand on, uh...

[00:40:28] Serpent.

[00:40:29] There's no, there's not, there's only one of them.

[00:40:31] Well, we don't know that.

[00:40:33] Well, you can only see one.

[00:40:34] We can only see one.

[00:40:35] Yeah, sure.

[00:40:36] I'm gonna put my hand on, uh, on John's shoulder and cast guidance.

[00:40:38] Okay.

[00:40:40] So you have, uh, an extra D4 to your hit dice.

[00:40:44] Okay.

[00:40:44] Your attack roll, I should say.

[00:40:46] Okay.

[00:40:47] And I'm assuming I'm machine gunning this guy.

[00:40:49] Yes.

[00:40:50] Directly in the face, ideally.

[00:40:53] That's not a very good roll.

[00:40:56] Um, wait, what was the...

[00:40:59] Wait, were we, were we continuing to do this how we did it last time?

[00:41:03] Or, were we going to go with what we had originally said we were going to go with, where it's an AoE attack?

[00:41:10] We were going to talk about it in the meantime and we didn't.

[00:41:13] Fuck yeah, we didn't.

[00:41:13] Yeah.

[00:41:15] Uh, what was the other, what was the other suggestion we were going to go with?

[00:41:18] What were we thinking of?

[00:41:19] We were thinking of to do it as an AoE attack.

[00:41:22] It's basically fireball but piercing.

[00:41:26] So he's attacking an area, and then it makes a...

[00:41:29] Reflat save.

[00:41:30] I guess a dexterity saving throw for half damage.

[00:41:33] Okay.

[00:41:34] Instead of using the actual game's rules for full auto with this where it does double damage, or double dice.

[00:41:42] Well, okay.

[00:41:43] Yeah, because...

[00:41:44] We tried it the way they did it, right?

[00:41:46] We did it like their way first, or did we use our fire...

[00:41:48] Yeah.

[00:41:49] We did it their way.

[00:41:49] Their way with our home brewed machine gun.

[00:41:52] That does 7 die 6 damage.

[00:41:54] So it was a total of 14 die 6 I was rolling.

[00:41:57] Got it.

[00:41:57] Because I was using full auto.

[00:41:58] Yeah.

[00:42:00] I'd say let's try the fireball, the fireball piercing way.

[00:42:04] The AoE effect.

[00:42:06] Just see how it works.

[00:42:08] Now as I recall, we had also said that it would do 1 die less than a standard fireball, which is 8 die 6.

[00:42:16] So that's where we got the 7 die 6 from.

[00:42:18] That's where we got the 7 die 6 from.

[00:42:20] I happen to have 7 out right here.

[00:42:22] I will roll I guess for its reflex.

[00:42:24] So do I not roll to hit? Because it's an area attack?

[00:42:29] Correct.

[00:42:30] Oh okay.

[00:42:31] You can just roll damage.

[00:42:32] Fair enough.

[00:42:33] And then try to dodge that hail of bullets.

[00:42:35] Well it got a 19 to dodge.

[00:42:37] So then it's probably taking half damage.

[00:42:49] 24?

[00:42:50] 24, so 12.

[00:42:53] Okay.

[00:42:55] Yeah, it's 5 bullets.

[00:42:56] Should I start counting the bullets? Like we only have so many, right?

[00:42:58] We have hundreds.

[00:42:59] We had like hundreds of bullets.

[00:43:00] So don't you have a lot of there?

[00:43:01] Yeah.

[00:43:02] And also, I was going to count that as a surprise attack, so now it is initiative.

[00:43:07] Okay.

[00:43:08] I'm going to do this though.

[00:43:10] Should I roll a d20 anyway, just in case it jams?

[00:43:13] Because right now it just shoots forever with no downside ever.

[00:43:16] I see you got that.

[00:43:17] It's an m2. They don't jam.

[00:43:19] Hold on.

[00:43:20] I have a suggestion for this.

[00:43:24] What if he rolls his attack roll and that sets the DC for its dexterity sake?

[00:43:32] Yeah, I can deal with that.

[00:43:34] I can deal with that.

[00:43:34] So if I roll a 10, then it has to beat a 10?

[00:43:37] Yeah.

[00:43:38] Whereas if you roll a 19, then it has to beat a 19.

[00:43:42] Basically, it's qualifying for how good your aim is.

[00:43:48] Yeah.

[00:43:49] Actually, I really like that.

[00:43:51] That makes a lot of sense, honestly.

[00:43:53] Okay.

[00:43:53] Okay.

[00:43:54] So what was your roll?

[00:43:57] 19.

[00:43:58] Okay, then you beat it.

[00:43:59] You're good enough.

[00:44:00] The result did not change, but it's good that we have that rule.

[00:44:05] Yeah.

[00:44:05] And then it still leaves the possibility of it rolling a natural one, in which case you

[00:44:09] would jam.

[00:44:10] Yeah.

[00:44:10] Yes.

[00:44:10] Yeah.

[00:44:11] Okay.

[00:44:13] My dexterity, or my initiative is 17.

[00:44:17] 17?

[00:44:18] Okay.

[00:44:18] 17, sir.

[00:44:20] Wait, what did Guidance do to the roll?

[00:44:22] I don't remember.

[00:44:22] Gave you an additional die for.

[00:44:33] You're Jacob, right?

[00:44:34] Jacob Blackstone?

[00:44:35] And he's John Deere.

[00:44:37] Still in pass.

[00:44:38] Close, but...

[00:44:39] What's your initiative?

[00:44:41] I don't know.

[00:44:42] He had a roll on it.

[00:44:43] I don't know.

[00:44:43] What did you go for?

[00:44:44] His name is Jingleheimer Schmidt.

[00:44:47] Yeah.

[00:44:48] That name's my name, too!

[00:44:51] Because we've got John Jacob.

[00:44:53] Yes.

[00:44:54] John Jakob.

[00:44:56] Jakob.

[00:44:56] Seven initiative.

[00:44:58] Seven?

[00:44:58] That's fine.

[00:44:59] You're actually beating the monster.

[00:45:00] Wow.

[00:45:01] Also seven.

[00:45:02] Also seven?

[00:45:03] What's your modifier?

[00:45:04] I'm faster.

[00:45:05] He's faster.

[00:45:06] Okay.

[00:45:07] So Jacob's going first, then John, then Marcel, then the Krypton.

[00:45:10] First Jacob, then John, then Marcel.

[00:45:12] So...

[00:45:14] Well, that's not right.

[00:45:15] How about alphabetical?

[00:45:16] First Jacob, then John, then Marcel.

[00:45:18] Okay.

[00:45:19] So, Jakob.

[00:45:20] Get up.

[00:45:22] Okay.

[00:45:23] Well...

[00:45:24] I'm a fat butt.

[00:45:26] I haven't really given much consideration to this.

[00:45:36] You know what?

[00:45:38] I'm going to take a quick look around with my passive perception.

[00:45:40] Do I notice anybody else back here?

[00:45:43] No.

[00:45:44] No.

[00:45:44] It seems like there was just the one guy who was like, went deeper than like the gas station,

[00:45:48] like where the gas station was.

[00:45:49] And like that was the police officer who's currently...

[00:45:52] Well, there's his leg and there's his other leg.

[00:45:54] Cause after that first bout of bullets, the thing just chomped down and the legs fell.

[00:45:58] Okay.

[00:45:59] While leaving the car running, I'm going to pop the door open and half step out, raise

[00:46:05] my hand, and fire a magic missile at it.

[00:46:08] Okay.

[00:46:09] I knew it!

[00:46:10] Like I was like, I had the jugglers like, I knew it!

[00:46:13] Yeah.

[00:46:14] That's when you see the drone.

[00:46:16] No, no.

[00:46:20] Okay, so...

[00:46:21] You got to face the drone.

[00:46:22] Yeah.

[00:46:23] Alright.

[00:46:24] Three little blue modes of light.

[00:46:26] Streak out from my hand, strike the bitch for 9 damage.

[00:46:29] Okay.

[00:46:32] It pelt's him, he's angry.

[00:46:35] Those legs are definitely dead now.

[00:46:37] Oh, those legs are on the shore and in the water.

[00:46:41] I was making a joke that I was attacking the legs.

[00:46:44] Damn it.

[00:46:46] Sorry.

[00:46:49] Alright, next up is John.

[00:46:54] So I'm rolling another deck save.

[00:46:57] Yeah, I'm rolling to shoot him.

[00:46:58] You're rolling to not be shot.

[00:47:00] Ooh shit, that's me tap.

[00:47:02] See if I can roll double digits.

[00:47:05] Exactly double digits.

[00:47:08] So that's 18?

[00:47:10] 18?

[00:47:10] He doesn't get away from all those bullets.

[00:47:14] Okay.

[00:47:15] Because I only rolled a 15.

[00:47:18] I was surprised by the recoil on the first.

[00:47:21] Unfortunately, Cresties on land or even on the water, partially on land and water, they

[00:47:27] are not very dexterous.

[00:47:28] Good.

[00:47:29] I have to work at 11.

[00:47:30] Okay.

[00:47:31] You should be able to get this done before then.

[00:47:36] So I will set an alarm for 10.

[00:47:38] 19 damage.

[00:47:39] 19 damage?

[00:47:40] Okay.

[00:47:41] Yep.

[00:47:41] It wasn't very good.

[00:47:44] It wasn't very good.

[00:47:44] You're whittling him down.

[00:47:45] Yeah.

[00:47:46] He's taking the bullets like a champ, but he is like champy.

[00:47:51] Mm-hmm.

[00:47:53] But yeah, he's still up and kicking.

[00:47:56] Marcel, you're up.

[00:47:58] Alright, I'm going to cast Sacred Flame on the Pessy.

[00:48:03] Okay.

[00:48:04] So if you need to roll for me a DC 14 dex save.

[00:48:09] 5.

[00:48:10] Okay.

[00:48:11] Then you take 1d8 damage.

[00:48:14] Radiant damage.

[00:48:17] 8.

[00:48:19] Okay.

[00:48:20] And does he have to roll for like to be blind?

[00:48:24] Nope, not on this one.

[00:48:24] Okay.

[00:48:26] Alright.

[00:48:27] Next up is the Cressy.

[00:48:28] So, okay, here's a question.

[00:48:31] I don't care that much for battle maps, but like, where are you guys in conjection with

[00:48:36] this creature?

[00:48:37] So like, we'll just use...

[00:48:40] I'm in the van.

[00:48:41] I'm hoping we're within 60 feet because that is the range of my turn.

[00:48:43] Okay.

[00:48:43] This is the creature in like the water.

[00:48:46] We're like partially on the water and on the bank.

[00:48:47] Okay?

[00:48:48] The road's like right here, basically.

[00:48:50] So you guys are about like 30, 40 feet away from the...

[00:48:52] Where's the road?

[00:48:53] Right here.

[00:48:54] So I'm on the road in the van.

[00:48:56] Okay, so there's the van.

[00:48:58] So where would...

[00:48:59] And you just stepped out of the car.

[00:49:00] I'm not even...

[00:49:01] I'm half out of the van.

[00:49:03] Okay, so you're like...

[00:49:03] I have one foot in, one foot out.

[00:49:06] So you're there.

[00:49:07] So you're like next to him.

[00:49:09] I'm assuming you...

[00:49:09] And then where's Marcel?

[00:49:11] Probably just got out of the van.

[00:49:11] I'm standing right next to him.

[00:49:14] So you guys are all basically in the same area.

[00:49:16] Okay, so it's basically going to be a...

[00:49:17] Like I get to roll and see if he can hit you.

[00:49:20] I'm definitely getting...

[00:49:22] Alright, I'll just make...

[00:49:23] I'll just roll a D3 and see which one it's going to do.

[00:49:28] Marcel, you're getting attacked.

[00:49:30] Okay.

[00:49:43] It is going to...

[00:49:45] Its tail actually comes striking up at you and goes to slash at you.

[00:49:52] Potentially even grapple.

[00:49:55] Good try.

[00:49:56] So I rolled a...

[00:49:57] I got a...

[00:49:58] This is going to be like 27.

[00:50:00] Okay.

[00:50:00] Grab it, man.

[00:50:01] Okay.

[00:50:01] So first things first.

[00:50:04] Apple grape hybrids.

[00:50:06] Grapples.

[00:50:08] Grapple cannon.

[00:50:15] 17...

[00:50:16] Plus 6.

[00:50:25] 23 damage from the first attack of its tail.

[00:50:31] And then because of that...

[00:50:38] You dropped a die.

[00:50:40] I know I did.

[00:50:41] So...

[00:50:42] Roll me a...

[00:50:44] Is there an escape artist thing on this?

[00:50:47] I guess there isn't that.

[00:50:49] I figured that out.

[00:50:52] Yeah, roll a strength of dexterity roll to get unbound.

[00:50:57] Otherwise you're going to take some damage.

[00:50:59] Can I make an athletics check?

[00:51:00] Yeah, athletics.

[00:51:01] I'll do it.

[00:51:03] Against its constriction.

[00:51:05] Constriction.

[00:51:05] Tail.

[00:51:06] Wow.

[00:51:07] 10.

[00:51:09] You just like...

[00:51:16] I keep getting calls from Barry and saying I don't recognize any numbers.

[00:51:20] We're trying to get a hold of you about your extended warranty!

[00:51:23] I rolled a nat 1 on its...

[00:51:26] So you just like...

[00:51:27] It tried to wrap around you and you're just like, no!

[00:51:30] Like pull it away from it.

[00:51:31] If you roll a nat 1, do I now have his tail?

[00:51:33] If you want, yeah.

[00:51:34] Yeah, okay, I got him.

[00:51:35] You got him.

[00:51:36] I have his tail, yeah.

[00:51:38] Next.

[00:51:38] That means he's immobilized now and then if you start rotating...

[00:51:42] He's strained technically.

[00:51:44] I was trying to make a joke.

[00:51:45] I know.

[00:51:45] Now he's immobilized.

[00:51:46] If you start rotating your stick really quickly, then you'll slowly build momentum and spin

[00:51:50] him around.

[00:51:51] Then you press A or something and it goes, so long, ya Bowser!

[00:51:54] So long, Bazzi!

[00:51:58] Alright, so yeah, you got him in a bind there.

[00:52:03] Congrats, you have the tail end of a bus-sized lake serpent.

[00:52:10] This is what I'm here for.

[00:52:12] Jacob, you're up.

[00:52:14] Okay.

[00:52:17] Uh huh.

[00:52:18] Uh huh.

[00:52:19] I uh...

[00:52:21] I'm a wizard who's running out of shit to do.

[00:52:23] You have guns.

[00:52:25] Well that's true.

[00:52:26] Alright.

[00:52:26] I'll pull out the togarib.

[00:52:29] It was crafted by elves.

[00:52:31] Don't worry, I got it.

[00:52:32] Soviet elves.

[00:52:33] And then I cast with my spells.

[00:52:35] He who casts with his spells has forgotten the face of his father.

[00:52:37] I cast with my guns.

[00:52:41] Okay.

[00:52:42] Alright, I'm attacking with the pistol.

[00:52:44] Now, how does that work?

[00:52:46] Can I only shoot once?

[00:52:47] Or do I get another shot?

[00:52:49] I don't know how it works.

[00:52:49] If you were using semi-automatic, you can shoot three times, use three bullets, and you

[00:52:56] get plus two damage?

[00:53:00] That's dumb.

[00:53:03] That's just the way they wrote the semi-automatic rules.

[00:53:05] Okay, well I guess I'm doing that.

[00:53:08] They're basically factoring in that you miss.

[00:53:12] I'll add that one.

[00:53:14] Twenty-two to hit.

[00:53:15] Twenty-two to hit?

[00:53:16] That will hit.

[00:53:17] Okay.

[00:53:18] Especially since...oh, you also took advantage.

[00:53:20] Because it is restraint.

[00:53:25] Okay, I'll roll again.

[00:53:26] It might be a twenty.

[00:53:27] I caught a tiger by the tail.

[00:53:29] Yeah.

[00:53:30] Caught a tiger by the tail.

[00:53:34] It is not a twenty.

[00:53:36] Okay, so that's two die for four, plus three, plus two, four, one, five, and five is ten.

[00:53:49] So that's ten damage.

[00:53:50] Okay.

[00:53:51] From a bullet.

[00:53:52] Three bullets.

[00:53:53] Blah, blah, blah.

[00:53:54] Bam!

[00:53:54] We got this.

[00:53:55] Bam, bam.

[00:53:56] Yeah.

[00:53:57] I feel like Chris Redfield fighting the Ur of Oros.

[00:54:01] Yeah.

[00:54:02] Alright, John.

[00:54:05] I'm shooting bullets.

[00:54:07] It's currently restrained.

[00:54:09] Yep.

[00:54:09] So you get an advantage.

[00:54:11] Okay.

[00:54:11] And he gets disadvantage on dexterity saving throws.

[00:54:16] Excellent.

[00:54:17] This is the best call ever.

[00:54:18] This was.

[00:54:19] As long as I don't roll terribly and hit you with it.

[00:54:21] Now bear in mind on your roll, you're going to have to roll a post strength test to get

[00:54:24] out of the way, to get away from it.

[00:54:26] Are you stronger?

[00:54:26] To hold it.

[00:54:27] That's fine.

[00:54:28] If it doesn't, if it beats you, you're going blind.

[00:54:32] That's fine.

[00:54:33] Total of twenty-one.

[00:54:34] Okay.

[00:54:47] So he had fails.

