ADR - Episode 651: An Anomaly has Spread Through the Town of Frost Hollow…

[00:00:16] Hello and welcome to Al Dente Rigamortis. I'm Review Cultist. I'm Mikey, the East Ends Reval. And I'm the Gamer in Yellow. And we're here to discuss those internet stories, most creepy and most pasta, and be critically silly doing it. And tonight we have... An Anomaly has Spread Through the Town of Frost Hollow. Soon after, I heard the radio screech out a list of rules. That's right, it's a Reddit No Sleep Story, obviously.

[00:00:47] Because it's No Sleep November! Oh, I meant mainly because the entire... the title is an entire sentence with punctuation. Yes, but that's the reason is why we're doing No Sleep Story. Specifically, this month, because it's November, No Sleep, They Sound Similar, Gimmick. Damn right. Yeah.

[00:01:09] So we're gonna take a break from Tewahway Tales to do some No Sleep Stories for a few weeks. And then we'll be moving on to SCP-Sember. And then we'll get back to doing some other creeppastas. Hell yeah. Yeah. So yeah, we are covering this one. Like I said, An Anomaly Has Spread Through the Town of Frost Hollow. That's how I'm... that's the title for me. You know what the title is? Not me.

[00:01:37] The title is the Frost Hollow Anomaly. That's what it is. Yeah, it legitimately should just be that. Like jumping straight into my notes, but that's what it should be. No, absolutely. Like, yeah, never change Reddit No Sleep, but please change, you know? Yeah, it's so ridiculous. Yeah. Like, it's... I don't know if it's actually like a joke outside of our podcast, but it's definitely like a trope.

[00:02:07] Yeah. Reddit No Sleep story is having super long sentence names. Mm-hmm. But, um... Yeah, so if you'd like, you can check this one out on Reddit No Sleep, obviously. Um... Link will be in the description so you don't have to type in the entire sentences. Yeah. Uh, this story, uh, is by CIA Herpes on No Sleep. And, uh, yeah, I guess we should do our initial recommendations. Uh, I'm, I'm gonna partially recommend it.

[00:02:38] I'm not gonna recommend it. I'm also on the not category today. Okay, that's fair. We'll see if your positivity can sway me to partial though. I was like kind of on the fence, but I'm like, nah, I fell off. Yeah. Don't worry. Recent news has definitely, uh, like put some sour note in our reality. So yeah, no, it's, it's, it's, uh, understandable. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You're just like, nah, doom and gloom. Um, but yeah, I suppose we'll find out, uh, why we get it.

[00:03:07] I'll give those partial and not recommendations, uh, starting with the rundown. So Laura, a woman who recently lost her child, died in the crib, gets, uh, gets up in the morning to have a cup of coffee, realizing her husband, Jack doesn't seem to be home. Jack was hit pretty hard as well by the passing of their kid and has been acting unusual of late, hanging out with strange men and such.

[00:03:34] While on their porch, Laura notices a strange distortion in the air down the street, but doesn't pay it any mind. Uh, then she finds a woman's severed head in the freezer when looking for chicken strips. Then a siren goes off somewhere and the world becomes old, dusty, and rusted as black mist flows, uh, flows into the house.

[00:03:57] Um, the head has a note from Jack telling her all these awful things he's been doing recently. And as she finishes reading the note, Jack pops out of the closet. He's crazed, or he's crazed looking, swirling with darkness and wielding a knife. And it may not be exactly Jack because he calls himself friend, whatever this, this thing is possessing Jack or taking on Jack's face.

[00:04:29] Uh, he then attacks Laura and in the scuffle, they end up outside on the front porch again, where their senior neighbor bones arrives and shoots Jack, fending him off for now. Bones explains that the distortion and the black mist has taken over the town and everything is old and rusted now.

[00:04:51] They then hear Jack's voice on a radio explaining that in order to get out of this version of the world, they need to find a doorway of light that creatures are hunting about that can assume human disguise and they can be killed by shooting the red eye in their head. Also, there are safe havens of sorts that look like gas stations and the like called Hell's Market.

[00:05:18] But you have to watch out for Hell herself when you enter them. Bones and Laura head downtown where friend ambushes them and impales Bones, killing him. Laura goes for the gun and shoots friend, which creates an explosion that destroys him and most of Bones.

[00:05:38] She heads further along, finds a young girl named Marion near Marion's strung up dead mom, and Laura takes Marion with her. Then they encounter several large horse insect monsters, and after a few not so close calls, they run to a Hell's Market, they notice.

[00:06:03] In here, they find a convenience store like space, lit and fresh, very different from outside. The monsters don't seem to enter into the market, but they are waiting outside. It's here that Hell, as in described the Norse goddess of the dead, comes up from the basement doorway, dragging Jack bound in barbed wire.

[00:06:34] Laura finds out Jack was involved with a crazy local church, trying to bring about the apocalypse so that God would return. And, Hell scoffs at this, remarking that they didn't know what they were doing. Jack sacrifices himself to open a door of light, and Laura and Marion rush through after fighting off Hell. there's a blinding light and then they are back at

[00:07:03] Laura's house pre-anomaly pre-distortion though still with a woman's head in the freezer Finn so yeah that was the Frost Hollow anomaly that's a lot easier to say it it so much is yeah but yeah I suppose we'll move on to everyone tolerates the grammar inquisitions at this point

[00:07:32] personally I only have one and it's really more of just like I learned a new word so the cyclonic clouds peeled away like old scabs some pale light came casting everything in a cyanotic light and then I was like what the heck does cyanotic mean and kind of like it's kind of in the word as I looked at the description because it's basically a bluish or purple discoloration of the skin lips

[00:08:01] nail beds or mucous membrane caused by a low level in oxygen in the blood and cyan is a kind of a hue of blue or like a type of blue so it kind of makes sense now that I've looked at that yeah learned a new word oh yeah but uh that's all I have so Mikey the East Dance for Evil uh I have a conjunction junction of course you do

[00:08:30] and next stop conjunction junction it appeared unslept in which I found strange as he worked the night shift and would nearly always be home and in bed by three or four a.m. but ever since he had found our newborn daughter dead in her crib he had been acting

[00:08:59] strange disappearing at random hours and occasionally bringing a friend home it expanded into a perfectly flat wall it cut across trees homes and cars hang on the friend expanded into a wall because the friend was like yeah the friend was done in quotes there

[00:09:28] oh god this is a buddy horror my husband became best friends with an anomaly sorry continue it shattered spraying drops of burning hot liquid all over my legs the anomaly no sorry no the guy oh yeah the guy yes yes it

[00:09:58] came loose with a wet sucking sound it rose and fell in shrill wails for a few seconds it was a woman with raven black hair and blue eyes probably in her early twenties it's probably a good thing I think it all started innocently

[00:10:28] enough peeking in people's windows when they weren't looking or stalking random joggers for days without being to get away with it it seems more like wandering across an endless desert sometimes but eventually I would stumble across noasis a resting place

