(Monster of the Week): Cluster Fork - Episode 18: The Ritual Part 2

[00:00:00] Hi there! Chris the GM here, but you can also call me Crazon or Review Cultist. The game you're about to listen to was inspired by discussions we had while trying to survive reading the Twilight books themselves. So, if you want to hear Adam from RPX and myself, and later in the series our friend Brownie review the Twilight novels for several hours reaping the fruits of our hubris, you can become a patron.

[00:00:27] Search Al Dente Rigamortis on Patreon, or simply go to the link in the description below. And you too can listen in as we regretfully descend into madness, reading and discussing the sparkly vampire and not-quite-werewolf books, and slowly die inside. Then again, we did ask for this. And now, enjoy the game.

[00:00:51] The next show will start in one minute. Two years after the Spork's situation, and a name change and asylum seeking later, Chuck Forks thought he and his daughter would be safe from further strangeness. He was wrong. Now, a curse has been placed on Nella, and Chuck must once again call on his old colleagues for help.

[00:01:21] With some fresh blood as well, are they bad enough to tango with the supernatural yet again? This ain't Helsinki, but it's certainly a clusterfork.

[00:01:32] Hi, welcome to One Less Die, a Monster of the Week actual play podcast. We are with RPX, and we are playing our Monster of the Week campaign, Clusterfork, a sequel to Chuck's Angels.

[00:02:01] And, yeah. This may or may not be the last session, hopefully. Not hopefully, but like... It's been a long intermission. We've been at it for a minute! It's been a very long intermission between part one and part two. We all went to the lobby and got ourselves a lot of snacks. Yeah, it turns out the lobby of the Lamina is very liminal, and we slipped into the back rooms.

[00:02:30] Let's all go to the lobby! They filmed a documentary about us just out in theaters now? Yeah, exactly. Do you have any idea how far I had to travel buying these raisinets? I had to wait for the grapes to turn into raisins, and then I had to cover them in chocolate. There are going to be some damn good raisinets, so I just got to say.

[00:02:55] But yeah, I guess before we get too far ahead, we should probably reintroduce characters. As you guys are getting back into the ritual that you had the intermission for. So, yeah. This is Jeremy, playing Geo Osborne, the Monster's Playbook. And potentially for the last time, we'll see how it goes with the rest of the ritual and punching Vex in the face.

[00:03:21] Looking forward to either continuing this on, which is always fun, or ending it, which rarely happens for us. Johnny! Oh, that's right. In order. Discord order, sorry. Discord order, alright. I am Joe, I'm playing Giovanni, Johnny Nerves, Nervetti. And, Jesus Christ, is he going to kick Chuck's ass when he gets back to Canada?

[00:03:51] He's going to... fucking throw that guy in the wood chipper. Nella to a convent, Chuck in the wood chipper. Yeah, Nella, convent for you. Then it's the church's problem, whatever shenanigans you get up to. Chuck wood chipper. And it's just like, lose my fucking phone number. Yeah, never call me again. We'll see your stuff in a bar going the way home, eh? Yeah.

[00:04:20] Hey everyone, this is Darcy. I'm playing Juliette Klein, the Pararomantic. Hopefully, this is the end of Juliette's month and a half of Canadian trauma. Hopefully she gets to go back to America. Maybe lose like 10 years, maybe if we're lucky.

[00:04:45] Meet Nella for the first time, not as a giant Shagoth. Yeah. And tell Chuck to be better. Just to be better. Hi everyone, this is David. I am going to be reprising everybody's favorite church monster hunter, Seagull. And I'm fairly certain that there are no Selkies to be found anywhere in this movie theater. But fortunately, I did bring the heat.

[00:05:16] Hello adventurer. Hi, I'm Brownie, or ZBrownie. Prefrising my role as Marvin Swamps. I have been notified that I am now an NPC by our summary. I'm not salty about it at all. And I will not be excising that salt with maybe an RPG at Vex. No way. Okay. So if we talk to Marvin, we just need to be aware that after two or three clicks, he's just going to keep saying the same shit over and over again.

[00:05:45] Well, you do have a new power. When I tell one of my really bad jokes, you can just yell, skip. And I'll have to stop. Hey, last and least. Hey, this is Adam and I am playing David Allen Doyle, the Southern Ohio redneck truck stop warlock kind of know it all. I have a playbook. I can't remember what it was. I think it's a professional. You're definitely not the professional. Yeah, I'm the professional.

[00:06:15] I am the expert. Hold on. I am the... You are... Yeah. Some sort of hedge wizard. You are the expert. I'm an expert. Expert with a splash of spell slinger. So yeah, it's been fun. I enjoy playing goofy ass characters and this may be his last ride. Who knows? All right.

[00:06:36] So yeah, you guys after a moment to kind of recover from the previous parts of the ritual that the Texarkane brothers have pushed you into to try and mitigate the damage and trauma that has befallen poor Nella. There is a flash of white around you guys and then things become getting back...

[00:07:03] Things come back into focus and you hear the projector screen or the projector sounds again as a new scene appears. This one is... You guys are back in Hindtail, the small little cozy farming community and small town. You're on the main street. You're near the... People are walking by and such.

[00:07:33] And they're all wearing different hats. It appears to be a morning or like a late morning. And you are right next to that greasy spoon or cafe that I believe Juliet would remember from your time in Hindtail. And yeah, you see Nella is actually in...

[00:08:02] You see through the glass of the diner that Nella and Hannah are both sitting and having lunch. What kind of hat is she wearing? Ask a question. Hannah has a... Like a straw cowboy kind of... Or like have a... I guess it's a straw cowboy hat kind of look. Like the farmer hat. Hmm. I'm like, here everybody. And I start handing out copper circlets.

[00:08:33] And then beanies because I just got one at birth. Yeah. Yeah. Nella is indeed having... Putting ketchup on her hamburger and her fries. Awkwardly taking the diner shaker sideways and shaking it over the top of a closed hamburger. Yes. Yes, exactly. Hannah is like trying to like... Like putting... Like gesturing with her hands. Like no, you had to like put all the way like over like down.

[00:09:03] And you guys also see... Just squeeze? Yeah, just squeeze. Yeah. And... Give me a second here. And you see on the table along with their food and such. There is a... A beanie on Hannah's side. But like kind of between them on the table. Uh, first things first. I want to try if I can get a scent for Vex.

[00:09:32] Oh, yes. It's got to be somewhere close. Yeah. Uh, right. Uh, all right. Make a, uh, I guess make a, a, uh, sharp roll. Uh, we've been using... If it's supernatural senses, we've been using weird. Okay. Yeah. Use weird then. Um, yeah. Uh, mix success. Mix success. Let me just see this thing. Uh, okay. Uh, yeah. I mean, the, uh, you also, uh, you, yeah. You, uh, you see the, the, the loadstone, the demonic loadstone is, um... Oh, yeah. We did have that.

[00:10:00] Pointing in that direct, like pointing in a direction, uh, toward actually where the, uh, kind of, uh, across the street and by what looks like the library. Um, and, uh, you think you saw a shape, uh, sort of like, or you think you see like this, like somebody like just out of view, um, around the corner there. Uh, I just want to look at, look at the group and be like, who wants to go kick the shit out of Vex while everybody else talks Nella down? Cause I just point.

[00:10:29] Marvin and I'm going to pull out my magnum. I'm going to say, all right. Do you want to rocket him or do you want me to shoot? Or yes. Yes. As Marvin, um, pushes back his trench coat that he's suddenly now wearing and, uh, the RPG appears. It is moving. Okay. It came directly from the other side. I'm going to circle the alley to drop the other side. Are you doing this in public? Like out in the middle of the street?

[00:11:00] Where there are people walking about? My other idea was for how to deal with Hannah was going to be something different. Um, I was just going to grab the closest person wearing a hat. Okay. Um, and put the magnum against the hat. Hold the hammer back. I just kind of say, I want you to listen to me very carefully. Hold her hat in hot. Okay. Yeah.

[00:11:28] I want you to listen to me very carefully. I know that you're all a hive mind and I know that you understand me. Nella is not going to date Hannah. Now, either one is going to be very sad or a lot of hats are going to be very sad. Which way do you want this to go? All right. Uh, I guess that would be a manipulated person.

[00:11:59] With the hat. Yeah. Whoever's rolling for David. Yeah. A natural peel. Yeah. Yep. Oh, that's a 10. A success. There is. There's the most. So yeah, you grab this, this like larger guy. Like he's definitely got like a farmer's tan going. Um, and he, his, he was wearing a, uh, um, uh, what, what hat, what should this guy have?

[00:12:28] I'm up to, I'm open to suggestion. Ball cap, Rattouk. I, you know. Yeah. Like he's not wearing a top. No, no, no. Krazan. Tell us, tell us what, um, either sports team or a company is advertised on his trucker hat. Oh, it's yeah. It's better. So it is a like fluorescent yellow ball cap, but from no frills.

[00:12:56] Um, that literally says, uh, no, uh, no frills ball cap for your bald head or for your balding head. By the way, I have that hat. I was gifted that hat, uh, along with some of my other friends, uh, uh, not too long ago from one of our friends, Aaron from one less die. Uh, I do have one alternate to pitch to you. I'm putting it in the chat now. Sure. Oh, that isn't capybara. That is not what I meant to send.

[00:13:26] But it's delightful. Mm-hmm. It's a, it's that meme where it says, I love when the baby animal is just a smaller version of the adult animal. A true baby capybara is very cute. I'm stalling for time on recording. Oh, by the way, I think the, um, the, uh, Let me get a four loco. If you want to be classy. Wow. Oh my God. Classy. I mean, for the class, it is a trucker cap. The main front of it is orange.

[00:13:54] The rest of it is orange, uh, green and black camo. No. And the words on the front say, let me get a four loco, a boner pill and $6. I'm pumped to. Wow. I want that hat in real life. That is up there with the no frills hat. I'll send you the link. Oh man. They're like a gallon though. Is all you're going to get, huh? I'll get one gallon of gas, please. Thank you.

[00:14:22] My wife, my wife paid three 24 at Costco today. So squeeze the pump over done. Um, but yeah, yeah, it's either. Yeah. It's that hat, you know? Yeah. I was going to go with like the, the, the no frills hat, but I like this one. Um, and yeah, this guy's definitely just like, he's like looking, he's kind of like his eyes are kind of darting around almost like, like not looking at anything particular, but like, um, almost like he's, uh, they're calculating something in his head.

[00:14:53] Um, and then, uh, who's looking into the window of the, I think it's called the flying saucer was what the, uh, was what the diner was called. Um, but yeah, who's, who's looking, who's watching, who's keeping an eye on, on Nella and, uh, and Hannah's interaction. No, Johnny. Absolutely. Yeah. I'm heading off towards where Vex is. Yeah. Yeah. We'll get to take any opportunity to yell at Nella.

[00:15:18] Uh, you see, you guys do see that, uh, Hannah, like kind of like, as they're having conversation, uh, does kind of subtly like grab the, the, the beanie off of the, um, or toque off of the, uh, the table and, uh, and put it down and put it back into her, uh, into her, into her bag. Like, uh, like that's on like next to her seat. So, um, and, uh, then, uh, they, they continue having lunch and just like, uh, and, and having a little bit more conversation.

[00:15:46] And then, um, sounds like, uh, as if you guys keep watching it, uh, it does seem that Hannah is saying something that Nella doesn't really care for, or is like kind of confused by. Um, and then, uh, Nella decides, uh, Nella just like kind of, um, gets up after like halfway through her, her meal and begins kind of walking out.

[00:16:12] Um, just kind of, um, in, in almost like a, a daze or a shock. Oh God, we're going to firebomb the city again. Uh, and then she comes outside and, uh, if you guys are, if some of you are still out there on the street watching, this, so like, she kind of like, as she comes outside, she's just like, uh, uncle, uncle Johnny. What? Hey, Nella. Where, where, why are you here? Like, weird seeing you here. What, what, what's going on?

[00:16:42] Well, you're about to, uh, make some sort of weird agreement where you put a alien hat on yourself or think about it. What? What? No. What? What? She's like, seems completely confused. Yeah, I know that. Listen, this is like the third or fourth time I've had this conversation with you. Some variant of it. You never seem to remember.

[00:17:08] So basically it's just trust me and say that you are on a path where you're dating aliens and monsters and it doesn't go well for either of you. Um, Just saucer pants for eyes. Like, like, like bewildered. And then I turned to Hannah and really she's fucking bad news, man. It's not worth it. Like, she, she just broke, broke up with me. Uh, like what's.

[00:17:38] Uh, yes. Okay. So we're already at that point. How do you know Hannah? Like, how do you know Hannah, Uncle Johnny? Like, like what's going on? Did my dad put you up to this? Yes. But in the future from this point, wrap your mind around that. Anyway, so Hannah, your hive mind, like really gets bent out of shape about this rejection thing. And that's sort of a bad idea. Yeah. Well, no, Hannah. Yeah. Hannah's I'll say it.

[00:18:08] Hannah's like coming out as well. Like when she hears the commotion going on and she was like, what, what's going on? You say hive mind and she just kind of like stops for a second. And then, and then everyone in the, in the, in the street stops and looks to you. Look, I don't have a problem with your existence. Everybody's got to live. But I mean, frankly, if you want the real, if you want the real story, this is all.

[00:18:36] Like basically a narrative flashback. Thanks to some fucked up wizards you made a deal with. Ring any bells for anybody. I think the hive mind might also, you know, be able to think forwards and backwards in time. So we cut away from that. It's a distraction. Yeah. We cut away.

[00:19:05] So how are you guys approaching? How's the other team approaching Vex? Behind the library. Who else going with Vex? Because I will. I mean, going. Oh, I a hundred percent am. I'm actually going to sit this round out. Julia is standing off to the side of this awful conversation. Ready to be diplomatic if need be. Yeah. You definitely are getting like, you're, you're feeling all the same. Julia, don't just stand there. Point a gun at a hat.

[00:19:37] Can see if I'll just like walk out of the alley that he had this guy in and just like with the. I am definitely there. Absolutely. Have you ever heard of like diplomacy on the tip of a spear? RPGs are pointy. I mean, Juliet's magnum is, is strapped to like in her belt.

[00:20:05] But not a, not a great thing to be handholding. Yeah. Well, with its radioactivity. It's a little more important at the moment. My pelvis bone has a half laugh now. Yeah. Okay. So, so the people that are approaching Vex, they are. What's going on there? Yeah. Is he like, it is any, is he in the form that we know him in? Yeah. Yeah. He's in his human form. Just kind of doing that.

[00:20:32] Like, like, like sitting like right next, right around the corner of the, the, the library, like keeping tabs on like what's going on over at the diner. Although he hasn't seen what's happening right now at the diner, but he's just like, kind of like standing there, like kind of like waiting, biting his time. And he's just like, like rubbing his hands. Like, yes. Drama. I feed on it. Yeah. Filthy drama. I'm, I'm, I'm accompanying you. Yeah.

[00:21:02] How are you approaching him? Like how are you? It's me, Marvin, dad and Siegel. I suppose so. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Siegel is currently threatening the big guy or at least the big guy's hat. And I am going to point out to him as I'm walking. If you get any ideas, this is loaded with copper dum-dums. Just so you know. All right. So. You want to give him the dad speech, dad?

[00:21:32] Or shall I just give him my speech? Or do you just want to start punching? I think we just start punching. That's how I like fights, guys. Just, you know, just waylay somebody. Say, Marvin, do you want to say hello? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Drop to a knee and aim. And that would be a sharp. And that's an 11. Nice. Nice. Yeah. No, that.

