(D&D5e): Eberron: Ashat's Adventurers - Episode 18: Temple of the Scorpion God

[00:00:03] During the Last War, when the Elves of Aranol annexed Valinar from Seir, the Ashat Ranch stood defiant in the Borderlands. At the end of the Last War, when the Mourning creeped across Seir, decimating all in its path, the Ashat Ranch stood defiant in the Borderlands.

[00:00:26] Now, five years after the Last War, Mama Abby of the Ashat Ranch stands defiant but hopeful, with plans for a future for wayward Seirin survivors. She'll need help in this new expansion. Help from friends and found family. Help from Ashat's Adventurers.

[00:01:01] Because that would be Dave's character if we were playing in DBZ Campaign. Yeah. I mean, probably. Put that on the list. DBZ Campaign. I mean, he's short, bald, and wears yellow. It's reddish-yellow, but yeah, it's acceptable. I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna do a DBZ Campaign. He does throw yellow attacks. He does throw yellow attacks. Yes. That cleats things in half, like, regardless of what they are. Yeah, they are fucking badass.

[00:01:27] The Destructor Disk is a badass attack when it actually bothers to hit anything. Solar Flare? Yep. I like Solar Flare. Mmhmm. Ah. Kamehameha would be just a classic, though. Even though it takes so goddamn lives, like, Kameha, next time on Drabblesy, Meha! Ahhhh. That's like Piccolo. That's Piccolo doing the special bean cat. Yeah. Kamehameha is this. It's this. Goddamn it.

[00:01:56] You know Dragon Ball Zs. I do. I listen to a podcast about it. You know it better than I do. I knew that one. Kamehameha. I just imagine Piccolo saying Kamehameha, but he's just charging it that way. Oh, my gosh. Like, all of a sudden, he's just confused. Can't figure out what the hell's gonna happen. Mmhmm. Yeah. It'd be a brilliant tactic. Yep. Yep. And then just self-destructs.

[00:02:26] Oh, I mean, um... What's that little, like... Chow Tzu? Chow Tzu, yeah. Ugh, silly times. Hi, and welcome to One Less Die, a... DBZ... Nope. It's really not. 5th edition D&D actual play podcast. Uh, we're playing Eberron, um, or our version of Eberron, with the, uh, Ashat's Adventurers, or the Assats.

[00:02:51] Um, so, last we left off, um, Kirklus got a Island Hideout, uh, to which he can now... In my name? Yep. Wait, no, actually, technically it's in Copper's name. I thought it was in mine. It was in Copper's. Oh, okay. I'm okay with that. Uh, to which he can now, um, start, uh, exercising, um, guerrilla tactics against a particular elven, uh, establishment. Sure, that'll go over well.

[00:03:18] You've also made, uh, made connections, like some under-the-table connections with, uh, a particular nation that neighbors the elven, uh, nation of Corvair. Sure. You can say their name. Nope. They're goblins. I was gonna, I thought you were being, I thought we were being secretive. I was gonna say the gnomes, like, to throw people off. Okay, if you wanna just blatantly throw your, uh, your, uh, your cohorts under the bus, yes, the goblins. I mean, she's stacked. I don't think I'm dying courts listening to this podcast.

[00:03:47] I think she's still with you guys. But yeah, you guys, um, uh, now that your business on the island of Banan is done, which, or whatever island you're called, whatever name you want. Um. It's the Banana Republic. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:04:16] You, uh, or Captain Twilo, uh, you guys hopped back on board of the, uh, the, the Gilded Sparrow and Captain Twilo is, um, flying you guys south to the continent of Zendrik, where the ancient, uh, where the ancient, uh, zombie empire, where the ancient giant empire once, uh, once lived and vanished mysteriously, uh, and leaving all their crazy cool ruins and stuff like that. Um, so, uh. Yeah, it's filled with giant zombies.

[00:04:45] I wish. Um, so, uh, it's, um, about a four day journey, uh, from, from the, uh, from Corvair to the location on, in, uh, in Zendrik that, uh, um, Captain Twilo is taking you guys on this expedition. Um, and at some point in that four days, he eventually, he does actually take you guys into his, into his quarters to show you why you guys, what, what exactly you guys are doing down there.

[00:05:12] Um, it's like, uh, so I, I imagine you, my friends, you have been having this, uh, you've been wondering why, where we, what, what exactly we'll be doing down in, uh, in the, the jungles of Zendrik. Yes? Yes. Thought it was crossed my mind. Well, um, so I was in, I, I do business in Sharna a lot, uh, being part of House Leander, um, and, um, this, this rather, uh, rather, uh, wealthy fellow, um, there, known as, um, um,

[00:05:42] uh, a, a Tofran Demelik, um, contacted me to acquire, uh, a, a particular jewel or a dragon shard, um, that he, uh, that his company, um, uh, required or would like to, would like to obtain. Um, he's apparently sent a few expeditions down, no one has ever returned. And, and, I heard that, and I was just like, yes, I am. Captain Twilo is in.

[00:06:13] Um, now the, uh, the going rate for this jewel, or for this, for this, for this dragon shard, uh, from what I've heard, is, uh, he is willing to pay 60,000 gold for it. And, uh, that seems low. It is, it's going, it's pretty good for the going rate of dragon shards. Um, in the, what do I have here?

[00:06:42] He's like, probably, he can do some sheets as well as a map of Zendrick. He's adopted your guys' map, he like, when you guys arrive, he's like, aha, threw all of his stuff on the, uh, table and put down a map of Zendrick. Perfect. He learns well. Yeah. He learns by watching it anyway. Hmm? It was all his sister's shit anyway. Um, now from what I, uh, I've been told, um, it is not simply an Eberoth dragon shard.

[00:07:11] My friends, we're going after her. It's Cyprus dragon shard. Is that one of the ones from space? Yes! The ones from the, the one from the sky. Um. Now, the undying court cannot reach me. Beth! Um. Now, I do not know, uh, much other than that, uh, I know, I know, I have the location, I have the coordinates that he's given me, uh, they exist deep in the jungles of Zendrick. Um.

[00:07:41] It is apparently a temple, um, left over by the, the giant empire a thousand years ago. Um, and, uh, yes, um, this, uh, our, our, our contact, uh, uh, Mr. Demilek, uh, would like to, uh, for us to acquire it and bring it, uh, back to Sharn. Um, and, uh, he will, uh, give us, and he will, uh, he will pay us, uh, half first and then half later. Half a pound out of third.

[00:08:11] So we got paid 30,000 a month? Why are we still here? That was, like, all, like, for everything, like the whole thing. So it's like not each. I mean, 30,000 each. Um. But that is a thing that you need to learn to clarify. Yes. You used to do that in Shadowrun a lot. Mm-hmm. Uh, I will pay you $2,500. That's not very much. No, it's each. Oh! Okay!

[00:08:42] That's good. That's good. We'll take it! I'm gonna pay you guys, um, $5,000. Is it gross or net? It's Shadowrun. It's all, uh, under the table cash. Yeah. Um. You don't work for the corpse if you can avoid it. What knowledges do you guys have? Do you have eight knowledges? Nature. Uh. What do you want me to roll? Because I have everything now. Okay, local probably then.

[00:09:12] Like a local knowledge. Well, okay, so. That's not a thing. It's not a thing anymore. There's no knowledges. It's like, there's arcana, history. It's arcana, history, investigation, nature, and religion. Ah. Those are the only knowledges now. I guess going with investigation since it's like, like maybe just like your like, your like bed of knowledge. I wanna know if you guys know who this guy is. It's Tofra. Probably. Uh.

[00:09:40] 19 plus 4 plus 2, so 25. Okay. Tofran Damalek is one of Sharn's wealthiest dragon shard raiders. If you want dragon shards in Sharn, or even in Breloid, like you go to Tofran. Okay. So. Okay. He's the J.G. He's the J.G. Wentworth dragon shards. So. Um. Yeah. Uh.

[00:10:10] You got four days before you guys arrived there, so is there anything you guys like to do while you're on the ship? I think the wizard is going to be doing some bookishly things. Bookish stuff and spell learning. Pretty much, yeah. Did I learn the TensorFlowing disk on the way here or on our travels from here forward? Yeah, I think on your travel, like between like, uh, like leaving the island that you

[00:10:36] guys were just on and like to the, to the end of that, like somewhere in between. So yeah, I will be learning successfully because I did the roll off recording I believe, or was that on our recording? Yeah. Um. Learned the actual TensorFlowing disk, the hoverboard version, so that's excellent. Do you test it out while you're on the ship as it's going over the Tempest Seed? Yeah, totally, yeah. Yeah, I'm totally doing that. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like.

[00:11:05] What level is that spell? Uh. One or two? It's TensorFlowing disk. Does it go up? Okay, so you're just modifying TensorFlowing disk and not changing the level. It's a one. Okay, so you need to give it a small drawback. Okay. Just to keep it level balanced. I would make him make balance checks. Okay, yeah, well, yeah. I mean, that's fair. That makes sense. Right? Yeah, that's fair. So yeah, roll a balance check. I'm not doing it. I thought you were testing it out. I am not. Over the sea? You're like, yeah, sure.

[00:11:34] Yeah, with a high degree of sarcasm in my voice. I'm sorry, I didn't roll my insight check. I'll grab a random guy and put him on. I'll grab Cremanal and put him on. Yes. Right. Right. Right, the interns. They're still on the ship. No. Get, uh... What's the edgelord? Get Cabal. Cabal, yeah. He hasn't had a bad enough time having the shit kicked out of my monkeys. Cabal, invisibility.

[00:12:04] Cabal. Okay. But no, I'll test it on land. Okay, fine. Just to be safe. Because honestly, I have a lot of other stuff to learn anyways. Yeah. It's like, there, I got it, cool, moving on. Yeah. All right, so you're just learning spells, basically. Yeah, how many spells can I learn in the time? Well, it's four days, so... Aaron, you're usually the wizard. How many spells can I learn in four days? I think it's two hours per spell that you're copying into your spell book.

[00:12:33] So I can literally learn the whole stack of ten. Right, because you don't need to sleep. Yep. Okay. And I have to pay for each one, right? Yes, there is a gold cost. I believe it's a hundred gold per level of spell that you're copying. I'll have to find out what spell level each one is. I'll do it later. I just won't use them in this episode. I can tell you. Okay. I can just look at them and tell you. There's ten of them. Where, where, where there's one? There.

[00:13:04] Four. Three. Three. Two. Two. One. One. One. One. So that'll make that a two. That was easy. He memorized. He knows all the things. How many times Aaron has played a wizard? No. There's only a couple that are not in third edition. Okay. So there's only a few in there that I have not read a hundred times. Yeah, fair. Yeah. They said it was a hundred per level?

[00:13:34] Yes. A hundred per level of spell. What are the other two? Oh yeah. Also, Dave is playing Copper, a Warforged wizard, Artificer. Artificer. Artificer. I'm a full Artificer now. Merit is playing a roger. Or a ray. You watch me, bro. A Rangu. A Rangu. There we go. A Rangu. Um. Uh.

[00:14:04] Aaron is playing Fintan Palado. A not wizard. In fact, the exact opposite. A spellcaster of every other color except. No, I don't play a druid. Not yet. I mean, I could smite as a bear, which would be kind of awesome. I mean, a Care Bear Stare would be pretty awesome. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um. Being playing a Warlock Paladin Monk? No, Warlock Paladin Bard. Yes. So. A Warbarden. A Warburden.