[00:10:58] in this never ending life of shit or at least that other piece of my personality did it was all to keep people on their toes you know but still I always kept my pistol on me it seemed perfect but the man must have heard my

[00:11:28] footsteps so says the savior it's time to finish this letter before I start to sound crazy it didn't make any sense it started low like the first rumblings of an earthquake it flicked quickly to the left and right the pupil dilated and insane

[00:11:58] it quivered there its tip stuck deeply in the wooden floor it might be a bedroom door a window even a kitchen cabinet or a box but you'll know them by the shadows that surround them but the speaker only gave a hiss of static

[00:12:27] as the radio died in my hands but we need to start moving it could be worse out there than it is here so how do you get the pistol it swirled in a dark blue hurricane meeting in a black eye at the center it

[00:12:57] made contact with a fleshy thud it had no mouth or nose that i could see but fine silvery hairs covered its jointed arms and legs it's the church of the final rapture but first they say they need to kill a lot of people and make the battle happen

[00:13:26] and she was right it was beautiful so what happened it had the body of a struggling old man in its insectile jaws its snout was rounded with two nostril holes its wailing intensified until I thought my

[00:13:55] eardrums might explode it exploded it was they in fact explode it was the only building with electricity that I could see it felt air conditioned and cool it looked like a regular convenience store but in the back I

[00:14:25] saw a doorless threshold with stairs that led down into a shadowy basement it came down with a crunch fin so the convenience store thing just collapsed like the building collapsed on them and that's it I was waiting for another um it came down with a crunch it was a squirrel oh man that squirrel has epic

[00:14:55] tear really but for those unaware Mikey grabs all the sentences throw it a story that stir with words that they probably shouldn't like its ends or all right gamer do we have a grammar in yellow

[00:15:26] uh no actually I don't all right then let us move on to actual thoughts so I'm gonna start with this one here the day that it all started I rose around dawn to see the muted gleam of an infant sunrise shining through the window oh god it's that Teletubbies baby son again god damn it uh just uh you know reference the last episode I think we had

[00:15:56] where we talked about a a son from a I think from conjunction junction um where like a son was like being described as like a person and some of that context notes so yeah also to be fair Teletubbies is like like as a kids show it's fine but like when you look at it from an adult point of view it's kind of terrifying and weird absolutely yeah um but I'll move on to the next thing I

[00:16:46] the people he brought were always young glassy eyed guys I had never seen before who often followed him around in an eerie silence like ducklings following a mother duck and at this point even in the story I was like all right wow yeah buck like first off already starting off with like some trauma and um yeah did you ever ask your husband why like who these

[00:17:15] guys were and and what your your husband was doing with them like seems like a little bit of a red flag I mean like I get like people process grief and stuff in different ways and such but um and then and then there's an update to my notes because it's all like like what I took right off the hop but then update well we find out what Laura's husband was doing with those guys eventually turns out they were part of some church

[00:17:45] support that he was with yes but I'll move on to the next thing I have

[00:18:22] oh okay so Laura's just slipped into one of those silent hill dimensions you know like the fog realm or like the rust realm and stuff of that and honestly given her past tragedies and the anomaly that she spotted earlier down the street honestly that seems kind of like less and less a joke and might actually be what's going on honestly is like but I mean yeah it's an alternate dimension that's what's happening right yeah no this is very

[00:18:51] silent hill is what I'm getting here yeah like it's less of a reference and more of it's a church cult trying to raise a god or both so honestly this could be either

[00:19:21] or so and then the next thing I have this strange monster wearing Jack's face continued moving closer seeming to draw power from the changes his eyes darkened in a flash turning black and cloudy the cyclone of shadows twisting around his body moved faster a curtain of darkness so thick that it started to obscure his face

[00:19:52] so Jack's just been taken by the dark presence a la Alan Wake now another video game reference aside what the hell is happening this has got to be of course you would it's cold and dark but this has got to be like Laura's worst day second only to the loss of her child like or maybe again like this is sort of like I don't know I

[00:20:43] victim in the freezer like maybe it turns out her husband was secretly a serial killer and then she found out about it and that just was the needle in the haystack or not needle that was the final straw that broke the camel's back that just shattered her psyche and put her into the

[00:21:13] all basically kind of in her head and she's just like hallucinating all these things yeah but yeah I do that that aside though I do like no hang on where am I where am I in this hang on yeah honestly like my other part of my note here was kind of just echoing what we were talking about like just because of how much weird shit is going on this day for Laura like

[00:21:42] this story kind of throws everything but the kitchen sink at Laura in terms of like the weirdness and like escalating things so well but it does throw the kitchen sink does it yeah it was bleeding earlier oh you're right there oh my god there is the kitchen sink it does yeah it literally throws everything and the kitchen sink at Laura yeah this story has a new title Laura's no good very bad day yeah no seriously

[00:22:12] but I'll move on to the next thing this isn't the real world a man screamed over the radio I immediately recognized it I immediately recognized the terrified voice of Jack my heart dropped into my stomach don't believe anything you see or hear here the anomaly is spreading Laura I know you can hear me I'm sorry for everything listen to get out of this there are a few things

[00:22:42] you need to remember first you should know there are gateways in this place portals that lead back to our world you can recognize them by the blinding white light radiating from them it might be a bedroom door a window even a kitchen cabinet or a box they form randomly throughout the anomaly and are highly unstable often lasting only a few seconds if you find one take it immediately these are your only way home and then there's like two other

[00:23:12] rules and such about like with the creatures and like the safe haven and as I'm reading these like rules and stuff I was like did this creepypasta just become a lit RPG like with rules and everything yeah yeah I like legitimately started to get flashbacks to dungeon crawl a carl yeah I have notes on that it literally just feels like a video game at this point yeah and and like that is like like a very popular and versioning like like fiction

[00:23:42] genre right now so it connective tissues time I suppose this is also kind of what's going on but it's like I've never seen a creepypasta lit RPG but I I was kind of for that idea but unfortunately the story doesn't entirely handle it that well no at least in terms of the writing like the it kind of rushes a lot of stuff like I think this could have been like fleshed out a bit

[00:24:12] more the thing that made it the thing that made it feel the most like a video game or dungeon crawler carl is like when it got to the part talking about the gas stations called hell and stuff like that it's like in this thing that's supposed to be some hellish landscape it's almost like there's someone trying to keep the people alive during like between point a and point b for like views and stuff yeah exactly or like yeah it's very much like it kind of feels

[00:24:42] like again like a safe house or like one of those safe spots between missions or between runs in left for dead and such so it's very much one of those things and the story doesn't explain why those exist they just get there they spend five minutes there hell shows up and then they leave there's like no that's the one spot where you need exposition and there's not yeah exactly like I do feel like this what the story is trying to do or if that

[00:25:12] is kind of what the story is trying to do I'm not entirely sure but just from reading the story it seems like it's trying to be like a lit RPG kind of style thing where all this is happening and if that's the case like it needs a little bit more work for in that regard because I do like the