[00:22:02] Yeah. Just. You blow. You blow up where Vex was and a chunk of the local library in the process. I would like to say that I was aiming. You know how you can aim like dead center, like for the left leg, for the right leg, that kind of thing. Whichever side is. Towards the most likely escape exit. Okay. Yeah.

[00:22:29] So you're basically like, he's going to be like blown into the wall of the library. Yeah. If you've ever played a game and you've tossed a grenade behind an enemy to blow it towards you. Yes. That. Exactly. Yeah. I was like, oh, I just read. Like an elite from halo. And he does actually like, as he's like flailing in midair from the explosion. Um, uh, you just, he's just starts metamorphosizing into, uh, into his demonic form from his human form.

[00:22:58] Um, no one in town is screaming or reacting in a human way to the explosion. Uh, except for, for, uh, for Nella, who is like, like, like, like lets out a scream from about the explosion and starts running in the exact opposite direction. But that's good. Good survival instincts. Glad to see they've developed finally. I kind of want to catch, I kind of want to catch Vex as he's flying through the air and

[00:23:26] then like power bomb him into the ground. Yeah, go for it. Yeah, do it. Let's see what happens. Can I guess, can I get a plus forward for the bragdolling? Yes. Yes. Absolutely. I just want to do a tag team move because I find it funny. That's a 13. That's an advanced success. Yeah. You, you just hulk out into your wolf form, like your werewolf form or something. It just like leap on to like, like parkour off the building and like just midair, just bring them down.

[00:23:57] From the top rope. Um, and as, as this is going on, like, uh, this is when the, uh, the, the people around everybody, uh, just begin like pointing and like, like the, the, um, uh, body snatchers, uh, like thing where it's like, they just start like my eyes, like eyes wide, mouths open, tentacles begin like feeling kind of like crawling out from underneath their, um, their, their, uh, their hats.

[00:24:26] Um, and as, uh, I guess as, uh, uh, Juliette, you're, you're following with Nella, like, like she's running for dear life out of town. Um, you see ahead of you guys, uh, there is a, a white light that is tearing, like burning and tearing away at the, at reality, uh, around you guys. So. Oh, okay. Is there anything you'd like to say to her before, before the, the, the, the scene resets or the scene ends? Nella! Fuck! God damn it! You're so fast! Fuck!

[00:24:55] Fuck! Fuck! If I was 13 years younger, I could catch you! Curse your, curse your, curse your, curse your 18 year old, 18 year old physique! Hey kid, remember how much your family fucking loves you! Remember that! Remember, remember. It just, it fades into the, into the white void that like consumes everything. Um, uh, the last thing that, uh, you see, you guys see, uh, with, uh, with Vex is just

[00:25:24] like, he's like spitting out a, like a, a sharp tooth and there's like black ichor. And, uh, he just sort of like, like, like what the, who the fuck are you? And then it just evaporates. I'm surprised he had that much life into him because I think he's probably taking seven damage at this point. Yeah, no, he is. Yeah. He's hurt. Like that went well? Yeah. Yeah. That went really well. Um, and then we, uh, so that's when you guys see like one of the, uh, the tickets burns away.

[00:25:54] Uh, and that just leaves the sixth ticket. Cause I believe there was a sixth. Yes. Keep talking about this mystery coin slash mystery ticket that you guys got. Is the sixth ticket, the seventh seal? Is that what we're having, having here? Perhaps. Um, so we suddenly cut away, uh, again, like the projector, like kicks in again and like, like, like that, like film, like kind of like clicking sound.

[00:26:22] Um, and the white screen fades back into a, an evening scene. Uh, you guys are over at, uh, the Eagle slash Forks, uh, residence. Uh, that you guys started with all this, like at, uh, like, like their, their, their, um, their new home in, in Maple, in Maple Moose County. So, um, is it, is it, as we remember it, where it's demolished or, or pristine? Uh, no, it is still, like, it's still pristine.

[00:26:51] Like it was a, uh, uh, like a century old home, but, uh, yeah, it is not like untouched. It is untouched by Shagothian. Yeah. There's no holes in the side. Yeah. It has not sustained contact with the PCs yet. Got it. Exactly. Yeah. Um, and you see that, uh, there is, uh, like there is, uh, you're, you're pretty close. Like you're, you're basically in the drive. Um, and you see that one of the, there's a light, uh, in the main window for like the living room.

[00:27:19] Uh, and there's the sounds of like a muffled argument, uh, going on from within, um, that lasts for a few moments, uh, before, uh, you hear stomping. Stair and the slamming of a, of a door upstairs. And then one of the bedroom, uh, windows lights up, uh, and the, uh, the room, the room for the, the light for the, um, for the living room window, like the big, like kind of sweeping,

[00:27:46] uh, living room window, uh, the lights dim, but there's still like the sound that looks like the lights of like, uh, of a TV, uh, rolling. So is the Bex lodestone doing its thing? Um, the Vex lodestone is showing somewhere away from, uh, well, it's, it's, it's kind of, it's going like off away from the house, but also then like sporadically will like jump

[00:28:14] up to where the, to where the bed is or like to where the bedroom is. Mm-hmm. They're on FaceTime. All right. So Chris, I forgot to do this earlier. Can I go ahead and roll my, to begin the session, kind of roll, uh, one with the plan? Sure. Yeah. All right. So, all right. Submit, submit. No shit. That's the best I think you've ever rolled on that. Yeah. That's a 12.

[00:28:44] So, on a 10 plus, hold two. Uh, so I've got a two hold to be kind of prepared for whatever happens. Uh, going for, uh, yeah. So if you need me to post it, I can put the move out there too. Uh, please, just so I can take a look at it. Yeah. Um, hold, spend one to one. Okay.

[00:29:09] So you basically just have like, like you, uh, it's basically just to give you like a, um, like you're prepared for the situation kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Um, yeah. Okay. The, anybody want to look inside the main, like you guys can like sneak up and like look at the main window. Um, or I don't even want to, or even just knock on the door. Yeah. Yeah. Already having enough stairs. Like finding the trellis.

[00:29:37] There, there's a, there's strange, there is a tree right next to the, next to that bedroom window. Yep. Um, I'm heading up. I just kind of started up like, okay, who's on team purify and who is on team talk some sense into Chuck. Uh, Johnny, you got Chuck. I got Chuck. All right. Um, I'll support Chuck. I'll go up with, uh, I'll go up with Siegel. Yeah. I'm also heading up. Uh, all right.

[00:30:05] I'll be sitting on the porch, uh, clean on the RPG. Jumping on Apple. He might be good. Fraunch. Yeah. All right. Um, Hey Johnny, do you hear some people in the background talking about a shit golem? This is weird. Uh, let's hope not. They're lamenting, uh, laminating a flame. Yeah. So shut up. Look, I see their shit golem and raise them a shit shot. Okay.

[00:30:34] God. Sorry. I said more. Yeah. Look all out of like the, uh, 20, 23. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The, oh man. 20. Yeah. It's two years in a good. Anyway, if you want to hear limitations of the flame pinch, that's why we play monster of the week. Listen to the, to the first episode of this game. Was it monster of the week? Wasn't it nice black agents?

[00:31:02] No, no, that one was, that was monster of the week still. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. You're right. You're right. Yeah. Um, yeah. All right. So, yeah. So let's go with, uh, I guess we'll do, um, uh, uh, we'll go, we'll go. We'll start with, let's start with, uh, let's start with, uh, Chuck. Uh, so who, yeah. So team Chuck, um, yeah. Are you, how are you guys approaching? How are you, are you just like knocking on the door or something like that? Or are you guys like sneaking in? Uh, yeah, we'll knock on the door. All right.

[00:31:32] Uh, yeah. You guys hear like a mullet. Like, oh God. All right. Hang on. Hang on. Who the hell's calling this hour or who the hell's coming to the door to this hour? And then, uh, you see kind of, uh, uh, like the door opens up and you see kind of a, uh, slightly like, um, tipsy or like, uh, like kind of haggard Chuck, uh, kind of surprised, like boys. How's what, what, what are you doing here? Before anyone says anything, I just look over from the chair.

[00:32:02] I'm sitting out on the porch and say, Helsinki and go back to cleaning the RPG. What, what, what? He like. Well, you see Chuck, I clap my hand on his shoulder. Are you like, are you walking in or are you like pulling? Oh, I'm walking in and I'm directing him around. Let's, let's have a seat. You do, you, you guys can hear the sound of a hockey game playing in the, in the, in the, uh, in the living room. Ah, already converted, huh?

[00:32:30] And you see a bunch of, uh, a bunch of, um, uh, Molson Canadian and, uh, and, uh, and, and other beers, uh, around. Chuck, Chuck, you got a problem. What? No, it's not enjoying the game. What? No. He's like looking at the, the, the, the cans. You have a Nella problem. Oh, don't, don't I know it.

[00:32:58] Uh, oh, you don't have any idea as to the extent of this problem, Chuck. I don't know why you're here, but like, yeah, she's been a bit of a, a handful, uh, like she did not care for, for leap for up and leaving, uh, sporks. Uh, and, uh, actually we just got seven different monsters. What? We just, we just got here. Yeah. Well, this is, I'm talking about from the future.

[00:33:30] Um, uh, like roll fan. It's not the real Chuck. Um, what, what do you, what, what do you mean? What? Like what? You get a better, get a better handle on this. Mike. Firstly. Maybe sit down here and getting, gee, what's that?

[00:33:58] Uh, eight beers. That's getting a shit face, Chuck. It's not great. What, what, what do you, what do you expect? Like, like having the, like, I had to like relocate and, uh, can't really find much work here out here. And, uh, like, like the different law enforcement situations and, and, uh, well, we're just supposed to wait, like hide, wait out here and hiding from, uh, from, from sparkly, like fairy creatures or something.

[00:34:30] Whatever those things were that, that, uh, Nell was, it was mixed up with vampires. They were vampires who were afraid of apples. No, you're not supposed to hide. He finishes adult. He finishes his beer. Wow. Act like an adult, Chuck. You're an adult human being. You're like 45 years old. She's 18. She's taking this better than you are.

[00:34:59] Really? She's externalizing it. Now, does she make a huge ass mess? Absolutely. She does. Uh, but does, uh, did you help with that at all? No, you reacted in the worst possible way. Every time. Chuck, I don't think this chapter was in that. What to expect when you're expecting book, they give you when you're going to have a gun. I mean, I've never read it, but.

[00:35:29] I'm pretty sure dating your daughter will dates monsters is not what to expect. So, like, yeah. What's this all about? Like, the future? And, like, she's going to date monsters? Like, what? Like, I. So, I sit him down and explain everything. And then explain all the dumb bullshit we had to do to rescue her a second time. And that we're in the middle of that. We're coming to the end of that dumb bullshit right now. Okay. Okay. This scene, like, it starts like that. Like, you just start doing that.

[00:35:57] And it just, like, kind of, like, scrolls away. Like, kind of, like, the camera goes past the hallway, like, watching you, like, talk to him about this. And then fades to black and then cuts back to where the other gang is. And then, like, we're going to go to the next time. We're going to go to the next time. We're going to go to the next time. So, you guys are climbing up the tree to get up to Nella's bedroom window? Was that the plan for some of you? I just want to hop it. It's like TV. Yeah, you can hop it. Yeah. Actually, I followed them in through the front door. I'm just going up the stairs.

[00:36:27] Okay. That's fine. Yeah. He's blowing his mind at this point. Breaking them down. How about a come-to-Jesus moment? Yeah, exactly. In my mind's eye, the camera backs out through the window, moves past Marvin, still cleaning his weapons. Yeah.

[00:36:54] And just goes over and slides up the trellis and back in through Nella's window in one clean shot. Yeah. Yeah, no, absolutely. And that's where you guys can hear and see, like, through the window or, like, from the door. To Nella's bedroom, you can hear. She does appear to be talking to somebody. And if you're looking through the window, you can see that she's on her laptop. This big, bulky laptop. And it appears that she's talking to somebody over Skype.

[00:37:24] 2007, I think, is when this started. Window is open and I am in. That's why they're ICQ or AIM. Yeah. Like, ah! Who's Uncle? Uncle Segal? It's like... I just walk in and I close the... I just close the laptop top. You're that guy that was... What's going on? And you can hear Vex, like... Like, from, like, the Skype call. I just slowly... I'm just like, oh, hold on.

[00:37:55] We're going to put you on hold. And then I just, like, slowly start breaking the laptop. Nice. What's going on? What's going on? I'm like, who... Hi, Nella. Why are you guys here? Yeah. I'm going to enter through her bedroom door. And then pour it behind me. I'm here to tell you about the horrible dangers of dragon syphilis. Have you ever thought about joining a convent, Nella?

[00:38:24] It would probably be the safer option, because I think that, given a little bit of time, a little bit of work, could make a fairly good battle not out of you. But, for now, I am here to give you the talk. To explain the dangers of unprotected dating. And when I say unprotected dating, and I'm just going to bring out the flowchart and just... But these are some of the things that you have dated in the not-too-distant.

[00:38:51] And that's why we have been able to mess with time to come back here to talk to you. You guys... You see... You had names on that diagram, right? Yes. Oh, yeah. And, yeah, she looks at one of them and it's like... I think that's Vex's friend. Like, what? Who? He's a... He's a... Oh, no. He's a snake pyre? What? Yeah, you... That was the highlight of it. I thought you were going to learn your lesson the first time.

[00:39:20] And I'm just going to toss her an apple instead of... Why aren't you eating your apples? I told you the last time. You are never done with this. No, you just keep making the same mistakes over and over again. You do. You just keep making the same mistakes. So that's why we're stopping you from making those mistakes. Why aren't you eating the apple? She, like, takes it and, like, takes a bite. Crunch.

[00:39:50] I'm going to... She's just, like, sits on her... She's just sitting on her bed, like, like, dumb. Like, she's, like, doesn't know how to respond. Yeah. I'm going to sit on the edge of her bed, like, on the corner. Nala, you don't know me. You will know me in the future, but you don't know me right now. And I know that this is really overwhelming. All of your uncles coming in at once and telling you that you're going to make a lot of bad decisions.

[00:40:15] And I know that you just fought with your dad, probably about being a teenager and making bad decisions. And... And boosh. Yeah, he, like, dragged us out to this place and, like, to where I don't have any friends. Or, like, I had to start completely fresh. And, like, I finally met, like, somebody who seems really nice. And then... And my dad's, like, concerned. But, like, fuck him. Like, he's the one that dragged me out here and I had to restart.

[00:40:45] So... No, technically you're the reason that they... You got drug out here. Nala? Nala? Like, you fucking around with a bunch of snake pyres did not help that situation. He did not want to leave. I didn't know they were snake pyres. How was I supposed to know they were snake pyres? I didn't... Up until the sporks bullshit, I didn't know snake pyres are a thing. Did you not notice that he sporks a little sonny? And I suppose you're going to tell me that... I suppose you're going to tell me that silkies aren't real either, aren't you? Uncle Seagull. She, like...

[00:41:15] She, like... She, like, looks at you, like, sympathetic. It's like, oh... Like... You're just going to tell me where wolves don't exist. Nala... The person that you think is your friend that's going to drag you out of this loneliness and this...

[00:41:42] This hit that you feel is not your friend. He wants something from you. And his friends aren't all bad people. Not all those people that you dated are bad people. You do have a little bit of common sense. But... But... That guy... Is not your friend. And he wants to sell your misery... To get off. Like a little creep. Vex is a fucking creep, Nala.