[00:54:49] Okay.

[00:54:50] Just a little power damage.

[00:54:53] Don't continue rolling one.

[00:54:55] Easy roller dice?

[00:54:56] Yep.

[00:54:56] Dot com.

[00:54:57] No.

[00:54:58] I have been using it.

[00:55:02] Relatively easy roller dice tray from ferrerarochet.com.

[00:55:09] Ferrerarochet tray from Dollarama.

[00:55:12] Yeah.

[00:55:12] Dot com.

[00:55:14] Bit dot com.

[00:55:20] Total of twenty-three.

[00:55:23] I really hope it's been recorded this whole time.

[00:55:25] Yo.

[00:55:27] Sorry, what was the damage?

[00:55:28] Twenty-three.

[00:55:29] Three?

[00:55:29] Two of them were ones and two of them were twos.

[00:55:31] Nice.

[00:55:32] That's nine.

[00:55:33] Yep.

[00:55:34] Okay.

[00:55:35] It is hurting.

[00:55:37] It's getting bloodied, but it's still kicking and ferocious.

[00:55:41] Marcel, roll that strength test.

[00:55:45] I guess technically...

[00:55:46] Here's a canine.

[00:55:47] So it's technically being restrained by Marcel.

[00:55:50] Does it roll disadvantage on its opposed strength test to try and break free?

[00:55:54] Or is it just an opposed strength test like as normal?

[00:55:56] It's just an opposed strength test.

[00:55:57] Okay.

[00:55:58] Sorry.

[00:55:59] It does not roll disadvantage to get out of a grapple.

[00:56:04] This is an opposed strength test.

[00:56:06] Do I roll disadvantage shooting into melee?

[00:56:08] No.

[00:56:09] Shooting when there's a threat.

[00:56:10] Twelve!

[00:56:11] I still got a perk.

[00:56:13] You're definitely skimming on the ground a little bit or wherever you are.

[00:56:16] I can't see him.

[00:56:18] You're holding other things, technically you're able to keep it from getting its tail back and

[00:56:23] it's freaking out of that.

[00:56:24] It would be like an ant trying to wrestle you.

[00:56:26] Yes.

[00:56:27] What does it have to do on the tour?

[00:56:31] Um...

[00:56:31] I still need both hands to restrain him, right?

[00:56:35] Head bone.

[00:56:37] Knee him.

[00:56:38] The head is still like 30 feet away.

[00:56:40] This thing's like pretty long so...

[00:56:42] I'm gonna kick him in the ass.

[00:56:43] Eh!

[00:56:47] He's restrained, I get advantage on it.

[00:56:51] Okay, an unarmed strike against its behind.

[00:56:56] Kay?

[00:56:57] Like 2d4 damage.

[00:57:02] Uh, 8.

[00:57:05] Plus my strength modifier, 12 damage.

[00:57:07] Those are some nasty steel-toed boots.

[00:57:10] Kay somehow surprisingly finds directly his anus.

[00:57:14] Yeah, right on his reptilian straight up the cloaca.

[00:57:17] Yeah, that's it.

[00:57:18] Oh god.

[00:57:19] Yeah.

[00:57:20] This thing is not having a good time.

[00:57:21] It's like...

[00:57:21] Unfortunately, your foot is now stuck.

[00:57:24] Oh god.

[00:57:26] But now it's Cressy's turn.

[00:57:27] Uh, Cressy is just gonna like come down on you and bite.

[00:57:31] So...

[00:57:32] It is tired of this bullshit.

[00:57:34] Bring it on!

[00:57:35] Actually, on its turn, would it also get a strength, a post strength test while it's

[00:57:39] being grappled or being like...

[00:57:40] While it's being restrained like by the tail?

[00:57:43] I think it only could spend its action to do that, yeah?

[00:57:46] Nah, it's just gonna bite you.

[00:57:47] Okay, that's a little bit better.

[00:57:58] Um...

[00:57:59] 35.

[00:58:00] Well, I rolled...

[00:58:01] My lower one was 16.

[00:58:04] Um...

[00:58:05] And...

[00:58:05] 16 means 9.

[00:58:08] 25.

[00:58:09] Thank you.

[00:58:09] Yes, I'm terrible at math.

[00:58:11] Like even counting.

[00:58:13] 25 to attack.

[00:58:14] Nope.

[00:58:14] Nope?

[00:58:15] Yeah, that is.

[00:58:19] Ah, shit, that's 3d10.

[00:58:23] Bring it on!

[00:58:25] Bring it on, little man!

[00:58:34] Okay, so that's gonna be...

[00:58:36] I forgot to use this thing again.

[00:58:41] It's okay, Dave.

[00:58:42] It's okay, Dave.

[00:58:43] I forgot the first time, I'm like okay, I don't remember next time.

[00:58:46] And then I did...

[00:58:46] Don't forget about Rob!

[00:58:48] Yeah.

[00:58:49] And Rob gets a turn, right?

[00:58:50] Uh, that's 27 damage from the first bite.

[00:58:54] Ooh.

[00:58:55] And then on its second attack, um...

[00:58:58] I guess it's gonna try and bite again?

[00:59:01] Or...

[00:59:02] Hmm.

[00:59:02] Okay, here's a yeah.

[00:59:03] So, the Cressy makes two attacks.

[00:59:05] One with its bite attack, or...

[00:59:07] And either one with its tail, or one with Constrict.

[00:59:10] Correct.

[00:59:11] So I guess...

[00:59:12] It can't really bite twice.

[00:59:14] It has to either bite, or use a tail attack.

[00:59:16] Correct.

[00:59:16] Okay, so in this case, I guess its second attack will be trying to get away from you.

[00:59:20] Or trying to like dislodge you from its tail.

[00:59:22] Fair.

[00:59:25] You're just hitting me, because I have one hit point.

[00:59:28] Wait, you're injured?

[00:59:29] Yeah.

[00:59:31] I've whipped him and bitten him a couple of times, twice now.

[00:59:33] Oh, I was...I did not realize you were being injured.

[00:59:36] Um...

[00:59:36] So, uh, that is gonna be, um...

[00:59:38] It's fine. Don't worry about it.

[00:59:40] 17 to, uh, the strength, the post-strength test.

[00:59:43] Alright, I'm gonna roll for that.

[00:59:44] Yep.

[00:59:45] You win.

[00:59:46] So you are, uh, you're...the chomping is probably what did it.

[00:59:49] Yeah, as you like, as it finally, you finally let go.

[00:59:52] And, uh, it whips its tail back in its, uh...

[00:59:56] Uh, yeah.

[00:59:56] So, that's what...it finally gets its tail dislodged from you.

[00:59:59] Um, but you also, like, delivered a pretty nasty blow to you.

[01:00:03] Uh, and, uh, next up is, uh, top of the round.

[01:00:06] So...okay, Jacob.

[01:00:08] Okay, well, um...

[01:00:11] Yeah.

[01:00:12] I'm gonna, I'm gonna pull the trigger three more times.

[01:00:15] Okay.

[01:00:16] You know, try to keep the Tok'raib steady.

[01:00:19] Those glorious 7.62x25 rounds.

[01:00:23] On target.

[01:00:24] Are they also 7.62x25?

[01:00:26] By 25.

[01:00:28] Hmm.

[01:00:29] Uh, 18 to hit.

[01:00:31] Uh, that'll hit.

[01:00:32] Okay.

[01:00:39] Uh, 11.

[01:00:40] 11 total damage.

[01:00:42] Okay.

[01:00:42] From the glory of the Soviet Tok'raib.

[01:00:46] I need one more damage, kick him in the ass.

[01:00:49] I only did double damage with an M2 Browning.

[01:00:54] You're doing pretty good with that pistol.

[01:00:56] John!

[01:00:57] Speaking of the Browning.

[01:00:57] Yeah.

[01:00:59] Let him rip.

[01:01:01] Or should I attempt to heal?

[01:01:03] No, just kill it.

[01:01:04] Yeah.

[01:01:06] Honestly, even if I heal you, it's gonna out damage the amount of healing I do.

[01:01:10] It is also looking pretty, it's also looking pretty riddled and bloody, but it's like...

[01:01:13] Yes.

[01:01:14] Yeah.

[01:01:14] Also, it's not quote unquote immobilized anymore, right?

[01:01:17] Yeah.

[01:01:17] It's now, yeah, it is now, you know, you only get the one shot.

[01:01:21] Fuck!

[01:01:22] Oh, I gotta roll for it too.

[01:01:25] Um, you are rolling a dex save versus the DC which I'm creating with my roll, which is terrible.

[01:01:30] Well, let's see what it is first.

[01:01:31] It is a total of 10.

[01:01:33] You beat it.

[01:01:34] Wow.

[01:01:35] I rolled a 3.

[01:01:36] Holy shit.

[01:01:36] These decks are abysmal because they're huge.

[01:01:39] They're giant and they're giant lumbering snakes.

[01:01:41] Yup.

[01:01:43] They have fantastic, like they have fantastic water speed and abysmal land speed.

[01:01:51] Um, alright, so that's uh, that's John.

[01:01:55] So what, yeah, so you guys, do your damage.

[01:01:57] Sorry.

[01:01:57] I was gonna say, you can move on to that first before you get off the day.

[01:02:00] Sorry, sorry.

[01:02:01] Sorry, so sorry.

[01:02:03] I was also thinking actually, Aaron and you guys, if you guys want for like to count your anima dice,

[01:02:08] we can start using, I have like a whole bag of coins.

[01:02:11] True.

[01:02:11] Of the plastic coins that are used for like action points.

[01:02:14] I got a whole bag of crap.

[01:02:16] I honestly didn't see it.

[01:02:18] It's a huge bag of crap.

[01:02:19] 25.

[01:02:20] Hmm?

[01:02:20] 25.

[01:02:21] 25?

[01:02:22] How do you kill them?

[01:02:23] With the machine gun.

[01:02:24] With bullets.

[01:02:25] By holding the trigger down the machine gun.

[01:02:27] I did not kill with my mom, I did not kill with my browning.

[01:02:30] He killed with his browning and forgot the face of his father.

[01:02:32] I kill with the bullets of the browning.

[01:02:35] Yeah.

[01:02:35] It makes sense.

[01:02:36] I killed with the 50 counts.

[01:02:37] Yes, indeed.

[01:02:38] Um, so he's like, is he like not really paying attention to me too much?

[01:02:42] Yeah, he was just trying to get off.

[01:02:43] Yeah, he just talked about it.

[01:02:45] Actually, honestly, you look at him, it looked like he was about to like, either like die back

[01:02:49] to the water or like, he was like looking, like, it looked like he was like getting

[01:02:52] ready to leave, or like trying to flee.

[01:02:54] Okay.

[01:02:55] When you just...

[01:02:58] Yeah, so his head is like turning around.

[01:03:00] To either A, bite him or B, leave.

[01:03:02] Yeah.

[01:03:03] But as he's turning, I'm just like walking the shots up the side of his body and then

[01:03:07] like hits him in the jaw and like dislodges it and like up and through the eye and through

[01:03:10] the brain.

[01:03:12] Yeah, it's super gory.

[01:03:13] Yes.

[01:03:13] Yeah.

[01:03:14] And just like, it just like, kind of just like falls to the ground like limp as the

[01:03:19] last couple shots hit its cranium.

[01:03:21] Nice.

[01:03:22] All right.

[01:03:23] And you have, you've quelled the Cressy.

[01:03:25] Which chat out of the seven I'm going to choose from is the book for this game?

[01:03:31] Oh, it's...

[01:03:32] I couldn't find it.

[01:03:33] The only place I found it was in a direct message that he gave me.

[01:03:37] I'm checking right now.

[01:03:38] I have a saved copy.

[01:03:40] You put it in the WhatsApp though, for sure.

[01:03:44] Yes, I put it in the WhatsApp.

[01:03:46] But in the Discord, I don't know if you've ever posted it.

[01:03:48] In the Discord, I put it in the Secret...

[01:03:49] I should have put it in the Secret World Hunters of One Less Die.

[01:03:53] You put the original one there, not necessarily the new one.

[01:03:56] Did I not?

[01:03:56] I thought I had.

[01:03:58] No, I didn't.

[01:03:59] I'm sorry.

[01:04:00] Hang on.

[01:04:01] Oh wait, I did!

[01:04:02] It's right there!

[01:04:03] It's the December 21st one.

[01:04:05] Is it pinned?

[01:04:08] I don't think it's pinned, because I would have found it there if it was pinned.

[01:04:11] I shall pin it.

[01:04:11] Apparently I can't pin on the phone browser.

[01:04:13] I'll pin it.

[01:04:15] Hang on.

[01:04:15] Thank you.

[01:04:16] Yeah, so back to...

[01:04:17] So yeah, you've riddled it with holes, it dies.

[01:04:21] The terrain becomes a lot more quiet.

[01:04:25] Or the local area becomes a lot more quiet, aside from the sound of the cars and stuff

[01:04:30] that often by the gas station and such.

[01:04:33] Mhm.

[01:04:34] And there doesn't appear to be any other creatures moving around.

[01:04:38] So guys, what are we planning on doing with this giant snake?

[01:04:42] Well that's two down, five to go.

[01:04:45] Oh yeah, he's bleeding.

[01:04:47] He's like down to like...

[01:04:48] Yeah, he's not looking good.

[01:04:49] He's got one HP.

[01:04:50] Wow.

[01:04:52] You good, bro?

[01:04:53] You good?

[01:04:54] No.

[01:04:54] No I'm not.

[01:04:56] So what was...

[01:04:57] What's...

[01:05:00] And the person who does, roll a wisdom save to like see if you can actually pull the trigger.

[01:05:05] Mhm.

[01:05:06] Jesus.

[01:05:08] Okay, so I could just...

[01:05:12] I have one healing spell, healing word.

[01:05:15] Oh wait, no.

[01:05:16] Don't I have that one?

[01:05:18] No I don't.

[01:05:19] I think I also have healing word.

[01:05:24] Oh, actually, because we just reduced it down to zero...

[01:05:28] Oh shit.

[01:05:30] Yeah.

[01:05:31] I can use my reaction to heal you for two hit points.

[01:05:35] That's something that...

[01:05:36] What's a three?

[01:05:36] That's a talisman I have.

[01:05:38] Yeah.

[01:05:38] I also forgot to add like, as the creature died, it was farther, it was far away from you

[01:05:42] guys, but as it died, it let out a breath of ice that just basically like froze a whole

[01:05:47] section of the river nearby.

[01:05:50] Mhm.

[01:05:51] Because it has a sort of a death row mechanic to it, so...

[01:05:55] Okay.

[01:05:56] Okay.

[01:05:57] So I can...

[01:05:57] Remind you guys.

[01:05:58] Yeah, I was in melee with it one hour ago.

[01:06:01] Yeah, but it was...

[01:06:01] It moved away from you.

[01:06:02] It was really trying to get away after.

[01:06:04] Yeah.

[01:06:04] Yeah.

[01:06:05] Were you hoping to die?

[01:06:06] Yes.

[01:06:07] I mean if you were like...

[01:06:08] You could come back in 2d6 randoms and like...

[01:06:10] Well no, no.

[01:06:11] We fixed it.

[01:06:12] We've changed that.

[01:06:14] I haven't died yet.

[01:06:15] So I could do prayer of heal, which takes 10 minutes, but it'll do 2d8 plus my spell

[01:06:20] modifier of healing.

[01:06:22] Okay.

[01:06:23] Or I could do healing word, which is immediately, but it's just 1d4 plus 3.

[01:06:30] Well I mean we're going to be driving for a few minutes, you can probably do the prayer

[01:06:32] of healing on the drive.

[01:06:34] Yeah.

[01:06:35] Okay.

[01:06:35] I will say the next...

[01:06:38] As your guys are like, things are getting quieter, the scanner does crackle again.

[01:06:42] There's apparently a pretty nasty boating accident and something, some kind of creature or some

[01:06:49] kind of sightings down the way is at another site.

[01:06:56] The place is called Crooked Lake.

[01:06:59] And as you're bleeding out you're like, wait, Crooked Lake, I saw that on the Google Maps.

[01:07:03] It's just like 10 minutes down the way.

[01:07:06] I'm out of here.

[01:07:09] Don't you die yet.

[01:07:10] You're slapping around.

[01:07:12] Here's some smell of salt.

[01:07:14] Mhmm.

[01:07:16] Mama, I'm coming mama.

[01:07:19] Don't fool yourself, you'll be back at 2d6 rounds.

[01:07:23] Oh god, I'm not going to be still alive.

[01:07:27] Yeah, you're going to go home after this, you're right.

[01:07:38] Okay.

[01:07:39] Okay.

[01:07:41] Um...

[01:07:42] Sorry, how far of a drive away is that?

[01:07:46] About 10 minutes.

[01:07:48] I'm going to go to prayer of healing away.

[01:07:49] So I get 1d4 plus 3?

[01:07:52] No, I'm doing prayer of healing which is 2d8 plus my spell modifier that I roll for.

[01:07:58] Okay.

[01:08:00] Um...

[01:08:00] So yes.

[01:08:02] I mean technically everybody gets it.

[01:08:04] Really?

[01:08:05] Prayer of healing?

[01:08:06] Well it's not just one person.

[01:08:08] No, I don't believe so.

[01:08:11] I mean it makes sense.

[01:08:12] I just didn't write down if it was 1 or not because there's a tiny place to put information here.

[01:08:18] Is anybody else injured?

[01:08:19] No.

