(The Secret World): MSL-North: Tha Boyz - Episode 18: Six Hags New Orleans

[00:00:00] Everything from the Closet … Our wisdom flows so short, test and see. Transmit. Time to learn the truth, boys and girls. In the 30s, Prime Minister King kick-started a hedge fund for investigating and hunting various paranormal phenomena. Now, fast forward along the line of mysteries, blood, and maple syrup money throughout the 20th century,

[00:00:25] and you find numerous groups across the country, unified under a loose collective, hunting strange creatures and tackling paranormal threats for profit. Don't believe the lies by the so-called news networks. The secret world is real. Here there be monsters. And the Monster Slayers League, north of the American border, is out there. Even out in Newfoundland, there's word of a new team known only as the Byes.

[00:00:53] And don't even get me started on the... I guess there'll be a reckoning when I come back from J-Con in August. I know. Hi there, welcome to One Less Die, a 5th edition Secret World actual play podcast. We are continuing our Secret World campaign, Monster Slayers League, north of the Byes.

[00:01:19] So, yeah, when last we left off, the boys got a hold of Emma Stone, formerly known as... Or Emma Smith, formerly known as... Or also known as Anima, who is a living embodiment and avatar of magic itself. She really likes us. Yeah. Hey, you guys warmed up to her, or she warmed up to you.

[00:01:50] And after helping you guys cleanse the moose watch realm of filth, she decided to stick around for a little bit, like have a girls' night out with all your respective partners and girlfriends. I think you're underplaying that. That's literally how we got her to do the job. That's pretty much, yeah. Yeah. Because she didn't want to leave her self-inflicted isolation.

[00:02:19] On the night train. Yeah. The Croatoan 1589? To Moscow. And then when you guys got back and all the stuff had finally cooled down, you went to go find your hind and helicopter pilots, only to find out that they'd been arrested and your helicopter impacted by the Illuminati because someone was... Well, they've been kidnapped. They weren't arrested.

[00:02:47] No, they were arrested by the Illuminati. They were kidnapped. The Illuminati are not a law enforcement agency. They are in North America. They're the secret. They're the SS. Secret. They're the secret. They're literally the secret police of North America in the secret world setting. Yeah. Just like the Templar have secret jurisdictions in various locations across the world. And if they take civilians... They weren't taking civilians.

[00:03:16] They were taking employees of Templar agents who were disrespecting Illuminati control of the North American continent. Look, have you seen Beverly Hills? We're about to disrespect it. Have you seen Beverly Hills Cop? He can work over there. It's fine. He can go to Beverly Hills and still work there. It's fine. I mean, are we Templar agents? We're really Templar subcontractors. You guys are technically Templar...

[00:03:44] Not employees, but you're technically agents of their... You get jobs from them. Are we not Templar? Yeah, you're Templar. So then what's the wishy-washy part of this? I mean, I feel like we're not really Templars. We're more just subcontractors who do jobs for the Templars. Officially, you're Templar. Unofficially, you do your own work on the stuff that's more prevalent than the side work.

[00:04:13] I would agree with you, Aaron, if we also took jobs from the Illuminati and the Dragon. Or even considered them, but we've never considered them. Well, yeah, because the Templar are the only ones who hire out for monster hunting in where we are. Yeah, in Newfoundland. Because they have a port nearby. St. Pierre. Actually, yeah. So we find you guys actually at Templar HQ.

[00:04:41] Because you guys went there to try and see if you could get your Templar affiliation to do some pulling, pull some strings to get your associates or your employees, basically. And your vehicle unimpounded and unharrested. To which you guys are in Richard Sonak's office.

[00:05:07] And I was like, well, I've been in talks with various members of our co-faction department.

[00:05:19] And it appears that we should be able to get your vehicle unimpounded and your employees, a Yuri and a Yuri, extracted from the Illuminati Detention Center they find themselves in. I know she said extracted and not released. Well, released. Yes. We said extraction. I'm like, okay, what are we doing? How are we doing this heist?

[00:05:48] Well, released in about six months. Six years. Six months? Six months. Given the amount of paperwork and bureaucracy that we have to put through, it should take about six months to release your assets. That's what we can do. I don't know if that's good enough, guys. Is it?

[00:06:14] It would essentially remove Yuri and Yuri and your Hind from the game. Or from the campaign. Do we want to drive cars and use portals like clubs? I don't even think this is a question. No man left behind. No hind left behind. No hind left behind. I believe actually the title of this session is actually going to be called, give me a second, I'll call my session synopsis.

[00:06:43] I believe we decided we were going to call it No Man Behind. Mm-hmm. No man left behind. Yes. So, yeah, that's what the Templar are saying. Basically, like, through bureaucracy and so that, they'll be able to, that's the official way they can do it. Um, and, uh, then Richard, like, kind of, like, closes the door, like, like, like, hits a button and, like, doors, like, shutter and stuff like that.

[00:07:09] It's like, that's the official, um, situation. Unofficially. Uh, we Templars cannot really do anything about this. Or at least we cannot be tied to any extradition. Is that the word? Extradition. Extradition. Um, that you may want to, um, try to, to, uh, expedite the process.

[00:07:34] Um, but, uh, I can tell you which detention center they, they are in. Just for visiting purposes, of course, right? Of course, yes. Mm-hmm. Um, they are in, uh, they are at the Fort Carroll facility outside of Baltimore. Uh, do you have anybody who want to roll me a, uh, a history? Or, um, yeah, probably a history or just like a base, even just an intelligence, uh, uh, safe? All right. I think I have advantage for that.

[00:08:03] I got nothing on that. Fifteen. I rolled a twelve. Uh, twenty-four. Twenty-four. Twenty-four? Okay. Is that, uh, what, what roll is that? Int. Int? Okay. Eighteen history. Eighteen history? All right, so we'll go with you first. Uh, so Fort Carroll, uh, you, you've, you've heard of it.

[00:08:30] Um, uh, it is a three-point-four acre artificial island and abandoned, I do in quotes, uh, hexagonal sea fort in the middle of the Patapasco River just south of Baltimore, Maryland. Um, it is named for Charles Carroll of Carrollton, uh, original, um, a singer of the Declaration of Independence. Signer.

[00:09:00] Hmm? Signer. Oh, a signer. You did say singer. I was going to question that. I, I, I, I, a little dyslexic. I, I saw the G in the end wrong. Um, unofficially, like that, that's what historically, like that's what the place is, like officially, uh, unofficially, uh, Fort Carroll has been reestablished as a, uh, Illuminati detention facility, um, about a hundred feet below the island. Uh, and it's also, they have, uh, some, uh, their, uh, with Illumini, with, uh, with your,

[00:09:30] uh, limited contacts in, like on the loop from the Templar of what they know about it and stuff from Illuminati. Um, that's also generally where they'll keep, um, uh, affiliated assets as well as, like, the prisoners had at the time when they were being, uh, taken. Uh, this place has, like, a couple of, like, high-end people, but it also has people that the Illuminati just, like, uh, they, they just take, uh, like low-level, um, uh, people from, like, missions and stuff like that that are, like, are caught in the crossfire to

[00:09:58] interrogate and, like, find information from them and stuff before either releasing them or just keeping them there indefinitely. Uh, or until they can get ransom from, like, the various other secret factions, like the Templar of the Dragon. So, um, that is where you have, uh, where apparently your, um, your pilot and mechanic of the Hind, uh, have found themselves after they were arrested in Virginia. Yeah.

[00:10:28] So, um, what did you get there, uh, Dave? Fifteen. Fifteen? Um, yeah, that's about the same. Like, both from you and Marcel, like, basically, like, that's the impression you're able to gather from, uh, your contacts within the Templar. Mm-hmm. Or your, your other, um, like, secret world, uh, contacts. Yep. So, but, uh, yeah.

[00:10:52] So, how do you, do you guys, do you guys want to try a jailbreak, um, on a Illuminati detention center? Or what about prisoner exchange? If we capture a more important asset from the Illuminati, maybe we can trade them. Okay.

[00:11:21] You'd have to catch, you'd have to, you'd have to either find one, you'd have to know where one was going to be to, the, that was going to break Templar territory, like, sort of, like, contingencies. Or lure one. So, we wouldn't have to have them in our territory. We'd just go into their territory and get us to. Just, like, basically knock on their door and say, yo, is there somebody here that's pissing you off? We'll go get them. We'll trade you for our friends. Oh, okay.

[00:11:48] So, like, well, that's a different thing, I think, than what Merit's suggesting. Because I think, you're just, like, you, you go to a high-ranked guy and it's like, hey, like, basically make a deal with the, with somebody high-end, high-end in the Illuminati. Yeah. I'm saying we kidnap the guy high-end in the Illuminati. Yeah. Oh. The problem with that is, like, the Templar bar said, like, they can't really be involved officially. Yeah. He has to be doing something wrong for you guys to capture him. You can't just go to his house and capture him and it's like, oh, we have him. It's like, that's going to spark a Templar Illuminati secret war.

[00:12:17] So, we need to plant, like, evidence on him. It seems like, yeah, you'd have to have, like, a, yeah, you'd have to have a bailout. Yeah. Like, a cover, like, a legend. I stole meth earlier. You still have it? Yeah. I either would have sold it. That's not exactly going to cover it. Are you sure? Yeah. That was, like, from episode one or something. I remember taking... What do you think is selling the meth? Yeah. The Illuminati. Yeah. That's, yeah. Um. Sneak into his house like a cat burglar and just plant it somewhere.

[00:12:48] Like, a couple cups. Yeah, I get, like, that's more of, like, if you want to get him in trouble with regular cups. Yeah. You have to try and, like, find a way to get him in trouble with, like, the secret cups. Mm-hmm. The secret organizations. He's got to lace the meth with something magical. Do you guys still have that demon weed? Yeah. Make him an accomplice to the, uh, to the, to the, uh, uh, snakes of Eden or the, the serpents of Eden? Or will you just prison break him?

[00:13:18] Yeah. That would also, if you want to find out more about the actual island, like, its fortifications, that's going to be some more criminal, like, dealings to try and, like, find schematics or, like, find a layout of what the place is like and such. Because, unfortunately, Richard, uh, as you guys are basically being, like, told to, like, you have to leave, like, his office and stuff, Richard's, like, like, he's giving you the name of the place and, like, otherwise their hands are tied. Like, they can't say anything. Yeah. I'm assuming... I have my hand up for those ones. I'm assuming this isn't the prison that I went to? No. I went to a normal prison?

[00:13:48] You went to a regular prison. Yeah, yeah. You were just in Attica. Yeah. Yeah, this is a secret prison. Mm-hmm. A lot more worth of bamboo under fingernails here. Yeah. Kind of. I guess that'd be more a dragon thing, but... Although, maybe you were onto something. If we can find something that the Illuminati do want... Mm-hmm. Make worth their while. Yeah. So, do they have, like, a top ten most wanted kind of deal?

[00:14:19] I should have planned for this. Let me take a look at it. It's aired on TV every Friday. Yeah. I just pull up the... Yeah, that's actually their most wanted. The Illuminati's most wanted. Well... Actually... Um... Give me a second as I... We look through the, uh... Adventure options here.

[00:14:54] Yeah. There is a, um... Man, hey. Good show. What? America's most wanted. No, it wasn't. It was never a good show. I don't know. When I was a kid, I remember it being pretty good. It's like one of the only shows my parents watched that I didn't hate. Um... How do you guys feel about going back to, uh... Uh...

[00:15:24] Solomon Island? For who? Um... So... Somebody, uh... So you're... Somebody, uh... Make a, uh... A contact... Some kind of contact role. Some kind of role for, like, getting a hold of, like, people to find out. See if you can find any, uh... Information about, like, missing people with Illuminati connections or something. Okay. Maybe you watch the Illuminati school. I'll tell you. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[00:15:57] Walls on this are too high. It makes it spinning so short. Uh... We're old at 15. What kind of a check is this? Uh... This would be a... Um... Oh, that's a word. Fuck. Um... I guess this would be just, like, a, uh... Information... Or, like, investigation. Okay. Oh, it's investigation. I should have it roll. 21. 21? Um... Yeah, so you, you, uh...

[00:16:27] Contact some people. People that you know from, like, the... From, uh... Kingsmouth. Or... Is it Kingsmouth? You said... Yes. Or is it... Is it Kingsmouth? Yeah. Innsmouth Academy. Innsmouth. Innsmouth Academy. Um... Uh... And... Uh... Who... Who is it? Is it, like, uh... Is it, uh... Just gonna be, um... Like a student... Like an old student that you know? That's, like, went with the Illuminati? That went with the Illuminati, yeah. Um... Your old roommate, Greg.

[00:16:56] I'm adding it to... I'll add to the NPC list. No, it's an old flame. Um... Greg. You're correct. Uh... I'm gonna go with Claire. Claire? Okay. Uh... Last name? Voyant. Voyant? Yes. Yeah. She's from Louisiana. Uh... That's... That's actually really good.

[00:17:24] She specializes in divination magic. Yep. Take that... There's a... You got an advantage on your next roll. Fuck yeah. That was good. Got one of these in forever. Yeah, really. I think I'm not as clean as I think I am. D'oh. Um... Yeah, you contact Claire. Uh... And, uh... She, uh... She tells you that, um... So, here's the idea I've kind of come up with. Do you guys want to...

[00:17:56] Um... I'm not gonna lie. I was actually really looking forward to breaking into this place. Yeah. And I have... I did read an adventure last night for breaking into this place. But if you guys want to try and do something else, I have an idea. How would you guys like to go to New Orleans? To an abandoned, waterlogged, uh... Six Flags. Six Flags. And hunt down, um... A boogeyman who has captured a high-ranked Illuminati's son.

[00:18:26] I'm not against that. I haven't been to that six Flags in years. Yeah, well, it's seeming how it, uh... It closed down because of, uh... Hurricane Katrina in 2005. And is just now, like, in plans by the city of New Orleans to, uh... Finally be, like, re... Uh, like, they retake the land and, like, and reestablish it. Yeah. However, I'd like to point out that we'll be a water... With... In New Orleans, so... Lots of... Lots of bayou stuff.

[00:18:55] I can go secret to the waterfall. We have water walking, water breathing. I hate you. I don't know. I don't care. Yeah. I'm still secret to the forage. Sorry. Secret to wild nature, I can turn into a shark. Yeah. Gator. Gator. Mm-hmm. No. Crocodile. It's not locally appropriate, though. Ant? Arguably better.

[00:19:22] What's the name of the, uh, oldest crocodile in the world? Gustav? Uh, Gustav is the, is the serial manager from Africa. Yes. How old is he's oldest, though? Uh, I, I'm pretty sure he's the largest. Largest known crocodilia. If he's dangerous and he, like, he's known for killing humans, won't they just hunt him? Uh, they tried. He survived multiple gunshots. Yes. Many gunshots. They're hard to kill.

[00:19:51] He also, he's also a serial manager because he's been eating, feasting on corpses in a war-torn section of Africa. Oh, he doesn't hunt. Necessarily. Well, he does, he, he will hunt. Like, people do go missing on, on that river. Yeah. But most of the, most of the, most of the, most of his, like, human food is actually, like, bodies. Yeah. Like, just, yeah. Nice. Um, yeah, apparently Saltwater Crocodile is in Papua New Guinea, the largest known crocodile. Uh, two, 22 feet.

[00:20:21] Child soldiers reveal the crocodile world. Yeah, probably. But, yeah, um, so, yeah, that's what, like, Claire, uh, you, you contact Claire. Uh, yeah, so, back to the game.

[00:20:35] Uh, so, uh, yeah, you contact Claire about asking if she knows anything, like, from the Illuminati side of, like, is there anybody, um, any, any, any really good, like, juicy, like, bounties or, or things that the Illuminati have, like, they're, like, calling in or, uh, that would maybe give you a boon in the Illuminati circles.

[00:20:58] And, and Claire is just like, uh, well, uh, uh, uh, down here in, in New Orleans, uh, there is a, uh, uh, there is a, uh, the son and some of his friends of a, uh, of a, uh, well-to-do, uh, Illuminati sorcerer, um, has, uh, gone missing near, uh, the, the, the, you, you, you, do you recall that, uh, that Six Flags that was shut down down here?

[00:21:27] In, uh, 2005? Because of the Hurricane Katrina? I was aware that there was a Six Flags down there, end of Hurricane Katrina, so, yeah, it makes sense that it would be shut down, yeah? Yeah, it's still down, um, it's, it never really recovered, and they just, like, marine land, gotcha. Yeah, they cut their losses, and, uh, it's been reclaimed partially by the bayou and the gators and such, um, and a lot of folks down, a lot of young folk down here tend to go over there and, uh, um,

[00:21:57] herb explorer and such, and, uh, well, it seems like, uh, this, this kid and his friends went down there, and, uh, they have not been seen since. And, uh, we've sent a few small, a few agents down just to do, thinking it was, uh, um, thinking it was just normal work, like, just a, like, a simple, like, find the kid, maybe find, or find what's left of him, uh, from gators. Not a kid, not a wife.

[00:22:26] They haven't been, they've gone missing as well. Okay. Um, so, uh, they're, we're still in the process of, of hiring some new people to look into it, uh, but I could put in a good word for some, uh, for some mercenaries. Okay, okay. Yeah, we might be able to work with that. She says that there's a haunted six flags, and there might, there's a kid missing of a high-ranking, uh, Illuminati.

[00:22:52] We could, we could probably save a kid and leverage return to the child in exchange for our helicopter and, and their pilot. For those at home. Where is it? In New Orleans. Oh, hell, I know that six flags, let's go. For those at home, Aaron is cupping the, the mic portion of his phone at these pantomimes doing this. Yes, indeed. Meanwhile, she's on the other side being like, hello? Is that hello? It's like, Jacob? Yeah, sorry, sorry.