[00:14:34] Yeah, a Warburden. Um. Okay. So, uh, yeah. You guys have, you guys want to do anything while you're on the ship for the next four days? Or? Um. I guess I will, uh, use my new, uh, Bard levels to, uh, entertain the crew. Mm-hmm. With my, um. What, what, what did I have as a musical instrument? Mandolin? Pretty sure. Spoons. Cana, uh, canaic mandolin. Yep. Yep. Um. Um. Try to convince, uh, Faye to play with me there.

[00:15:04] Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Seventeen. And performance, which I'm now proficient in. So, plus seven. Twenty-four? Okay. Yeah. Um. Faye joins in, uh, your, your short-stacked goblin, uh, waifu. Yep. Yep. Yep. Is she impressed? She is. Um. Yep.

[00:15:37] Okay, I'm going to, um, flirt with her for twenty. Okay. Yeah. Okay. For twenty what? Hours? I thought you were gonna give a time there. There, there might be one of the nights during the, the four, the four days where, uh, where, uh, um, Copper and Fintan are sharing the same room and Copper is like doing a study and then Fintan just comes and is like, it just pushes you out and, and Faye comes in. Mm-hmm.

[00:16:07] And the door is closed. Leaves a tie on the door. Yep. Fade to black. Yep. Fade to black? Yeah, yes. Ha ha ha ha. Um. And, um, yeah, Kirklus, were you doing anything, uh, in the four days? I'm gonna be studying the maps and trying to determine ideal locations to strike. Okay.

[00:16:31] Um, actually, uh, I can, uh, cause the, um, the particular jungle area of, of, uh, Zendrick, um, it's not near, so, Zendrick is pretty close to Corbett at the very northern tip. Um, like it's, it's northernmost areas, like the islands. Through the archipelago. Through the archipelago. Yes. Through the archipelago. You're, that's not where you're going. Um, you, you... We're going here! You're going, X marks the spot, bro!

[00:16:59] You're heading east, um, like, southeast into, like, uh, the denser jungle away from Stormreach, which is the port city of Zendrick. Towards the Dark Sea? So... No, basically, kind of between the Dark Sea and the Tempest Sea. The Lake Simcoe? Kinda. Somewhere around there in that, in that area. Which is the side of, of Zendrick that does border to Aramon, or former continental home. Mm.

[00:17:26] Now, are there any books on board with, uh, information about the, the continent or the Empire? Uh, yeah, there's a couple of books, um, about Zendrick. So, uh, yeah, you roll, you want, you can roll a, uh, investigate to learn about Zendrick. What's it all about? While I pull up the cover on... So, did you name your island Kirklus so that you now have a home? Eighteen. Eighteen? No, no, it's the Banan Republic.

[00:17:53] From which my freedom fighters will liberate the continent. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. No doubt, no doubt. Some doubt. A little doubt. So yeah, Zendrick is, like I said earlier, um, it was formerly the, the, the, the continent, uh, occupied by the giants who actually enslaved the original elves of, uh, of Eberron. Um. Okay, so kill all on sight.

[00:18:23] Well, they, but you would, except most of the giants, uh, mysteriously vanished about a thousand years ago, leaving all of their great cities and, and temples and such to crumble and, and, uh, become, uh, consumed by the juggles. Yeah, that's what you get for fuck with the elves. Um, there is a, an elvish, uh, tribe, or there are elvish tribes, um, on, um, uh, on, on, on Zendrick and they're actually probably some of the earliest elves.

[00:18:52] Um, like they have their roots in the earliest elves, uh, they are the drow. Do they still speak elven? Uh, they, they probably speak a rough version of it or like they'd probably be able to like piece some words together. Some hillbilly elven. Um, no, it's, it's, it's kind of like Latin. It's like, so the drow do not speak in hand signs in this world. Okay. Um, well, cause these drow are not, um, so there are, there are drow, um, in, um, uh,

[00:19:22] underground, in the, in the underdark supposedly, in, in, in Khyber. Uh, however, the drow of Zendrick are surface-drow drow. Um, so they are actually more adapted to surface- So they're white black men. Yes, because they scar themselves, uh, they make, they, they scar themselves with tattoos that pale their skin. So they kind of have a, a blotchy black and white kind of look to them. Okay. Cow elves. Um, kind of, actually, from the, from the illustrations I've seen.

[00:19:51] But they have one that's a hero, and he's like super-powered. Well, I mean, no. Occasionally, they, they have a guy around who named, who is named Cowell. Um, and then sometimes he disappears, and a superhero among them shows up. Now, this continent should be rich with loot, because it is the Cowell. Oh yeah, it will. Yeah. Well, you're not wrong, really, like, I'm not joking aside, you aren't wrong, because this

[00:20:21] is effectively the continent that you can play Indiana Jones in, and the Temple of Doom, or like Indiana Jones-style like Adventures in the Jungle. Right. Because there's tons of ancient ruins from the, from the, from the giant empire, um, buried and covered by miles and miles of jungle. Okay, so you need a fedora. I do. That's true. Well, you have a whip already. That's true.

[00:20:45] Um, so, uh, yeah, that's what you kind of learn about Zendrick, is it's, um, currently occupied, like, there is, the Stormreach is the, is the most established port there. It's full of, like, pirates and explorers and treasure hunters looking to make their, uh, inroads into the continent and such. Um, and the jungles are just littered with, with ancient ruins from back when the, the giants existed.

[00:21:11] Uh, and there are supposedly still giant sightings, um, like remnants of their, of their empire, but most of them have just simply vanished mysteriously. That is the best way to vanish. Yes. Very, uh, kind of like a Roanoke sort of vibe. Okay. Um, so, um, yeah, that's what you're, so that's what you're learning spells, the history area you're going to, and, um, you're wooing fate.

[00:21:40] I'm entertaining the crew as well. Quite a lot. Yes. Um, with our public displays. Oh god. God damn it. Uh. Music! Where did your head go? Clearly, yes. Yes. So, um, on the fourth night, or on the fourth day, um, about, probably about midday, you arrive, uh, or you guys have, you guys have gone over, you're already passed over the jungles. Oh, sorry, just to confirm, Captain Twilo doesn't have an enchanter on this boat, right? Okay. No, he does not. I, I know.

[00:22:10] Oh, that's not true. He does. His sister. Remember? Okay. His sister was a spellcaster, as we found out. Was a warlock. She's enchanting. You know what? I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go talk to her. Okay. Hey. What do you want? So, you know, I saw what you did back on the island. Mm-hmm. You're kind of badass. I know. Congratulations. That's just all high and mighty about her, so. Um, apparently Josh. Yeah.

[00:22:39] Because he was the one that played here last time. Yeah. Do you, uh, do you, do you make magic items at all? I could. Good. Why? Because I really feel like my whip needs an upgrade. Your whip needs an upgrade. Yeah, it really needs an upgrade. I mean, nine out of ten guys have problems with them. That's it.

[00:23:09] I know. One in five. So that's all here. I never know that, so. Nine out of ten, yeah. Nine out of ten have erectile dysfunction. Super normal, guys. It's fine. It happens to everybody. Anyway. All right, what do you, what do you want done with the, uh, the whip?

[00:23:36] Um, well, I was, I was thinking maybe you could like impregnate it with, with electricity. Impregnate? I'm sorry. Sorry, what's your intelligence score? I don't have a scared machine. Oh, okay. Um, uh, imbue it with electricity. Oh. If you like those words better. Yeah. Yeah, impregnate is valid. To Chris. Sure.

[00:24:06] To Chris. Okay. Um, I can have a look at it. Okay. All right, well. And I'll just have to use this one in the meantime and conjure a unmade of shadow. Okay. Then I'll turn my whip over. Yeah. And she will- And then four days pass and she brings me back a good one. We'll see. Um, uh, I'll roll for that. Okay. See if she does. Uh.

[00:24:39] I wanna get haaaaaaayyyy. Yeah, on the fourth day you guys- Uh, a little bit before the fourth day you guys, uh, hit the coastline of Zendr. And began moving inland, um, above the busy traded seas of blue for seas of green. Um, as the, uh, the jungle below just kind of consumes everything.

[00:25:08] Um, in fact, um, uh, just do a little bit of a blurred key. Or woods, or should be. I see trees of green. Trees of green too. Yeah. I see more trees. And they are green as well. And they are green as well. And they are green as well. They are trees. I think to myself, I'm lost in these woods.

[00:25:37] That is actually really appropriate. Um, making nature chat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, you guys, uh, do finally, um, like, it's just endless green and mountains. And, uh, by about mid-afternoon on the fourth day, um, the captain orders a halt of the airship. Uh, as you guys, uh, come up on the deck, you see that, um, uh, you see the ruins of a jungle temple poking through the trees. Um, and... So, just the tip?

[00:26:06] Yeah, just the tip. Yep. I know what I said. Um, and, uh, some of the deckhands begin, um, drawing their heads. Dropping an anchor, uh, toward the, uh, the temple. And lowering a, uh, rope ladder. Um, to a, uh, small clearing kind of in front of... There's a bit of a, uh, kind of a glen, um, on the side of the part of the temple that's still exposed.

[00:26:33] And, um, they, uh, drop the ladder down to that way. And, uh, as you guys are kind of getting ready on the deck, uh, Captain Twila comes out and is like, Uh, well, we will, we will remain here, uh, until we hear back from you, or until about, uh, 42 hours. And then, in which case, uh, we may send somebody down, um, to pick up your bodies and loop. Um... I'm sorry. But, uh, we, I wish you well. Honestly, that's fair. Yeah. I mean, usually it's 24 hours, but, uh, I like you guys.

[00:27:04] That's very kind of you. Almost sounds like you're standing against us on a suicide mission, though, here. A little bit, a little bit. Well, I mean, I did say earlier that, uh, that you're likely all going to die. Mm-hmm. And that's why I had you sign that paperwork, don't you remember? Oh, yeah. So I can't sue you, right? Exactly. Yeah. And you've given me the proper 225,000 gold pieces. I am too soon on me. Wow.

[00:27:35] There. Anyway, moving on. Um, so, uh, yeah, the, uh, you guys, um, are descending down from the airship, I take it? Like, via the, the rope ladder? Yes. As you guys descend down the rope ladder and eventually get to the bottom, like, to the ground, um, floor, or to the ground floor of this jungle, um, in front of this ancient ruin, um, you see the following.

[00:28:01] An enormous set of stairs rises from the jungle floor to a mammoth entry hall, to a mammoth entry hall lined with gargantuan stone pillars. Alongside these stairs, a long flight of steps carved to a more manageable size climbs to the massive stone platform. To the left of the... To the left of the...

[00:28:28] To the left of the entry hall stands several adobe huts. These huts are jumbled together in a structure resembling a beehive. There are... That's a petty gap. There are at least four vertical layers between the great statue, or the great stone platform and the crumbling ceiling above it. Uh, though the upper layers appear decrepit and unused. Just...

[00:29:00] So... Uh, that is, uh, what you see as you, uh, make ground fall. Okay. So, what's living the huts? Um, that is a good question. Maybe we should roll a perception test to look around. See if you can see any signs of movement or such. Sixteen? Uh, sixteen, okay.

[00:29:30] Fifteen. Fifteen. Fourteen. Fourteen. Fourteen. Okay, so I'm just sending order there.

[00:29:45] Um, so, uh, Kirklus, you do spot a couple of, um, uh, up on the platform, like near the huts and above, near the platform, and you see a handful of, um, of heads kind of poking up, black and white heads, um, sort of poking over between, like, the walls or, like, um, even over the floor, over the platform itself.