[01:08:19] I didn't think so.

[01:08:20] I have 8.

[01:08:21] I'm down 8, so I can take some of it.

[01:08:23] Oh.

[01:08:25] Yeah, it's low.

[01:08:26] You ever take 10 minutes?

[01:08:27] Okay.

[01:08:34] Uh...

[01:08:35] 12?

[01:08:36] Hey, that's pretty good.

[01:08:37] Yeah.

[01:08:38] So we still have to decide what the hell we're going to do with this giant sea serpent.

[01:08:41] Mm-hmm.

[01:08:42] Yeah.

[01:08:44] The one that you guys just...

[01:08:45] Wait, this is a gas station, right?

[01:08:46] Yeah.

[01:08:47] Oh, just down the way, yeah.

[01:08:48] It's like...

[01:08:51] Drag it to the gas station.

[01:08:53] Yeah.

[01:08:54] Light her up.

[01:08:55] I mean, everybody's still passed out, right?

[01:08:57] Or should be still passed out, right?

[01:08:58] Uh-huh.

[01:09:00] Maybe you may want to go in and check, make sure that you guys also didn't like knock

[01:09:04] out a manager or store clerk that's in there.

[01:09:06] Yeah, probably.

[01:09:07] Some people...

[01:09:08] If he's the store clerk at a gas station in rural Newfoundland, he's probably happy

[01:09:12] for death.

[01:09:14] He's just like...

[01:09:15] He's here right before the...

[01:09:17] Right before it all goes up, he's like, fine.

[01:09:19] Up to six creatures of your choice.

[01:09:21] Oh, nice.

[01:09:22] Cool.

[01:09:23] I'm going to write that down.

[01:09:24] Okay.

[01:09:24] Heal the serpent.

[01:09:25] Oh, no!

[01:09:27] You want to interrogate him?

[01:09:30] Yeah, speak with animals, right?

[01:09:38] Okay, so you guys are going to grab a chain, I guess, and just drag this thing

[01:09:42] down, like...

[01:09:43] I guess, yeah.

[01:09:44] Mm-hmm.

[01:09:45] Okay.

[01:09:47] All right.

[01:09:48] Okay.

[01:09:49] All right.

[01:09:49] I'm just going to roll something to see how much of it you bring, how much of it falls

[01:09:56] apart as you're just chaining it to...

[01:10:00] Hold on.

[01:10:00] About 80%.

[01:10:02] About 8% of it makes it to the gas station as you've got it hooked to a chain behind the

[01:10:09] van.

[01:10:10] Okay.

[01:10:11] Okay.

[01:10:14] Um...

[01:10:14] Yeah.

[01:10:15] This just doesn't seem like a very smart idea, but...

[01:10:19] What's the other option?

[01:10:20] Exactly!

[01:10:21] Dunk it in the lake?

[01:10:22] Like...

[01:10:23] Yeah, it's not like it's going to sink.

[01:10:24] We can't, like, cast it in concrete.

[01:10:27] Yeah, there's rivers here, so...

[01:10:31] Yeah.

[01:10:32] So I guess we'll, uh...

[01:10:34] I think we need to invest in some means to deal with...

[01:10:38] Perhaps next game you can try and requisition a helicopter.

[01:10:43] And by requisitioning it, they'll want you to do a quest to do it, to get the helicopter.

[01:10:47] I think we just need a flamethrower.

[01:10:49] That too, yeah.

[01:10:50] That would also be quite useful, yeah?

[01:10:52] Yeah, actually.

[01:10:53] So, um...

[01:10:55] Merit, I'm not really, um...

[01:10:58] I mean, I could cantrip firebolt at it all day.

[01:11:00] So could I.

[01:11:01] But we also have four more to take care of.

[01:11:09] Um...

[01:11:09] I guess our only idea is to douse this thing in gasoline and light it on fire.

[01:11:17] We're just cording it off, deal with it later.

[01:11:23] I mean, yeah, I guess.

[01:11:24] Just put it with the other one?

[01:11:26] Start collecting the bodies.

[01:11:27] That's all the way back, like, 30 minutes away.

[01:11:30] Oh, so put up more caution tape here.

[01:11:33] Yeah.

[01:11:34] Okay.

[01:11:35] Yeah, I guess.

[01:11:37] Yeah.

[01:11:38] Because it would take us a little while to do all that.

[01:11:41] Which...

[01:11:41] They're getting further away killing more people.

[01:11:43] And then it's still gonna leave the bones.

[01:11:45] You could try, like...

[01:11:47] You could contact either the Templar or your boss Jack.

[01:11:51] See, like, if they have, like, some kind of cleanup team or something.

[01:11:54] Yeah, just tell them, like, we're leaving a trail of massive corpses here.

[01:11:58] Oh!

[01:11:59] No, I got this.

[01:11:59] And they probably want something out of the bodies, right?

[01:12:01] They want something out of the bodies anyway.

[01:12:03] Yeah.

[01:12:05] Who's head of the school?

[01:12:07] Oh, what's his name?

[01:12:10] Um...

[01:12:11] Not Patonians.

[01:12:12] What the hell is his name?

[01:12:14] Montau?

[01:12:14] Montauk?

[01:12:16] Montauk?

[01:12:17] Yeah, that sounds like a...

[01:12:18] That sounds like a certain project from the US government.

[01:12:20] Did he have a chair?

[01:12:22] Modauk?

[01:12:23] Give me a second.

[01:12:24] I'll pull up the...

[01:12:27] Where is...

[01:12:35] Solomon Island.

[01:12:36] There we go.

[01:12:36] No, no.

[01:12:39] Fuck yous.

[01:12:53] Okay.

[01:12:53] There's Professor...

[01:12:54] There's Mr.

[01:12:55] There's Professor Montag.

[01:12:57] Okay.

[01:12:58] And I will pull out my phone and look for Professor Montag in my phone.

[01:13:03] Okay.

[01:13:04] Make a quick phone call.

[01:13:06] I'm here trying to...

[01:13:07] It's probably just gonna end up...

[01:13:08] Jeffrey Combs?

[01:13:09] Yeah, I was like, how the hell do I do a Jeffrey Combs?

[01:13:11] It's just gonna devolve into a Petonius.

[01:13:15] You have to do Commander Shran.

[01:13:17] Yeah.

[01:13:18] It's like...

[01:13:19] I can't...

[01:13:20] I can't do it.

[01:13:20] I'm not good enough.

[01:13:23] Innsmouth Academy, this is Professor Montag.

[01:13:26] I can help you.

[01:13:27] Montag!

[01:13:28] Hi!

[01:13:28] It's Blackstone.

[01:13:30] Ah!

[01:13:31] Blackstone.

[01:13:32] Blackstone.

[01:13:33] Yes!

[01:13:34] Jacob-like.

[01:13:35] Jacob!

[01:13:35] Middle of your class.

[01:13:36] Didn't stand out in any way whatsoever.

[01:13:39] Oh, I never forget a face.

[01:13:41] I thought I told you not to call me.

[01:13:43] I thought you knew I hated you.

[01:13:46] I was like, you were on a Skype call with him and he can't see his face.

[01:13:50] No, no, no.

[01:13:50] Like, alright, yeah, I guess I could be on a Skype call.

[01:13:52] So, um...

[01:13:54] I got this problem that you might want to solve.

[01:13:59] Uh-oh.

[01:14:00] So, uh...

[01:14:01] We got this...

[01:14:03] As he turns his phone around...

[01:14:05] Yes.

[01:14:05] To point it at the creature's body.

[01:14:08] The giant eel serpent thing.

[01:14:09] Okay.

[01:14:10] Ah!

[01:14:11] One of the, uh...

[01:14:12] The Cressius Maximus.

[01:14:14] Yes.

[01:14:14] Uh...

[01:14:15] How do you, uh...

[01:14:16] Feel about, um...

[01:14:17] Taking possession of it for, uh...

[01:14:21] Research purposes?

[01:14:22] Hmm.

[01:14:23] Well, the condition...

[01:14:24] By the looks of the condition of it, uh...

[01:14:27] The...

[01:14:28] The components that we usually harvest from such creatures is probably...

[01:14:34] It's probably salvageable, um...

[01:14:37] Well, there's gonna be four more.

[01:14:39] Oh?

[01:14:40] Splendid!

[01:14:42] Um...

[01:14:42] I...

[01:14:42] I could, uh...

[01:14:44] If you can keep them in a little bit better condition than that one, uh...

[01:14:47] I can make no guarantees for using a browning 50 cal.

[01:14:52] Oh!

[01:14:53] Oh!

[01:14:53] Why be a wizard when you can browning?

[01:14:55] Yeah.

[01:14:56] Very well, uh...

[01:14:57] Well, I mean, if you can, um...

[01:15:00] Uh...

[01:15:00] Well, actually, if you can, uh...

[01:15:02] Yes, if, uh...

[01:15:03] If, uh...

[01:15:03] If you can stake, uh...

[01:15:06] Stake the, uh...

[01:15:06] Stake the spot, or, like, send us, uh, coordinates of where they're killed, uh...

[01:15:12] We may be able to send some teams in to, uh...

[01:15:14] To extract the bodies for...

[01:15:16] For harvesting.

[01:15:17] Okay, I'll go take a selfie.

[01:15:19] With a, uh...

[01:15:20] Metadata added to it.

[01:15:21] With, um...

[01:15:23] A geocache tag.

[01:15:24] Yeah.

[01:15:25] And send that to them.

[01:15:26] Like, you should really be here to pick it up within the next 10 to 20 minutes.

[01:15:30] Because otherwise, um...

[01:15:33] The normies might find it.

[01:15:35] Ah, okay.

[01:15:36] Well, uh...

[01:15:36] Set up some tape around it, and, uh...

[01:15:38] We'll get some of the...

[01:15:39] Some of the, uh...

[01:15:40] First grades...

[01:15:41] Some first-level students, uh...

[01:15:43] Set up some portals.

[01:15:44] Perfect.

[01:15:44] First grade students.

[01:15:46] First level.

[01:15:47] First level.

[01:15:47] First grade students.

[01:15:48] Some little baby.

[01:15:51] Don't worry, we got this.

[01:15:55] It's Magic University.

[01:15:56] It's not Magic Publishing.

[01:15:59] Yeah.

[01:15:59] I meant, like, first level.

[01:16:01] I understand.

[01:16:01] Like, yeah.

[01:16:02] Uh...

[01:16:03] Freshmen.

[01:16:04] Yeah, freshmen.

[01:16:04] Yeah, we'll get some freshmen to, uh...

[01:16:06] To start, uh...

[01:16:07] The ones that know the portals the best, and we'll get some things in here.

[01:16:10] Okay.

[01:16:11] Alright, and I will send you geotags for the other locations when we have them.

[01:16:15] Splendid.

[01:16:16] Do us proud.

[01:16:17] Uh...

[01:16:17] Blackwood.

[01:16:19] Blackwood.

[01:16:20] Blackwood.

[01:16:21] Son of a bitch.

[01:16:22] That'd be a good idea to take a selfie whenever we kill something big.

[01:16:25] Just in case we need that data, the location data to send to someone.

[01:16:29] Fair.

[01:16:29] Because now we have to go back there.

[01:16:31] Yeah.

[01:16:32] To the first one?

[01:16:33] Yeah.

[01:16:33] No.

[01:16:34] It's eaten, remember?

[01:16:35] It's eaten.

[01:16:35] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[01:16:36] Covered up.

[01:16:37] That's true.

[01:16:38] It's been effectively covered up.

[01:16:40] The bones, though.

[01:16:42] There were canines there.

[01:16:43] They chewed through bones.

[01:16:46] Eh, I guess.

[01:16:48] In shape or order, I guess we'll find out.

[01:16:48] I feel like that there were enough rodents and canines present that it will have been,

[01:16:54] like, ripped to pieces and scattered everywhere.

[01:16:56] No one's gonna know what it was.

[01:16:59] Just that it was huge.

[01:17:00] Just that whatever it was was big.

[01:17:02] Yeah.

[01:17:03] I didn't know if someone's not.

[01:17:04] It'll help increase the local legend.

[01:17:07] Yep.

[01:17:09] Like, as it is, these creatures are, like, the creatures at Crescent Lake are known as

[01:17:13] like a, sort of an urban legend, so.

[01:17:17] But, uh, yeah.

[01:17:18] Okay, so you guys, um, hop back into the van, into the master machine, or the mastering machine,

[01:17:26] and, uh, start heading back, or continuing down the Trans-Canada Highway to, uh, Crooked Lake.

[01:17:31] Um, and as you're approaching Crooked Lake, like, you see some signs and stuff of that,

[01:17:35] so, like, uh, like a little, like, not, like a community billboard kind of thing, or a community sign.

[01:17:40] Uh, and you see, oh shit, it's a lot of nice houses on lake, on lakefront.

[01:17:46] Uh, and, um, yeah, you're starting to hear some screams, um, and some, uh, some kind of, uh, disturbance or activity on the water, uh, behind, like, kind of, you can't see the water exactly because there's all these nice, like, not McMansions, but, like, nicer, like, kind of cottage homes along the lake.

[01:18:03] But you're definitely hearing screams of people and some kind of large commotion in the water behind us.

[01:18:09] This sounds like a gas leak, but it needs to happen.

[01:18:12] I can't do this to another group of people.

[01:18:15] I can do individuals.

[01:18:16] I can gaslight individuals.

[01:18:18] I cannot gaslight another group.

[01:18:20] Why?

[01:18:21] It's, it's limited to once per short, uh, to once per long rest.

[01:18:26] Oh, okay.

[01:18:27] Yeah.

[01:18:28] That doesn't mean we can't just bullshit a roll.

[01:18:30] You just can't do it awesome.

[01:18:32] It's a complete gas leak.

[01:18:33] Yeah.

[01:18:36] It actually has to be something somewhat plausible.

[01:18:39] Mm-hmm.

[01:18:40] Can't have witnesses.

[01:18:41] There aren't any survivors.

[01:18:43] That, there's a lot of homes.

[01:18:45] A lot, like, I don't know if you, like, I mean, what did you say about being able to cast firebolt all day?

[01:18:52] Yeah.

[01:18:53] Might, might not be a lot of homes for long.

[01:18:56] What year does this take place in?

[01:18:57] 2023.

[01:18:59] There were an awful lot of forest fires this year.

[01:19:02] Yeah, that's true.

[01:19:03] Actually, yeah.

[01:19:04] Yeah.

[01:19:05] Actually, like, may actually be having a, uh, one of those, the pop up in one of, in a future scenario.

[01:19:10] Like, like that whole, like the deal of, of forest fires in Canada.

[01:19:13] So, um, but yeah, um, so as you, yeah, you pull in and, uh, yeah, there's like at least like two or three dozen homes on the, on the lake shore.

[01:19:23] Um, and they're screaming in the, on the water behind those homes.

[01:19:26] So, what do you guys do?

[01:19:29] Cutting through a yard and driving between a couple of houses to get back there ASAP?

[01:19:33] Probably.

[01:19:33] I guess so, yeah.

[01:19:34] Okay.

[01:19:34] Uh, who's driving? You, uh, there?

[01:19:36] Yeah, that's me.

[01:19:37] Okay, uh, why don't you roll me a, um, I guess this would be a wisdom.

[01:19:43] Pilot land vehicle?

[01:19:44] Yeah, what would be, yeah, what would the pilot land vehicle be?

[01:19:47] Uh, is it dexterity or based on my vision?

[01:19:50] I think there's actually a skill in this, isn't there something?

[01:19:52] No, it's not.

[01:19:53] Well, I, I mean, land vehicle is a proficiency you can have.

[01:19:56] Yeah, so you can use it.

[01:19:57] But it depends on whether you want it to be a dexterity-based check or a, uh, a, um, perception-based check.

[01:20:03] I'd, I'd go for dexterity.

[01:20:05] Okay.

[01:20:05] Like, it's, cause it's gonna be a bit of a rough ride as you're running through it, like crashing through some things.

[01:20:12] Uh, 17 plus 3 is 20, plus proficiency, so 22.

[01:20:17] Okay, you, yeah, you're, you're weaving through, like, some, uh, some, like, middle to nicer sized homes and stuff like properties and stuff.

[01:20:23] You're going, you're weaving past, like, certain ornaments and stuff on the lawn.

[01:20:26] Kid on a trike.

[01:20:28] Uh, you, you, like, there's, just happens to be a, an open gate to the front, or to the lake side of the, of the property and you magically go right through.

[01:20:36] Somebody had a bicycle ramp up and I used that to go over their pool.

[01:20:39] Again, just GTAing it completely.

[01:20:41] Yeah.

[01:20:42] There's just random jumps everywhere.

[01:20:44] And then there's a stupid chain link fence and that's what I got hung up on.

[01:20:48] Yeah.

[01:20:49] At least you hit an orange stand, a fruit stand right before that though.

[01:20:53] Yes.

[01:20:53] Yes, thankfully.

[01:20:54] Oh, my cabbages!

[01:20:56] Uh, and as you pull in, you, uh, you land, so you're on, uh, you, you kind of pull in to the lake side, uh, sort of pretty open, like, kind of, uh, like lawns out here.

[01:21:05] They go all the way up to the, of the, the beach.

[01:21:08] It looks like there's a narrow, this is a narrows.

[01:21:10] Like, there's, like, a wider lake, uh, on the north and then there's, like, a wider lake on the south and then there's just, like, this choke point.