[00:23:22] Um, yeah, I think we're, uh, I think we're pretty interested. Um, okay, um, do, do you guys have a, a, a group name that I can, I can reference to my, uh, my, my, uh, my, uh, supervisors? Or my higher-ups? Oh, yeah, we're the boys. The boys? The boys. Okay. I'll text it to you, it'll make more sense. All right.

[00:23:52] Uh, I will, uh, I'll look into this, or I will, I will let them know that, uh, you're, you're checking this out. Diabolical. Okay. All right, well, um. Good to hear your voice again. She's listening. Yeah, yeah, you too. Yeah, and then. Tell Greg I said hello. Uh, Gregoire? Yeah, I will. Gregoire! Oh, ho, ho, ho! Bag it! Yes, I'll let, I'll say, I'll let them know you said hi.

[00:24:23] So, so now, like, I like how this, like, where it relates. I like to think that, like, she was your flame, and then Greg kind of, like, swooped in during, like, the last. Roommate. Yeah. Yeah. Your roommate Greg swooped in. That's because she just couldn't. I wouldn't go Illuminati. Yeah, that's exactly it. Like, she just couldn't get over the, like. The Templar condition. The differences were just too much. There's just too much difference there. Mm-hmm. It's like a Romeo and Juliet situation, but, eh. She was also tired of gaslighting her all the time.

[00:24:53] Even at bed. Yeah. You weren't as good at it? I was just learning. Wow. Okay, so, yeah, so, yeah, you guys can look online about this, like, Six Flags New Orleans. There's a Wikipedia article about it that I'm using right now. Located near the intersection of Interstate 10 and Interstate 510 in New Orleans. It first opened in 2000 as Jazzland. Sorry. Sorry.

[00:25:23] No, no. And a leasing agreement was established with Six Flags in 2002. And then Hurricane Katrina happened in 2005. And following substantial damage caused by the hurricane, they never, they were never able to make full repairs and reopen. So it just, it sat there basically for the last nigh-on 20 years.

[00:25:51] Can basically be, like, within the last, like, literally, like, 19 years have gone by. Yeah. Since this place has been, like, just subsumed by the swamps around and the wildlife and stuff like that. And a few stories have popped up here and there from, like, curb axers and YouTubers going in there illegally. Because it is banned from tourism. Like, the New Orleans Police Department is constantly arresting people trying to get in and such.

[00:26:19] And occasionally people will go in and go missing. And it's presumed that they're usually, like, I mean, gators have been found. It's well known that, like, gators live in the park, in the flooded areas. So, yeah, it's likely that they were succumbed by wild animals. But the stories still kind of wander around in certain circles of, like, a dark figure that roams the park and sort of feeds on the remnant energy of the park.

[00:26:49] I mean, just statistically drowning is still the most likely thing. I mean, yeah, that too, yeah. That's it. They don't wind up being eaten by gators, but they probably drowned first. Yeah. Currently, as of, like, last year, so 2003 in this game, or 2023 in this game, the city has approved a redevelopment project. But that is still kind of, like, in the works. So, yeah, you guys don't have your kind. Right.

[00:27:18] So, you'd have to get there the old-fashioned way or the other old-fashioned way. The older-fashioned way. Yeah, the oldest-fashioned way. Taking the bus. All right, so. Agartha. This is my hometown. I can get us anything. Yeah. This is your hometown. Yeah. Backstreet with my dad was on that police force. Okay. Yeah. So, he probably knows all the corrupt cops still. Probably. Yeah. He has a corrupt cop himself.

[00:27:47] As the ones that were working with the secret of the secret world. Great. He knows all the corrupt cops, so. All of them? But. Where are the New Orleans mystery spots? So, I've got to find a place in New Orleans that's good for a Magartha portal. I'm sure there's a lot to buy you out there. I'm actually thinking a graveyard, honestly. Like, just, like, you guys just pop out of, like, somebody's crypt. Or mausoleum. I'm actually thinking.

[00:28:16] Probably mausoleum. That'd be cool. What's that? What is that? Like, hang on. Haunted Cemetery. Let's go with that. The Agartha portal. I was just in the Six Flags. No. Entirely too convenient. Yeah, that's too convenient. Yeah, the French Quarter. Oh, yeah. There's the French Quarter stuff. So, I'll have them here. It's a shame that the actual, the official book, they went with Boston rather than New Orleans.

[00:28:46] For what? For, like, so, when the Secret World played tabletop RPG they did, in the MMO, they focused on Maine, Transylvania, Africa, and then eventually, like, Tokyo. But for a new location that they added for the tabletop RPG, they went with Boston, Dubai, and Paris. Dubai? Yeah. Paris, I can see. Dubai is a good, like, place for, like, for the dragon. Like, basically, each section was, like, an area that was claimed by the dragon.

[00:29:16] Or by one of the factions. Boston? Yeah, Boston is actually his Illuminati territory. But that doesn't seem spooky. It has some spooky stuff in Boston. Not as spooky as New Orleans, because, like, you can throw a stone in New Orleans and you'll find something haunted. Yeah, something spooky. Tell me about it. Yeah. Oh, man. You know what? Fuck it.

[00:29:42] The Agartha Portal is in the, is on the grounds of the New Orleans Jazz National Historical Park. It's just, like, in, like, a little glen there. There's, like, the mystical portal just tucked away. So, yeah. That's how you guys could get there, like, quick. Because, like, that'll take, like, a few, like, probably about, like, an hour or two of the map most.

[00:30:09] Just, like, to, because you guys are currently in, you're currently in England. You're currently in East, or in Eldwick, which is the Templar district of England. Or of London. But, um, as you're trying to coordinate this stuff. You guys might even be in the Horned God, the, uh, the pub that, uh, is near the Templar headquarters. Yeah, just go with that. Yeah. I remember that. As you guys are, like, kind of figuring things out and such.

[00:30:34] Um, so, uh, you just have to, like, basically walk across the street to the Agartha portal down the sub in the tube. And then find the portal to this part of, uh, of the world. So, yeah. Um, yeah. So, is that what you guys want to do? You guys are going to go track down this missing kid and his friends and bring him back? This does sound like a plan. Yep. I need a better plan than her to break into a high-security, a little naughty facility.

[00:31:03] Yeah, as someone who's been to prison, breaking into a prison does not seem like a smart move. That being said, if this doesn't work, we can still do that after the fact. Yeah. That's planned. Yeah, somebody just has to, like, contact, make, uh, make a, uh, roll to try and, uh, get a contact that can allow them to halo jump down. Or take, take some kind of submersible to the island itself. In the, uh. We could just take the hind. No, you can't. I know. That's the point.

[00:31:31] It's like, the hind was, there's so many options. It's the hot. Yeah. There's gotta be, like, a skydiving rental place. Mm-hmm. Yeah, probably. That'll go over the prison? I don't know. Or, like, again, like, that's why, like, if you, you, you, some of your criminal contacts is, like, just basically, like, get, like, a smuggler, just kind of, like, fly high, and then you guys just drop out as it's flying over the air, the airspace. Yeah. So we're in the back of this, like, beat-up old beaver plane. Yeah. Just surrounded by coke. Yeah. Maple syrup. And coke.

[00:32:04] But, yeah. That's, that's, that's, uh, apparently plan B. Plan A is, uh, operation, uh, six flex. Yep. So, all right, so, um, plan B is the halo into hell. Uh, all right, so you guys, uh, yeah, after, uh, after you guys, uh. Quick question. Yep.

[00:32:25] Are we going to contact and or go to the Illuminati facility and tell them we're doing this in exchange, or are we just going to show up with the prisoner? Or show up with the kid, rather. Yeah, show up with the kid and talk to this, like, basically talk and negotiate with his dad about letting these, letting your friends in the detention center go. Yeah. Yeah. Because he'd have the pull. Yes. Yeah, this, uh, this sorcerer would have the pull. Mm-hmm.

[00:32:50] But, yeah, okay, uh, so yeah, uh, cut to about an hour or two later, you guys are, uh, walking out onto, uh, I don't know why it looks like a greens, uh, a, a historical park, kind of, um, with, uh, like, some ponds and, and, uh, some, uh, like, lots of old willows with, uh, that hanging moss and the old colonial buildings and such. Ah, yeah, it's good to be home.

[00:33:15] The swelter, uh, it's November weather, so, uh, it's probably still sweltering heat because it's fucking close to the, to, to, to hell on earth, Florida. Mm-hmm. It's still the Gulf. Um, and, uh, yeah, you're, uh, you're feeling great at home. These guys are just like... Why is it so hot? It's not, it's not even the heat, it's the goddamn humidity. They were dressed for, they were dressed for London. Yeah.

[00:33:45] They were like, wool and trench coats. Which is good because it feels like London, but hotter. Because it was raining in London, and it feels like it's raining without raining. Yeah. There's so much moisture in the air. And it came on a good day. It's actually not too humid. Yeah. It's actually so... Not too humid, eh? Oh, trust me. Yeah, that's the Canadian, too. It's just like, fuck, bud. It's fucking hot today, bud.

[00:34:15] So my reaction, going down to Kentucky in the middle of the summer, and it's like 120 degrees out, and I'm like dying. Everyone's wearing like light coats and stuff, and you're just... And I'm practically, like, I'm tearing things off. Yeah. Or I'm racing to the cavern entrance, because I can feel the cold 15 degree weather down there. Mm-hmm. Or... Yeah. It was about 50 degrees Celsius down there. Yeah.

[00:34:46] So, yeah. So I called ahead. Yeah. My dad's waiting for us in the pickup truck. Okay. It says, hey, Marcel! Been too long, Pops. Been too long. It has. It has. These are my friends, Jacob and John. Yeah. Is something wrong with them? They, like, look like they're... As I'm looking insulted. I was like, you look like you're, like, gonna die of... You look like you're swimming.

[00:35:14] You look like you're, like, you just ran a marathon. You're sweating so much. It's a hot day today, sir. Yankees. That's all I can say is Yankees. Mind you. All right. Well, where do you guys need to go? Do you want to head back and grab some sweet tea or play some gumbo? I'm going full-blown architect. Yeah, Kelly's character. Uh... I think we got a job to do first.

[00:35:44] All right. We'll do that after. Business first, pleasure after. And then we go to the gun range. Ah, I like this guy. Yeah, he's all right. All I have is a little Tokarev. Oh, don't bring that out here. Why? It's Russian. That's illegal. As his dad is, like, glaring at you. He is also a former cop? Or is he still a cop? No, no. He was quite disbarred. Yeah, you do. I've got the rhino as well.

[00:36:15] That's good. You'll like that one. So, yeah. Where'd you go, boys? The old amusement park. Six Flags. Six Flags. Is this, uh, secret work? No, we're going on roller coasters. Yes, it's secret work. Yeah. Yeah, he kind of like just... Our repairman can get the park up and running. Yeah, totally. Ment. Ment. Ment. Ment, ment, ment, ment. Opening day is tomorrow.

[00:36:46] You're just like... I think I can help. That's true, yeah. I've just never used it. Yeah. Well, I always mend everything. That's fine. Yeah, you feed me to it. Yeah. Yeah. So, does anyone on the force have an updated map of the area? Let's find out. As I pull up a map of Six Flags Normans. Oh, you need to get that, like, cartoony one that they give you at the front gate. Let's find it.

[00:37:15] And then you need to print it off. I can't. For the audience at home, my printer is notorious with the first few attempts at trying to print something. For the audience at home, Chris hates his printer. He punched it earlier. And refuses to buy a new one. It's not mine. He was beating that printer earlier. It knew what it did. Actually, guys, come over here for a second. I'll let you break here.

[00:37:45] There are a couple of illustrated maps of the Six Flags New Orleans. Fucking awesome. Do we want this one? Yeah, that one. What about that one? Okay. Yeah, that was cheesy enough. Open a new tab. I will actually print it. Fair enough. It's a bad language. We're going to get the printer rage on recording now.

[00:38:15] What was that? Ooh. Because we leveled up, something changed that I forgot would change. What was that? Spell save DC and spell attack bonus. Sadly, it won't be in color because this is a tonic. Okay. Maze of pleasure. So why do those go up? Because they go up with your proficiency bonus. Oh, I wasn't aware our proficiency went up. Yes. To four now?

[00:38:45] Yeah. So my spell is easy to be. Oh, that actually helps a lot. We'll be right. And we're back now with maps of Six Flags New Orleans.

[00:39:11] And I have a bunch of stuff up about showing the actual flooded state of the park. So as your dad basically drops you off at the near, close to the entrance. At the front gate. Yeah. You guys have fun. Exactly. You boys have fun. And try not to get yourselves killed. You hear? My dad can drop us off. Your dad can pick us up.

[00:39:39] And yeah, you guys see ahead of you like sort of a, the front gates with the roof of the front gates partially destroyed or caved in. You can see like the skeleton of the, like the, the framework as like all the shingled like roof is just kind of caved out from it. And the skeleton of the receptionist still, still sitting there. There are also some, like basically the entire, this entire section, side of the, of the, the park

[00:40:07] is effectively cordoned off with a chainmail fence. Or chainmail fence. Chainmail fence. That is just overkill. Chainlink fence. Mm-hmm. And clearly there are like signs that like the, the, the door, the, the entrance from the, the fence has been tampered with. Like it looks like it's been rechained and locked several times. Um, people just keep breaking, just taking both gutters to it.

[00:40:37] Um, and yeah, you guys, uh. So clearly I had my dad let the, the boys in blue know that we were going in there and not to respond to any calls. Yeah. That come to this area. Yep. You guys can see the highway from the, uh, uh, on the other side. Uh, like, you can see like cars like going across the other side. Um, we'll say for atmosphere wise it's like midday. So it's like getting close. It's like getting on in the day. It's like probably about four or five. Mm-hmm.

[00:41:06] And, um, you're, uh, yeah, you, you look at you, what you can see beyond the front gates is, uh, um, a derelict, uh, roller coaster, Ferris wheel, stuff like that. A couple of roller coasters and buildings and pavilions and swamp water and overgrown foliage and such.

[00:41:29] Um, you guys were able to like pull some maps, uh, offline, um, of the park and you can see that it's like this colorful cartoony map, uh, of the park. Um, so you're not sure where to start, but you're at the front gate, so it's best to just, uh, see where it goes from there. Six Flags are late. Yeah. Yeah. So, Canada's Wonderland is so much better.

[00:41:58] I mean, yeah, you compare it against Canada's Wonderland, it was way more rather than Wonderland. I look at this and all I can think of is this is just a slightly larger version of Santa's Village, uh, from up north. Pretty soon. Yeah. If you see, if you see what it looks like now, like, like modern Santa's Village, which is a theme park up in Muskoka up here, uh, for listeners. Um, they've actually kind of converted, it's, it's actually kind of like a small version of the, of the Six Flags. Nice.

[00:42:22] Um, maybe a few less, like, big rides, but like, the layout's kind of the same. Hmm. Um, and obviously, like, Christmas themed. Why? Because. I know. Yes. Um, but yeah, so, yeah, basically you picture it, like that central, like, uh, pond that's in the, that's in the center of Six Flags New Orleans. Um, that's consumed about half of the park.

[00:42:51] Um, it is still, it is, like, that is just, like, flooded streets and, like, avenues and, like, um, there are a lot of the pavilions and buildings and rides and stuff like that in, like, in and around Main Street Square, um, uh, I can't pronounce that word, Ponte Chart Train Beach? I'm sure that's not how you say it. Uh, like Looney Tunes Adventures, Mardi Gras area, all those areas. Flooded.

[00:43:21] Um, the DC Comics Superhero Adventures area and Cajun Country? Well, it looks a little bit more like Cajun Country now. Like, a little bit more, a little bit more overgrown and, uh, and swampy. Okay. Um, a little bit more like my ass. I mean, I mean, with the heat here, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, a little bit of swamp ass. By the way, how long was the, uh, the truck ride out here? Uh, it was probably about, like, I think it's a little, I'll see how far it was from,

[00:43:50] uh, from the actual, uh, from New Orleans. Does Google Maps just not exist anymore? Fuck. What's Google Maps? Do you mean Microsoft Maps? Oh, no. We just crossed over the Mandela Effect app. It's Microsoft World.

[00:44:24] I like that. Yeah, because it almost sounds like Microsoft Word. Um, wow. I love that. Uh, there's apparently an attraction just called Hurricane. Apparently closed. Due to Hurricane. Hurricane closed due to Hurricane. Yeah, it's actually just outside of town, so it's, like, probably not even, like, 20 minutes out of town. Hmm. Okay. I ask because in the last 10 minutes of the trip, I'm going to be ritual casting Water Walk.

[00:44:53] Hey, what's your, what's your friend doing back there? He's not, hey, watch the, watch the, uh, watch the leather on the, on the seats. Oh, it's fine. Don't worry. Yeah. Um, yeah, you, uh, you get down there to the, uh, to the, uh, the amusement park, um, or what's left of it. And, uh, yeah, you're at the gate, so how you, like, yeah, um, hey, I want to see it. How do you guys break in? How do you guys break in? I get the bolt cutters out of the back, and I cut the lock.

[00:45:23] Okay. And I just go proceed straight through. Okay. And once we're out of sight, I pull out my recce drone, and I'm going to do the tour. Ah, nice. Okay. Um, uh, I guess, uh, use, uh, roll a, um, perception, uh, to, to look around with your drone. Can I use investigation instead? Yes, because that's a, thank you. Point of note, are there a lot of trees here? Yes.

[00:45:54] And are there, are there a lot of similar trees here? Yes. Like, a lot of cypress, a lot of willows, about 20-year-old willows and cypresses have just, like, overtaken the, the area. Great. Just wanted to make sure. 20-year-old willows. Excellent. I love hippie chicks. I think you're asking for the same. That might be what I'm being. I think that's what I'm taking next level, based on what you said. What was it? Yeah. May I see? It's a secret. You're going to surprise.