[00:25:49] RPG is lit RPGs again we reference Dungeon Caller Carl lit RPGs or literary role playing game is a genre of science fiction and fantasy like writing like novels and stuff like that where video game mechanics are level up and

[00:26:19] themselves in yeah but like in this instance it's less like an MMO it's more like the video game is Silent Hill yeah exactly like this and like I do love that idea trust me like I've run games on One Less Die our sister podcast where we've run games where we play with the idea that game mechanics and stuff are bleeding into the real world like I love that idea and that's kind of what I was getting from the vibes of this story and I was

[00:26:49] like but it wasn't doing it enough or it wasn't explaining enough no like right at the gate it needs some sort sort of there's mundane horror being explained for a little while

[00:27:19] and then a light switch flips and then all of a you actually you kind of brought up something there though because

[00:27:49] like dungeon crawler carl like first chapter like even the first couple of pages it killing anyone inside

[00:28:20] but the difference is well while we do get some stuff in this story like through the radio and through bones in dungeon carl like i don't know it just it wasn't enough i guess yeah

[00:28:51] it was either too much or not enough i can't get a feel for it honestly we didn't get a we fair comparison because judge carl carl is an entire novel

[00:29:21] this is not it doesn't have the right time to explain everything no that is go to their profile link

[00:29:50] and the story has been archived so you have to restart basically this it can't be added on to gotcha and yeah i'm not saying like i'm not like i'm not meaning to compare this to dcc like one for one i'm just the first or just the first popular oh no yeah it was it was just the one

[00:30:20] that's like pulled it pulled that uh it's so yeah it's unfortunate

[00:30:50] which it probably had to because of its limited runtime uh i mean i suppose again it could well because again like it only gets archived if like it's been a while since the story has been like posted so i understand i'm just along some stuff or you'd have to cut out things to

[00:31:20] slow things down if you want to keep it this length you know that's what i meant by runtime gotcha yeah yeah like if the guy didn't want to do like a multi-parter and just wanted to make one consolidated thing but we see this in other creep pastas like elsewhere like where a story like has a good thing going at the start and then as it gets closer and closer to the end it almost feels like the author is like just rushing to get to the end

[00:32:11] with a single L she doesn't like visitors Jack where the hell that's with two L's are you where the hell are you I screamed at the radio running over and shaking it like a crying baby hearing random pieces inside the old gadget giving a metallic rattle so I know Laura is freaking out and is traumatized by all of this and previous things but I kind of want I like this is very critically silly of

[00:32:41] me but I kind of wanted her to say speaking of Jack where the hell are we where the hell are you just like because of the whole because pronunciating hell and hell like but the way when he

[00:33:11] says don't stay in there too long though or you might see hell she doesn't like visitors and I just thought it would be funny if Laura just was like speaking of Jack where the hell are you I guess I'm the only one that found that but like if

[00:33:41] you want to try to keep it like in with the tension up I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to be critically silly only you two apparently I'm glad you agree yeah fuck me I'll move on to the next thing though get a straight man and we're the fools that's how next thing

[00:34:10] here so my next thing here is this quote why do you keep taking Jack's form I asked friend the gun feeling heavy in my trembling hands why just him I can take the form of any who are part of the church of final of the yeah yeah I can take the form of any who are part of the church of the final rapture those

[00:34:40] who have given their souls to the dark presence here he hissed cryptically and to this I was like oh shit my also I gotta say right here like regarding friend I do like the shape shifting entity

[00:35:09] being called friend like it could be an allusion to who it turns into to get closer to its victims an allusion yeah like allusion not not an illusion like like an image or something being projected but an allusion as in like something like it's alluding to something oh I've never heard that

[00:35:39] word before really yeah okay well you've learned yeah you learned a new word it's basically just another version of alluding to something yeah gotcha yeah but yeah um I just like the idea that the the friend the name friend is this creature's name because that's that's the kind of person it uses to get close to its victims and like that's I don't I kind of like that as like it's like it's gimmick or it's or if that's like sort of like why it's called that yeah he's trying to be friend shaped exactly he's

[00:36:09] friend shaped but then he's he's friend shaped to food friends are food definitely food uh also also um I guess we know what jack was actually doing with those guys recently he apparently found a church support group and in the aftermath of the tragic loss of their child yeah maybe or he's just been in that child

[00:36:38] oh fuck i didn't even think of that because like yeah see and this is the other problem i kind of feel like the story probably

[00:37:08] as you said because of the tragic loss he was seeking help elsewhere and he ran into this kooky church yeah like that's that's how i thought although you bring that up also really it's like well he is also the one that found the child dead in

[00:37:41] connective issues time in regards to murdering a child yes actually i've recently been getting into like checking out the epic the musical stuff which is basically an online like indie musical of of like musicians and like animators making animatics for the songs um and it's like a musical version of the odyssey and like one of the first songs is about Odysseus uh like uh basically um taking

[00:38:11] out troy and then also in the process like through that like during that sacking of troy um zeus tells Odysseus to kill a child like to kill a baby in a crib and spoilers he does like spoilers for a thousands year old poem um one of the oldest pieces of literature uh that we currently have um but yeah um there's yeah Odysseus kills um a child that uh zeus says

[00:38:41] will be evil or become a monster but in so doing he starts in the musical anyway he starts grappling with the whole like am i the monster yeah for for killing this child that was destined to be a monster or at least like was being said was going to be destined to be a monster so yeah anyway yeah that's my connective issues down there with that it's just like and and and that just kind of came up because you brought into focus the fact that like maybe Jack killed the child killed their killed their child as part of the

[00:39:11] initiation for the church so rather than the church coming after the tragedy of the child's death and being like he went there as like a form of support but then got mingled into this cult as trying to summon the rapture in the second coming yeah um but i'll move on to the next thing i have uh little girl what are you doing here i asked she grabbed my shirt pushing her small face against my thigh

[00:39:41] i i don't trust this little girl like i'm sorry but rule number two on the radio said there were creatures here that can be anyone and anything your lucky bones turned out to be human you know on account of dying like one yeah jack said like don't trust anyone or anything like yeah like even him saying that isn't trustworthy like it could be anyone saying that with yeah exactly yeah

[00:40:10] it but yeah no like as soon as the kit like like it definitely felt like some kind of like foreshadowing and there's even a bit later on in the story that i'll bring

[00:40:49] like a rabid animal marion ran forward sinking her sharp teeth into hell's wrist i felt the grip release my back smashing hard against the floor why does she have sharp teeth why is that the description we got did laura bring a demon thing disguised as a child back to our world i didn't see it like that i saw it as just like you know human teeth are sharp enough to cut through flesh

[00:41:19] that is true there are like canines and stuff like that for in human teeth or in the human teeth system um but i don't know maybe it's because i was already sus or already suspecting marion of being a doppelganger yeah being a mimic um might be a demon but just just because she's a bad guy doesn't mean she's a bad guy and you know what i know the story does end with like

