(D&D5e): Protea - Episode 4: Grave Undertaking

[00:00:10] In a world long forgotten and forsaken by any gods, the mortal races have edged out a tenuous but thriving existence, fending off vile monsters and evils that linger from ages past. It is here several young adventurers are about to get caught up in events that will shake the very foundations of this world.

[00:00:35] As chaos begins to spread and a demonic legion threatens to make landfall on the shores of this world, how will these wayward youths fare? Welcome to Protea. Hi! Welcome to One Less Die, a 5th edition Protea actual play podcast.

[00:01:02] Tonight we're, uh, play or short, but we're gonna plow on without them. Um, I guess we should, uh, I am your GM, I'm Aaron, and I guess we should introduce characters. To my left, we have... Sparrow! Onyx! Arceus! Fantastic! Without further ado, I guess we'll get started.

[00:01:27] Okay, so when we last left off, uh, you guys had gone to the town of, uh, Nags Head. Mm-hmm. And, uh, and delivered your, um, your notice to the nearest town, to the mayor, um, about the horrible things that you had seen and your mentors all dying except for Rugg who was, you know, half dead. Kind of. Um... I know. Not exactly. Not exactly. Yes.

[00:01:57] There was a dice roll involved. Yes, but it's gonna seem like, it's gonna seem like far enough. Ugh. Because it was Chris here. Because it's specifically him that... He was, he was happy, but anyway, of course. That's not a good idea. You guys went to Nags Head, you delivered your message, and, uh, and then you found out about some missing children. So you guys had, uh, a few options for places to investigate. Um, I don't know how we're missing Ethan, and we're, like, we barely got out of the... Ethan passed out.

[00:02:27] Yeah, definitely. I don't even think Ethan was hit during that situation. They got spooked. They were, ooh! Oh! Um, so yeah, you guys, uh, you guys went to the, uh, cemetery, uh, to investigate. Do do do do do do. Kind of. Did I not leave any of your notes there? I guess I did not, so...

[00:02:56] You will fly by the seat of my pants. Great. Uh, okay, so you guys went to the cemetery where you decided that you wanted to, um, loot the elderly, uh, uh, grave digger. Right. Of his, um, worthless wedding ring. Um, who then woke up and, uh, attacked your party. Uh, you guys faced off against a bunch of zombies, uh, and managed to actually survive. Somehow.

[00:03:23] And, uh, that was where we left off. So, what do you guys want to do? Well, we're all horrible health. I'm not. Besides you. Yeah. Awesome. I'm, um... Yeah. I'm Ted. Fine. Good luck. So, should we...

[00:03:47] I think it's better that we, before we go and escape further, we should probably go back and, like, rest or something. Like, explain what happened. Did we find any of the children? No. Oh. Fine. Not the third, yeah, the grave. We only have information that three of them were out there. Didn't we not go anywhere near where one of them was? There was talk of four kids and we only went to a spot that was seen by, er, people had seen three of them, I think. Uh, then let's go.

[00:04:17] Because we were going to find... Well, I don't think anyone's in the... The... The... The sister? Or the... Which one? Of the one we talked to initially, before we heard about three other kids. Oh, right. At the bar. Yeah. The... The one waitress. Yeah, the waitress's sister. Uh, well first we should probably, um, go back, rest, and explain what happened. Mm-hmm. We're giving back the worthless ring. Mm-hmm.

[00:04:48] We could, like, sell it. If it's worthless. Sell the family. I'm a disrespect. That's not how you do that, bud. Alright, then, hey. Let's wander back. You do what you think, you'll... Wait, who has the ring? I have no clue. It might be Ethan, to be completely honest. Didn't you steal a finger or something? Well, it was Ethan taking the ring from the finger. Exactly. So... Wait, so... Wait, is it even with us right now, then? Nah, Ethan's just in the pumps. We're just driving along. No, no.

[00:05:16] You guys, uh, you guys figure out what you're doing. I will... I will handle Ethan. Okay. Okay. Okay. Plan. You'll get rest. I still got cabbage. I still have cabbage. That I take boy one silver for. It was crazy. Let's head back to the village. Yep. Let's do that. Rest. Okay. Okay. You guys are heading back to the village. Okay. Shady. Alright, uh...

[00:05:46] I... I... I... Yeah. Um... Sure. Uh, yeah, so, uh, that if you're heading back to the village, what are you gonna do when you get to the village? Uh, I guess... Rest. You guys go find us a hotel, I'll go explain. Okay. Kip. To the town mayor. Let's send the dead guy. I was sure I had written the kids' names down. One of them was Sarah. Yeah. With an age. Because you didn't want to name one of the waitresses Sarah, so you just named one of the kids' names. Yeah. I should be fine. Are you gonna go tell?

[00:06:16] He said he was gonna go tell the mayor. Yeah. About what? About what? About what happened to the rear guard. I think. I don't know, I was just told to go and do something else. And now he saw nothing there. He saw nothing except a Corzones. You guys found a... A dead guard. A dead guard. A dead guard. You guys have been inside the cemetery for like 30 seconds. Mmm! Well, no, you guys had searched the cemetery and you found that guy. And there was also a crypt. Right.

[00:06:47] I agree. Should our kids really be the one going to do this? No. I'm the one with the people skills. Oh, that's true. Fine. You guys are going to do what though? Just to tell them? To let them know, yeah, the kid's gone forever? No, no, no. Then we searched the cemetery and we're gonna search something else tomorrow. You have to say what that something else is, I think, at least. Or is he informed of? You haven't gone in the crypt. No, I was just saying you have to say that they're... Wait, we didn't go in the crypt in the cemetery? No, because we just got... No, you fucked us up! We ambushed! Right.

[00:07:16] Are you serious? So should we go? Yes. Wait this second. Wait, no. We should do. Should we sleep? Yes! Rest first, then go. We rest on the ground. Are you guys doing a full rest or are you doing a short rest? Um... I didn't like to tell those characters' names. Yeah, they just changed names half the session. Oh, I did! I did! I just wrote it in a different place. Yeah! So... Oh my god.

[00:07:45] Are we gonna... We're gonna... Here, I have a name tag on them. When we find them, it's just gonna be like, hello, my name is... So... Oh no! That's you! We found him! You know they're children, right? Dummy. Like a mini dummy. They're the more scary ones. The baby dummies are the most scary ones. Yeah, they are terrifying.

[00:08:16] They're heartbroken. But not an animal though. Try fighting one in a field of tall grass. Exactly! Find us full netherite armor and... Oh my goodness! That's not... Not even. Not even. Any, that's speed three. Strength two. Health boost seven. Oh, Jesus. Resistance 30. Okay. Are we gonna be taking shifts? Sorry. You're meditating.

[00:08:42] We're doing a long rest, which is eight hours, or a short rest, which is 30 minutes to What time is it right now? I don't know. When did we go? I don't remember. Uh, we'll call this... But we'll say that it's getting to be into the evening. It's like six o'clock at night. Then... Well... If we're going back... No! If we're going... You wanna go back to... You can get rest and then come back. Yes.

[00:09:12] Alright. I thought that's what the consensus was initially. Sleep at a great good... Sleep at a great good... No! If we go back there and sleep, we won't need to do shifts or anything. We can all get a proper full rest. Stay and meditate. What you want about? Still. Alright, then let's head back to the town and rest. Okay. We're gonna find a... For half or eighth? Full. Full. Yeah. So you guys are going back to town for a full rest. Yes. Okay. Alright, so you guys head back to the town.

[00:09:42] Uh, and you... I assume that you're headed to... The Foamy Tankard to get a room? Yeah. Yeah. How much do you think rooms cost? I got it. Hopefully two. I got it. He's back. Yeah, I got it. You winnie. What? You winnie. Okay. Well, you guys arrive at the tavern.

[00:10:13] And, um, Janet greets you as you walk in with the barkeep's name. I was gonna say that's... Yeah. That's normal. Uh huh. Alright. What can I get for you guys? A room. Rooms? Okay. Uh, just the one? Okay, that'll be, uh, we'll call that a gold piece for the night. You want your... You got it. You got it.

[00:10:43] You got it. If there was anything more about it. Sure. Okay. Uh, she takes your gold piece and bites the corner of it. Verifies that it's real. And then, uh, hands you a key. It says up the stairs, third door on the left. Okay. Onwards. Onwards, yes. Yep. Okay. Yeah, like it's an adventure. Yep. Just to get to the room. Yep.

[00:11:12] I guess we'll walk up there then. Okay, so you just... I guess you're making this like it's a whole escapade. Give me a damn couch. You don't catch. Just say we get up there and get in the room. Not... Okay, now we gotta travel to the room guys. Lock up the stairs. We're going. Going. Going. You're a heckle. You're like a purple middle. Okay.

[00:11:41] So, so you guys are just bedding down for the night. Yep. Yes. Okay. Tying, tying Onyx to the bed. Why are you tying him to the bed? Why? No, you know what? What happens behind doors in your... Don't even... No! No! No! No! No, just hang down so you don't move. Why would I move? I'm sleeping on the couch. Why would I move?

[00:12:11] There's no couch. There's one bed. You guys got one room. I'm on the floor! Why would I move? I'll take the bed, you guys take the floor. I'm sleeping on the corner of the bed. Just... I'm kicking you off. You reach. Yeah, I can. It's a big big big. You're like a doll now. Okay. You guys fight over the bed. I'm just going on the floor. I'm gonna push him off onto the floor. Find a carpet. The entry mat. Alright.

[00:12:41] Okay. Alright. Well then, you guys have to go. Sleep for the night. It passes uneventfully. So you're back at full health. You've got all of your spell slots back. Give me my pencil. I'm gonna go get the pencil. Go get your own. No. No. Just no. No. Maybe. Not a little. I don't even own a pencil. See?

[00:13:12] I don't even own a pencil. I don't own a pencil. I'm gonna tell you a secret. I've actually never seen that movie. Okay, turn around. Take one step. Half a step. Turn to your left. Okay. That's your right. I'm gonna put it on a little furry alien, dude. Yeah, I guess. On the top of the shelf. I don't think it really meant to make that much sense, but... You're blind. Oh my god, he's blind. I think he... Look what Poppy has. He doesn't have his glasses on. He used Bucky with all of the pencils. These are pen...

[00:13:43] You can't erase that. A few hours later. Okay, so how is your guys' sleep on the floor? Pretty comfy. I'm used to it. Oh, okay. We need to sleep on the grass, the moss. Yes. Can you go boulder? We guys go? Yes. Okay. We should go back to the graveyard. Or the cemetery. Yeah, I was gonna say one cemetery, not graveyard. I mean, it is.

[00:14:16] Are neither of you hungry right now? No. No? No. I'm starving. Yeah, no. Yeah, I'm having breakfast. We're starving. Okay, so he wants breakfast, so... That means you. If you want breakfast, you gotta speak up. I said... I don't need this. So what do you want for breakfast? Oh... Oh, my dear kids. Egg.

[00:14:45] Okay. Yeah. Just an egg. Yep. That'll be one, bro. Or one copper. We're cool. Okay. Arceus, go find breakfast. Go find breakfast. We're upstairs in a hotel of a tavern. We can just go downstairs. Yeah, go find breakfast. We can just go downstairs. I'm gonna go get myself breakfast. I'm going. I don't know. I need something to eat. I'm going. Okay. You didn't want breakfast. You said no. You're greeted by Janet in the tavern main hall. Hello.

[00:15:15] Hello. Socially awkward. Hi, and you sleep well. Good night. And he's the people person, guys. Wait, you made me a beautiful person. I didn't wake you up. You made me a beautiful person. You didn't make Kobe yet. Okay, can I speak for him? No. You didn't even go with us. I did so! No, you didn't. You said you weren't hungry, so we decided to go and get breakfast. You decided to stay. You didn't say you were going with us. I literally said I was going with you. Hey, that's all right.

[00:15:44] I said I wasn't hungry, but I was going with you. Alright then. Okay, then. Hi. How are you? Well, I'm well. No? That's a good morning. You want to say anything? No. He would like to buy breakfast. Is that true? I would like to get some breakfast, yeah. Okay. We're moving. Silver piece each. Alright. We're getting there. We're moving. Just grab a table and I'll send Tina to bring you food.

[00:16:14] TINA! How many breakfasts? What? How many breakfasts? Uh, just two. Breakfast! Within like a minute, Tina comes rolling out of the kitchen. She looks like she hasn't slept. Oh! She's uh... Thanks. Um, but she's got two big steaming plates of bacon, egg, sausage. Don't touch.

[00:16:45] Don't touch. Don't touch. BAM! Puts them down on the table and then like timidly asks, so... You guys found my sister? That's who that is. That's what I said! I forgot about that. That's fine. We're all in the case. We think we have a lead. Oh. Okay. I could disappear. Okay. It's the stealthiest one! She's uh... She seems pretty disappointed.

[00:17:14] Very confused why you guys are here. I said we'll sleep in the graveyard to avoid this. That's the best. You never said to avoid this. You just said... That's the obvious reason to avoid this. But she heads back to the kitchen and continues her work. Uh... Now I have to do it fast. Janet comes and picks up the silver from you guys. Hi then. Okay. Thank you. Okay. We'll be out. Um... So you guys have your meal.

[00:17:44] It is filling and delicious and you know, very uh... Very standard fare for taverns. Um... But uh... Ethan looks fucking sick. Oh great. Oh my god. Like sick. Great. And you see on Ethan's arm she's actually uh... She's bandaged her arm up and tried not to show anybody. Come on just heal her. I have to heal her. Come on. Why did you do it? I'm gonna take a while. Where were you? You could've healed them.

[00:18:13] Let me take a wild guess. I'll take a wild guess. They didn't show you. I'm gonna hang you. You should've just been on the tail. You're the pizza person. Fireman. Neither of you have that. Neither of you have that. Fine. Michael. Michael. Crossbow. Yours is produced flame sparrow. Not fireball. Oh dammit. I was gonna... We've gone over this multiple times. Done your way. Alright then. I guess... Ethan are you alright? She's... Yeah. I'm totally...

[00:18:43] Totally fine. They're fine. They're fine. Sparrow stay with me. They're fine. I'll be fine guys. Let's go do this. This thing. Do you remember what that thing is Ethan? Uh... Yeah. Kids. Missing... Missing kids. I think I... Just give me one... And then she turns and she throws up on the floor. Oh, great.

[00:19:12] Ethan will not be able to fight. Not a chance. We could just leave them in a corner somewhere and come back to them. When she throws up on the floor, Janet sees that from across the bar and she comes to check on you guys. Is your friend okay? She doesn't look so good. We have no idea. When's the first time we're seeing you? We don't... I have no idea. You don't look at that. Okay, well, um...

[00:19:37] If you guys want, you can pay me three gold and your friend can stay here for the next day or two while you guys are out doing your investigating. And I'll have the herbalist come and check in on her a few times. Okay, he'll pay because he didn't notice it. He didn't notice it. No, I picked three gold because there's three of you. Oh! Honey, he has a gold on him. Okay, he's...

[00:20:07] Can you do the dishes in the bathroom? No, no, no. I can fork two of them if you want to fork one of the last one. You don't? I spent all my money on the room. And breakfast. And breakfast, because I'm hungry. We each forked a silver. One for each of us. Yeah, one for us. No, one for each of us. For a deal? No, you didn't eat. You didn't... No, I didn't eat. Exactly, so each of us only had one. So it was one silver for you and one silver for you. Exactly! I paid one for myself.

[00:20:37] I'm gonna go four after that. I got a lot. I only take one off, I'm good. I got the other two. So, okay, I have one gold now. Shuffle nine. Shuffle nine. Alright then, I guess we'll... I guess we'll go back to go looking. Okay. Alright, so you guys make your way to the...

[00:21:06] Janet, you know, assures you that she'll make sure that Ian... Ethan is well taken care of. And you guys head off back towards the cemetery. You arrive, the gate's still wide open. Okay, you can still see the handful of zombies. Oh Jesus. Zombie corpses. Beaten more dead corpses. Over in the field over there. There's a nasty smell wafting from over there. Thank you. Arceus!

[00:21:36] Alright, uh... We are going to, um... We're going to the crypt. Yeah, it's a crypt. Short-term memory loss. Alright, so you guys start across the field and you see a stone mausoleum in the back. With, uh...it looks like a large, um, iron reinforced door. No windows. Break it all over. Break it. Kick it. What am I doing? Break it, Rick.

[00:22:06] You got it even more wrong than before. I'm a boulder, not a break. Alright, rock. Break it open. My name isn't Dwayne either. Mountain. You got a tree on your back? Pebble. Break it. I guess we'll just...can I check to see if it's unlocked or open? I was going to say, we just see...like... None of us is even going to see. Sorry, you're going to what? I'm going to try to open it. Attempt to open it. Is there...we haven't even checked to see if there's like a handle or anything.

[00:22:36] You didn't say there was a handle. I'm going to open it. It's a door. Okay, you...okay, you said... A self-respecting door has a handle. Mmmmm... Okay, go open it. It could be a push door. They're more common than... Give me a push door. I said open. I never said pull it. I'm just saying it could be a push door. I'm going to attempt...bo. It wouldn't have a handle. I'm going to attempt...bo. Okay, just go try it. How many times do I open it? It opens. Perfect. You didn't have to break it open. Great. This reinforced... We don't need damage anymore. The door just opens. Yep.

[00:23:05] Definitely not foreboding any form of disaster. Wait, you want to go first? Sure. We're not going to be able to see. Alright. As you open the door, it's cavernously dark in there. There is no light whatsoever. Can I produce flame? Yeah. Is that a candle? Yes. I know that. And when you produce flame to make a flame in your hand, it casts light like a torch,

[00:23:34] and it lasts for 10 minutes. Okay, produce flame. Good game. Torches are much better than torches are an hour, aren't they? Do we have a stick nearby? Yeah, but she can cast it infinite times of day. I know, you're saying, aren't torches an hour? Do we have a stick like an hour? I don't think any of us grabbed a stick. Of course. I believe you all have an adventurer's pack. I have a stick right here. Yeah. Stick right here. Remember the backpacks you didn't want to separate from when you were dealing with Yup. When we were getting robbed.