[00:46:24] All right. I have to use it. All right. Um, yeah, so what do you get on your investigation as you're looking at? 26. 26. Okay. Um. So, God, that malort, not good for sipping. Really? I actually think it's good for sipping. Eh. It's fine. As the Lord is made for sipping. Um. So, yeah, you see, again, a flooded, uh, theme park. Um. Just to see.

[00:46:54] Kind of looks like a post-apocalyptic setting. Um. And you see a lot of movement in the water. Like, under the water. Like, you see, like, rippling. Like, things rippling around and stuff like that. Um. Anything coming up on the thermal? Thermal? Oh, is that thermal? Oh, yeah. It's good. Um. It's. There's a lot of thermals. Um. Everywhere. You're not. And, like, you're looking around. You can't. Like, in the. Through the. In the buildings. In the. In the.

[00:47:24] Like, under the tree. Under all the. The heavy tree cover and some of that. There's a lot of life in this park. It's kind of. You're not exactly sure how. Like. You can't. When you. If you can. Can you switch the thermals off? Yeah. No optics. You look at normal optics. And you can't. Really see. Like, from a bird's eye view. It's hard to, like, see through some of the areas. Um. You do see some movement. Like. In the. Like. Like, gaps and stuff. But. Whenever. And when you put on your. Your thermals. There's a lot of. Large things.

[00:47:54] Moving around in there. You surmise. Probably gators. They're cold blooded. Oh. Would they not pick up on thermals? They not. Not much. It wouldn't be bright. The problem with. The problem with gators is that they like to cook themselves in mud. And we've seen what mud does to thermals. Yeah. I've seen predator. Yeah. Yes. But we also. But also. The video that proved that that actually works. Yes.

[00:48:24] But if it's like 120 degrees out. Already. Mm-hmm. The. The. Gators are definitely not. Any hotter than that. Apparently, yeah. You can't. Like. They're not. Like. It's not as much. Like you said. But like. You can see them. Kind of. It's not as. They're not as. Easy to spot. Okay. Fair enough. Okay. Then I retract that. Then. You do see some movement. It's a lot more scarce. It's a lot more. It's not as. It's dead. Yeah. Yeah. There's some. Like. There's a lot of dim.

[00:48:53] Thermals. And there's a couple of hot spots. Like. Kind of dotting the park. Because where are the hot spots at? Uh. There are. A couple of hot spots. Near. Um. The Mardi Gras area. Uh. There's one near. The. Um. One near the beaches. Um. There's two or three. Out near. Uh. Cajun Country. And. It looks like there's about. Four. Uh. Between Main Street Square. And Looney Tunes. Adventures. Hmm. So. It's.

[00:49:23] More than you expected. There's more. There's more. Like thermal activity than you expected. Hmm. Interesting. Can I just identify any of it? Can I fly the drone closer? Uh. You try to fly in the. Actually yeah. I'll try to fly in the drone closer. Um. Make me a. Uh. How would you. What would you use for like. Flying. Like for keeping control of the. Of it. I would say dexterity. Okay. Use dexterity. Uh. Roll a dexterity save. Fifteen.

[00:49:54] Um. You. Start losing control. And you have to. You have to like. Pull it. Uh. You start pulling it back up. Away from like. As you get closer to the ground. It starts. Like you start getting your. Your. Your. Your. Your. Controlling device. And your little monitor. Starts like. Staticking. And freaking out. And like. You start losing control of the drone. You actually have to pull it up. To get. Uh. Stability again. Well. Shit. Okay. Where did that happen? Um. That happened as you were descending down. And getting close to like. The main. Main street square area.

[00:50:24] Okay. Does it happen again anywhere else? Uh. You try it again. And. Yeah. Uh. Actually roll another one. Because. You might lose it all these. Attempts. It's a fourteen. Fourteen. Fourteen. Okay. You're still able to keep it. But that one. Like. It's starting. You almost lost control for a moment. Like. It skipped a moment. And. Where was that? Uh. That was. Uh. Uh. We'll say that was out in your. Uh. Mardi Gras. So basically anywhere but here. Yeah. Anywhere but outside the air ground. Because it took off fine from his hand. Yep. Alright.

[00:50:54] So we call the drone. And we'll. Proceed on foot. Okay. So. Uh. Yeah. You guys have a map. And you have to kind of. A little rough layout from. From the view. From your vantage point. Of where like. Waterlogged areas are and such. Mm-hmm. Uh. And as you start. You're passing through the. Uh. The. The. The. Gates. Like. Over those little like. Kiosk things. Like. Between those kiosk things. Uh. To get in. Um. As soon as you do. Everybody roll me a will save. Or a wisdom save.

[00:51:27] Eighteen. Sixteen. Eighteen. Sixteen. A thirteen plus eight. Twenty-one. Okay. Um. Jacob is fine. Um. You're. You do feel. You do get a sense of like. There's a. A shift. Or a change. Um. Um. It's sort of like. When you left. Like the. The Agartha portal. From. From Agartha. And into like. This heat. Into the. Into the humidity and heat.

[00:51:57] Of. Of New Orleans. Um. Like that kind of air pressure. And like that heat pressure. Mm-hmm. That. It kind of feels like that. But more on your soul. Um. For you two. Mm-hmm. So fucking hot. Fuck. What are you doing here? God. This sucks. Yeah. You just. Even Marcel's. Yeah. Saying it's fucking hot. Even you like Marcel. You're just like. It is hot out today. Holy shit. Like this is. Like. You felt like you just. You went through. A like.

[00:52:26] A jello mold. You just like. Went right through it. And. It just. You're just like. Why am I doing this? Like. This fucking sucks. I don't want to be here. Can we just go. So. Do the prison break now? You guys are actually both going to take. Uh. Penalties. Or like a. Oh my god. Disadvantage. On this. Um. Okay. Then I am going to activate my. Uh. No. My. What is it Dan will call it? Enhanced ability. Okay.

[00:52:55] And I shall give myself the wisdom of the owl. So I make all wisdom rolls. At advantage for the next hour. Okay. That would have been handy. I didn't know. I didn't know it was going to be constitution. I have to call it what it is. Oh. It was wisdom. Yeah. Yeah. So it could be constitution. It could be. Um. Oh. Dexterity. Okay. I get to pick the one. But I only get one. That's it. I got you. Babe. You guys are just like. You just feel. Like. You. You feel. John. For John. You feel miserable.

[00:53:26] Both physically and emotionally. Mm-hmm. Marcel. You feel miserable emotionally. Like in here as well. Like you're used to this. You're used to the. The sweltering weather. Of New Orleans. You're not used to this. Like this. This is like another level. I probably have fond memories of this place. Yeah. And now I'm seeing it just ruined. Yeah. All those. All those fond memories. It's like they were drained from you. This isn't very nice. It's really not. Jake.

[00:53:55] Do you feel like shit? It's hot. Do you want to. Something. Well. Yeah. You can actually make an arcana check if you'd like. Okay. Um. I would like. Not moving. It's. An arcana. Yeah. I think I do that advantage. Hoping so. Because that was a roll of seven. I think you do it at disadvantage.

[00:54:25] I do do it at advantage. I think really does not spin in there. That's 15. We'll take the 15. And I do this with expertise. So that's 25. 25. 25. I'm going to test something with this. It's going to look like this.

[00:54:55] Good. You. It won't be able to land. Oh yeah. You're right. It has to tilt. Yeah. Try to find something else. On a 25. 25. Um. You. It feels like you've walked into the domain of something. Uh. And it seems like. You've seen this kind of thing in your studies before. It's not unlike. Um.

[00:55:25] Atlantic Island Park. Uh. Near some. Near uh. Near. Near old. Alamara. That place was haunted by the avatar of fear and horror, Nathaniel Winter. He's made his own private haunt. This place appears to have a similar...

[00:55:55] Okay, guys. First, I'm going to pull a couple of cups out of my satchel and pour some water into them. I'm going to cast Preston Vegetation to make the water nice and cold and pass them out. Can you actually change temperature with that? Sure can. You can heat up and cool down. That's cool.

[00:56:24] I can't make it so cold it hurts or so hot it burns, but heat up and cool down. Okay, so you know how Doctor Strange has its sanctum sanctorum Yeah. Inside his sanctum sanctorum he's like more powerful and shit. Mm-hmm. We just walked into something sanctum sanctorum. But it's not our sanctum.

[00:56:54] But it's not ours. It's something else's. Okay. I think that's why it's so much hotter in here. It's literally hot as hell. Mm-hmm. Is there a way to counter sanctum sanctorum at all? Or no? I don't think so. I mean, I could try to spell

[00:57:23] magic, but It's a big area. It's a big area. Yeah. I doubt it would work. Mm-hmm. So where do you guys want to go first? Look down and see just row basically a almost like a fake and ruined almost post-apocalyptic looking downtown square that goes out to sort of a T-junction at the very end

[00:57:52] where there is a and alongside the buildings are like kind of colonial looking buildings and like faux colonial and other kind of building styles of the area. Mm-hmm. Like there's the carriage house mercantile the Runwell Emporium one called Veranda Variety Store Orpheum Theater Main Street

[00:58:22] Fudge Shop as well. Oh yeah. There's the Main Street Fudge Shop. That's the important one. Yep. Hmm. I don't know. I'd just say we go down and take right because right is always right. What? I don't feel good. This place makes me feel weird. We're obviously going left. Obviously. Take a disadvantage here. You gotta understand. It is always disadvantageous for

[00:58:52] us to go right. Mm-hmm. Okay. So you're heading down from the sounds of it we're going down the street keeping our eyes out in case shit jumps out at us because we know stuff is around. Yep. Are we standing on solid ground or is it all flooded? This area is for the most part unflooded but like up ahead like on the Tee Jungle either side is kind of like there's going to be some spots where you're going to have to go through water or

[00:59:22] like go through some of the buildings and maybe even in some of the buildings try and like stay out of the water. Mm-hmm. But you're going left so you're heading toward Cajun Country or that area. So this area so on the left like as you as you're walking past all the main street buildings you guys can roll me a perception test at disadvantage. Mm-hmm. Well nope I'm back to normal. Yep.

[00:59:53] Because he boosted his 17. 17. These are both good rolls. What was it? This would be perception. Oh fuck bud. Oh fuck bud. Mm-hmm. What are you calling? Perception. Perception. 21. 21 you say. On disadvantage I got a 26. What? I have 11 bonus in my perception. I perceive everything and my lowest roll is 15.

[01:00:24] All right. All right. I surprisingly rolled quite well. So you got 26. 26 and you got what? 21. 21. So yeah both of you guys you hear it sounds like from the fudge shop there is a it sounds like calliope music

[01:00:53] and the little girl giggling. that's never a bad sign. Do you want to roll a perception test? No. Okay. That's a one. Okay so you do not hear it. Nope.

[01:01:25] But you two you hear you can hear like faint colloquy music coming from that fudge shop. like the whole it's like circus music like that kind of like sorry perception yeah I get advantage he gets another roll yes he does he does by the way the uh the kid we're here looking for is it a girl or a boy? It's a boy but there are like this place has a habit of like people going missing in it and also

[01:01:54] he had friends and my kid we're talking like 15 16 15 yeah the kid was a baby that gets me a 12 12? Okay um you can hear the calliope music like it's very faint but you can hear it like through uh like through the open or through the broken windows of the fudge shop and uh these two but you two john and uh and marcel you hear um like what sounds like a girl like giggling with glee see I've seen too many horror movies that

[01:02:24] start with this sort of thing like that's gonna be a bad sign which means we have to check it out right obviously um you wanna go with my old standby plan and just throw a grenade in that bitch no um make a wisdom save why are you trying to coerce me one way or another but um yeah I don't know

[01:02:54] it might be an actual missing kid that's just under some sort of spell that we could easily break fine fine we want grenade children I'll tell you what if you want you can stay out here with a grenade ready and if we yell fire in the hole and run outside you know what to do oh I just look at fireball you did you have magical grenade now fireball

[01:03:24] I have magical boa we're giving it we're giving it we're giving a shot fireball I used to have some of that too I might have saw the fireball that was my nephew's favorite song for a long time oh we're bringing it back that's what the lyrics are because he really likes to watch the latina girls dancing I mean who doesn't but he was like two

[01:03:53] at a young age yep alright so what's the plan we're gonna go peek in there stupidly get our nose bit off I'm gonna stand back out here with a fireball ready have that alright I guess I'm going in loser okay so you walk in and

[01:04:24] you look around the door is just kind of hanging off of like one hinge mend it is now a functional door hell yeah it's also now it's what it's now shit now we're stuck in here you open it as it mend click unmend unmend fire the wall with the lockpicks oh yeah also there's

[01:04:53] windows right there that are broken open like big display windows that are broken open no the door you have to use the door yes but yeah the flip shop the inside is like it's sort of like a storefront like an old tiny looking storefront but it is quite dark in here dancing lights okay and that's when you see like kind of running like into like like into the back room or into the not fortress of words

[01:05:23] don't get excited Aaron you see what looks like a child in a dress like in a sundress run into like the door that goes to the back area where like the kitchen area like the where they actually make the fun and she just like you're just like a like runs in okay um it also smells um weird in here like it smells

[01:05:53] of decomposition like the vegetation the swamp and some of that but there's also still the lingering smell of like heavy chocolate like the heavy lingering smell of chocolate still in this place as if they're still being made yeah like it's still being made or like it's like that shouldn't be happening because like that stuff should have been 20 years it should have long gone mm-hmm but okay um well seeing the kid run

[01:06:23] away I'd be calling out to them being like uh little girl where you going hello can you hear me uh you hear in response this way this way that's not good as I look over to jaco that is extremely mad yeah less than optimal i'm going to uh uh tap myself in the chest with a uh leather thong wrapper on my hand i was wearing it last night uh

[01:06:52] i did not need to know that okay are you guys all in the the foot factory marcel said he's staying outside okay so you're you're staying outside but you're just looking around i'm gonna approach the uh the broken plate glass windows the what you're approach the broken display windows yeah yeah so you can see them inside yeah i'm standing one tactical down back to provide fire support what do we see in here um it's quite dark except

[01:07:22] for like the dancing lights yes um but basically like like a like a counter like how would you expect like a like a fudge shop to have like a counter in the back area and then like some aisles of like uh that are pretty well emptied there's like a few bags of like melted chocolate or melted refuse and stuff or just trash um and there's a door behind the counter that goes to the uh there's still actually a cash register as well too so uh though a lot of there is even some graffiti on the walls

[01:07:52] but there is a counter can you see behind the counter easily from where we are uh you'd have to like lean over to look down like i'm exactly behind it but yeah cool i'm gonna bolt over the counter and duck down and out the side of the counter is gonna come a uh a uh newfoundland dog okay nice um with your with your new snout um uh wow that is a really strong chocolate smell mixed with anything no you can't mixed with the with the decay of a

[01:08:22] swamp like what is that like why is that like still that potent okay okay and remember in your current form you are four times vulnerable to chocolate yes yes you take automatic crit damage no instant death save yeah okay so um i guess i'll look over to my shoulder to marcel and be like i guess we're gonna investigate a little bit deeper saw a creepy little girl running to the

[01:08:52] back so do i smell a little girl no joe biden you don't oh all you smell is chocolate and swamp okay it's it's it's it's basically overpowering your your sense your your enhanced senses okay okay so um do you smell anything different boy i probably shouldn't call you that

[01:09:22] eh boy not right force of habit that's a major respect but uh yeah so you're progressing further in yes for those at home every time i asked aaron that he shook his head okay you uh you walk out you walk into the um uh into the uh what is it called

[01:09:52] the uh the back through the back door out to the kitchen area uh and um you're kind of taken aback because it's through with your uh your dancing lights this looks like a pristine fudgery like all like it doesn't even have dust on it stainless steel yeah pristine like stainless steel um like there's fudge on the like on the like in like in the process of being made and stuff like that except there's nobody here

[01:10:22] um is the power on no there's no power on it's just like the it's as if it's shut down after hours yeah but it was used the previous yeah it was like there's signs that it was just used um don't like that once again all right i'm gonna keep walking around and sniffing see if i can catch the sense of this kid okay um yeah roll me a wisdom save both of you

[01:10:57] no no probably and by probably i mean almost 11 11 okay um so what'd you get 22 22 and you got 11 11 um you uh jacob um you're looking around and there's something funny about this this kitchen area this kind of like kitchen area aside from the

[01:11:27] fact that everything's pristine there's like something unusual about it um and that's when you see uh your comrade um he's walking toward the the uh slightly open freezer doors like almost in those slight days okay uh like he's just kind of veered off from where you guys were looking originally going and like just kind of heading beeline for the uh for the uh the slightly open uh freezer

[01:11:57] or freezer area and they're walking at a normal pace a quickened pace or a slowed pace kind of like a it's like sort of like a slow pace but like kind of in a daze yeah oh um all right i'm gonna grab his pant leg and give it a good tug okay see if i can get his attention uh roll wisdom save yeah uh yeah you get kicked

[01:12:28] by him he kicks you in the snoot and continues walking toward the uh toward the uh the freezer bite him the nuts cold shots of the nuts i am in fact going to bite that's a nineteen what is the armor class your nuts will a nineteen hit you um

[01:12:57] yes it will then you have to give me a strength save okay of course now i roll well uh fourteen didn't come out that way dc11 damn yeah he beat it

[01:13:27] uh okay well yeah he is this one opening the door like pushing the door slightly open more to go inside you want to roll me a perception test do you have a specific bark for oh no help aka for backup uh that would probably be a howl sorry this is a what test uh perception okay i'll go again because

[01:13:57] that was a four that's marginally better at ten fourteen fourteen uh you see something uh actually you see darkness beyond like where he's going into um but that's all you see like he's just kind of walking into a dark into a dark freezer open freezer