[00:42:12] And I'm telling you right now... If you don't start vetting some of these people... Through the... Through your family. Through these people that love you and do this professionally... You are going to be hurt for your entire life. And not only are you going to be hurt... You are going to hurt the people that love you. That sincerely care for you. You don't know me at all. You have never met me before. And you have hurt me in an incredibly deep way. I have lost my friends.

[00:42:42] My best friends. I have lost 10 years of my life. Trying to correct these wrongs that are going to happen in the future. And save you. For me. And for your family. And for your dad. Listen to what we are saying to you. And I'd like to manipulate a person. Sure. Go for it. I can resist on that. Hey, baby!

[00:43:12] That is... Not only is that advanced... Damn. I have... Kick some ass... Or not kick some ass. I have manipulate someone advanced. On a 12 plus... Not only do they do what you want right now. They also become your ally for the rest of the mystery. Or until you do enough for them. Permanently. Damn! Listen to me, baby! Listen to me! Yeah, she kind of like puts the apple down on the bed. Like the half-eaten apple on the bed.

[00:43:42] Puts her laptop back up. No, laptop's... Hang on. Hang on. Yeah, that's crushed. Oh, it's crushed? Okay, never mind. Oh, I said I closed it and then broke it. Okay. She's like, okay, I guess when I get a new computer, I can block Vex. Yeah, do that for sure on everything. We're going to take care of Vex. I just... Now on... On the second date...

[00:44:10] You'll get a background check from one of your uncles. Uncle Johnny or Uncle Dave. One of the two. You hear me? Oh, Johnny and Uncle Dave are here? Oh, yeah. They're talking to your dad right now. And he's not going to enjoy that conversation. Okay. Yeah, you can let her know that like she's not the only one at fault. And they're giving the business to her dad too. Yeah.

[00:44:38] Yeah, so we cut away from that to the porch. Where we're... Not Brownie. Where Marvin is polishing off his bazooka. Hello, adventurer. Yes, I'm out here. Just eating and you're out. You've got a string of garlic around your neck. Um... Uh... And, uh... You hear... Like you're looking around and like there's a... I'm going to say there's like... There's like a... It rained recently and there's some like...

[00:45:08] There's like a puddle nearby. And you hear like a... Boom. And you see like the rippling in the puddle with each reverberation. Uh... And, uh... You look over and like some birds like fly out of some like... Out of some of the... Off away from the tree line. Uh... And then... From the tree line rips open a very pissed off and angry and panicked Vex. It's like... What... What are you doing?

[00:45:37] Do I catch his scent for Vex? My meal ticket! Do I catch his scent for Vex since he walks out? Hmm? Sorry? Do I catch his scent since... Oh yeah, no, it comes in like wafting like the smell of sulfur and such. I just look at Nella, I go, hold on, I gotta go kick the shit out of your demon friend. And I jump out the window. Still calmly sitting on the... In the chair on the porch. Just plot the last RPG that I have into the launcher. Nice.

[00:46:05] I'm just going to carefully put St. Ignatius together and lean out the window. And just start blessing the bullet. And just look over. Just, Juliet, keep talking, keep talking. You got this. Nella, can we... Let's move to a more internal room of the house. Do you want to show me some yearbook photos? Tell me what you've been getting up to here lately. What's Canada like? I'm American. And she's going to take her hand and she's going to lead her out of the fucking bedroom.

[00:46:35] We're going to a different room of this house. Yeah, you bring her to one of the guest rooms or something like that that's a little bit more interior. Is there a basement? Yeah, there's a basement, yeah. There's a root cellar. It's like, yeah, this place has like... This doesn't have like a... It's not a finished basement, but it's got like kind of like a... Kind of an earthen root cellar kind of space. Canada's so interesting. You know, this is actually my first time in Canada. Like, I mean, we've only been here for like a couple of weeks. Maybe a few months.

[00:47:04] It's been kind of hard. Like, again, like I had to... We moved out so quickly and then we're like plopped here and I've had to like try and... I was trying to make new friends, but I guess that... I fucked that up. I don't think you fucked that up. I think that Vex is a dickhead and he sensed that you were in a period of adjustment in your life. And he decided to prey upon that because he's quite literally a demon and a lot older than you.

[00:47:33] And that's not fair. I was like, okay, okay. It's just like she's just like confused, but like absorbing all this information. Do you want to see something cool, Nella? Sure, yeah. I'm going to forewarn you. It might be a little sudden. I have a ghost friend. Camille, do you want to say hi to Nella? Yeah. Like mitosis, you two split.

[00:48:02] Or she just like phases from you. And Nella is just like mouth agape, just like silence. Like no words. You want to know what's crazy? I'm a ghost hunter. And now my best friend's a ghost. This is totally not traumatizing for her in a totally different way. No, not at all. Is it a distraction? Yeah. Camille puts her hand up like for like a fist bump kind of thing. Like to you.

[00:48:32] To you. We fist bump, we phase through. Yeah. Yeah. And there's like that like, like, like, like would make contact. Like, like she like puts her hand at like, like, like, like, like, like, uh, la la la la. Like that kind of motion, that kind of motion. Yeah. Um, yeah. So there, she's just like smugly.

[00:48:58] Like, like, kind of like, again, like this whole situation is also like, like, she's got some, some vetted interest in this. So she's. Yeah. So she's. Taking this, like taking this with, uh, with a, uh, with some smugness about it. Um, so meanwhile, outside on the, on the farm. I just want to walk past the door and like. I want to, I want to like smack the door and be like demon time. Oh. Okay. What? Says, says Chuck is like, what, what's going on? Chuck, just drink two more beers.

[00:49:28] Yeah. That's about as long as it'll take. Yeah. He goes to stand up. You guys like just drink more. He just like plops back into the chair. Yeah. As vet fellows know my meal ticket. Yeah. Cafeteria is closed. Nice. Oh. But I only roll a seven on my, uh, on my RPG fire. So it, it, it lands. You can burn a luck if you want to. Yeah. I did just burn a luck. Yeah. It's a full, full success. Good point. There you go. Yeah. Nice. Yeah.

[00:49:59] Center mass or right, right through the chest. Um, there's a massive explosion. Um, and then. Right in the dino nugget. Yeah. And then. God. Yeah. No. Yeah. Not, not chest. The groin area. There you go. And, and right from, right from the explosion, uh, it's as if the explosion is also burning away, uh, reality, uh, as the, uh, the white void is consuming everything directly from the, uh, the explosion center.

[00:50:28] Um, and then. Uh, the screen, everything goes white for everybody. Um, Nella, Chuck, they all vanish. Uh, and then things fade to black and, uh, some credits start rolling in your deal division. Like, uh, basically like, uh, like Nella as herself. Like a lot of, a lot of us. God, this is really disorienting. Fuck. Yeah.

[00:50:55] Uh, and then, and like, as it's finishing up, because you guys can't escape this like frigging void. Um, there's, uh, uh, they're a supermassive black hole starts playing. You know, at least they have taste. Um, and, uh, the, the final thing is, um, uh, a specific like yellow sign, uh, like kind of scrolls down and, uh, and kind of stops in front of you guys. Wanted to scroll up like the, uh, like the MGM logo, but it's just the yellow sign. Sorry. That's, yeah, that's what it was. Yeah. I meant like scrolling up. Yeah.

[00:51:26] Um, and then, um, uh, you guys find yourselves, um, back in, uh, back in the Lamina. Um, it is not the nice Lamina that you guys were in. It is an old derelict theater. Uh, and there is no sign of text, the Texarkane brothers. I gotta say for like cosmic vampires or whatever, they were pretty straightforward.

[00:51:56] It smells like black mold in here. Oh yeah. It's not. It does not smell like a, it does not smell like the, uh, pristine, like popcorn. Yeah. No, it smells awful. Yeah. Does something die in here? Should we light this thing on fire on our way out? Does sound like us. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So yeah, you guys are, I assume you, as you're walking back out into the street with, uh,

[00:52:25] with fire burning behind you, uh, the place will soon be involved. Yeah. Did I take my drone back out before we? You guys put it in the Faraday cage. Oh, okay. Um, I, I, I want to pop that open. I want to see if my, if my drone is still, uh, yeah. Like golden filigree kind of thing. Yes. Yeah. It still is. Interesting. I'm going to put it back in the Faraday cage and I'm going to shut the fucking drunk. All right.

[00:52:56] Do you want to leave that here or do you want to take it with us? That little drone's been the little drone that could, but it's been touched by a thing that may or may not be. I think that drone should get a, uh, burial with honors. I agree. That's what it ought to have happen. Mm-hmm. We'd give it a Viking funeral. Uh, or put it in, uh, seven boxes made of seven different materials, seven feet deep. You know, something like that.

[00:53:24] Could always just waste another, uh, radioactive round on it. Uh, Nella. Oh, but it's a drone. Or not Nella. I'm sorry. It's Juliet. It's like, no guys, it's my drone. Oh, no. The twist we never saw coming. I stole that from my campus. Oh, I, I don't care. I owe a lot of money. I, can I just return it to my college? Yeah, for sure.

[00:53:51] Like one of us just pulls out a whole bankroll and we're like, how much was it? A bankroll? Like God's Eye or something like that, uh, but in like a campus, uh, environment. Oh, shoot. Yeah, you know what you're going to do? You're going to fucking let somebody make a movie out of The King in Yellow with you to return that to your college campus. But I'm not going to make it. That's somebody else's problem. I want to stop doing this. I don't, I- Juliet. You owe these people.

[00:54:21] I want to, but I, I don't want to owe like 12 grand. I'm really even dead. I'm pretty sure that, uh, Siegel can do that with the, the Vatican slush funds. He can give you some money. It's fine. We'll make something work. I'm a theater major. I'm never going to repay my debts. Ever. Uh, listen, listen, kid. You're, you're doing black bag shit now. Money is not a problem.

[00:54:50] You're in the life now. Yeah, you're in the life. Welcome, welcome to the life. So after we're done with this, I'm not, I'm not done with this. No, you just have a new set of skills. I mean, you could go back to just simple ghost hunting and trying to take pictures of the ghosts. Or you could join us and actually make a little bit of money inside. Let's be fair.

[00:55:20] Most of it is scary, but not secretive. I feel like I've almost died, like, a lot. I mean, look, you don't have to stick with, with us. Like, if you want to get out, that makes complete sense. No one will, no one will have a problem with that. But, uh, we'll take care of this drone problem. Like, we'll, we'll pay off your drone costs. Like, 12 grand is not that big a deal.

[00:55:50] Okay. When you used to work for a major, you know, major Earth government, aka the United States of America. Can I have my... To make some calls. No, never mind. She was gonna pull out her SD card. Yeah, again, I wouldn't keep that either. That would be worse. You do pop it out, it looks perfectly normal. I'm gonna pop it back in. It's okay. Okay. The footage that I...

[00:56:18] The footage that I did get with the drone is backed up onto a, onto a computer, onto her laptop or something. Mm-hmm. I mean, that would make sense. Mm-hmm. Looking through her... She's gonna go defeatedly sit in the passenger seat of, of Gio's car. Just Keanu Reeves is like, ugh. Like, sitting. She's got, she's got the actual keys. Like, she's been driving that car. Oh, yeah. Just leaves us here. Isn't he on a motorcycle? Yeah, I stole a motorcycle from a ghoul. Yeah.

[00:56:48] Yeah, she's... She's still in the passenger seat. She's just re-evaluating life. So we're ready to roll out. I mean, I'm not gonna ride this motorcycle all the way back to Canada, so... I gotta say, like, as you're sitting in the passenger seat, Camille does kind of, like, shift over to, like, the driver's side for a moment. I mean, she can't drive, but she just, like, kind of looks at you kind of, like, sympathetically and, like, tries to put a hand on your shoulder. Just, like... Like, I get it. I really hope that I get my youth back.

[00:57:18] But Professor Nelson is gonna be so fucking mad at me, dude. When... I'm not gonna finish my final. And I lost the fucking drone that I stole. I haven't submitted an assignment in, like, a month and a half. Okay, so you're... Camille, I'm gonna fucking fail! You're having this, like, moment of, like, crisis and stress. And, like, you look over... And Camille had been very, like, sympathetic and stuff. And then she's just kind of, like, staring at you, like, really? She's dead.

[00:57:51] Like, she, like... Again, because at this point, I don't think she can speak when she's in this form. Like, when necessarily in this... Yeah, in this form. But she just kind of, like, stares at you, like, dead. Like, just, like, really? And then just, like, does the hand motions, like, at herself. It's, like, as if to pantomime. I'm fucking dead. I'm not gonna say it is Juliette, but Juliette did tell him to leave town. That's all I've gotta say. They tried, to be fair. Yeah, they did try.

[00:58:20] They got lost in the liminal county that is Maple Moose. We should have used MapQuest. That's not my bad. We do need to stop by the commune and see how your other two friends are doing, though. Oh, God. Well, maybe... Yeah. I just kind of poked my head over to the side of the passenger seat, and I'm like, what's your professor's name? Mel's in. Don't worry. And I, like, cracked my knuckles. Like, don't worry about it. Don't worry. We'll deal with him. No! No! No!

[00:58:50] He's really old. I don't think he'll survive that. Please don't. We're not gonna... Nobody's gonna hurt him. We're just gonna be like, hey, listen. Y'all are just surrounding this car. She removed herself to end the conversation. Yeah. And the conversation is now boxing her in. Yeah, exactly. She's had a family emergency, and we're gonna ask for an extension. Politely. Crack's knuckle.

[00:59:22] So, yeah. Yeah. I guess, are you guys, from this, are you driving back up to Canada? What are we? I want to arrange passage for the motorcycle to be hauled back to the commune, because I ain't riding that thing all the way back. Yeah. Yeah, that can easily be arranged. Like, the commune thing. Matter of fact, you haven't felt your butt cheeks in a hot minute. Yeah, no. If it wasn't for my regeneration, I wouldn't be walking right now. There's, like, a moment you get off and you just, like, kind of, like, wide, like, walk, spreading, and then suddenly just, like, your bones, you start hearing bones crackle

[00:59:52] and do your body rearranges. My ass is just completely flat, and then it pops back out. Yeah, exactly. Like a cartoon. Oh, God. Boing. Yeah. I tried to do a pop set, it did not come through. I just, I just look at Juliet, and I'm like, are you driving or am I? I don't really want to drive right now. Okay. Are we going to stop, are we going straight back to Canada, or do you want to stop by the commune on the way?

[01:00:20] I'm not going back to Canada after we handle this business. I'll hit him back up after. After. What's the fucking plan? Are we, are we going back to Vex's? Are we, are we killing that guy? I'd like to kill that guy. Are we going to, to Nella? Vex first. I mean, I think we should kill him, right? Yeah.

[01:00:48] We got, we got to get your, your, your years back. But like. Do, do, uh, Marvin and, uh, uh, and, uh, Seagull want to, uh, show, reveal their, their, what they, what they have? A new car. Oh yes, as a matter of fact, we've got two things. We've got this lovely, lovely sacred dynamite. Oh. And then we've got this lovely lodestone. That we can use to find him wherever he hides. There's the lodestone, but there is the other thing that you guys have. Yes.