[00:41:48] laura and marion getting back to the real world and it's like all right and like it's sort of like a nice thing where it's like yeah it's horrible like all the stuff she experienced in that other place but now they're back in the real world she doesn't have a husband or a daughter anymore marion doesn't have a mother it's basically like now now it's sort of like oh now they now they have each other like a mother and a daughter and it

[00:42:40] give us more suspicion of that that would be really cool yeah because it was the blue eyes right oh you're right god damn yeah I want again this is just hearkening back to my idea that or my my thoughts that this story needed to be need to have a longer run time a little bit more time to breathe and like explain things and like build off of things so

[00:43:10] but I will move on to the next thing actually another one example of that is how do you know how do you not know it's the church of the final rapture they're trying to spread this dot dot dot she waved a dirty hand around for emphasis wiping tears from her bloodshot eyes also her eyes are bloodshot like friend was in the

[00:43:42] my comment for this quote it's just something I just realized with that more evidence to the more evidence exactly more evidence to Marion being among us that's my third video game reference but you gotta get good scrub yeah but yeah so I kind of like so regarding this

[00:44:12] like Laura not knowing about the church and such I kind of wish that she at least like there was like something in the okay a church with that's like this with their goals where they are I don't think they want to be

[00:44:42] widely known yeah but but then like the one of Marion's mother like Laura had at least heard of them like not even like specifically just like

[00:45:12] a rumor about them or like heard of them just to like further connect her to like the town she's living in and such so the child said that the child said like how do you how do you not know it's the it's the church of the final rapture yes but the child is in this weird dimension yeah um and that child isn't necessarily from the same town oh that's true like yeah you know what i keep thinking that this is like

[00:45:42] a like a hell version of the town that marion and them or that laura and jack and bones lived in but we do get late like earlier on we do get like looks of these like things in the background like almost like they were pulled into this place so it's not actually like a one for one duplicate of their original town so it

[00:46:26] stuff that they were wearing earlier today before all this shit happened they were wearing rags they're dirty so she's been there for a long time yeah enough time that like her mother got strung up and yeah so yeah all right i'll let that one go hold that one go for now let's slide uh i'll move on to the next thing i have though uh so this is again mary and continue i think talking about like literally like what her mom said

[00:46:55] about like the church is my next quote um they think if they can spread this bad place far enough then it will lead to the final judgment and jesus will come back and good will finally win but first they say they need to kill a lot of bad people and they need to kill a lot of people and make the battle happen she shook her small head they're crazy a bunch of religious nuts mommy always said and she was right

[00:47:25] look at what look what they did to her so at this point i was jason muse and uh jay and silent bob like come up come up the hill and just like well i need to like bring christ back to the world

[00:47:56] um yeah like there's been there were some like some talks on podcasts like after red state came out where kevin had an idea for an alternate ending where like um the bell tolling at the end spoilers for red state um instead of like the ending the rapture kind of stuff happening that was happening at the end of red state being just like a mundane thing on the on the on the cult family

[00:48:25] um he if he had more money and more time and budget he was he kind of was like tinkering with the idea that like a like it turns out the weird creepy family was right all along about what was going on so so that's the intended ending that was that was the intent oh that was it wasn't even like an intended it was just like an idea he was playing with if they had more money um

[00:48:56] but I'll move on to the next thing uh oh yeah so this and with hell there in the convenience store the church of the final rapture yes we tried to spread the anomaly to end all suffering to cause god to notice us again and come back senpai notice us yeah that's exactly what I felt like

[00:49:27] much like myself hell laughed at that and sounded like a grating metal or and sounded like grating metal oh I sound like grating metal foolish men she gurgled you shouldn't you shouldn't have played with things you didn't understand so this kind of like again the the thing about like the church stuff and like them trying

[00:50:08] on on the one hand this church trying to kick start the rapture and the second coming of christ but then hell is straight up a figure of norse myth yep um but then again a lot of christian traditions and even like demonology that's associated with christianity does borrow from pagan beliefs and entities so it it's not entirely

[00:50:38] didn't know what they were really doing so maybe the group just like really got it wrong like they

[00:51:09] yeah um i thought it was weird but also very interesting just like how it crossed it or how they how it kind of blended some things together so um but that is that's what i've got for the frost hollow anomaly mikey these stands for evil all right so at the beginning she makes coffee goes

[00:51:39] outside does some people watching scrolls for some news on her phone and then goes inside to make breakfast when she finds the head in the freezer where she drops her coffee mug and we get it's shattered spraying drops of burning hot liquid all over my legs your coffee wouldn't

[00:52:09] be that hot anymore she probably drank most of it if not all of it yeah i mean it's possible she went back inside and just got a fresh cup yeah it just didn't mention the fresh cup she brewed she put she refilled story completely ruined fuck this story it sucks no longer partial recommendation non recommendation should have added the coffee seed it's vital in every story

[00:52:36] all right um and then we we get the letter from jack yeah and he explains that he sneaks into people's houses and rearranges their furniture yeah like i know how hard it is to move one bookshelf in my

[00:53:06] home but to move bookshelf couch chair like entire rooms while they're gone like how buff is jack he's just committed to the bit yeah also here's the problem here's the thing another problem this might be a thing slash problem about this about this note how much of it can we trust that is actually jack and not friend trying to like get to

[00:53:36] um laura i don't know isn't jack's handwriting yeah but jack laura or friend is also pretending to be jack and he's the one that's in the closet giggling well yeah but does he get all of his memories and his mannerisms and his handwriting style again that's another problem with the story like we don't know exactly what how how how deep the shape shifting is because some shape shifters

[00:54:06] do have that level of like mimicry of whatever they're mimicking like the scrolls in marvel can do that up to a certain point like they

[00:54:59] has discovered apparently she hasn't been checking her freezer very long recently or this just happened to be there and speaking of freezer who has chicken nuggets for breakfast sir my hand is raised if it's late enough in the morning like 10 or 11 like all bets are off it's just brunch but we don't have a time as far as I'm concerned

[00:55:29] breakfast is the first meal I eat when I wake up so if I'm waking up at 3 and eating some food that's breakfast chicken nuggets aren't alcohol and like it doesn't abide by the it's it's

[00:56:18] 5 gamer I totally like overheard that's not the right word I spoke over you and I just realized what you said it was like oh she loved those nugs yeah I heard of it yeah I just she trained his he

[00:56:51] anyway so my next actual thought here which is during the first fight scene with friend I fell backwards through the door onto the front porch smacking my head hard on the wooden porch which my response is and she's dead or at least blacked out yeah in which case friend gets to

[00:57:21] her and she's dead yeah but then there's no story exactly yeah so like obviously it wasn't as big of a hit that's as hard I know but the story's being over dramatic all right and then let's see my next one here as I got closer to hanging hanging from