[00:30:10] Um, so they've, you guys are, they're, they meet them, you brought an airship over their fucking place, so, like, they... That was not subtle. Yeah, it was not subtle at all. This isn't Adobe, this is Cobb! The construction of the mud bricks. Cause I probably didn't notice anything. Cause my role wasn't... I guess, yeah, I guess, yeah. You're like, wait a minute.

[00:30:38] Do we need to roll perception on what you're saying? But Cobb and Adobe are quite similar. I feel like it's an insight check, actually. Yeah, that's true. What was it? That's right. He asked if we had to roll a perception on what the hell he was talking about. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But no, it was actually an insight. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, and yeah, so are you guys going to try... Like, they're not, they're not, at the moment, they're not doing anything. It's not from watching you guys, but are you going to ascend the stairs? And which one?

[00:31:07] There are, there is a set of giant stairs, and there's a set of medium-sized creature stairs that goes along the side of it. I'm going to ascend the medium-sized creature stairs and call out, Cousins! I come from across the sea! I wish to parlay! I'm going to take the giant stairs because there's lots of them. Okay, you're going to roll climb jacks. Every time you try to go up one, you have to roll climb jacks. Because... On every step.

[00:31:35] The giant steps, a smaller, the smaller stairs require two squares of movement per five feet to ascend, and allow decent, uh, decent at, er, allow descent at normal speed. The giant-sized stairs cannot be traversed with normal movement. Each stair is five feet high. Medium characters can reach the top of the stairs and pull themselves up by making a climb check for each of the five stairs.

[00:32:05] Um, small creatures can climb... They're five feet high. That's not that big. I have a ring of jumping. It's still like, you still need to climb. Mm-hmm. I have a ring of jumping. I should be able to just hop up. Okay, you know, that's fair, yeah. If you have a ring of jumping, then you can just hop up that. Okay. But you have to hop up every platform. There's like five... There's like five steps. Okay. Okay, uh, so are you... Is that what you're doing? Or is he calling for his, uh, like, calling out to his, uh, his, his distant relations? Yes. Great. Love it. Don't split the party.

[00:32:34] Take disadvantage on your, uh, your persuasion roll. Don't mind Frogger here. He's fine. Take disadvantage on your persuasion roll as he attempts to, uh, do this. Persuasion. 12? 12? Roll reflex, or, uh, dex save. Both of you. 20. 20? Okay.

[00:33:05] 15. Okay. Um, so, you both narrowly, uh, dog... Oh, you, you definitely dodge out of the way, because you stop coming. So, as soon as your, your friends like hop in there, he's like, this isn't gonna work. Um, and, it's not errors that they throw at you. Uh, as you hear out. It's a poop. Bulls? This three-pronged, bladed boomerang. Claves! Comes swinging down to hit you guys, and as you miss it, it comes swinging back around to the It's a fucking Zendrick boomerang.

[00:33:35] It's a star night. When it comes back, that's exactly what I told you they were statted in this game. Uh, you can roll a, uh, you can roll to try and catch it. Since you got a, not a nat 20, but a 20, you get it into the dodge. Ah, nine? You don't catch it. If there's one, you probably would have lost your hand. Yeah. I have my bullwhip. Can I try to grab it? Roll your deck. I was a little bit excited. A little bit.

[00:34:05] A little bit. Two. Yeah. Um, and uh, yeah, you hear some, uh, some calls from above, uh, from the, the, the, from the grout. Um, and they, they kind of come out of, uh, partially come out of cover. Um, and, uh, like, they, uh, they start basically readying their boomerangs again. Uh, and they call out and it's like, if you, you're able to understand them, the rest of you, unless you speak Sylvan in some degree, or even under common. You're not going to get this. I know comprehend languages.

[00:34:34] Okay, then you, fine. Uh, they, well, then you, you hear perfectly. It's like, um, leave this place or we will put your heads on spikes for, for the others. I know comprehend languages, but I'm not going to use it. Okay. So then you just. I can just translate for you. Yeah. Okay. It'd be kind of hard for them to put my head on a spike. It's kind of hard. Leave place. I am hard headed. Um, heads on spikes. Other ones.

[00:35:03] Cousins, I come in peace, but I have to put every one of you in the ground. I won't hesitate. All right. Now we're in combat. No persuasion? No. Intimidation? I could translate that back for him. So they specifically know. Intimidation. Intimidation. You're proficient in intimidation. I am. Oh, nine. Do they understand his language? Um, yeah, combat. Do they understand his language? Yeah, they understand part of it. Okay. Just not at all. I speak Elvin.

[00:35:31] It's a mix between Elvin and under comment since it's drought. Okay, so I might understand the odd word here and there, but. Um, so yeah, combat guys. Uh, initiatives. How does your initiative go up, by the way? Because mine stayed the same and I've been leveled. It's your, um, dex. It's literally just your dex. It's just dex. Okay, yeah. I'm going to drought. I think I get bonuses on that. You probably should. Ten! Oh! Okay, that maybe. All right. Oh, wow. I'm going to go back on the ship.

[00:36:01] You're going to go back on the ladder. Do you have rubbing alcohol? Um, I might. Where? I want to go find it. Why? Why? Because I have a mosquito bite that's driving me insane and I scratch it so raw that now if I clean it with rubbing alcohol it won't itch anymore. Okay. Or do you have afterbite? Uh, I'll check. It's just in a very uncomfortable spot. Fair enough. It's right on his dick. Yup.

[00:36:31] Cause I was standing outside with my pants off. As one does. So, how was everyone's week? I experienced beige. Did you? Yes. Hell yeah. I mean the weather in my neck. It was not a good week. It was a pretty good week for me. You got to stay home all week. Lucky back. Went to the gun range on Wednesday. Yeah. How was that anyway?

[00:37:01] It was good. It was good. Did you get the Wednesday night thing? How was the turnout? I thought I could get this edited. Uh, this uh, uh, the background noise but I'm gonna put the flat on cause for the AC on cause I'm dying. Over there under the light. Alright, uh, what's the initiative do you guys? Three. Three. Cause I rolled a one. Okay. Six. Because I rolled a three. Kirklus? Seventeen. Okay, I guess I'll roll for one.

[00:37:31] Cause I rolled a four. What? It's not that good. Oh, actually I need the uh, I don't need that.

[00:38:05] What are you looking for today? Artificer spells. Ah. Cause I had the ability to have one more. So I might as well have one more.

[00:38:44] Okay, so Kirklus your top. Uh, named Fintan, Fintant. And I wrote my type in his name. Fair. Uh, at least you didn't put Fintaint. Fintant. Okay.

[00:39:11] So initiatives are, Kirklus goes first. As the drought tribals begin. Um, just their assault upon you. There are, uh, you can currently see about six of them in about half cover. Um, as a result of like them being on the high ground above, like on a platform above you guys. And um, behind their huts and such. It so doesn't matter.

[00:39:41] Who's the leader? Can I tell? Roll an insight. Start throwing pepper at them. They're seasoning us. Sixteen. Sixteen? Yeah. Um, yeah you see one that has a little bit more of a, like a headdress. They're all, like I said earlier, uh, like you saw, uh, read in the, in the, the books, um, that, uh, Twilo had on in his, on a ship.

[00:40:07] Um, these drought are like regular, like drought from regular D&D, except they have carved scar, uh, tattoos all over their body to kind of pale their skin. So they kind of have this like, uh, these weird like pale patterns all over their flesh. Okay. Has the leader done anything yet? Is he active in combat? Not yet. Okay, then fuck him. So I wasn't looking at that, I was looking at my dog just farting in the background. Was that what that was? Yeah, I thought that was Aaron. No.

[00:40:34] All right, so I'm gonna take the minus five to go for the, uh, the plus ten damage. Okay. And I'm going to shoot that fucker in the face. Okay. Seventeen, twelve. Twelve damage? Seventeen. No, twelve, no, twelve to hit. Twelve to hit. Okay. Because I took the minus five because I'm stupid. And then it'll below average. Twice. That hits because they weren't able to get their major armor off yet. Ha ha ha ha ha. Okay.

[00:41:04] That's what they were gonna do with. There we have. Sneak attack. Damage dice. Right, because I haven't gone yet. So you get sneak attack on them. Nineteen. Twenty-three. Thirty-three damage on that one. Okay. It's not dead.

[00:41:30] But definitely, like, uh, she goes to like, like, she's like definitely getting ready to do some kind of magic and then you basically like shoot her in her good hand, in her staff hand, her staff arm, like around the shoulder area. And she like kind of drops off, like behind the hut she was at. So, uh, but she does not appear, uh, you don't think it was a killing shot. So how much damage is that? Thirty-three. Thirty-three.

[00:42:03] Without blowing any powers. Damn. Uh, okay. Uh, next up is, um, one of the, the, the Drow warriors. Um, they are going to continue assault, uh, assaulting all of you with their, uh, Zendrick boomerangs. Um, so, uh, uh. So like, does it have a bunch of holes in it, a little reservoir that it keeps salt in, so that one spins over us? You're gonna, you're getting hit, you're getting attacked.

[00:42:30] You just, that was you, uh, like pulling aggro. Yeah, that's exactly what I do. And that is going to be twenty-one. I don't think so. So where's the, where's the, uh, Zendrick, uh, boomerang machine, this book? Uh, I mean it's Eberron maybe. Uh, I don't know if there's much equipment in there.

[00:42:59] Well, something might be gears. I don't remember. I have it written on my sheet, but I don't know if I updated it from the last time. Cause I have a breast plate now. Breasts. A breasts plate, sorry. Breast plate gives me...

[00:43:39] There's no, no, it doesn't... Ah, I don't have to find a line with a 5D center. Actually, I'm just gonna use what, this one has, okay. Oh, twenty-one. Yep, you met it! Okay. Um, uh, okay.

[00:44:09] That's gonna be twelve, or... As it just kind of sinks into you. But it doesn't go back to his own. You caught one! You did it! Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the thing, that is the thing that happens. Yeah, it's water water. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Um, alright. Alright.

[00:44:39] And uh, do they get another shot? They get another shot! As another Zendro boomerang comes out. But I caught it! He has a couple, they have stacks of them. There's a huge pile of them. He just keeps a pile of them nearby. Yeah. Yeah. Um, uh, nineteen? No. Okay, that one misses. That one flies past you and kind of wraps around as you miss it, or as it misses you.

[00:45:09] Okay. And it goes back to the owner. So, uh, next one is another drow. Uh, he's gonna target copper. Mm-hmm. Are you actually trying to get, go back to the ladder? No. Okay. I said that just because of how poorly I rolled. That would've been hilarious. Yeah. Uh, that is going to be, uh, that one's probably gonna miss, cause it's like, uh, eleven? Okay. And, never mind. What? Never mind. Continue. Continue. Continue. Okay. But yes. Give me a second.

[00:45:40] And then, it misses again, cause I'm gonna put basically the same thing. Cool. So, I'm just staying there. Oh, wait, no. Sorry. I thought that was a six. That's a nine. Um, so sixteen hit you? No. Okay. So, both times it swings around and misses. Me and Robert just standing there, just, whoo-hoo-ching, whoo-hoo-ching, just in the ground. Well, no, they're not, cause it was, when that won, that would have been the case, like they would've gone. Oh yeah, they went back to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, so the next one is, um, another, it's actually the spellcaster.