[01:01:18] Yes. Please remind me, God. What is that? Yes. Uh, well, you guys did acquire a, uh, um, a, like an ancient, uh, not sure quite, maybe not human, but an ancient, uh, sacred, uh, uh, jar like relic that was used to contain a demon. Can we do? Oh, we got a, we got a ghost trap. Nice. Uh, from a, from a, from, from, yeah, it was when you guys were, uh, like acquiring the, the fire truck. When we visited Aurelia. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:01:47] So what's the, uh, the range on a, on a summoning spell? Can we just drag his ass somewhere and beat the shit out of him here? So we're not on his turf. Does he have to have a passport to, to drive him across? Summoning does sound like get over here. Yeah. All we have to do is cast it and it will pull him here. As long as we've got a piece of it or something that is solidly tied to him.

[01:02:16] And I'm pretty sure we have both of those things. Cause we got the lodestone that has, uh, I will say it is at this point who has a, who has a, uh, a, um, I guess any of you guys have cell phones, right? Yeah. A flip phone, but yeah. I'm going to say, um, dad, you get a call from, from Chuck's phone number. This is what I was going to do.

[01:02:43] That's what I was going to ask if she's unshagothed. Yeah. Yeah. You get a call from Chuck, from Chuck. Um, and, uh, I assume you, you pick it up. Yeah. Uh, it is not Chuck on the line. It is a very panicked sounding Nella. I was like, dad, uncle, uh, uncle dad. Are you there? Are you, please say you're there. I'm like, oh my God. Oh my God. Uncle dad. David Allen.

[01:03:13] Uncle David. Uncle dad. Uncle grandpa. Uh, yeah, I was here. So, you know, my guest, what's up? Um, I don't know. I just kind of came to, um, the, the, the farmhouse is, is, is all, is all wrecked. There's all this like weird ichor. Like there's weird, there's weird blacks. Uh, sorry. She would not say ichor. Uh, there's all this like weird black slime everywhere. And, um, and, uh, uh, I found my dad's, uh, I found my dad's phone, um, uh, out on the

[01:03:43] driveway and, uh, uh, that friend or his, uh, his, uh, his, uh, his, his, his lady friend from the commune, um, is, is beaten up pretty bad. Um, and there's, there's a bunch of like, it looks like, like, like, like T-Rex footprints, like the Jurassic Park. Um, and, uh, there's a huge scorch mark, uh, message in the, um, uh, in the, in the field in front of the house. Uh, it says, uh, it says, um, uh, uh, one way or another, I'm getting the angst and then

[01:04:12] dot, dot, dot, dead parents. No. Oh. Um, can, can, can, can, can you, what's going on? Like, I was, I don't know what's been going on. I have no idea. Like I have all these jumbled of things that I'm just like, I, I'm just, I'm so scared. Honey. No. Oh, and in the time that it took us to get all that done for some reason, someone from the commune had visited Chuck. What the fuck?

[01:04:37] Um, so, so actually, uh, her, you'd con, I think, I think either you'd contacted or, um, maybe I'll just say that like the, um, uh, his, his, his kind of romantic interest in the commune, uh, I think like the old, the older, like the older, uh, character, uh, the one of the elders, uh, had actually come over to like help like Chuck deal with like the Shoggoth. So they know, or deal with like keeping the Shoggoth contained. I think I'm just going to, uh, if that, if that wasn't mentioned, I'm going to say that's, that was happening in the background.

[01:05:07] Okay. So I'm sure there was things going on. Shoggoth is a lot for a, for a single dad. For one dude. For a single dad. Who's, who's a complete, like the mundane. Single dad who works too hard. Who loves his Shoggoth and never stops. So now the, uh, now the, uh, Wilhelmina from the commune looks like Reba Magintyre. Yeah. Reba, don't sue us. Oh my God. Please. But, but please sponsor us.

[01:05:37] Yeah. No sue. In my head cannon has her name Joleen now. Oh. Joleen. I, no. And I do have to say, um, podcast, no disassemble. Crumble. Uh, but yeah, so that's, that's what you guys get from, uh, like Nella. Like she's like freaking out. And, uh, apparently her, apparently Vex has, uh, taken her, uh, taken, uh, Nella's, Nella's dad after the, the ritual crumble after the curse crumbled away.

[01:06:06] Hey, Nella, honey, this is, uh, this is a long story. We'll get it all straightened out. But you remember a time when you were a kid and, uh, you were, I was visiting Chuck and then you, you got upset cause your cat was up in that tree and I said I'd get it down. I got it down, didn't I? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I shot the branch out of the tree and like you and your dad were a little pissed, but it came down. Now you have to make a manipulate roll. Oh, fuck.

[01:06:34] Things are going well until you're like, oh, I didn't shoot the branch. I was like, oh, that's filling Nella with confidence. All right. Hold on. Let me go. Oops. Uh, that is a charm, right? Yeah. Oh yeah. I mean, I got that at zero, so I'm good. It's going to go well. Also, while this conversation is taking place in the background, I am already spray painting the summoning circle on the ground and just handing Giovanni the other cans or, or handing

[01:07:00] Johnny the other cans going, okay, so, um, we need to draw this sigil here and this one. Can you, would you mind? All right. So does that mean we need to summon Chuck as well? Uh, actually, here's the thing. I, we did do a, I did do that row at the beginning of the session, the one with the plan. Uh, maybe when all this began, I'm trying to think of like, maybe I could have gave Chuck

[01:07:26] something or cause I, I'm trying to imply that I knew that this was a possibility from the very beginning. Yeah. Yeah. You, you weren't sure if the ritual was going to like stop everything, like revert everything or so like you really had some contingencies of like, oh, like in case Vex targets Chuck or something like that. Like if he gets wins of what's going on. Yeah. Also, with, with that nine for your, um, your charm role, I'm going to say that like Nella

[01:07:53] is, is somewhat placated, but she's like, uh, okay. Okay. Uh, uh, uncle David, um, uh, it just like, make sure, make sure my dad's okay. Please. Like, like, I, I hate, I hate what he, like, he, he dragged me out here, but like, uh, I, I'm, I don't want him. I don't want him to go. She's like that. I understand, honey. And you know, you guys are going to be right as rain before too long.

[01:08:22] We'll get this all squared away. I got the rest of the boys with me and it's, it's lady named Juliet. She's pretty nice. She's got a ghost girlfriend who wasn't a ghost when we started, but it was just, it's, it's a long story and all that. Maybe we can get her body too. I don't know. Oh, sounds kind of familiar. Like she's like almost like, like she's like recognized Juliet's name. Um, oh yeah, we've been doing time travel and shit like that. It's like at, it's like at Nellie, Nellie Mandela effect. It's like, it's what's happening to you. What?

[01:08:52] Click. Sorry, not to, not to cut you off for that, but. No, it's fine. I'll rattle until you tell me to shut up. Nellie Mandela. I just like, you heard, it's like, what? And then you just like, you hang up. All right. So yeah, you guys are, uh, are planning to summon, try and summon, uh, uh, Vex. So we got to figure out what we got to do. Like we either got to summon Vex and Chuck.

[01:09:21] So we, he doesn't get stuck in some weird pocket dimension that Vex is in. All right. So can I make that row? On sharp. So, you know, I planted something on Chuck. It's kind of a foci point. I guess you could say to where Vex is, maybe we can, we were talking about wanting to have the home court advantage. So, uh, let's set some stuff up, Chris.

[01:09:48] And, um, we'll send him, you know, bring him to us. Yeah. Do you guys want to have it? Like, do you want to just like set this ritual up in the middle of the street in front of the now burning, uh, Lamina? Or do you want to have this set up somewhere, um, a little bit like that'll like give you more advantage, like say like sacred ground. Sacred ground. Like a, like a, like a mausoleum on an old, yeah. Sacred ground definitely fits. Perhaps away from the burning building that is going to have attractive fire, firefighters. Yeah. Oh yeah. Away from this one.

[01:10:18] Um, is there a church nearby? Not one of these mega churches? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Actually, yes. Mega church. Where is, is one of those Joel Osteen prosperity gospel churches nearby? I think that would empower him. Let's not do that one. Yeah. Yeah. That's not going to be an hour. It's just going to be a perfect spot for us to fight. I just want to commandeer that church. Oh, okay. You just want a fighting location. I was thinking like additional benefits for the team.

[01:10:51] You've summoned me to a buffet. Ah, yes. All the angst. But no, um, yeah, you can find all the angst and the soft serve. It's Texarkana. Yeah. Like, or, uh, and in Texas, like you can find a church. Mm-hmm. I assume. Church with myth ground, sacred ground. Yeah. Oh, one with sacred ground. That's another story. No, okay. Again, this is tech. No. Um, don't, don't, don't, don't sue me, Texas.

[01:11:21] Don't at me, Texarkana. Yeah. Yeah. Don't at me, please. The list is growing. The sacred credit card criminal. Reba, Texarkana. Yeah. It's hitting all the greatest hits today. Yeah. I try, I try to visit Texas. It's like, oh, uh, Mr. Uh, Mr. Grazon. Uh, oh, hmm. See that you, uh, 2025, 2026, you, uh, made a podcast apparently. And, uh, talk shit about Texas. Uh, we don't take kindly to your folk here. Yeah. Canadian. Just how sorry are you? Yeah.

[01:11:53] Dance for me, Canadian monkey. Yeah. Yeah. You're able, you're able to find a church, um, that, uh, is suitable to your needs. Um, or should I make that a role? I don't know. What do you guys think? I mean, there should be a church. There's gotta be a church around here. Yeah. It's Texas. There's a phone book. I literally just Googled Texarkana churches. Uh, and like, I, like I can see at least three dozen. Yeah. Phone books still exist in 2007. Yeah.

[01:12:25] All right. So yeah. Uh, what, what, what's the church called? Like I'm, I'm throwing that to you guys. Like what, it can be fictional. I don't care. It's her, his holy feet worshiping of the, uh, cathedral of St. Sabina. All right. What was your, uh, your pedicure place going to be called there, Adam? Yeah. His holy feet worshiping and, uh, something I was trying, I was rattling off. Like, I just want to give us options. That's all. I appreciate it, sir.

[01:12:55] I lost it. It was a, it was a, you know, fly ball. All right. So yeah, you guys, uh, yeah, you guys go to the cathedral of St. Sabina. Sorry, Adam. Yeah. That's fine. There's more Catholics in the North and the South, but okay. Um, and, uh, yeah, you guys are, I guess, I guess, um, uh, yeah. Uh, Siegel, uh, why don't you go ahead and, uh, and, uh, manipulate the, uh, the, the, I guess the local, like the father or the padre.

[01:13:22] Um, it's not going to be so kind as to roll weird for me. Certainly. That's a 10 full success. Yeah. No, you just let you, you give you, you show your, your Vatican card. His kicks in the door of Vatican business. Get out. I'm going to need at least three of your.

[01:13:43] I need your church, your motorcycle, your pews and your rectory. I need to cross your vestments and your motorcycle. Yeah. Yeah. You guys start like, I guess, moving the pews to the sides as, as, as, as, uh, the father like, uh, gets, uh, like leads his flock out of the, like who's, who's in the, uh, who's

[01:14:12] in the church, like, um, receiving service, like just they, they, uh, they're, they're requested out. I was like, Oh, we've got some, we've got some Vatican business. I was like, I'm holding open the door. Many blessings. Thank you. Be blessed. Be safe. Have a good day. Get out. You hear an older woman, like, uh, as she passes by, it's like, you know, Harold, I think I saw, I think I saw the Holy ghost over that young lady.

[01:14:40] You see, you see, like, Camille's just like, like slowly peeking out from behind you. Like goddamn cataracts. We're getting the surgery. Just got to get my glasses checked. All right. So boys, before y'all get set up, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go down there to Harbor Freight. I'm gonna pick up a, pick up a motor and we're going to put like a pump in this, this baptistry and we're going to set up a super soaker kind of thing like that.

[01:15:07] So when we summon OT Rex, we're going to hose him down real good. We've got a plot relevant amount of holy water. But this is straight from the vein. What was this? This was straight from an angel. Yeah. Literally blessed. Like, like directly blessed. I mean, my parents are blessed. Adam, it makes you, sorry, dad, it makes you feel a little funny. Is that Andre the angel? Is that where we got it from? Yeah. One.

[01:15:40] Oh my God. That's such a good, that was such a good impression. You boy with a peanut. Just do a slow deep French. All right. So yeah, you guys get to work. It takes about, it takes a little bit of time. Like you guys are, are rushing. Cause again, like, uh, Vex has, uh, has Chuck.

[01:16:08] We're probably just slowly doing it and be like, he probably deserves it for a minute. Let's let him, let's let him, let's let him stew a little bit. Yeah. One day versus two weeks. I think we're fine. God. For 13 years. Yeah. 13 years. Um, and yeah, you guys, uh, uh, I guess, uh, this is going to be a big ritual or like, uh, basically you guys doing big magic to, uh, to create this ritual. So what's that in the tail?

[01:16:37] And the, well, do you want me to do the sharp row that I was going to make to modify that big ritual kind of thing? Um, since, uh, I got that hold and all that. Yep. Well, do you have to make a roll since you have your, you're prepared for whatever? Well, it's, uh, it gives them a hold and not, um, so I guess I got, I got two hold actually. Yeah. And I guess a whole just like means you do it right. Or do something. I think it, I think it modifies. It's been a while since we played this.

[01:17:07] I think a whole basically like you want information or you got something or it's kind of a preparedness because that's your one with the plan. Yeah. I'll say that basically like, like the, the holds are basically giving you like, like allowing you to just like hand wave, like, okay, we can get this stuff like really easily. Yeah. And I'm going to Honda motor. I'm not getting any of those other ones or they're shit. You're not getting it from Harbor Freight. Then all you're going to get is predator, which is an appropriate name. Go with the predators there. All right. I'll go with the predator.

[01:17:38] To summon a predator. You hear that clicking noise? Want some candy? Starter's going out. I'll just say a tit soap. This is the skin of a predator. Oh no. And yeah, whoever wants to do the, the, the, like roll the weird to make this work. They can get a plus plus two because of how like, how like prepared you guys are for this. I'm seeing it all just got the best weird.

[01:18:08] I'm going to assume that probably plus three. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you guys are all like participating in the ritual, but like, yeah, we'll have like a singular role for it. Ooh. That's a five. I don't think that's. Oh God. What? What? Indeed. Luck. Luck. Luck. Luck. You want to burn a luck on that one, David? You rolled a five. He's speechless.

[01:18:38] I think you can't believe it. I mean, same. The dice are finally betrayed. Yeah. It took a whole lifetime, but. Yeah. I mean, with the, with a plus three, that would be an eight. Oh. And he just dropped gum. He was so shocked that he just decided to quit. He couldn't take it. No. David. No. He said he wasn't. I'm going to say that. So. Yeah. There he is. David.

[01:19:08] Are you back? Probably my problem. Maybe with, with his plus three. That means that die rolled a two. That rolled a basically the worst it could possibly roll. Oh, literally snake eyes. Just looking at, you know, doing math. Yeah. That's insane. Okay. I will opt to take the points of damage and roll a gate. Do you just want to burn a luck? Yeah. Yeah. That also works. Let's just burn one of my luck. All right. Mark. Got it. Got it. Just fine.

[01:19:38] All right. Yeah. There is, there's, there's a moment where like, you're not sure if it's going to work. Like it's, it's, it's struggling. Um, it's almost as if you're trying to summon in a hellish hell spawn to a divine location or to a sacred location. Yeah. Um, and a few thousand miles away. Yeah, exactly. And long distance and all that. Um, and then in just sort of a, an explosion of like, of, of, uh, of dust and, uh, and sulfur

[01:20:08] and, uh, uh, uh, just humid air, like, like, like a shift in the different air temperatures from where it was and to where you guys are now. Um, there is just this massive, like dust cloud that kind of kicks out from the, from the middle of the circle. Um, and as it dissipates, you see, uh, this large hulking form, um, though a little bit more emaciated than what you've seen of it.