[00:57:51] lampposts many of them mummified or skeletal to which my response is unless these bodies are fresh which they aren't because they're mummified or skeletal they're not real bodies and more likely Halloween props no like the whole thing of this transition to this world is that everything is like much older and much aged and such so yeah

[00:58:20] but skeletons become piles of bones okay so I understand now my bad I'll recall what I was going for what I was rebutting yeah no I mean like all right like listen like you're right but also like cinematically you're wrong you're wrong and I hate you because how many times have we seen like yeah I know but like how many times in like movies have we

[00:58:50] seen like a skeletal like remains of somebody like hanging and most of them are intact like but so there's some like there'd be some dry tendons that maybe keep things together but I mean like in reality yeah like there wouldn't be much left if there are that desiccated or that mummified but also like I mean yeah you're kind of right you ruined that whole scene good job man thanks you've ruined the entire game

[00:59:21] all right all right uh so uh the next part I have here is with the um the horse insect yes spider horse uh so we get it had the body of a struggling old man in its insectile jaws

[00:59:51] yeah yeah hang on hang on you said that right you read that wrong it had the body of a struggling old man in its insectile jaws oh because that's like that's I had like I shot him I shot him bang a glance oh oh dear yeah it was exactly that yeah because like it sounds like it's about to describe what it looks like especially after like after the previous sentence was like my first thought was it was some cross between

[01:00:20] a horse and an insect the height of a small child and over a dozen feet long it had the body of a struggling old man oh in its jaws in its insectile jaws yeah yeah so yeah I I I didn't take a note of it but I was like oh man I really should have I was like kicking myself like throughout this even throughout this

[01:00:55] visioned the old man's head was being chomped on yeah but later uh we get the old man continuously kicked and punched at the monstrous face but the abomination didn't seem to notice or care blood dribbled from his toothless mouth and deep slashes covered his chest stomach and legs so this means

[01:01:25] that Laura can see his mouth which means that either a the insect isn't chomping down on his head or it's just chomping down on the tip of his head yeah or like getting him around the chest well the other thought was he had his arm one one of his arms and he'd still be

[01:01:54] punching and kicking well it says it has the body yeah because it said body I imagine like this dude's on the ground on his back and this thing's jaws are around his chest yeah so similar to like how it got when it got Marion it like when the that's how I saw it anyways yeah

[01:02:25] well some clarification would be nicer agreed yeah for sure I think that's the general consensus from all three of mask of humanity he wore started

[01:02:54] to fall away revealing a spinning black hole of a head with a single red eye in the center so connective tissues time for me so I've recently started watching an anime called siren okay where well basically the

[01:03:24] protagonists get transported to the future and it's an apocalyptic future and there's monsters and the only way to kill them is to destroy their red eyes basically or their red cores so it's exactly this that's cool yeah although there's more variety of monsters in it so but how do you spell

[01:03:54] that siren anime show p-s-y-r-e-n okay so not s-e-i-r-e-n which is what I found when I googled siren anime and I'm like this is a very different anime from what you're describing it's just schoolgirls it's a romantic comedy on campus I mean clearly it's the

[01:04:23] doki-doki midshirt club all over again yeah yeah oh man we I'm surprised we that's like we really need to get up on like doing some like let's play rigamortis or something like that because there are some very good like creepy pasta-esque like video games out there yeah there's some bangers out there yeah like pokemon haunted black that I have a

[01:05:10] psy yes yes yes yeah but uh all right uh gamer yes me um so uh this first note isn't it's not really a grammar thing I was gonna put in the grammar but it's not really it's just like I personally would prefer it this way over the other I ambled over to the freezer looking inside for something edible maybe some chicken tendies sorry some chicken nugs uh some sweet

[01:05:40] nugs I could uh deep fry next to uh some eggs and toast instead I found a decapitated human head it's open staring eyes glassy and frostbitten so like I I feel like there needs to be an exclamation point after mentioning that there's a human head in there oh yeah like instead I found a decapitated human head yeah like each word gets more and more capitalized I mean yeah exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point like just for like emphasis because it said so

[01:06:09] nonchalantly it was like it was normal it's like oh it's tuesday right well you know like devil's advocate a little bit on that like sometimes the most like effective like pronounced like like like the most most effective way of like emphasizing something is saying it quietly in movies and and and stuff like that but in this case when it's writing you really need to use like the medium to emphasize

[01:06:39] certain like poignant points like this so I feel like the quietness of like in a movie that would be uh transferred over in writing to ellipses before it yes ellipses before yeah absolutely yeah it was just so nonchalant to kind of bug me yeah no I I definitely think you like your your idea like your suggestion is way it would enhance this story a bit for that scene especially since she's writing this after the fact to like

[01:07:09] like write this down and like live relive through her trauma and like put that information out there like yeah you know yeah anyways I'll move on my next one is regarding uh Jack's uh quote unquote accidental first kill that he did um that was shit was no accident he chose to shot that shoot that guy like yeah it was in the middle of like a fight or flight mode but like the judge would very easily say he chose to kill oh yeah yeah like so

[01:07:39] that accidental kill shit is thief entered someone's home got hurt and then sued the

[01:08:08] homeowner yeah no I've I've heard that one too yeah and I hate it yeah no absolutely yeah it's like it's sort of it's just such a and again it's just like just a dumb I guess I guess we're explaining our stance on that kind of thing but like it is just like it's like if somebody's invading your home and you're you get in shit for them getting hurt while they're in your home that's fucking bullshit like absolutely they're the ones they're the

[01:08:38] ones that are doing the wrong doing it's their yeah it's just it's a consequence of them doing something shitty on top of you know getting caught and possibly and hopefully arrested which is the same thing as the consequence of like if he just got shot by the homeowner because he's breaking into their house that's a consequence of you breaking and trying to break into this guy's house and steal and or hurt this man yeah exactly I mean we again in Ontario we had something similar to that happen I think last year

[01:09:08] that was brought up somebody somebody came somebody broke into somebody's home and then the homeowner defended themselves and like shot the person and then suddenly he's getting he's getting fined and arrested for for shooting somebody yeah and defending this house yeah again like it's that I don't know like yeah our stance on that is bullshit anyway yeah yeah we're going to story yeah back to the back to this fictional

[01:09:38] story step away from reality for a moment but yeah you're right like that's not an accident no not at all he straight murdered that guy so my next one this is after the or during the second fight with friend where bones gets stabbed and drops the handgun and then laura says or does rather i left for the pistol a choke sound rasped from

[01:10:07] bones's trembling lips the adrenaline rush made me feel no pain as i hit the hard cracked road rolling as i landed i felt the cold metal of the pistol's grip under my hand i raised it feeling the stab wound

[01:10:50] friend gave i mean they have polymer grips on them but oh do they okay yeah sorry well i think it's like it would be steel like the main part of it but with polymer grips over it but regardless that's not why i'm bringing this up