[01:14:27] okay uh and then he's gone i went into the freezer yeah like you walked into it basically it's like like a i'm saying freezer like doors it's like a walk-in freezer yeah yeah yeah he just kind of goes into the darkness and he's just like one minute he was like there and then the next he's gone many touch cases okay uh is there is there a light there um oh yeah his lights um fizzled okay i'm gonna i'm gonna start howling okay

[01:14:57] hopefully get uh marcel's attention do you want to hear it uh rolls uh perception also dave uh you're going to take some damage hell 16 oh no 20 20 yeah you hear the parking all right i run in to source the parking i hammer my and my shield up 27 yeah 27

[01:15:27] okay then yep uh it's piercing damage for more articulation it doesn't matter yeah for the record that would have killed several of us earlier yeah at level one yes for sure 27 you said yep um and you are grappled uh just for all intents and purposes but you great yeah you're still not fully conscious of what's going on but yeah that's fine uh you do hear like kind of

[01:15:57] in your head you've been hearing like this way this way yes please come but this isn't the direction that the girl went oh this this is oh this is okay sorry okay so you go um uh marcel you come racing in yep all right i need to roll wisdom save as you enter the the kitchen area 18 there is something off about like you you walk in and it's a pristine kitchen like untouched but by dust or rust or rot

[01:16:27] like that's fucked up but there's like fucked up in a way it's like that's there is something some mojo going on here um but more importantly dog erin or dog jacob is barking and uh at a now half open uh walk-in freezer doing the pointer point at the walk-in freezer what's the matter boy did johnny fall down the well pretty much yep yep pretty much okay to walk-in freezer

[01:16:56] yeah there's just this dark kind of like shadows inside of it um that like light doesn't seem to be permeating flash bomb okay um yeah um you roll uh this is actually gonna be an initiative uh a dexterity roll uh a dexter roll for me uh the pose dexter oh yeah so

[01:17:29] three okay so you set that you like door slams shut as it leaves your fingers off the door and that our feet fuck that'd be on one well um so it goes in there and as soon as it goes in there like it vanishes into the darkness but then immediately the darkness vanishes around that so it's just only normal low light in there um and uh then the

[01:17:59] flashbang goes off and illuminates it's a funky looking um like just gross rusty old like freezer area like freezer room and no sign of john no sign of john no sign of that darkness that was there that was permeating it and as you guys look around after the bang you look around the kitchen is no longer pristine it is now normally like how it should be after 20 years of neglect like rusty walls rusty

[01:18:28] tables um chipped broken tile like floors and and falling like a partially caved in ceiling when you said it illuminates a funky I thought you were going to say a funky cold and dina okay you don't remember that song oh okay well perhaps as every wizard should be but um as you're looking around

[01:18:58] like for any sign of him or and stuff like that um you do hear um on the second floor like where like where the ceiling is caved in you do hear something large lumbering away in uh like like upstairs like on the second floor i gotta remember to use ianma features because i have one that could have helped me not get taken on his coins

[01:19:29] left he gives you those coins all the time i don't have any can i give you mine oh shit what should've used it for that dex roll okay so another wisdom save yeah that is a 19 19 okay you're suddenly conscious you've broken through

[01:19:59] the glamour that was charming you you are inside something squishy and strong and writhing and something is like something is grappled around your torso and is pulling you deeper into this mud into this into this thing you need to roll some kind of a post strength test to break free of the grapple shocking grasp moment oh

[01:20:28] and if it fails at save they drop whatever they're holding yeah that'd be shockingly clever mm-hmm okay do your damage yeah uh you know you know what you know what yeah i get a coin um take roll roll

[01:20:58] the damage okay i feel like i feel like we're gonna need these coins this session probably why the hell don't i have the rest of my dice out where are they just uncompared to game shameful there we go shameful display grateful guys

[01:21:28] yeah all right uh these wow thanks um three okay um that is like um

[01:21:57] growl of discomfort but it the the what it looks like a tentacle at first like a brown brackish tentacle that's keeping your that's wrapped around your uh your torso and it kind of like it contracts it retracts and contracts from the so you're going to uh

[01:22:27] wait a second uh okay uh let's um do you want to try i'll let you have i'll let you try and roll a post strength test to try and break free of the tentacle okay um because the shocking crash did not seem to work oh man i really wish i'd be able to get the uh oh god the thunderstorm built yeah

[01:22:56] oh yeah then you can literally just set that fucker off if it was on me or if you got grabbed so this is uh sorry strength save yeah and i'm doing this advantage seven seven actually you know what no i'm using anima i refuse using one of those okay so what this does

[01:23:27] i'm tired of the bullshit i can basically oh also dave um you can use that die to give yourself advantage or not the die the coin because you get advantage that's an advantage yeah true and i should have used it immediately because that's the whole point of them so that would have been eleven eleven yeah okay so i'm going to still use to help um and basically what this does is my roll gets

[01:23:57] added to my saving throw i can use it before or after this is obviously after yeah so i roll a d8 because d8s are my animal features or anime huh can you use more than one die i don't know i didn't write that down there's only so much room that's pretty good so that's six uh seven eight nine oh wait no that's to this sorry yeah um

[01:24:27] fifteen that is not enough fuck uh and you are going to start taking uh as you are it feels like the group is starting to um well you are starting to kind of become part of the group that's around you mhm that is gonna be chronic damage great as you are slowly being dissolved i love the chronic into the brown and black

[01:24:56] goop that is surrounding you around this tonnacle um you do i will say this like as you're looking you're looking around frantically for any and you do see an escape or like looks like an escape above you um it looks like you're inside of something because you can kind of just make out the inside of something's jaws yeah it seems like i'm being swallowed yeah um you've been swallowed yeah so we cut back to you guys on the first floor on the ground floor um

[01:25:27] you start hearing a little girl giggling around you like upstairs and like around you in the space uh and then that lumbering uh these lumbering feet kind of just like uh waddling away somewhere upstairs i look over to the dog here and go crack uh you again you smell that like thick chocolate and uh and swamp smell and it actually smells

[01:25:56] stronger upstairs okay well then i'm gonna go upstairs upstairs okay um you have to actually get out of the kitchen area or like down a hallway to a staircase or you could try rolling athletics or acrobatics to climb up the uh the fallen the broken um uh the falling partially fallen ceiling i have no opposable thought so you'll be taking the stairs so hold on what do you weigh uh i don't know probably uh hundred and

[01:26:27] hundred twenty pounds maybe that sounds about right for a new i can overhead press that okay okay i'm gonna throw all right roll your straight test or uh athletics i could actually use athletics yeah i'm gonna use this do this at advantage okay i'm gonna whip that dog right up to that ceiling that was a crit okay arp straight through the ceiling goes up into the sky lens flare

[01:26:57] he's gone they find you in orbit oh no it's it's uh it's cosmo no was it um leica it's like a two oh rip leica anyway um yeah he launches you onto the second floor you do need to actually roll me an acrobatics um to uh to uh to get onto like solid ground because he

[01:27:27] launched you onto like uh through a hole of like falling like rotting debris or like rotting okay i rolled a 12 but i'm a dog it's too bad you weren't a cat and you definitely landed your feet uh i get a i have a plus three on my dexterity so that'll be 15 15 yeah that's yeah yeah you managed to like like scramble and scrabble away from like uh

[01:27:56] as debris starts falling near you um marcel from down from down below as like part of the ceiling is falling again from now there's new weight on it and um as you were like recovering there uh uh jacob uh you look over and there are two little girls in the middle of the hallway with pitch black eyes um just smiling creepily like ear to ear and looking at you and it's just like you've been a bad dog and then they

[01:28:26] start changing into these large um human-faced canines um kind of in like just they take up the hallway blocking your path and you can still hear the kind of like the lumbering sound like the lumbering thing of something being running like kind of walking getting away behind them i'm getting uh vibes of you know going down a hallway on a

[01:28:55] tricycle and then turning the corner yeah the shining yeah yeah it's very much like that kind of situation um but yeah now you are faced with two um human-faced wolves well fuck these bitches i ain't been a bad dog okay full offensive all right i guess we're doing initiative uh actually this probably is a good time to do initiative regardless so and chris

[01:29:26] i'll take my initiative at advantage okay eighteen eighteen alrighty give me a second here

[01:29:55] so jacob is eighteen you guys can roll as well for your initiatives six no seven six total of twenty twenty all right and give me a second i'm just gonna

[01:30:24] roll a little more initiative quickly who's going with this roster marcel is definitely going last yep as per usual though not like like there is somebody right

[01:30:54] behind you or like right right before you so don't feel too bad about that and uh john you're first on the initiative order okay um so you are in something something very large and smelly and it actually smells you it's like intoxicatingly putrid smell of chocolate so i'm grappled you're inside something you've been swallowed am i equivalent to being grappled

[01:31:24] aka do i not have the use of my hands fully to do whatever i want yeah you're grappled from like the torso area by a tongue but it looks like a tongue or tentacle okay and for example for us to use um our our mics we need hand access to touch the mic and stuff so i can't just talk to them right now i thought it was open channel is it open channel i don't know is it tell me i think so you're not using those yeah

[01:31:55] if it's open channel then i'm just gonna ask guys you okay yeah it's open channel because i can um um because you guys can still hear me barking and stuff as a dog as a dog okay well if it's open channel i'm gonna use a free action to just say i think i'm being digested help is on the way and then you just hear a

[01:32:25] yelp as the dog gets thrown i love how you say help help that sudden like that sudden like burst yeah so yeah um are you doing anything else aside from just doing that or are you just gonna keep being dissolved no i gotta try something it this is technically a grapple because you're still like you're bound by this thing yes so be a strength a post-strength test unless i try another shot on your ass basically yeah um can you summon your assault or flip your

[01:32:54] hand and just fire blindly um what are the orientation of my hands chris pantomime down like basically at your sides yes and like as like the tackle tongue is like kind of just wrapped around you okay so would i be able to just move my hand away from my my leg adjusts enough to make room for a gun you know you know the guy

[01:33:24] from um uh from uh the room where he's like just waves from like yes it's like that so yeah you could you could basically make a hand gesture if you want okay then yeah i'll attempt to summon the uh i don't want to wreck the g11 i'll summon the ar-57 uh into my hand also because that's a grenade launcher so i'm good exit strategy uh and um yeah that'll definitely get you back from mcgartha the quickest it would yeah

[01:33:53] um yeah i'll just i'll summon that flick the safety off and um go full auto okay actually technically burst fire because full auto doesn't actually do more damage in this yeah but full auto will heat the barrel up faster i don't know if it cares about that though well i will say it's also has a suppressor so it gets hot anyway the only reason you're rolling a d20 is to see if you're rolling a nat 1 or a nat 20 okay because you're surrounded by it

[01:34:23] you are you are in the bar yeah i can't miss it i'm rolling a disadvantage too right yeah watch me okay so that's uh 17 oh that was yeah like right right i don't have to tell you okay so i did not roll a one a nat 20 or nat 1 nope okay so then i roll

[01:34:53] remember it's explosive dice for volatile weapons yes thank you those are not volatile rolls though but that's fine so that's that's 11 wait no rules where's my rule sheet that's 13 damage on my first uh shot of three

[01:35:23] bullets okay and then i get another shot potential failure did not happen excuse me 15 damage on that one okay well piercing damage as i

[01:35:50] did you account for any exploding dice right that one exploded thank you that exploded too that didn't okay this this one's better then so 15 plus what huh 15 was the first one i'm doing the second one now okay no the first one was 13 okay then before the exploding dice it was 50 oh okay so that's uh 21 uh

[01:36:20] 27 27 27 yes okay 27 piercing damage as i put looking at a burst and just put two bursts into them wherever they're exiting probably his anus considering the direction i'm being digestible well you're kind of actually you can you're looking up like you can actually look up and see his mouth like see its mouth so you're yeah i guess you're shooting down like your hands like in that direction um and yeah it does not seem to like that you start hearing like

[01:36:50] really nasty like churning sounds and guttural sounds um from from inside here as things start contracting and retracting and such yeah so we kind of wait to jacob uh you are in front of two uh human faced uh wolf fiends that had just once been like the shining twins with black with pitch black eyes so i'm gonna growl and then i'm gonna snarl and then i'm gonna charge in and

[01:37:20] attack okay which way are you attacking left or the right left is always right fair enough uh i rolled this 17 i get a plus four to that yeah so it's a 21 to hit

[01:37:50] that will hit okay check this handy dandy thing yes the um secret archetype cards that we now have

[01:38:11] so the uh

[01:38:43] description on these cards are different than the books that we have on our phones hmm okay it's an older version on the phones right oh that's true yeah i did see that in the book the physical book they did change the uh uh how long it takes to resurrect after uh when you're a b oh yeah changed it it's now like i think 2d6 hours what was it before minutes uh 2d6 rounds yeah yeah yeah though i think they may have fixed that also

[01:39:13] in the updated pdf too so probably all things does well i mean i did i did i did put in that comment so this is four and a five so that's nine uh ten eleven twelve so that's uh twelve damage

[01:39:42] from my bite okay and they need to make uh it needs to make a strength save all right and so that was the left one right yes sorry that was the left one right all right um has to do with strength save yes okay that's gonna be eight that is not enough it is prone oh okay

[01:40:12] so take a bite rip her to the floor there's a yelp doesn't like that at all uh and the next up is actually it it's gonna try and break free of your grapple of that okay or is it a grapple or is it it's not a grapple okay so it's just basically a trip attack okay so it's just basically gonna try and get up on this on using uh is it half its movement speed or half its movement turn or yeah yeah i think it's half

[01:40:41] and then it's going to try and uh uh i'm gonna say it's going to try and uh bite you okay i'm gonna be honest i've been pouring over my stuff trying to figure out what to do what are they even fighting what are they even fighting i have not been paying attention to their turns because i've been pouring over my stuff and trying to figure out what to do okay great

[01:41:10] um two two yeah basically the kid the girls from the shining but they have like black eyes so they're black eyed kids um and then they shifted after saying you've been a bad dog they shifted into these human-faced wolves okay gotcha um makes more sense that they're biting and yelping now yeah uh and yeah uh and like they're they're human faced and they still have like nasty canines almost like a baboons kind of like canines and such um

[01:41:40] but uh yeah that's gonna be like i mean that's hitting you that's that's just gonna hit you that's 25 yes that hits um so i need more diets and that's gonna be

[01:42:12] 13 damage piercing okay uh and it gets another attack that time uh it is going to get you for 14 okay does that hit you no no okay um so yeah it chomps down on the first one but then misses the second time where it tries to chomp

[01:42:41] on you uh and then uh we go with whatever is eating uh john because no one has seen what it looks like on the outside um so yeah it is just um uh so yeah you buildup uh at your feet and like it starts like gunking up all your stuff as like this putrid chocolate pudding

[01:43:11] begins like oozing like churning up above like toward like about like basically to your like torso the thing with that is it's liquid hmm i have water rock well it's good because like this all this does because all this thing that's happening um you get regurgitated from the amount of damage you do it's okay it was regurgitating cool i was honestly considering like trying to figure out ways to make it

[01:43:41] do that so that's fine you did just get shot out of this thing into a wall so i need you to roll um acrobatics to try and not like just ding a ding the side of the wall acro yeah acrobatics because it's enough that it'll do a d6 advantage at least uh that's that one at disadvantage 17 okay with 17 you actually manage to like stunt man fall

[01:44:10] um like and like basically distribute your the kinetic energy yeah and not like hurt yourself but like it's still like a oh god and you're just covered in like this chocolate like mucus and uh you look over and you see what you were it was what had eaten you and it's this giant flabby humanoid toad monster made of fucking chocolate he's made of it yes it appears to be made of like chocolate flesh okay

[01:44:41] careful biting him um and it's just like kind of like like why'd you have to go do that why'd you have to go eat me it's what i do shooting bulls is what i do it's just kind of like truncing toward you to go and like start like slam at you um so uh uh yeah that's what it does though on its turn it basically just regurgitates you um

[01:45:10] so next up is the is the bar vest on your right um and it is going to try and chomp down on you uh jacob okay so and it just like boop uh it just falls on its face uh it must have like hit a like maybe went through the floor or something like that like a weak spot on the floor because it just like face planted into the ground if you're in melee with somebody and they're getting up from prone do you get an attack of opportunity not anymore

[01:45:40] no okay you need talents for um but that's what that bar vest does uh because that's what i'm using for this thing um and next up is marcel so that second one that fell is it still on the same floor above or is it come down here now i'm gonna say it is actually still on the same floor um yeah all right so how high above me is the hole in the ceiling um it's like the normal size of like a kitchen roof or ceiling so like it's not like it's probably like

[01:46:09] six feet above or like six seven probably about seven feet up in the air okay so i grab the nearest table i drag it over underneath oh you could probably just actually hop onto like the stainless steel or the rusted steel uh like island table that's like in the middle of the kitchen area perfect let's go with that jump up onto it can i see into the second floor yeah yeah you look up and you see that your wolf your dog friend is fighting two human-faced wolf creatures and you still don't see any sign of where john is but you can hear like something lumbering beyond

[01:46:39] um can i get up there yeah uh they'll take an acrobatics to try and climb can i use athletics instead muscle it should be able to yeah yeah muscle up that's uh 24 okay yeah yeah you managed to grab some strong like uh some remaining strong beam like support beams and like basically huff yourself up all right so and you see yeah he's

[01:47:08] there's one like faceplant on the ground next to him and then there's one that's biting into him so is that all my movement you figure uh that's all your movement yeah okay but they're they're about like 10 feet down the hallway so i could still charge my ringer actually yeah that's what i'm gonna do charge the one on the ground okay and i'm gonna hit it with a heavenly strike all right