[01:20:32] Um, and it, and then as things like begin to like dissipate even further, you see more detail and you see it's holding someone in its claws, uh, almost like at gunpoint or at claw point. Like he's got like a claw directly at, at Chuck's head and just like looking around like, nobody move or the dad gets it. I'm right here. Yeah.

[01:21:02] I reached into my, uh, um, trench coat, fumble around for a second and an incorrect characteristic look of, uh, Oh, comes across my face. I'm out. You. I should have known. Ah, you really should have. Yeah. Duh. Figured it out. Uh, all I wanted was to feed. That's all I ever want. I want to feed, to feed and to be free. So now you can eat lead.

[01:21:32] I'm going to shoot him in the decap. All right. Go for it. Yeah. Are you just like with, with, with Chuck right there. All right. Can I, at the same time he's about to fire. Can I go make a move for Chuck? Yeah. I guess a roll. Yeah. That, that'd be a probably like cool. Like act under pressure. Like you're, you're rolling to like, like leap in there and grab Chuck before anything happens. So. Okay. Chuck's just like, not, he's just like, like frothing at the mouth. Like he's just like, not sure what the hell's going on.

[01:22:02] Uh, that's a nine, but I feel like this is kind of important. I don't want him to die. So I'm going to burn a look. All right. Uh, yeah. Nobody kills him, but us. Yeah. Johnny's going to give him a tongue lashing that I'm not going to want to miss. Yeah. Uh, I'm going to say, uh, and then, um, yeah, somebody want to roll for, uh, for, um, uh, seagull to fire the, to shoot as well. And those both go off at the same time. So is that weird or cool?

[01:22:29] Uh, I think it'd be tough unless you got something that modifies it. Do you know, David, by chance? I think it's just straight up top. Yeah. Okay. Uh, and if, uh, Oh my God, what the hell? All right. Can I make a move? Uh, Chris? Oh, so hang on. Yeah. Okay. So I'm actually going to say that you, you kneecap, not the, not the demon, but you

[01:22:57] kneecap Chuck and that get, and like, and he, he, he drops down. Um, uh, and like kind of like, or like, or the, like the demons like kind of perplexed by that. It's like, wait, wait, what? Like, cause you shot your friend as far as part of the plan comes together. Yeah. And as that's going on, that's when, uh, when, when, uh, Gio comes like bounding in from the side, uh, tackling, uh, tackling, uh, um, uh, Chuck.

[01:23:26] And it's just enough, like between the distraction there, like that distraction and like the force of the, the tackle is enough, like basically release, uh, Chuck from, uh, from the demon's grip. And, uh, basically he, uh, Chuck and, and Gio just go like tumbling off to the side. With that distraction, what I had gotten. Julia, just a reaction to, uh, you would like a plus one. You can get a one on that. Okay. Then I'm going to take back my luck. Cause that would have been a, that would have been a 10. Yeah. Okay.

[01:23:56] All right. Yeah. I'll say that. Okay. So dad got a cigarette hanging off his lip. You seem to take one hand and kind of hovered it over the, the cherry of the cigarette. And then I'm going to cast hex on the sprinkler system. Cause I'm assuming it's, it's a church. It's a holy water. Yeah. And if it's not, we've set it up to be holy water. Is it the code? I don't know. So we'll see. That would be a nine.

[01:24:24] I don't think I got anything to buff that with, but yeah. So, I mean, it's partial success. Yeah. Yeah. The, for a moment, the, the, the sprinklers look like it's raining red, but that's only because like, they haven't been used in so long that there's rust inside them. So it's just like double damage. Yeah. Yeah. And the creature's like, ah, what is, what is this? And then, and then after a moment it starts burning.

[01:24:54] It's like, ah, ah, what? Wow. Oh, this. It's holy tetanus is what it is. You're raining dirt on me. This is strange. Oh, oh, it hurts. Oh, okay. I got it. Wait. Oh, this sucks. Put it together. All right. So yeah. What's everybody, how, what's everybody else doing with this, against this guy? I'd like to, to fire off a nice little irradiated round. All right. Are you going to go for the need to finish the, to, to finish what, what Siegel tried?

[01:25:25] Or are you going for more lethal or something more lethal? No, I guess I'm also going for his, for his knee. Yeah. I would, I would like my, my youth back. Yeah. Do you say something like along those lines? Like, give me my, I want my years back. No, it's a, that's a seven. Seven. All right. Uh, so I think on the, any, kick some ass there. At, uh, you and Spike Caram on each other. Yeah.

[01:25:56] So as, as you're firing on him. He touches me and I touch him. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's more or less he's, yeah, he's getting, um, like as you, as you're firing upon him, he actually unleashes a torrent of flame up out like in fury from like what's going on. Uh, and those flames lick you a bit. So, um, that's going to be too harm unless you have some armor. Um, I do actually, I, uh, hold on. Where is that?

[01:26:23] Uh, I took in corporeal from Camille. Oh, right. Yeah. Uh, yeah. So I have, uh, three armor. Don't you? That's dope. Nice. You just, yeah, you just, uh, become a ghost for a moment. And yeah, you feel, you feel the energy, the kinetic energy of the flame and like the heat of the flame, like almost like a phantom sensation, but it doesn't actually hurt you or anything like that.

[01:26:52] I, I phase out. I phase back in. God! Kind of getting used to this whole ghost thing. Um, and what was the damage on the, uh, the rounds? Um. We did it as a magnum. So that'd be three harm, close, reload, loud. So three. Okay. Yes. Yep. Uh, and yeah, it goes like, uh, it seems like the holy water hitting, uh, uh, or like,

[01:27:19] uh, afflicting, um, uh, Vex is doing its work. Uh, as, uh, it, that, that, uh, and between that and the irradiated round, uh, that round just blasts through Vex and like into the whole, into, into the wall behind him. So yeah, there's a nice good old side note to take that out before we leave or I'm going to irradiate this. Yeah. Um, all right.

[01:27:46] Who else wants to get a shot in on, on poor Vex as, uh, he's just like letting out a torn. Sorry. That's, that's my GM side to that. Um, also being a little facetious. I'm going to get Chuck to safety. Yeah, that's good. He is underneath it. Another action. He's got, he's only got one good knee. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. He, oh no. He, he's, he used to be a kind of an adventure.

[01:28:17] What, let's review. What wounds does Vex have? Uh, Vex has a large gaping hole in like, like bullet blast, um, in his like shoulder. Um, and that's it. I see his, he's, he's sizzling, but that's basically just like nullifying his armor. Um, the, uh, the, yeah, basically the, the, the rain like down the, the, the holy water is basically just like diminishing his, his, uh, protections. Uh, then I would like to take a, uh, also a magnum shot to the other shoulder.

[01:28:47] Boom. Oh God. Yeah. That's the 16. Holy shit. God damn. Yeah. Does he still have that shoulder? Hang on. Yeah. So like on a 16, like, is that an advanced? Fuck. That's an advanced. Uh, yeah. Do you have advanced kicks of mass? That's my favorite shoulder. It was. Uh, yeah. That's six. It's on the. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:29:16] Uh, kicks mass on a 12 plus you devastate and overall, overall your enemy. You inflict and suffer harm as normal and pick one of these enhanced effects. So you completely hold the advantage. All hunters involved in the fight gain plus one forward. Uh, you suffer no harm at all. Your attack inflicts double the normal harm. Uh, your attack drives enemies away in a route, in a route. Yeah. You pick one of those. Yeah.

[01:29:45] Um, how, how about this? Let me pitch this to you. Um, it's, it's so good that I managed to get off two shots. One to the shoulder. One to the one, one of the knees. Yeah. No. So that's the, the double, the double harm. Yep. One to the shoulder and one of the knee. Uh, so he, he can't get away and everyone has an advantage on him. Maybe. Okay. Yeah. Okay. We can do that. Yep. Okay. Um, you do, you do also take a two harm from the flames as they're, as he's just unleashing torrents across, uh, like some of the pews and some of the, some of the

[01:30:13] surrounding building are also catching fire from the, from it, but. So we got sprinklers on. Sprinkler system. Yeah. It's, it's still hellfire. Hellfire and holy sprinklers. Yeah. It's not a great company. It's like antimatter matter. Listen guys, I think we just got to accept that. Uh, every time you fight something, there's a better than 50% chance you're going to light something on fire. So it's true. Just, just accept that. Yeah. It's going to get burnt.

[01:30:41] What's the, what's the damage on that gun? Who is it? Three. Who is it? A three. Three close. Loud. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, just bang, bang. And just, yeah, she's just like taking shots. He takes a knee, uh, from the, uh, one he still has. Yeah. From both shoulders. As both shoulders are blown out and then are basically like his, his limbs are just kind of dangling as he's just continuing to like rage with, with, uh, the only weapon he really has, uh, for range, which is his fire.

[01:31:09] Um, Ovex, we have a matter to discuss of about 13 years. You'll have to fucking drag me back to hell to get it. Okay. Poorly. I'm on my way back to Ohio. I can take you. No, no, no. He likes to be like gold. Just take him up. Just take him up.

[01:31:40] Yeah. Yeah. Is anybody like bringing out the, uh, the, the special like vessel, the demon vessel? As a matter of fact, yes. I'm going to say, you can either get into Pokeball now. You can get into Pokeball after we beat your ass. Where did you get one of those? He like, looks like actually mortified by that thing. Canada. Shipping baby. All right. All right. All right. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. He like stops breathing fire.

[01:32:10] He's like, all right, hang on. Hang on. Maybe we, maybe we can, maybe we can talk this through. Maybe we can negotiate. He says with his like two arms, like noodles, like dangling. And he's on a knee. We tend to, people tend to negotiate in a position of authority. I don't think you have that at the moment, sir. Um, can I use monster empathy? Sure. Cool. We'll, we'll, we'll see if this is successful. If this is not successful, then I will not explain what it does. It's a nine.

[01:32:39] Um, on a seven to nine, hold one. Uh, when you try to work out what a supernatural creature desires, you charm. Um, spend your hold one for one to ask the following questions. Uh, what I want to ask you is what would Vex accept as good enough now? Wow. Um, so it definitely. In exchange for, for my years. Oh, in exchange for your years. Uh, not going into that, into that jar.

[01:33:10] Um, like he seemed, he, he seems okay. He seemed like at this point, he kind of seemed okay with you guys just like, uh, blowing him away and basically like sending him back to hell. Like, but like, but cause killing him here. Cause he wants to regenerate. Yeah. We'll just send him back to hell. Um, that box seems something slightly different from that, that kind of like situation. So he does not want to go in that jar or in that, in that, in that stone vessel, whatever it is, uh, with the weird, like slashing glyphs and such.

[01:33:40] Okay. I'm going to keep it to myself. Okay. I was just curious. Yep. Um, but yeah, he would very much like not to go into that jar. So he might be willing to like negotiate your years if you can do that. So, um, but yeah. So he's like, I'm going to, I'm going to stay silent. I have, uh, he needs to not prey on teenage girls. Even if that means I am not a teenage girl any longer. Weren't you like early twenties? Yeah.

[01:34:09] But like, you don't develop your full brain until you're like 25. No, that's true. Yeah. I'm just going to, I'm going to start walking towards him and be like, does anybody have any interest in talking to this guy? I'm just curious, uh, real quick. I've read about this type of thing before. I'm trying to find the move real quick, Chris, but, um, I wonder if there's anybody who would be interested in receiving him.

[01:34:37] Um, does Vex have any enemies? Did I, I'm wondering if I've read that, read into that. Does that, uh, does that sound suitable, Chris? Do you have any holds left on, on, uh, I'd like Chris, for us to do all this. Yeah. He burned those for, uh, for all the, all the ritual stuff. Yeah. Basically hand waved the ritual for him to the most part. Yeah. Well, I did row a 12 though.

[01:35:04] I'm just going to advance on it with the box and just say, give the girl her ears back. Now. Uh, not unless you're, not unless you're putting me in that box, not unless you're putting me into that box afterward. Um, but yeah, so the preparedness, um, something unusual or rare. Uh, yeah. So on a, this is a 12, so yeah, on 10 plus, uh, you have it right now. Okay.

[01:35:33] Um, I'm trying to think now of like what, who would, who's, who's like. If we had him, who could break the contract without his, uh, his, uh, I'm trying to take any leverage. He has what have Andre the, uh, angel and speed dial. Yeah. Well, I can't remember if you guys, did you, you guys just killed tank around tank Uranus, right? Uh, Marvin and, uh, and, uh, uh,

[01:36:01] Oh no, we sent tank Uranus back. Like, yes, you sent him back to hell. Uh, so he is still active. He's still like summonable or like, or contactable. Um, so yeah, you could just like, you do technically have another demon on speed dial. You also know his true name. So, um, so yeah, you could definitely like bring him in and like, and maybe have him, uh, um, give, uh, uh, Juliet her, her, her years back. If, if you wanted, uh, that'd be a different deal with a different demon.

[01:36:30] That would be a different, it would be a different deal with the devil. So yeah. Okay. Let's be trading one for another. Cause what would you want for that? I mean, that's the, that's the issue. Yeah. Uh, Bex. Yeah. Uh, you know what? That might be something worth. Yeah. Um, I will, I will say for, yeah. So to ask, to answer your question there, um, uh, uh, David Allen Doyle, uh, like what, who, like, um, what was, what was the question?

[01:36:59] It was like, uh, it's like who, who would be more interested in having a, having, uh, Vex that could, uh, like, to lift you its curse and give her a good respect. Yeah. Um, you, uh, you, you, you kind of, you remember, you recall like when you were like looking up some stuff on, on, um, uh, Vex, uh, and, uh, Vex Loth, I think was the name of, of, uh, Vex.

[01:37:23] Um, you remember that he had a, uh, a cousin, uh, named Tankeranus that was like one of his, like he was, um, uh, Vex was, was subordinate to, but then Tankeranus kind of vanished in, um, the primordial hells for some, uh, mysteriously. So, uh, yeah, you see, you've, you've found some, like, you found some, like strange, like esoteric magazines or zines, um, that were like describing something like that along those lines.

[01:37:53] Yeah, exactly. It's just a Mormon, uh, genealogy, uh, site. We'll never be able to spell that name, right? Yeah. So what do y'all want to do? I mean, I could just try and knock this big bastard out and then we could talk around until he wakes up.

[01:38:17] He's like, like, like Vex, as far as Vex is concerned, like if he gives you guys the, uh, the, uh, the years back without making, without you guys like promising not to put him in that, in that container. Um, there's no guarantee that he's not going into that container and he does not want to go in there. We could word it in a way that where we could still step him in the container as long as we're being tricksy about it. Something like I won't put you in there. Trixie Hobbits. Trixie and false, yep.

[01:38:45] While we're, while we're talking about this so he doesn't hear whatever our conversation was, I'm going to go try and punch him. I'm not going to kill him. Okay. I just want to knock him out. You can try. I'm going to put him to sleep. I just want to put him to sleep. Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep. All right. Do we have any, with all the, everything going on or we just, is that just negating everything that he has or do we have any pluses for it? Oh, we got one. I got a plus one for Marvin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:39:14] And like the, the, the water's still coming down. So it's like still, it's still sizzling his, his scales. So. Okay. I just want to make sure. That's a, that's a advanced success. So I just, I just roll up to him. Cause I'm without my claws. I don't know how much damage I do, but do you just want to do base? Yeah. I'm going to do base two. Okay. Yeah. Well, this is an advanced success. So yeah, you can definitely like, you can basically put them, like do the harm and then get them where you want them.