[01:11:21] jane jane jane as much as i as i am an average joe and i sure as hell couldn't do that that cleanly like to me horror comes from the inability to deal with what's happening not being able to quickly and efficiently dispatch it like that yeah so i'm not against her getting the gun i'm not against her killing it with the gun but she isn't john wick unless she like her husband has a secret a life as an assassin but that's probably which would be fucking

[01:11:51] hilarious it's again it's it again this is actually kind of a trope in um lit rpgs as well where like the main character may not be like full-on military but they have some training in their back in their in their life background that like has prepared them for this situation to explain without having to learn how to be badass exactly yeah yeah but we get none of that here so it's just completely unbelievable i feel like it would be more desperate and harrowing if she like

[01:12:21] jumped for the pistol slid along the pavement probably scratching up her side doing that then like fumbles to grab the pistol and needing to take like at least three shots to even hit friend in the head like that like it's just way too clean absolutely uh so my next one is during the um the spider horse thing fight what did it look like so it was like a centipede but like it had a horse head yeah it had like mandibles i immediately thought spider horse which is

[01:12:51] an actual cryptid apparently i've learned about uh in the states um but so basically like like a like a sort of like a spider mixed with a horse but then it started describing it with like multiple limbs and very long so it's like oh so it's like more like a less of a spider more like a centipede so it's like a struggling old man no that was the that was the victim in its mandibles a shot bang a glance oh i'm so sorry

[01:13:21] all right we've kicked that dead horse spider horse in the now so yes in the nugs we can move on yes but yeah no um yeah i i i think yeah it's it's supposed to be like a a horse horse faced centipede so okay but with like mandibles and stuff like that on the on the on the horse face yes very strange yeah um regardless during that fight um again uh jane wick shows up again uh oh my god the first bullet

[01:13:50] caught it in the neck but like it well what it says is the first bullet caught it in the neck but the thick black plates of scales deflected easily the second one hit in the right eye which exploded like a water balloon filled with blood the last bullet in the magazine pierced its other eye so she shot three times and hit three times um she's just that good this is this is an action pasta it's definitely not a creepy pasta it's

[01:14:20] a bit of a thriller pasta if anything because it adds some action to horror um it's again it's like the uh david fucking king um stories where like there's suddenly just like a random car car chase like in this in this horror scenario yeah but it was like i i and this is just like yeah she could just do anything we had problems about it back then too so i'm sure we did but comparatively so

[01:14:50] i would prefer that over this i also i also want this on record i agree with you in this case it is a little john wiki yeah for sure and like okay so she shot three times hit three times and then she has and then that was that's all the ammo she had like maybe there were only three shots in the backup magazine because after she killed um a friend she went through uh bones's pockets and found an extra magazine to reload maybe that only had

[01:15:19] three shots in it which is plausible because like bones no doubt had an encounter or two before saving lore in the first place so he probably only had three rounds in that magazine so he reloaded his other magazine to top up but he still had that old magazine with three shots in it so maybe that's why she only got the three fire three shots or maybe this scene what the scene is trying to say is after the fight with friend she reloaded a full magazine and

[01:15:48] then this uh horse centipede showed up and she's just spraying everywhere with dumps the whole magazine into it and hits three times out of the 12 or so rounds that are in it yeah which would be a lot more realistic considering she doesn't know what she's doing and she's panicking from seeing this thing but that's not described i saw it as like a clean smooth operator like she knows gun fu yeah exactly she suddenly becomes the one yeah she's the gun

[01:16:17] slinger from uh she does not kill with her gun she kills with her bullets damn right no it's very much like yeah the dark tower which which is kind of funny because like the dark tower is also meant to be horror but it's definitely also got action and like a lot of action in it too so it's again it's more of a really does but yeah it's more like again i would i would pin this story more as like a thriller than a full-blown horror just regarding like the mix of like the act the gun action

[01:16:47] and like the the whole the way the the way the gun action is described mixed with the like insanity of the nightmare horror that's going on like the main characters are technically like never really in danger yeah or at least the one main character yeah i mean like honestly i was like i was legitimately concerned for marion like as much as sus as marion is to me i was genuinely concerned when the when the insect creature got her that's interesting you say

[01:17:17] that because here's my next uh all right um after the insect creature got her um and then they go into the hell mart yeah um then uh laura says are you okay quick aside it should have been called hell mart not hell mark hell's market oh is that what it was yeah it's called hell's market but it should have been called hell mart i'm just saying either way so they go in there and laura says are you okay i asked marion looking at her injuries the creature

[01:17:47] had left two deep slices along the sides of her chest they bled freely soaking her tattered rags in fresh streaks of scarlet she nodded silently tears running down her rounded cheeks we quickly grabbed drinks and snacks chugged soda and energy drinks and eating candy and beef jerky that child is bleeding out and so are you your arm were open when you first shot friend like 10 minutes ago get some bandages are

[01:18:16] you healing with food and drinks because this is a video game and that's how it works that that needs to be like the wounds heal started healing as we drank as we drank drink me monster energy drink or something again like this is like again reading the story this is where my partial recommendation kind of came from it's like i enjoy the concepts and stuff in the story and like where it was trying to go it seemed but this is where i draw the

[01:18:46] line because again like the description like like they're at some of their later late stage actions and just and the lack of lack of descriptions of things and lack of again the rush like the the uh the um just the rush to the finish line sort of sort of aspect of the story is what kind of killed part of it for me so yeah well this line that i read off here isn't even a rush thing it's just like the decisions are so strange like she's

[01:19:15] bleeding freely from her deep slices along her chest are you okay i'm fine like if she says she's fine she's trying to like be tough fine yeah but she uh she as in an adult as a an adult responsible adult she'd be like okay you are leaving trails of blood behind you we need to stop this also ow i've lost half the blood of my body from this arm wound 10 minutes ago we should be kind of woozy

[01:19:45] yeah yeah no i apparently the town they lived in before the anomaly was derpland derpland shows up all the goddamn time so sexy derpland but yeah no it's it's definitely i do i like i thought they like picked a bandage or something no they just straight up just start drinking like energy drinks and and soda and eating jerky and candy like

[01:20:16] wow yeah they don't even it's not like they looked for bandages and there weren't any didn't even try they just went straight for food because they're hungry yep like that that's what made it feel even more like a video game like yeah they took damage but like it's not there's no bleed proc on them so there's no poison proc or anything so it's fine any any doofier it would any derpier and it would have been like marion's like hey i found this there's there's a hole in the wall i oh it has a full-on roasted turkey in it

[01:20:46] yeah starts eating the turkey and then like uh for audience at home and whoever's not really a gamer um turkey and wall turkey is a is a is a um a health boost i think or like a like a health healing item in the castlevania games the original video games yeah yes you'd like break a wall open and there'd be a a fully cooked turkey inside the wall that you can no one questions no it's it's video game logic again and again i i'm for that aspect if