[00:46:07] He's, uh, she comes, she pipes back up, like, her arm, like, kinda dangling, and she's using her off hand with a staff. Uh, and she's going to attempt, um, Aaron, I have to ask, do you have in your spell cards black tentacles? Yeah. That's a core spell. Okay. Why, you need it? Yep. Okay. Uh, big black tentacles? Hevard's black tentacles of massatruity.

[00:46:38] Oh my. Evan's spiked tentacles of forced intrusion. Yeah. Massatruity, oh god. Like, oh my god. It's so uncomfortable. That's an AOE version of it. I feel violent. Did it just hit every orifice? Yeah. Uh, that should be a level four spell, I think. Uh, four or five. Yeah, it's fourth level according to my spell listing here.

[00:47:21] Okay, so, uh, yeah, she basically, um, like conjures up some dark magics, and then, um, uh, the 20 feet around Kirklus and Copper. Are you guys in the same area? No, they both started walking up the... Yeah, so around Copper. Yeah. Um, tentacles basically just kind of start forming, um, around you. Okay.

[00:47:45] Um, for, uh, basically, for the duration of this, uh, spell, um, the ground, uh, is now considered different terrain. Uh, and when a creature enters it, uh, the affected area, for the first time, um, they, uh, the creature must succeed a dexterity saving throw, uh, or be attacked by the lieutenant. Okay. So, two dex saving throws? Cause Rob as well. Yep.

[00:48:19] Oh, that's unfortunate. Yep, that was the Copper one, that's the Rob one. Um, they're both really bad, honestly. Like, both of them. Okay, we're gonna soak your dice in rum. It worked for Adam and David. Mm-hmm. So you're both good. Yeah. Okay. I got that one on one of them.

[00:48:49] So, yeah, 13 bludgeoning damage. Mm-hmm. Uh, and you are being restrained by the tentacles. You are now in a, um, tentacle porn movie. Yep. And that's, that's just one of you guys. A robot tentacle porn movie. Hmm? That was just the, uh, one of you guys. So, what you, you, you, you failed, uh, for Gundam fan fiction.

[00:49:15] And, if that was for Copper, for Rob, it's, uh, ten damage. Okay. Ten bludgeoning damage is your coiled up. Oh, that's good. Oh, I think I've been doing Rob's deaths differently, because on the companion sheet, there is rolls for death saves. Oh. Okay. I don't know if that works for, um, like non, for like a construct, uh, companion compared to a living one, but I don't know. Okay. Either way. Yeah. That's my turn. Okay.

[00:49:43] That's actually, that's just what the, the, the mage is doing. Uh. I mean, he's fine alive. Cause as far as we're concerned, Rob is alive. Yeah. He's, he's alive the same way I'm alive as well. Yeah. Cause we're both fricking constructs. So, next up is. How dare you? Well, next up is, uh, a, another, um, drow warrior who's going to attack Hercules. That's going to be twenty-five? Miss. What? No. Roll again.

[00:50:13] What? Roll again. I hear you, I fucked your sister. I'm going to cast Silvery Barbs. Really? Yep. Nat one. Okay. It's like, what? It goes, that one goes flying up into the jungle somewhere. And then. Excellent. The next one's going to attack, it's attacking it with a second attack. Actually, would it attack him on the second you go? Or would it change targets?

[00:50:43] I did mention that I fucked his sister. So I think it's attacking you and it got fun. In Elvin. So I mean, you might've even understood what I said. Yeah. Twenty-five to hit. That'll hit. Okay. Five damage. Okay. The minimum damage. And next up is another drow warrior. How many of these guys are here? There are six drow warriors. Oh my.

[00:51:14] Also, a copper, you got this. You have advantage on whatever you do next. Okay. This one was attacking Kirklus and it missed. Because I rolled like three. That one is probably going to hit you. I think that's going to be 23. Yeah. So that is going to be 10 damage.

[00:51:46] And, uh, Fintan! So where are- So you see we're like leaping up the- So I'd say you're about halfway up the steps so that you're- Uh, actually- Oh, this actually just happened. Okay, cool. Um, so you were actually probably about- Um, yeah, you were about, um- Six hundred feet. No, no, it's actually more like-

[00:52:16] More like seven- Thirty or forty feet. Um, with- And they have, uh, partial cover. Hmm, I can't clear that distance. I mean it could, but that would be a- Use of slots that I don't want to use at this time. Okay.

[00:52:41] Um, yeah, I'm just going to steadily move in closer, cast Armor of Agathys on myself. Okay. It immediately begins steaming. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Because of the jungle heat. And, uh, I guess that's it. Okay. Um, then, uh, next up is the last of the Drow, Warriors. That goes between Fintan and Copper. Mm-hmm. And it's going to attack Fintan. Okay.

[00:53:14] Uh, first shot, sixteen. To hit? Yeah. Stick and hit. That one might do it. Um, twenty. Nope. Okay, that one misses. Um, and, uh, next up is Copper. Sure. Cool. So, how big is the area of tentacles?

[00:53:42] Uh, it's a twenty-foot, uh, area. And I move half speed in here? Yeah. So, it's going to take me- For as long as it lasts. Which is, I've been told- Unless one of your buddies is able to kill that sorcerer, or that, uh, wizard. Next turn she's dead. Don't worry about it. Yeah, fair enough. Um. If I don't move, do they not attack me? You can, uh, fight them. Uh, you can't actually break free of them. Um. Um. Right, cause they're actually- Well, they strike their dex check. Uh, your choice against their spell of saving throw. Oh, right, because-

[00:54:12] So, they didn't just, like, tentacles slap me. They grabbed me, right? Yeah, they're like- So I have to get out of this. Okay. Um. Um. Um. Am I able to, um, experience retreat with Rob or just myself? Uh. So, experience- Expedious retreat- Or is that not what I'm thinking it is? Uh. Uh. Yeah, no. Uh, experience retreat- A little, a little, a little, increases your speed. Oh, okay. Uh, you're thinking, uh, Misty Sep or Dimdor.

[00:54:42] Yes.

[00:55:15] Um. I'll reach over and, um, can I cast Misty Step while being grabbed? Uh. Verbal component only. There's no reason why you can't. Okay. Then, yeah. I'll attempt to reach over and grab Rob by whatever I can on him. And then, cast Misty Step to teleport ahead 30 feet. As I- My- Our bodies turn into mist, I suppose, and weave through all the tentacles and pop out just outside the range.

[00:55:44] Okay. So does he- well, do you still not have to like- you have to grab Rob? I don't know if I have to. I'm just doing that for flavor. Okay. He does have to- you do have to touch Rob. Okay. So do I have to roll to do it? You have to- You have to be in strength or dex to like- Okay. Like, even if not to like break through your potential. Just see if I can grab him. Get him. Okay. Strength or dex? Yeah. Your choice. I mean, it's the same regardless. 19? Uh, 19. Well, you're able to grab Rob. Excellent.

[00:56:13] So I grab him and all of our metallic and stone bits all turn into mist and you teleport out there and then- But not the wood, so you're in- Yeah, the wood stays in there. I'll get that later. They just become boneless. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I got your forearms and just crumples. Yeah. You're no longer an armored group. No. But yeah, okay, so we appear on the other side of that. I will- I'll flip it off behind my back and-

[00:56:40] So ahead of me there's six drow and also a boss. There are- No, no, there are six drow including the boss. Including the boss. However, as you misty step and land back onto the front- Terrafirma away from those tentacles- Yes. You do hear a rumbling. Or you do feel a rumbling under your feet. I had a rumbly in my tumblee. Do I have a direction? Uh, it's the ground. Cool. So, um, as- Are you done your turn? No, that's just my bonus action. Yeah, that's what you- You feel that though. Yeah. Okay. Cool. You'd probably appreciate it.

[00:57:10] Next. Okay, so then, um, what's the- are they clumped up up there or are they kind of spread out? They're spread out. Yeah. Basically they're right like this. Like this is kind of like- so they're off- like they're adobe homes or like- or huts are all right here. I don't know if adobe's the right word. It's actually- Is it actually? It's a type of plaster. Okay. Like adobe huts are actually- It's basically mud and straw. Yeah. And clay. And like dry. It's actually out of like a natural way. Yeah. Um, but yeah, their huts are like somewhere over here and like they're kind of twin like these columns and stuff at the top.

[00:57:41] So they've got a bit of an advantage over you guys because that's like- They have height and cover? Yeah. Okay. Like you're basically just seeing like half their bodies or even their heads like over the uh, the ledge at the top. Okay. Hmm. Maybe I should've just dimmed or to- in hindsight. Yeah. Surprise! Yeah, a little bit. But that's fine. Yeah. Um. Well, I mean, technically you could because misty step is a bonus- oh no, they're both level spells. Nevermind.

[00:58:11] Mm-hmm. Because one is a bonus action and one is an action. Yeah, so you could use both. If I wanted to. You can't though because uh, you can only cast one leveled spell per turn. Oh, okay. I could use a cantrip now if I wanted to though. You could cast a cantrip now if you wanted to. Okay. Hmm.

[00:58:57] Hmm. So, if you want to put a 10 foot range, 120 foot maximum range. So for every instance of 40 I'm taking negative one? No, uh, it's anything past 40 you're taking disadvantage. Yeah. Oh, okay. Gotcha. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'll take a swing. Which particular one you're targeting? Um. You have five warrior looking ones and uh, one spell casting on the staff. Any of them that look injured?

[00:59:26] Uh, the wizard or the mage. Yeah. I'll leave the mage. I'll pick another random one. Just the next closest one to the mage. Okay. One that's not in cover because you said some of them are in cover and shit. They're all in partial cover. Okay. Does that- Um. What does that do? Increase their uh- Actually, if they're all in partial cover, fuck that, I'm not shooting. I am using- Yeah, that's- No. Yeah, that's- If they're all- Learn to load Snellock's snowball swarm into your gun. Yeah, that's my secret weapon. Honestly, it just- It's not a secret weapon.

[00:59:54] Honestly, it just gives them a plus two bonus to their AC. Mm-hmm. Regardless, if they're all in partial cover, I would not do that because I would use a spell because I have spell sniper which lets me ignore partial cover and increase my range. Gotcha. So I will use ray of frost, which is- What was the damage on that? Aaron, can you get me some pizza? Sure. I could use some more slices. I have some good pizza. It is. It is. Oh, there's no pizza left. Are you serious?

[01:00:24] I mean, I wouldn't be surprised. You've been eating a lot more. I only ate till there was half of the pizza left. This episode brought to you by Pizzaville. Please sponsor us. Please. Oh, I miss Ross the boss. We really do vote for your product. It's excellent. You know, if this was 15 years ago, I could have gotten a sponsored by Pizzaville.

[01:00:50] Because, A, I lived across the street from Pizzaville and I was there all the time. They loved me. Sometimes I'd even pay with beer. Interesting. Chris, what was the name of my multi-tool guy? I just remember the accent. Clippit? Oh, hi. No. I can't remember his name. It was a joke on Leatherman. Because he's like a multi-tool.

[01:01:19] I didn't know. Either way, I'm casting through him. What? Me? Yeah. As I pull him out and he looks like a wrench or something or a screwdriver. And as the tip gets all frosty and a bolt of ice goes out and hits for... What was that? But when the wither and side is crap for me. What? Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. 17 to hit?

[01:01:55] Um... No. Really? Yeah. Goddamn. You've been targeting the mage. No, I wasn't. No, I was. Yes. Oh, okay. Well, goddamn. It goes wide. But that's fine. So that is my turn. Okay. And from other action, I will... Tell Rob to run up ahead, I guess, actually. Okay. Because I'm down here by myself right now. Yeah. Well, not for long.