[01:39:44] So. Well, I mostly just, if, if it'll knock him out, I just mostly want to walk up and just crack him across the jaw with double damage. Yeah. Not with double damage. Like the double damage will kill him. I don't, I just, I kind of want to do bludgeoning damage. Yeah. No, you can do that. It's just like, uh, in terms of like the way the, the rules are for like advanced successes like that, it would be, um, like you'd either do double damage or you do harm. Plus, uh, get the creature into like, uh, like somewhere you want to be kind of thing. Okay. So he's just KO'd.

[01:40:14] Just not. Okay. Yeah. Like you, uh, yeah. Where does the thing? Um, uh, hold the advantage. Yeah. Um, yeah, I'd say you basically, you do the basic harm, but then you also like get them where you want them. I'm scouting. So, and that would be unconscious. Yeah. So I just walk up, hold on a second. And I just, uh, what, what was the heart? What was the damage on that though? Just for like damage. It'd be two, two. Okay. That's fine. He's still, still alive.

[01:40:43] But, uh, and then also now like, you just like, like, like, like as he's just like, as there's a stalemate, you just kind of walk in and just like, excuse me. Bam. Boom. Boom. It just falls to the ground. Like, like, like, like a tooth, a fan goes flying off sizzles as it hits the, the sanctified floor. Um, and his, his tongue lulls out and he just like flops to the ground, like in the middle of the circle. All right. Now we can talk about this plan. So he's definitely going in the jar, right?

[01:41:12] I think that he should go in the jar. Mm-hmm. But we also need to make a deal to get your years back in a way that we can still put him in the jar. I mean, are we going to? He's going in the jar no matter what. Mm-hmm. The deal I was going to offer is a simple one. Um, he goes in the jar, but we don't give him to his worst enemy. Oh, that's good. I like that.

[01:41:41] Who's his worst enemy? Like, who are demons scared of? Other demons. Uh, seal. Yeah. Seagull. Seagull, yeah. Huh. You know. Or we do happen to have a line on a pretty good angel. I'm pretty sure that if we got, you know, if I made a call to Andre, he would definitely want that. Yeah. Balls.

[01:42:14] I love watching Andre, did I have documentaries? But anyway. Um, it's, it's your last call. I mean, I just kind of, I think he deserves more. And I know that this is kind of maybe a Faustian deal. If we put him away, Juliet doesn't get her years back. Um, I mean, she's already lost a $14,000 drone. I mean. Uh, don't worry about that. We got, we got ways to get it. We got slush money.

[01:42:42] Uh, Johnny, how's Chuck? Or maybe Juliet could. Oh, he's alive. Yeah. Chuck, Chuck's, uh, Chuck, Chuck can't come to the phone right now. Uh, he rolled San and failed, uh, when he got grabbed by, uh, grabbed by. And then he got shot in the knee. Yeah. And they got shot in the knee. Yeah. So like you guys have been, I'm going to say you, you managed to like bandage them up with your role there, uh, from earlier, uh, uh, Gio. Um, or not Johnny. Johnny. Wow. So many. Too many days.

[01:43:11] We have a David Allen Doyle and a David as a player. Mr. Dirt. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so what do you think Johnny? Uh, you guys, you guys, you guys are more thinky than I am. As far as how this deal is going to go. He's currently taking it 99 time. So we got some time. I don't think any deal you make with the devil is a bad.

[01:43:38] There's a reason why deal with the devil is a meme. Uh, I'm inclined to no deal. Sorry, Juliet, but like, I don't have to be sorry. I, when I made the original deal, I thought it was coming off of the backend. So clearly he's a slimy fuck. Uh, and I definitely don't want to ask for my years back because I'm afraid I'm going to

[01:44:07] ask it in a way that's going to fuck me over worse. I'm still alive right now, which is a lot better than it could have gone. Would I like to be young again? I'd love to be young again. I'd love to walk back into my life as it was. But the fact of the matter is I'm not going to walk back into my life as it was. My friends are all traumatized. My best friend is dead. My dad, my fucking drone is gone.

[01:44:34] That drone is the most, I will never financially recover from this. Sorry. My fucking drone is gone. My drone is gone. Camille's in the background like, why do we say fuck me for it? The drone really matters that much? Seriously. My best friend is dead, but that drone. Not that drone. I might have cancer in like a few years.

[01:45:03] I've carried around a revolver for like probably way too long. Oh, don't worry about that. Yeah, that's not how you do your anywhere. You're fine. I default to the experts in this case. If you guys see a safe way through this, then let's do it. If it's too much of a risk, then don't. Well, who do we want to make the deal with first?

[01:45:31] The angel or do we want to try the demon? Because on the one hand, it is better for the demon you know. I mean, yes. He can leave his eternity safe inside a little jar and we won't give him to his worst enemy. Whoever that might be. I kind of like that idea. The jar might be pretty painful. Not that I care too much about that, but he seems desperate to escape that jar. I mean, we're not making a deal with him at all, right? Mm-hmm.

[01:46:01] So why don't we just put him in the jar while he's asleep? I mean, regardless, he's going in the jar, right? That part of the plan is for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Put him in the jar. Put him in timeout. Yeah. I mean, the fight's done. He's snoozing. Put him in the jar and then, you know, angel or devil or nothing. Right. Let's jar him. You bring the stone piece.

[01:46:31] It's basically the size of a football. If I haven't described this thing properly, it's kind of trapezoidal in a way. It's made of some kind of stone. It almost looks like it's like fossilized. Like, it almost looks like it has like fossilized, like lizard scale is like the material, the surface of it. Uh, and there's these strange like etchings in it, like on each, on each facet. Uh, almost like, uh, like, uh, claw mark glyphs. Uh, I have an image of it, uh, to show.

[01:47:01] As I always do. Um, just give me a moment. Yeah. That's what the imp stone looks like. Ah, the imp stone. Yeah. Um, and yeah, so you, you bring that, you, you bring that closer and you start seeing like, uh, as, as you get closer to, uh, to, uh, to Vex's like slumber, like kind of like knocked out form.

[01:47:26] Uh, parts of him begin kind of like bubbling off of him and fall and like slipping into the stone. Uh, and then as it's like, while, uh, as it is too late, um, he, he comes to and he's like, what? No, no. It just like grabs onto the rock, onto the, onto the, the floor of the, the, the, of the church and basically just drags his nails along as he is just eventually like completely.

[01:47:55] You had your chance. Discompor, uh, discompor, uh, discomporated, um, and just. Melt into this, into the, uh, the imp stone, um, screaming. And then the, uh, the glyphs all flash a, uh, sort of a brilliant yellow, uh, and white, uh, before fading back to nothing. So sucks to suck.

[01:48:26] Tingle, you want to keep a hold of that? Or Juliet, do you want it as a trophy? No. No. Juliet, want to keep it? You have 13 years of my life. I have you fucker. Did Mariana trinch? No one else. I'll hold onto it. Because let's be fair. I'm sure that the Iscariot society has a place for this. I'm sure we can put it in the Vatican archive somewhere. Yeah. And, uh, what do you guys do next? Just standing there like, well.

[01:48:56] Oh yeah. Um, Chuck, Chuck is, Chuck has been, uh, like again, bandaged up his knees. He, he won't, he'll never walk right again, but maybe with, maybe with some surgeries maybe. But like, yeah, he is. Yeah. He's definitely going to be, uh, limping a bit. Um, and, uh, but he is still kind of like out of it because of the things he's seen. The things he's seen? Yeah. What a bitch. You know, I do quite feel kind of bad about shooting him in the knee.

[01:49:26] Should I try to magic that away? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Might as well. I don't know if we can do that. Do you have that radioactive round? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So you go to the back of the church and it's like, oh, there it is. Like, just pull that. Yeah. She's going to take out her pocket knife and, and whittle it out of the wood. Yep. Yep. It's going to slowly start moving the pews back. Yeah. You put the fires out.

[01:49:54] Uh, there's definitely like the smell of like, of like damp, like fire wood in this, uh, in this church now, but that's fine. That's character. So you want us to roll a weird for you, David? Yes, please. I got you. You don't want me rolling it again. Uh, it's a seven. That's, that's dad. That's, that is correct. Nevermind.

[01:50:23] I tried to roll on, uh, I tried to be smart and roll on, uh, David's character sheet, but it didn't work out. Give me one second. Uh, I can do that. Mm-hmm. I've got it up. Okay. Dad. That's a ten. That's two. What was I doing? Huh? Didn't know that thing was loaded. Uh, there's a, there's something in here for like healing. So let me take a look here. Yeah. He'll solve it.

[01:50:50] I just immediately thought David and my, oh yeah, that's David's. It wasn't. Um, when you think. Um, okay. Uh, on a 10 plus. Yeah. You, you managed to heal up, um, like you use, what does it look like when you're healing, um, uh, as you're healing, uh, uh, Chuck from his, uh, his, his kneecap? Uh, so, uh, uh, this is gonna be a, uh, kind of a fun one.

[01:51:21] Uh, I start to chant, um, in an ancient language that hasn't been spoken on the planet in a very long time. As I do, I glow gold and then a strange looking mark appears over top of my head. And then Chuck's wound just kind of reverses. All right. Yeah. It's just knitting itself back together. And yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the bullet, uh, pops out. Flies back into the gun.

[01:51:52] And to be fair, anybody that sees that particular mark feels that it is wrong in some way. Comic Sans. Oh man. Evil cursive. All right. Hey, what the fuck was that? Geo's just like, what's his bullshit? Uh, he speaks in windings. I don't know. Webdings even worse.

[01:52:24] It's the Lord, I guess. But, uh, yeah. Um, yeah. Chuck, Chuck is still like, he's still out of it a little bit, but he's like, again, his wounds, his physical wounds have been healed and he'll, he'll probably recover mentally. I'll, I'll call Nella. I'll step out of the church and smoke a cigarette because, you know, it's wet in there. Yeah. Yeah. Neller. Uh, we got him.

[01:52:54] Oh, thank God. Thank God. Thank you so much. Um, where are you guys now? Are you guys, are you guys in the county or? We're in Texas. Last time I checked, it's all kind of blurry right now. Concussions make me sleepy guys. Yeah. Look, honey, I've been meaning to tell you this before you love anybody else, honey, you really got to learn how to love yourself.

[01:53:20] Like it really, there's a lot of good therapists that I've went to over the time. Some were mandated by the courts, others were not. And this is one of these ones I voluntarily did. But, but like, just, you need to make yourself, work yourself up some. It's just, it's from your uncle, it loves you. All right. Make a, make a manipulate role. I just want to see how her reaction is. I have like a zero in that. I know. Let's do it. It's, it's, it's sound advice, Chris.

[01:53:50] Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Hold on. The delivery is the excellent part. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, you would trust me more of like, where's your problem right there? Your distributor cap's loose. Yeah. Oh boy. Well, you want to spend the luck? So the. You know what? To help us not do this again. Yes. I'm going to burn a luck. And somewhere in my name, hillbilly rambling. She's like, I think he's onto something. Yeah.

[01:54:20] I think, I think you're right. Yeah. It's not going to be a, okay. Thanks. Thanks. Uncle dad. Like. If not, she's seagulls taking her to a nunnery. It's, it doesn't matter. Yeah. It's more sincere than, than, than not. Well, let's be fair. She would make a good battle. After all of the things she's been through. Yeah. And she is kind of a monster magnet. She is kind of a monster magnet. Um, but yeah. Um, yeah, she, she takes that to heart.

[01:54:49] She takes it to heart. And the, uh, she's all right. Well, you guys, you're, you're bringing dad back, right? Like, oh yeah, honey, that's fine. It's just, it's a country. Let me back in there. I kind of left her. We'll get him there. Okay. Um, thanks. Love you. Love you too, honey. Click. Yeah. So guys, do we need to wake Chuck up and give him the tongue lashing that we've been wanting

[01:55:16] to, or do we want to step him in the car and drive him back to Canada and then do that? Let's give him the advantage. I think he was probably going to fly. So we feel safe where he gets tongue lashed. Yeah. To the Waffle House. To the Tim Hortons. No. Oh, yeah. Actually, I do. I could do kind of like the idea that you guys like, cause it's still good.

[01:55:43] Like take you guys like a day at least to drive down to, um, or drive up back up to Canada. So it's like, you guys stop at like a Waffle House. Uh, when he finally, uh, as he's like finally recovered, like from the car, like during the car ride. So. We're going from Texarkana back to Canada. That's, that's gotta be more than a day. Yeah. What do we think? It was like 16, 19 hours. Yeah. I mean, it depends on who's driving. Mm-hmm. Marvin and I are both racing to see who can get there faster.

[01:56:13] When we get there, when we get there, you say that and I like, we were racing. Only drive as fast as my eyes can see. Solid reflexes. It's on the reflexes. Oh, sweet Jesus. I just looked at it. It's about 20 hours. Yeah. What? There's 24 hours in a day, Chris. Quit being a damn naysayer. Hey, this is his bad. This is my bad. I hate driving in America. Yeah.

[01:56:39] I did drive all the way out to Kentucky and that took about like 14, 16 hours. So yeah. I also hate driving in Kentucky. Trust. Oh, you were halfway there. No, you're really halfway there. It would have been 20 hours. But yeah. So yeah. What's the, what's the next situation guys? So do you, yeah. Do you stop at a Waffle House on the way back to like on, or like, do you, do you like

[01:57:07] have the talk with, with Chuck, uh, uh, in a motel as your way, uh, before you guys head back out to, uh, drop him off in, uh, it feels like Waffle House. Waffle House. Waffle House. We've also like, I also like John's, uh, idea about, uh, home court advantage whenever we're yelling at him. Yeah. Yeah. You guys can also do that. We can, we can, we can skip past like the road trip. Nothing. It's actually like just a lot of, uh, cinematic scenes of you guys just like driving. Like you guys have like all the shit's been done.

[01:57:35] You're just like kind of on the home stretch driving, uh, across America back into Canada. Johnny, it's the world's biggest ball of twine. We got to stop. I need a picture. We definitely don't have to stop, but he definitely wants a picture. Johnny, it's the world's largest haunted scarecrow. We definitely have to stop. Hide from all of you fuckers.

[01:58:04] I need, I need, I need a vacation. Your mom said she wanted a spoon from all these souvenir shops too, Johnny. Uh, but yeah, you guys, uh, eventually get across the border. Uh, and then it's another like four hours till you hit, uh, Maple Moose County. Um, and yeah, you pull onto that, that farm road in, uh, like between cold, uh, Port Coldstone

[01:58:31] and hind tail where, um, where, uh, the, uh, the farmstead is or the farmhouse is, uh, the farmhouse again is, is totally wrecked and there's just black sludge kind of evaporating off of it. Uh, but the, uh, the, the garage that has like a, like a, a bit like a living space above it and stuff like that, that's, um, that's still intact. And you see, um, uh, the, the garage door is open and, uh, there is, um, a bandaged up, um, I can't remember her name.