[01:47:39] 17 to hit uh 17 will hit perfect so then d8 another d8 at 8 13 13 damage and has to make a dc 15 constitution save or is blinded oh and it's radiant by the way uh it doesn't matter

[01:48:08] really yeah disappointing um sorry how much difference uh 13 13 okay yeah not everything's going to be like filth created and have immunity or have a vulnerability to radiance um admittedly we fight a lot of filth that's true yeah we do uh that's a constitution save he has to do yeah or she has to do uh that's gonna be eight

[01:48:38] no blinded blinded you hear like in a weird raspy girls like little girls voice my eyes my sister help um but uh that is your turn yep all right john this thing is charging you great on what grounds being tasty oh god internal assault mm-hmm that's exactly what that is

[01:49:08] breaking it breaking and exiting yeah okay uh i'm on my ass uh yeah okay you you you were able to like stuntman like pratfall but like not like and not like ding your face on like the on like the side of like a room door like a room frame or something like that okay but uh yeah you're still on the ground by pro okay half my uh movement speed to get up mm-hmm and then um

[01:49:39] okay the room i'm in yeah it's like an old like dingy like uh like storage room like there's like some size probably like 10 by 10 you sure no it could be whatever you want i'm just saying 10 by 10 small okay probably like 20 by 20 i don't know 15 by 15 mm-hmm like it's a it's a storage room it's a final answer yeah final answer 15 by 15 it's not like this place itself is like kind of like a small like a narrow

[01:50:08] kind of building as it was mm-hmm so okay like the the ground floor was like half of the ground floor was a was a shop front and the other half was a uh was a kitchen area so yeah yeah you're in like what you're in basically like an off like the main office of like the business and like the storage area so great it's not great but it's fine yeah there's like uh there's a single window in here with like that's like completely caked in dust and dirt um that's like

[01:50:38] just barely shining light in here like giving you like a low light uh atmosphere can i extrapolate that that means he doesn't like light no uh it's just like it's low light well you might be able to i mean um actually roll me an arcana i have this advantage yeah 10 10 yeah you don't know what this thing is and what it's uh

[01:51:08] what any two pieces are yep okay then um where's where's your where's your uh where's your college kid where's your college man your college graduate there's no time yeah all right um i'm gonna just i'm gonna start by casting haste on myself okay which is something i haven't really done before um willing creature myself my speed is doubled i have two more ac advanced uh advantage on dex saving throws and additional action

[01:51:38] that i can use for weapon attacks and a couple of other things so cast haste whatever the semantic component component for that is and all that um probably draw something on the ground like stamp on it turns into like a the pointy boost arrows of video games um and then so that's doubling my my speed now so i how far away is he from me uh well uh 10 feet in charging okay cool uh is there a

[01:52:08] door hit yeah he's he's coming through it oh okay he's entering into the room i'm in yeah okay cool yeah and there's really no exit for you aside from like maybe defenestrating through like that small window okay just mag double yeah um okay so i that is an action but i gave me an action i can use for weapon attack so i will use that um hmm what i'm

[01:52:37] wondering what could i do to potentially hold my action to try to dodge out of the way last second to get him to face plant on the wall that would be an acrobatics like a held acrobatics roll basically uh that would be a very like difficult afrobatics i don't like my acrobatics roll though honestly you're acrobatic yeah i'm gonna say this is like a hard acrobatics yeah over 20 yeah i'll pass on that and i'll just shoot some bullets at him you're just like you're like nah nah

[01:53:11] one was really good damn it okay um 17 i'm assuming it hits him he's pretty big that does hit him okay cool oh they fucked up so bad in this book oh what'd they do the ritual section that describes how rituals work they copied and pasted it from 5e yeah

[01:53:41] including the tags cleric druid and wizard none of which are classes in this game what to say i mean yeah it is what it is like well i mean no i was looking specifically because the magus is very similar to a wizard in a lot of ways but in many ways it's not so i wanted to know whether i can ritual cast um as a wizard

[01:54:11] does because wizards don't have to have the spell prepared in order to ritual cast it clerics and druids have to have it prepared in order to ritual cast it gotcha but there's no clarification with the magus i will leave that question i will ask that question in the uh in the discord like at some point to find out about that okay sorry um dave i'm shooting with bullets i feel like

[01:54:41] he's how far away is he 10 feet no bullets also remember that your bullets explode they do i rolled two twos so uh so that's a 9 10 11 damage 11 damage from three bullets and i'll use the rest of my movement to just sort of snake around the left side try to get stuff in between him and me there's not a whole lot of stuff but yeah sure is it just an empty room or pretty much an empty room

[01:55:11] there's like a desk behind you and like some some uh uh uh like moldering like paperwork and maybe even some like it looks like a janitor's office basically yeah um but uh that's what you're gonna do on your public trying to escape um jacob okay you're being bitten by one of the wolves oh sorry bonus action magic weapon on myself as well so as i'm like running to the side i'm like casting shit

[01:55:40] on the side of my gun yeah well i'm gonna bite her back okay fuck that bitch funny cause she's a dog uh 15 hit no this is not the one that's prone right yes this is not the one that's prone this is the one that basically you're trading blows with oh no i get proficiency too do yeah so this should be uh three and

[01:56:10] four is seven so it should be plus seven so that'll be an eighteen that worth okay okay uh don't put ten and three uh thirteen damage from my magical bite okay does not like that but is

[01:56:40] still up and such so is that what you uh that's all i'm going to do yes okay i'm not expending all of my anima in this fight well that uh that one is going to again uh she receives that bite and is going to turn in kind pretty much um that is going to be fifteen no okay uh she

[01:57:09] tries to bite and that fails so she tries to claw at you then on her next attack uh that is going to be seventeen that will do it okay uh that is going to be six slashing damage how allergic are you to dogs okay that's good because i

[01:57:38] explode in a uh shower and confetti of fur like i mean just a hurricane of fur and then it's me standing there okay well i guess kneeling there yeah okay and you're face to face with this human faced wolf monster as she just clawed at you you've been a very bad dog not so great is it

[01:58:08] really mean i'm not the one that just got pinata no that was your sister uh well you technically you also could have cut to you as well to be fair i mean yeah um but uh yeah that's uh that's what she does and then that's what happens to you so next up is the uh is the frog beast that is uh charging at uh

[01:58:37] at um john john so uh yeah it's just charging at you and going to try and bite into you again um that that is going to be oh with a charge it's uh advantage advantage yeah how far away is he from me 10 feet so like you i'm feeling i think he had to cover at least 15 on charge

[01:59:08] or he said that he entered the door oh fair the room is 15 feet yeah i guess i got hit to the wall basically i'll live it i'm glad that's it does also mean though that you get advantage on your next attack um no that gives me normal okay uh 18 no no nope okay haste help me yeah it actually saved me

[01:59:38] you're like whoa and he just goes through the wall great like crashes into it and goes through it and like uh and like you're like no in like down like into the waterlogged like street up below oh so he went outside yeah he went through the wall well i know but he could've went through the wall into another room inside yeah not not onto a street per se but basically the actually it would be the street yeah he crashes

[02:00:08] into a street basically below he just like kind of like getting up from like being in the water and swamp and stuff but yeah that's his turn basically so yeah you managed to like toro him away yeah yeah you what i wanted to

[02:00:49] a that is blinded and trying to trying to attack Marcel trying at disadvantage yep and blind where's my shoot i just dropped i see oh man noises i got it thank you alright so disadvantage to try and thank you uh

[02:01:19] that is going to be eleven no okay well she's got another attack see how she does twelve no okay so she's like chomping around and just like not hitting anything uh Marcel you're up i'm gonna

[02:01:49] hammer her so she's still prone right uh no she's not oh no she got up when she was on her attack okay yeah wait am i at disadvantage uh yes you're still at disadvantage unless you uh okay yeah just not wisdom

[02:02:18] stuff that's fine yeah okay yeah continue the plan hammer in the face um so hammered mm-hmm i'm gonna go with beatdown uh 11 11 does not do it 11 a game yeah

[02:02:48] it's just a chomp and chomp and like air and then you're just like slam slam against like the wall and then like the floor basically yeah it really does that's what i've been dealing with the so but he's in the wall assuming i'm like peeking out from the side of the uh the ripped open wall yeah you're like uh guys so there's a there's a giant fudge frog out

[02:03:18] in the out wow

[02:03:47] you forget they'd hear it coming that's the problem yeah if they just stayed where they were and didn't try to move they'd be okay the worst thing was like sometimes during the summers i would mow a lawn and i could see these little baby toads running and jumping away and some of them would trail of blood behind you it's fertilizer yeah that's what it is okay shooting bullets

[02:04:19] okay 24 to hit uh that'll it i figured as much no no oh actually wait first thing i was gonna do was um no i'll see how this plays out actually

[02:05:00] 20 okay so 20 from that salvo 20 damage from three bullets oh wait actually but wait there's more i i had magic weapon on so actually that's plus one damage okay so one more damage yes and it's also magical damage now if that matters you figured i check yeah okay bullets number two were you counting for exploding dice

[02:05:29] yes okay uh rolled a pair of 15s 26 to hit that'll hit yep you're basically he's like splashing around the water like on his belly pretty much i'm like slowly walking out of the building like terminator actually no not like terminator pretty quick actually because i'm on speed right now wait so hang on hang on because like how do you like he's on you guys are on the second floor

[02:06:00] so oh oh i didn't realize we're on the second floor you guys are on the second floor he felt he went through the second floor and landed into like some marshy water oh okay i wasn't aware of that so yes i'm just looking out there just lacing into him i just imagine you like climb down the second floor like the side of the wall we could say that there's like a stairwell like a stairwell like those emergency fire staircases there that you can be using as you're like you're like climbing down like really fast like is there like a pipe that can just hang on

[02:06:29] just slide down one hand yes that's how that's what's happening okay fine um so yes uh second roll of damage here wow that was not as good uh 10 12 13 magical damage 13 magical damage mm-hmm all right and because i'm cracked out on haste i get a third shot nice that was fuck this guy in particular fuck fuck

[02:06:59] you better hear that one oh another coin so it like click or jams yeah basically jams on that yeah definitely reload for dramatic effect i'm actually counting my bullets though okay that is the end of my turn i suppose okay uh well um this creature

[02:07:29] is not having a good day uh but um we move over to jacob mm-hmm so you've been just like um trading blow trading bites and blows with uh um with uh one of these uh wolf creatures okay uh shoot me again mm-hmm mm-hmm yep

[02:07:58] i'm going to uh spend two anima okay and i'm going to uh quicken cast scorching red one of them misses that one is a well does a 13 hit uh 13 will not

[02:08:28] hit okay does a 23 hit 23 does hit okay does a 27 hit that does hit okay okay uh and scorching ray is i believe two dice six it's yet okay all right so the first one that hit

[02:08:56] does five damage okay second one also does five damage wow those were shitty rolls okay but because i did that as a bonus action i am going to uh also um use uh uh uh firebolt okay

[02:09:23] because why not 18 hit yeah hang on a second yeah look at something here uh sorry how much does an 18 that will hit okay and that's two die 10

[02:09:56] 16 damage 16 damage you say wow i did more damage with the cantrip than i did a level spell okay i have a question it's funny how that happens sometimes about your the fire that you're setting off on this thing would you say that you have left it engulfed in flames that are uh at least 10 feet high or wide no okay

[02:10:20] neither of these spells does any lasting damage to fire or lasting fire damage unless something is like very combustible gotcha well i mean actually you are in a an old leptated well soggy workplace so yeah shame you didn't take that perk to make spells uh lingering lingering right uh but yeah so it is the bar guests turn which yeah that's what they're they are um

[02:10:48] you you know that it's a bar this is a bar guest um because you got to school for such things i mean this isn't a bar i don't understand why it's a bar guest but yeah really more of a chocolate factory guest i'm sure uh does uh 27 hate you but no uh 185 does uh does um 21 hate you yeah bold do donkey bold do that'll do

[02:11:20] oh wow okay um 92 damage 17 damage on the first bite okay and then it is going to bite again uh and is gonna miss swing and a miss so that is what that one does uh so and then we cut over to the bogan uh sorry the the frog monster yeah

[02:11:49] um and it's just like what do you have to be so mean and he's like shoots out its tongue at you trying to uh get you okay to clarify did i actually stay up there or did i no you no you swung down oh i did okay for like that's cool but okay i figured i would have had to roll to do that sort of thing yeah i don't know primarily because now you're in range of its tongue oh i see i see you uh but yeah so it's going to uh

[02:12:19] launch its tongue at you um that is gonna be yeah that's gonna eat that's like 26 yeah yeah i'll do it yeah um so first things first you are going to be you are going to take as you are grabbed by or like hit by this thing uh you suffer 10

[02:12:53] yeah 10 necrotic damage and you must make a strength save okay nat 20 okay you are you manage to like you get like blasted like struck with this like necrotic tongue of this creature but as it tries to then wrap around you like like using that tongue launch uh you manage to like kind of like step away or like break free or like basically like use your gun to like

[02:13:22] kind of just like kick it away from you yeah or i'm hasted so i just squirm away quick enough yeah yeah not again not again nope nope nope um and uh that's what it's going to do so uh next up is the bar guest that's being that's currently blinded um and trying to bite down on uh marcel so the first bite doesn't do anything

[02:13:52] i rolled a nat 20 but then i rolled a 2 so was it at disadvantage yeah oh yes oh damn so it's just like chomping around it's like sister help me right because it's blind yes mm-hmm oh yeah i'll see if it i guess yeah does it match for that zoo or nope no just just dc-15 no it doesn't do uh yeah it's like five no yeah so uh yeah

[02:14:21] it's just kind of biting around and not hitting anything um in its panic uh marcel beat him again or at least try jeez these chairs are slow i was gonna say you have the chair slow or you're slow those things are take so long to like get the uh like put the um whatever that the foot the holder thing up yeah all right new player he's still fighting one right yeah yours is still up are you in melee with it

[02:14:52] i'm gonna flank around behind it okay just avoid yours yeah avoid mine concentrate fire on that one now i have advantage and i'm gonna smack it okay uh 23 that would and i'm going to beat down max damage uh 17 and it's not prone that's the sound it made yeah

[02:15:22] sorry how much damage biggest strength save what was the damage sorry uh 17 17 okay yeah 17 is not prone uh 5 or no 7 on its uh constitution oh it's dead was it strength strength oh sorry strength um it's a little bit better uh it's 9 nope so yeah okay so how much was the damage on sorry 17 17 thank you all right

[02:15:49] all right um and now i still have no attack and now i'm gonna beat him with a blind side 19 that'll hit 14 damage and the next attack against him is at advantage 14 14 damage all right

[02:16:19] so you're now getting double advantage on this guy excellent all right uh that is so top of the round john but i am rapidly going to get an animal um range of the enemy um like 10 feet again okay well then i'll uh so i'm on the street now yeah well a waterlogged like side street basically but yeah okay but i can go either way okay you're on the open

[02:16:49] pretty much okay so i'll flank left um 30 feet or something because hell i can go 60 feet that way if i wanted to swamp and water like swampy water like that way war walk fair so but yeah sorry i'm going 60 feet that way honestly so um yeah i'm just going to cook it over in that direction in that general direction and um

[02:17:16] odd you would say that so even though you should have the ability to do that odd yeah okay cool yeah so you're going 60 feet away from it yeah okay and then i'm doing more if that's okay yeah okay it sounded like you want to do more things no you're good okay um i'm launching a grenade at it okay so pink

[02:17:45] uh 19 uh 19 yes that'll definitely hit him excellent and nade damage is three of these and he gets to make a dc 15 deck save is he he's not prone is he uh no he is no he got okay

[02:18:13] it's not very good but that's fine nothing else this will just alert my allies and unfortunately other enemies to my position but that's fine uh seven seven damage is all that fucking did seven damage yeah yeah it's just a death charge is basically next to him mm-hmm but i still hit him yeah no you still hit him basically trying to take chunks of those chocolate guys

[02:18:43] so even if he didn't eat me i could just get through the hole in his stomach yeah um but yes uh i will continue shooting though okay because i still have more bullets to shoot oh actually my gun jammed mm-hmm now we get the fun option of do i clear jam or switch gun hmm yeah i'll just

[02:19:13] clear i'll clear the jam so what would it be to clear a jam uh to clear a jam um i know with sharpshooter they have probably speed boost thing but i'm not sharpshooter probably the clear jam uh it's probably just like um uh probably like a half an action move or uh half a move action oh it's move i think so yeah i think it would be aaron what do you think uh for clearing a would it be a bonus action or something yeah um yeah i'd say for him it would probably

[02:19:43] be well what's your what's your archetype mercenary then yeah it's probably a bonus action yeah okay one of your bonus action okay for me i would say it would be a full round action it's like how do i do this yeah okay so um yeah i have the ar-57 on me so i just kind of rack it and check the the uh reach make sure like another round is actually going in okay i really think you should get this pink jump and then i will count as that one bullet is gone because i extracted it

[02:20:12] um fly not your hammer and then um yeah i'm gonna put some rounds on okay shooting bullets 17 to hit 17 to hit oh to hit yeah i wish it was damage yeah 17 to hit that's okay heat up those bullets

[02:20:41] wow a one good job me uh nine 10 11 12 damage okay from solver one i rolled better so i hit excuse me and that's 14 more damage okay um

[02:21:11] yeah how'd it come ooh he did yeah i was just like no so yeah after clearing the jam i just kind of take a knee because i'm 60 feet away now i'm actually quite far away walking off like jesus like with a gun basically because you're walking on water yeah oh man i just felt prone on the water yeah i'm gonna fall prone and just like take my time uh he's standing up though right yeah he was standing up yeah okay cool so um did he follow