[00:24:03] When you guys were getting robbed. Okay, let's go. I guess I have a stick thing. Do you want to use your stick? No. You can use your stick. We'll stick to produce time. Okay. After you. Okay. Yeah. You're not going to get out of the air out of them. Yeah, you're going to step in. You're going to step in? Great. You take a step into the room. Good job.

[00:24:33] And the light from her flames don't seem to go as far as you would think they would. Backpacks. Oh! The fact is that she's not in the front making it easier for all of us. Okay. Front. I will go first. The smell is gank and depressive. The air feels very heavy. Very dusty in here. It's not me.

[00:25:02] Everybody give me perception tests. 17. Oh no, what is that? I've done the math in a while. Give me a second. Oh, is it plus 10? Uh, proficiency and the... 21. Yeah. Perception plus one. 21! 9. No! 8 plus 1.

[00:25:29] You're proficient, so you get a whole 11. 11. Uh, Sparrow, you find in a brass hanger on the wall that it's actually a scant for a torn knee. Oh, perfect. Just touches it. Okay. Uh, touch... With your... With your flames? Yeah, with the flames. Okay. Alright, and uh, torch lights. Touch. You've got a nice little pool of light in here. You can actually see there's a couple of uh, of stone... stone gears... stone caskets.

[00:25:59] Um, no. From... Open. Open says me! Open says me! No, we do not disrespect the dude. Yes we do. We are taking the best ring. We... No, we're giving it back. And there might be... Without selling it! There might be a secret set of stairs. Yeah, just like that half charred beard you got.

[00:26:47] Oh! I'm gonna come with you. Okay, I was gonna say. You're gonna take like 20 feet in front. Okay. Okay. 20 feet in front. Okay, yeah. Okay. I just wanna know what's like the... I'll take the torsion. You can just wander out that way. Start leaning away again. Wander out that way. You see a little waddle. Can you? Don't waddle! Little stubby legs. Do do do do do do do. I'm tall! You're tall. I'm taller than you. Your legs are stubby. Can I see a sperm on it? Oh yeah. Oh.

[00:27:17] I just need to see you. I'm taller. Doesn't mean your legs are longer. Yes they are! They're doing a stubble. So my torso is like... Mmmmmmmmm. Okay. Sounds accurate. So what are you guys doing? Are we going further? Didn't we just say that? Well, we can't see if there's further. But we're gonna see if like... If it's a 4x4. I thought I just took a torch. Yes. But we need to go.

[00:27:46] I thought we just said... No, you and we didn't go. Oh great! So I was getting shooed off. Thanks! No, Arceus. We went with him. We went with him. Oh okay. I guess we can with you. We're just seeing if it's like a 4x4 and we're like stuck in the shrimp or if it leads to like secret passage. We went into a different room? I thought we were just going in! Yes! Elaborate! There's no other room! Okay. Alright. Hold on. We come through the door and we can't see prison.

[00:28:16] Shhhhhhhhhh. Oh he got the marker. Okay. So... I lost like a 5x6. What? A 6x5. Did you see the exit? Okay. I just said nice. You guys came in through here. Yeah.

[00:28:42] And then you have seen that there is a... Um... Okay. And this is where you got the torch from. Okay. So we have no idea. So we have like a pool of light that basically came around you here. And now you have a torch so you can kind of see here.

[00:29:11] And it looks like there's probably... The corner of one. Another coffin there. Only one. Probably another one here. True. But you can't see any further into the room. Alright. You go wander that way. Yeah. You go... You two go together and I'll search the coffins. No! For secret passages. I'm going to watch you. I'm going to watch you. I'm going to watch you. When we come... We'll see if she has 12 more fingers. Maybe some toes in there too. I don't know. Toes are gross. Okay.

[00:29:41] Give me a nose. Yucky. I'll get some teeth for... Yucky. I'll get some teeth for... Ethan. Let's not worry about Ethan right now. Yeah, we'll make him feel better. Okay. So... What are you guys doing? Are you exploring the entirety of the room? I'm not going to shoot off again. Yes. Oh great. Okay. Is there another torch? I'll go look at the... Can you see if there's another torch around here? There is. Oh! Can you light me a torch?

[00:30:10] Then you can take it. Why would I take it? I can produce flame. I'm going to take it. He's got nothing. No. No. No. No. No. No. You mean no. I'm going to floor it by myself. You mean no. I'm going to floor it by myself. No. I light the torch and give it to us. I'm going here. I'm going here. Okay. I guess I'm gonna... We're gonna go that way. We're gonna go that way. We're gonna go that way. I'm there.

[00:30:48] So... No clue. Man. Steve! You got a lot of coffins. Could you imagine... Could you imagine one of the children in the coffin? Oh my god. Huh? Could you guys imagine one of the children is in the coffin? Shush. Shush. I'm a paladin. Imagine... I'm a paladin. Yeah, kill the dead. Resurrect. Yeah. Steve could be in here. I'm not a necromancer. Steve could be in here then. Okay. Uh, so... It's not too soon anymore.

[00:31:18] I don't care, bro. I don't care, bro. As you guys progress further up to the room, you actually find torch stands there. They're basically like a coat rack that has a torch at the top. Can I light them up? Yeah. Pew. Pew. Pew. So once you have the... Once you have them lit, you notice that the room is actually all white marble. It is a beautiful room. In the corner there are well... They're dead.

[00:31:45] Very nicely carved pillars that have like mythical animals. No. One of them is a... One of them is a griffin, another one is a gargoyle. A rake's horn. I'm about to throw a brick at them. And by brick I mean you. I'm not a brick! I'm about to throw a brick at you if you steal. At the far end of me. By a brick you call a brick my finger. If I'm a boulder collective then... Larger.

[00:32:15] Your finger is on it. Okay, we should go check the larger caskets. Why? I checked the one on the left. You can check the one on the right. Obviously this building is... Obviously this building is here for a reason. So we should check. Yeah. I go check the one on the left. You check the one on the right. I'm already on the left anyways. Okay. That way. Because of my... Like excessive tapping. I'm already on this side. I'm checking the left. While slowly drawing on the board.

[00:32:45] Nah. I can't... If I did that anyways, my apologies. It's a pet song. It erases. Yes, I get that. But still... Let's see. Not me! Okay. So you guys are in this mausoleum. You see that it's all nicely carved marble. The two at the far end are much more nicely covered than the others. They actually have like a relief imprint of what looks like a person.

[00:33:14] The one on the right is a man. The one on the left is a woman. You robbed a woman? I never said I was robbing anyone. But the carving in it is just... Is pristine. Like you can see the folds in the cloth of her clothing. Um... For the uh... For the male there, it's a carved uh... No. It's a carved relief of a man in armor with a shield on his chest. So what are you guys doing?

[00:33:43] Wait, we opened it? No. Okay, let's open it. Yes sir. Opening the coffins. Uh huh. Oh goodness. I... I'm gonna draw my sword and shield. I'm not touching that one then because of the way one, the way... Two, how willing you are to do it. I'm gonna throw something. I'm gonna throw a brick. Here, take my finger. Okay, I open the boys one first. Okay. The boy, yes. To me a boy. Alright, I'm gonna need a strength check.

[00:34:15] Critical miss. Fourteen. Is that a friend? Yes. Plus your strength bonus. Nothing. I need the pebble to go open. I'm not a... Okay, so you uh... You give it a shove. It doesn't budge. Pebble! You brace it a little harder. You really put your shoulders into it and you throw it as hard as you can. It does not. Pebble! Pebble Anarchia!

[00:34:45] I don't know of a nickname for you either. I ain't touching. That's grave. I can't open it on my own though. So I need... Sure alright. If you would like to be a little kinder, I might consider even listening to you. Pebble, can you please open it? Pebble, can you please open it? To gather upon our quest.

[00:35:15] The caster's here? We have all four. Three? Of our hosts. You guys are gonna try to open it together then? All of us, yeah. No, I ain't. I'm not touching it. I'm going to forcefully use hypnosis to make clear. Do you have a roll of a switch? Produce quick! Nat 23. What? We did nat 23 to produce. That's pretty great. Why? I mean I did just get that. Natural 50.

[00:35:45] Okay, well if you guys are working together to open it, you can each roll a strength roll separately or one of you can give the other one advantage. Give her the advantage. She's never been boosted. I don't have the boost. That's what I'm saying. Who has the boost? Of what? What? Of strength. You have the strength boost. Of what? Of what? So do you? Of what? Nevermind. Okay, fine. Okay. They're all rolling to help him?

[00:36:14] Uh, well it depends. Are you rolling your own roll or are you giving him advantage? Advantage. Okay, then he just rolls twice. Oh, okay. Yeah. One. That's a 17 or fucking second. 21. Yeah! 21 will do it. Okay, so you give it, uh, you put your back into it. You really brace yourself. Oh, come on! Give it a solid push. I'll just drop it before we get to see what's in it just because of that. I'll be back.

[00:36:43] No, no, no, no, no, no. You're a crack and a piss. Oh! So I'm gonna need both of you to give me, um, constitution saving throws. Constitution. I knew it! I'll take that. What? What'd you get? You get a nat 20. That's... What? Is that plus or anything? Your constitution bonus. Plus your constitution bonus. Yeah. Nothing. So, nat 20. Okay.

[00:37:13] Dirty 20. Nice! Okay. So you manage to step back and, uh, and, and not take a face full of this, uh, rancid dust from decaying body. Oh. Um, you also manage to, but the smell does waft and hit all three of you. And I'm bad there. You're all gonna be nauseated for the next hour. Oh! So what? We have this advantage? What? You weren't even there. Thanks for convincing me to do this. No problem!

[00:37:43] Man, it's like when they drank beer. After you steal that for a bit. Yeah, but now it's to both of us too. It's not just the two of them. I mean, it's not just the two of them. I mean, it's just the, uh, the gas and dust kind of dissipates. Yeah. And while you feel dizzy, you do know, uh, you do see that, uh, he did manage to get it open about eight inches. Good job. Way to go. Don't lie to me. Way to go, Pubble! This is a horrible idea. I know! Six foot long, three foot wide, almost a foot thick stone slab. Like...

[00:38:13] Good job, Pubble! So I'm very strong. Good job! Good job, Pubble! You didn't move it! You didn't move it! I looked it with my mind. Whoa! So you thought, you thought about moving it. No, I did move it. You thought about... She thought about moving it, but didn't move it. I did. I did with my mind. Okay. So yeah, you thought about moving it. No, I... You used your mind, you thought about moving it. No. Yes. No. Alright, okay. So, what are you guys doing? I'm going to hear anything. We heard a hiss. What the hell was that? Can I like, like...

[00:38:43] It was gas escaping. Oh, I thought it was something else. Can I, can I look into it? Yeah. Yeah, I thought it was something else. A snake. A snake comes out of it. Yeah. A corpse. What is that? No! Not a chance! I helped you, you don't get to do it. Is it a person or like... Is it? Huh? Is it a guy? It looks like his clothing is like really fine velvet. Are you talking about what race he is? Yeah. Didn't ask that specifically, not... He was a human.

[00:39:12] It was a person. Yeah. It was a guy. It was a guy. He's wearing nice velvet, guys. No! We need money. We kind of spent it on your guys' righties. I'm gonna slap you. And put Ethan in a room? Um, the body is under like... Give Ethan a room? ...heavy decay. There is not really much noticeable about his uh... Uh, features anymore. Don't touch the female one. The skin is like... We will die. I'm like a zombie. He's been a zombie for a long time.

[00:39:42] Oh, he's alive? No, no, no. Just... Just trying to put it in perspective of what his uh... The state of his skin looks like. Does he have anything valuable? No. And it's really like... So far as you can... Well, I mean, there's a... You're gonna go touch the cane body. Hey, hey, Arcus! Arcus! What? He has a shield. No. He already has a better shield. You don't know that. Yes. You don't know that. Yes. He has a shield on his chest and that covers most of his uh... Most of his body. So we... I'm gonna put you in a grapple. To the floor.

[00:40:11] But I can't really see much other than that. To the floor. Except for his shoulders, which appear to be clothed in velvet. And down near his feet. Also clothed in fine velvet. Cause it's fine velvet. I'm gonna put you in a grapple. It's not just velvet. It's fine velvet. I'm gonna put you in a grapple. I'm gonna put you in a grapple. I will step on you. You will be put to the floor. Okay, you guys just spent like most of our money on... Right. I don't care. We gotta... We gotta... We're not Robin's race. Don't you know what disrespectful that is? We will go... I will come back to this, but we will go to the girls' coffin. I said don't. We will...

[00:40:41] We're already... I'm not helping you. If we're gonna try to open it, then we got disadvantaged. So if we try to help each other, we just got a neutral role. I'm not helping you. I ain't helping anyone. I'm not helping you. I'm gonna still try. I'm not doing it. Oh, come on! That could be weird. The buildings are for a reason. The big taskets are there for a reason. To keep people. To hold important people. Yes. To make sure they have a safe place to stay. That's why you're not going in there. Can I try anything? To make a safe place they can stay for the rest. You can try. You got a disadvantage. Roll the disadvantage.

[00:41:10] So you take the lower one. Good job. Well, I'm gonna find us in there and you guys are being lower. We're not robbing graves. Not even that! I just don't want to start a fight when we're disoriented and nauseous. I already make horrible rolls. Yeah! Listen to him! Listen to him! This disadvantage will not help no matter what. I'll get a negative two. I'll get a negative two. Three, excellent! I said negative two, not two.

[00:41:40] And for me... You gotta roll again. If you get anything less, then you're taking that. Ten! You take the lower one as disadvantage. You take the three. Can I open it? No! Not a chance! Can I try again? Even with your better roll, it would've been a no. Try again. Nope. No! Oh, come on! I'm not doing it. I ain't doing nothing this time. Please? No. I'm not touching that grave. Please? I probably got cursed from it too. I'll buy the next room if you guys open it. No!

[00:42:08] Okay, then I would like to steal the guy's armor. No! Can I put them in the building? That ain't armor, that's clothing. No, he's gonna... Can I put them in a gravel? That's not armor! It's an inch gap. It's about this large. Yeah, I can... You're gonna try to, uh... The shield will not fit. Okay. Um... Calix... And as you touch the clothing, it immediately tears. Dammit!

[00:42:33] His body is so old and decayed, the clothing is only still intact because it's been a sealed environment. Calix... No! No! All of my adventures! No! You don't need a... You don't need a souvenir as a finger. You also don't need a... You can get a different souvenir. You also don't need a... You had a souvenir yesterday upstairs! Did she tuck my finger... Did she take a finger around and call me upstairs? Did I take his bloody fingers? Oh yeah! Wait, we went down somewhere? I suppose we can. No, we just walked in. Yeah.

[00:43:02] He was down. Um... So you're gonna use a knife and cut his finger off? Yes. Okay. Alright, you have his finger. You probably don't even need to use a knife. Make sure you mark that down in your inventory. How long has the body been decaying for? Probably didn't even need to use a knife to do that. Some rich guy has a finger. Mark that down. Yeah. I'm not marking anything down. I'm going. You're going? Okay, I'm following. I'm leaving this room. Are you kidding? We can't do that. Splitting the party. Yeah, you could just open the casket. The only reason... I'm not opening nothing. What are you doing?

[00:43:32] There's no reason I should open these. So we came here for nothing? There's no reason I should open these. You guys haven't actually looked for anything in here. So we have to open caskets. You haven't told me what you're doing except that you wanted to open this casket at the end. Why are you looking at me? This is all on you. I mentioned you... The room is covered in dust. Okay. And you zone... Pebble! Pebble, go use your arms as a fan. I'm trying to turn it down. That's not how that works.

[00:44:01] That's not how that works. That's not how that works! Here it is. Here it is. Just what? Swing your hand... I'm doing this to the dust. Weeeeeeeeeee... It all just vanishes. Hold on. Okay, Arceus, I'd like you to give me a, um... Investigation check. Me? Oh. Alright then. Yes, you. Arceus, yes, you. Does it nine? Oh wait, no. Does it 21? No. Yeah. 21 is great. Yeah, yeah.

[00:44:31] Um, you realize that the door had a lock. Oh. You opened it and it wasn't locked. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. What about it? Someone unlocked it from the inside. Yes. Um, you've had someone still there. Yeah. Oh, and they could have tilted. You also, when you first came in, you saw scuff marks in the dust on the floor.

[00:45:03] I'm so glad I've drawn my sword and I've had my sword shield drawn this entire time. I wonder why we're still in. Because we have to look for clothes for the missing children. Yeah, I'm looking and taking this rich guy's velvety, fine velvety finger into the vision. They probably know, they probably know we're here. No! That is it, because we lit up an entire room. We lit up an entire room. They've been wandering in the dark so they can see in the dark. They got dark vision just like this one. Wait, I can see in the dark.

[00:45:33] So you should take an investigation or a perception check just to see if you can see this thing. You are the better. Dark vision! Use it! I don't got it. Can I use my dark vision? Only if it's dark. It's not dark in here. I thought there were some dark spots in the corners. So can we like see him? Is there no dark spot in the corners? Can we see who? Anybody who's still possibly in here. Yeah, you can see him and him. Okay. So it was like, I don't know what's going on. That's not... Is there any footprints to one of the graves?

[00:46:04] Caskey. Roll me an investigation check. I had a 21. Christ. I had a 21. 16. Is that plus 19? Yes! Yes! I got it! Obviously, obviously tracks through the dust that go to one of the coffins. It's not even a fancy one. Oh. Ugh! Well, before we do anything else, I'm taking out my... Do you think a tiny axe doesn't matter?

[00:46:33] You already rolled. You already rolled. Not a chance. Then there's no reason I show up in that. The difficulty was 10. Uh huh. This was stupidly... A stupidly... Stupidly... Easy check. And you guys were just avoiding doing it. I didn't know. I didn't even know we had to. Okay. Good to know. For now on... What?! Why would you fucking look at me like that? Alright. Lesson learned. I mean... Lesson learned. Don't go take some rich guy's elbow and finger.

[00:47:04] Can we open that casket? Suit up, guys. Let's open the casket. Yeah, we're gonna go work for you. I've been ready this entire time. Okay. I'll open the casket, you guys get it. What if it's one of the children? I said get ready. I've never said attack yet. Yeah, because we're listening to her. Can I open the casket? Because we're listening to her. You can certainly try. You're still at a disadvantage. Shouldn't you have your investigation checks been a disadvantage?