[01:21:16] And that's where there's, like, you see a bunch of, like, overturned boats, people panically trying to get away in the water.

[01:21:22] Some people just, like, going under suddenly sharply.

[01:21:25] Um, there's, uh, some people on a raft, uh, that are cowering in fear and screaming.

[01:21:30] Uh, people are looking around on, like, the shorelines and some of that.

[01:21:32] And then out of the water, these giant, the giant black leviathans leap out.

[01:21:37] Three of them.

[01:21:38] Um, just kind of, like, open their, like, like, like, like, like, come out of the water and start, like, going after certain, like, people and some of that in the water.

[01:21:48] So, yeah.

[01:21:50] Yeah, good luck working your way through this one, guys.

[01:21:56] Pull the handbrake.

[01:21:57] I'm sorry, don't you like challenges in your games?

[01:22:00] I'm having a pack of fire.

[01:22:02] Yeah, pretty much.

[01:22:03] What?

[01:22:04] Suppressing fire.

[01:22:06] Just open it up with a 50.

[01:22:07] Knock them.

[01:22:08] Okay.

[01:22:09] There's three of them.

[01:22:10] Like, yeah.

[01:22:12] So you can get them all out for ya.

[01:22:15] I don't feel a punch through all of them.

[01:22:18] They're very big.

[01:22:20] There's a lot of meat to go through.

[01:22:22] Okay.

[01:22:23] There's a lot of bullet to go through with.

[01:22:24] Mm-hmm.

[01:22:25] Uh, TNT.

[01:22:28] And, let's see, what do we got here?

[01:22:32] So this is going to be another initiative, I guess.

[01:22:34] For this.

[01:22:37] Yeah, two of them again, because I won't let you last time.

[01:22:41] Should we get first shot, or just straight?

[01:22:43] I'll let you get one shot, and then it's going to be seven again.

[01:22:48] Dang.

[01:22:50] But just for, like, now, just get, like...

[01:22:52] Mm-hmm.

[01:22:59] How close did we get?

[01:23:00] Hm?

[01:23:01] You got to the shoreline.

[01:23:02] So they're about, like, 40, 50 feet off the water.

[01:23:04] Like, in the water.

[01:23:05] Okay.

[01:23:09] I got 19.

[01:23:11] Uh, okay.

[01:23:13] Uh, you'll be going before this Cressy then.

[01:23:16] I just rolled a 19 as well.

[01:23:19] So John got 19.

[01:23:21] There are freshwater sharks, right?

[01:23:24] Yeah.

[01:23:25] Yeah.

[01:23:25] There's sharks that go up from, uh, all the way from the ocean up to, uh, like, into the

[01:23:29] rivers of, uh, Jersey Shore.

[01:23:32] And I imagine those rivers are probably...

[01:23:34] Why would they want to go there?

[01:23:36] Apparently there are more, there are more shark attacks in Jersey Shore.

[01:23:39] So we're looking for a little Snooki Snooki.

[01:23:42] Uh, what's your initiative there, uh, Aaron?

[01:23:46] I hadn't rolled it.

[01:23:47] I'm sorry.

[01:23:48] Okay.

[01:23:49] I'll kill you later.

[01:23:51] Natural 20.

[01:23:52] Okay.

[01:23:53] Well, you're, okay.

[01:23:54] You're on.

[01:23:56] First then...

[01:23:56] So what do you like them to do?

[01:23:58] This, wow, this really is first Jacob, then John, then Marcel.

[01:24:03] It's the same order.

[01:24:04] Except for the, there's some Cressys in between you and Marcel.

[01:24:07] Um, okay, so, uh, yeah, for, so you can, uh, you guys can get a surprise attack on, um,

[01:24:12] cause they don't know your, they're, they're a little preoccupied with the, with the buffet.

[01:24:16] Okay.

[01:24:17] So roll a hit?

[01:24:18] Yeah.

[01:24:19] How close are we?

[01:24:20] Uh, you're about 40 or 50 feet away.

[01:24:22] Okay.

[01:24:26] Uh, roll a DC 14 deck save.

[01:24:30] What?

[01:24:30] Sir, what?

[01:24:31] Sir, I, I, I just like, what are you doing?

[01:24:34] You stuttered.

[01:24:34] What?

[01:24:35] You, uh, are we not all gonna get a surprise attack?

[01:24:37] Yeah, you guys are all gonna surprise attack.

[01:24:38] Oh, yeah.

[01:24:39] Okay.

[01:24:39] Yeah, cause there's three monsters, there's three of you guys.

[01:24:42] Yes.

[01:24:43] Okay.

[01:24:43] And they're all preoccupied with the, so yeah, uh, so...

[01:24:46] DC 14 deck save.

[01:24:48] Oh, right, yeah.

[01:24:49] Okay, 14, oh that's what we're going to do.

[01:24:50] Sorry, for some reason I just like, I completely like, just disconnected for a second.

[01:24:55] 11.

[01:24:56] Okay.

[01:24:57] You take...7 damage.

[01:25:00] Radiant.

[01:25:01] Okay.

[01:25:08] This is not gonna go well.

[01:25:10] This may be...

[01:25:12] The final ride of the Mastery Machine.

[01:25:15] A little bit.

[01:25:16] It's the final count.

[01:25:27] Alright.

[01:25:28] Uh, what'd you get there?

[01:25:29] Alright, I gotta roll a, uh, dex, 21.

[01:25:33] I'm gonna roll a 1.

[01:25:34] Awesome.

[01:25:36] Um, and...

[01:25:37] Wait, was that also 21?

[01:25:43] It was also 21 damage.

[01:25:45] 21 damage?

[01:25:46] Yes.

[01:25:46] Damn.

[01:25:47] To the one that he shot.

[01:25:48] Okay.

[01:25:49] Unless you want us to do one of each.

[01:25:51] Then I'll happily do that.

[01:25:52] No, no, that's fine.

[01:25:53] Focus fire!

[01:25:54] Yep.

[01:25:55] Um, he rolled a nat 1 on that.

[01:25:58] Should he, should that actually give him more, like, take more damage?

[01:26:01] I feel like it should be double damage.

[01:26:03] Yeah.

[01:26:04] Should I be nice in this?

[01:26:05] Yeah, I think, I think if he rolls a natural 1 on that save...

[01:26:11] Okay, I'm gonna say that one gets pelted pretty hard.

[01:26:13] Like, you get him in some juicier spots.

[01:26:16] Exactly.

[01:26:17] He hit the red spots.

[01:26:18] Yeah.

[01:26:18] Yep.

[01:26:18] His mouth was open.

[01:26:19] Yeah, as he was like about to chomp down on some like screaming woman in a bikini.

[01:26:23] Mm-hmm.

[01:26:24] Cause there's a couple of those in the water as well as some guys in shorts and...

[01:26:28] So yeah, just it's a mess.

[01:26:30] It's bad.

[01:26:32] As long as it wasn't a dude in a himbo shirt.

[01:26:35] There's one of them there.

[01:26:36] Yeah, there's one guy on.

[01:26:37] He's on the raft.

[01:26:38] We're playing Diablo 4.

[01:26:41] Yeah.

[01:26:42] With Barret, my character wears a himbo shirt.

[01:26:45] His v-neck all the way down.

[01:26:48] Oh, so it's the v-neck.

[01:26:49] So it's a banana hat.

[01:26:51] It opens up in the middle.

[01:26:52] Yeah.

[01:26:53] So there's a little bit of a collar and then it just kind of diamonds down.

[01:26:58] So it's just straps.

[01:26:59] Yeah, pretty much.

[01:27:00] But I am a...

[01:27:01] Like my character is a dude.

[01:27:04] And that's the shirt they went with.

[01:27:05] So it is like the most himbo shirt ever.

[01:27:08] What class is this guy?

[01:27:10] Okay.

[01:27:11] Is that your starting armor?

[01:27:13] Um, not my starting starting armor, but yeah.

[01:27:16] It was a legendary item.

[01:27:18] Yeah, it was a legendary item.

[01:27:20] Okay.

[01:27:20] Alright.

[01:27:21] So what's Jacob doing on your surprise attack?

[01:27:25] I am shooting it with my gunniest of guns.

[01:27:28] The Tokarev.

[01:27:29] The Tokarev.

[01:27:30] Alright.

[01:27:31] Okay.

[01:27:31] And I had rolled really awesome and then you bumped the table and now it's an 8.

[01:27:39] 8 plus 3.

[01:27:43] So 11.

[01:27:44] That doesn't hit.

[01:27:47] Sorry.

[01:27:48] Kick deck.

[01:27:50] You want to already roll it?

[01:27:51] No.

[01:27:53] I...

[01:27:54] You can put it back on.

[01:27:57] I tried.

[01:27:58] Okay.

[01:27:58] So now we're at the top of the round.

[01:28:00] Jacob.

[01:28:01] You're back.

[01:28:01] Okay.

[01:28:02] Alright.

[01:28:04] Oh.

[01:28:05] What the hell am I doing?

[01:28:07] I'm holstering my gun as I run to the water.

[01:28:10] Yeah.

[01:28:10] How far is the water?

[01:28:12] Like 10 feet away.

[01:28:14] Fantastic.

[01:28:14] You managed to get all the way to like this.

[01:28:17] Fantastic indeed because I dive in and now I'm a shark.

[01:28:21] Oh, okay.

[01:28:22] Nice.

[01:28:22] Right.

[01:28:23] I forgot you can be animals.

[01:28:24] I can be animals.

[01:28:28] And yeah.

[01:28:29] Yeah.

[01:28:29] I'm going to go after the nearest one as a shark.

[01:28:32] Alright.

[01:28:32] That's pretty sweet.

[01:28:36] Dave wept up.

[01:28:37] You should be killing well.

[01:28:38] It's shark week.

[01:28:38] Okay.

[01:28:40] Also Dave, pray that you never get a one on your roll from the gun because then those bullets

[01:28:48] are over him.

[01:28:49] Or the civilians.

[01:28:50] Or the civilians.

[01:28:51] Yeah.

[01:28:51] That's also what's happening.

[01:28:52] Or jam.

[01:28:53] Whatever.

[01:28:53] No, it's never going to be a jam.

[01:28:55] It's always going to be like casualties.

[01:28:57] Great.

[01:28:58] I love it.

[01:29:00] Okay.

[01:29:00] That's a 22 to hit.

[01:29:02] That'll hit.

[01:29:02] Okay.

[01:29:05] Are you attacking the one that's being riddled by bullets or one of the fresh ones?

[01:29:08] Uh, I guess riddled by bullets.

[01:29:11] I will help take it down as quickly as possible.

[01:29:14] You can smell its blood in the water.

[01:29:16] Yeah.

[01:29:16] Exactly.

[01:29:17] They're chumming it for you.

[01:29:19] Alright.

[01:29:20] So that'll be 9 damage.

[01:29:22] Okay.

[01:29:24] It's something...

[01:29:25] It's about what I contribute all the time.

[01:29:29] You do safe damage all the time.

[01:29:32] Is there any way I can call in airstrike?

[01:29:33] Somebody could call and see if they can make a favor with Templars or Jack.

[01:29:37] Jack probably wouldn't want it but the Templar might do it.

[01:29:39] An airstrike would kill all the civilians that we're trying to save here.

[01:29:42] And then there weren't any witnesses.

[01:29:46] It was a natural seismic activity.

[01:29:48] I think we should call in an EMP strike though, fry everybody's phones.

[01:29:53] Mmm.

[01:29:54] Yeah.

[01:29:54] We got the ion cannon.

[01:29:57] The giant boom gun.

[01:29:58] That can be somebody's roll.

[01:30:00] On somebody's turn they can make a call.

[01:30:03] I certainly can't.

[01:30:04] I don't have a possible phone.

[01:30:05] You definitely can't.

[01:30:07] Your phone's merged into you though.

[01:30:11] Yeah.

[01:30:12] Yeah.

[01:30:12] The sign of the van and call somebody.

[01:30:14] It's just like...

[01:30:14] Yeah, you just call your military...

[01:30:16] You call the Phoenicians like, drop a nuke.

[01:30:22] Don't worry, we'll respawn in 2d4 rounds.

[01:30:29] Oh, if you just bomb the place, your bodies would be completely unrecoverable.

[01:30:34] Turns out you guys are ending up in Nagartha.

[01:30:36] Yeah, we'll just show up naked in Nagartha, that's all.

[01:30:38] No, we're not...

[01:30:39] You guys manifest all your gear.

[01:30:41] Yeah, okay.

[01:30:42] Yeah.

[01:30:42] Not gonna be that much of a dick.

[01:30:44] But, John, you're up.

[01:30:47] I'm shooting with bullets.

[01:30:49] Okay.

[01:30:50] I don't even know why you bother asking.

[01:30:52] Well, I need you to...

[01:30:53] I know, I know.

[01:30:57] I mean, actually, I could...

[01:30:58] Okay.

[01:30:59] How injured does it look?

[01:31:00] Actually, it doesn't matter.

[01:31:01] It looks pretty bad.

[01:31:02] Cool.

[01:31:03] It doesn't matter because I can move it anyways.

[01:31:04] Hunter's Mark.

[01:31:05] So I'm gonna put a Hunter's Mark on it and even if it dies, I can use a bonus action to

[01:31:09] move it over to the next one.

[01:31:10] Okay.

[01:31:10] So, in call.

[01:31:12] Cause I have things I can do while still also shooting Machiniga.

[01:31:16] That is true.

[01:31:17] So, Machiniga.

[01:31:23] That is...

[01:31:24] 24?

[01:31:26] 24.

[01:31:27] Yes.

[01:31:28] 24 is your DC.

[01:31:30] Okay.

[01:31:30] Oh, yeah.

[01:31:31] For your save.

[01:31:32] Yep.

[01:31:35] Yeah, you...

[01:31:37] He's taking the full damage.

[01:31:38] It was a top.

[01:31:45] It's the same color as his.

[01:31:47] This one was spinning like a top.

[01:31:49] It landed on a one, unfortunately.

[01:31:51] That's sad.

[01:31:52] Yeah.

[01:31:57] Did you remember your die eight from your Hunter's Mark?

[01:32:00] No.

[01:32:02] That you just cast.

[01:32:05] One minute ago.

[01:32:06] Not even.

[01:32:12] 34.

[01:32:14] Okay.

[01:32:15] I remembered to use a thing that I have a Talisman for.

[01:32:18] To get more damage.

[01:32:19] That one's hurting real bad.

[01:32:21] Excellent.

[01:32:22] And then it's that one's turn.

[01:32:24] Which Talisman?

[01:32:26] The Ashes of Cities.

[01:32:28] It's a head Talisman I have.

[01:32:32] If I hit an injured enemy, I do one bonus damage.

[01:32:35] It's not much, but it helps.

[01:32:41] Aaron, you're being attacked.

[01:32:42] As the Cressi that is being riddled with bullets, like it's trying to find the closest

[01:32:49] thing that it can to attack, and it sees the shark in the water.

[01:32:52] So it's going to try and bite you.

[01:32:54] And you 15 to hit?

[01:33:05] No.

[01:33:06] Does it meet or beat kind of thing?

[01:33:09] No, I'm good.

[01:33:10] Okay.

[01:33:11] I'm good.

[01:33:11] Sorry, because I have mage armor on, but I'm also a shark.

[01:33:16] Oh, gotcha.

[01:33:17] And the shark doesn't give you the AC breakdown like it did in 3rd edition, so I don't know

[01:33:23] what I stack onto my mage armor, but yeah, it should be fine.

[01:33:26] Okay.

[01:33:27] Well, yeah, so it tries to bite you and it fails, and failing that, it actually whips

[01:33:31] around and tries to just smack you with its tail.

[01:33:33] Okay.

[01:33:34] So, see if it does that.

[01:33:39] Uh...

[01:33:39] 12?

[01:33:41] No.

[01:33:42] Dang it, yeah.

[01:33:43] Alright, so it misses on both accounts with the shark.

[01:33:46] You're too nimble.

[01:33:48] Like you'd make a great aquatic predator.

[01:33:51] I am the aquatic chaos of predators!

[01:33:56] Um...

[01:33:57] And then next up is one of the other Cressys, who is going to make a landfall and go attack

[01:34:02] the two guys that are shooting lots of bullets at him.

[01:34:06] Or at his buddy, so...

[01:34:08] Uh-huh.

[01:34:08] That one's coming up on the water.

[01:34:10] Um, it'll take one of its actions, or like, move action to get to the shore.

[01:34:15] And then, um...

[01:34:18] Just try and like chomp down on a knee.

[01:34:22] Can it get in range in one action?

[01:34:24] It's about 50 feet away.

[01:34:25] It's about 50 feet away.

[01:34:26] They can swim in the water.

[01:34:29] They can move, uh...

[01:34:31] I assumed we parked far enough away that it wouldn't be able to just immediately attack

[01:34:36] the van.

[01:34:36] Yeah, I said they were about 50 feet away from your van.

[01:34:40] Mm-hmm.

[01:34:41] For your shots and stuff like that.

[01:34:43] And about 10 feet away...

[01:34:44] You guys are about 10 feet away from the shoreline.

[01:34:46] Mm-hmm.

[01:34:46] They can swim about 50 feet.

[01:34:48] So...

[01:34:48] Mm-hmm.

[01:34:50] Um...

[01:34:50] I think they charge it, I guess.

[01:34:53] No, he's charging at the van.

[01:34:54] Yep.

[01:34:56] So, uh, yeah.

[01:34:57] Let's just...