[01:02:24] As top of the round, roll a dex save. Okay. Not proficient in that. Excellent. Fuck. You are, um... Hit with...

[01:02:52] Sorry, did you remember that you have advantage? Technically, that was on my missy step. No. Because it's not something that you make an attack roll, a saving throw, or something else. Well, I rolled a two on my second one. Oh shit. I'm rolling sub ten constantly.

[01:03:08] You're working with five damage of dirt and rock as a large, shelled land shark just bursts out of the ground behind you and lets out a deep drumming roar. A land shark, you say? Yeah, you have just encountered a blit. I'm dipping into these days, which aren't even mine. I'm using a different d20 because mine are cursed. Where'd they go?

[01:03:39] They're cursed ones. All of these? All of these have been rolling terribly. Alright. Even like the new one, because I bought a new set. We're just going to get them drunk. Yeah, okay, that works. You laugh. Dave, like Adam's put his in bourbon last week, and they started giving him twos and three sixes at a time. So like... Okay, now you have to drink the rum. Oh, of course, yeah.

[01:04:08] They have to get drunk first. No. You don't need to take the dice off. No. No, you drink the rum with the dice still in it, and then you go rinse the dice off and... Swallow the dice, let them go through your system, crack them out of a toilet, and say, that's what you get. Now you are what you are! Alright, so the blit... So sorry, what did it do to me? It just emerged from the ground and took dirt and rocks at you, so you took five damage from that. Okay.

[01:04:37] But it also, its initiative is a 20, so it's going first. Of course it is. That's fucking rude. Blit. Blit? Blit. So yeah, it's going to attack you. Yeah, it's just going to like leap at you and bite you.

[01:05:09] I expect nothing less. Oh lord. That is going to be... I'm scrolling like shit today. Uh huh. You want to say that around me? Thirteenth hit you? No. Okay, then it doesn't hit you. Excellent. That would have been really bad.

[01:05:41] I'm not reading it, I'm looking at you. I don't care. Damn, okay. Yeah. No, nevermind. I'm good. Yeah, it doesn't have a multi-attack like all the other things, so yeah. Crickless, you're right. Okay, I'm going to finish off that shaman. Okay. I'm going to designate my quarry. I'm going to use my movement to ascend the stairs. Okay. Does that get him out of partial cover? Um...

[01:06:09] Yeah, but if you're like ascending, yeah, you'll... You're basically getting closer to cover, or getting closer to them. The elevation is their cover, effectively.

[01:06:19] So they no longer have... Uh, like ice rock. Probably like a... Like a whiskey stone. Whiskey stones, but with... out of dice. Yeah, that'd be cool. Yeah.

[01:06:52] Uh... I really should use my shepherds on that one. It's fine. Twenty-six to hit? Twenty-six? Um, that will definitely hit. Ten... Eighteen... Twenty-one... Twenty-two... Twenty-six. How do you want to use? Just right through the left eyeball. Yeah. Just pinned him to the wall behind himself. It let...

[01:07:22] It embeds her head right into the... The stone column that she was like above... In front of. So... Uh, yeah, she's dead and uh... Good news! The ground around the... The stair... The bottom of the stairs... Is no longer full of like a twenty-foot area of... Of tentacles. Isn't that exactly where the creature came out though too? No, no, it... It like came out like away from that. Okay. Yeah. Cause I just got out of that. Yeah, you just got out of that. And then I got hit. And then I got attacked. Um... Yeah, so... Yeah, the...

[01:07:51] The tentacles dissipate immediately. Um, as she dies. Okay, so I'm gonna call it one more time. Mm-hmm. Give it up or die. Um... They... Roll... You can roll on intimidation. Do I have advantage? Cause it just skewered one? Yeah. Mandolin. He's a badass! Twenty-four? He is in fact going to rock you. Like a hurricane.

[01:08:21] Like a hurricane. They wish it was like a hurricane. No, this is more like a tornado. Just one target. Um... So the drought... One of the drought... Um... The one that was near the mage... Calls back. And it's like... This is hallowed ground. You are interlopers here. Leave. And we will not attack any further. That was not what I said. I knock another arrow. Okay. Cause you get another shot. Mm-hmm. What?

[01:08:52] Pretty sure you do. I'm only a level five ranger. Yeah, you're a level five ranger. You get two attacks. I do? Yes! I got level five. Or I got two attacks at my level five. Oh, okay. So it's probably the same for you. Alright, so fuck that guy. Yeah, cause you're a martial class. Sixteen? That does not hit. I'm sure he's scared though. Whoa!

[01:09:21] Um... But, uh... Alright. Next up is... Uh... Alright, that one's dead. Um... One of the other ones, not the one that you were talking to, or that was talking back to you, is going to throw a... one of the boomerangs at you guys. Alright, you Kirklus. I mean that's fair. Um, that's gonna be... 12?

[01:09:50] That misses two. Um... Um... And then the next one... It's just a barrage of fucking... Like, boomerangs going through. A little bit. That is completely fair. Yep. Um... That's going to be, um... 20? Yep. That one hits. Okay. Uh, that'll be seven damage. And he attacks again.

[01:10:20] This time... I think that's... 15 damage. Nope. Okay. Okay, so that one's not... Uh, next one. Uh, that is going to be a 21. Yep. Okay. Sorry, I can't protect you from that. Eight damage.

[01:10:50] And it attacks again. Oh, uh, 25? Yep. So... That's ten. That's more... You're just getting hit with boomerangs. Um... The next one does not attack you. It attacks, um... Uh, it attacks, uh... Best of luck. What? Am I not good enough? No, it's just... He was close enough, didn't he? It's the one that I insulted earlier. Yeah.

[01:11:20] Uh, and that is going to be a, um... Uh, 19. Nope. Okay. 14 to hit. Nope. Um, okay. Um... Fintan, you're up. Okay. How close am I now? Uh, at this point you are probably about, uh, 20... 20 to 10 feet away from them. Okay. And you have, like...

[01:11:50] With the exception of, like, one or two of the, like, the ones that are, like, on the far end, like, when you have the adobe huts, you have, uh, there's... Like, they don't have any cover, like, otherwise. Okay. Well, I'm going to, uh, close the distance while conjuring the sun sword. Okay. And... Or... Sun blade. Yeah. And, uh... The lightsaber. And, uh... And, yeah. Yeah. Fuck that guy. I'm going to, uh, come in and... Well, I mean, move it quickly.

[01:12:18] So I'm going to break into a bit of a slide and, you know, thrust for the knee. Okay. End his adventuring career. 15 plus 10, 25. 25. Damn. Um... Yeah, you hit him. Okay. Let's see what's his castle up.

[01:13:03] They're, uh, mage castle. Also, you just did not hit any of these guys. It's like, uh, the, uh, castor. Oh, I forgot to hex him first. That's fine. I don't need to waste a hex.

[01:13:34] 19 plus... 6. 25. 25 damage. Okay. One second. Uh, yeah. You hit him and, uh, he drops... He takes a knee and he's like, ah! Okay. Alright. So he takes it to the knee.

[01:13:58] And then I'm going to, um, come up on my feet hard with a, uh, upward slash uppercut. See if we can take him right through the face. Okay. Cool. Uh, 12 plus 10, 22. That hits.

[01:14:39] Uh, 8 and 6 is 14 plus 6... 18. 18. Uh, okay. What? You gave him a knife, you gave him a fresh new scar, basically. The, the, right up the, from leg to the face. I gave him a knife he'll never forget. Like his sister. Yeah, he just bares his teeth like angrily at you.

[01:15:07] Like there's a nice fresh cut right through his lips. Um, uh, but he looks like ravenously angry at you. Funny, not the only blade I put between the lips of your family. How fucking can you? In perfect common. Yeah. It's the only phrase he knows. Yeah. He learned from one of the other adventures that they've killed. Mm. Um. Um, okay.

[01:15:32] Uh, next up is, uh, the one that you've been talking to is like, and, um, yeah, no, he's just going to, um, it's like, um, it's like, we have the scorpion god on our side. You will fall like the rest of them. And he throws another, another meringue. I could use some healing.

[01:16:00] I could use to not being attacked in a round so I could do a thing. Um, I'm pretty sure that hits you at like twenty-one? Yes. Let's roll the other one just to see if... Okay, that's a five so that's probably not going to hit you at twelve. How hard are you looking? I would be bloodied if that was still a thing. Um, you're a ten. Another ten? Another ten. I'm very bloodied. Okay. You do have potions. I do have potions? You should.

[01:16:29] Copper! Because we had a number of potions and I split them out among the party. I don't remember how much everyone has right now. I could find out if you want. So out of the moderate health potions, I've used two, Finn has used one, and there are three left.

[01:16:56] So you would at least have one moderate health potion on you, probably a light one as well. Would you use how much? The moderate is 4d4 plus 4. The light one is 2d4 plus 2. And they can be drunk as a bonus action. So you probably have one each. So my turn? Okay, so this giant monster just popped up in front of me? Yep. Do you want a picture of it? Sure.

[01:17:27] Or at least they used to, I don't know if it's still pretty cool. I do like bullets. Bullet bill. That's kind of cool. It's a giant armored launcher. Phew. Quickly read the stats. If you want to see its bite attack, it's pretty bad. It's gonna hurt. If it bites you. So yeah, I'm gonna tell Rob to not run up there and help my friends anymore.

[01:17:57] To attack this instead. That'd be a better thing to do. Um. I'm sorry, you're gonna lose Rob? Oh, probably. I'll lose myself. Like, what? I need him here because if nothing else, he imposes disadvantage on melee attacks. So yeah. Which is a sizable chunk of your value. Yeah. For sure. It's right on my grill though? Mhm. Cool. I would rather it not be.

[01:18:31] So do all that face with such times. Yup. Yup. Do I know anything about this creature? Um. I don't know, roll it. You could roll a Knowledge Arcana. Okay. 23. Um. Well, you know it's a, it's a, it's no aberration right there. It's actually like a natural monstrosity. Yeah. Um. My natural.

[01:19:01] My natural. Um. You, uh. That's literally all I'm trying, all I'm trying to get into the moment is. It doesn't seem to have any weaknesses or defense or strengths. Okay. Oh no, nevermind. Oh no, no, no. Um. Nevermind, it is completely on fire. No, no, that's not what I meant. It is like, apparently um, there is a, a note here for like, arcane patients on Siege of the Eagle that was the result of a mad-worthy experimentation.

[01:19:29] Cross, crossbreeding a snapping turtle with an armadillo and infusing it with demonic icor. Thanks. I hate it. Yeah, a little bit. Um. Yeah, it basically, it's, it's a land, it literally has, it, you, you know it by its other name, it's the Land Shark. It's, it's tough, it's big, and it hurts. Um. It also can really jump. One might even call it a street shark. Yeah.

[01:19:59] Well, if it was, if it was an urban environment, yes. So you gotta, you gotta transport, you gotta tranquilize this and transport it back to Sharn. Sleep. To Sharn. No. That'd be terrible. We'll take it back to a shot. It'll be our mascot. Until we become a, a metropolis, and then it'll be a, an urban legend. An urban legend. The street shark. It's all part with like... There'll be a whole gang named after him. Yeah.