[00:47:33] You should have, yes. But you forgot. I remembered. It's fine. You guys would've done it. It was stupidly easy. You guys would've... You should've succeeded. So it's fine. I have a 12 and an 8. So we go with the 8. And you failed to punch the wind of this. Don't call me that and I'm not doing it. Oh, rawr! Can you please do it? That's not me better. If I do it, will you help me? How is it? I have boulder! You can do it. Okay.

[00:48:02] Can you give me an assistance on this one? Yeah. To make it a neutral roll. So you just roll once. Alright, he's gonna assist me. Alright. That's a good one. 12 plus 1 are... 13. 13. 13 to move this stone slab. Are we opening it? I'm afraid not. I thought we were opening it. I thought these were caskets as well. They're stone. They're made of marble. Yes, I get that, but... You have to... The lid is heavy. Okay, fine. I'll do it. It's like 600 pounds. Fine, I'll do it.

[00:48:32] Yeah, you're the strongest one. You help me. I'll help him, I guess. Okay. Give him that. Should I... Not do it then? I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. But at the same time. No.

[00:49:02] Oh, so that's it? This was your efforts. This was like... You guys were working together to do it. Okay. So we didn't have the scrawny little arms help. Yeah, we didn't. Yeah, with those little scrawny little arms, I would have rolled a nat 20 and got it. And that's what it would have happened. Yup. Did you just get... Are you f***ing kidding me? Are you f***ing kidding me? Are you f***ing kidding me? You guys could give me a base intelligence check. At disadvantage. I'll give him the...

[00:49:33] Intelligence? I can do that. Damn it. I can see. I can see. I can read. Wait, can I read? I can read. Intelligence? Are you kidding? Does a 17. Does a 20. I had a 19 on my first one. Does a 20. Does a 20. I got a 17 and then I got a 10. Okay. 20. Just now we got two nat 20s. Look! Look! Okay. You rolled two natural 20s? No, I got the thing plus the bonus. I'll just... You have to... Disadvantage.

[00:50:03] What was your lower number? It was 19. Your lower number was 19. Did you get two 19s? Yeah. Absolute baloney. So 17 and 19. And 10. Anybody who rolled above a 15... You would realize that two children, probably like preteen, maybe teen, you don't know, you've never met them.

[00:50:31] Two young teenagers appear to have been able to open this. Don't look at me. I'm the idiot. I'm the idiot. I thought it was... So it's... Maybe there's a trick to it that you guys haven't found. Guys, look up. Pull it! Now we pry it open. We pry it open. He's loving it. He loved the idea. Damn.

[00:51:00] Can I try to like pull it? It doesn't go anywhere. Now you fall. Just slip on a banana. I'm gonna throw a banana at you. Whoop! Do a cartoon and fall. Back your hands up backwards. You go whoop! Can I look for a button or a switch? That would be an investigation check. At disadvantage. Drink some milk.

[00:51:30] What disadvantage? I got no nausea. So 7 plus whatever your investigation is. Ethan would have had this thing. I can't read. Which is an intelligence skill. I can't read. I can't read. Even before, yeah. We have double-disfinish. Roll 3 and take the low hit. No, roll 2 and minus the investigation. Which is an intelligence skill. It's a 1. No, I'm not for fishing. Negative 1. So then you just get your... 2. Yeah.

[00:51:59] You break your arm. That's not gonna cut it. Damn it! You should do it. Me. Yes. What? See... No! Look! Look around! Use your arms! I'm blind! Don't you remember? We all are! How many have I got? If only you were wearing your wonky glasses. My character don't got wonky glasses. We'll add them. I guess I'll do an investigation check. Actually, I'll make it neutral.

[00:52:29] Make it neutral? Oh, alright. 17. Okay, what's the lower none? I just said I'd make it neutral. Oh yeah. It takes two people to get a 17. It takes two people to get a 17. Okay, so you notice that there's an awful lot of dust kicking around this torch stand. Ooh, ooh. Get a little blood. Just get a little blood.

[00:53:00] Nothing happens. Oh. I don't see all the dust vanish. You're not that good. I'm sorry, you're not. We're still teens. We ain't doing this well. Is it like one of those cool awesome things where you have to pull it down? That'd be awesome. You mean like a cover? You mean like a cover? Like you know how you can see through those bookshelves and one comes out? Like that one. Oh, but there's no- Like the other coat hangers. I get that. Yeah. The coat hanger torches.

[00:53:30] Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'd like to roll an investigation. Is it something you can reach? I'm taller than both of you, yes. Arceus! Arceus! I'm taller than you. Can you help me with this? Sparrow, am I taller than you? I don't know. I will assist you. I don't think I should be my height. I'll assist you. You got neutral. Maybe. Critical myth. Yeah. Critical myth. Critical myth. Okay, your turn.

[00:54:00] The banana. We have to determine what happens. You reached up to grab it and pull the lever down and it snapped off in your hand. Okay, well that's not the thing. Great. The lever. It could have been- He said the lever. He said the lever. Excuse me. Oh, I did say the lever. Excuse me. Yes! Yes! So which one did you try? Which one? We're gonna say the other one. Okay, that's it. Me and the other one. The lever.

[00:54:31] Can I rewire it? He broke the lever. Sparrow! Why? Because. I either have crappy rolls or great rolls. Take one! Then you get a good one! No. Okay. We know. You got this all killed then. Why am I doing good this time? Okay. Cause you're not wearing your wonky glasses. Maybe you shouldn't be. No, you shouldn't. So you wanted me to do bad.

[00:55:01] No, but I wanted you to wear your glasses. So what are you guys gonna do? Okay, one. Who's good at building things? Are you the builder? Yeah, you're the builder of boats. I build boats! I don't build anything! I don't have any types of boats. I sail boats. Actually, I'm not a builder. Afraid not. But... That would be an awesome boat. Could I tape it back together? Well, because of my background, would I be able to do something with the others with Aaron?

[00:55:30] You might. Do you still have those tools? I do still have those tools. Well, you can give me a check with those tools. Help him. But remember we had a secret background. Help him. I don't know what he's doing! He's rolling! I don't know. Okay, fine. Alright. Watch him get out in the middle. So it's a neutral. Yes!

[00:56:03] Seventeen! Seventeen. And is it plus anything? It's proficient. Plus your proficiency. So, nineteen. Yes! Plus your intelligence. Plus intelligence? Nineteen. Negative ten intelligence. I'm not supposed to use this stuff. Okay, so you're not supposed to... Why aren't you verbalizing what you're... Mm-hmm. Uh, so you pull out your little roll of tool kit there. You roll it out. You pull out a small, uh...

[00:56:33] A small crowbar. And a, uh, a set of, uh... What are you doing? Glitter. And a, a vial of what appears to be, uh... Glitter. Some kind of viscous oil. Just... Don't ask. After applying it to the broken stub of the lever, and, uh... And hooking in your, your crowbar, you, after a minute or two, you manage to get the mechanism to, uh, to grind into motion. Yippee!

[00:57:02] And you hear, behind you, the grinding of the, um, lid to that coffin. So just from breaking in. We broke up. Slide over. You don't wanna know. I wanna know. I'm not telling you. Slide over two feet. You don't tell ya? I'm not telling you shit. We're not telling you your backbones. You guys all have your own... Secret backbones. Your own, uh, disappointing backstory. Uh, yeah. Yeah, you do. Really? Yeah.

[00:57:30] We discussed your character's backstory. None of you guys know each other's backstories. When did we talk about mine? We should... When we were doing my character when they weren't screwing around? Yes! That's exactly right! Okay. Oh, I should've been like... Damn it! Uh... I don't... I'm not supposed to be using it though. Well no, you can. You just have to be careful about your application of it. It can affect my role. Oh! Okay, uh, anyway, the, uh, the lid to the coffin has opened.

[00:58:00] And you see... Ta-da! Ta-da! It can have a very bad effect on my role. Oh, what is it? That's what I said. Oh, I forgot. There was something in there. The staircase leading down. I got it! Urgh! Shit! I would like to go first. I guess... Okay, good! Good! Take a torch. I'll drop. I have my sword. Take a torch at disadvantage. See if you can even pick it up. Uh, no, I assume you let it, uh, that you let it disappear once you want. Oh! Yeah, yeah. Kicked it. I would like to go first.

[00:58:30] It's too long. Okay. Yeah. I'll walk down the stairs. What's in your other hand? Nothing. Ohhh! Alright, so I have my sword shield drawn. I've had it drawn the instructions. What do you mean? No, I'm literally just... I'm just asking, what's in your other hand? Where's your staff? It's like... Are you carrying it or is it slung on your back? My back? Okay. I'm looking for something. I already said that...

[00:58:58] I already said after I was done trying the, um... Trying to open it myself, I got my two... Axes ready. You're about to beat it. Axes. I got those out. You're about to hit the monkey. You're about to... No, I need a staff to be the monkey king from Tabs. No, no, no, you're gonna... Tabs? You weren't gonna be the monkey king from Tabs. Oh! Oh! That was messy. Okay, we should push the boulder down the stairs. Arceus? But Reeper is... You can instantly kill him. Yeah, but like...

[00:59:28] Arceus. We should push the boulder down the stairs killing anybody. One? No, I can't do that. You're calling me a boulder. Two. I couldn't call you Pebble. Not a chance in hell. I couldn't call you a Pebble because Pebble wouldn't kill anybody. If you push the boulder down the stairs. Yeah, I mean if you drop it from really high. I was gonna say that's what I thought like the... Yeah, but we're not high on stairs. Like a penny from the top of the Eiffel Tower thing. Also that might kill him. I'm a pallidant. I can't do that. He might take a couple D4s from falling.

[00:59:58] Oh, my neck. Game. Okay. What's down there? You went first. Well, you can see about 10 feet in front of you. I have no... And there are stairs. Dark vision. Not nightly. Dark vision. So you can see that the stairs continue. Oh, just... Um, for a good 40-50 feet. That's a good monkey. The stairs end and there's a floor. Okay. But you can't see past that. Okay. Can you start walking down the stairs? I thought we already started doing that. No.

[01:00:28] I thought you already started doing that. I did, but it's... Keep going. She started BG jumping back. No, I went down a couple stairs and then realized I was like more stairs. So we're gonna keep going. The ceiling is very low. Oh. You guys have to... You fit? You're taller than me, I think. I'm pretty short. You are actually taller than me. I think you're taller than me. I'm taller than him. I'm the human. I'm short. There are also no torched brackets in the wall. Nothing. It is just... I'll punch a hole. Straight down. I'll punch a hole for you to set it.

[01:00:57] You're gonna get a cave within. Nah. Undergrowth. Nah. I would never. Alright. So you continue the hole. Thor just stands up. Yep. He sees outside. Hi. Hi, how are you doing? I'm just gonna do this. Oh no. Oh. This is 50 feet worth of stairs. Yep. 10 feet worth of stairs. Yep. Just as a... No, that doesn't mean this entire... The room is massive. It's just... The stairs. That's an inuit. That's not bad.

[01:01:26] That's not the right use of that word. The stairs are huge. No, the stairs are long. We just don't have enough room. Okay! It goes to the right. And then you... You go down to the bottom of the stairs. Right is correct. Left is right. You see there's a tunnel ahead. Left is correct. Right is wrong. The ceiling is only about 6 feet high so your heads get pretty close to bumping the ceiling but... And... Is left right? What? Left is correct. Left is always correct. Left is wrong. Exactly. Left is right. Left is correct.

[01:01:56] Left is correct. Right is wrong. Can I go to the corner and just like peer over? Sure. Sure. Right here around the corner. You see the around the corner? Omelet splitter. It's another corner. It's another corner. It's another corner. Oh. Another corner. Oh. Thanks a lot Sparrow. So knowing... What? So knowing... Is it another corner? Yes, it's another corner. Knowing Aeron. It's split. It's a banana split. It's a banana split. Okay, left or right people? Knowing Aeron. Left.

[01:02:26] Left will be the way to the bad stuff because left is correct. But left... No, that's not... Yeah, that... That's... Why did I say that? Left will be the... Left will be the wrong way to go because... Okay, Arceus. He'll think we'll think that's right. I mean, he'll think that's right. But what if I knew that you'd know that I knew? But what if I knew you'd know that we knew that we'd know? Okay, Rock, Paper, Scissors. You're left, you're right, go. No, you... I'm left. Okay, you're left. You're right then. Okay, right?

[01:02:55] Rock, Paper, Scissors shoot. Rock, Paper, Scissors shoot. Ah, left we go. We're going left. Okay. I love them through all of that. It's just like, let's put it down to chance. Rock, Paper, Scissors. Who's better? Okay, I'd like to appear around the corner again. Make sure. It's all you just see from the corner. Is that a dead end? I thought I was going to say, is that a dead end? We just over all... Oh, and this is why everyone sees from the corner. A door. Can I appear to be the other ones too?

[01:03:25] And then somebody above. And then somebody above. And then me above the bowl. It's like one, two, three. Nah, I found a way on top of everyone. Yeah, you just climb up everyone. Just like... Standing on you. Mmm. Well, it's a door. Okay, we got two doors, but we're still going left. I wanted to see what was at the other end. I mean, if you want, you could try and Warlock punch that door. I'm not Ganondorf. Okay, we're going left. I'm not Ganondorf. I'm not Ganondorf. Says who?

[01:03:55] Ganondorf isn't a boulder. Not Mercer, it's Ganondorf. Okay, we're gonna go left. I'm saying he's a Gerudo, not a boulder. We're gonna go left. Alright, okay. I'm going to open the door very carefully. I thought that's what the rock, paper, scissors Lord said was. Guys, the door is locked. Okay, large iron padlock on it. Hey, he's got a sword. Padlock. Let's go right. Let's go right first before I try anything. Before you try anything.

[01:04:22] Can I grab the door handle and try and open it? Try and try and just jiggle. Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle. Nothing happens. The lock is facing you. It's a big padlock. It appears that there was an 892 fighter jet. You know what I mean? Yep. So you are trying to drop the door. I unlock it. I unlock it. I unlock it. I unlock it. I unlock it. Oh. The key's stuck.

[01:04:52] That's right. That's right. Marky has move your stuff. No. No. No. No. You said move your stuff. I didn't say. Fair enough. And you're specified where? Not. Move your stuff not onto my stuff. My opponent. I said my stuff. I said my stuff. This is also my stuff. My clothes. That's my stuff. That's not my stuff. You can do that. Sorry.

[01:05:21] She said you. She's chosen you. I thought it was a 6. That's weird. Now that I'm seeing it, it looks like fire. Yeah. But like. He could have. Not some fire guy for Mario. Okay. So you guys open this door. Wait. That door connects to this one. Yes. Yes. It just there wasn't enough space for you to put this there. Yep. Okay. So you guys enter into that room. Oh.

[01:05:51] There is a man sitting on a very large throne. Is he alive? Before you finish, he's alive. With a foot kind of, with a leg kind of just dangling over the arm. Oh. Great spot. And he watches as you enter. I want you guys to give me perception checks. I love this. Act as advantage. Act as advantage. I will not allow cheating. I don't want cheating. Natural 20.

[01:06:21] No way. I got a natural 20 in my room. So don't get anything low. Wait. Six. You got something low. I got to take the six. Seven. Wait. I got to take the six out of my natural 20. Six. Perception. Ten. Ten. I have a nine. Nine. Seven. Nine and ten. Seven, nine and ten. So none of you guys are high enough to see that? Oh. Oh. We just all look up and be the shaman figure.

[01:06:50] You guys are all high enough to see that the man sitting on the, well, for lack of a better word, throne, is very pale. Oh. He's old. He's crippled. He looks to be like, not elderly, though it's hard to put an age on him. Sit. I say you hit him in the wall. He looks to be in great shape. I'm not getting it on the wall. I'm not allowed to hit him. I can't get anything bad to do. I can't get him.

[01:07:18] There's a fireplace in either corner. Is that on the wall? And two torches on the wall. Uh, and he's just sitting in the, in his throne as you walk in and says, oh, you guys reek of grave dust. You won't be any good for eating. Um. Um. A vampire. Does anyone go garlic? You guys still have those sticks on you, right? Hello.

[01:07:47] He rises from his throne. Is he tall? Did you just say hello? Is he tall? And the door slams shut behind you. You didn't have your foot out, really? What? Have your foot out. Have your foot in the door as it's still alive. And he comes crippled. Oh, he cripples just like the other guy. So he is, he is tall, but he's not like giant. Arceus is height. Arceus, talk to him. You both are human height. Yeah, cause height is the most important thing when talking to somebody.

[01:08:17] Yes, oh, you're my, you're, you're also 5'11"? Cool, how are you doing? We, we should be friends. Greetings. No, he also is the people, uh, person. Yeah, but like, oh yes, look, look, we're both 5'11". Let's be friends. Yeah, but like, people feel more. Greetings. I've come in search of some children. No. Oh god. You are trespassing in my home. My apologies. Wait, it's in? And roll initiative. Oh! Arceus! Oh, everybody.

[01:08:46] Wait, does initiative make disadvantage? Yes. Uh, no, you actually don't roll disadvantage on initiative. Is everyone on that? Oh, alright. Nine. Teen! Nine! Teen! Nine! Teen! Is it plus a nine? That's a 19, right? That's a 19. That's a 19. Here, did you add your initiative? To what? Did you add your initiative? Eighteen. Eighteen. Twenty-two.

[01:09:16] Twenty-two! No. Yeah, that's 22 for you. Eighteen. Nine. Eighteen. inhaQue, the hug one. He did one and her leader in睡眠,rap faster! I'm moving less, guys. That's aубли Jesu. When I come down... Get the one! Do軍! Get below high now. Roll hit the low high note. Mm-hmm. Okay.

[01:09:46] Um.. Wait, and all for him too. $04igerly isn't to win. I think it rolls or 받아. Ethan, now you're friendly, really? I try, I try to act, friendly, alright. Hold a mare abusive, as far as sparrow. You're friendly... What? You heard me. No, I did not. I said this is all your fault, Carol. No, this is your guys' fault. Look who wanted to go downstairs first. You wouldn't let me take the stupid... You took his finger anyways. You took his stupid, rich, revelry finger already.