[01:21:16] we want to go balls to the wall weird with like the the game mechanic stuff in this do it but like this story kind of half-asses it in that regard yeah either intentional or not because it doesn't bring up like like oh we we need to stop the bleeding we need to heal up i can't find anything um but like in the heel but like at the hell's mark mart or whatever it's called um there's like a a medical center

[01:21:45] but it just has food in it that's weird i'm hungry anyways i eat something i start to feel better oh that's weird like my wings are stitching back up yeah there needs to be something describing if that's the intent but i don't think that's the intent no i think it's supposed to be more of a survival horror thing and rather than like but like in the real sense not the video game sense but it but it really feels like it should be a video game sense given all the other stuff that's happening but

[01:22:10] yeah yeah wait that was the tipping point for me for sure yeah no like i'll say yeah i'm with you on that and then uh my last note is just in regards to the ending where like it's just kind of like they got out gg yeah oh i hated it yeah it just like i i didn't i didn't leave a note but i was like that's it yeah and like i i think it was about like i think it was about halfway i think

[01:22:40] it was no i was like getting close to the i was like by where like um where they get into the uh into this into the into the store into the market and i was looking at my google doc that i was like i had the i was like looking at the reading the story from and i was like man there's only like one page left like there's there's gonna be there's a lot more that seems to be going on how is this forging it oh it ended like that okay and again that's where my it's a bit rushed comes from yeah in that it just ends no it

[01:23:09] doesn't end it stops that's different yeah yeah sorry it just stops it's like it's like it started license like have nice nicely paced at the beginning and then started talking faster and faster and faster and faster and and we're done and they got it honestly yeah exactly that yeah it took its time so much early on describing like the potential real life horror of like oh my husband is a serial killer and oh the the baby died as well

[01:23:39] yeah of course but like it took a lot of time sitting there thinking about like and describing the whole serial killer aspect and then it just snaps okay supernatural hair horror bam uh you're being attacked by a monster bam uh your neighbor shows up shooting bam bam bam like just running through it so fast i wish i just yeah it's just it got faster and faster as it went down it was like a spiral it was a uh it was a spiral where like it's like one of those like coin spiral thing like things that you see like zoos and such

[01:24:06] or places where like the initially when it's when spinning down the funnel it's going slow but then as it goes farther and farther down the funnel it gets faster and faster and faster and faster and done yeah that's yeah no yeah no absolutely uh all right so is that your notes or is there more they have

[01:24:37] yeah no legit yeah all right so um yeah on to final thoughts um well congrats guys uh i'm actually changing my my recommendation i don't want to say yay because i don't like spreading negativity but first off that's not entirely true and i don't think i'd recommend this um to like any to every to any any or everybody um i partially recommend it because it is sort of just a fun if you're not like thinking too hard on it and you

[01:25:06] just like want like some like fun like or just like a silly like nightmare fuel thing it's it's fine for that but honestly the story needs more work to be done to it it needs to take it needs to take a breath halfway like not even halfway through like early on and start taking its time it's it's a marathon not a sprint to the finish line um yeah i i really enjoyed the hellish world that the anomaly brought them

[01:25:36] to uh and the insane amount of weirdness and horror thrown at laura start to finish was pretty fun but it felt a little you know what i'm i'm redacting that it felt a lot rushed as it went on like again see my my spiraling funnel analog yes um or analogy um like it felt like it needed more breathing room after laura and bones left their rotting home for

[01:26:06] downtown specifically like honestly you we could definitely even get some more like while they're at their house but like i feel like once they started going down to going toward downtown it was like they were heading toward a singularity where things were speeding up also yeah because like the whole all the scenes in the house it felt paced pretty well because like even after they dealt with the creature they went into the house to like check the faucet and like she checked the food oh yeah you're right like it's all paced quite well but as you say as soon

[01:26:35] as they left the house they just stepped on the gas yeah and like bones dies wake like i i bones death took me by surprise and in fact just how how quickly after they left the house that he died yeah like the ambush just like happened and then like walk um but yeah it's um it's also weird that friend went for him as well considering friend's target was laura

[01:27:02] to be fair uh bones did shoot friend so oh okay yeah that's true um so he basically picked off the um uh the the the one with the gun the biggest threat yeah in the in of the two yeah um yeah things just things just really picked up speed a scene wise uh till the sudden end of the story which given it's been two years the author's account is apparently banned from reddit and this story is now archived i doubt we're

[01:27:32] gonna get any further sections or even improvements on the story but regardless like it's out there we we read it we are discussing it and like we're giving ideas on how we can improve how the story could be improved um there's still a lot of promise with this again i'd like the idea that like i like both the both ideas of like this being like again a sort of a grief-stricken nightmare for for laura after she finds out her husband's also a

[01:28:00] serial killer um or this is more of like a weird creepypasta lit rpg where like she has to go she has to go through these off these nightmarish obstacles and to get free of all this that her like this weird nightmare dimension that her her husband and his weird his weird new friends have inadvertently or advertently bring brought about so um it just unfortunately as it went on it got more and more rushed to the to

[01:28:29] race to the ending and it just needs to take its time it needed to take its time and like the the first half it was the first part was really good and then it just kind of spiraled so um yeah that's my my final thoughts uh i i don't think i'd recommend it to most people i'd maybe partially recommend it just because of like some of the ideas are really fun and if you're not like thing too hard on it it's okay but ultimately probably not a recommendation so yeah mikey be sense

[01:28:59] for evil um well yeah the for me the beginning was deathly slow how dare like like it wasn't until we got the head in the uh fridge or freezer that things started to pick up and honestly that

[01:29:29] first section pushed me out of the story really wow yeah we are we all about to not recommend this for different fucking reasons yes we are because like i read that first bit before i got to the like i was just starting to read it type thing and i was like oh this is so boring like do i even want to do the podcast this week

[01:29:56] oh my god the initial beginning oh come on are you fucking serious it didn't take that long no it's just i don't think i really resonated with the character so it like the the first few little bit

[01:30:21] just didn't um trigger my want to read so i had to struggle until i eventually got to the creepy part there is literally six paragraphs before the discovery in the freezer it's too many holy god

[01:30:52] sorry i i'm not i'm not actually like trying to pick on you for your for your your opinion but like i it's it just i'm flabbergasted by but by like how different like our opinion is on this like you're right like i'm looking at like it's i don't even have to scroll the page no you don't the head shows up yeah the head shows up on the seventh paragraph but like it was a paragraph you do you mikey you do you yeah no like again like like i've said

[01:31:21] before like we all have different like opinions when we're reading stuff and we all have different mindsets so yeah all right he was just so bored by those those first bit it just yeah i i get it man anyway uh do and then uh as did the we get the creepiness happening uh but then it feels really rushed yeah yeah

[01:31:52] um like the oh so you don't like it when it's too when it's too slow and it's too fast like mr goldilocks over here yeah needs to be just right this creepypasta has first gear and sixth gear and that's it i want to clarify i am doing a bit yeah i'm clarifying for both the the listener and mikey like i'm not actually like