[01:20:27] You're really making me wanna just cast sleep on this thing. Super high level sleep attack. It would, I think it might have to be like a spry level to do this. I did just get a fifth level spell slot. I could cast sleep at fifth level. Yeah, if you want. An additional 2d8 per slot. Oh. Yeah, I actually, I was gonna chromatic orbit, but I'll get more benefit out of the sleeping as. I will say, you know it's just an animal.

[01:20:55] Like, it's not like an evil or like an, it has no alignment to that too. Okay. So it's just, it's just a creature. It probably just, it heard you guys land like onto the ground and thought, pray. Cool. Alright. It thought, eat, pray, love. Yeah. It better fucking pray. Okay, so, uh, I don't believe I actually have to roll to hit it with this. It just works. Does it not have to roll something?

[01:21:22] That is correct, but you have to roll your dice to see how many hit points worth of animal you've bet. Yeah, and I don't think it has any disadvantage to it. Like, it can't do anything against it. I don't think so. Spell sense creatures in magical slumber, 5d8 total is how many hit points of creatures the spell can affect. Creatures within 20 feet, um, within range, blah blah blah blah blah. Each creature affected the spell, if it's unconscious, so the spell ends, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

[01:21:53] It doesn't say anything about them having any sort of... No, it doesn't say they get a will save? No. Okay. They don't get a will save. It does say see page 276 after it, so if you want to read more onto that, you can. Okie dokie. Okay, we'll roll the, um, start rolling your dice, because you've got a lot to roll. What are they? D8s? Yeah. So you have to drop it, basically it's a... I need to have this attack be enough to kill it, quote unquote.

[01:22:22] That's, ok, that's going to be interesting. I think. Cause it's... Yeah, pretty much. Cause you have to equal or exceed its current hit points. Ok. Which is full. It hasn't been hurt yet. But it's a lot of dice. It's going to be a lot... Ok, how many... Ok. Is this theoretically possible though? Well, let's learn how many dice do you need to roll? I need to roll five, um... Hang on. Is this first level? Yeah. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen. Thirteen. Thirteen D8s. Thirteen D8s?

[01:22:52] You can do it, technically. Technically. Technically. Technically you can do it if you rolled well on those thirteen D8s. Yeah. Do you want more D8s? Oh, man. See, it's like, I could potentially do it, but if I chromatic orbit, then I'm at least definitely doing something. Cause if I don't do it with the sleep, then he's still up at full health and it's done nothing, I'd blow my fifth level slop or nothing.

[01:23:19] I mean, you could hold off for a round, make an attack with chromatic orb, you could call the sleep will take. Yeah, true. Yeah, I'm playing Pokemon here. Why am I trying to throw a Pokeball at it when it's at full health? Yeah, rookie at stake. Yeah, really. So okay. So yeah, I'll instead conjure up a fifth level chromatic orb. No, don't waste your fifth level slop. You want that for casting sleep. Yeah, okay, fine. Fourth level then.

[01:23:49] Fourth level, okay. This is, I think, also a D8? Yeah. And I will say, yeah, there's no like special, like it's not weak or resistant to any particular attack. Okay. I'll just pick electricity then just cause it's also seems like it's sort of an incapacitation sort of thing. This one I believe I do have to roll to hit though. I believe so. Copper, use thunderbolt. Rage spell attack, yes. Yeah. It was super effective.

[01:24:17] I'm assuming shocking grasp is not strong enough, so yeah. Roll to hit. Yeah. 9 plus... 9, 9, 9, 9. Plus 18? Yup. Holy shit, that hits. Excellent. Okay. And now the rolls. So this is the main attack. 15 is the main attack and then...

[01:24:47] Is it one? Yeah. 23 is the second attack. Okay. Yep. 24, 25, 26, 27. 20, 29, 30, 31 is the next attack. That's the third level of it. Are these all separate attacks? No. Okay. What did I say the number was? 31. Okay. Because you were calling them different attacks.

[01:25:16] I'm counting it as the next level. Those are all been separate damages, right? This is all one attack coming in. No. I'm just doing the math. Yeah. Okay. I'm saying like this is... This level is... Because I only have so many D8s. Oh, dude. I have so many D8s. I'm almost done. I also have D8s. I'm almost done. What was the number? 31. 32, 33, 34. And then I have one more. I think. No, I don't. 34. Because this is here.

[01:25:45] Did you drink that rum or did you D8s? The D8s did. They've absorbed it. No, I drank it. So yeah, that's... 34? Yeah. 34 lightning damage. As a diamond pops out of my wrist. As I conjure it, it changes through a bunch of different colors until it goes to like a bluey purpley sort of color. As I charge up my Kamehameha up here on my forehead like Piccolo. Yeah, thanks. You're welcome. I think that was on recording earlier, so like... I hope so.

[01:26:14] That's a cold open. Yeah, I hope so. But yeah, no. That... You definitely took a good chunk of it. The lightning just pummels it. Excellent. Oh, thank you. I was going to leave them in there with punishment for the rest of the day. But that's fine. Hey, don't threaten them with a good time. But yeah, so like it's steaming. It's ists now. Okay, yeah. But it is hurt by that attack. Excellent.

[01:26:44] And that's your turn. So top of the round. No, it's Rob's turn. Oh, Rob's turn. Rob gets another shot. He gets a shot. He gets a shot. He lives in a shot as well. He gets a shot. So Rob's turn. You get a drink? Of what? There's a Coke in the fridge and some rum? That didn't roll. I just got dropped it.

[01:27:16] Wait, Rob. Because he's an asshat. That's a shot! Yeah, I would like a shot. Yeah. A total of 15? A 15? Sorry. To hit? Yeah, yeah. Let's go with that. That misses. Okay, that's fine. So that's Rob's turn? Yes. He attempted to bite him and somehow missed him. He was scared. Now Rob's gonna die. As it's the bullet's turn at the top of the round. Is he targeting Rob? Yeah. Even though I just hit it with a Hadouken?

[01:27:45] Yeah, but Rob just bit him. No, he didn't. He failed. Okay, fine. If you want to kill my dog, go for it. I don't want to kill you. I've done it too many times already. Oh god. He has to roll disadvantage. Oh god. If it's a melee attack, he has to roll disadvantage. Okay. Thank you, sir. I cast Mites. Jesus! That was not requested. That was not asshole! I should have asked. I should have requested something.

[01:28:13] See, I'm rooting for you not to hit this. You and me both. So that was a disadvantage, right? Disadvantage, yes. That's not better. I would hope it would be better. Um, does a 20 hit you? Shield?

[01:28:43] No. Yeah. It would have otherwise. Yeah. So it like noms on my... No, it wouldn't have. I was going to make it re-roll. He can't. He just made me re-roll. No, that's disadvantage. This is separate. Rolls a nat 20. You gotta re-roll that shit again. Yeah. You okay, then? That is... You're at home. You're not driving anywhere. Alright, you really want the GM drunk. Okay. Um...

[01:29:13] So, uh, yeah. The bullet just like, starts gnawing on like, I guess a... Okay, but that's a bubble force around you. Yeah, basically. It has a wave shield kind of thing. Uh, but like this... I actually thought of the... It's just like, clenching on the air above you. You're like, ah! Uh, you can see inside of its mouth it's like a snapping turtle's mouth, like throat. So it's just serrated teeth upon row upon row of serrated teeth. That's not good. Roll sand. Worst blowjob ever. Yeah.

[01:29:43] Um, and uh, next up is Kriclus. Okay. If I go up, can I get cover? Yeah. There's a bunch of stone... There's a stone column. So... You're like, around here at this point. And those are giant stone columns. But they're kinda hiding behind essentially. Okay. And I'm on the big stairs. You're up here at this point. Mm-hmm. So... And I'm like, down here somewhere? You're down here in the clear. Okay, yeah.

[01:30:11] So I'm gonna go to cover and see if I can get a good position on them. Okay. And then I'm gonna do chug a potion. Mm-hmm. Because oh my god am I hurt. You're just like, huh. I am hurt so badly. I really wanted to cast a heal on you, but I needed to attack this damn thing. 44 plus 4? 44 plus 4, yes. 5, 6, 8, 12. That's something.

[01:30:44] 3. I'm still bloodied. This is the most damage I've taken in the entire campaign. Total. Yeah. Because usually I'm up front soaking up the damage. Yeah. So... Hey, you guys won a challenge after last... Who's he in combat with? What? You specifically, like, I could've used a bit of a more challenge that last game. So this is your fault that we're all dying. I don't recall saying that. So he's in combat with one, right? Yes.

[01:31:14] Fuck that guy. Okay. Because I get advantage of it, I fuck that guy. Oh, fair. Uh... 18? That hits. Just. And he's damaged? Yep. He's got a nice, fresh scar on his front. And he's ugly? He's got something on his back. What? 8, 10, 13... 17? Well, you know what they say. Justice. Is that a 17 you said? Yeah.

[01:31:44] Otherwise... 17 damage. That's just... He's still alive, but he's like... Gah! That's like your arrow, I guess. See what's your arrow? I don't... No, it's my penis. He has an arrow. Oh, that's horrifying. Cousin! Um... Um... We... There are... There are pages of stuff devoted to that on Pornhub. I know. I mean, wait, you know. I'm sorry? You wanna reword that? I know.

[01:32:17] Alright. He's seen all of them. Okay, so that's your... It's just quality. You blew your load there? Pretty much, yeah. Um... But you're getting attacked by, um... The, um... Wait, don't you get another shot? Oh, I do get another shot. Right. You? Okay. Duh. Cause I'm a little 5 now. I can't get used to that. Okay, so fuck that guy again. It's only with like mundane attacks, but yeah. You're getting him again? Yeah. Crit. Okay. Roll the convert. That's not a thing. Oh, I forget it's not a thing.

[01:32:46] It's absolutely bad. What was that, Shadow Roll? Uh, you don't get your sneak attack dice. D20 and uh... You don't? You hit him once this round. That's fine. You only get one sneak attack per round. Uh... 5, 8, 13, 26, 30. How do you wanna do this? Just right through the skull again. So he's like growling at you, he's like... Ahhhh! And then he goes right through his like face, and like chips a tooth and like it hits your chest.

[01:33:17] Okay, I'll track down the side of that arrow and see Kirkulus there and just wave and... Yep. So, on to the next one. Okay. Uh... Okay, down then. In, you know, 4 actions. Yeah. Alright, I'm just gonna start rolling 2d20s. Um, they're not like taking advantage, I'm just rolling... They're rolling to attack. Um, because uh, yeah, they're just going to start attacking, uh, Kirkulus. I didn't cover. Yep. So you have a plus 2 to your, uh, UDC.

[01:33:47] That's, that's what half cover does. Yep. Um, first one is going to be... I have my calculator, I'll give you this. 20 to hit you. Yep. Okay, the first, the second one doesn't hit you. If there's any consolation. Uh, that's gonna be 9 damage. And then the next drow. At least we're whittling down the numbers.

[01:34:17] I bit off more than I could chew. It's a lot of drow. 24 to hit, first one, first attack. And then... It's a shame this frickin' creature in front of me isn't in the way of these shops or nothing. 15 to hit you the second time? Okay, the second one misses you, but... 10 damage. And the final drow that's attacking you, Kirkulus. How bad'd you do in there?

[01:34:46] I got 11 health left. Oh, shit. Oh no! Ooh, whatcha say? 20 on both of them. Not net 20s, but like, I got... Yeah. 20 to hit on both of the attacks. Unless you get minimum damage on both, I'm going down.