[01:35:00] Uh, okay.

[01:35:01] And this one is...

[01:35:04] Gonna basically just kind of like swim...

[01:35:06] Like, it's swimming up the water.

[01:35:08] Comes up on the shoreline, slithers in, and just kind of tries to do like kind of a passing

[01:35:12] slap with its tail against the, uh, the car in the open area where, uh, where, um, John

[01:35:18] is.

[01:35:19] Mm-hmm.

[01:35:20] So, uh, that is gonna be a 28.

[01:35:23] To hit what?

[01:35:24] To hit you.

[01:35:25] To hit the van?

[01:35:26] No, you hit you.

[01:35:27] The van door is open.

[01:35:28] It's like slashing out with its tail.

[01:35:30] It is putting...

[01:35:32] Its tail is going in the open rear doors to hit me?

[01:35:38] Uh...

[01:35:38] I guess you technically under...

[01:35:39] I guess you technically have cover.

[01:35:41] It just smokes the van.

[01:35:43] I'm asking if it's hitting the van to knock it over, or if it's doing a thrust attack

[01:35:47] with its tail.

[01:35:47] Actually, I guess it would make more sense for it to try and like, push the van over.

[01:35:50] So it's gonna try and push the van over, I guess.

[01:35:54] So...

[01:35:54] I don't know.

[01:35:55] Just gotta double check something here.

[01:35:56] Yeah, this thing's pretty strong too, fuck.

[01:36:00] Um...

[01:36:00] Yeah, it's...

[01:36:02] That van's tipping over.

[01:36:03] I figured as much.

[01:36:04] It rolled pretty well.

[01:36:05] Yeah.

[01:36:06] So yeah, it comes basically barreling at the van and just tips it.

[01:36:10] Mm-hmm.

[01:36:11] Like just like kind of smacks into it to the side and just kind of slithes around it and

[01:36:14] then coils.

[01:36:15] It comes up and he gently tips it, like cow tipping.

[01:36:17] Yeah.

[01:36:18] Yeah, totally.

[01:36:19] So it's on its side.

[01:36:19] You guys need to make acrobatics chests to not get hurt or not be prone.

[01:36:33] Acrobatics?

[01:36:33] Yep.

[01:36:34] That's not good.

[01:36:38] Eighteen.

[01:36:39] Eighteen.

[01:36:39] Okay, you're fine.

[01:36:46] I rolled an eighteen.

[01:36:48] Then you're gonna be fine.

[01:36:49] Yeah.

[01:36:50] Yeah.

[01:36:50] So you guys, you managed to like basically...

[01:36:52] I'm hanging on to the gun.

[01:36:52] Yeah, holding onto it and but imagine like as it like crashes you like kind of braced and

[01:36:57] then like flopped down so you didn't like go hitting anything or like getting crushed

[01:37:01] under anything.

[01:37:02] So...

[01:37:02] Okay.

[01:37:03] You used the handles of the gun to kind of hold yourself.

[01:37:05] No.

[01:37:06] As it rotated, you just kept it on target and kept firing.

[01:37:10] Yeah.

[01:37:11] I mean, I don't know how that would work for the...

[01:37:13] The gun's technically is now like looking at the sky, isn't it?

[01:37:17] No.

[01:37:17] No?

[01:37:18] You rolled the van over on its side.

[01:37:20] Yeah.

[01:37:20] So it could still shoot out the back.

[01:37:23] Right.

[01:37:23] Yeah, sorry.

[01:37:23] Horizontal.

[01:37:24] Yeah, I forgot.

[01:37:25] For some reason I thought it was from the side.

[01:37:27] If he slapped the end of it and spun it, that would be a thing.

[01:37:31] That'd be...

[01:37:31] I'd be facing the wrong way but he tipped it over.

[01:37:33] Yeah.

[01:37:34] So no, I just flipped it.

[01:37:35] Yeah.

[01:37:35] Alright, so that's what he's doing.

[01:37:38] So next up is Marcel.

[01:37:42] Yeah.

[01:37:42] Marcel, you're up.

[01:37:46] I'm gonna make a phone call.

[01:37:47] Okay.

[01:37:48] I would like to phone a friend.

[01:37:50] Yeah.

[01:37:51] To...

[01:37:51] Who are you gonna call?

[01:37:52] Lifeline?

[01:37:52] Who are you gonna call?

[01:37:54] Ghostbusters?

[01:37:55] Yeah.

[01:37:55] Make a charisma check.

[01:37:56] See how many friends you actually have.

[01:38:00] Uh...

[01:38:00] I'm gonna call Templar HQ.

[01:38:03] Okay.

[01:38:03] You get Richard.

[01:38:04] Or Mr. Sonic.

[01:38:06] How long does he have to wait on hold?

[01:38:07] You got to have a dick?

[01:38:09] Yeah.

[01:38:10] He takes my calls right away.

[01:38:11] Yeah.

[01:38:12] I don't call him too often.

[01:38:14] It's like, uh...

[01:38:16] What's your last name?

[01:38:18] Landry.

[01:38:19] Ah, Mr. Landry.

[01:38:20] How good to see...

[01:38:21] How good to hear from you.

[01:38:22] What is that I can do for you?

[01:38:24] Sir, I need an audience friend.

[01:38:25] Fire!

[01:38:26] Ah!

[01:38:27] This is happening.

[01:38:28] Sorry, I couldn't hear you.

[01:38:28] Or some buffalo...

[01:38:29] What's going on?

[01:38:30] I need an orbital strike on my location immediately.

[01:38:34] Orbital strike?

[01:38:36] Air support.

[01:38:37] Whatever the hell you got.

[01:38:38] I got three Cressi in front of me that are eating everybody.

[01:38:42] Roll a, uh, persuasion.

[01:38:46] I'm not good at that either.

[01:38:49] Twelve?

[01:38:51] Twelve.

[01:38:52] Okay.

[01:38:55] Uh, well, um...

[01:38:56] I mean, you're not currently in our jurisdiction.

[01:38:59] Uh...

[01:39:00] Did you just try to call an air strike on us?

[01:39:02] We're still here!

[01:39:04] We could do this, but, uh...

[01:39:05] We could, uh...

[01:39:07] We could help you out, but, uh...

[01:39:08] We may have to call in a favor.

[01:39:10] Uh, or you may have to...

[01:39:12] We have some, uh, some missions, uh, that, uh...

[01:39:14] Uh, no one's been picking up.

[01:39:15] We may have to have you do them.

[01:39:17] Um, after...

[01:39:18] After this.

[01:39:20] I will suck whatever dick needs to be sucked.

[01:39:22] You're the only thing to get me out of this shit.

[01:39:26] All right, uh, well, don't, don't...

[01:39:28] In that case, all right!

[01:39:30] No vulgarities, please.

[01:39:31] Um, but, uh, we'll, we'll, uh, we'll have a, we'll have an attack chopper, uh, uh, airbound, uh, from St. Pierre, and, uh, it'll be arriving in about, uh, it'll be arriving shortly.

[01:39:45] So, I'm gonna make a roll and see how long, how many rounds it's gonna take.

[01:39:48] 30 minutes later, it's a gas up the chopper.

[01:39:51] Uh, so, from St. Pierre, if they launch immediately...

[01:39:54] It's about 400 nautical miles, they'll be here in an hour and a half.

[01:39:58] Yeah, no, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be nice, like, they'll have one, they have one nearby or something like that.

[01:40:02] They have something nearby.

[01:40:04] As far as 71.

[01:40:06] Just, just cruising around.

[01:40:08] Just kamikazes directly into the goddient.

[01:40:12] Okay, so, uh, yeah, like, they'll, that, that, sorry, he doesn't see how, I know, he's like, we'll, uh, we'll, uh,

[01:40:18] We have, uh, we have, uh, something in the, in the region.

[01:40:20] We'll, uh, we'll have it veer over to your, your, uh, coordinates.

[01:40:23] So, send us, send us your coordinates and we'll, we'll, uh, get in and, uh, you may want to take cover when you hear the, the screech.

[01:40:30] That's what you need.

[01:40:31] I just drop a payment in my Apple Maps.

[01:40:33] Okay.

[01:40:33] We need an SR-71.

[01:40:35] Okay, so, you need to get, so you're using your, your phone?

[01:40:38] Yeah.

[01:40:39] You need that phone as close as you possibly can to these things.

[01:40:42] Harrier burns?

[01:40:43] Yeah, from the Harrier jump jet.

[01:40:45] Ooh.

[01:40:45] Cause they'll be targeting bats.

[01:40:47] Oh, you just want an SR-71 that has VTOL cases.

[01:40:50] But you also, you don't know how many rounds they have.

[01:40:52] Yeah, you have to, until that happens.

[01:40:53] So it can be, okay, the X-Jet.

[01:40:55] I'm gonna go get each.

[01:40:56] Yeah.

[01:40:57] Okay.

[01:40:58] Um, so that's what Marcel does.

[01:40:59] So yeah, that's basically your whole thing.

[01:41:00] Yeah.

[01:41:01] Yeah.

[01:41:01] So, uh, next one is, uh, one that's, uh, still fresh out in the water.

[01:41:06] Uh, it's gonna go for the shark that is attacking its friend.

[01:41:08] Okay.

[01:41:11] All right.

[01:41:13] And that is gonna be...

[01:41:15] Just to clarify, which one came after us?

[01:41:17] The one I was sure there's...

[01:41:18] There's three, there's three creatures.

[01:41:20] One that was riddled with bullets, a fresh one that went after you guys, and then another

[01:41:22] fresh one.

[01:41:23] So it is a fresh one.

[01:41:23] Okay.

[01:41:25] Um, this one is going to try and bite the shark with...

[01:41:32] Twenty-one?

[01:41:34] Oh yeah, that'll do it.

[01:41:35] Okay.

[01:41:37] Uh, but...

[01:41:41] Where the hell am I at?

[01:41:55] Twenty-six damage from the bite?

[01:42:00] Is that so?

[01:42:02] Yep.

[01:42:04] Did you just de-shark?

[01:42:06] I did!

[01:42:07] I did de-shark.

[01:42:10] I am now no longer a shark!

[01:42:12] I turned out in the water.

[01:42:14] Uh huh.

[01:42:17] Okay.

[01:42:19] Um...

[01:42:20] It's going poorly.

[01:42:21] Yeah.

[01:42:22] Right, I'm gonna turn into a lady eel.

[01:42:24] Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[01:42:27] Uh, next up actually is Jacob, so your turn.

[01:42:30] Alright, I'm gonna turn into a lady eel.

[01:42:32] I love them.

[01:42:33] I mean, you can't get a fuck much harder.

[01:42:34] Right?

[01:42:36] Um...

[01:42:37] I am in the water.

[01:42:41] Aquatic options are limited.

[01:42:46] I'm gonna turn into a shark.

[01:42:48] Ha ha ha ha!

[01:42:48] Let's do it again.

[01:42:50] You could.

[01:42:51] I can't.

[01:42:52] Oh no.

[01:42:52] I don't have the gumption for that.

[01:42:57] Um...

[01:43:14] Fuck it, I'll give that a shot.

[01:43:15] I'm gonna turn into an octopus.

[01:43:18] Okay.

[01:43:19] Not a giant octopus.

[01:43:20] An octopus.

[01:43:21] Just a regular octopus?

[01:43:22] Okay.

[01:43:22] I'm only about this big.

[01:43:23] That's fair.

[01:43:24] Yeah.

[01:43:25] Um...

[01:43:26] And uh, I'm going to um...

[01:43:29] Ink him?

[01:43:30] I'm gonna ink!

[01:43:32] That's fair.

[01:43:33] That is a thing.

[01:43:34] Uh, I am now in a heavily obscured area for one minute.

[01:43:39] Yep.

[01:43:41] I would say especially the one that was just bit you, I would say would be counted as blind.

[01:43:45] For...

[01:43:45] And now I'm gonna use the uh, my...

[01:43:47] Cause immediately after doing that I can use the dash action as a bonus action.

[01:43:51] So I'm going to use my movement and my dash action to GTFO.

[01:43:57] Okay.

[01:43:58] Uh, try to make my way for the shore.

[01:44:00] Alright.

[01:44:00] Sounds good.

[01:44:02] Um, next up.

[01:44:04] Uh, you'll do that in this round.

[01:44:06] This round.

[01:44:07] Like it's like 40 feet.

[01:44:08] How, like how far can you, can you go in the water?

[01:44:11] Uh, my movement is 30 feet so that'll get me 60 feet.

[01:44:13] Yeah.

[01:44:13] You'll get there, yeah.

[01:44:15] Um, so John.

[01:44:17] Okay, so...

[01:44:18] So you're on your side but you still got the gun pointed.

[01:44:20] Yeah.

[01:44:21] So is my target still in front of me then?

[01:44:24] Like the new one is...

[01:44:25] The new one's next to you guys?

[01:44:26] Yes.

[01:44:27] The one, technically the one next, the one that was uh, you were shooting is still within

[01:44:31] your sights.

[01:44:34] My best course of action might just keep shooting until at least one of them goes down.

[01:44:39] Yeah.

[01:44:39] Keep going on the one you're shooting at.

[01:44:41] I'll take care of the other one.

[01:44:42] I will say, Marcel, actually I will say Marcel, you do see some boats.

[01:44:45] Some like, some uh, some motorboats on the shore.

[01:44:52] Wrong motorboating.

[01:44:53] If just a pair of severed tits just sitting near the beach?

[01:44:58] Ohhhh.

[01:45:01] One really disturbed homeless man.

[01:45:03] I'm called the neck romancer!

[01:45:06] Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

[01:45:10] It's a grodiest of them.

[01:45:13] Anyway.

[01:45:15] Yes.

[01:45:15] So yeah, I'm going to shoot more bullets, see if I can at least take one of these guys

[01:45:19] down before I go down.

[01:45:22] That's fair.

[01:45:23] This ain't going well.

[01:45:26] I really don't think I could do anything else.

[01:45:34] Not really.

[01:45:37] Okay.

[01:45:42] 19.

[01:45:44] 19 is his DC.

[01:45:47] Oh yeah, he's taking full damage.

[01:46:11] 31 damage.

[01:46:12] Okay, how do you kill him?

[01:46:14] With lots of bullets.

[01:46:15] With lots of bullets.

[01:46:19] Is this guy attacking anyone?

[01:46:21] No, he was, it looked like he was like going diving into the water, his head was diving

[01:46:25] down to grab us to bite something.

[01:46:27] And there were some casualties around, probably some people fleeing and some parts and stuff

[01:46:31] around him.

[01:46:33] He was the one attempting, is he the shark biter?

[01:46:37] He was one of them.

[01:46:38] He was the one that was riddled with bullets.

[01:46:40] But he was, he tried to bite him.

[01:46:43] You didn't actually do the bite though?

[01:46:44] No.

[01:46:45] Okay, either way.

[01:46:48] I don't know how else to flavor this because I'm basically just riddling it with bullets.

[01:46:51] That's fine, that's fine.

[01:46:52] He's just riddling it with bullets.

[01:46:52] Yeah, he's just going down trying to get guys.

[01:46:54] He probably, there was a guy on a raft, he tried to bite and he missed because like I'm

[01:46:58] shooting with bullets, it kind of like pushing him off target a little bit so he goes down

[01:47:01] trying to bite him and he just doesn't come back up.

[01:47:02] Yeah, he just like, or he gets back up and it's like...

[01:47:05] Yeah, he just floats there.

[01:47:07] Yeah.

[01:47:09] Alright.

[01:47:10] And then I'll use my bonus action to move my hunter's mark to the one that's above us probably.

[01:47:14] Yeah.

[01:47:15] As you look up it's like, it's like, hi.

[01:47:18] You crack open the side.

[01:47:20] It's like right there.

[01:47:21] Yeah.

[01:47:21] Actually, also something of interest is when that one dies and like it floats back to

[01:47:25] the surface, then suddenly the water all around it flash freezes.

[01:47:29] And there's just suddenly a chunk of ice.

[01:47:32] Okay.

[01:47:32] Like about 20 feet across right next to it.

[01:47:35] In fact, part of that raft that was that guy was on, like it's partially stuck into it.

[01:47:39] Nice.

[01:47:40] Also, is anyone injured right now?

[01:47:42] Technically no.

[01:47:43] Yes, extremely.

[01:47:44] Are you?

[01:47:45] Yeah, I didn't get a chance to heal again.

[01:47:47] I healed you with prayer healing.

[01:47:49] Yeah, for how much?

[01:47:50] Like 14?

[01:47:51] Is it 18 or something?

[01:47:52] Yeah, it's not much.

[01:47:53] Okay, well either way you get, what is it?

[01:47:57] Two more HP because we killed something?

[01:47:59] Oh yeah.

[01:48:00] You get two more HP because we killed something.

[01:48:01] That's something.

[01:48:03] I'm still bloody, but.

[01:48:04] Yup.

[01:48:09] And then, so that's what you did.

[01:48:11] And yeah, for the rest of my action I'm probably just making sure I have my shit

[01:48:14] because I'm probably going to leave the van at this point.

[01:48:17] I'm not sure.

[01:48:17] Well, as Jacob and John probably see, and Marcel actually probably as well, you're not

[01:48:24] going to probably have to use any boats to get to the ones that are in the water because

[01:48:29] they're coming to you.

[01:48:30] At least the one that is still alive is coming to you guys because it's as if it's chasing

[01:48:34] something or trying to like find, like trying to find the shoreline in kind of like a haphazard

[01:48:40] way.