[01:10:16] No, you wouldn't let me look into the other casket. This is your risk. Because of the double-ass oriented, I would rather not have that to roll, like, three times. Unless it gave you, like, a good thing. You don't know. Shut up. You don't know me. It looked like... Big old book. You got 32 muscles on each arm. I just realized something. There's, like, no room.

[01:10:46] There's not Maggie's leg that's... For a battle. There's no room for a one. There's no room for a battle. Two, there's not enough room for you to do anything that you can do that would do anything... Produce flame! Sorry, you can do produce flame. Sorry, you can't do thunder wave. Thunder wave will hit all of us. If I do entangle, are you guys also entangle? Yes. Yes. We'd have to roll to do that, yes? He has Maggie's leg to see you. No! So if I... Not that... But if I use entangle, I'm not entangle, correct? Yes. Unless I'm... Correct.

[01:11:15] Okay. I'll just do that in his hand while you guys try and free yourself. As he whacks you. He kicks you. Your shins go. The shins... I don't remember who was using what pieces. I was using the pillow. What? What? What's that? Oh, is that... Who looks like? Ah! Ah! We met... Tridora. No, that is not what he looks like.

[01:11:58] Tridora. Wait, take his beard. You collect beards. I collect fingers. I was just saying it's more... At least they can regrow beards. That's why I like it. They can regrow fingers? They cannot regrow their fingers. Yeah, they can regrow fingers. Since when have you seen someone who can regrow their fingers? Don't answer that. I actually don't want to know. No. Go cross. Not this one she was using. This is my copy. Don't keep it to you. This is my benefit roller.

[01:12:28] I get plus 30. No? No. Okay. Plus 30. Then what? Then you get minus 2. This one? No. Plus 3. What's the best one? You very nice. No, but I will take that one for now. You're very good growth. Whatever. I don't care who you use. It's just a mark where you're at. I'm a wanzo! Uh, perry. Perry? The plus? Perry! I'll take some perry. Tridora, I think this is the one you were using. It's like you and the bubble.

[01:12:57] Eh, close enough. Yeah, bubble instead of... Or was it the... Or was it this one? Uh, I think it was that one. It was the second one, yeah. What? What? You have way too many characters. What? I think this one was you? Yes. Okay. Okay, everyone fit in the Sony room. Greetings. Greetings, Tramalos. He's a double. We're disoriented. We swing and a miss, and we swing and a miss, and we swing and a miss, and we swing and a hit.

[01:13:27] A swack? Swack. You just say swack? A swack. A swack. Well? Well, I have my... We... I think we're the only ones that have our weapons drawn. Yeah, you haven't done anything. Fireball. You don't have fireball. Produce flame and... Fireball. You don't have fireball. Yeah, dude. I came in with it. You have produce flame. Okay, then he's going to, uh... Because he goes first. He's going to sweep in there. How does he have a higher roll than us?

[01:13:56] Because he rolled a natural 20. Oh! Well, it's a lot of initiative. Hi, Trudor. Hi, Trudor. Baby dog. New whale. And Sparrow. Yes. Yeah. Does a 17 hit you? Is it plus I like... No, it's just... It's your armor class.

[01:14:26] Oh, Jesus Christ. Sparrow. It hit. Uh-huh. Okay. It's a 17. Your armor class is 17. Yes. Equal or higher, it hits. I know. You didn't even... You had to ask if you were to add something. Are you sure you know? I know. Are you sure? Okay. So he backhands you with his claw, slashing you across the face for not to last again. I'm taking his head. What is it? Nine.

[01:14:55] Nine damage with a backhand? Nine damage with a backhand. And then he is going to lunge and bite you. Bite me? Vampire! Bite me? Yep. He's a vampire, right? Put him in a grapple. Yeah, just like he goes... That is a terrible idea. Okay, don't put him in a grapple. No, no, no. Just like he goes... He goes and just grab by the back of his head. Just like... Onyx does a 19 hitter. You know what? No. Yes, it does.

[01:15:25] Wait, don't you have it written down? No, it's not. It's not... I do. You have to hit me. Yeah, natural... But sometimes I like to check and make sure that your ACs haven't changed. They can change. Yes. Yeah, you could not be wearing your armor. You could be... You could have... He could have borrowed his shield. So there's things you can do to change armor. Uh... If only we had taken that one shield from that one gun. So you take six slashing... Sorry, six piercing damage and...

[01:15:54] Cause I'm gonna entangle you. Don't tangle me. Cause then he can't move. Then I can't we! And he's right in front of me! He has better stuff than us. He's been rolling better. He had a natural 20. And five necrotic damage. Woo! You're dead. No, you're dead. No, we have a rest. He has full health. Yeah? You might be dead. I can heal him. Oh! Okay, um... That's it for his turn. Oh, great. And you're up.

[01:16:24] I'm not. Why am I up first? Because you got a better roll. Because you are actually next in the initiative. Oh! Because you got a better roll. Okay, should I entangle you guys? No! Wait, can I just put it like outside of the one? Or does it have to be on the one? It has to be where you can... You have to be able to see where you're putting it. Can I see through the wall? No! Also, the door's closed. Yeah, yeah, I'll go with that. Slam shot, remember? Beat him up. Grab your stick. Start whacking him. My stick turns like nothing.

[01:16:54] Then grab a knife. Then do better. Can I hit him with produced flame and then hit him with my stick? You can do one or the other. Not both. Produced flame. Fire would be more than an undead. Is he undead? He's a vampire. We don't know. That's not undead, that's immortal. He tried to bite you. We don't know if he's a vampire. That's either vampire... Zambie. Or zi... Zambie. They're plans versus Zambies. Oh my god, shut up.

[01:17:22] Guys, should I use him for a moment? No! It's not? No. It's not. He has good rolls and would escape easily. You don't know that. You don't know that. You don't know that. The past three rolls have been perfect. Have they actually? Not 20. 19. I think it was a 17. Yes, for you. He has 17 on you. Okay. A 20 on initiative and a 19 to hit me. It's almost nothing but good. Okay, I'm gonna produce... Hindering us isn't gonna help us any.

[01:17:51] I'm gonna produce flame in the attack count. It's all of us have a disadvantage anyways. Alright, so give me your attack roll. Please. A disadvantage. Is that plus in? Is your spell attack roll. Which is not on that sheet. Of course. Oh. Top right hand corner. Okay. I think it's a 6. Yeah. Hello baby dog. I pay attention. Good for you. Hello baby dog. Oh hey don't. I hate disadvantage. Again, I don't like cheating. But hate disadvantage.

[01:18:20] Hello baby dog. Thanks. 17. Because that's a lower end. First I got it. That will hit. 18 or 11. No, and then I got 11. That will hit. Roll your damage. You got a d4. Or d8. Hit it. That's not what you roll for damage. I have a d8. Oh okay. Do I have a d8. Is it this one? Yeah. This is why you have the cards. I got a dog though. No. No anymore. And the dog will kind of.

[01:18:49] You can't just want to chill. Because I don't actually know. Off the top of my head. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Lick. Description. Ah. Don't leave me. It's a d8. To this one. No. No no no no no no no no no. Hello hello hello. Hello hello hello. You're stuck. You're stuck. I hate it. There you go. Why are you so moving?

[01:19:18] So you manage to. Ah damn it. Hit him in the back. With a bit of your fire. And it does one whole point of damage. Oh fuck. Lick. Shut the fuck up. Man fuck this. Next up is Arceus. Hello. I guess. I'm in the back. I guess time for talking is over. No really. I've been bitten. Why?

[01:19:48] Are you eating my pants? And I was slapped across the face. Alright. Um. I guess. Nice. Disrespect. Will you guys also slap Sparrow? Disrespect. Damn. That wasn't what I was going to do with it. Uh. Alright. Uh. I guess I'll. I have my long sword. I guess I'll swing at him. With a long sword. You're not next to him. Oh. Good job. Give me an acrobatics or athletics check. What? Damn. Um.

[01:20:18] Is he nimble as shit? Or what? No. No. This is the result of failing a perception test. Oh yeah. In case we can try. I get it. I get it. He said acrobatics or athletics? Yep. Whichever one he prefers. I don't care. So whatever one you're proficient in. Take that one. If you're proficient. Neither. Oh great. What are you talking about? You're proficient in athletics. I can see it from here. Athletics. Never mind. Athletics or acrobatics. He said thank you very much. Sorry. I don't know that.

[01:20:49] I guess I'll go athletics. Athletics. Okay. So you get a plus three to your roll. I can't help you bro. I'm moving after. I can't help you. Stop stimming me. This is not something that you would be able to help him with anyway. I guess I'd be able to like, hey look out. Am I at disadvantage? Yes. I'd be like, hey, watch out. There's something. Does a 12 hit? On the floor. A total of 12? A total of 12. It's not for your attack roll. Oh.

[01:21:19] It's for your secret. Because you cover anything. Does a total of 12 save? It does not. You stumble. I mean, it's only cutting your movement down. You stumble over a corpse on the floor. Ah! Oh wait. There's still the thing that you see that we don't. But you do make it. So it was actually in this square here. You are now adjacent. You can in fact attack. But you did stumble over a body. Double disadvantage?

[01:21:49] Against the wall. There is no double disadvantage. Can I one? Would I be able to one them and attack? What? There's a body on the floor? For the ability to watch your steps. Uh. So they don't have this trouble. I mean, you can if you like. Alright then. Well, I mean, Sparrow ain't out here. Sparrow! Onyx! Be ward! There are tripping hazards. Tripping hazards! He stumbled over a corpse on the floor. I guess I'll whack him up. I'll hit him with my sword. Oh, get the arm. Okay.

[01:22:18] Go ahead and roll your attack. I'm going to roll the turn in the room. That turn? I'm normal for disadvantage. Oh, that's right. I didn't see it over there. Alright, I guess I'm taking the 18 because I had a 20. No. Okay. It's a disadvantage. Disadvantage. 18 still good. I also with my attack. He's like, how could you not get a 20? Yeah. So strength, 19. Okay. 19 hit. That will hit. Uh. And it's a D8 for it, right?

[01:22:46] It was actually 21 to hit, but it's fine. When did I disadvantage off? After an hour. And we have only been doing this for a while. For about 30 minutes. 30 minutes left. We got half an hour. This fight will last like 10 minutes. We should have went through the other door. Each turn is like 6 seconds. 6 seconds, right? That's what I'm saying. So it's going to be... 30 or 10 minutes. If it lasts more than 30 seconds, you guys are fucked. Oh! Shit.

[01:23:16] Alright, so it's a D8. Just because you guys have like limited resources, right? Like, you've only got a few spell slots. You just start whacking people. Yeah. And we're locked in the room. And we're locked in the room. So after, even if we kill him... We have to get out. Again, or whatever. We still have to find a way to get out. Oh, that's easy. That's easy. So roll me your damage. That's the easy part. And see it, right? Yes. Watch it be not the easy part. Just because you said that. Plus strength 2. A total of 2. Total of 2. Oh, he's...

[01:23:45] He's gonna... We're gonna... We're gonna death. We're gonna death. I haven't got to move yet. You slash at him with your sword, and it... It does open a cut, but his skin seems particularly tough. It doesn't do as much damage as you thought it would. Why are you so tough? Please tell me. I feel like I should... I'm gonna start talking to him while fighting. Wait, what'd you do? You slashed him? I slashed him, but he's tough. He has tough skin. Slashed him. He got tough skin.

[01:24:14] I'm thinking now. Can I ask him why his skin's so tough? No! No! Oh my god. No, you already wasted your talking bit with telling him about the tripping hazards on the floor, remember? Alright. Alright. You're okay. Violet. No, I'm gonna ask him, the guy. Why is your skin... What type of moisture hazard do you use? You must have that great skin, Richard. Um, yes, I actually do.

[01:24:45] He uses iron bars. Uh, it's all about that self-care. Exactly. He uses iron bars as his bar. So, on it, you're up. Um, okay. My axes are in my hands right now. But, whack, whack, based off of the slashing, not doing as much as we thought, then I'm probably just gonna hit him. Okay. You tend to be doing pretty good with this hunt. Yeah.

[01:25:13] So you're gonna switch from your slashing to bludgeoning damage. Okay. No, I'm just gonna hit him, like, hit him. Yeah, fists are bludgeoning damage. It's like hitting somebody with a baseball bat. Ah, gotcha. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Uh, so give me your attack. Bing! If it's, like, very low, I swear. It's, mmm. It's neither good. Well, that was for your first attack.

[01:25:43] You do, uh, so... I saw that one of them was a two, so it's definitely a three. Okay. Brom, what spot does? You can use your bonus action for a second attack. I'm gonna try to... Two. It's... Okay, wait. Wait, hold up. Fourteen? Yes? No? Maybe so? Oh, wait, no, that I didn't have that yet, so... Eighteen? Eighteen will hit. You're so lucky! Eighteen! Okay, so he's above four.

[01:26:13] Okay, so you take a swing with the first one, but he's at least eighteen. Because I... We got... Tell me about seventeen. No, my friend. Five. Five? Okay. Punch! And I punched him for five, thank you. Falcon, punch! Yeah! Done better than each of you have. I've actually... How much did you do him? One. Do him again? One? Yeah. Yeah, I did five times that. Thanks.

[01:26:39] So you go in with a heavy cross, and he just ducks right under it, but he didn't see your left... No, no, that's the first one. He didn't see your left coming straight up from the uppercut, and you managed to go clock him right in the jaw. Yes, break his jaw. You were expecting it to, like, break his jaw, but he took half a step back, shook his head, and he's coming back at you. Ibrow is back up to his goal. Oh, great, so now he's mad at me. Great. No, that's what you see, that's what you see. You see him back up? Look to you.

[01:27:09] Got a flintlock wood run. Flintlock wood run. He's about to start... Right. And, um... Everybody give me a perception test. Oh, okay. Now we're trying to see this thing again. Whatever it is. I'm about to leave. Ah! After all, twice. Nineteen. Um... Aaron.

[01:27:39] One? Okay, you definitely didn't notice. Okay, um... You are too... It's a critical miss. You are too... But I haven't added my stuff yet. ...into this fight. You just... Yeah. With my add-on stuff, it won't matter. Twenty, twenty, one, twenty, two... Twenty-three. This is plus a niche and it's perception, right? Yes, and if you're a perfectionist, then plus two again. Nine. It's fine. You both got it. It's over ten. Right? Twenty-seven. I can't see anything. Not that big a deal.

[01:28:06] The slash that you left across his arm, you see the skin underneath is completely healed. The burn you left across his neck is gone. Huh? There's the upper... Yeah, the broken jaw, just like... I'm good. Just like... No, no, no. He touches his thumbs. So is he back to full health? He's about to do what Ken does. He's just like this. He's back to full health. He's back. Sorry. Huh? Full health.

[01:28:36] What? No. He's already done. Every turn. We have to do our max on hits in one turn. We're disoriented. We're not getting out of this alive. Five. No. And we can do this within 30 seconds? At least. So... This is why you guys need to finish him quickly. He is out of here. And we... And there's... And we know out of here. In 30 seconds, we're fucked. Then there's something else that is going to get us.

[01:29:05] If he doesn't get us first. I'm not just going to entangle it. Okay. No. So... Sparrow. Yes. Um... 17 hits you, so... Damn. I'm not even asking. Just like... Yeah. 17 hits you. So just wait for the incoming damage. I'm a tanker. Watch me tanker. I'm a whole lot. Damn it. Um... Excuse me. I was speaking. No. She's good for that. She's a good girl. She's a good girl. But I was speaking.

[01:29:35] Screw you speaking. She was saying something. Oh. She had something to say. Yeah. Yeah. Wait your turn. No. Arceus. You wait your turn, Arceus. Exactly. It was my turn. It wasn't. It wasn't your turn. She butted in my turn. Nuh. You put it in her turn. In response to the burn that you gave him, he turns and he stabs you through the thigh with his claw fingers. You take nine points of slashing. Again!

[01:30:05] Where's she at? Where's my pencil? Oh, there it is. How much is she at? Oh, shit. Okay. 18 minus nine. Nine. That's a lot. Are you... And then he turns... Is that what I... Is that what I... Is that number one I think it is? He turns back to you. I'm dead. I'm just saying, is that number one I think it is? I'm dead. And, uh... Oh, shit. Dirty 20's gonna hit, yeah? Uh... Well, this is the end of this campaign.

[01:30:35] It's fun playing. No, no, no. We don't know that yet. I have not yet. I'm gonna punch him for eight... For 16. Nice. I'm gonna hit him with a maximum of eight. I'm gonna hit him with a total of 16. What's my spells? What's my spells? Also. Stay. Tradora, Tradora. Hello, Tradora. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Hello, hello, hello. Uh... Tradora, Tradora. Stay. Stay. Stay.

[01:31:01] Onyx, you're going to take 12 points of damage between his bite and the necrotic damage therein. So, are you dead too? No. If I'm like... Jesus. We're dead. We're fucking kidding me. Oh, lord. Do we have an idea of who he's gonna go for next? You. I can heal. He's not gonna hit me. I'm dead. He's almost dead. You're dead? Where are you? That way.

[01:31:30] Where are you? That way. Um... There. Could I use a hand of heels on her? As soon as... You mean, um... Wait. Let me look. Lay on hands. As soon as I'm up, I'm entangling. Lay on hands. Lay on hands. Lay on hands. Lay on hands. Can I give him guidance? If he's passed out. What do you mean? You're unconscious. If he heals me. Uh... I don't think lay on hands works like that. It's only useful for, like, skill checks. Bruh. I also thought lay on hands would work like that.

[01:32:00] Wait, so she's unconscious. She's not dead. No, because dead would have to be like... She has to fail three death saving throws for you to die. She has to make one death save each turn until she dies. So you're just like... So I should focus on healing you? No, me. Him. Me. You can heal me at my last once. Is it my turn? I mean, I'm pretty sure one of you has a healing potion.

[01:32:31] I thought I... Oh, I thought I used it already. No, I do. I thought I used it already. Heal. I'm pretty sure. Was I given another one? Yeah. I was pretty sure it got replaced. Oh, wait. You have to make a death save. Evan, give me another one? You have to make a save. I don't know. Isn't it her turn to make a save? Right after the guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it saves up. So you make a death save. So just roll a die 20. And what's the lowest? If it's 11 or above, you're good.