[01:35:16] 17 damage from both. I'm down. God damn it. No! He says you're just like... Just stabbed so many times with these friggin' like Zendrick boomerangs. It's like Murphy getting shot in Robocop. Yeah. Uh, Fintan, you're up. Okay. You're like, yeah! Ooh! Okay, um...

[01:35:46] The fires of the North Star are with you and I'm gonna heal you. Cause you're not that far away, so... No, you're probably... Yeah, you're not even like 10 feet away from him. Oh god, as long as he's... I think it's... It's either 30 or 60 feet. Yeah. It's the range of my one healing spell. Which, I'm sorry for this, because it's not a hell of a lot of healing, but... As long as you just get him up. Take seven points of health. I'm still negative. No, you're not. Because you never drop below zero. Oh, okay.

[01:36:14] You drop two zero and that's the end of it. This is not usually a problem I have. So you are now back at seven. Um, okay. And then, uh, where's the next nearest one? Uh, the next nearest one, um... They kind of just like... They kind of like were regrouping around him, so like they're... How many days going? Exactly. They're all kind of around the columns around him, so...

[01:36:44] Oh shit, I just forgot. So they're within like, easily like 20, 30 feet from me? And they're all in half cover, so... I just realized. Okay, well I'm going to move to the other side of that half cover. It's okay. And, uh, close in for the attack. I have a plan. Attack. Uh, 21 hit? Yes. Fantastic. Fin-tastic!

[01:37:13] Okay, so that's, uh, seven and a three is ten plus six, so sixteen. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm going to follow this up with... my second attack. Ten plus ten is twenty. Does that hit? Yes. Okay. And I'm going to use a lesser smite. Are you adding up your damage for that? Hm? Were you adding up your damage for that, the first one?

[01:37:43] What was the... The first one was sixteen. Gotcha. Seven twenty-six. Thirty-two damage. Okay. Okay. He's still alive.

[01:38:09] Lace that sun bitch right across the face with my blazing sword of awesome bright... Oh! These are drow. They, um... They've been walking around in the sunlight. Okay, but they don't take any disadvantages when they're in the sun? Nope. These are surface drow. I don't know. You... I did say earlier, but you... You... Well, yes. You had mentioned that they live in the sunlight. That doesn't necessarily mean that they don't take this advantage. These... Zendrick drow...

[01:38:39] Zendrick surface drow have a sunlight adaptation. It doesn't make them immune to solar... Like sun attacks. Like sun bursts and stuff like that. But when they are... They do not suffer any penalties from being in the sunlight. Like they'll get blind or dazed. Sorry. My sword channels sunlight. Yeah. Like it is sunlight. It wouldn't affect them any differently than like a regular person being attacked by the sun. Okay. That's what I mean.

[01:39:08] It's a special trait to make these drow have. Okay. Because like vampires are destroyed by sunlight. My sword destroys vampires. Vampires. Yeah, no. These drow live on the surface of Zendrick. So they do not... I mean... They live in a jungle. Yes. I'm just saying... Deep foliage. It's in the... I'm not... I'm not arguing against you. I'm saying this is why I didn't know. Yeah.

[01:39:35] Because they could be in the deep jungle where it's always pretty dark anyway. Yeah. Unless I say specifically like these ones are... Well, yeah. Like you... Normally you would assume drow are... Or do have like an... Take penalties in the sun. Like the sun lines are up. But these ones are surface drow. So they don't... Okay. So they're not really even drow. They are. They're just like... They're like... They're basically the... They're basically the step between... Because in Eberron, drow were the first elves.

[01:40:05] And then the first elves to evolve from the fae. And then they... And then all other elves kind of... The other elves... So all elves are drow. In Eberron... So this is... In the history of Eberron... The... The... The... The Luviar... The... The fae... The things that were... The elves that were fae originally... Mm-hmm. Came to Eberron... And got enslaved by the giants. Those elves became the drow of Zendrik.

[01:40:32] Then when the giants died off or vanished... The drow were free and they moved to... Most... A good portion of them moved to... Eranol... And became... And developed into regular... Into the elves that we know today. Modern day elves. The drow that stayed on Zendrik remained... Drow and surface drow. So... Okay. Yeah. Now you have a little bit of history lesson to Eberron. So they're drow with none of the drawbacks. Yep. Dick move.

[01:41:02] Dick move, Eberron. Yeah. My vastly superior cousins. We've made a mistake. I will be leaving. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I wouldn't go that far. I will be leaving now. Unless you're going to crawl away. As you recover to yourself. Okay. I'll go.

[01:41:35] But... So yeah, you do your damage. So you only did like the 17 damage. What was the other damage? 32. 32. Yes, okay. I took that off. I'm doing it wrong. Yeah, he's not dead yet. These are just mooks. That should have killed them. No, these aren't mooks. So the drow... I'll show you some figures, Mike. The drow that has been talking to you is like...

[01:42:03] Still want to fight us? Cousin. No. This is your final warning. You and your friends leave our sacred grounds. I'm after him next. I'm not leaving until I get all of your starting ups. Yeah, this is just a couple of times. I withdraw my complaints.

[01:42:33] Y'all can have it. I'm leaving. I can see you start crawling back down the stairs. You slide down the stairs. Like that little ramp from the edges of the stairs. This has been the most damage I've taken cumulatively in this entire campaign. On the plus side, these guys would be really good if you could recruit them against your campaign against the... Undead. The undying court. That'd be great. I don't think it's gonna work.

[01:43:02] No, probably not. Yeah, so... You're giving... Are you actually trying to retreat though? Yes. This is not going well. I'm currently prone. And I'm gonna stay that way. Okay. What say the rest of you? Oh, he's fine. What say you? In perfect elvish. Fuck you! Okay, on his last action, first round, he pulls out a horn.

[01:43:37] And we'll see what happens in the next turn. So, with that. Okay. So, Copper. So you're retreating and they're not attacking you right now? I don't know. I don't know if I should attempt to heal you real quick, or protect myself from dying at this point. Protect yourself from dying. Okay. I may need healing next round. Yeah. You've got a giant Nido King about to attack you. Yeah, I don't like that.

[01:44:05] Or the mother of all Sandslashes. Mm-hmm. He's very big. It's like a Nido King and a Sandslash have to be a Sand King with a Lapis. Kind of? I almost want to just do the same damn thing again. It's like my most powerful thing I can do, honestly. Um, you did take a good chunk out of him.

[01:44:35] Yeah. Your chances of making him fall asleep have improved. Mm-hmm. By like a quarter. I hate being next to him is the thing. I don't like that. I kind of just want to grab Rob, just dim door out of there. Honestly. Up onto the platform. Kind of.

[01:45:04] Right into the next thing that's about to come out. Ah, fuck. I mean, what? God damn it. What do you guys think? Do you think I should just try to kill it real quick or get the fuck out? Because I honestly don't know. Um, how substantially did you hit it last round? It sounds like a quarter. You took about a quarter of its health. Using a fourth level spell slot. Which I will say is about 34 damage.

[01:45:36] You could use that fifth level spell slot and try to sleep it. Yeah, I could. Or roll poorly and not. But I guess that's always the gamble. That's always the gamble. Yeah. It's the gambling Pokemon, it's the gambling Indie and Diggy. You could delay your action until after Rob goes and let him attack first. I could. Wait, what are Rob's actions?

[01:46:06] Cause I know he can do something else if I don't tell him to do shit. Also, what were you regretting not doing earlier? In my level up, I chose an arcane tradition for my wizard. Yeah. Uh, being the, uh, the rune crafter. So, on any spell I cast, I guess any wizard spell I cast, or would it be either? What do you think? Tell me what it does.

[01:46:34] Uh, basically I can choose to use a certain type of rune, be it a life rune, a war rune, or a wind rune, and I can put an additional effect on someone else. So, for example, I could electric hadouken this thing while also putting temporary hit points on him. On, sorry, on Kirkless. Give me two seconds, cause I gotta look that up and see the wording. Because that could be either way. I have the wording here, actually. Oh, okay, well if you got the wording there, then let me read it.

[01:47:09] I didn't hear it. Oh, well. Runic Empowerment. Okay, so either way, this thing's in my grill. Yep. I can either Benny Hill this thing or just attack. Cause actually, spell slot wise, what's that, two? Use Misty Step and, uh... Yeah, I don't have those written over here. So yeah, I could just Misty Step 30 feet away is what Misty Step does, I believe.

[01:47:39] I think so. When you cast a spell using a spell slot. That is any spell. Excellent. Cool. Good to know. Thank you, sir. Anything that consumes a spell slot. Yes. Cause there are ways that you can use spells that won't consume a spell slot. Those would not apply. Yep. Okay. I'd like to grab the chair from downstairs. It's a lot more comfortable.

[01:48:09] Perhaps I shall. Yeah, there's a thing. Okay, either way, I need to make a decision. Cause I'm like the princess and the pea. Yeah. How many legs does this thing have? Four? Four. I was gonna grease it. Grease does not work though. Hmm. I could sanctuary myself and then make it do a will save to try to hit me and if it doesn't, it just hit Rob and kill him. So that doesn't really help too much either. Yeah.

[01:48:45] Oh, I know what this creature is. It's basically an oversized version of the, um, it's actually, it's a snapping turtle Pokemon. Um, from like, I think, gen three or four. Uh, it's basically a, like, it's like something's playing up or something. It's basically a giant, like a, it's basically just a giant, like, it's a chomp chomp. But with like, a turtle with a body. Yeah. I actually think it can because it has a really diggily big. That's what I figured.

[01:49:14] Yeah. So it's, it's honestly useless for me to teleport away unless I dim door the fuck out. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You misty step away. Then run. Then run. So then, yeah. Now you're 60 feet away. You have, um, but you then probably exposed to like 17 blades. I will say this. I don't think they're, they're interested in me right now. Copper.

[01:49:42] Um, you did, your knowledge of the bullets, you know that they have a long jump of up to 30 feet and a high jump of up to 15 with or without starting a run. Oh. Yeah. They are leapers. So, uh, it can move and then jump. Yeah. Okay. So the only way I'm getting away from this thing in melee is dim dooring. And if I'm going to dim door, I'm either going to be going way the hell away from you or

[01:50:11] directly beside you. How far is the, uh, is the dim door? Like how, what's the 500 feet? 500 feet. Back onto the ship. The ship is not above you guys. It is off somewhere. Like, but I'd say it would probably be within about 500 feet of you guys. The ship has cannons. Can you pick me up first? I have to run over to you first actually. Yeah. You have to get away with this bullet. Bullet. Bullet. Bullet. Is a dim door a, uh, action, full action or bonus action? Bonus action. Bonus action.

[01:50:42] Okay. Um... If I just try to disengage just by running, that's triggering an attack of opportunity. Yeah. I'm trying to see if I can do this in one round to get away from him, grab him, and dim door. It does provoke an attack of opportunity but, uh, you can use an action to disengage. Yes. So I can use my main action to disengage and then I can move 30 feet? Yes. And then I can use a bonus action?

[01:51:12] Yes. How far away is Kriklus from me right now? Uh, Kriklus, you are... Jesus. Um, he's like 35 feet away at least. At least, okay. He's not quite in range. Yeah. Well, I mean the disengage action comes with 5 feet of movement. Could I just barely get to him? I would say you'd just barely be on the bench one, yeah. Okay.