[01:48:40] So it spends its turn basically half blind by ink and trying to make its way to the shore.

[01:48:47] We can't even, we probably can't even tell it's blind.

[01:48:49] Aren't these things black?

[01:48:50] Oh that's true, yeah.

[01:48:51] They are basically just black.

[01:48:53] So we just see one just fussing about for unknown reasons to us.

[01:48:56] Yeah.

[01:48:57] So Marcel, you're up.

[01:49:00] I'm going to climb out of the wreckage.

[01:49:02] You see a giant?

[01:49:03] Walk over the one who's directly in front of us and smite him with heavenly strike for

[01:49:09] 3 die 6 bonus damage.

[01:49:12] So you're basically like standing on top of the overturned VW bus and you're jumping

[01:49:18] off with a hammer.

[01:49:19] Yeah.

[01:49:19] And just clobber him right in the gut.

[01:49:28] 19 to hit.

[01:49:30] That'll hit.

[01:49:37] 8, 14, 17, 21, 21 radiant damage and he's blind.

[01:49:47] Okay.

[01:49:48] Or she's going to make it DC something saving throw.

[01:49:50] Yep.

[01:49:54] How long is he blind for?

[01:49:59] Constitution saving throw.

[01:50:01] At the start of his turn he'll be blinded.

[01:50:02] So DC 14.

[01:50:03] Yeah, so you're blind as black.

[01:50:05] Yeah, he's blind.

[01:50:06] Nice.

[01:50:06] From the flash prank of holiness.

[01:50:10] So he's not having a good day.

[01:50:13] Ask how long he's blinded for because if he's not attacking us for a turn or two, would

[01:50:18] we be able to overturn the bus back over?

[01:50:22] I probably could.

[01:50:25] If we could do that, we could turn on and get the fuck away from them.

[01:50:28] Gun as we're moving.

[01:50:30] Yeah, if you want to try that.

[01:50:32] Or just fight on foot or die on foot.

[01:50:34] Whatever happens.

[01:50:35] Are you going to tell them, like, oh, we got a couple, we got a few, a little bit before an airstrike happens.

[01:50:41] I mean, I heard of phone coordinates.

[01:50:43] I heard of phone coordinates.

[01:50:43] Yeah.

[01:50:44] His phone coordinates are the targeting coordinates.

[01:50:47] Yeah.

[01:50:47] So, yeah.

[01:50:53] Next up is going to be the Cressi that's coming toward the water.

[01:51:01] Or, no.

[01:51:02] Hang on.

[01:51:02] That one.

[01:51:03] That one moved.

[01:51:04] Sorry, that one.

[01:51:05] Okay, sorry.

[01:51:05] I'm, yeah.

[01:51:06] Yeah.

[01:51:07] So it's actually the one that's blind, but it can't really do much, except for freaking

[01:51:11] out and such.

[01:51:13] It can still attack wildly.

[01:51:15] Yeah.

[01:51:15] I guess it'll try.

[01:51:18] Let's just see.

[01:51:24] Attack rolls, the creature have advantage, and the creature attack rolls have disadvantage.

[01:51:30] Okay, so, yeah.

[01:51:32] It's going to try and attack Marcel, since he just blinded it.

[01:51:37] If you try.

[01:51:38] Is he just attacking with disadvantage because he's blind?

[01:51:40] Yeah, he's just latching over the tail and stuff like that.

[01:51:43] Okay.

[01:51:44] So there's two blind ones?

[01:51:45] Yeah.

[01:51:46] Now they're, one by ink and one by light.

[01:51:47] Okay.

[01:51:48] And one dead one.

[01:51:50] That's not going to hit you.

[01:51:52] It's a, like...oh, actually it might hit you.

[01:51:55] 16?

[01:51:55] No.

[01:51:56] No.

[01:51:56] Let's try it for the second attack.

[01:52:02] So.

[01:52:02] Yeah.

[01:52:03] It's just flat.

[01:52:04] You're just seeing this giant bus sized serpent just thrashing on the land, and then

[01:52:08] you look out and you see another one kind of fuddling around, thrashing around

[01:52:12] the water, like kind of trying to get to shore but not quite making it.

[01:52:16] Mm-hmm.

[01:52:17] And top of the round.

[01:52:18] So, Jacob.

[01:52:20] Okay.

[01:52:20] We're on land.

[01:52:21] The octopus has made landfall.

[01:52:23] Excellent.

[01:52:24] So now I'm a people again.

[01:52:25] Okay.

[01:52:26] Alright.

[01:52:27] What do you mean?

[01:52:27] So you, like, you see it like pop in the water and then you see it like splash out of

[01:52:31] the water and then like immediately as soon as you come back out, it's you.

[01:52:34] Yep.

[01:52:35] Yep.

[01:52:36] That's exactly right.

[01:52:37] I shot out of the octopus, back under, and then out is me.

[01:52:41] Stiff as a board, and land on the shore.

[01:52:43] Yeah.

[01:52:44] Yeah.

[01:52:45] Exactly.

[01:52:47] Alright.

[01:52:48] Jacob, what are you doing?

[01:52:49] Okay.

[01:52:49] Um, well...

[01:52:50] You see that chaos on the land, like, oh, your button, your, the mastering machine's

[01:52:54] flipped.

[01:52:56] Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.

[01:52:59] I'm pretty sure I have explosives, right?

[01:53:11] Yes.

[01:53:12] Grenades.

[01:53:12] Yep.

[01:53:13] Yes.

[01:53:14] Okay.

[01:53:15] I'm going to, uh, throw a pair of grenades at him.

[01:53:21] Okay.

[01:53:23] It's pretty close to the van.

[01:53:25] He means the other one.

[01:53:26] Oh, the one in the water.

[01:53:26] The one that's thrashing after me.

[01:53:28] Oh, okay.

[01:53:29] My bad.

[01:53:29] Yeah.

[01:53:30] Yeah, it's about like, yeah, it's about 20, 30 feet away from me.

[01:53:33] Yeah.

[01:53:33] Okay.

[01:53:34] Alright.

[01:53:34] Well, we'll throw a pair of grenades.

[01:53:35] Where's the stats for grenades?

[01:53:38] Merrick, did you write those down?

[01:53:40] Uh, 15 foot radius, DC, 15, dex save, uh, 3d6 damage.

[01:53:45] Okay.

[01:53:46] Okay.

[01:53:47] Okay.

[01:53:47] Okay.

[01:53:48] So then I guess you gotta give a dex save.

[01:53:51] He's blind.

[01:53:52] Uh huh.

[01:53:53] So disadvantage of the dex save.

[01:53:54] No, automatically fails any ability checks or, uh, required sight, uh, that require sight.

[01:53:59] Oh.

[01:54:00] Okay.

[01:54:01] Because he doesn't see it coming.

[01:54:03] Yeah.

[01:54:03] Okay.

[01:54:03] Just all the grenades.

[01:54:05] Give him all the grenades.

[01:54:06] Well, I mean, I can justifiably throw two in a round.

[01:54:10] One for each hand.

[01:54:12] Mmhmm.

[01:54:15] Also I have two grenades.

[01:54:17] So you're just like, huh, huh.

[01:54:19] Yup.

[01:54:20] Uh, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 from one of them.

[01:54:28] 5, 10, 11 from the other.

[01:54:32] So is that?

[01:54:32] So 21.

[01:54:34] Okay.

[01:54:34] Um, yep.

[01:54:36] Uh, that's water.

[01:54:38] Okay, yeah.

[01:54:41] Right, I guess on fire.

[01:54:42] Yeah.

[01:54:43] But I was thinking of like, the concussion like depth charge kind of thing.

[01:54:50] Uh, yeah, so they are, well I guess in that case you could treat it as a bludgeoning

[01:54:55] damage instead of piercing.

[01:54:56] Piercing.

[01:54:56] Yeah.

[01:54:58] Um, yeah.

[01:54:58] Or he just cooked them properly and.

[01:55:01] And got them like on either side of his ears.

[01:55:04] And now he can't hear either.

[01:55:05] He's deaf.

[01:55:06] Yeah.

[01:55:06] Yeah.

[01:55:08] Uh, but yeah, no, he does not like that.

[01:55:10] Uh, he is just, yeah, the depth charges go up.

[01:55:15] Like, giant splashes go up.

[01:55:17] Um, he is not liking that.

[01:55:18] There's more screams.

[01:55:19] People are trying to get a fast, like get away here as fast as they can.

[01:55:22] Like desperately and more frantic and crazy.

[01:55:26] Um, and uh, next up is John.

[01:55:32] Okay.

[01:55:33] So, um, I technically still have line of sight with the machine gun on the other one.

[01:55:40] The one that he's, that uh, Aaron's messing around with.

[01:55:43] Yeah.

[01:55:44] Cause it's down there.

[01:55:45] But the one right beside us we should probably deal with first because it could squash the van.

[01:55:49] Yeah.

[01:55:51] Uh, so I guess I'll just hop out and start shooting it.

[01:55:59] Okay.

[01:56:00] From the hip.

[01:56:01] Yeah, just pull it to the browning.

[01:56:03] It's just hip to fire it.

[01:56:04] From the hip.

[01:56:05] Grind.

[01:56:06] I'll hit it once and then the rest of them will go into the sky and I'll fall on my back.

[01:56:12] Which is still better than your AR.

[01:56:16] I'll put the browning on semi-automatic fire.

[01:56:19] Just one shot.

[01:56:22] Sends you back three steps every time you pull the trigger.

[01:56:25] He's got a feather of the trigger really light.

[01:56:27] Yes, yes.

[01:56:27] Something jams and like explodes like hits your, uh, hits your artery on your neck and

[01:56:32] Oh God, I need a thumb in it.

[01:56:34] Yeah.

[01:56:35] I need to put my fist in it.

[01:56:37] Yeah, pretty much.

[01:56:38] I'm referencing Kentucky ballistics and his mishap with the 50 cal.

[01:56:43] Uh, he got shrapnel like on his face, like barely missed an eye, cut his jugular or like

[01:56:49] cut a vein somewhere here.

[01:56:51] And he had to basically, you know, the thing that was keeping him from bleeding out on

[01:56:54] the way back to the hospital with his dad driving was putting his thumb in the, into

[01:56:58] his, into the wound in his chest.

[01:57:00] In his neck.

[01:57:01] Or in his carotid, like right here in his nearest clavicle.

[01:57:03] Like he was just holding on, like basically holding it down.

[01:57:05] Yeah.

[01:57:06] That fella had a bad day.

[01:57:07] Yeah, no, it was bad.

[01:57:08] Like cause and it was not, nothing he did wrong.

[01:57:10] It was just, um, a bad batch of, of ammo.

[01:57:14] It was like kind of sketchy, weird, slop round ammo.

[01:57:17] Yeah.

[01:57:17] But it was nothing that he did.

[01:57:18] Like the gun was fine.

[01:57:19] It was just like.

[01:57:19] Whoever made the ammo put way too much gunpowder in it or the wrong kind or something and

[01:57:23] it just literally exploded the gun.

[01:57:25] Yeah.

[01:57:26] It was bad time.

[01:57:27] Yeah.

[01:57:28] Regardless, that's not this game.

[01:57:29] Yeah, sorry, my bad.

[01:57:30] Uh.

[01:57:32] Not yet.

[01:57:33] No, not yet.

[01:57:36] What the hell could I do to this guy?

[01:57:39] Shoot him.

[01:57:40] I shoot him in a taint.

[01:57:41] I just hate that.

[01:57:42] Everything I'm doing is just, I'm gonna shoot him with bullets.

[01:57:45] Like.

[01:57:46] This is the character you picked.

[01:57:47] I mean, it is.

[01:57:48] What is it?

[01:57:49] I guess it is.

[01:57:50] Um.

[01:57:52] Raven Feeblement.

[01:57:54] It gives the target half strength on its attacks and it has to do a save per turn to

[01:57:58] like, get away from it?

[01:58:01] What save is that?

[01:58:02] That would be like a wisdom or charisma, but.

[01:58:05] Or is it just against my spell save DC?

[01:58:08] I'm assuming.

[01:58:10] I'm assuming.

[01:58:10] Damn.

[01:58:12] That's it.

[01:58:12] Well, it's against your spell save DC, but I don't know whether it's a constitution

[01:58:16] or what.

[01:58:29] I can't fucking type in F.

[01:58:33] I keep going.

[01:58:34] Ray of engebelment.

[01:58:36] Ray of enkebelment.

[01:58:37] I got it.

[01:58:37] Ray of enkebelment.

[01:58:38] Damn it.

[01:58:40] Ray of enkebelment.

[01:58:41] Ray of enkebelment.

[01:58:41] Turns you into a little elf and he turns you into a keeble elf.

[01:58:43] Yeah.

[01:58:46] Yeah.

[01:58:46] Ah, much.

[01:58:47] Damn it.

[01:58:48] Okay, so the target deal is only half damage with weapon attacks that use strength.

[01:58:52] Does that count like natural weapons?

[01:58:57] Or is that like specifically weapons?

[01:59:00] It says weapon attacks.

[01:59:01] Like melee like natural attacks and stuff like that.

[01:59:03] I mean yeah, technically all their attacks like in their stats are considered melee weapon

[01:59:09] attacks or ranged weapon attacks.

[01:59:11] So yeah.

[01:59:13] Okay.

[01:59:17] Like his tail and his butt, these guys tail and bite attacks are going to be counted as

[01:59:20] melee weapons.

[01:59:21] Yes.

[01:59:22] And they're all strength based I assume.

[01:59:23] Yes.

[01:59:24] Okay.

[01:59:25] We gotta register your guns as a lethal weapon.

[01:59:28] And this guy is undamaged right?

[01:59:30] Uh, this one, no actually this one, this one's actually been hurt.

[01:59:34] Oh yeah, you got hit by your...

[01:59:35] Both of them are basically the same amount of damage and both of them are blinded.

[01:59:40] Okay.

[01:59:40] Okay.

[01:59:42] Then yeah, I'll try a little bit of wizarding I guess.

[01:59:45] Oh fuck yeah bud!

[01:59:46] Yeah, fuck yeah bud.

[01:59:48] Well the machine gun's dead so you're not going to be a wizard again.

[01:59:51] That's how that works.

[01:59:53] Um.

[01:59:53] Why brownings would you have wizards?

[01:59:55] Yes, exactly.

[01:59:57] So uh, yeah, I'll combat roll out of the back of the uh, the overturned VW bus.

[02:00:04] Yep.

[02:00:05] And um, shoot a black beam of necronic energy up to him.

[02:00:11] Okay.

[02:00:12] That makes him weak and he has to do a constitution saving throw every turn otherwise all of his

[02:00:19] attacks are half damage.

[02:00:22] Okay.

[02:00:23] And I believe that's my turn.

[02:00:26] So he did no, like what damage?

[02:00:27] It doesn't do any damage.

[02:00:28] He just uh...

[02:00:29] It makes it so all of his attacks do half damage from here on unless he passes one of his

[02:00:34] I mean that's very helpful.

[02:00:35] Yes, unless he passes his save next turn.

[02:00:38] We'll see.

[02:00:38] And then I will cry.

[02:00:41] Then you'll cry.

[02:00:42] But uh, for the rest of my turn I will get distance away from the van.

[02:00:48] Okay.

[02:00:48] Probably in the direction of where um, Jacob is.

[02:00:53] Ish.

[02:00:54] Okay.

[02:00:55] Like I'm not trying to get aggro by both of the giant uh, things.

[02:01:00] But I'm going away from where he is.

[02:01:01] Yeah, you're running about ten feet to where Jacob is.

[02:01:03] Yes.

[02:01:05] And I'm readying my weapon because I didn't have that ready.

[02:01:07] Gotcha.

[02:01:08] Gotcha.

[02:01:08] Alright, so Jon.

[02:01:09] Oh no, you're right.

[02:01:10] So the Cressy that you just attacked, um, it's looking around, well it can't look around,

[02:01:15] it automatically fails.

[02:01:16] Um, yeah, it, it, they're blinded so yeah, he's just like flailing around.

[02:01:22] Mmhmm.

[02:01:22] Um, so next was Marcel.

[02:01:26] I'm going to clobber up again.

[02:01:29] It's clobbering time.

[02:01:32] How long does that blind last?

[02:01:34] Until he makes a save against it.

[02:01:35] Oh nice.

[02:01:36] So he's having a DC 13, or a DC 14.

[02:01:39] Yeah, he wouldn't have got it.

[02:01:40] He's still blind.

[02:01:42] Alright, so I'm just going to hit with my hammer.

[02:01:46] Unagi.

[02:01:48] Oh no.

[02:01:50] Those jets are going to show up and just like target like where you are.

[02:01:53] Where that creature is, but also where the van is.

[02:01:57] Yeah, I'd like to be able to overturn it if possible at some point and get the fuck out.

[02:02:01] Or just throw your phone down his throat.

[02:02:04] Oh, I have advantage.

[02:02:06] Uh, 18, so 20 something.

[02:02:10] Yeah, that hits.

[02:02:11] I'm going to spite him again with burning strike.

[02:02:14] A five, nine damage.

[02:02:23] But I think he's also on fire.

[02:02:25] And he's on land so we can't go into the back of the water for that.

[02:02:32] Uh, make a constitution throw, saving throw at the start of your turn, or ignite.

[02:02:37] So I gotta do that right now?

[02:02:39] Yep.

[02:02:43] Uh, that's going to be a 14.