[01:33:00] If it's below 11... 30! Okay. So you got one success. So wait. Is it like three success overall or three in a row? Three overall. Okay. It's whichever one you get to three of first. So now you mark down successes one in one box. You just like X or check or whatever. Alright, so it's my turn now. I guess I can do a heal and also an attack. Depends. Are you reaching? That depends on the heal. Lay on hands. You're going to lay on hands.

[01:33:30] That's an adjacent. That's an action. That and also... Should I attack? It's probably better. I should probably attack. If I don't disorient myself enough to get shitty rolls and actually hit him twice... Now, question. When you level up, are you going paladin again? Yeah, my plan is to go paladin. I thought we did that after the zombies. Okay, he's dead.

[01:33:59] I guess I will attack him. You're dead. Okay. Give me your attack roll. I haven't been hit yet. Huh? Oh. Just. Oh. He's not been hit yet. Oh, my bad. Please. Please. 11. 12. 12. Yeah. 12. You don't need to do my math. 12 to hit? Yes. No. Oh, keep in mind, you're flanking.

[01:34:29] Oh, I'm flanking. You actually get to not do it at disadvantage. So what was your first number? 13. So 14. That's not... Yeah. No, it's not 14. If he got a 13 on his first roll, it's 2. It's not just a plus 1. He's proficient. He gets his proficiency bonus. He gets to add plus 16. I thought that was just to hit. It was just the strength modifier. No. It's your... Oh. Then I should have... Okay. 16. It's whatever weapon you're using...

[01:34:58] Oh, my God. If you're proficient with it, you get to add your proficiency bonus. So 16. Good job, Onyx. Okay. Then yes, that will hit. 16 hits. From the unconscious... Onyx. I got slapped in the floor. Onyx. Onyx. Lowest. All right, Pebble. Lowest of 16. That's what we know for now. Hmm? Lowest of 16. Lowest of 16? Okay. Got it. So roll me your damage. Come on, get a big number. I don't think I... I can't even... I bet you can get it as a 9.

[01:35:29] That's a 7. 7. Good. Total of 7? Total of 7. If he heals... I haven't got an attack yet. I need 2 seconds, guys. I bring down my sword. 1, 2... You ready yet? An elephant falls from the ceiling and crushes you to nothing. What a rat! Yes, exactly. That was always that. All right.

[01:35:59] So, Arceus, you're a paladin, yes? Yes. Okay. All right. So you come in with your swing. Um, and... As your sword is about to connect... Just as it's about to connect... There is a brilliant white flash. Harry! Your sword seems to burn with a white, almost holy fire. Roll 2 additional die 8s for this. Yay! Oh! Yes! Yes! 7 again!

[01:36:28] No, you don't add your plus 1. Oh. You're just adding... Okay, so 6 and what? Another 6. Another 6. Two 6s is... 12 more. So, 7 is, uh, 19. Jesus. If we go... If we were to go any longer, she probably would have been... Jesus. Jesus is my best, bud. I dabble up every day. I'm not doing an improvement. I come up, I'm going to go... Just like, hey, bye, how you doing? Yo, what's up, my boy?

[01:36:57] Like, my baby's just like, hey, how you doing? Mmm. Okay. He makes all head shake. You left a nasty wound. Straight across... Like, he turned his back to you to bite Onix. You left it straight from his shoulder to his hip. It is deep, and it seems to have actually burnt his flesh. He's a devil. Alright, Onix, you're up! He's a devil. Onix, you are in fact up. Hit him with a 1-2! Okay. Yes, I'm fine.

[01:37:26] No, I don't have that! I'm just going to punch him again. With the bow, I'm going to punch him twice. Or try to. Attempt to. Okay. What, uh... When you level up, what are you leveling up to? Um... What leveling up? Are you taking... Monk, or are you going fighter? Probably going... Monk. Hmm? Monk. Monk. Are you sure? No, you're making me unsure about that. No, I'm literally just asking. Yes. Okay.

[01:37:56] Is that your other class? Monk. That's pretty good. My other class is very dangerous. To my role. Mine's not. Oh, honey. Mine can affect my entire future. If I use it. Too much. Oh, no, in the wrong... In too much, yes. In the wrong scenarios. If I use it, it would affect my future. Ah, that doesn't probably do it. Is that what she does when she's happy? So it's just... Licks it.

[01:38:26] Licks her nose. Licks her nose. That's what she does. Okay, that's the first one. Does a ten hit the guy? A ten? Yeah. No, a ten will not hit. Okay, that's the first hit. Well, I'm probably not hitting him. What is it? I'm not hitting him. I'm probably breaking my hands. You got a one? Maybe. Ah ha ha. But it's plus four, so I got a five at best. I will strangle you. I think we're both dead.

[01:38:56] Okay. Well, you took your two swings. He missed. He's not underestimating you this time, because... That uppercut was... That uppercut was... Well, it rocked him back a step. Counter. He's hairy. No counter. The president throws counter. However, in that last moment after your second attack, you kind of felt like... It falls from the roof.

[01:39:26] You feel like the world slows down around you for a moment. It's yours. You've expended a key point, and go ahead and make two... Two death savings. Ah! No. Two unarmed strikes. I'm rolling to the max. We're leveling up. We're leveling up. You're... You're a...

[01:39:56] You're a... A fighter. Yes, but... No, I'm not a fighter. A monk. You're a monk. You know... Total of ten? Are you adding your proficiency bonus to these? I thought this was disadvantage too, so I was doing that. Yes, but are you adding your proficiency bonus and your strength score? Or strength bonus? Then my lower number total is eight. Your lower number total is eight.

[01:40:26] Yes. What did you have? Okay. Two. Make your second attack. Eighteen. That'll do. Because I... And then... That left hook is saving my ass. The left hook... The left hook is saving my ass. Is the over good? No, no, no, no, no, no. My right arm is missing. You tried to follow with the same combo as last time. Right cross, which you ducked. You came up with the uppercut. He stepped to the side. You tried to follow through with the left cross.

[01:40:55] He ducked out and you brought your knee straight up into his face. Ah! My knee! So go ahead and give me your damage. Come on. Come on. Bro's hitting him with a constant attack. Five. Total of five? Yes. Okay. Don't even. Don't even. It's good. It's good. Okay. You can see that the wound in his back is trying to close. No. The... No.

[01:41:25] Let's keep it open. The indent in his face from where... Keep wearing on him. The indent in his face from where your knee caved his cheekbone in is trying to pop back out, but it's not healing the way that it was last time. Something is different. Holy. Holy magic. Oh, wait. I'm... Okay. Okay. Alright. So that, uh... God is always... He's up next. He's up next. He's up next. Oh! Good luck. Good luck. He's up.

[01:41:55] If I can dodge... I could take a... Weave! I could take a hit. Shh. 19 is going to hit you, yeah? Another hit on... Fuck. You didn't even kill either. No, I didn't because I was trying to kill his ass. Hey, kill it. He slashes at you with his claws. He kind of spits out of the side of his mouth because he did bite you last time, but

[01:42:19] it appears that the grave dust from before that is running through your veins is very unpleasant for him. Do you want some grave dust with him? Yeah. Yeah, like some dirt. Here, ah. So he's going to hit you for four damage. Either way, that's... Arceus going for the hug. Oh, okay. You're covered in the dust. Going for the hug. And then he's going to turn and lunge at Arceus. Oh, shit! I have a shield. Okay. Parry. And a six is not... Parry. Six. 12.

[01:42:49] He rolled a six, so it's a total of 12. 12 does not hit you, right? Ugh! Six. Okay. Yeah. All right. So he misses you for that. Weave! You are now... Sponkage. Sponkage. So it's just... Hello! Hi-pee! Where's your dude? Right there. On the floor. On the floor. I'm the only one on the floor. Not dead. Just... I'm dead. I'm conscious. I'm dead for like three rounds. Please go ahead and roll your death saving throw.

[01:43:19] I'm bringing my holding back. D20. It's 11. Die 20. 11 or hot. 11. No, that's a die 10. That's a hot. It's all of them. Please. Real point again. Real point again. My holy soul. So that's one. That's one for death. Slash. Um. At least it's... At least Arceus goes before me so I don't have to see if I need to make any. Then we've got up next Arceus. Alright then. I'll go for another long soul slash.

[01:43:47] Your sword is still glowing from the previous... Keep in. Keep in. Keep in. You can go ahead and make another attack. Let's do it. Is it disadvantage because it's glowing? No. It might be advantage. I'm going to help him beyond being unconscious. Does an 18 hit? Without any buffs either. Without any buffs. We said a 16 at minimum hits. Well, 18. Yes! So I get three strikes at the D. Hey. Uh. Because my sword glows.

[01:44:17] Yeah, but like, I didn't think that would be for every attack. It's not for every attack. But go ahead and roll your die 8. Does a 7 hit? 7 total. 7 damage. 7 total. Now I want you to roll me a charisma. A charisma. A charisma. A charisma. A charisma. A charisma. Charisma. Okay. Okay. I got it.

[01:44:46] I do have benefits on it. I have benefits on a charisma. It's that. 9. 9. Plus proficient in this. Oh, 9. Right? Right? It's plus the charisma. And that. 12. Okay. So do you feel like you've got one last push in you? Do you want to add that, to add those 2 die 8 additional damage again?

[01:45:18] Well. If you don't survive this, then you don't survive. They're dead. Yes. But. They're unconscious. I have to go for it. Okay. Okay. All right. So add your 2 die 8s of damage. Just grab it right after your death. 4. 1. 5 extra damage. For the 7. So 12 total damage. Okay. Not bad. Not bad. No, it's. No, it's. No, it's.

[01:45:50] My bad. He takes a step. He's rough shape. His hand hits the wall. He's still on his feet. I'm still not touched. He hasn't touched me yet. Shut up. Don't. Don't give him ideas. And he's. He's coming at you now. You gave him ideas. Exactly. I. He need to hit a 17. To get me. Dude, he hit a 17. Why did you get. Why is. So bad. You're big. I hit a 17. Why is my. I thought. Because I was. He takes a leaf out of Onix's book. And he comes at you with a.

[01:46:20] With a slash across your face. You manage to duck under it. We. What the. You manage to duck under it. But the second one comes up. Out of nowhere. Slashes you right from your chest. Straight up to the. Straight up to your chin. You take. Oh god. 24. Total of nine damage. I have 24. He's giving like the nine damage to everybody. I never took nine. I took. Six. Five. Four. 12. Four.

[01:46:50] I took nine both times. 15. Good for you. 15 health. Oh okay. Wait. You still got. Sparrow I need to. Oh actually I didn't make you roll a death state. Please roll a death state. Fine. I don't want to know what. Wait. That's fine. It's equal or higher. Okay good. It's equal or higher. Good. I need one more. It's equal or higher. That's good. Okay. Now it should be Arceus.

[01:47:19] Okay now it's Arceus. Alright. I don't have my. Don't bring it down to a two intuition area Arceus. Don't bring it down to a two intuition area Arceus. It does not send me out. Sparrow's like convulsing on the ground. That's alright. I've gotten him this low. Pass over. You better not let it. You better not let her do that. I've gotten him this low. I'm not losing now. What is that? What is that? It had a line. 19. Really? What was that?

[01:47:49] Okay there was three. There was two lines there. 18. Okay. What? What do you mean? 19. It's 18. It was 19. It's all. It doesn't matter. Roll your damage. Okay whatever. I'm right. 30, 20. Alright. 9. Yes. 9. Yes. 9 damage. Okay. Please. 10 damage. I got to scream. That's if it kills.

[01:48:21] The glow on your sword has gone out. I know. That's why you don't get it. That's also probably worth it. That's why you're not getting the additional die. That's alright. I know. That 9 is good enough though. That 9 starts healing. Arceus. Or sorry. Onyx. I'm going to need another death save. He's still alive. He's still going? He is still going. Barely. Okay great. I failed once. 2. He's 2 for 2. I'm 1. Hoorah. Alright let's see it. I'm 1 even. Bring it on.

[01:48:51] Don't tell him to do that. Bring it on. Bring it on. Dream on. Dream on. Block. It's the spawn's turn. That's what his name is? Or that's what like he is? A spawn? Yes. He's a type of spawn. Not like. Not like spawn. But a certain species. That's what I mean. A creature spawn. As Jesus touches my shoulder.

[01:49:21] Weave my bro. Weave my brother. Weave. Like you've never weaved before. Wait no. That one probably hits. 19 hits. Yes. 19 hits. Shit. Stop tearing it. Fuck. You fall for exactly the same thing again. He comes at you with a left cross this time. And you duck it down into the right. And that's where he comes up with the right and clocks you. Ah. Right hard. Right across.

[01:49:51] Right across the jaw. You take three. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Bludgeoning damage to the face. Okay. Good. Wait. Does that mean I've got to do another one? Oh no. That's not yet. It's you. Because it's his friend. Yep. So that's. No. Now Sparrow. Roll your. Roll your six. Damage left. Two and two. That was another. No. No. No. No. No.

[01:50:34] No. Zoom and enhance. What? However. You're. You're not. You're not lucid. You are mostly unconscious. You can hear the noise. You can. No. You're not that conscious. Don't have that kind of effort in you. I was going to say you ain't that conscious. That's where you start. Flame. You can't make the words out. You can't do it. But you. You feel something. At the back of your neck. It's warm. It's a finger.

[01:51:04] It's all the fingers you've taken. And it. It just kind of wiggles. Up through your. Up through your head. It's a chipmunk. What? Yeah. What? And it starts licking the side of your face. Okay. And it. You can't. You don't have the strength. You can't open your eyes. But you feel. You feel a. A berry. Pushed into your mouth. Yes. Bursts between your teeth.

[01:51:33] And heals you for. A single. Hit. Good job buddy. Good job buddy. Wait no. That's wrong. Chipmunk power. Alvin. By the way. And the chipmunks. When you level up. You must. Must. Take the good berry spell. Well actually you're a druid. So you have all the spells anyway. But that. I have to. Well.

[01:52:03] No no. I'm not saying druid too like druid's mandatory. But like you. To every spell on their list. It's just what they have prepared. Ah. Because they have to choose what spells they're going to prepare for the day. So. Essentially that is one of your currently prepared spells. Okay. Do I erase these or keep these? Ah. You erase them. Okay. Because you are now conscious at one hit point. Ah. Are you up off the ground? Yes. Probably not. Yeah. I spawn off the ground. You spawned. I never. I just reappeared. Yeah. My.

[01:52:33] I'm never touching the ground. I'm like a centimeter off the ground. All the time. Therefore. You can't take fall damage. That means. Yeah. Well no. Okay. Arceus. That should be you. No. No. It's me now. Arceus. Arceus. Your ground and my ground aren't the same. So when I hit the floor. If I ever. My knees are going to like. My knees are going to like. Yeah. That's true. They're just done if you hit the ground. They're done. That is Arceus up next. All right.

[01:53:03] Kill him. Kill him. Please. Kill him. Let's go again. Okay. Kill him. Kill him. Kill him. Kill him. You didn't kill him. That's a six hit. No. Six total? Yes. You got a five? I got three. Oh my god. Okay. Um. Yeah. Okay. Well then. Please don't do it. I don't want to go long. Do I heal him?

[01:53:33] If you can heal him. Yeah. We're healing more. Call me adult and we'll wake up. We'll be like. Hey what the fuck you calling me? Bevel wake up. She's like. Hey wake up you adult. Hey what the fuck you calling me? So. Onyx. I'm going to need your uh. I'm going to need your death safe. Okay. Fourteen. That's a success. Yeah. Did I save you? I'm going to wait one more time. Depends. Do I. If you hit the team. If he's not dead in the next turn. I don't know how far we are away from whatever disaster he's talking about. Now it is his turn.

[01:54:03] He's going to. Well. I mean. He's actually not aware that you're awake yet. Good. So he's after you. So you aren't up off the ground yet. So that's a good thing. Yeah. I'm just like. Uh. You're 11. I'm sorry. 16 minutes. No. 16 does not hit. Okay. So he misses you with both. You learned from your mistakes. He comes in for the horizontal. You're learning. Harry you dutch it. But you know. You know that his attack is coming with his other hand. And you get your shield up to get in between. He knocks you back against the wall. It hurts.

[01:54:32] But it doesn't cause you any harm. You're learning. Yippee. Sparrow. You are up. Harry. Uh. Grab his leg and trip him. Shh. No no. Just go up to his leg. Just grab it. Keep in mind. Healing word is a bonus action to cast. Get him up. Does it do it to an unconscious? He doesn't know you're. Yeah. Just overall. Any magical healing. Will stop you from being in a death save state.

[01:55:02] I mean I have to. Get him up. I'm on his favorite. But if you get Yuju up. You both are alive. And you both are awake. I would like to use. Um. Can you go back to. What is that word you said? Adult. Adult. Call me adult. Adult or adult. Adult. Okay. D-O-L-T. Like lightning bolt. Just lightning bolt. I would like to use healing word on. Onyx. And it's going to be. Get your ass up you adult. Okay. That mist comes out of your mouth as you whisper these words.

[01:55:30] And you can see the ghost of those letters in the darkness. As it drifts toward. As it drifts toward Onyx. And just gets sucked in through his nose. Flipping nose. Is that where I hear from? By being? In this case yes. Alright. I hear everything. I hear your words. It's a day. Check your card. It should be a die four plus something. Okay. Okay so wait.

[01:55:59] Do I roll what I get healed by or not? No. Creature. I can't read that. The words keep moving. The words keep moving. Harry Potter. It's equal to one die four plus your spellcasting ability modifier. You sure? Really sure? This. Oh great. That's awesome. She's just tired then. It's just a Harry Potter triangle. No she's not. This and then six. What is that? That's two. It's the number on the top. Plus your spellcasting ability modifier which is your wisdom modifier.

[01:56:29] I think it's not. PK. No. Great. No. No she's about to pull up so it's a star star. Get your ass up for six. You both are up. Save me. No. What? I just choose by him or not him. Attack her. Your eyes snap back open with a start. You are on the ground. He's not aware that you're up yet. That you're awake. But you are in far less bad shape than you thought you should be.