[01:32:21] like active i'm not i'm not laughing at you per se i'm laughing with you qualifier there i'm laughing with you but like i'm yeah it's a bit of it's just a small jab that's all i'm saying yeah uh so yeah i'm just not gonna recommend this story okay fair enough gamer

[01:32:51] uh okay so for me there was like overall oh come on no sorry i had to do one last bit one last little gag sorry yeah i lost interest in the first paragraph honestly yeah no it was so it took forever to get there but for me the biggest problem was like there was no immersion or belief in it for me like um and like this faultless heroin was kind of boring but she can like get away

[01:33:20] get through all of this like potential horror in this weird like other other dimension with these fucked up creatures and she like gets out unscathed she gets hit at the start and that's it yeah like she's way too perfect and it's it's that old saying that i say multiple times like if the main character isn't scared why should i be and sure they're scared but they're not like they're not struggling at all

[01:33:49] they're just flying through it so it seems like the horrors that are out there aren't really a problem as long as you have a gun with ammo and you are a crack shot yeah exactly for no reason um but yeah the whole thing right from the get-go or at least from when the world was taken over by all the um the other universe it made it feel like a nightmare which like to be fair

[01:34:18] nightmares are scary don't get me wrong but like i was reading this whole thing with the expectation of her waking up at the end i'm not gonna lie there was a part of there was a moment at the very end where like they like she like i saw like slightly ahead and it was like they were back at laura's house and i was like i swear to fucking god if she just woke up if the next paragraph has her waking up that morning and that was all a fucking nightmare

[01:34:47] i will fucking i will be so livid yeah but yeah in regards to her waking up at the end like in a way she kind of did kinda but like with the wound still there and and the severed head still in the freezer and acquired plus one child um but like it clearly was that like she was taken to some other dimension for all the things that happened so i'm glad that that is actually a thing

[01:35:17] like there's no question she went to some weird universe and dealt with all this stuff for one reason i think i think honestly the uh the fact that reddit no sleep has sort of certain guidelines of like of like where you're supposed to take this as if it's really happening to the person the protagonist or the the main character i think that is honestly possibly a saving grace from the fact that like it could have been just it was all a dream at the end because generally like that would i feel like that would be a faux pas

[01:35:47] if you did that in a no sleep story probably like just sharing a dream that you had yeah so i played resident evil 4 and i saw it i played resident evil 4 and and watched the let's play of silent hill uh town townfall and uh then i went to bed um and uh and had this really trippy nightmare mm-hmm anyways um so overall

[01:36:16] i didn't really enjoy the read personally like while the creatures were like really neat um they were way too easily dispatched um like by by by by jane wick here i mean come on yeah of course jane wick killed everything um but yeah like single bullets to make them run a couple more to make them detonate um and the biggest thing that kind of bugged me that no one talked about well he kind of talked about it um a child's bite

[01:36:46] to the wrist of a 10 foot tall norse goddess is enough to make them recoil in pain like i don't know man it's it's more proof that she's a fucking demon i don't know man i don't think she is it's not it wasn't it wasn't just a simple like child bite it was it was a demon's bite i'm just saying copium is a is a hell of a drug sir yeah no i it is very yeah that's also another uh thing it's like yeah like this yeah literally the

[01:37:15] the goddess of death from norse mythology is is in this mark is in this market she just like smooshed your your husband's head like a watermelon yep gets bit by a child and that chaos yeah like chomp ow like recoils from it holding her holding the wound so yeah for me the biggest problem is like all the the conflicts in this specifically after they leave the house everything up until the

[01:37:45] them leaving the house was i think handled quite well yeah i did like no notes up until that point it was pretty sudden when it switched to the the nightmarish landscape but that's how it works yeah i mean that yeah it's like boom you're in there and so yeah the church expanded their influence of this nightmare realm to this town or city or district or whatever so it just instantly happens and that gets plugged into into their their nightmare

[01:38:14] escape now so i'm fine with that happening so quick it's just everything else is just so fast after it and yeah there's no struggle as well which i felt there needed to be yeah the the fights need to be a lot more harrowing like even like the porch fight was okay because she was like she was getting her ass kicked until until uh her her uh neighbor got like a lucky shot and again it didn't even like not even a headshot just like shot him in the shoulder so like enough to knock him away and like and then he he kind of like fucked off for a little bit

[01:38:44] i thought he hit him in the head no i i'm pretty sure it was uh it said he shot him in the like shoulder or chest area uh gunshot rang out behind me a perfect round scarlet hole appeared in friend's shoulder yep you're right um but yeah he also had the time to aim that because he wasn't in the middle of combat uh but yeah that's my my two cents on this

[01:39:13] yeah because in my opinion like i i think that while describing a second creature the centipede horse thing was cool i think that whole fight didn't need to exist and the second fight with friend should have been uh let it cook more leave it in the oven a little longer um to have it be more harrowing and like don't have bones just die instantly off screen

[01:39:41] like like what if what if like so bones doesn't die immediately continuing with laura downtown until they find marion and then marion shifts into friend and then that's the ambush and then you really want marion to be evil the clues are there i say as i'm staring at i'm pointing at a uh pointing at a pork board full of like strings yeah no kidding the clues are

[01:40:11] there but no i'd definitely be calling that marion out in among us yeah no doubt uh wait literally it just i just think friend is the main antagonist in this yeah but like after his demise there's just there's someone else now so it makes him less important feeling you know so putting a little bit more focus on him making that fight a little bit more interesting and then after that when they're bleeding and they're leaving to get bandages at the market

[01:40:40] like that would be better in my opinion for sure but as it is i can't really recommend it as it is um i said as it is twice but that's fine yeah so oddly enough uh roundhouse of non-recommendations but kind of for different reasons at least for for two of us or like for for for two two factions all of us are a little different yeah honestly i'm studying a little bit more on like why you like you

[01:41:10] don't recognize recommend like i'm i'm not recommending it kind of for the same reasons like you're not recommending a gamer kind to a degree though i do like some of the concepts that are in the story but i don't think i could actually recommend the story as it is yeah um and then mikey's got his non-recommendation reasons i say i say lovingly but uh yeah um that'll that'll do it for this

[01:41:40] week's episode so if you like what you heard or if you didn't leave us a comment in the comment section below wherever this gets posted some of us are on blue sky mikey is that e stands for evil and i'm at review cultist you can also send us emails at al dentebrigamortis at gmail.com that's a l d e n t e r i g a m o r t s at gmail.com where you can also leave the suggestions for other creep pastas scps spook things you creep it we'll peep it yeah

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[01:42:40] we really wouldn't have much of a show because we'd have nothing to talk about so thank you now's a good time to mention that we are part of a podcast network written in the night an actual play and creepypasta podcast network we're there alongside our sister podcast one less die and our cousin podcast the role-playing exchange for things that go crit in the night until next time i have been your host

[01:43:07] review cultist i'm mikey these dance people and i'm the gamer in yellow and this has been al dente rigor mortis sleep well you