[01:59:00] I think it was like something gray, I think from Chuck's name was Wilhelmina. Uh, maybe yeah, Wilhelmina gray. Yeah. I think that's what her name was. That sounds right. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Wilhelmina is there like bandaged up, um, uh, with, um, uh, with, uh, Nella who, uh, looks, doesn't look battered or, or beaten like, like, doesn't look like damaged or anything like that, but like definitely like is wearing some like thrift store clothes that she had to acquire because like, well, look at the house.

[01:59:30] Um, and she just comes running up to you guys, like running up to your cars. Can I say in the meantime on the 20 hour drive up, I've been basically, uh, cause we got a lot of, a lot of time to drive and stuff where I'm basically teaching Juliet smuggling 101, like teaching her about routes and stuff like that. Yeah. You could definitely do that. Yeah. Oh, it's your man purse.

[01:59:54] I had to do the portfolio of all the highly illegal shit that I've learned in these last two weeks. Yep. No, absolutely. Yeah. It's like, uh, you're, you're like, this is Dave. He's a real good dude. He's got two kids. He's on the Canadian border. Hi, Dave. Yeah. Yeah. You guys aren't, I assume you guys aren't going through like the regular, like border channels.

[02:00:24] You're like finding some loopholes. No. God forbid they open the fucking trunk. Oh yeah. Can I see in the trunk? No. All right. Carry on. Yeah. I'm going to say, I'm going to say like part of the, one of the evenings is you guys basically taking a, like getting on like a, uh, getting, putting your cars onto a, like a large boat on Lake Ontario and just like in the middle of the night going across the,

[02:00:48] the lake to like, uh, to, um, the town of Dunwich, um, which is on the other side of Lake Ontario. Uh, my guy does know how to drive a boat. So, so I think the town is called Dutton dash Dunwich. Um, uh, and yeah, you guys, uh, slip into there, like get, uh, get your car, your, your cars back in and get back in your cars and, uh, drive through the night all the way up

[02:01:13] to, uh, Maple Moose County making, uh, helping, uh, helping, uh, Juliet, uh, make some, uh, some networking. Mm. For her. For her new life. Uh, and yeah. So she's going back to college. Ooh, she's a non-traditional student now. Oh, no. You can do that.

[02:01:40] That's also the easy way you could have done all of this. All you have to do is make sure that you are wearing your habit with your cross, uh, right out in the open where everybody can see it and slap this sticker that says Vatican and diplomat onto whatever container you don't want them to search. Siegel, I've done that. I just didn't know if it was disrespectful with you actually being here. Oh, no, it's okay. I've got permission. Uh, technically I'm father Siegel now.

[02:02:10] Oh, okay. Well, congratulations. All right. Don't, don't do this again. Just don't. Jesus. Johnny's just having it. It's just done. This has been a month of hell, literally in some fashions. Yeah. Nella's, Nella's, Nella's hugging her, her, her dad.

[02:02:40] Um, and there's definitely, there's apologies on both sides. Um, but mostly from, from, uh, from Chuck. So John, do you want to throw him in a lake and a wood chipper? What do you want to do? We've made a lot of promises in the last few days. Well, I think throwing them in a lake or a wood chipper would probably be counterproductive at this point, but Chuck, I'm going to say this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[02:03:10] Or sorry. Yeah. Johnny. Sorry. He's calling him by his government name. He didn't, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't, uh, flub that. That was me. Yeah. Um, don't call me again. Do not call me again. I have years more therapy that I need after this. I've been introduced to a wider world that I would have preferred to be ignorant of.

[02:03:43] Be a better father. Nella, be a better daughter. And hey, you know what? Next time you date somebody, maybe make a phone call, ask for a background check. They have a problem with it. You could tell them I've had a lot of bad relationships before. And, uh, it's, it's turned out badly for me. So I just need to be really careful.

[02:04:10] And if they still have a problem with it, dump them right there because they're a piece of shit and stop. I don't care what the internet says. No monster fucking none. Zero. None of it. Stop. Nella does like under her breath does have like say like kind of sheepishly. It's like, well, like I did dump them when I found out they were monsters. Yes. But you can find out early.

[02:04:37] Don't form a relationship and then dump them. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah. I will do uncle, uncle Johnny. Um, would have fixed all of this. Wow. You had a background check the fucking demon first. Like, oh, well, that guy doesn't exist. So we suggest you stay away from him. No, we fall so we can pick ourselves up. We all make mistakes.

[02:05:05] I dated a woman and didn't know she was a horse girl till later. I mean, she was half horse, half girl. Turns out I was dating a centaur. It's like, I was like, dad, which half was the horse? And how did you not notice? It was an online relationship. It was through, I say, why the long face? Oh man. She's talking to me with OkCupid. You really don't want to use OkCupid.

[02:05:35] Their, their filters are horrible. Anyway, guys, I'm going to go back home. Where enduring my mother is less stressful than this. So. Bye. Johnny. Just walks off into the sunset. Thanks for the trauma. Be safe.

[02:06:04] Johnny, don't forget the spoons. And also, if you ever need me, call me. I will, Siegel. You've earned at least three of them. Okay. Thank you. Same. I'll keep that in mind. If everything works out in my life, even remotely the way I want it to going forward, you'll never hear from me again. Yeah. And, and Johnny just, I guess, go, gets in his car.

[02:06:33] Walks off into the sea. Gets in his car and drives away. Drives off. Yep. Um, and then, uh, what are the rest of you guys? Nella, do you know what we've done over the last two weeks? Uh, Wilhelmina's filled me in on some of it. And the fact that she's here and she's beat up makes me very angry, but it's fine. It's, it's, it's, it's fine. It, it, my own fault.

[02:07:03] Um, that demon T-Rex thing, um, got me by surprise and just like threw me across the farm. Yeah. Wilhelmina, do you want to shake up the rock he's in for a few minutes? Do I? It's like tapping the glass on an aquarium. They hate it. They hate it when you do that. Uh, you know what? Oh, is that, is that, is that where he is? Yep.

[02:07:33] He's in here. She like immediately goes for the sledgehammer in the garage. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. Okay. Nevermind. Shake it. Don't break it. You break it, you buy it. She, she takes it and just starts like, he's like, oh, this motherfucker. And she's like a lot stronger. Cause it's like, it's like a cinder block basically like a, like a football size cinder block thing. And she's just like shaking it furiously. Like she's about to throw it, like, like just throw it out of rage.

[02:08:02] And like, you guys are just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She's shaking out a little bit. She's like, oh, like, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. It's, it's. Oh, you've been in Canada too long. Quick. Let's get her back across the border. I need, I need to smoke. And she like goes and pulls out like a, pulls out some wrapped up, uh, uh, a joint basically. It just starts smoking. Go over to the car and I go, I got two presents for you.

[02:08:28] One, a gift from, uh, where was it? The, where was the, uh, serenade at? Uh, that was at the motel, uh, in, um, uh, in, uh, head Lake, I think it's called. Yes. Yeah. I say, here's a gift from head Lake. And I toss her a bag of weed. Oh no. That. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh yeah. You got it from that. Yeah. Okay. I guess. Yeah. Cause I got it from the dude that ran the, uh, the one that the guy in his life you ruined. Yeah. Yeah.

[02:08:56] And then I said, I got one more present and I pull out a box and then I open it up and it has the little pearl that has the, uh, for the snake pyres in it. I said, oh, well, that's going to go well with the, uh, the, uh, with the trophy room. Mm. Mm. That was the only fun thing I've done in the last two weeks. The only, I take that back. The only fun thing that I had to kill in the last two weeks. Yeah.

[02:09:24] I guess we'll be, uh, well, could you, could you bring it back to the commune? I think I'm going to stick around and, uh, keep an eye on, on, on Chuck and Nella. Um, or at least keep an eye on Chuck, make sure he's okay. Uh, he kind of, she kind of like grips, grabs onto, onto Chuck and kind of, uh, a meaningful way. Oh. What, one more question.

[02:09:48] We sent two people to the commune after they got jumped by these vampires. Oh yeah. Yeah. They're, they're, they, they, uh, they arrived, um, not too long ago. Um, they're fine. Uh, as far as I know, they're still at the commune, um, uh, enjoying our hospitality. Okay. Uh, that's her friends and I point over at Juliet. Ah, yes. Um, do you want to go pick them up on the way? I look over at Juliet.

[02:10:19] Uh, she's going to walk away. Okay. She's, she's going to go stand a little further out and stare into the tree line and think. Stare into the tree line as Johnny walks away. You, you just walk out into the, into the farm field and just like look at the tree lines, like the, the kind of encroaching tree lines. Yeah. Now that we're not, uh, mission oriented, uh, she now has to decide, uh, what the fuck she's doing with her life.

[02:10:48] Uh, so I'll revisit. Okay. That's fine. And then Chuck, everything John said, just do all of that. I'm, I'm, I've been talking with Wilhelmina, uh, last few days. I think I'm going to, I'm going to go to, uh, get some therapy that, that, I guess I'll do some therapy thing. Um, might, might try and rebuild this place, but if not, we'll, we'll find another place.

[02:11:17] Uh, and, uh, yeah, try and I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I promise to do better guys. I'm sorry about all this. Then I look at Nella and I say, and you. She like points at herself nervously. She's been berated a lot. Do better. Everything. Also everything John and Siegel said. And also if we ever get wind of this happening again, there's a good chance you're going to

[02:11:45] wake up in a commune hosted by Siegel because that's the only way we know you can be safe. Convent. Convent. Yeah. What did I say? Not a convent. No. Convent. Yeah. That's communes. I've got the convents. Yes. And it's okay. Mother Superior will be a little bit extra.

[02:12:08] So if you miss a single background check, I swear to all that's holy young lady. And I know all that's holy. That I will be back. That I will be back and you will not be happy. Yeah. Yeah. She's just kind of like, yes, sir. I'm just going to walk off and I'm going to give him some distance, but I'm going to keep an eye on Juliet. Everybody's just going.

[02:12:34] It's like a band cover. It's like a band cover. Like everybody's looking off in different directions on the farm. Now understand, we're saying all of this out of love because we wouldn't have done this if we didn't love you. Now I'm going to stick around for a couple of weeks and help your dad put a roof back on this house because the Iscariot Society has asked me very, very politely to stay in

[02:13:01] one place for a little while and not get into any trouble. So I am going to do my level best to not get into trouble. I think I can do that by rebuilding this roof. My boss was a carpenter at one time. Great. And I guess, yeah, David Allen Doyle or not David. Yeah, no, David Allen Doyle. What are you up to in all this is going on? Yeah.

[02:13:30] Boys, I hate to rush, but I got some business down in Dayton, Ohio. Dayton? Why are you going to that hellhole? Hardest city in the nation. Especially Chinatown. Yeah, don't fuck the Chinatown in Dayton, Ohio. Those three guys named Dave. That's a hell of a salt bag. Yeah, I had to. Yeah.

[02:13:59] I'll be honest with you. I just want to go down there and settle some old scores. You know what I mean? And then maybe if I'm lucky, I may go out and go down them snake mounds down in southern Ohio. I hear there's some great magic down there. I might be able to figure out. But there are gigantic snake mounds down in southern Ohio. Yep. Yep.

[02:14:24] If you happen to run into Eric's snow at any point in time in your dimension hopping or whatever you end up doing, let us know. Oh. I'll be on the lookout for it. But yeah, so David's gas up the truck and, you know, hopefully not get stopped by the border. Or, you know, I'll go back on the ferry, the dark ferry through the lake. Yeah. Yeah.

[02:14:52] It says that now that you know that you see the light of day to say the the Charons, the SS Charon. All right. It does have like a yeah, like some some some kind of Stygian or like again, like ferryman sort of name on it on the that's sort of covered up by rust and and some other paint jobs and such. So I tried to convince Frank to not wear that hood, but he just loves it so much. He said it's part of the mystique.

[02:15:20] I've got a gimmick here, guys. I'd say that I have an idiom that I have to maintain. So, you know, as you as a face to black on that on that particular vignette, you see him standing on the deck of the ferry smoking a cigarette and woman materialized out of nowhere and leans beside him. I'm kind of alluding. That's the patron. I am recording. Yeah.

[02:15:47] So what about my my proposition there, Mr. Doyle? Need some time to think about it still. Yeah. I take all the time you need. I'll always be here. Better than the horse girl. Yeah. I can only count so high. I will say I will say as like as you're like going across the water, like like the again,

[02:16:14] the sun, the lighting and such, you see like your shadow behind you on the deck of the boat and you see her shadow on the deck of the boat and there's tentacles kind of writhing off of it. I once dated a woman that was seven stone tall. Oh, 16 hands. For hands. Yeah. Oh, man. All right. So yeah, that's that's David Allen Doyle, I guess. So yeah. Do we want any other epilogues before I do some before I do one or two?

[02:16:43] We've got Marvin's and we got. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry. Marvin. I'm fine. I'm sorry. Brownie. I was waiting to see if anybody remembers the NPC. Honestly. Yeah. I'm so sorry. No. Marvin. Marvin, what has Marvin been up to this entire time? He's sitting on a porch. No, no. Marvin's not much for this talking and feeling thing. So when nobody was watching, he's already out of there.

[02:17:12] He's bombing down the highway in the suburban. He's got chance and second chance hanging out of one window. Yep. He's listening to Joe Cocker's feeling all right. He's gone. You just drive back to, uh, back to sporks. That's a very appropriate way for Marvin to do things. Yeah. The rest of you guys are there. It's like, Hey, where'd Marvin go? Did you really just Irish by us? I just hear the dogs in the background going. Yeah. Yeah. You heard. Yeah. Yeah. As you were like walking off and like even out of Juliet,

[02:17:42] you did hear off in the distance. Like, uh, it's like goodbye. Like you hear like, it's barking like off in the distance, but you hear, um, Gio. It's like, bye Gio. It was really fun hanging out. I can't wait to see you back in, back at sporks. Yeah. I just wave. So I have a question. Yep. Um, can I, can I still summon Camille? She, she's going to call out to her.

[02:18:10] We have completed her vengeance. Uh, you go to try and after a kind of almost to you, it's a very kind of like almost like heartbreak moment. Uh, she does kind of like pop back, like pocket pop into view. I don't think that's heartbreaking at all. No, no. Like the wait, the moment where you're waiting for it to happen. You're like, Oh yeah. It's not like there. It was like one moment to like, like past. And I was like, Oh fuck.

[02:18:39] Like that's where like your heart started like to wrench. And then she popped up. So. Oh, thank God. Okay. You didn't think I was going to be, did you? I did. I, dude, what do you want to do? She, she just kind of like shrugs. It's like, well, I'm not, I've got, I'm not, I guess my, my business isn't either. My business isn't finished or I'm bound to you. Um,

[02:19:09] so. I, I got nowhere else to know where else to be right now. Uh, as apparently. So, Oh, I mean, in terms of like, like, I'm, I'm not been, I'm not been whisked away to like the great beyond or whatever the, your priest friend there was saying has been saying. Do you, do you want that though? Do you want me to try and let you move on? I mean, he's still here. And I,

[02:19:37] I still have your camera. Honestly, if I'm being honest, I'd, I'd like to see the world a little bit more. I thought I had more time before this shit happened. So, um, where you go, I go. Do you, do you want to, uh, okay. You have two choices. Do you want America or do you want abroad? God. Fuck it.