[01:56:59] Arceus. Damn. You're up. You should have been on your feet. Alright then. I'm swaying at him again. Oh yeah I should have but like I don't want him knowing I'm there so I just like stay down. Yeah just save your energy. I'll bit slap you for nothing after. 15 will hit. 15 hits. Yeah. So we know it's at least 15. That's so good. It is 15. Okay. Oh perfect. Oh so you got the one. You shouldn't have told us. That's just we're using deductible reasoning. I know. I know. But we're we should be almost there. Six points of damage. What can I do? Did you add? Yes it is.

[01:57:29] Good job. Ah! Ah! I'm just screaming. Does he take a bow back? Okay. Now I gotta do the iron gold. Uh that's Arceus done. Onix you are up. Take a bow. Are you good? No. I've had to survive for three rounds by myself. Get used to that. You were there but you were. You were there but you were just. His chip's so protected.

[01:57:58] You think you have that chip attack. That focus still within you that you can make. Um. Four seconds. That you can make three attacks within this round. By spending said focus. Spending the focus. Okay. Um. So it's your primary attack and then two follow ups from your flurry of blows. Well it's gonna be hitting that. Ohhhhhhhhhh. Fist from everywhere. Okay.

[01:58:30] Um. Probably like. Could I like. Cause I'm not like that disoriented right this second. Could I like sweep his legs? Before I get up? Like. Like. How I am. Could I just like. Put him in a mantle. You would be attacking. Uh. Actually no. Cause you are. Still at disadvantage. Ah. And. When you're prone making a melee attack.

[01:58:59] You're at disadvantage again. So. So double disadvantage. You just can't do it. There is no actual double disadvantage. So it just means you can't do it. Yeah. It's just a hundred percent failure. Oh. Awesome. Nat 20. Um. But standing will cost. Uh. Only cost you half of your. Movement. So. It's not. You're already. In melee. I was gonna say. So I just get up and. Punch him. Crouch.

[01:59:28] Nah play crouch. So wait. I disadvantage on all three? No. He's on the floor. Just put your foot up. Two of them. Disadvantage on all three attacks. Ah. Mmm. That doesn't. That doesn't hit. 15. Need to hit. 13. No. I mean my second number was a 19. Are you putting your. Are you putting your. I'm not doing stupid proficiency stuff. Mmm. Put your proficiencies in it. Then the first one should. 15 to hit. Yeah. I know. But then. You just need 15. Yes.

[01:59:58] Shh. Mmm. 15. No more. Well. That one doesn't. I think that's water reading. 15. I can. I know that. Fireball. Magic. Missile. Magic. Missile. So 15. Real fast. Something more than 15. I think third carry. And then four counter. So I only get one. That's awesome. Oh no. Gun. Oh you get one. Let's do your gun. Are you kidding?

[02:00:28] No I deflected it with my gun. Five. Total of five. Okay. I haven't rolled more than a one on my D8 this. Er my D4 this entire time. But I do a total of five. So that's still better. It's better than nothing. She's up. If I. If I. Have to describe any death. I'm going to do that. Okay. He's up again. Bing. He doesn't know I'm up yet. He's turning to. Well.

[02:00:57] He's going to do one for you and one for Onix. But. If I try and clunk. We'll do yours first. And a 20 is going to hit ya. Darn it. No that's 21. 21. Totally. 32. I'm at 80 damage. Total of five damage. That is the absolute lowest that he can roll.

[02:01:28] He can one shot all of us. Wait how much is Onix at? Six. Load for Dora. Yes you're a good girl. Right. Just chill out. I'm at the 3HP. We have to. Onix. I'm at 3HP. The lowest he can go is 5 damage. I thought you were talking about me. No.

[02:01:58] I'm at. He's swinging at you now. He's attacking you now. Oh the lowest he can do is 5. So I have a chance. Does. On 11 does not hit you. So he takes a swing. And as it's coming in you just bring your wrist up. You deflect it off to the side. He misses you entirely. Rotated. Rotated. Sparrow. Okay I'm going. You are up. This weeksy. This weeksy.

[02:02:26] I just did this and he just went. I had two cantrips so. Well you can cast infinite times. No I mean the. Two level one spells. I'm going to use. No you only have one because you used healing word last turn. Yeah. Thank you. But I'm telling myself I'm going to have two to use. And I'll use one. Who should I heal? Six damage. I'm going to heal. What do you mean Aaron takes your. Three. I'm going to heal Arceus because some reason he won't die.

[02:02:55] For some. Just keep him alive. Just don't say stranger odd reason. Thankfully. Thankfully he has this magical ability not to. I have the power of Jesus on my side. Yeah Paladin. God is on my side. Just start calling me Paladin instead of Arceus just to like. I know it bug you. That won't bug me. Yeah. I'll do like Paladin. So. Okay. Now it's until the second Paladin is in the door. You roll a four?

[02:03:25] Plus four. Hey you Paladin. Hey. So. We want to know a town of Paladins. So. Eight. Arceus. You are healed for eight points. Eight. Woo. Yes. Spockmer. Spockmer. Go over there. Go to the wiener. Eleven. Good on you. Good on you. God comes back to myself. Fluffy dog. Fluffy dog. Fluffy dog. Fluffy dog. Fluffy dog.

[02:03:55] Okay. My turn. Fluffy dog. Well that was your bonus action. That was your bonus. You still have an action. Oh perfect. Smack him with the staff. Is that good? You can even cast produce flame at him. One. Okay. So make your attack. That I hope. And it would be a still attack for us. Actually I'm not going to ask that. Never mind. Hit him with a headshot. Nice. Do do do do. I think we're losing. It's.

[02:04:25] We're not losing. Originally at about 30. It's a 10 to 6. A 1v8. So. Originally. Well you're not going to roll your attack roll first. So no. We were never losing. You went down. We were never losing. It was still a 1v1. That's not losing. If it were a 0v1 we'd be losing. A 1v1 is 6. If it were a 0v1 we'd be losing. A 1v1 is 17. But you are still at disadvantage.

[02:04:55] We have. So. Roll again. You've got to hit the second time. Weave Al. Weave Al. Weave. Weave. Weave. Weave. So I was pulling out the beard. Weave. Weave. Weave. Weave. What is it? Is that a 6 or a 9? Right. No. I'll brush it off. It's a 9. Okay. So 9, 10, 11, 12. And then just go. 15. 15 hits? We should break over the door. Get as we. Just to go down and let them blow it. It's a die 8 there. Because you're not holding your staff.

[02:05:25] Otherwise it would be a die 8 plus 1. Which is why I asked you where your staff went. Oh my god. What was it? What'd you get? I don't know. Plus your attack. Plus your attack. Is that a 9 modifier? And if you have a purpose? No. No. It's produced flame. Oh. Oh. Right. I thought of the... Okay, never mind. I mishearing. I mishearing. Don't mishearing.

[02:05:56] Wait. We got another. Never mind. Alright. Well, you're behind him on the ground still. You produce a flame and you throw it. You manage to hit him right in the back of the knee. It does make him stumble a bit. So I will give... Arceus gets to make his attack not at... Actually, both of them will get to make their attacks not at disadvantage. So... Because basically at this point you guys have him surrounded. Arceus, go ahead and make your attack. Kick him.

[02:06:26] Somebody trip him and kick him all the time. Another long sword attack. Because everybody gets on third. Can I ever get a... You haven't chosen to. You can. Alright, so natural 20. Are you kidding? He's dead. Come on, he's dead. That was a natural 20 to 18. Roll your die eight twice. I can still hit him. Die eight twice. Do I get to add benefit on both? No. No. That's gone. High number. High number. Oh. Not a high number. Do you... That is like way under the couch, man. It's gone forever.

[02:06:58] You're a rebel! Jesus. Scare my old man. My apologies, rebel. I didn't mean art here. Yes. I didn't mean art here. So three, four, four, one. And then the non-bonus on me. 4, 4, 8. Here we go. What the f*** is that? Oh. Bunny on. Bunny on. He stung a bit. You managed to catch him right in the corner of the shoulder with a thrust that goes right free.

[02:07:27] Onyx, you are up. I think he's up. Is that not this enough? I... Eh, he's 15. I don't think my boosts even get me there, buddy. Oh, well, you have your second hand. Yeah, I have my second hand, but like... A 12 doesn't quite hit him. Oh, never mind. I'm at 20 left. All right. So you get to roll your... Uh, so you... Again. Come in with that. You really just want to get that right crossing once. Just once. I just want to hit him once. The same time. You managed to just duck his head straight under it.

[02:07:57] I just got a nat 20. I'm going for a two hit, and I'm missing I hit him again. And then instead... Instead of coming in with the uppercut with your left, you take a step in and you bring up an uppercut with your left knee straight to the groin. Oh! Yes! I feel that. Roll that die forward twice. Oh, seven. And then one without it? Yep. Eleven. See?

[02:08:28] The... You don't... You ain't want to catch these hands. He's actually the knee this time. You don't want... You ain't want to catch these. And that does it. You bring your knee up straight into his groin. You watch his eyes roll into the back of his head. And blood comes out his ears as he collapses to the ground. How more did I do that? Must have gave him an aneurysm.

[02:08:59] Flapses to the floor. You drag your sword out from being embedded in his shoulder. You guys are all... badly beaten. And we're still stuck! Did we get that key for the door? And we're still... There was no key! No, for the other door. Is there another door in here? There was... No! We couldn't go there. The other door is shut. We are trapped. We need to keep for this one. We were on this one. We are trapped. Falcon King. We are trapped. Shut up.

[02:09:29] Okay. Can I take his hand and... No! I can break it. Yes! I don't want to... He slammed me in the face. I'm taking his head. At this point, I don't care. Actually, yeah. He almost killed all of us. Okay, so I want you guys to give me... What kind of check is this going to be? Perception? Perception? Um... Investigation. It's going to be a... You can give me a... Nature or Arcana. Neither am I. They're in the same category. I'm getting it.

[02:09:58] Whatever my roll is, is whatever I get. 17. Wait. Nature or Arcana. 7. 9. 10. 19. Because 17. Yeah, 19. Are you good at Nature or Arcana? So as you approach the head, you kind of peel the lips back and take the words of each other. The incisors on his mouth are elongated and pointed. This is almost... This is most assuredly a vampire spawn. Yeah!

[02:10:28] I know my... I know my faces. With that roll, you would also know that... Swipe it off. Vampire spawn have the ability to regenerate. Which is why he wouldn't die. The idea of taking it... However, might not be a bad... Felt different. Yeah, I'm taking his head and his finger. Yeah, but then what about if it goes from the head... I'm always going to take the pointer finger. Okay, good. Beep. No, take the head. Better idea. Better idea. Take the head. I'm taking both. Good.

[02:10:55] I'm taking finger from my collection and a head because he slapped me in the face. So. Now that we're not dealing with him... Now that we're not dealing with him... It is visceral and disgusting. Disrespect. I was called adult. I don't want to be called adult. Really, really vile and goring. I'm doing it because you've never actually sat down and saw somebody's head off with a knife before. I could have gone as an adult with a knife before. It is gross. Give me a constitution save. Constitution save? What? Did you do?

[02:11:24] She's sawing your head off. Never mind. 18. Is that being an 18? Does 18 work? It's at disadvantage. No! Can I help? Can I help before... Damn it. I tried to say something. It's 18 and an 18. You do it. Plus your constitution bonus. Dan. Dan. And you're not provisioned.

[02:11:54] No. You throw up everywhere. Oh. What? I mean, she was an audience anyways. So are we. I was right side. You feel much more clear headed afterwards. Ah! And your disadvantage has passed. Has there or is gone? Just like... Say no. Not at this time. Huh? There's still probably about another 20-ish minutes left. And we still have a door to go through. Um...

[02:12:22] But you do manage to finally... Take his head? Take his head. Can I also take his finger? Yeah. Okay. I take that. And does he have any valuables? Well, you'd have to give me an investigation check for that. And... 13. That was my plan. 13 plus. Yeah. You'd be doing it in just a minute. So the matter is she doing it. No, no, no, no, no. Where's... Investigation? Investigation should be in... Damn it! Well, uh... You don't find... Nope.

[02:12:52] You don't really find much. His clothes look... Very rich. However... Look... You have to be offered in turn. Your... I'll throw some... All I slash him. There you go. Walk it off, eh? Walk it off, eh? I can't sell his clothes now. You rip them. My bad. You burned his clothes. Huh? Well, a burn is easy to fix. What? Sorry, I burned your flesh. I'll... No, no, no.

[02:13:22] Walk it off. I burned flesh on your leg? Now walk that off. Yeah. Walk that off. I cut it. I cut it. Sadly, his clothing doesn't want to be of much... Burn it and walk it off. Dollar belt. Dollar belt. You can't fix it. God burn nothing. And there is a... Good for nothing. Little son of a... Rapier on his head. Rapier. It's a sword. Ooh! Can I take that? That's a good sword. Can I take the belt, too? Why do you want the belt? How good's your sword?

[02:13:51] I do DA, so it's pretty good. What's a rapier in here? How are you carrying your sword? On my back. Here's a belt, so it's easier. What? It's a longsword. Yes. To be clear, though, a rapier is very similar to a longsword, but it uses your dexterity bonus for attack and damage, not your strength. Is your dexterity higher than your strength? My dexterity is in fact higher. Hey, take this belt. Put it on. Would I take the little rapier with that?

[02:14:20] That's up to her. No, I'm selling a pine net. The rapier? Yeah. Why would you ask him then? No, I'm giving him the belt. The belt would not help at all. The belt doesn't go with your dexterity modifier or your strength modifier. You can, so you're not having to like pull it from your back, you can just... Yeah, just... Yeah. I mean, it's the same amount of like time. It's narrative. I could do it in the same amount of time. Do you want it or not? It's like... Yeah.

[02:14:50] Okay, fine. Do you want it or not? What? The belt? No. Okay, I'm taking it then. Sell it on eBay for a second. I'm taking his sword. Sell it on eBay for a dollar. Stop. And I'm getting... It's five bucks. You are not proficient with that sword, by the way. I'm selling it. I'm pawning you off. Why? I don't even use it. Oh, do you want it? Yeah. Yes! That's what you're saying. Give me your longsword then. I don't care. Sure. Do what you want. Okay. I'm getting straight off her. Was the... The longsword wasn't anything special, was it?

[02:15:18] No, but you were proficient with it. You're not. I'm proficient with this. I'm just pawning it off. Essentially, she's trading him the rapier, and then she's going to sell his old longsword. Yes. Ah, okay. Are you sure you don't want the belt to go with that? No, he doesn't sell the belts. He doesn't sell the belts. I'll take the stupid belts. Okay, there you go. Why do you say the stupid belts is litter zealot? Okay, so you guys are in this room.

[02:15:45] There is the headless corpse of a vampire at your piece. No, I've taken it. It's mine. No, a headless corpse. I thought you said headless, and that's all I heard. I was like, no, that's mine. I'm taking it. Okay. How much damage does the savior just aid as well? Yeah, it's the same damage. Okay. But it just is better. I think it's two now. You get my dexterity better. And when you do your attack hits, you get plus two instead of plus one.

[02:16:14] And RPS, isn't that a bad ass name? The Reaper? Rapier. Rapier. It's R-A-P-I-E-R. Rapier, but that's... Which is better, rapier or longsword? Rapier. Yeah. By my standards, the rapier. I'm going to call it the Reaper, by the way. The Reaper? Yeah. Also, you can watch our people. The Reaper, rapier. Yeah, the Reaper, rapier. It's not safe. Most enough. We're going to call it the Reaper. Okay. You can call it a Reaper. I mean, it's a piercing sword, not a slashing sword, but okay.

[02:16:43] It takes lives, okay? Reaper. There you go. It takes lives. Watch him continue on to not take any lives with it. I'll become a peace negotiator here. Because you're the people person. Yeah. Alright, so you've got the headless corpse of the Empire. I think his fists are... They're very... But the room goes quiet. You have trail rashes. As you kill both of your fists. I was done.

[02:17:14] No, well, I mean, you can try. Nice. Nice. Piercing damage, not slashing. Piercing is going through. I thought you were slashing. Okay, fine. Okay, what are you guys doing? Are we able to get out of here? Can I do an investigation to see if there's a key in here? We should eat him. You want to search the room? No! Give me an investigation. Not a chance. Antisavantage. Not a chance in hell where he came from.

[02:17:43] We've got no food and we need something. Oh, never mind. That's my other campaign. My other campaign, I had a box of Reese's Puffs. So 11 plus wisdom. In the one at school, at my school, I had a box of Reese's Puffs. I was about to say, where... There's a 14. I thought you went to our school first, I know? 14? And I was like, where do you go to D&D? Because we don't have D&D. Behind the chair, there's a door. There's a key. Oh. There's a door. There's a chest. Anarchy. A chest.

[02:18:11] Arceus, you should take his chair. Whoa. There is a sliding door. See door. There's our exit. Door. Watch that one lead to here. I know where it is. You don't know where it is. Arceus. Arceus. Arceus. Watch that one lead to here. You can't see the chest. I can. I did the perception check. Give me your shushu. I wandered over to the chest. You can tell us. You can tell us. I'm trustworthy. No. I don't know about her, but I am.

[02:18:41] Block her. I'm a wander over to the chest. I'll stand in front of her because I'm up older. She won't be able to hear through me. The chest is locked. I've got a great thing. But as you... It's not very large, though. It's probably maybe a little bigger than this briefcase. Okay. As you move it from behind the chair, you definitely hear the clinking of coins within it. Cha-ching. Hey, I can now pay off my debt. What debt? To us.

[02:19:11] You bought paid for Ethan's care. I'll pay you back. Yo. Oh. What? You're going to give me one gold piece? No, you get... He gets two because you paid two. I paid two. One was my part of it and one was his. So he'd be paying me one. Yeah. But the chest is locked. One. No, because of... Because I paid for mine. Nope, because of... I didn't pay. The silver. We each paid a silver. I really feel like I had to peck you. No, I did that. I did that. What's the thing when you don't pay your debt? What's that?

[02:19:41] Would it peck me? Oh, no. You can't do dishonorable things. But this is loot. This isn't. Okay, then I'll pick locket. Okay. Lockpick it. Pick locket. Okay, you can make the attempt. I'm sorry, I... And I get... Lockpick. I get a bonus. You get your... Proficiency plus your dexterity bonus. But also your... Plus four. Even after all this, I still feel like you don't trust us whatsoever. Twelve.