[02:21:40] me like he's looking my way yeah he was looking your way yeah okay uh is his is his tongue still like retracting back into his head cool then i'll i'll put a couple of i mean around his chest and his face but you know a couple of shots are gonna go straight through that tongue yeah is the tongue like fleshy yeah it's like a well it's made of chocolate the whole thing is chocolate he looks like he's completely made of chocolate but like the chocolate like has this like fleshy kind of like look to it as well it's kind of like how like

[02:22:09] living constructs are technically made of like flesh stone it's like stone but it's flesh too it's kind of like that but chocolate and flesh interesting okay either way um so yeah a couple of shots going on his chest one that goes straight through the tongue does he bleed or is it just if i ask anything it's chocolate that's the answer it's chocolate yeah so first shot goes in chest and one in the tongue and then the other couple like one goes up higher in the tongue in his mouth he does have

[02:22:39] like regular fleshy eyes like big bulgy like frog eyes fantastic the last shot goes through one of his fleshy eyes then out the back of his head okay he doesn't have much of a neck but his head snaps back a little bit and then he just like tumbles over and starts like kind of melting into the water excellent i need to roll a perception test okay six no sorry

[02:23:08] yeah sixteen sixteen yes um you're like you're lying prone on the water right unfortunately shelly you're like yeah i got it what's that moving behind below me and you see a massive crocodile or alligator um swim uh swimming like above below you and it looks like it's getting ready to like turn around to like get you or like breach the surface yep so i'm like scrambling on top of the water to get back to my feet and sprint

[02:23:38] away yeah so um it's going to attack you excellent you have a chance to dex saving throw yeah not just simply like get bitten well no no like um like it's not just a uh like i'm not it's not like a hard like attack or just like you you're just suddenly like yeah i did ah yeah i know your ac is actually admittedly that would be hilarious it would be it would be amazing um but yeah so uh

[02:24:08] dexterity saving throw do you need that for me no okay 17 hit no okay so yeah you like shit as i you're like scrambling up yeah like walking on above the water slightly above the water as a crocodile or an alligator a massive alligator breaches the water and begins like just like like it felt you didn't touch the water but it felt your presence there and like it saw the movement above the surface

[02:24:38] so yeah okay you have you have a crock that alligator deal with great um but through the comms you'll be like okay i got the uh the fudge frog but now i'm being attacked by an alligator how are you guys doing uh well cut away over to uh jacob we're mostly fine here now and i'm going to um i'm gonna hit it with my stick

[02:25:07] okay is your stick better than bacon my stick my stick my stick better than bacon oh wait no it's a disadvantage right yeah nope oh what no i mean it the creature i have advantage on it yeah the creature is a swanj okay then i'm gonna i'm gonna use uh firebolt uh i rolled a 17 so 27 uh that hits okay

[02:25:38] we're bringing it we're bringing it we're bringing it back firebolt uh 11 okay 11 fire damage so as it bursts into flames uh it cries out to its sister it's like sister flee when it dies okay it just it just kind of like combusts into ash gotta work please she didn't get out of here either

[02:26:09] um but uh yeah next up is that that's what you do you have another shot or is that um i mean i can i can have another shot no fuck it i'm gonna spend another two anima and i'm going to uh quicken cast uh uh uh scorching ray again and hit her with all three okay well she's blinded so

[02:26:40] um attack rolls against the creature have advantage okay and the creature's attack rolls are of disadvantage so yeah at uh 25 does it hit um no no that hits yeah you're good okay does a 22 hit yes and a 24 hits okay so all three hit

[02:27:34] so it takes 16 fire damage as a rapid fire pelt it with scorching rays how much damage is that 16 okay i haven't even located the guy yet i just realized um 16 okay okay uh okay that's what you do then yep uh she does not like that she cries out for her sister and uh then uh

[02:28:04] we kind of wait to the alligator that is currently trying to chomp down on uh on uh john jesus how many things are you fighting over there yes uh that's gonna be he finished off the amphibian now we're under a reptile yeah next is gonna be a bird how did you know um 15 hit um so me scampering getting away i didn't actually get to move my move speed i just got out of the attack basically yeah okay and what was that sorry 15 no

[02:28:34] okay has another attack does an 18 hit you no okay so it's just like i'm like sliding back on the water with my legs spread as he's like chomping in between my legs it's not but it's very close is what i'm saying it's very harrowing yes uh and then we go to bargest uh the sister um that is still blind um we're gonna see if she gets out of her blindness that's constitution safe right

[02:29:05] merit yes constitution safe um 16 yes okay so she uh she suddenly like kind of shakes her head off shakes her head uh to get the um to be unblinded and such um and then sees the what's happening is like sister it's like it's like fuck this and she just uh kind of winks out

[02:29:35] i'm gonna do a new bow it's a elbow right sure yeah um it's ridiculous perfect actually before she before she blinks out she's like mother will want to hear about this blink okay so i want to make a arcana check sure because i want to know if i think that was uh 15

[02:30:11] 15 so 25 on my arcana i want to know if it's uh if she used uh teleportation magic or if that's um illusion magic okay so how much was it 25 she used dim door okay she teleported so she's in 500 feet yeah

[02:30:41] which we're in an amusement park so i mean there's a lot of places to hide in 500 feet yeah she she decided fuck this i'm telling mom then vanished yeah and then teleported so uh me yeah so that's what she does so she is effectively out of the fight um and uh next up is marcel

[02:31:13] are we still in combat well one of you is there an enemy still in my place so you're looking around like there's nothing inside it seems uh and even like the the creature like the wolf creature um has turned to ash and then the one that vanished or has like teleported away but then you're hearing like outside like muffled like um uh the sounds of splashing and gator and gator like growling and snapping and uh probably um john's uh signature help help help probably

[02:31:42] i guess i'll go towards that so yeah you you run over to the same like room that he was he was being taken to on this floor to see this like defend this giant like kool-aid man hole in the wall and you look down and you see uh he is um comically and like direly uh evading a a large alligator that is trying to bite his balls off yeah so 60 feet way the hell over there yeah 60 feet in the off

[02:32:11] down the street and i can see it yeah is it within 60 feet uh yeah it's within 60 um no it's what's within 60 feet i landed and then ran 60 feet and then dodge rolled away from its attack two or three times so it's probably about 50 feet away it's probably about 50 feet yeah so you're probably within yeah sacred flame okay um does it have to does it hold on let me double check on that one i think it's a deck save

[02:32:44] i know that noise that means it didn't roll well they're all too familiar i know your towels at this point you should play poker no if i was playing poker i'd have a mask yeah just wear the cultist hood all the way forward just enshrined my face in darkness yeah

[02:33:15] but i didn't yeah dexterity saving throw dc 15 yeah a 2 then no you take 1d8 radiant damage yeah you take 1 okay oh that was wrong die size yeah that was a 6 3d8s i'm using the wrong die size this whole time oh shit 3 damage 3 damage all right uh it does

[02:33:45] not like that but it's also in water so oh with sacred flames are also don't sacred flames radiant damage it's not fire it's not fire uh yeah it just makes it angrier um so top of the round john i'm running 60 feet away from it you're getting up now instead of sliding yeah i guess technically i dodge rolled out of the way and i'm on my ass so i'm using half of my roll i'm using half of my movement speed to get up and then running 30 feet that way towards

[02:34:15] the fudge frog yeah where it was yeah so at that point i am out of the water i assume right yeah yeah i mean this yeah the gate yeah um i'll say like as you get like back on my ass of it uh the gator only follows you so far and then as the water shoots getting shallower it stops yeah like i was just gonna run over there like slide and to the stop turn around just aim at him and see if he actually wants to attack me or not yeah so basically holding my actions yeah you you look back and

[02:34:45] you're like it's uh it's like uh for a moment it's like stay it's like it's still in the water like it's like calculating like should it go on land and then decides nah i'm just swimming oh off shoot it shoot the bastard he's fine we don't get xp from him yeah yeah that is the end of the combat for now yeah um

[02:35:14] that was fun so uh you guys two of you guys got some information about um about this place because you know there is a mother in quotes and that it apparently is the mother of these barghast like creatures which i get i'll say like without rolling or making a roll or any of that uh erin you can kind of surmise that that's what these things were so um do you want to roll an arcade to see what that frog thing was like you can

[02:35:44] kind of see part of it like melting away in the water as you guys like get back out outside as i'm laying on the ground next to it yeah because actually when haste runs out it only lasts a minute but that combat probably took about a solid minute second 22 on arcana 22 uh that is a basically a standard bogan um they're uh oh yeah that's a standard bogan oh just a standard one eh so easy to deal with

[02:36:13] well i mean you handled that and a gator all at the same time uh-huh yeah yep uh no you didn't handle godzilla yeah it's kind of weird that it was made of it smells and seems to be made of like chocolate but otherwise like yeah it definitely fits the bill of a bogan so what the hell's going on here yes well there's some creature termed

[02:36:43] mother around i imagine she's the one who's taking children um just our luck it's not going to be this thing as i point over to the fudge frog i imagine not if i had to bet or if i if i had to bet and i wouldn't want to uh i would say that it's in some way related to a bar guest you know a pretty standard run-of-the-mill bar guest oh yeah yeah totally i know what those are

[02:37:13] yeah totally yeah totally yeah i'm gonna roll poorly for my deception three i see three of your lies well all right i have no idea what that is so what the hell is it a bar guest well it's the dog creatures we just fought yeah what does that mean well i mean like you turn into a dog are you a bar guest no i turn into a good boy

[02:37:42] that's true um yeah so how where do you want to go from here because you know that the the the bar guest that escaped um it teleported within a certain range probably but like you didn't really give you any clear like direction because it just teleported have you been able to send the drone up again um you try um you're gonna have to roll

[02:38:12] a dexterity to try and like control it properly like on launch i don't remember how long is the short run an hour oh is it uh it goes right in the water like it like damn it yeah can i fish it out sure hey stick your hand in that down roll a deck save nah it's gone yeah it's just

[02:38:41] like it's like you can kind of see it in the murky black water there water but well there's 10 grain down the hole is it waterproof no so then there's no point salvaging it anyway wait what did you lose my drone oh i'm sorry gay i should have put water walk in the drone too you should have you monster at least it specifies creature i know that means you have to name it then it's a that's basically

[02:39:11] a construct yeah like chris's opinion yes um mike mike the hawk no we have one of those already in our games yeah seb's uh star wars oh his starship yeah we're not doing i'm not allowing that in this game it's the millennial falcon god also good um but yeah so uh where do you guys

[02:39:40] want to uh go from here um basically you have left or right because like um to the left of you guys is the cajun country and uh what's left of dc comics superhero adventures uh area and then to your right is the looney tunes adventures and mardi gras region you guys more in the dc or looney tunes well i really like to get rid

[02:40:10] of this disadvantage i've got i don't know what you're talking about in character we're taking a short rest right getting rid of the disadvantage on you is leaving the park yeah from what i gather is not being here we failed on you guys might get to re-roll if we take a rest i don't know well i'm almost at anima so i can use 10 minutes

[02:40:40] okay um as you guys are doing this also um you guys can roll somebody or any all of you guys or any of you guys can roll a perception test as you're kind of looking around to make a to get a um get some rest i think i still have advantage on that uh perception as you're like kind of getting ready to like kind of like settle down for just like the finest place to rest right now 20 20

[02:41:14] 17 17 12 okay marcel uh as you're looking around you guys are kind of like looking for like probably like to like the uh maybe one of the other stores or i mean like you know the fudge place is now clear so maybe go in there for rest but as you're looking around like down the street and some of that just for like extra like um like ops and scouting surveillance and stuff uh you do note that there appear to be a bunch of plush like old

[02:41:44] sagging like rotting dolls and like carnival plushies and stuff like that hanging from trees and like light posts down toward where cajun country is well that's probably not good it's technically that's probably good because that's a sign that that's probably the quote unquote wrong direction to go which means it's their lair whoever mother is or whatever

[02:42:13] because they wouldn't be decorating something that isn't their turf although this whole place might be their turf yeah yeah you kind of just like you just know that like there's like in some of the trees and like just you didn't notice it before but like now that you're looking a little bit more like cautiously you can see that you can just make you start seeing start taking note of like a pattern of these hanging plushies and um tokens left uh

[02:42:43] kind of hanging on on spots are you guys injured by the way no here not particularly i mean a little but if we're taking a short rest then yeah i'll be fine yeah and you can use as many of your hit dice as you want for the short rest right so where are you guys resting like in the fudge store go back into the fudge store it's really the only safe-ish place right now yeah

[02:43:12] it just like it's like it's like a clerk scene like you guys are just like one of you guys just resting on with this on the counter like just like lying down on the countertop yeah it's probably me yeah considering i was half dead yeah you definitely have like some like weird melty scars um from when this thing was like dissolving you into its chocolate great

[02:43:43] but uh yeah so um what's a long rest like 30 minutes 30 minutes to an hour yeah is that a long rest or a short rest that's a short rest yeah a long rest is eight hours yeah so a short rest yeah so you guys yeah so as as you guys are doing this uh light the light starts uh dimming as like it's starting to get sunset wasn't it like about four or five i said it was like late in the day yeah so it's getting about like six or seven in november so

[02:44:14] yeah that doesn't matter as much down there i know but still um it is starting to get like low light okay and like the frogs start like croaking a little bit more and like you start hearing more like bug chirping and such crickety crickety the weird chocolate wounds on me are they um they're like caustic wounds like acid wounds almost are they seeming

[02:44:43] like i should be doing something magical to them to uh deal with that um i mean that probably is the best way to get rid of them because like normal like otherwise you're going to treat them like acid burn like nasty acid burns do we actually have like medkit stuff i do do you i have a medkit i could use that okay because me laying on this countertop isn't healing these weird

[02:45:12] i could also make you goodberries would that also do that because like i'm able to heal through hit dice but there's like some weird festering wounds on me through the the chocolate attacks well the uh goodberries are magical healing yeah so maybe probably possibly perhaps give me one and see what happens okay well then i will cast goodberry and i will hand you a couple of berries appreciate it mom nom

[02:45:42] maybe healing word will work yeah maybe healing word is a good one too mm-hmm so you have a couple good berries a day seem to help the weird festering wounds yeah they start no they start kind of like not sloughing off but they start like like they're basically like scabs like once you once they like it like they start like kind of like peeling off a bit and like fresh like good skin beneath it so we're doing a short rest yep i'm going to

[02:46:12] use one with gaia okay to replenish some spell slots right because you don't normally get any spell slots on shorts right short is just for health basically yep and then i'll spend i guess five hit dice i guess i'll reload the AR57 actually reload it out of

[02:46:42] combat yeah i cleared a jam in combat that's new i'm really wanting to expend a full magazine and reload in this game that's why i'm like haste i can use more bullets in one round maybe i can actually get through a whole bag yeah all right that was really cool it's like just like descending down on pipe it's like ah yeah just lacing with bullets oh and

[02:47:11] then i will eat a couple of good berries excellent and short rest animal replenishes i have shortly rested okay i guess i'm ready to go all right as you guys get ready to go um you uh go outside and are confronted

[02:47:42] by several alligators like a dozen alligators and one particular big one that's kind of leading the not the charge but like leading the group and uh it opens its mouth and like it's not like talking like articulating talking but as it opens its mouth uh it's almost like a speaker uh and an old kindly woman's voice uh plays on it

[02:48:12] it's like dear hunters you appear to find yourselves in my quaint little kingdom are you looking for something specific here for the child i see could i offer you something to leave without the child

[02:48:44] do you happen to have a helicopter and a pilot and a mechanic sadly i do not possess such mortal things and then the gator cat turns to marcel but you erusen touched you have a curse upon you i could remove it for this for the price of the child he's getting

[02:49:13] me uncatted worth the helicopter i don't think so you must understand i care deeply for all my children and i'm willing to for uh willing to um overlook yeah overlook the death or the the uh the death of one of my my little ones in return for the children that i am currently have in

[02:49:43] my possession you have other human beings i have many children they're all mine we only need the one i'm afraid i can't part with my children is there something else you might want in return i have several artifacts that i have accumulated i may be willing to part with them i am not unreasonable

[02:50:15] teleportation device see if we can get into the helicopter yeah something to teleport to somewhere that you know like intimately basically i love it's like i give you a moral conundrum teleport maybe she's got a teleporting on her like completely just like like walk past the fact that like there's like dozens of children being taken yeah not important we can get the hind back

[02:50:45] well well once we have our helicopter back it would be much easier to come and glass roll through fucking guns blazing no fucks give it your dad just like hey so city of New Orleans you guys want like that area like redevelop like cleared for redevelopment i my son has a company has a business that specializes in rapid demolition what's the term when they're like when they're restructuring or refurbishing

[02:51:15] like old buildings and stuff like that it's like gentrification well we're now for extreme gentrification with extreme prejudice there will be not an inch of brick and mortar left in that space yeah so she's yeah this woman or this kindly old sounding woman that's speaking through an alligator's mouth

[02:51:46] is offering to a trade in exchange for the child that you guys are trying to get she's willing to offer something else but i love what do you think i want to know what she's doing with the children clearly turning them into were creatures or no no she says she cares deeply for him and they're still around okay well then yeah probably

[02:52:15] she's not a hair you think back on like the two bar guests and how they refer they were like they refer to each other as sister and like the mother it's yeah marcel kind of has it right it might be that they're

[02:52:45] and also you're you're you're you're not gonna get the kid like there's like you're not getting if you're if you're getting the the free artifact or are you saying like fight your way through yeah rescue the kid but also get all these artifacts that this person is apparently hoarding yeah or really she's just sweetened the pot to kill her technically is she static yes that means she's killable she's got legendary actions we've dealt with those before you're also

[02:53:15] currently surrounded or well you're not surrounded you're currently confronted with a dozen alligators plus who knows how many more of those barghasts that she has she might send her children after you guys as well or even some more bogans like you are clearly like in like uh you are clearly like into her domain basically yeah like she has claimed this