[02:02:52] Ah, beats.

[02:02:53] Beats?

[02:02:54] Yeah.

[02:02:54] Okay.

[02:02:55] So he's not on fire.

[02:02:56] Nope.

[02:02:58] Alright, so next up is the Cressy that uh...

[02:03:04] Don't say the blind one.

[02:03:06] Don't say the blind one because that doesn't...

[02:03:09] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[02:03:09] It doesn't matter.

[02:03:10] The one that you're running to and that he's been like throwing stuff at.

[02:03:14] Yes.

[02:03:14] The inked one.

[02:03:15] Yep.

[02:03:17] Uh...

[02:03:19] Oh, actually no, sorry.

[02:03:20] That wouldn't have been that one.

[02:03:21] It would have been the one that you were hitting, so...

[02:03:23] Ah, God.

[02:03:24] There's...

[02:03:24] Yeah.

[02:03:27] Um...

[02:03:28] So...

[02:03:28] Yeah, it still fails its blind check though.

[02:03:30] So both of them failed their blind checks.

[02:03:31] So they're still just thrashing.

[02:03:34] Um...

[02:03:35] They still attack though, right?

[02:03:36] Just a disadvantage, even though they're blind?

[02:03:38] Yeah.

[02:03:38] Yeah.

[02:03:39] Okay, so this one's just going to start...

[02:03:41] So the one that I enfeebled, it's his turn now?

[02:03:43] Yeah.

[02:03:43] Give me a constitution saving throw.

[02:03:44] No, no, no.

[02:03:45] The one that was enfeebled was the one by the van, which is...

[02:03:48] was the other one.

[02:03:50] Oh, okay.

[02:03:51] Sorry.

[02:03:52] I'm also mixing up each one.

[02:03:53] No, no, you're right.

[02:03:54] Hang on, you're right.

[02:03:55] Sorry.

[02:03:55] The one at the van is the one that I enfeebled.

[02:03:58] So the one at the van is the one that's going right now.

[02:04:01] The one that was at the water is the one that was...

[02:04:03] that you were running to and is the one that goes before Marcello, not after.

[02:04:07] Okay.

[02:04:08] Um, so I'm just going to...

[02:04:10] Constitution saving throw.

[02:04:15] 14?

[02:04:16] You beat me.

[02:04:17] I'm sorry Dave.

[02:04:19] This is just the way it is.

[02:04:22] Uh, it's going to try and...

[02:04:29] It's going to try and attack, um...

[02:04:32] Jacob, since you're there.

[02:04:35] Um, and it got the lowest one at the lowest, uh, uh, on its disadvantage.

[02:04:40] It's still got like a 16 roll.

[02:04:42] So, 16 plus nine.

[02:04:44] That's going to be...

[02:04:44] Wait, it's hitting who?

[02:04:45] It's hitting him.

[02:04:47] No!

[02:04:48] Damn it!

[02:04:49] Ugh!

[02:04:50] Why are we confused?

[02:04:51] Okay.

[02:04:52] This guy's name is Van.

[02:04:53] His name is Van.

[02:04:54] Yes.

[02:04:54] Cressy.

[02:04:55] Van Cressy and Ink Cressy.

[02:04:58] Yes.

[02:04:58] Yes.

[02:04:58] Thank you.

[02:04:58] Sorry.

[02:04:59] Yeah, so Van Cressy is going to try and attack Marcel.

[02:05:02] Uh, but it got a 16.

[02:05:03] You can certainly try.

[02:05:04] 20...

[02:05:04] It would be a 24.

[02:05:06] My braces are forward, so you can go fuck yourself.

[02:05:08] Okay, so yeah, it's...

[02:05:09] But he's going to try again, because he's got two attacks.

[02:05:16] And he's going to fail.

[02:05:17] Aha!

[02:05:18] So yeah, he's just flailing and like freaking out and some of that.

[02:05:20] Um, and top of the round, uh, Marcel, make... or you guys can actually all make a perception

[02:05:26] test.

[02:05:34] 18?

[02:05:35] 18.

[02:05:35] Okay.

[02:05:38] 10.

[02:05:39] 10?

[02:05:39] Okay.

[02:05:46] 20.

[02:05:47] Okay, so Marcel and Jacob, you hear off in the distance, like south of you, looks

[02:05:53] like maybe farther south down the lake, you hear boom, like the explosion of water,

[02:06:01] like an explosion on water.

[02:06:03] Um, and Jacob, you also hear off in the distance, the shriek of a jet flying closer and closer.

[02:06:14] PA system flying right into that belt.

[02:06:17] Yeah.

[02:06:18] Um, no, it's going... these jets are going far too fast for that.

[02:06:22] You wouldn't sound like TIE fighters.

[02:06:24] Um, so apparently they hit something on the southern part of the lake.

[02:06:29] They took out something on the southern part of the lake and now they're coming to take

[02:06:32] up the... your problem.

[02:06:33] Yeah, there is still one more after these three.

[02:06:35] Actually, there were two others.

[02:06:36] Were there two others?

[02:06:37] They took care of those guys.

[02:06:38] Why?

[02:06:38] I cleared those guys for you.

[02:06:40] Um, but you now have...

[02:06:43] Uh, you, you predict, Jacob, uh, you have like seconds before those jets are on you and

[02:06:48] firing missiles at the...

[02:06:50] Oh, you don't know anything about that actually.

[02:06:52] You have no idea.

[02:06:53] It was like, eh, like something, some, some, uh, missiles just like struck, uh, the shore,

[02:06:58] the, the far shore of the lake.

[02:07:00] I'm running towards him but I'm, I don't know if I'm out of earshot.

[02:07:04] Yeah.

[02:07:04] Well, yeah, no, you, you didn't...

[02:07:05] He's coming!

[02:07:06] Run!

[02:07:07] Yeah, you, you didn't hear that at all.

[02:07:08] No.

[02:07:09] Yeah, you didn't hear the, the explosions.

[02:07:10] You just like rushed over to him.

[02:07:12] Mm-hmm.

[02:07:13] So, um, yeah, but Marcelo, you heard that explosion and you're like, ah, you got like

[02:07:18] maybe seconds before that thing.

[02:07:20] Before they show up to...

[02:07:21] So like one round of combat?

[02:07:22] Basically, yeah.

[02:07:23] Alright.

[02:07:23] Yeah.

[02:07:24] Which one looks worse?

[02:07:26] Uh, the creatures?

[02:07:27] Um, they're actually pretty well even, like...

[02:07:29] The one closest to you looks the worst.

[02:07:32] Okay.

[02:07:33] Yeah, Van Cressy looks the worst.

[02:07:35] Okay.

[02:07:37] Um, but, uh, yeah, Jacob, you're up.

[02:07:40] Okay, so I saw missiles strike.

[02:07:42] You saw explosions on the southern part of the lake.

[02:07:44] Yeah.

[02:07:45] I hear the shrink of fighter jets coming in.

[02:07:47] Yes.

[02:07:47] You hear me screaming something but you can't tell what it is.

[02:07:51] Yeah.

[02:07:52] Okay.

[02:07:53] Well then, I am going to, um, start running towards the van.

[02:07:58] How far away is it?

[02:07:59] Uh, it's within ten feet and it's flipped.

[02:08:01] What did you guys...

[02:08:04] You got bitch slapped.

[02:08:06] Yeah, you also see in front of you, like, next to the van as well, there's also a flailing blinded sea monster.

[02:08:12] It's on its side.

[02:08:13] It's not upside down, it's just on its side.

[02:08:15] It got cow tipped, remember?

[02:08:18] Okay.

[02:08:18] You brought that up, the cow tip, eh?

[02:08:22] Uh, yes, but my character wasn't present for that.

[02:08:24] That's true.

[02:08:25] He was underwater.

[02:08:26] Mm-hmm.

[02:08:27] Fighting briefly as a shark.

[02:08:29] Yes.

[02:08:30] Uh, okay.

[02:08:31] Well, then, um, does it look overly difficult to roll the van?

[02:08:44] With some brute strength you could probably do it.

[02:08:48] I'm not a...

[02:08:49] I'm not a horridly weak character.

[02:08:53] Aaron.

[02:08:57] I'm out. I'm tapped. I am tapped, brah.

[02:09:00] So like, not an hour from now and you get your stamina back.

[02:09:02] Then gorilla.

[02:09:03] Uh huh.

[02:09:05] We're just going to sit in the straw line for a few minutes, smoke a joint.

[02:09:09] Oh, you're going to be doing that in Agartha as you guys get vaporized by missiles.

[02:09:13] No, I got this. I got this. I think. I think I got this.

[02:09:22] You got a shield?

[02:09:24] I can't do a shield that big.

[02:09:26] Also, no. I don't have shield.

[02:09:30] Sadly, it is not on the mage list. Why the fuck is it not on the mage list?

[02:09:35] It's not on my list.

[02:09:38] Seems weird.

[02:09:39] Right?

[02:09:39] I guess because they're focusing all like damage output and elements and such.

[02:09:45] In utility but not defense. Defense is for the tanky classes.

[02:09:49] I have mage armor but that's it. Yeah.

[02:09:51] I don't know.

[02:09:53] I don't know.

[02:09:53] Well, my shield is on the self.

[02:09:55] Mm-hmm.

[02:09:56] It's basically just a boost to your AC.

[02:09:58] It's a Captain America shield.

[02:10:00] Yeah.

[02:10:00] But I got something else.

[02:10:01] I just gotta make sure that I might be able to make it work.

[02:10:06] How far away is the second sea serpent?

[02:10:09] Uh, the second one is on the, is like basically near the, near the shore so like,

[02:10:12] probably like 30 feet away.

[02:10:14] Or no, like 20 feet away from the, from your...

[02:10:18] Definitely within strike of the, of the, when the airstrike happens.

[02:10:23] Like that, you guys are gonna wanna get out of that area.

[02:10:26] Yeah.

[02:10:26] That part, whole section, like that whole waterfront area of that property is going to be gone.

[02:10:31] Once those, uh, once that missile takes out.

[02:10:42] Maybe.

[02:10:43] Maybe.

[02:10:45] I'm gonna tell everybody to get in the van.

[02:10:49] And then I'm going to, um, drop an entangle.

[02:10:55] Okay.

[02:10:58] Are you trying to like, like push it over with the, with the roots and some of that?

[02:11:01] Like brished up?

[02:11:02] No, I'm trying to, to cover us in an entangle.

[02:11:06] We are Groot.

[02:11:08] I'm, I'm basically going to tangle us up in, in vines and grass and roots and whatever.

[02:11:17] And after entangle, I'm gonna use spike growth.

[02:11:21] Okay.

[02:11:23] I'm burning my two left, two, level two spell slots to do so.

[02:11:29] Mm-hmm.

[02:11:32] I, I don't, I don't know if that's gonna let us survive guys.

[02:11:35] We'll see, we'll see, I'll, I'll make a, I'll, I'll put, I'll do some roll, I'll say, I'll say this.

[02:11:41] Doing this, we'll actually like, the, the crisis are gonna get nuked.

[02:11:45] Like they're gonna be taken in.

[02:11:47] You guys, I'm actually gonna roll damage dice.

[02:11:51] Okay.

[02:11:51] To see, and I'm gonna be, I figure if we're in the van, then that might help too.

[02:11:58] Mm-hmm.

[02:11:58] Yeah.

[02:12:01] Oh God.

[02:12:01] Can I cash yield on myself?

[02:12:03] Yeah.

[02:12:04] Yeah.

[02:12:06] Why not?

[02:12:07] Smoke them if you got them.

[02:12:08] I'm gonna use you as cover.

[02:12:11] The kill will, the blast will kill us both.

[02:12:14] Oh!

[02:12:16] Shield me!

[02:12:18] I only survived because my mother formed a, a, a, a cocoon of viscera over me when the explosion happened.

[02:12:25] And that was from, uh, Dr. Evil's origin story in like the third.

[02:12:28] Oh, okay.

[02:12:29] Like his mom, like when he was a baby, his mom was in a, in a car and he's like,

[02:12:32] I'm like, I'm sorry.

[02:12:33] And then it was, it was blown up by the Belgians.

[02:12:36] Or no.

[02:12:36] By the Belgians?

[02:12:37] By the Dutch.

[02:12:38] By the Dutch, yeah.

[02:12:40] And then.

[02:12:40] Two things I can't stand.

[02:12:42] People who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch.

[02:12:46] But yeah.

[02:12:47] Um, and then like, yeah, they like, uh, Dr. Evil always survived as a baby because his

[02:12:50] mother like, held him like close and basically formed a, a viscera cocoon around him.

[02:12:57] Okay.

[02:12:58] Okay.

[02:13:01] I do like that term.

[02:13:02] A viscera cocoon.

[02:13:05] Come on, there's...

[02:13:06] What do you got to shield us with, Dave?

[02:13:08] Nothing.

[02:13:10] I'm furiously looking through all of my spills, all of my anime moves.

[02:13:15] Yeah, I feel like at this point, everything went to slow-mo.

[02:13:19] It was like...

[02:13:20] Doof, doof, doof, doof, doof.

[02:13:22] Doof, doof.

[02:13:22] I could do nothing but get in there and just close the dopest.

[02:13:28] That's one last thing that anybody else has to do, so...

[02:13:31] I guess.

[02:13:33] You could turn the air, start the, start the van, turn the AC on.

[02:13:36] Yeah, I'll do that.

[02:13:39] See, that might, might actually help.

[02:13:41] Surprising amount.

[02:13:44] Okay, well I'm gonna give...

[02:13:50] Hey, get on it.

[02:13:52] Okay.

[02:13:52] Yeah.

[02:13:54] Here's what I'm gonna do.

[02:13:57] I'm going to roll some dice to create your...how much, um...how many hit points you guys, that

[02:14:04] needs to be bypassed before it starts affecting you guys. And then I'm gonna roll the bombs.

[02:14:19] Wait, did the, um, Volkswagen Bust take any damage from rolling over?

[02:14:24] No.

[02:14:24] Okay. If so, men.

[02:14:26] Yeah, yeah. The one bump you debuff. I'm sure that'll help.

[02:14:30] Yeah, totally.

[02:14:31] Um, also keep in mind I did use a level 2 spell slot on that entangle.

[02:14:38] Yeah, in fact, I'm just gonna max it. So, what I'm gonna do here, I'm gonna use the, the cheat sheet, or the, uh, not the cheat sheet, the, um,

[02:14:44] the GM screen has like, uh, object hit points and stuff like that. So I'm gonna use the resilient hit points of a large object

[02:14:51] and the fragile points of a large object for the, for the roots and stuff like that. And max those out.

[02:14:57] Okay.

[02:14:58] And then add those two together. And that'll be basically your cocoon slash truck.

[02:15:02] Okay. So you're looking at, so you guys know, you're looking at about, uh, 50 HP for the car.

[02:15:10] And about 10 points of, of HP for the, for the roots and like, various plants and stuff like that. Yes.

[02:15:16] Now I am also putting spike growth on top of that.

[02:15:19] Okay, so another 10.

[02:15:21] Okay. So 70 hit points.

[02:15:23] Half these bombs have to bypass.

[02:15:25] Before they'll start damaging us.

[02:15:27] Yeah. And how much, so I'm probably just gonna roll some die 8s or some, uh, some, yeah, I'm just gonna roll like, maybe like, 12 die 8s.

[02:15:36] Okay.

[02:15:38] Um, for the, to see how much of that bleeds over.

[02:15:45] So you guys are all, so you guys are running, like, dashing into the, into the van amidst the, the, the, the distance screams and stuff and stuff and the creatures still thrashing and stuff.

[02:15:53] Yup.

[02:15:54] You're closing all the doors, um, but not before.

[02:15:57] Got a pair of 50 Cal, we could, we could shoot down one of those fire jets.

[02:16:00] They're Templar?

[02:16:01] They're Jets.

[02:16:02] I don't know that.

[02:16:03] That's true.

[02:16:08] They know.

[02:16:09] They're a World Health Organization.

[02:16:12] Ooh!

[02:16:15] Which is when you just fight the Venetians.

[02:16:19] Okay.

[02:16:21] Um, whenever somebody says the Venetians, I all, my brain thinks that it's a cult devoted to Phineas and Ferb.

[02:16:37] For me, it's always blinds.

[02:16:39] Ha ha ha ha!

[02:16:40] That's all the time.

[02:16:41] Every single time.

[02:16:43] Every single time.

[02:16:45] I think you're all done phonics.

[02:16:51] Remember that as a kid?

[02:16:52] Dude, that's, yes, I do remember it.

[02:16:56] They bought it for my older brother because he was behind.

[02:16:58] And then they put me on it when I was four.

[02:17:01] So before I was in kindergarten.

[02:17:03] That's why when I was in grade one, I was reading at a grade six level.

[02:17:08] Well beyond my, my reading level.

[02:17:21] And then they started rewarding reading by giving us free personal pan pizzas from Pizza Hut.

[02:17:27] Nice.

[02:17:28] So we're dead?

[02:17:29] So.

[02:17:30] So dead.

[02:17:32] You might be.

[02:17:33] What happens is you guys run into the van.

[02:17:39] You cast your magics to like create the multiple layers of group shields.

[02:17:44] Yeah, we are group shields.

[02:17:46] And then you all, and then you close all the doors and like just like hold them or something.

[02:17:50] Like hold on tight and pray to whatever gods you believe in.

[02:17:53] As you guys hear the, chuuuuuuu.

[02:17:57] And then, boom, just this giant ruckus.