[02:20:11] Even though you've killed us a multitude of times. I still don't feel like you trust us enough. Twelve. Okay. That one was a natural. You fail to get the lock. Your mind won't focus. Your hands won't do it. No, you're not disoriented. You will do it. However, you're sure that if... With enough time and effort, you could probably get it open. Guys, I don't have started out what is in the chest. Just that there was a chest.

[02:20:41] So, I will let you open it later. You cannot open it now. Yeah, yeah. Can I just, like, hobble it with me? Just put it on your... Yeah, you carry it. It's not heavy. Well, I mean, it's heavy, but it's not... I could just carry it in one arm. Yeah, just carry it in one arm. I'll go carry it in. I guess... I'll just set it down for you. I'll just set it down for you. I'll just... I'll check out the door. The sliding door. Okay. You open the sliding door, and behind is essentially a closet. Oh, look. There's some clothing you wanted. Yeah!

[02:21:09] It has a little bit of finery as far as fine clothing goes, but mostly it's his set of armor. Yoink! Can I... You guys got that. I need something better. If it can fit me, I'll take it. If it fits me, I'll take it. He's like this tiny little girl. It fits. It fits. Give you a wobbling. Inside you find a full set of breastplate. Ooh!

[02:21:40] I can work for you. I'd be willing to give it to you. Ooh! Shush. Okay, fine. I'd be willing to give it to you. But we're going upstairs to see what's in the other pocket. And you've been... I'm willing to give it to him. I don't suppose there's a key in here. Um, no. There is not. Are we able to open the door? Yeah, it was shut. The door opened with no difficulty. That door was open for the entire time.

[02:22:10] Alright, then. I guess here you can have the breastplate. You want some clothes? It's a full set of breastplate. Isn't that a type of armor? Yeah. Yeah, I was going to say. Breastplate's a type of armor. Not just a breastplate itself. Yeah, it does have other bits to it. It's not just the breastplate. How do you want clothes? To sell them or something? Yeah. That's where? But there's none. That you want. No, I mean, there's armor. He said there was clothes, but there's mainly what we see as armor. There is some fine clothing in it as well. Exactly.

[02:22:40] Alright, I'm going to wander out of this room. I'm going to take that. But you also made an investigation check in this room. And you see the body of a girl on the floor. The one that you tripped over at the beginning of the fight. A girl. Can I go... How small or whatever is this girl? A child. Looks like she's probably 13. Can I wander over to see if she's breathing? You stepped on her. You tripped over, but it's a corpse, so it's not alive.

[02:23:11] Bring her back. It is an object. There is no sign of life. Can I see if there's any identification? Identification. Yes. That. That. Bring her back. No. There is not. I suppose we can recognize her. We have no idea. We were never given any pictures on what any of the kids that were missing looked like. Yeah, this is a... I'm healer. I'm not... I can't bring... I'm not a necromancer.

[02:23:42] Necromancers make dead people do things for them. Come back to life. Yes, but they don't become human again. They don't become... Exactly. I can't bring somebody back. I was going to say this. But necromancers don't do that either. They just... They bring... They animate bodies. I was going to say... They don't raise animation. We could reanimate for a last grateful moment to make this child go to where they like... That is horrifying. Wait, what are you saying? Like... Your wisdom score is good enough. I'm not...

[02:24:11] I'm not going to let you roll. You know that that would be a horrible thing to do to a parent. What? You're a monster. Why are we with her? I went to the plan of goodbye. To say goodbye, that's going to scar them even more. Why are we with her? I can do that? I can do that. I'll take Ethan to go. I can do it? No, you can't. You don't have the skulls to do it anyway. Down. Sparkle horse whatever and find black ass and go.

[02:24:41] I'll take them and go. Chuck would probably be safer than you waited. So technically you're saying we could still take the body and paint. No! I mean, yes we could. That would probably be better than reanimating it. Why would we reanimate it to begin with? Okay, what are you guys doing? I guess I'll... I'm taking the breastplate. You guys figure out what to do with this child. I'm going to go see about that other...

[02:25:07] Somebody needs to mark on a party loot sheet the stuff that you buy. A party loot sheet. So what? Just like a blank piece of paper? Yeah, you need a blank piece of paper. I don't know where those are here. Gina's. I don't know. You also know. Just one of you get one for me. Please and thank you. There's one right there on that table. Where? Seriously? If it's right around the table, I can grab it. That's right. I highly recommend it to whoever has the neatest writing. Not me! Okay.

[02:25:36] As long as it's not needing to be small, I can write legibly. Okay. You can't read my writing. It's enchantment table. Starts writing symbols instead of words. Just like... No, that says... Why? Why? You really don't want to be... Fedora, do not... Do not sniff the mic. Okay. So you find a vampire spawn chest. Lay down. So that we remember where we got it from. Lay down.

[02:26:03] Let us know. Lay down. He's got the armor. You weren't letting him take it, were you not? Yeah, but you said there was multiple armor. No, there was one set of armor. There was one set of breastplate. And there was some fine clothing. You said clothing. You were talking about clothing anyway, so that's why. Vampire spawn chest. That's... Child. And your breastplate. That's all you really found in here. And child.

[02:26:31] That's not going on the... This expedition's loot list. That is amazing writing. Buddy, I haven't changed it. I screwed up and wrote an I after the V, so I had to makeshift an A, because I forgot this had an eraser on it. I usually makeshift my letters. Ew. I read Blackface letters. At this point, we're going to take a bit of a break after these messages, etc., etc. It's something about being right back. Okay, and we're back.

[02:27:01] So you guys are in the vampire spawns room. You found a chest. You found a breastplate. No. You found a rapier. Okay. What are you guys doing? My plan was to... Put your phone away? Yeah. The plan was to put your phone away? Yes. Get off your phone. R-key us. Yes, you can. R-key us. Three syllables, yes. Mine's two and yours is... Key us. They are. Key us. Let's go. Alright.

[02:27:30] My plan was to go out and try... I failed to unlock the door in the hall tonight. No, you failed to open the chest. Okay, then my plan was to go out and unlock the door. No, you slid the door open. No, that was for the closet. Out here. You made the one out in the hallway. Nevermind. I thought it was just a lock in the hall. Okay. So you're going to try to pick that lock? No, it didn't have a lock yet. Okay, go ahead and make your roll.

[02:27:57] And since there's nothing else that's hurting us in this room, I just have it in my arm. The chest. I just have the chest in my arm right now. Yeah. I have the head in my bed. At least it's better so he doesn't regenerate and try to kill us again. The only time it's good I'd be to take somebody's limb or something. You attempt to pick the lock. It does not give. It seems like this lock is a little bit more tough than you were expecting. But you do hear a crying on the other side of the door. Okay.

[02:28:27] I'm sorry. Can I try to lock it? I'm not blaming anyone. I just don't want to fight anything else right now. You don't have the tools for it or the proficiency. Can we try again but we've helped him? No. No. We don't know what we're doing so we can't help him. And if I wasn't. We can't help him because we don't know what we're doing. If you guys did help me, I had a 19-month withdrawal. Huh? And that didn't work? Oh no. Disadvantaged. I'm nausea. Nauseous.

[02:28:56] Nausea is what you have. You are nauseous. I have nausea. Sorry. I heard you said I have nausea. We're nauseated. But it is just a wooden door. Kick it down. Can I kick it? Kick it down. Actually, no. I shouldn't. I don't want to. I kick it and then I kick the wall. Knock, knock. Pizza's here. Ayo to pizza. Well, he failed us unlocking it so you kick it down. Break it down. Attempt. Okay. I'm going to set the chest down. Remind me to pick it up because this is for you. Thank you.

[02:29:27] Okay. You don't get it. It's just a wooden door. It's not iron reinforced or anything. Why is there a huge lock? It's a six. Two of them. And then what? Any bone? Oh. Any bonus to that? I'm... It's just a strength roll. Then... Dirty 20. Huh? I got a 16, then a 19. So my lower roll is a 16 plus my sitting. Thought I had a 4. You take a step. You raise your foot straight up to your chest.

[02:29:56] Swing your hips just perfect. Plant your foot right beside where that door handle is. The door handle stays in place. And the rest of the door keeps going. The handle's just like... The door's just like... Hopefully the child was upon the door. Don't say that. Don't say that. You told me to kick it down. As the child gets destroyed by a door. I would never say that. As the final boss gets hit by a door. Final boss hit by the door. Hell yeah.

[02:30:26] Takes negative one damage. He heals. But then you killed the child. Quick clarification. The door we're going out of leads back over here. Yes. That door that you guys left. You know that. We're over. Okay. You kick in the door. It swings open. Nice. Against the wall you see there are a pair of small shitty sleeping pallets. Basically just straw and a single sheet laying over top of it.

[02:30:55] And there is a... Appears to be a 11 to 13 year old curl chained to the wall. Great. Alright. You got this. You want to help me unlock it? You're the people person. Talk to them first. What? What? They're terrified of us. Hello. What are you... Because you kick down the door. I walk up to them and I ask what their name is. She powers back from you. She is clearly terrified. Except... Drop your watch.

[02:31:27] You guys got... Sparrow do you have any berries? Um. I know I need to but it's up to him to remember. Sparrow. Up to him to remember. I could do it. I could leave it if I want. He's got to remind me. It's his thing. The chest. The chest back. Can you just run it up now? Hey. No I didn't pick it up after kicking the door. You just picked it up. Okay. Before anything else I am...

[02:31:56] I'm taking the chest back now. It's his job to remind me because it is his thing he wants to open. So this is up to him. Thank you. I don't think I have... Well I'm... I'm wearing any berries. Ah. Why don't you just magically break berries? Because of what? I'm wearing two. He's hiding back in your hood. He does not. He doesn't have any pockets. He doesn't have any pockets. He doesn't have any pockets. That one... That one berry. Oh wait. Ew. That one berry in his mouth that he gave you.

[02:32:26] Ew. Ew. Okay. That's why it was only one half. Partially two berry. Oh I have two. I'm still a one... I'm still a one A.T. I mean you're really beaten better. Yeah we know. Oh yeah. Go talk to them again. I got nothing. I got their balls. I have no food. No anything. Nothing to help her calm her down with. I got coins.

[02:32:55] We're not giving them money. Why? No this is... This is what I wrote down. That's your stuff. Money makes everyone happy. We're not giving them money. We're not giving them poor person. money. You don't know if they're poor. Alright we're not giving them abducted child money. You don't know if they were abducted? They're locked in a room. We're not giving the child money. They're chained to a... You don't know if they're child... They're chained to a... They're chained to a room... To a wall. Yeah. In a locked room. And they could have locked the door behind them. Wait I can't...

[02:33:25] With a pad... With another door. The lock was on the other side. Yeah maybe. Baloney. Okay. I guess I should. But they could have asked the old vampire for help. We just killed their... We killed their only way out. Oh. Can I attempt to calm her down? Sure. You can give me a... Persuasion. Yes I did! I... I...

[02:33:53] I have a benefit in persuading. Proficiency you mean? You're still rolling two. You're still rolling two. Oh right. Six. Wait actually? They're both three. Okay. Six probably doesn't... Oh wait no. Sorry my bad. Nine. I have a little bit of an extra bonus on it. Oh for charisma? Yep.

[02:34:22] Alright so uh... You mean... Were you looking at perception? No I was looking at... Crazla. No were you looking at perception? Yes. There's no one. Alright. So can I... Oh a nine. It doesn't... I don't know if you want that answer. A nine. A nine you said. She continues cowering in the corner. She gives her a squeak of panic because you're speaking to her. Good job. Why you gotta be so scary?

[02:34:51] And if everyone knew the scariest one. Long figure. Wandering over. Which is that? What is that? I'm a tall boulder. Do something funny. Okay. Should we just try and... Start juggling the chest? Alright. Can you assist me while I try to chain her? Yeah. I'll just take the lock on it. Okay. So just natural thing. Yep. Eighteen.

[02:35:21] Without anything. That will succeed. I'm assuming that will succeed, yeah. The lock on a set of manacles is poor at best. I think I'm like nine? No. It's very easy. Four? You just... You basically need to have the tools and roll above a five. Okay. Well I have the tools and I don't make it. So... So... The lock pops open. She lunges out and tries to bite you. I knew it. I knew it.

[02:35:51] I knew it. Uh... Hold her. Oh! Hold her up in the air. So animal-friendly. The knight's gonna hit. Whoa! She deals one damage. Because she's not a gun. She's just afraid. Yeah. She tried to bite you. Oh wait. Okay. I guess I will... Wait. So wait. Nothing really happens. I have land. Besides that. So we're not like... That's it. She's just a little girl who's terrified. So she bit you. Of us.

[02:36:21] All of us. I'm at ten damage now. I get you. Did you imagine her at one? Just like... Just... Arceus. Arceus. Arceus. Just like... No. No. It was her. She died. A normal person in D&D. Yes, I know. If you punch them, you deal one damage. Yes. It's only you who does more than that. Yes, I know. Okay.

[02:36:49] If she had bit me, I would have died. I guess I'll... You would have been unconscious again. Unconscious from just like a little... I can heal you. I still play on hands. Can you? Oh, yeah, you did. Oh, yes. No, we'll go rest. This girl isn't coming with us. Yes, she is. I will offer my hand. You saved her. She bit you. I don't think she trusts us at all. I'll offer my hand. She's gonna bite it again. One more.

[02:37:20] Maybe you'll learn your lesson. I don't think he's going to. He's gonna keep trying to offer her hand. Give me a persuasion test. Oh, test. Persuasion. Persuasion. He's not gonna say anything. He's just gonna do this. That's so scary. That's... That's scary. That's probably... That's possibly enough. Possibly. And that's 20. Does a 17 convince her? I mean, you put your hand out after she already bit you, and you didn't strike her.

[02:37:50] You didn't... You didn't try to harm her, and you undid her manacles. She's second-guessing it. She... She doesn't take your hand, but she does get up and start moving around the side of the room. So wait, it's just her. Yeah. Yeah. But from what we can see, it's just her. Hey, bang! From what we can see, the room seems to be so small. Yes. She turns and asks, where is my sister? Oh! So this is the other two. So... Not the one we were looking for. This is the other two. Oh, wait.

[02:38:20] No, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You should... No, no, no. Ask her who her sister is. Who is your sister? Uh, Susie. This is the other two. This is the other two. The other two. There's three girls and one guy. Do you know what she looks like? Don't do that. Do I know what my sister looks like? What she was wearing on the side. What's your sister? Who's your sister? What did your sister look like? Um...

[02:38:49] I already told you. Susie. Help me. What did she look like? A dead child. And I'm gonna send Sparrow to see if it... Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. I'm not gonna send you. You might steal her finger. Me. You. No, no. I only steal fingers from bad people. Watch me go back over there. The body's gone. What did you do? She gives you a description that matches the girl who's dead. In the other room. Shh.

[02:39:18] I got some bad news to tell you. Don't do that. You don't get to say a thing. She's already somewhat... She's already still hesitant about even talking to us. You don't get to say a thing. Okay, fine. I won't say anything. Hush now. Hush now. No. You go. You shoo. Shoo shoo. Shoo back to the other room. You can go take a finger. I don't care. But I'm gonna investigate the room while they're dealing with her. This is... It's basically a cell. There is two pallets on the floor. A bucket near where her manacles were to shit in. Ew.

[02:39:47] You have to tell the truth. There is a small field of bread in the opposite corner. It looks like she threw it. Face the wrath. What do you mean wrath? We didn't kill her. The parental wrath. How dare you not death? It is my being killed. She was there when we got there. We have to tell him in there. Damn. I can't... Can I feed one of the two moldy bread? One of the what? One of the two. What did you call us? What does she call us?

[02:40:17] I said one of the two. You said one of the two and then said something else. Yeah. Yes. She was describing an action, not you guys. Okay. Can I feed one of the two moldy bread? She can't feed us moldy bread. Why did you get moldy bread? There's a piece of moldy bread in the corner on the floor. We would probably see the mold on this, so we'd probably rightfully decline. I would rightfully decline, because I would... I'm going to go eat the bar.

[02:40:46] Eat the bar. Okay. Okay. So, yeah, you recognize her description as the girl in the other room. You got something. She's a wife. What is... I don't know. I think we're just... It's better best to just lie to her and tell her parents instead. Yeah. Because then they'll be able to tell her anyway. Right. Because unless we... Unless we go back to the other room... And she's going to see it. And then she's going to see it. I don't want to tell... I'm not... No, no, no. Because we're... Because we're here. Unless we go over back this hallway again in here, she's never going to see it.

[02:41:16] You go up first. You block that door. So we go here. You block this door so she can't see it. We go back out here. And then to this door. No, we're not going to the woman's casket in the main room we came in. We're not doing that. You stand in front of here so she doesn't see it in the room. Because remember, her body was right in the front and middle of the room. Yeah. So stand in front of you. I'll walk out first, yeah. I don't think I have. Do you want to come with us to go see your parents? Arceus.

[02:41:45] Or at least come in, like... Arceus. So we can get you out of here safely? Arceus, while we're walking... Give me a persuasion test. Yeah, I was going to say, just like to get her out of here safely. All right. Let's have a... Also, give me a deception test. Oh. Because, like... Because you lied first. And then you're trying to... So wait, this is your deception roll, whatever that was. Deception is in your charisma. I think. Oh. Right? I don't have any benefits to it, so... Nineteen. Okay, thank God. You can lie. What? It's... You got sixteen.

[02:42:15] Yeah. Okay. Now roll your persuasion. Uh, and, uh, nineteen. Okay. She, uh... She believes that you haven't seen her sister. Even though you're lying to someone. Through your teeth. I know I'm lying. And while we're walking on the... I'm not going to lie to her parents, but I'm... I don't want to scar a child. I was going to say, it's in a way... Just be glad you haven't taken an oath yet. I'm very glad I haven't taken an oath yet.