[02:20:07] Let's go abroad. All right. I'm going to have to learn a lot of prayers. And she's going to walk back over. Um, she is going to walk straight up to Nella and she's going to hug her and she's going to hug her real tight. Nella. one, I'm really glad to meet you non shagathian. That was really fucking gross. Uh, you did almost murder me. That's okay though. I'm not mad at you. Uh,

[02:20:37] coming from someone that was your age two weeks ago. Uh, I get it. Uh, my exes are assholes. I once dated this guy and then he stole my whole gimmick and made a fucking ghost show. What an asshole. I get it. Oh yeah. But seriously, listen, listen to your family and do background checks. Um, they love you so fucking much. And I know that it's easy for them to blame you, uh,

[02:21:07] for not being over cautious. Uh, but that is, that is young love. Uh, and again, I get it. Um, from this point forward though, listen to them. Um, this is a really hard adjustment on you and your dad. And don't ever forget that you guys are a team. Just as much as we were a team to fix this, you and your dad are what you have in this life. You're not against each other. As,

[02:21:37] as much as it might feel like it, you're not against each other. You, you have to make these decisions together and you have to trust each other because I know that that's going to be hard after everything. But you have to trust that, that he is going to step up and, and he has to trust you to make the right decisions. And you know what? If you, if you want to, want to fuck another monster, that's okay.

[02:22:07] You need to ask your family first. Okay. I, it's gotta be a cool one. No, none, none of these other ones. Uh, actually you're, you're, you're, uh, you did serenade a little dirty. If I, if I can say so myself, she's actually really cool. But also there's that shifter guy that like was actually pretty cool. Just saying. Yeah. The Jack, that Jack is his name. Yeah.

[02:22:37] Yeah. Yeah. Wait. Yeah. Jack was actually a pretty good dude, but, he's bound to that town. So don't revisit that one. That sounds really fucked up. Yeah. You don't want to, you know, no, no, no, no. Don't settle down there. He's on his hero mission. Let him do that. That's how he's, don't fucking go back there. Uh, but serenade, serenade is pretty cool. If you can get past the whole fishiness of it all. I think she's genuinely a good person. Uh,

[02:23:07] don't ever. Fuck with demons. Again, trust your dad, trust your family. Someone here is not mad at you. I'm really glad to see that you are not tentacles and black mucus. Uh, you're going to do fine kid. And she's going to hug her again. Yeah. And, and Nella definitely like hugs back a lot tighter as well. Uh, you hear her sobbing. Oh, um, I'm also,

[02:23:36] I'm going to take her phone out of her pocket and I'm going to put Juliet's number in her phone. Uh, she can always call me. Chuck, on the other hand, does not have the right to summon me. He does not get my fucking phone number. Yeah, that's, that's, yeah, that's understandable. Um, and then she said, I'll walk over to Siegel and, uh, well, father, um, I know we talked a lot about a nunnery. Um, I don't necessarily think that I,

[02:24:06] I'm too pumped about it, but, uh, do you have the need for two assistants? One very physical and one, uh, incorporeal? The Holy Ghost, if you will. Uh, the Holy Ghost. Tell you what, we can get a couple of special dispensations as long as you're willing to say a couple of minor vows. Although,

[02:24:34] the way you've been carrying around that particular magnum, I don't believe that the vow of chastity is going to be as difficult as you think it is. Oh, I, I, uh, whatever vows we need. I, let's do it. Come with me. And I'm going to show you the world. You're going to get to see all sorts of wonderful places.

[02:25:02] You're going to get to experience travel like you've never had before, but there are going to be selkies. I have one of the cargo hoed of a plane. Come with me. Adventure. They, they soar off into the sky on a rainbow. Oh, and, uh, sorry, before I, before we, we go off to, uh,

[02:25:32] do the Lord's work. Um, she, she's going to walk over to Geo. And, I don't think that many words are needed for it, but she's going to give him a really tight hug. He hugs her back. And then, uh, whenever, whenever they quit hugging, he holds out his hand and there's a set of keys in there. And he said, you know, all those roots that I, uh, that I, that I taught you. It's like, make sure you start using them. It's like,

[02:26:01] and he puts the keys in her hand and he said, I'm retired. Oh, Oh, um, she's also going to hold out her hand. I, I used your phone a lot, but I don't think that we have each other's contact information. That's also fair. Uh, and she's going to exchange phones and, and put in phone numbers. Uh, I don't know when I'll be back in the States again. Um,

[02:26:30] and I definitely probably can't smoke weed anymore, but I would like to see the commune sometime. Um, you're always welcome. I think that it would be nice to, the weed. It's fine. We get special discadest or we get special dispensation for a lot of things. I think that it would be nice to see Joel and Amelia, but I think that, um, I think that they're better off staying there.

[02:27:00] Or, uh, uh, at least somewhere close. I, I, I fear that, um, if they come across the supernatural again, uh, in an unsafe way, that it would be too much for them. And I think that it is very much too much for me right now to see them. Yeah. You may, at the very least, want to call and give him a heads up that you're still alive. Yeah.

[02:27:30] Yeah, I could do that. Yeah. And, uh, at least close the book on that one. But you'll watch them for me? Oh, absolutely. You gotta, it's almost like they have a pack of werewolves watching them. Good. I, I think that's a lot better than, than anything else that we came across. Oh, and, uh, before I forget, uh, give Miss Worm a call. Do that favor

[02:27:59] to yourself. Oh, that's what I'm doing after I get done here. Okay. Okay. And she's gonna give him- I've got a day one we never got a chance to do. Oh my. Oh. She's gonna give him another hug. Um, and then, and then go stand next to Seagull. All right. Um, so we have, so, so Johnny's gone. Marvin's on the road. Dad's on the road, or, like making deals with,

[02:28:29] with elder gods. Uh, potentially make, potentially date, potentially courting an elder god. Um, Juliet and Seagull, uh, you guys eventually, or like you guys stick around a little bit, but then eventually like go off and do divine ghost things. Um, and, uh, yeah. So, um, yeah, the, again, like the house gets built or like it's re like furnished, especially with some,

[02:28:58] some slush funds from, you know, Seagull side of things. And so many wards up on the house now. Yeah. Yeah. Before we repaint, we initially do seals. Yeah. That place is definitely becoming a green box or not green, but like, uh, a, um, a, uh, a sink, like a safe haven, uh, down the road. Like when, when Chuck eventually like sells it or her, or yeah. Um, like that place will live on for eternity for, for,

[02:29:27] for ever in this place is like a safe haven. Um, and, uh, yeah, eventually, uh, you, like some of you that still stay in touch, uh, eventually hear that like Nella has gone down to, uh, uh, to Tampa area or like down to Florida. Um, and, uh, she did actually apparently, she did a, after, after a while and, uh, through some like through proper communication and such, um, uh, her and Sarah Nade eventually got back together. Yeah.

[02:29:57] Uh, and, uh, yeah, they're living their best life in the, in this, uh, small town, uh, in the, near the Everglades, um, town of Amber Oaks. Um, it's right on the, right by the never, by the Everglades. Um, and, uh, that's where they, uh, they're basically like the other, they've kind of, where they've settled, uh, eventually. Oh, um, and then, uh, we, we, we cut away to somewhere. Again, this is like some possible years down the road or so. Um, uh, seagull, um,

[02:30:27] you, you and, uh, you, you and, uh, Juliet and, uh, and Camille have been, have been like kind of doing stuff across the years. Uh, off and on. Uh, eventually your, your tasks have led you to a place, uh, out in, uh, out in Saskatchewan, um, out in like literally the sticks, uh, called, uh, uh, there's a little, there's a, there was apparently a convent that was, uh, that was happening, uh, that was, uh,

[02:30:57] set up out there. And, uh, it's only recently come to, uh, the attention of the, of the church that, uh, there has been some corruption of a sort in that con, within that convent. Uh, St. Martyrs, uh, was the, uh, was the convent's, uh, uh, and they were bringing in people, like bringing in, uh, like, uh, like young women and such, uh, for, for the convent and such, but not for particular, uh,

[02:31:27] pure means. Um, uh, perhaps there is some kind of like eldritch horror, um, connected to this situation. And you guys are walking right into the, the shadow of this place amongst the, the pines and such, uh, loaded to bear, I assume. Uh, definitely. Yeah. Um, and then, um, we cut to Johnny. You have had very little,

[02:31:54] you have had next to no contact from any of your friends or any of your old friends and colleagues for years, for several years. Um, good. And eventually, but though, eventually you do, um, like things start looking up a little bit for you. Like, again, like you, you stay pretty isolated out there in the, in the cat skills. Um, but eventually you, you rekindled something with a, with a, uh, with a, uh, with a passerby. Um, her, you, you think her name is, is Sarah Hasturo? Uh, it's an Italian name. It's a pretty good name. Uh, your mom seems to really like her.

[02:32:25] Um, uh, and, and like, she's just very, very catching, especially with her amber eyes. Um, what did her background check say? Uh, everything seemed, uh, everything seemed up in the open house. She was a librarian in a, in a town called Coldport. Wait, or Port Coldstone. You, you, you vaguely remember that. It was like, is that place somewhere? Is that in Canada? Do they have a creamery? And that's where we're going to call it.

[02:32:55] That's where we're going to call, uh, Clusterfork. What a mess. Yeah. So like a bunch of you guys, like went off your, did your things. And some of you, like there's some, some like possible future things that like I had like lead out, but otherwise, yeah. Gonna have to go save Johnny. Johnny. Oh my God. Johnny. I really like this girl. Don't fuck it up for me. Johnny. I need some brain babies.

[02:33:26] Johnny. Yeah. My babies. I'm sorry. We've been, we've been quilting together. Johnny. Look at this. Look at these, look at these yellow signs. Look at these booties. Johnny. Look at these booties. You know, yellow was always your favorite color. Johnny growing up. Is it wrong that I see Johnny disappearing and mom going through the Rolodex? Like, okay. So Johnny has a bunch of these cards for a bunch of different people.

[02:33:55] And it's, there's this little envelope that says, ma, if something bad happens, call these, don't call these. But I should, but she dropped and messed up the Rolodex. So like, it's just, they all got shuffled together. And somehow Marvin's on top. Yeah. Yeah. Well, of course, because definitely don't call this guy. Oh, Oh,

[02:34:26] he somehow flips into the call this guy pile. Yeah. The only, the only person who's not in the call. Don't call this guy is Chuck. Everybody else is so cool. Yeah. Why is that one? I don't know. I thought he was your friend. I heard you talking about Marvin. I'm not so sure. Johnny has come back around on Marvin. Okay. Okay. Everything that Johnny has experienced in the last month. Yeah. It's like that. Marvin's all right. Yeah. Cause Marvin's always right.

[02:34:56] As it's Marvin has been right. Very frequently. Yeah. So maybe Marvin is wrong. You know, like maybe Marvin's wrong. Sometimes he says some crazy shit, but you can't just dismiss it out of hand anymore. Yeah. I still want an insane world where like the, the insane guy is saying, so. Yeah. I still want a 10 minute podcast episode of, of, uh, Johnny and Marvin talking about. No theories. Marvin. Okay. Okay. Can we,

[02:35:26] can we also establish like, like Marvin definitely like, like his epilogue here is that he started a podcast. Yeah. Remember words from the swamp. Yeah. What it was. Yeah. Truth from the swamp. Yeah. Yeah. Occasionally David Allen Doyle pipes in, comes in. You're the New York bail. Yeah. I don't think Marvin's that racist. I'm sorry. Okay. Uh, you're right. Sorry. Well, for a campaign, it took three years to finish. Oh my God.

[02:35:57] Two years. It took two years. Are you sure? Two years. Almost exact. We literally started in Gen Con 2024 and we have, we are finishing just before Gen Con 2026. Yeah. This is 2027. Where have you been? Where do you know? No. We're still in the liminal space. We never, never left Maple Moose. Yeah. I'm going to say elsewhere this thing. Yeah.

[02:36:26] But yeah. So I guess comments, questions, suggestions. When does season three start? Oh God. Yeah. It's going to be a Mark or it's going to be a Marvin Siegel and Juliet and a whole different cast of characters. Yeah. Yeah. A good time had by, had by all, I think. I think so too. It was very glorious. Glorious. I've been very sad to see the end of this coming, but I'm also very happy that we,

[02:36:56] we finished it and now we can do a post-mortal. Yeah. For the listen back. I'm so glad that we didn't do this at Gen Con. Oh my God. So glad. Yeah. Gen Con, Gen Con recordings are a bit of a mixed bag. Cause like, cause of background noise. I don't think that this would have had nearly the emotional weight. Somebody else was playing a game in the background, especially with a limit limitations of the flame princess. Yeah.

[02:37:25] Everyone huddled around one mic. Seriously. All I remember is shit. Gollum. I'm like, well, we all class them with our shit. You know it. Yeah. That's what I thought you were referencing earlier is because of the, the, the fan art we got of a shit. I got, but. Fan art from me. Yeah. Yeah. That's still fan art, sir. Yeah. Now that you're,

[02:37:54] now that we're done, you, you gotta draw the, the gaggle of intrepid heroes. Yeah. I, I had, I still need to draw the frame for, for, for Chuckle, or for Chuckle. Yeah. Not wrong. I have, I have, I have an idea for Chuckle. Angels, but yeah, for this one, like I definitely have some ideas. That's the, that's the follow-up Chuckle. Chuckle. Chuckle. Chuckle. Oh, man. Well,

[02:38:25] that's what the team that has to go save, uh, Johnny is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. His mom knew he was going to the McAllister building. Oh no. Oh no. Oh yes. I do have this, uh, this, uh, impossible landscapes book, uh, my shelf. Johnny just said, you're going, it's fucking real. Damn it. Really?

[02:38:54] How do I keep getting here? Also? Yeah. I do like that. Like, um, geo and since like, geo's kind of like hooking up with, uh, madam worm. It would basically like, you basically become like a, um, a support NPC character, like for a future, any future game where like, Oh, we need supplies. Oh, I know just the guy. And like the, this werewolf and dragon have a, have a, have a, have a mystic shop or an occult shop. Yeah. Another NPC. Yeah. Yeah. Now, if you,

[02:39:21] if you ever want to use geo as a, as a go between you feel free, sir. Yeah. Yeah. You guys just like go to like Madam worm's place. It's like, Oh, let me see how I have that. Oh, Oh, Oh, geo. Can you, honey, can you get me that? And he's like, Oh yeah, sir. Sure thing. In the back, like hold, like carrying a couch. He's like, move the car, pick up the car. Yeah, exactly. Geo comes into France. Sure thing. Han slaps your butt. Keeps going.

[02:39:53] Oh man. Yeah. No, this was like, again, long time coming, but like, this was such a fun campaign. I'm very sad. The Saturday morning ritual. Yeah. It does make room for another ritual, but at the same time, it will not be the same. Yep. And now I can edit this one, post it and it will arrive in time. It'll actually be able to go up right after a part one of the ritual. So. Yeah. Cause the first one's what three and a half hours long or something, three and a half, four hours, something like that. Yeah.

[02:40:23] Ah, man. Yeah. I don't, is there anything, and if there's nothing else to, to say, cause I think we're going to also save some stuff for the postmortem. So. Shout out Jay. Thank you for your summaries of, of all of this campaign. You're a trooper. Yep. And also, um, croaker. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Thank you for listening to this, this campaign. Uh, and I've been commenting and such. This has been, it's been hella fun.

[02:40:53] And again, very, very exciting when we get like comments from about this. Yes. Our only fan. Between this one and the first one, these top, these are in my top campaigns that I've played in. And yeah, it's bittersweet to see it go. All right. Uh, well, until next time, internet, we'll see y'all next time. Until next time. Good night, internet. Take care, internet. Johnny,

[02:41:23] where you going, Johnny? You never call. You never called.