[02:53:44] park as her own but you are monster hunters this is kind of what you do yeah but you might be in over our heads here all right what about this we challenge her to a duel she comes out we fight her we win we get the kid but her children live she declines

[02:54:14] we nuke it from orbit with what nuke she doesn't need to know what we have uh-huh i don't know if she's gonna be like as confrontational as you think she as you much as you want her to be she can she's kind of giving off like chill lady vibes that just wants to be left alone with her 500 cats that said for you i will say this also for you specifically um john um

[02:54:43] this place is kind of oozing like some kind of malevolence or some kind of like draining effect on the soul like you you felt it like first hand yeah like there is she's not a she's not a kind she's giving off this like persona of a kindly old lady but she is still definitely stealing kids yes yes i'm not saying what she's doing is right and i mean to be fair again devil's advocate she's not so much stealing children she's just keeping them here when they come when they

[02:55:13] come here of their own volition for thrill seeking and stupid reasons oh so she's just um doing like a uh what's the term for that darwinism yeah basically supernatural darwinism yeah yeah she's like calling the idiots basically i mean but is it calling the idiots because like they are like in it they don't actually believe in supernatural threats yeah and then it is supposed to be like

[02:55:43] harmless yeah but they should because they're real yeah but no one knows that except for like the secret organizations and stuff and we're trying to keep that under wraps yeah so basically we're here we're the reason why they're here i am literally specked around lying to people and convincing them that it doesn't exist the next spell that i take is going to be modify memory oh really yeah wow yeah effectively i've given you guys a moral commend like you can do

[02:56:13] this the the hard way and basically fight your way through uh you can take her deal and not rescue this kid this this illuminati sorcerer's kid and get like your ability to to um uh to swiftly get your friends out without any issue with the illuminati um or you can take her deal and and uh get an artifact that might that may or may not help you you don't know what she has i mean there

[02:56:42] is nothing saying that we still can't do a jailbreak it'll just be another session yeah we have found a problem here yeah we probably should solve it yep because yes i'd like to discuss this with my colleagues first if you don't mind oh no problem at all we'll just be in the back here yeah you go back we'll be right back you just close the fun the fun shop store yeah the windows still blast it out but it doesn't matter yeah you guys go into like the back kitchen area as there's just

[02:57:11] like a dozen gators just waiting outside there's probably more showing up too yeah are they all within 30 feet of each other technically yeah so as you guys are yeah you guys are now alone away from her so we make a ring that looks like a tiara or a crown i cast enlarge on it we give it to her as a gift

[02:57:41] she puts it on her head the spell wears off brings back down crunches her head and we're done i love this plan i can see a few holes in it yeah her head being popped like a zit yeah we have to be made of pretty sturdy stuff okay also you're talking about what putting on the gator or her herself

[02:58:10] her herself so if she's willing to even see us she would be if we came to an accord don't worry about that part i can convince her that's true yeah convincing people of things is the easy part yeah it's coming up with a good plan that's the hard part

[02:58:41] so yeah we could burn them all by fire like just fight all of them go extremely loud on this sneaky assassination like what you're suggesting and then still having to fight all of her children which are now enraged although maybe the spell would be broken at that point who knows probably would be and remember i am a druid animal friendship is a thing true you think you can gasp i think we can threaten her but she is also offering to remove your

[02:59:11] curse yes you're fine with it oh i should have actually kept it in mind because i made sure you like when you were if you were rolling any like really decently or poorly in that combat i don't think he rolled any ones no i don't think he did either ones or twenties so she's probably used to dealing with the illuminati because she's an american creature and they like to do things maybe we should point out that we are not illuminati we are templars we blow

[02:59:41] shit the fuck up so you can play ball or you can get nuked we're basically threatening a god here's a question um aaron roll me in with her key okay

[03:00:09] 10 22 so you're not exactly sure what you're dealing with because you haven't actually seen her you just seen like you just heard her yeah but she's in a swamp she's a hag well she's either and i'm playing balder's gate 3 she's just like the t-shot hag she's either a swamp witch or a hag she could be some kind

[03:00:38] of fey creature or some other kind of demigod in the swamp so she's definitely not she might just be like a really powerful anima infused human or like magic infused human thank you dave no problem i noticed how annoying that was just to look at it because you have to like not spin it as you're lifting it up to you

[03:01:08] i stopped caring whether or not it was like spinning stuff when i was lifting it up and just looked and waited until it stopped oh fair even if it rolls along the way up yeah because it's not like i was cheating to get myself a better roll no because it might have landed on a natural 20 and i was moving it hmm so okay so what are we thinking

[03:01:32] that could work but we probably won't do especially since i'm not even sure that i have access to the enlarged spell do you not even have that damn it i mean i'm no no because my well i have i have other secret

[03:02:01] archetypes technically so if we spend 30 minutes to rest you could switch archetypes and then do the and that possibly happen yeah okay butter off out of here we find a proper magician to cast the image wow insulting it would take longer to find another magician than for him to just sit down for 30 minutes to be fair there's always greg

[03:02:32] greg was pretty good at transmutation and those kind of enchantments yeah yeah he was he had to use enlarge on himself all the time otherwise people would laugh oh it got it got charlotte away from you her name's claire sorry claire that's not it claire avoid come on yeah it got claire from you

[03:02:55] she'll be disappointed when he runs out of spell slots i know there's another dirty joke in there somewhere but i'm not i'm not gonna try to find it that's very big of you like his car wow but anyway uh yeah

[03:03:23] so what's the plan guys i vote fight like all of them all of them fuck it cleanse the cleanse the air out of the way i feel like you'd do really well if we played warhammer fantasy she says she's got a bunch of artifacts we just say we want to see the artifact she will show us the artifact worst

[03:03:59] thing that happens is we have a fight anyway all right oh queen of the gators we're willing to consider your parlay of exchange of the artifact for us not taking the child we do however want to see the artifacts and verify their quality roll a persuasion

[03:04:30] i am that okay so i rolled 12 and persuasion so plus seven so that's a 19 a 19 yes oh actually is this a persuasion or is this a deception um i guess you are trying to be deceptive right i am yeah you do want her to show us the

[03:04:59] relics it's just the part of considering it yes but that is deceptive so is it deception yeah fantastic so that makes it a plus 11 so that will be 23 okay i'm better at lying when i am persuading yeah how much was what was yours 23 23 okay she ponders this for quite a while how long

[03:05:29] is quite a while four or five there's a pregnant pause she was a mother yeah um and so she's like very well my servants will take you to a to a you know my servants here will take you to me okay the gators all kind of just like part and then like the main

[03:05:59] the one that was taught that was she was speaking through kind of starts leading away like through the gap you guys are if you guys follow um they're they're basically are chomping maws facing you on either side the whole way great and then you're essentially escorted like with a pack of like eleven gators behind you with the

[03:06:38] but yeah so you uh she leads the gator leads you through a like kind of swamp like a swampy it's like for the most part it's actually like it looks like there's some areas that are like drier here strangely enough but it's like kind of like a bayou swamp people sort of fake aesthetic that they've put into this like caging country area and she

[03:07:07] the gator leads you to a um to a basically into the set into the heart of what was once a roller coaster of some kind like into the center of it where it's all looped around and stuff it's like we are going on a roller coaster Marcel just like he told you that but yeah part of the roller coaster is like dismantled or fallen over and some of that but like it's basically formed like a sort of a boundary and then in the center

[03:07:38] much older looking like swamp cabin in the center of this sort of soggy center of the roller coaster perimeter and the door opens and this just hunchbacked like warty it's like if a toad a really warty toad

[03:08:07] was suddenly reshaped into a human being and there's like old deer skulls covering her back creating almost like a turtle shell of antlers and she's wrapped in it looks like old Six Flags staff t-shirts that have been sewn together there to create a dress

[03:08:37] or like a sort of a dress and sorts and she's like her big old thick muscular arms like tree trunk arms she's jack yeah they're just kind of wrapped in vines and black orchids and her eye one eye is protruding outward unnaturally big and the other one is being pressed down by a tumor or wart her

[03:09:06] ragged black and white hair like shocks of hair are just kind of falling down in weird crazy ways and she is sort of flanked from her by four more of those bar guests and they sort of growl at you with their semi human wolf visages and she just kind of calms them down with a

[03:09:36] gesture it's like so you wish to trade so you wish to take a look at the artifacts I have well it doesn't it looks like we might be a little bit out matched here so rather than take the worst play we can make

[03:10:06] very smart move very smart young lad very well she kind of does a gesture and floating out of the cabin come several artifacts one is a staff with tentacles kind of writhing from the tip or from the edge or like yeah I surprised

[03:10:36] you want to get rid of this one another one is a an obsidian and like twig vine sort of circlet that would go over your head and then another one is a chalice now are we talking like a golden

[03:11:05] chalice rubies and stuff or are we talking like a wooden cup it is the carbon carpenter yeah no it looks like it's a got gold and some jewels or some gemstones kind of in it and it looks like there's some really fine cursive writing engraved on the plaque and then a fourth object comes out it appears to be a fist sized

[03:11:35] glowing pearl these are what i have to offer in exchange for allowing me to keep the children and what are they you want to roll an arcana sure i think he was asking her to write i was but it is fair i might actually know you might have an idea

[03:12:07] that's a 23 we'll wait and see what that is i kind of forget giving him that it was really awkward unfortunately yeah we'll take the 23 okay um well the the the orb it's probably a pearl of power a pearl of power god i hate you is that the thing that gives you free spell slots yeah it lets you uh recharge a spell slot yep once for long rest

[03:12:37] uh you're not sure about the the chalice um because it's uh well it's oh and and to be clear he was editing the everron earlier this week and uh this is why he has some pearl of power and i went off a little he went on a tirade i had to i had to caption it it's actually on the discord oh really i missed that and he's like i have been a wizard for a decade for a decade a goddamn decade

[03:13:04] and not once have you given me a pearl of power and now that i'm a ballad it was so great i was just like and i even like like i dm'd it was like it's like dude like why didn't you ever ask me if you won the profile i was like well i think that's a faux pas like i can't just ask it's like well then it's i'm half to blame yes you need to ask for sure yeah it's like with me that's how i was raised like like sometimes i make characters

[03:13:33] and like i make them to like spill fill a specific role yeah but like you don't necessarily know that so like that role could never come up through the entire campaign yeah it's like it's like so like this actually looks like it's like my dad he won't ask for help yeah mine won't either but he expects me to do stuff when he but he doesn't tell me to do something i'm not a fucking mind reader you have to follow him around like a dog yeah so no you need to turn to your dad and say

[03:14:02] i am not your wife or you are not my wife you don't get to expect me to telepathically understand what you want yeah but anyway um yeah so you see a pro power uh or that's clearly what that artifact is um the the the staff looks like a it's draugr in in uh in origin so it's probably like uh and you you think you've

[03:14:32] you've studied that like some some kind of similar artifact it's like a a staff tentacles uh or a staff of black tentacles basically a force of trusion not quite okay um and then um ask consent what was it oh and then the circle the the kind of woven obsidian circuit or circlet um it's it's giving off a uh

[03:15:02] what would be what would be the magic for like teleportation uh conjuration okay it's giving off a like you can kind of tell that it's giving off a the magic of conjuration i know i just and that it's teleportation because you said that but i'm gonna i'll edit that out yeah it's giving off a uh an aura of of conjuration magics i could have another helm of teleportation tiara tiara

[03:15:33] that's fine i don't mind wearing it like a pretty pretty princess if it happens we could teleport places you also don't know what the the chal the chal seems to be like sloshing with some kind of liquid inside of it as it's floating there but you don't know what it it does the blood of christ can we ask her what they do yeah okay so she says like um actually yeah because you you did you did technically ask her and then she then you go back um sorry yeah so she says well it's good because um he

[03:16:02] he looked at all of them yeah got an idea of what they are and then asked to see if she's lying basically mm-hmm well i plucked the uh this this pearl and that staff from a sea witch of the drug um um and uh that circlet i helped my my old coven god or gods rest their their uh spirits we we crafted it ourselves as a way of

[03:16:31] of uh extubating ourselves or um extracting ourselves from from a location of direness and the uh the cup i took off some conquistadors who found a a mystical grotto mystico grotto into the key so is that a cup filled with the waters from the fountain of youth she smiles

[03:17:01] as you're whispering that like she just smiles like ear to ear it's very insulting because her her teeth there's way too many teeth in her in her mouth it's like that like uncanny valley where like they it's just like really small teeth that just like keep going yeah what were you saying there you're whispering something we'll take the lot all of it it'll be killer if you promise

[03:17:31] never to leave never to come to my never to leave this no no if you promise never to come to my abode or interfere with my business ever again i will give you all four sold morally oh dear god moral dilemmas

[03:18:06] she's just petting her like one of the bar guests just like yeah can I have a moment to discuss this with my colleagues take another moment when she says promise are we talking like she's probably going to make us binding binding promise yeah but here's what I would like to suggest or mention to you guys if I can take a moment away from the

[03:18:35] witch to talk um she just stands there waiting as you're like just like sitting there like petting her petting one of her children essentially as we're huddling up or like talking really quietly through the throat mics or something yeah like she's saying that she's making us probably magically promise never to show up us again never to come back that's true we can subcontract that's absolutely true yeah sure that's how that works

[03:19:03] sure that's how that'll go we don't know any better I'm just suggesting that she's saying that we can't no no she did make us promise not to interfere with her business we're not interfering no we're not paying somebody else to do it we are actively interfering yeah but we can tell the Illuminati what's up we can't we'd be interfering yeah that still counts well this is still an Illuminati problem

[03:19:32] we would have to just let this go yeah yeah basically just have to ghost I mean I would like to point out that it's an Illuminati higher ups child plus whatever children or teens or what have you that have come in here and under under semi like stupid but innocent uh like shenanigans we're not here for that okay basically they're not gonna get us a hind

[03:20:02] that's the equivalent of like the child of george sorrows it could actually be the child of george sorrows it could actually be the child own goddamn child and isn't bothering it's probably not his favorite child anyway

[03:20:32] clearly so it makes me wonder how did us three schmucks get in here to do this yeah because we are kind of schmucks you also know that you aren't the first people that tried to come in here and like there have been others apparently that have gone missing in here there's like 30 dudes out there all dressed in illuminati stuff they kept sending people it's just they kept getting trained better yet roll perception test

[03:21:06] 26 does that alligator have a little have like a a tattoo or something no yeah have some like tattoo like markings or like does that one have like a little ear piece embedded in its scales okay so uh not to burst your bubble I think the illuminati did try a number of times you're looking at most of them out there see this is what happens we don't just nuking

[03:21:35] from orbit right they try to be subtle about shit and evil just takes over but hey not my alligators not my circus let's get some loot and get out of here so we're not gonna fight I mean I guess they're not even worth tasting nuggets of experience anymore wow but Chris dictates whether we've done enough good and or bad

[03:22:05] to warrant a level up that's true we can't just stay I do have some delicious new spells to try out if we want to go down the path of fighting Chris has no even specified how many alligators we're dealing with I said there were a dozen that met you guys and escorted here there might be more you saw on your thermals you could make out like this place was teeming with targets of opportunity

[03:22:37] definitely more than a dozen were in the water that one was scary plus you don't know if she's got more tricks up her sleeve there could be whoever knows how many more barghasts plus she's a caster yeah so I can take care of it also she kind of looks like a muscle witch because her giant trunks arms got a multi-class you're ready to spell

[03:23:07] eventually I can take care of her polymorph no I don't have that I don't think this is a fight you're winning you just said that you wanted to nuke this from orbit yeah leave and then just artillery shell it like how is that going to save the child by exploding him into jibs it's not but it'll save the rest of them

[03:23:37] like no more will come in here and get captured I guess yeah how is that going to get us the hind back let's keep focused here it won't but it'll make me feel better when we're not doing it yeah yeah is a head to head competition I don't think we have the juice for especially with two of us at disadvantage that is true also oh right I'm the only one not at disadvantage although if she gets messed with enough that

[03:24:07] might mess with the disadvantage I don't know I don't know the extent of how that's affecting us yeah I don't really know how she's accomplishing it it might just be a byproduct of her sanctum yeah if it is then she doesn't have to concentrate on it and I actually read that earlier today if you cast it in the same spot for a year it's permanent anyways certain spells yeah yeah it could also be a lair thing since you are in her lair

[03:24:37] effectively like as soon as you entered this park but I mean I'm pretty sure I can negate her we're still loving that might just take a look here Chris is questioning whether or not I can because like worst case scenario we flip them the bird we fight them we all die party white and then we come back but we get nothing out of it no then we get to come back

[03:25:06] and try again explosives we can only come back though if our bodies are disintegrated oh yeah so instead we get taken out we just get back up and keep going yeah in like hours but your bodies may even move because you might have a body it depends on the deal we make or she may have done I don't know what she's into she might be doing some necromatic not necromatic

[03:25:36] necromantic necromantic stuff try to resurrect our bodies early okay or like putting curses on us so even if we do come back great we're bar gas now and we're under her spell if it's being done by construct does that make it necromantic yes actually so fun fact you'd be the only one stuck as a bar gas why because I can change

[03:26:05] into any animal shape as a bonus action and he's sometimes forced in fact a shapeshifter so once he turns into his werecat form when he changes back he goes back to normal unless his new normal is the bargain no that is actually in the rules for well I don't know about in 5th edition but it's in the lore from 2nd and 3rd

[03:26:35] edition that you can't permanently shape change a were creature I have a question and this is totally unrelated to her abilities reincarnation would that work on you guys if your bodies are oh reincarnation is valid it would be very interesting on both of our parts because he would no longer be cursed

[03:27:05] yeah but wouldn't you because it doesn't reincarnate it's random I don't know about in 5th edition although I guess we can find out because that's like total hypothetical she had that yeah and you guys one or all of you guys dropped here well that's fine we'll just come back in a couple of hours you may not come back as you