[02:42:46] Uh, okay. Alright. Uh, so she... She believes you, and she's willing to follow you guys out. Alright. He's blocking that... That room. I'm just... I walk out first. Alright. I guess... And close the door? Yeah. I guess... Close the door to the room at the end of the hall? Yeah. Okay. So... Okay. I will take her outside then. Okay. I'm going to go... I don't... No. You're not! You're coming with us. I'm not having you get disoriented again. Aw.

[02:43:15] We're also not having you rob a grave. Again. Again. Again, again. Again, again, again. Again, again, again. Again, again, again. No, no. I think it's only three times. No, it's four times. It was four? Okay. So again, again, again. Okay. Alright. So... That's what you guys are doing? You're just on your way out now? Yeah. Yes? Yes? You have the chest, right? Mm-hmm. Alright. Never shut it down again. Sure. Okay.

[02:43:51] I need... I need everybody to give me an intelligence check. Oh, Jesus. Or wisdom. Whichever you prefer. I don't care. I have two different scenarios going through my mind. Obviously, neither of them sound like they're happening, but, like, they are, and I... In a way, I kind of wish they did happen, because it'd be cool that I just, like, thought about it, but, like, I don't want to say it out loud. I'll do a wisdom. Wait. Which one? Wisdom or intelligence? Yeah. Okay. I need another wisdom. Two. Please, that's together.

[02:44:21] That's together. That's a critical list. Ugh. Okay. Okay. Okay. You're oblivious. Again. No, that's fine. Again. Sorry. Again, again, again, again, again, again. You, uh, you kind of wonder how long the sister had been dead for.

[02:44:45] You realize that if you guys hadn't gone back to town and taken a long rest, that you might have actually been able to save the sister too. Is it your fault? Arceus, it's your fault. I don't understand. I think I should take a... You're actually feeling a little guilty about that. I'm not. You are. I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm only, like, not sure. According to your alignment, you do. Since when?

[02:45:14] Alignments is like your chaotic neutral and stuff like that, right? Yeah. Yeah. I don't feel guilty. He should feel guilty. This is his fault. He's oblivious. He doesn't know. He's not thinking about it. I'm kind of glad I'm oblivious. I'm going to, I'm going to just tell him. Can I tell him? I hate it here. I hate it here. I want to leave. Arceus, I got the moves to tell you. Since I'm allowed to tell him. I don't want to hear. If we hadn't gone back to... The child is with us. The child is still here.

[02:45:44] So shut up. When the child isn't here, when the child isn't here. No, I'm whispering in his ear. Because you might whisper it too loud. Whisper, whisper, whisper. Okay, fine. I tell Onyx, I tell Onyx to take her up ahead. And I whispered... She only trusts me. Someone trusting him. Okay, fine. I take Onyx aside and I tell him what Arceus did. What you think. Or what you know.

[02:46:14] Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is what you believe. It is not necessarily accurate. Like I said, it's what you think in a way. Arceus killed a child. What? What? No! That is not what we said! Sure it is. No! We went back to town. And that killed the child. Arceus chose to go back to town. And it was his idea. That doesn't mean... That doesn't mean the child was dead.

[02:46:42] That doesn't mean the child being dead was his fault. Okay, I guess... I mean... It doesn't! Would you have rather gone in to fight that thing, beaten battered? No, I wouldn't. We better... We better... Two out of three of you went down in that fight. Because he'd have like... Two of us... Oh my god. Arceus had... One of us being only one second throw away from fully being dead. I didn't even go down! He didn't even go down!

[02:47:13] That's actually really surprising. Yes, it is! Fine. Can we continue? We'll have to go down. Yeah. We're just about done for the night. Okay. I go to Arceus while the child is not listening. No! The child is with me. The child is right by him. If not holding his hand now because of how trusting... As you're walking with this child, are you talking to her at all? I guess I'll... Yeah, I'll talk to her. Okay, what are you talking about? Do you know where your... She knows where her exact house is.

[02:47:44] I would assume so. I would hope so. You guys have been to her house. How long have you been in there? Wait, did we ask her her name? Susie was the sister. Whatever her name was. It was Susie... Sarah... Whatever the got kid... Sarah, Jimmy, Sally, and Susie. Sarah, Jimmy, Jolly. Jimmy, Jolly, and Juicy. Sorry, no. Sarah, Jimmy, Jolly, and Juicy.

[02:48:14] Ask her her names and questions that she'll find comforting. Don't do that. Don't do that. Or... Or... Yeah, sure. You can... I know what the other thing you were thinking of was. What? Where the other... If you were with the other children. Oh, yeah, that works. Or like, was there anyone else with you? Yeah. What? How did the... There's somebody back there. What are you saying? Do you... No, that's not what I meant. No, stop.

[02:48:42] We heard there were two other children missing. Do you know... Would they have been with you? Well, Sarah and Jimmy were with us when we were playing in the graveyard. Children playing in the graveyard. Oh! Um... Let's go a hundred percent. Hmm. Would you think they would particularly stay with each other? Or split up?

[02:49:14] I... I don't... I don't know. Alright, then. He... He had a thought that we were leaving children. But you guys do arrive back at the town. We were leaving children. And you take, uh... You take Sally to, um... Her mom? Jally. Ethel's alchemy. Jally. Because that's her mom. Oh!

[02:49:43] An alchemist, not a wizard. They're not saying it. She's the one in that wizard. Wizards are not... What? Are wizards very uncommon here? They're not. Wizards aren't a thing here because we got the wizard... The fake wizard people. Yep. The fake wizards. The wizards. The wizards. The wizards. I forgot the wizards. Sally and Thor siblings. They were trained by real wizards. So Sarah is Tina's kid. They're wizards. Uh, Tina's sister, yes. Yep. Sister. Tina's sister is... Sarah. Yeah.

[02:50:13] She's gonna cast a fireball on me. It's gonna be your... That's a wizard, not an alchemist. She's gonna throw a potion of instant damage on me. That's Minecraft. That's Minecraft. Dude. Dude. Okay. Um, but you... You return Sally home. I guess I'll... You have to go tell her. I guess I'll tell... You gotta go tell the mother. You have to go tell her mom. Is it the child near the mother or did she run off to her room?

[02:50:40] She probably had to go in and just at least show that she's alive first. You have to give them a little bit. Mom isn't letting her go. Mom isn't letting her go. Not letting her out of her sight. Ooh. Not for any length of time anytime soon, it sounds like. So, good luck telling the mom. Wait, I don't even know. Wait. Oh yeah, that is the other thing. You do... You know that she's dead. Roll me... Roll me a... Are you breaking the news to her or not? I'm breaking the news to her. With a sister right there. Roll me a...

[02:51:10] But it's better that we told her with her mom because... Yeah, but then she's gonna break down and I don't wanna have to hear that. I don't wanna have to hear that. I'm not... I'm not mentally prepared for that. You go. I'll do it. But... Bye. Roll me a... Actually, before... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't know about you, but I'm going back to check on Ethan. That's a good idea. You go do that. I'm gonna wait through and break the news that this... No! No! No!

[02:51:40] You go. Okay, bye. Break her with you. By the ear, just... You're gonna... I'm by the ear. Not by the ear. I'm tanning! No, you're just gonna... You're gonna have her head down. Yeah, good luck reaching. We're... You're only a little taller than me. No, I'm a little... Cupcake taller. Persuasion. Plus five, as long as it's... I'm like six feet tall. Oh, sh... I'm here, I'm here. Nothing under 15. I'm like 12 feet tall. That's what I want. Nothing under 15. Something under 15. Wait, has it been...

[02:52:10] How many minutes has it been since we left? Roll me your damn persuasion! 17. Damn it. 17. Okay, you break the news to her. She is... Obviously distraught. Yeah. Heartbroken. Crying. Obviously the sister heard it too. Ah! She is horribly upset about it too. It's better than we told the mom. But now she's gonna know that you lied to her. Oh! I know that she's gonna know that.

[02:52:39] She's never gonna trust you again. Well, you guys probably aren't gonna be in town for that long anyway. Yeah. Okay. But... The mother does pay you for retrieving her child for her. And then I used to... For retrieving, yes. She... Sorry. Um... Go retrieve her for me. I don't know where she went, but go retrieve her for me. Now, the child you brought her home. That is retrieving. Yes, I get that, but like the... Okay.

[02:53:08] Oh, next while we're all walking out the door. Okay! No! She, uh... She hands you a coin purse with three platinum pieces and... Jesus Christ. Six gold pieces. Don't you really have platinum pieces? Doesn't he have already like two? I don't know. Let me read. I don't know what you guys got. Reading. I can't even read it. You can't spell. No.

[02:53:37] But you already have one. He's got two from scratch. No, no, he's... Platinum is... Platinum is platinum. Platinum. Platinum. Not platinum. Platinum. P-L-A-T-N-U-M. P-L-A-T-N-U-M. Platinum and how much? Oh, what do you have? You got three platinum. You got three platinum, so you're totaled. Yeah, six gold. Six gold. Hello, rebel. Rebel. It's easier just to give him your face. He's only going to lick it a couple of times, and then he'll be done. Ew. Thank you. Okay.

[02:54:07] That's fair. With Tridora, she will just keep at it. With Spy, she will just keep at it. Rebel. Unless it's Sarah, he doesn't keep going. He just flicks a few times and he's done. Okay. Just a couple of cases. Alright, well, I will say thank you and bye, and go find out where these two of the food went. I'm out the door. I said I was letting you know I was going to go check on Ethan. Ah, yes. I'm still going to find you because you might have got lost. I know where the tavern is. You realize that your party is with him, right? What do you mean?

[02:54:37] Like, he's in your adventuring party. Yes. Okay. And then, by the loss of one person in your adventuring party, you guys nearly all almost died. Yeah, but only he's going to die. Because he killed the child. He didn't kill anything! He didn't kill the child! He hasn't killed anyone in this adventure. I got the final blow on the vampire. But we were late because of him. It's a meanie. He killed it.

[02:55:07] You got it on the spell. Oh, no. So you can't blame it on him. I actually also offered to sleep with the graveyard. I was the one that suggested that. I was going to say, I was also trying to say before you kept blaming it on Arceus, that I suggested we go back and have the rest. So two of them? Yes. I said both of them. And I don't care. I'd rather take the blame. I really don't care. Okay, fine. Oh, I next killed the child. The only thing I killed was that vampire.

[02:55:35] And those other guys that tried to motivate us. By a junk doken. I love that. That's awesome. And I get to tell my friends I killed a vampire by... By using a junk doken. I suck him in the groin. No, I need him in the groin. Yeah, you need him in the groin. Oh, he... Okay. He did not last long. No, he actually would have woken up the next day if somebody hadn't taken his head. Nice.

[02:56:07] For once, you... I mean, for once, your weird obsession... Best word for it... Is useful. Well, no, it's because he got... She slapped... He slapped her. Oh, man. It's because he slapped her. So, uh... You guys are headed back to the tavern for the night? I just realized... We already had a... You were a little bit... Trying to make sure that they were okay. I guarantee. Yeah. I wouldn't have taken his head if he didn't slap me. So you would have screwed us over...

[02:56:36] I wouldn't have done anything. Yes, you would have. Okay, so the next question is, are you guys going to rest, or are you going to continue on and search for the next child? Now that... Have we... We haven't gotten to check on Ethan. Wait, where did Ethan go? Ethan's staying at the tavern. Ethan, I know, Ethan's at the tavern, but like, didn't the... The, um... We should act, yes. The thing that you said, the medicine person come in? Guardian. Guardian. The herbalist. The herbalist. Him. Him.

[02:57:06] I knew it was something. It just said that. Shh. Yeah, we should go check on him. I was trying to figure it out myself. I said, like, three times. I don't know, so I'm going to check on him. Okay. Yeah. You guys get in there, and it's actually not a herbalist. Like, you would have expected. You expected, like, an old throne, you know, making tea and stuff. And it's actually a younger... A younger girl. And she's, um... She's dressed in, like, armor. She's, uh...

[02:57:35] Uh... No, you recognize the emblem she's wearing is the same one that Eben was wearing. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. I don't want to be reminded of him. He left. Because he's not going to be back. Uh... Unless we live that long, he's not going to be back. He is statted. He is a permanent NPC in this campaign. He has stats.

[02:58:02] Most of these people are just names, an AC, and a hit point total. Like, they are nothing else. Even Rook? Still. Rook has an entire character sheet because he's Chris's character. Nice. Rook will live on him. Hopefully. But, yeah, Eben is still around. He is probably going to show up repeatedly in this campaign. He's going to save us from the final box.

[02:58:33] We're all going to come and clutch. So, two out of four. So, I'm so glad I saved him. I'm so glad I saved him. I... I... So, two out of the five are alive. There's four missing children. No. One is dead. One is alive. No. Mentor. Two are missing. Still. Mentor. Mentor. Mentor. Because we had... Well, Evan wasn't a mentor. Evan wasn't a mentor. I saved him. Oh, no. He was only like a couple of years older than you guys. I was going to say that. He was only a couple of years older. Yeah, I think he was like 23. But I'm like 178. 23.

[02:59:03] He said 23. Okay. A couple of years maturity-wise older than you. Alright, then. I guess I would... Excuse me. A hundred years maturity-wise older than you. Excuse me. Yes. That's not true. Yes, it is. Alright, then. I guess I will greet the knight or person. The accolade? The accolade. Yes. Okay. A hundred percent. Oh, hey. Hello. Is this your friend? This is our friend. What happened to her? Yeah, what happened? We were under-attacked by...

[02:59:34] We were under-attacked by a group of zombies in the graveyard while looking for some children and they were injured and are now sick as far as we could down. And we don't... Well, that would certainly explain these scratches on his arm and why they're so badly infected. Okay. Well, that's all I really needed. Something. Scratches, not bites. Bite? You can still get it. Yes, but no.

[03:00:04] I'm not killing off a character because she didn't show up to the game. Right. I mean, you could if you knew that they weren't showing up again at all, but like... I don't care if we're weeks. It's been... Three... They were last year. Yeah.

[03:00:30] I think it was three weeks since they were last year and then I wasn't here for two weeks before that. Doesn't matter. It appears that Ethan is on the mend. Still unconscious, but... You know... Breathing. The fever is broken and he's breathing. All right, then... So have you guys decided what you're going to do? I'm going to go up to bed. Okay.

[03:00:58] So you're going to pay for another night in the tavern? Yeah. Okay. Okay. It was a... It was... Yeah, me too. It was one for one. It was one for one. It was one for one, right? Oh, I paid last time. Yeah, it was one for one bedroom. It was one... Okay. I got that. I paid last time. Oh, yeah. You get to try again. Okay. So, um... Do you guys know where you're going to head next? Well, depends. Like...

[03:01:27] Wait, this was Sally, right? Sarah? No. No, no. The one we saved. Sally. Sally. Sally. Sally didn't... Sally never said that she didn't know where they went. She said they were in the haunted house. It was either the haunted house or the swamp and didn't know if they were split up. So, it's either we have to go to both to find each of them or we have to make the right call and go and get both of them in one spot. If I was a kid, I'd go to the haunted house. I downright feel like there's a werewolf. For a way to play, actually, that sounds...

[03:01:57] That sounds... That's good logic. It sounds like there's going to be a werewolf there. We have silver. The haunted house. We have silver. I have silver on me. You got silver. You think a werewolf lives in the haunted house? No, but haunted house. I mean... No. No. No. No. I got silver. In Harry Potter... Oh my god. ...the building was believed to be haunted because that's where Lupin went to do his change every month.

[03:02:26] So not haunted. Go Chagara. Whether or not it's haunted, neither here nor there. But I would think ghast or ghouls. Ghast? Ghouls are zombies. Yes. Yes, but what do you find in the haunted house? Ghosts. Ghosts. And? Ghosts. Ghosts. Spirits. Stop. Ectoplasms? Ectoplasms? Okay. Slimers. Are we going to have to go to slime? Slimers? Yes, Ghostbusters! Okay.

[03:02:56] So this is where we're going to end for tonight. Okay. Let's go into bed. Uh, while you, for you guys to go to bed. Uh, because you also get to level up. Ugh! Yeah. Ugh! Oh, my God. I can't believe it. So, um, that's, uh, that's, that's the beginning of this adventure. Comments, questions, suggestions. Hey, hey, did everybody have fun? Yes. We did, yes. Okay? Scared for my life, but yes.

[03:03:26] Yeah. I'll tell you, I'll tell you guys after what I thought because it'd be awesome. It'd be awesome, but actually, we'd be screwed. Guys, we get to fight a dragon. Not for a long time yet, but yes. Dragon! I have, I have an entire book on dragons. I'm going to guess if we live, all six of those books will be used. Uh, maybe, maybe not.

[03:03:58] I have two more here. Eight. Eight books will be used. Uh-huh. If we survive. Uh, no, nobody's got any, any comments? Can I do the dragon? Any questions? Nothing? Can I do the dragon? Please send help. Uh, no. No, you cannot. Trying to seduce the dragon. Can I get a dog? I can already have a chipmunk. Ethan would do that. You can get a dog. Ethan has, his horse. Understand dogs have armor class and HP.

[03:04:28] I like my pun black ass. Yeah. Well, what if I don't, I don't want to. Oh. You can't have a whole herd of animals that you bring around with you everywhere. One of them will have to die. Up, up, up. Up, up. Up, up. If you get, like, five or six animals, one of them will have to die. No. No, I'm not saying that. Or at least go, at least leave.

[03:04:48] I'm just saying that, like, don't want to and can't manage that many NPCs hanging out all the time. I'll stick to the wand chip. Okay. That's fine. I'll do better that way. Until. Until. Until.

[03:05:18] You guys do get to level up. He's dead already. I'm telling you, you're a mentor sidekick. No. Not Evan. I don't think Evan is your mentor sidekick. No, he's my friend. So there's the player's handbook. That's my friend. You guys can level yourselves up. So I assume you're taking another level of druid. Paladin, I assume. Because that means that you're going circle of the moon.

[03:05:47] So that means that you're going to be able to turn into an animal. Bear. And you guys are locked in now. You've got to go paladin. You've got to go monk. Because I let you use abilities from level two of those classes. That's my problem. I'm not going as my. I want to try. I'll do that later when I'm more confident with my paladin level. Okay. Well.

[03:06:18] At that point, I'm going to turn the recording off. You guys got anything left to save the recording? Bye, Chris. See you, Chris. Thanks, Chris. To the left.