[02:18:05] And you guys roll acrobatics to not like smack into something in the, inside of the, great.

[02:18:13] Okay.

[02:18:14] I don't know what you're talking about.

[02:18:15] I put my seatbelt on and pass me.

[02:18:17] Uh, 14.

[02:18:23] Six.

[02:18:24] So the glass just shatters and splashes into you.

[02:18:27] Hell yeah.

[02:18:28] Um.

[02:18:30] That's actually gonna be 4 damage.

[02:18:33] Mmhmm.

[02:18:33] From glass.

[02:18:35] Uh, what'd you get?

[02:18:36] 14.

[02:18:37] Okay, 14 you're fine.

[02:18:38] Um.

[02:18:40] But um.

[02:18:42] You guys all black out for a moment.

[02:18:44] Uh, and at first you're like, for you specifically, uh, Jacob, you're like, oh fuck I'm back in the limbo.

[02:18:51] I gotta go deal with those two assholes.

[02:18:52] But then you start coming back to it.

[02:18:54] Five stars are under the rift.

[02:18:55] Yeah.

[02:18:56] But you start coming back to it and you start seeing like the brightness and stuff like that.

[02:18:59] And you look around, the van is shredded.

[02:19:04] Um.

[02:19:04] The, there's a crater that you're at the bottom of.

[02:19:07] That's starting to pool water from the, from the, from where, like, from the lake.

[02:19:12] Um.

[02:19:13] There is, like, debris of like the thorn bushes and like the, the, the, the growths and stuff that you created all over the place.

[02:19:19] There's also two, there's at least two crecies worth of viscera all around you.

[02:19:25] Smoking and smoldering.

[02:19:27] Um.

[02:19:27] And the, you can hear the, the, those distant, um, jets just going, like flying off, like flying away.

[02:19:34] Um.

[02:19:36] Merit, or, uh, Marcel, your, your, um, phone rings.

[02:19:41] And it's so neck.

[02:19:44] Do you pick it up?

[02:19:46] I pick it up.

[02:19:47] Yes, sir.

[02:19:48] But all you hear is.

[02:19:51] Yeah, actually.

[02:19:53] What?

[02:19:54] What's up, Aaron?

[02:19:54] Don't forget your coffee.

[02:19:56] Oh, shit.

[02:19:57] Thank you.

[02:19:58] That's stone cold.

[02:19:59] Yeah, it is.

[02:20:00] But then it's fun.

[02:20:02] Yeah, so when I was like, it's like, uh, what's your last name again?

[02:20:05] In the game?

[02:20:06] Landry.

[02:20:07] Mr. Landry.

[02:20:09] Mr. Landry.

[02:20:10] He's like trying to, he sounds like he's shouting far away.

[02:20:14] No, he is technically.

[02:20:15] Yeah.

[02:20:15] Well, and then eventually like, like it's like, it's like, you finally start getting

[02:20:19] clarity.

[02:20:19] It's like, uh, Mr. Landry, are, is that you?

[02:20:24] Are you there?

[02:20:25] I believe it is in fact me, sir.

[02:20:28] My God, you survived that.

[02:20:31] Like, you actually survived that.

[02:20:33] Uh, we're getting the report, I'm getting the reports in now.

[02:20:36] Um, the jets took out two Cressys south of the, uh, south of the lake and, uh, fired

[02:20:42] on your coordinates.

[02:20:44] You're, you're the center of, you were still at the center of that?

[02:20:49] Yes, sir.

[02:20:51] God damn.

[02:20:53] Did you see the van?

[02:20:55] They flipped the bitch.

[02:20:58] Well, um...

[02:20:59] My ex-ville has been, uh, reduced to rubble.

[02:21:04] Yes, uh, well, we'll be, uh, we'll be, we'll be contacting you about the, uh, about the, the

[02:21:10] favor we, you, you asked, you called in, you called in for.

[02:21:13] Uh, and, um, we'll be, uh, we'll be taking the, uh, we'll be deducting the, uh, the two

[02:21:21] that we, we took out on our own.

[02:21:23] But, uh, good job, I suppose.

[02:21:26] Um, even if it needed some assistance.

[02:21:29] Uh.

[02:21:30] In the background I'm waking up, I'm like, where's the browning?

[02:21:33] Is the browning okay?

[02:21:35] You want to roll perception?

[02:21:39] Oh no, oh no.

[02:21:45] That's bad.

[02:21:47] Twelve?

[02:21:48] Odds are evens.

[02:21:50] Oh fuck, I rolled evens.

[02:21:52] Okay.

[02:21:53] You find it, it's slagged.

[02:21:56] No!

[02:21:57] Mend!

[02:21:59] Yeah, mend!

[02:22:01] Also, uh, don't, don't worry about the cover up here. Uh, we've also got some helicopters

[02:22:05] on the way from St. Pierre to, uh, to add, to lay down a proper cover story for the rest of

[02:22:10] these, uh, for these, for these missiles.

[02:22:13] There's a pretty good one already in place!

[02:22:16] Have a ranching fever!

[02:22:17] I don't think that's gonna fly with two fucking missiles we're used to take out, like, a small

[02:22:23] lakeside community.

[02:22:24] We really didn't want it to spread.

[02:22:27] Yeah.

[02:22:27] Were they missiles or bombs?

[02:22:29] They were missiles.

[02:22:30] I, I, sorry, I, it, I use that as the term, it's missiles.

[02:22:35] Okay.

[02:22:36] They were, they were, yeah, they were missiles.

[02:22:37] They sound the same.

[02:22:39] Do they?

[02:22:40] Yeah.

[02:22:41] It's just shit coming in, it was like very high speed.

[02:22:44] Like, that's basically, like what?

[02:22:45] You're not gonna hear the rock engine, you're gonna hear the sound break.

[02:22:48] Yeah.

[02:22:48] Yeah.

[02:22:49] So, that's what, that's what you just heard, like, yeah.

[02:22:51] I was also just using that for the flavor of like, like what you guys, like the tension

[02:22:55] building and some of that, so.

[02:22:57] Anyway.

[02:22:58] Literally some asshole keeps mounting those deer deterrent things on the front of them.

[02:23:05] I would totally do that.

[02:23:06] I would totally do that.

[02:23:07] Right?

[02:23:08] But yeah.

[02:23:08] So, um, yeah, you guys can, uh, you guys are gonna have to find a way to get back out

[02:23:13] of here and get back to St. John's without your van.

[02:23:16] Cause the van is gone.

[02:23:18] You could use a Gartha.

[02:23:21] You could see if you could find a portal.

[02:23:23] There's a quick way.

[02:23:26] Hey, I'm, I'm also, I also, I also do want to veto that, that, that, that idea because

[02:23:32] like, that's fucked up.

[02:23:33] Oh, I know.

[02:23:34] We're not gonna do it.

[02:23:35] It's just.

[02:23:35] We're not gonna do it, but we are gonna joke about it.

[02:23:37] It's ridiculous that the game is set up, that that is the best option.

[02:23:41] We just pile all the grenades into the crater and pull all pins at once.

[02:23:47] We'll either wipe the pin of Gartha or airborne enough we can get back to town.

[02:23:54] Or we'll land and then die and then show up.

[02:23:57] The person we can say that like, when the helicopters to cover up do show up, that you

[02:24:01] guys can covertly like hop on one and get, ride back to them.

[02:24:04] You guys give me an hour to rest.

[02:24:07] I can become a draft horse.

[02:24:12] Or a moose.

[02:24:13] Or a moose.

[02:24:15] That would be so, that would be such a new feeling.

[02:24:18] Like, yeah, we're just driving, some tourists are just driving down the Trans-Canada Highway

[02:24:22] We just saw fucking, two guys on a moose riding like it was a horse.

[02:24:28] That's Canada for you.

[02:24:29] Two guys beat to shit sitting on a moose.

[02:24:34] I didn't realize they had moose on their first responders.

[02:24:39] But yeah, so, what I'll do is I'll just have like, after like a few, like after about like 10-20 minutes

[02:24:47] some black helicopters show up with the, with the Templar cross on them.

[02:24:53] Ah, good.

[02:24:55] His red cross.

[02:24:56] Well no, they show up, they like, a bunch of them, a bunch of the people on them like go

[02:25:00] out to do some like, bail out scenario stuff to the locals who survived.

[02:25:08] And then some people with medics, some medic outfits come over to you guys and like,

[02:25:12] treat your wounds.

[02:25:14] And it's like, anywhere we can drop you guys off, you guys want to head back to,

[02:25:17] you're heading back to, uh, Templar HQ.

[02:25:21] Oh, St. John's?

[02:25:22] Yeah, we can send you guys to St. John's.

[02:25:25] I think it's on the way to St. Pierre.

[02:25:26] No, it's actually like, it's a detour.

[02:25:31] It's fine, they can afford it.

[02:25:34] And yeah, you guys, a day later, you're back in the debriefing room at, in Belle Island.

[02:25:40] With Jack.

[02:25:42] It's like, well boys, uh, that was, that was a hell of a clusterfuck situation.

[02:25:50] Yeah, clusterfuck is a good idea.

[02:25:53] The bad news is, we didn't, we're not getting all of the, the bounty money for the, the Cressys

[02:25:57] that were involved.

[02:25:59] Mm-hmm.

[02:25:59] Um, but, we did manage to get, we did manage to negotiate with the, the Templar

[02:26:04] about the ones that you guys, uh, helped, uh, helped whittle down.

[02:26:10] Or you guys were involved in and conflicted, um, when they dropped the, uh, the missiles on you.

[02:26:16] Um, Sonak said something about like, um, services, or like, something about, um, being goddamn heroes

[02:26:24] for the cause.

[02:26:26] It's, we're laying your lives down the line for, for the, for the cause of the Templar.

[02:26:31] I don't know, some, some bullshit like that.

[02:26:32] I get that a lot.

[02:26:34] Um, so we're, we're, we're getting medals?

[02:26:37] Hmm?

[02:26:38] Do we get medals?

[02:26:39] Well, you'll have to go talk to Richard about it.

[02:26:40] He said something that you guys owe him a favor, like you guys have to go on a mission

[02:26:43] for the Templars, uh, which I figure we got some, uh, you guys probably deserve a few, a

[02:26:48] few days off work.

[02:26:50] A few hours.

[02:26:52] No, this will be a couple days.

[02:26:53] Um, or sometime, uh, in the next, like, few weeks.

[02:26:57] Uh, in-game.

[02:26:58] Uh, but, uh, yeah, so, so what I'm seeing here on your, on your dossier, what you, the report

[02:27:03] here, um, uh, that you guys dealt with some cultists and some kind of demon, some kind of

[02:27:11] lizard demon thing.

[02:27:13] And they were responsible for our loss over at the SCP station.

[02:27:18] Uh, so, well, I mean, it's a demon, it's a demon dead, so that's about, that's about

[02:27:23] 30,000 right there.

[02:27:25] Um, and you managed to keep that.

[02:27:28] That one was nailed out properly.

[02:27:30] That one was good.

[02:27:31] Uh, the, we're actually getting some money for, from the one at the Twin Lakes Junction,

[02:27:40] from the Innsmouth Academy, oddly enough.

[02:27:42] They're giving us 10,000 for that, for that specimen.

[02:27:45] Yep.

[02:27:46] Yep.

[02:27:46] Um, and then the Templars are willing to fork out another 10,000 each for the two that you,

[02:27:52] or for the three that you guys, uh, took down in, um, or helped assist, take down in

[02:27:58] the, uh, the Crooked Lake area.

[02:28:01] So I guess that's about, uh, 40,000 for the, for the Cressys.

[02:28:06] And, oh no, 50,000 because there was a Cressy at the, uh,

[02:28:10] it's SCP Station you guys didn't care of.

[02:28:12] Mm-hmm.

[02:28:12] So 50,000 for that, and about 30,000 for the, for the demon.

[02:28:18] So 80,000.

[02:28:19] Yep.

[02:28:20] But we lost the Mystery Machine.

[02:28:22] What about the cultists?

[02:28:24] Um, that's actually something, uh, do, would I, I mean they're, they're, they're just humans

[02:28:28] that are followers of the supernatural creature.

[02:28:29] Would that count?

[02:28:31] I'm saying they have supernatural powers.

[02:28:34] No, they did not.

[02:28:35] They were using shotguns and flamethrowers.

[02:28:37] Yes, but did they perform a ritual that brought in the demon?

[02:28:42] True.

[02:28:44] That's true, yeah.

[02:28:46] I, I'd say maybe like, maybe for humans, like, like human, like cultists and stuff, like 500

[02:28:49] a piece.

[02:28:51] Basically like 500 a head.

[02:28:53] I mean it's better than nothing.

[02:28:54] Yeah, something.

[02:28:56] They weren't too tough.

[02:28:58] Yeah.

[02:28:58] They paid for some bullets for browning.

[02:29:01] Yeah.

[02:29:02] They gotta pay for browning.

[02:29:02] So, and there's three, so like it'll be about 1500 for the three, the three cultists

[02:29:06] that were there, so.

[02:29:07] Okay.

[02:29:10] So, yeah, um, this job basically got you guys, it racked you guys in, uh, 80,000 plus

[02:29:16] cultists, so 81,500.

[02:29:19] Mm-hmm.

[02:29:19] Or 91,500, right?

[02:29:21] Or, no, no, 81,500, you're right, yeah.

[02:29:23] Yeah, 90, no, 81,500.

[02:29:24] Yep.

[02:29:26] Um, well we went to a $20,000 van and a whole bunch of money.

[02:29:30] And we went to a bunch of Warner in our moments.

[02:29:32] The bullets, yeah.

[02:29:33] So we're making nothing on this job.

[02:29:35] We did not come out ahead on this job.

[02:29:36] No.

[02:29:37] Well, okay, so 81 less 20 grand for the van, so that takes us down to 61.

[02:29:43] How much did the Browning cost us?

[02:29:46] I don't remember.

[02:29:46] 14,500.

[02:29:48] Okay.

[02:29:51] Okay.

[02:29:53] Uh, 61, 51, uh, 47, 48.

[02:30:01] 47,500 is what we're down to from this job.

[02:30:04] Mm-hmm.

[02:30:04] So we still almost made 50 grand.

[02:30:07] Mm-hmm.

[02:30:07] And still almost died.

[02:30:09] Yeah.

[02:30:10] Yeah, but that's, like, not actually a thing.

[02:30:14] I mean, it is.

[02:30:15] It still sucks when you die.

[02:30:17] Yes.

[02:30:19] Also, I don't know what this we almost died is you're talking about.

[02:30:24] Yeah, really.

[02:30:24] It was just me that got beat to shit.

[02:30:27] Yeah.

[02:30:27] I mean, all of us almost died in an explosion.

[02:30:30] True.

[02:30:30] From bomb missiles.

[02:30:31] I did get beat to shit repeatedly.

[02:30:33] It just never affected my hit points.

[02:30:36] That's true, yeah.

[02:30:37] Son of a bitch.

[02:30:39] But, uh, yeah.

[02:30:40] I was three quarters dead at one point, like, at the start of this episode.

[02:30:44] True.

[02:30:47] But yeah, so that will conclude Cressy's in July, which is the scenario I came out of this.

[02:30:53] Ooh.

[02:30:54] I need to work on it, I think.

[02:30:57] Like, I'm definitely going to take some things that you were suggesting there, Dave, from the

[02:31:00] last session where, like, add the cultist attack.

[02:31:03] The cultist ambush should be in the town when you guys are actually investigating, and you

[02:31:06] find the cabin just, like, in the state it's in, but there's nothing there to the ambush.

[02:31:10] Yeah, so you're encouraging the poor to actually investigate.

[02:31:14] Yeah.

[02:31:15] In terms of, like, this part where it's like, basically, like, the game starts as, like,

[02:31:18] an investigation and, like, finding shit has gone foobar and, like, having to do a bug

[02:31:23] hunt or, like, chase down some monsters before they get to a certain location.

[02:31:29] How was that?

[02:31:30] Was that, or did, what needs to be improved?

[02:31:33] I mean, we literally did chase them down as fast as we could.

[02:31:36] Yeah.

[02:31:37] And burned them down as fast as we could when we got there.

[02:31:40] Mm-hmm.

[02:31:40] And we got to the final location, and shit had still gone completely sideways.

[02:31:45] Yeah, I think maybe I will.

[02:31:46] It kind of felt like no matter what we did, it would have ended up the way it is.

[02:31:50] Yeah, I feel like maybe I should lower, because the way I was, the way I had set it up originally

[02:31:55] was that there were three locations that there were going to be crassies that you had to hunt down.

[02:32:00] There's one at the junction, there's three at the lakeside community, and then there's

[02:32:05] another two at a campgrounds on the southern part of that lake.

[02:32:09] Mm-hmm.

[02:32:09] And then if you guys couldn't get them all by that point, they were going to make it

[02:32:13] to the river out to Badger, which is, like, where all the infrastructure for, like, the dams

[02:32:18] and stuff in Newfoundland are.

[02:32:19] Yeah.

[02:32:19] Because, yeah, like, basically the problem was we would deal with one, and then we would

[02:32:23] have to spend five, ten, fifteen minutes dealing with the situation of dealing with that one.

[02:32:29] Yeah.

[02:32:29] Which is letting the other ones get further away.

[02:32:31] Yeah.

[02:32:31] I was trying to create, like, kind of a harrowing sort of, like, chase situation here.

[02:32:36] It was harrowing.