[03:27:35] you'll have to look in the core book reincarnate is not in this one oh it's not in the playbook where the player's in it wait well it's not in the secret world book but they pared it down yeah like there are less spells available than there are in 5th yeah because it's just showing the ones that they chose for the game yeah well I mean like monsters have other abilities

[03:28:06] it's a hard choice but you would still retain all of your class levels as the new form so he if he got reincarnated as an alligator I don't know why I can just google 5th he's a non-cursed alligator and he can now smite with his bite smite bite 5th edition reincarnation table on rule 20

[03:28:34] you touch a dead humanoid or a piece of a dead humanoid that's not fun it's going to be a list of other regular humanoid creatures of D&D races that's not fun I'm changing that you're going to go back to the third end one I think it's a die 100 in third edition and there's a bunch of humanoids on the table but it's not some of it is

[03:29:04] squirrels you touch a dead humanoid or a piece of a dead humanoid provided that creature has been dead no longer than 10 days the spell forms a new adult body for it and then calls the soul to enter that body if the target's soul isn't free or willing to do so the spell fails wow I would be squirrel with a gun have you seen that game it's a game called squirrel with a gun where you're squirrel this is also purely hypothetical because this is just

[03:29:34] something she may or may not have in her repertoire and could fuck you guys over if you guys TPK or even just one of you drops incarnation table from third edition badger black bear brown bear boar centaur dryad centaur fuck yeah let her kill me gnome hawk halfling human leopard owl pixie satyr wolf wolverine other dm's choice i get to be you jackson

[03:30:03] yeah wolverine yeah i'm also the bear is just like smoky the bear that's how that's the that's how smoky the bear became a thing a ranger died and a a witch just like reincarnated him and he ended up as a bear yeah maybe died in a forest fire yeah yeah in the smoky mountains in particular now how are we feeling about this fight still not a big fan yeah

[03:30:32] so yeah let's just okay like if you guys decide to fight just like just pointing this out you have to face this hag at least 12 alligators and at least 4 to 5 barghasts okay so the barghasts we would have to fight at disadvantage you two at disadvantage yeah they didn't get to re-roll after our short rest no

[03:31:02] it's this place it's you feel one saving throw your speed the one rest of day yep okay god damn it if you guys had like gone outside and tented your short rest and come back in probably I probably would love it because the barghasts are literally my only concern because they're not animals they're magical beasts the alligators once she's taken care of and the spell is broken I can talk to

[03:31:31] animals and gaslight them into leaving a salon the barghasts I cannot yeah so we would have to handle five barghasts at least five barghasts there may be more there's just four here outside but my party doesn't feel confident that we can pull this off

[03:32:00] question so we're in a we're in like a little hut oh no you're just outside the hut like you're kind of in an enclosed area I think it's like looking at the map like looking at the map it's it's probably like a 50 to 60 foot radius space

[03:32:31] that's completely surrounded by like wrecked roller coaster ruins basically is it is there water no there's no water it's actually on a little hill like all the alligators aren't in the water they're just standing there yeah they're just like crawling there okay I mean alligators are no less dangerous on land oh I know oh I know oh I know that just changed a potential save I had for us but no

[03:33:00] but that's fine you're thinking lightning no I can't do it anyway so what say you gentlemen all right well you've been talking quite a long time the stair watch listen so you are confident you can deal with her I am confident I can deal with her

[03:33:30] I could offer some sweet tea I'm not falling for that one again not your first rodeo unfortunately not ma'am I know you may not have my name wouldn't dream of it she smiles this creepy long two toothy grin

[03:34:00] so then are we taking the deal that is my vote john I mean I don't want to but I don't think we I don't man okay if she's completely out of the picture we still have to deal with a dozen alligators and four how easy was it for you to deal with two bar gas moderately

[03:34:29] I used one anima point in that fight yes and I don't know what you're going to need to do to disable the witch but with dealing with the bar gas I'm assuming that's not including you so that'd be that too um so going or not

[03:35:00] I'm open to try the combat two against one I guess I gotta fight but you guys pick coming away with four magical items after one fight is not a bad deal it's it's not plus a bunch of well potentially some rescued children because you're not sure if these are also if the children are still are actually the bar gas or if these are the children you're supposed to rescue all the bar gas or if they're

[03:35:30] like in that shack uh like in a cage or something or a stew pot yeah I wonder if we can ask to see the uh most recently taken uh child the one we're here for because if he's already turned we might not be able to save him anyways well then that would decrease our bargaining power what if he's already turned we're not here for anything so yeah but the illuminati has the umph that

[03:36:00] they could cast a wish spell to turn him back yeah if his dad is as high a member as that you guys are hoping for because that's why you're doing this whole fucking thing like a high ranking agent of the illuminati then they should have the chutzpah to do as a wish spell to push somebody out of this kind of well they can't wish go on just wish him back already

[03:36:31] that doesn't quite work that way is it because he's like magically bound it's because he's in her domain kind of like there's interference yeah i'm always i'm i'm down for the potential of just shooting them all and dealing with this if we're comfortable doing that i love how this game is gone where it's like you guys were like nervous at the beginning and like oh god we can die and then it's like fuck we can die whatever and now it's like oh

[03:37:01] god we could die there's worse than death now yeah I do like the worse than death though yeah maybe you may be right yeah you might be okay all right i will uh walk up to her and hold out my hand i guess you got us there okay she uh yep shakes your hand and give me a save i knew it

[03:37:38] wait what charisma he's engaging oh what charisma save charisma save i'm not fully sure yet which one he's committed to dude walked up through bolts and got a fireball in the back pocket yeah we're in no we're not inside four fantastic fantastic spending three anima to make this spell autonomous

[03:38:08] lasts its maximum duration she is banished for a full minute okay unless she has a home plane this is not her plane in which case she is just gone but i think this is actually her home plane so she's just gone to a random other plane for a full minute yeah she's just like you shake and then like she realizes something's wrong and she has just enough time to frown

[03:38:38] at you and like half snarl before it's cut off as she just like thump okay we've got a minute barges go barges attack back is the loot right there by the way because she was just showing it to us as soon as she disappeared they fell to the floor jump and try to catch one which one i will say that there is one that's like you can

[03:39:08] see water kind of like falling out of it out of the chalice so i guess that was a surprise round yeah so we probably go initiative yep okay i'm gonna have to roll like 12 times that's what you get fuck yeah 14 initiative hang on give me a second give me one second vote on which one i should dive to save chalice

[03:39:37] i guess i could do alligators as a swarm yeah the chalice really not the orb i love don't the orb i want the orb but the chalice is the only one that we're worried about losing the liquid from uh the orb might break on impact no it's it's uh it's a pearl i will say none of them are gonna break because it's soggy it's still soggy ground okay the chalice yeah 18 okay sorry uh john what did you get 17 no i got

[03:40:07] 14 jacob got what 18 18 okay so you guys didn't change 17 17 okay and then i now have to roll i feel you should make the make them a swarm i'm gonna make yeah i'm just gonna go swarm rolls on the gators like two swarms of gators of six gators because otherwise which is not gonna be good because it's basically like this is gonna suck whoever

[03:40:35] gets swarmed by gators yeah hang on actually hang before i do like just say gator swarm what is a group of gators gaggle a congregation of gators oh god they're baptists gator congregation one and gator congregation two it's gonna be baptists and methodists

[03:41:08] and then four bardists actually there is a fifth one so i'll say that again as the like the door as you guys are scrambling for the items and like things are like happening a fifth bar gas bursts from the uh from the the door and it looks a little bit older than the other ones a little bit more gray a little bit more like mature that's really something circuit of teleportation is one of them yeah

[03:41:39] yeah we could well at least one of us you guys know what it can do yourself wherever on game you probably have to can't do it that is true does that take time hour we can hold these guys off for now right um hang on i gotta roll that would white abase and helms deep shit i mean i could get the hell out of here by myself but use this i'm gonna use my other new spell instead if we had a solid minute i could tiny hut

[03:42:10] but it's like a minute cast time which we don't have currently down to 54 seconds yeah pretty much well no we have a nat the first act no nat 20 for the for the second congregation great nat 20 for the bard test that's highly improbable it was a different die

[03:42:40] too i was gonna say you should use different dice now and nat 20 for them too no actually i got not snake eyes but like double eights for the next and

[03:43:11] need a tag because these are two different oh hang on i got some i got all this freaking dumb paper i can use so we are officially starting combat uh now

[03:43:41] that you've you've sent off the hag um so top of the of the roster uh there's a congregation of gators six gators now i'm i would like to point out yeah she is no longer on this plane yes any mind control that she has over them is no longer in effect true but they are all still angry wild gators wild angry gators yes and there's

[03:44:10] also five bar guests in here yes but the you you're basically bar guests to the left of me congregations of gators to my right okay so you're in the middle they're not necessarily on the same team anymore no they're no longer on the same team yeah i will make how about this i will roll a d4 one two three and then a fourth one will be a bar gas okay so one of the bar gas is

[03:44:38] getting he was standing a little too close he thought they were his friends yeah he was petting one of them it came in it got too close like because it was coming after you guys and then they went after that movement yeah so that bar gas is being attacked by just being let's see how bad that is okay um let's just i'm gonna just show you guys have you ever seen piranhas you ever

[03:45:08] see a an alligator death orgy uh all right so yeah that's definitely gonna do that so we don't even know where the kid is yet no not yet so could be one of our

[03:45:37] guests probably you know fuck do we have any information on the kid nope no no no you know nothing about it except that it's a boy you know it's a boy yeah you guys that's partially why i'm like we should have asked to see the kid you do know that he lives uh that uh he's probably knows his dad's an illuminati so like he's probably maybe he's expecting a rescue i'll give you that much of course it's that um

[03:46:07] oh god okay hang on i've gotta do some calculations now uh yeah let's just gonna be let's just go with that uh can i get some d8s how many do you need uh six more no no four more sorry

[03:46:36] all right okay okay yeah that that uh barghast is not doing too well he is grappled or actually let's see if he's grappled um okay he's not grappled uh but they are just tearing him

[03:47:05] apart um he's still alive and fighting but it's not pretty so yeah um that one's not doing too good uh next up is that barghast okay uh he is just gonna try and get away or just try and uh actually no yeah he blinks yeah actually yeah you see him he um he just um blinks out of existence similar to the uh the one

[03:47:35] that blinked out of existence of a teleporter away um so it is it is elsewhere uh but next up on the roster i should move you quickly adjust things here that would work okay so next up is jacob and you see you had a minute before uh the witch shows up again yes or the hag

[03:48:04] all right how long is each round six uh six seconds oh okay you have ten rounds mm-hmm before she shows up by the way how long has it been since uh my combat with the um the the fudge frog it was about an hour okay so my magic weapon is worn off by now okay i'm uh gonna tell them to grab the top of my staff okay and to hold on fucking tight

[03:48:35] well and then i'm going to hold my action okay until both of them can do that also yeah you guys still have to grab the items you haven't grabbed the items yet i dove and grabbed the chalice you grabbed the chalice who grabbed what like in the i was moved yet you haven't moved yet okay so yeah so you grabbed the chalice before like anything like in the surprise round basically yes all right okay um if you need to start attacking immediately merit go for it because i could just grab the stuff on the ground i'm already right there so um what if you want to help

[03:49:05] you more than welcome so jacob you're basically i guess i can use my movement to uh go scoop up an item too so i will uh i'll grab the pearl and you should yeah i figured all right uh marcel uh i will grab the closest item which probably the circlet okay that's it 30 foot of movement yeah okay but we should all be very close together now yeah you guys are all pretty close mm-hmm okay so i need to grab

[03:49:35] the top of my staff grabbing the head of his staff okay okay i'll use half my action to get back up and grab the rest of the staff i guess okay it's not my turn but yes yeah well that was yeah oh yeah yeah should be should be behind the tentacle staff marcel marcel's grabbing stuff he still has the heads because it's not my turn yet okay uh next but i still have my my standard action right yeah yeah yeah and there's one bar gassed out and there's two

[03:50:04] swarms of gators okay where are the swarms of gators behind you how far and beside you yes like right there they're like within 10 feet of you within 10 feet of me within 10 feet and how close are they to each other yes it's a swarm they are literally a congregation but both swarms yes fireball i will say the two separate congregations they are split off a little bit but there are still two groups of six are they within 20 feet of each other um

[03:50:34] yeah probably okay so i'm gonna hit both of those with a fireball okay so give me deck saves just a basic thing nat one on the on one of the congregations and uh 12 on the other nope would this be because they take no because the way a place positioned it i'm firing it just behind them oh i see they're in the blast radius and we're out but it's gonna be quite the light show

[03:51:03] so i now need uh 88 like 86 oh six if you want some of my cursed sixes you're more than welcome you're more than my gm d6s all right take both of ones if you prefer big money big money noemi noemi stop that's a lot of ones i told you they were cursed get new dice a lot of ones and twos all right next jcon i'm buying

[03:51:33] a bag of all of mine rolled ones and twos like nothing else and just get a picture of a picture of dice 12 and bring it back 15 everybody takes 15 and then you're gonna get a critical roll dice bag of you're welcome we'll find something better i don't know so everybody takes 15 fire damage 15 yeah okay that's what i roll on 8d6 yeah like i said

[03:52:02] you're welcome oh and uh right because the i don't know why i knew the math was so simple for that one actually way easier than i like what like why did i use a calculator for that yeah they have 15 health that one's just gone yeah no they have way more health um all right so uh that's your whole veteran do they take any additional damage from fire no okay um because it's like pretty damp here i feel like aoe should be super

[03:52:32] effective against swarm no because like how much how much hp is that actual swarms yes if it was an actual swarm but i'm just using it as like a horde basically okay but if each individual how much hp each individual gator have um so uh that's your turn john

[03:53:02] mm-hmm you grab on that uh the uh the head of the head of the staff yeah i'll leave the tentacle one there i don't think any of us are into that um i also need a free hand that's true to grab the uh yeah you're having to hold the chastain you see this oh it's got some like water in it like yeah drink the water no yes no i don't even know what it is yet so yes i'm

[03:53:32] getting back up and grabbing on the staff okay what are we doing arboreum i'm gonna plant the staff into the ground and yell arboreum and then the staff is going to turn into a 60 foot oak tree yep and now we have 50 feet of elevation over gators damn that was a good plan it was a really good plan that is yeah okay so suddenly a 60 foot oak tree rose

[03:54:01] above the uh above the uh the ruins of this old like uh this old uh amusement park roller coaster track hell yeah okay uh so yeah how the hell are we gonna deal with these things well bullets there's a lot of grenades and uh he's got fireball we got spells you got i don't know if we should use fire around the base of the tree that we're on i mean fragmentation

[03:54:31] should be fine if still living it's literally a magic item so mundane fire can't hurt okay yeah but you you suggested fireball okay fireball can't hurt oh does it just make mundane fire or is it magic fire it makes a magical explosion but it's it's very difficult to destroy a magical item okay

[03:55:02] okay this is a change of pace um yeah um any of you guys uh have a fear of a fear of fights no i do for realsies do you want your character to have a real fear of fights i'm already at negative you can't double negative me anyways i can make you drop things so i believe i have kept my promises i took the hag out of the fight and

[03:55:31] i was able to handle the alligators yes you're right but now what the hell yeah you got a gun i do has gun i has grenades mm-hmm yeah so uh john what are you doing i has gun okay i'll because i assume it's still his turn yeah yeah because it was my turn that was just his movement well basically it was just his movement just to grab the

[03:56:01] yeah because you can pick something up off the ground as part of your movement so i'm gonna like i i would say that picking something up off the ground is no different than grabbing the head of a staff yeah because i could be grabbing uh a coke off of a shelf it's the same thing yeah okay so um yes if it's my turn merit can you bring me uh the brio that's in the fridge so how far away is any like

[03:56:31] freestanding water it's like it's pretty far away yeah like there's a there you went you went through like uh shallow waters when you were going through like the uh the like under the uh the rail the rollercoaster tracks to get to this like area yep but that's like it like that's like 60 feet down and then like probably like 50 feet away okay then my best bet is to just how would i hunter's mark a horde

[03:57:02] can i do that it just works on that horde until that horde's gone until you've whittled it down yeah yeah okay and then it probably stays still stays on like the surviving individual ones right i would probably say so yeah yeah oh wait how high are we up 50 60 50 the tree is 60 feet high but we can't literally be standing on top you're in the limbs okay so yes i will grab onto a limb or something as i look down

[03:57:32] cast hunter's mark on the closest actually bar gas probably is there still one down there oh there's still like four of them oh right because there was a bunch of them yeah okay then yes i'll target one of them you tell me which one i targeted there's the closest one because i don't i don't know them by name um yeah you hit the fourth one okay um so he is targeted and i will follow targeting with bullets

[03:58:05] oh uh by the way that's not a disadvantage why you have 50 feet of elevation with the ranged weapon you have advantage oh because i have the high ground because you have the high ground so it just balances out yeah the thing is i rolled two dice one of them was a nat 20 re-roll it it would have been yeah it would have been disadvantage otherwise so yeah here comes the

[03:58:35] one give me the one i got two ones that's an 11 um 22 to hit that'll hit okay good let's shoot bullets why do all my dice hate me even the ones i create it's fine um everyone hates their creator apparently

[03:59:05] uh this is seven eight nine damage through three bullets two of them missed one of them hit him in the shoulder uh this is going well i know exactly where that one's going um all right i do have another shot though yep so i will do it again kapow it's a higher number on my roll so i hit as i rolled

[03:59:35] a 14 i rolled a 11 last time as i stared at my bullet dice don't fuck me this time are you still shooting the same one yes oh right i had a hundred's mark on him that does 1d6 that right that does 1d8 give me back one of my d8s sure