[01:51:40] You'd be in the midst of like 4, 4 or drow that were like attacking him but that you're also, like your friends are around you at least. Okay. Then I will use my main... Your friends are with you. Mm-hmm. Let's hope they last the night. So I'll use my main action to disengage from the target. Okay. Then I will move... Is running using a main action, if I actually sprint? Yeah. Are you taking Rob? Yeah, he's coming with me. I'm not leaving him there. Um, yes.

[01:52:06] We are disengaging and we are moving at a normal non-running speed over to where Kriklus is dying. So you're misty stepping or like... No, I am mundanely moving. So you're... Yes. The stairs. Yes. Yes. Exactly that. Nice. And then, uh, as I get to him, I will grab on... Oh no, I can only... How many people can move with Dimdor? With Dimdor? Yeah. One.

[01:52:34] I can move only myself or me plus one other person? Yeah. So not Rob? But you already used your main action to disengage. You don't have an action to... I thought you said Dimdor was a, uh... Misty Step is a bonus action. Fuck! Okay. You could still Misty Step into hiding. There is cover around. Yeah. And you could hold off for a round and then Dimdor. Is there a cover around me 30 feet away from me anywhere?

[01:53:02] If you're going up to the top platform where they all are? No. Like... There's jungle. Oh no, if you're going to where Kriklus is? Yeah. Yeah, there's the... Because they're up on the platform. So you have to run up those steps, those stairs. Get to that platform. There are a bunch of large, like, stone columns and such. Okay. That you can get some cover from. From where the creature is, 30 feet away, is there cover? Yeah. Fine. It has to go up those stairs as well. So yeah. Okay, fine.

[01:53:30] So I will be teleporting with Misty Step towards where Kriklus is into cover somewhere. Okay. Um, with my bonus action. And then I guess that's my turn? That is it for you, yes. So basically you went from... That is all of the things. You went from... You were down around here where the creature was. You missed it. You ran or Misty Step up to here where Kriklus was. And then like, hid behind like there or something. Kind of got... Well, you disengaged.

[01:54:01] Yeah. Ran to Kriklus. Yeah. Grabbed Kriklus. Misty Step into cover. Okay. So then yeah, you Misty Step like somewhere to one of the deeper pillars where the Drown went. Yes. That's what I'll do, yes. Okay. For sure. Yeah. That's... You narrowly avoid like... It's just things like snap like chopping at you as you're like running and then like it's gonna... It looks... It knows where you ran up to so it's gonna start lumbering up those stairs. Yeah. But that's... That's somebody else's problem.

[01:54:30] For sure, yeah. Um, but yeah, as I'm casting Misty Step as well, um... A... Probably a green rune. Probably popped out of my other hand and glued... And glowed. Glowed? Glued? Glowed? Glowed? Glowed? Glowed? Glowed? It was enlightened with magic as we teleported away, which... What's... Misty Step? Level 2 spell? I believe? Yeah. Yeah. So you have, um... Wait, what is it? Sorry, this is all new information for me.

[01:55:07] Just in case something happens. And then that's my turn. Okay. Top of the round. You guys all hear... Footsteps. Very large, heavy footsteps coming from the... Um... From the left side of the ruins... Of the ruins that you guys are around. Like those columns and stuff. And you see dust coming off the ground... Of the, uh... The, uh... The ceiling and off the columns. As two large creatures... Creatures.

[01:55:37] Humanoids. With two heads on their shoulders. Come lumbering out of... Edds! Old... Yeah, old tap... Like they come out between, um... These massive ancient, ancient, aged-worn tapestries. Um... That were in archways on the left side of the ruins. Um... Yeah. Two... Two Edds come into play. And the, uh... The drow that has been talking to you guys is like... Come and see... It's like, our...

[01:56:07] It's like, come... Uh... You'll face the... You'll face our... Our slaves. And, uh... Yeah. The, um... The Edds come charging note. So... Yeah, I guess I have two Edds now. Can I speak? Yep. Okay. I wanna point my sword at one of them. Well, actually, no, hang on. On your turn. You can. Sorry. That's why I was asking if I could speak. I'm sorry. Actually, uh... We'll... We'll... Yeah. As that happens.

[01:56:39] I challenge you... To single combat. Decide between your heads which is going to fight me. I wanna make a diplomacy check. Because they usually hate each other. And they might fight themselves. I mean, that works. Okay, so 17 plus, uh... Persuasion. Okay. So...

[01:57:10] 17 plus 8 plus 3. 17 plus 11 is, uh... 28. 28? 28? How does 28 do? Sorry, hang on a second. So, 22 you said? 28. 28.

[01:57:41] So you're targeting one of those Edds. Yes. I told one of those Edds that I wanna challenge it to single combat. But it has to pick between its heads which one it's gonna fight. So, it looks at you... One of the heads looks at you and is like, Really? You did the... As a fist comes in and punches the other one. One of the two. One of the heads is like, this is stupid. Why would we... And the other one rolled a 2. Yeah.

[01:58:10] And so, I'll roll its damage on its fist to itself. Well played, sir. Thank you. Uh, yeah that... It takes 6 damage to its... Uh, to one of its faces. And this is like...

[01:58:39] Oh, I challenge you! Uh... Fuck, it's Gerald! The grotesque, two-headed Gerald. No, no. Gerald was a troll. These are giants. You gave him the Cockney accent. Well, because they're... They have orcish, uh... Orcish features? No, they have orcish ties, apparently, according to... Books. I was like, alright, fine. They're like orcs. Uh, with a K. They only have one torso, though. Why would they wear multiple?

[01:59:09] Tsk. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. Three willies towards you! That's fair. You son of a bitch. I'm only half kidding. Yeah. You see it, like, leap up, and like, come back down out of cover. It's leaping up the steps to get you. Yeah. You should roll something to, like, figure out where I went, honestly. No. Okay. It's like you run up the stairs. I teleported. No, no, no. You ran up the stairs.

[01:59:39] Then teleported. So, the last it saw, you were up on the platform. Yeah, yeah. So, it's coming up the platform. That's fine. It doesn't know where you are yet. That's fine. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so the first Etten is in the middle of combat with itself. Okay. Excellent. We'll see. I'll roll a persuasion from one head to see if it can persuade the other to stop doing this. Okay. Okay.

[02:00:06] So, anyway, they were basically at the top of the rounds because they rolled, like, pretty high on their occasions. Okay. So, at number two, though, so yeah, at number one, they're fighting. At number two, though, it's just like, ugh. And just, they both just, both of the heads just, like, sigh, and then, like, alright, which one of you wants to die first? You.

[02:00:35] The one who is moving. The one who is moving. They're hidden. They are hidden. You. The one who is moving. The one who's been talking. Experience Biche. The one who is being. Oh, well, we have his name now. And he comes out with a battleaxe. His Biche comes at you with a battleaxe. Yeah, you do. Am I? We'll see. You think so? It has multi-attack. It's another, it's another monster with a battleaxe.

[02:01:05] You have bad experiences with that? Double crass. Oh my god, it has, I'm sorry, it has a, so, it's dual, apparently they dual wield. They dual wield, one in each hand. So, the battleaxe, I think is gonna miss you. Give me a second. Bolt, please. That's fine. 16 to hit? No.

[02:01:33] What about 19? No. Okay. So basically, like, one just like, cuts down with the battleaxe and misses you. Then the other hand comes down with a, with a morning star and like smashes. It definitely is. Side step one and hop over the other. And then the bullet arrives as it has leaped, or, what is it? Oh god, it's coming! And lands on like the next step. It slowly leaps every couple, it's gonna be, next round will be here on the platform.

[02:02:03] Pull out a red cape. So, next up is Kurglis. Yes. You're just like holding onto his like, get me out of here. So I, so I, I got your way. Um, do you want me to teleport you back to the ship? Or heal you back up and get you back in the fight? Put me back in the ship. I can still fight them. Okay, fine. In the ship? Okay. Are they within 600 feet? Technically. Yeah, we're good to go. Especially when you got Captain Toole, it's like, huh, bring us close, bring her about! Yeah.

[02:02:33] He is the Snooperman. It is. Okay, fine. So, um... Well that's on your turn. Yeah, yeah, true. Yeah. So Kurglis, you're planning. I'm gonna hand you a potion though, just to be safe. Just give you another potion. You could still drink a potion and make a sneak attack. I could. Yeah. Or make a sneak attack and then get back behind cover and hide. So, if I'll drink a potion. I have a minor, that's what? Three? Four? I'll give you my moderate one. Okay.

[02:03:03] To get another 44. So I should be marking these down. Six, ten. Fourteen. I work well. Eighteen. That's all of our moderate potions. Almost not bloodied. Excellent. So very nice.

[02:03:31] We have to buy more moderate potions after we are out. Okay, so I'm gonna stand up. I'm still behind cover, right? Yes. You're still behind one of the large columns. I'm gonna take a shot at the Jaws creature. Okay. At the bullet? Well, it's... Okay, it's still... It hasn't quite hit the platform yet. It does not... Does he not have line of sight on it? I'll give it half cover and just say like it's... You get it while it's getting big up. I ignore half cover anyway. Okay, then you... yeah.

[02:04:01] And he hasn't seen me, so it's a sneak attack. So I get advantage. Aw, that sucks so bad. Also, did your sleep thing affect multiple creatures? No. Uh... Fourteen to hit? Fourteen, I don't think actually does. Sorry. Actually, sleep might. Yes, it does. Yeah, I was just thinking... I was just thinking that. Because... Fourteen does not hit. Yeah.

[02:04:32] Well, turn the game. But it does not hit... Does fifteen hit? It usually doesn't sleep the way that you want it to. Because it affects the lowest hit point creatures first. Oh, okay. Which subtracts from the total. Mm-hmm. Oh, God. Yeah, so... Okay, so... You missed both arrows. Both arrows are going by.

[02:05:01] And actually the drow, the three of the drow have actually started... They're backpedaling and going into... Either into their huts, or into like crevices on the right side of the wall, of the ruins. Like through the walls. Like there's like little like spaces, in terms of the mortar and stuff. And they're kind of like... And the three non-combatant ones, the ones that I've been talking, are kind of like... They're backing up and going into these like spaces and such. Into the shadows.

[02:05:31] And... So, Fintan, you're out. Okay. Well... I guess I'm going to move in on the first etten. Hmm? Crack my neck. The one that's fighting itself or the... No, the one that... Attacked me. Yeah. I'm going to move out of melee with him and provoke two attacks of opportunity, one from each head. What do you think I am? Ridiculous? I'm going to cast Hex. Okay. Cuts.

[02:06:01] Yeah. And then I'm going to move in for the attack. How tall is it? It's a large size giant. Okay, so it's probably like... 14, 16 feet tall. About that, yeah. Okay. Okay. So it's like easily twice as tall as I am, so I stand up to its groin level. So I guess... How do I rise? It's cockless!

[02:06:31] I guess I have circumcision. I guess that's what I'm going for. Since the low endanglies are, you know, right there. You're going for the low hanging fruit here. I am. Okay, so that's a 16 plus 10. Does a 26 hit? That will hit. Okay. And I'm going to use a big smite. Okay.

[02:07:02] So that's 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 die 8 damage. 6 is 18. And 5 is 22. And I'm going to reroll these.

[02:07:34] 8 is 30. 7 is 37. And 5 is 43. 43? Uh, yes. No, 43 plus 6. So that's 49. Okay. 49 damage to his scrote. 49 damage to his scrote. I'm... You know what? I know it's not in the rules, but... Rule 4 is insane.

[02:08:05] Because I know I'd die. But it's a totally... Or con, sorry. He's got a good constitution. I will... I'm not surprised if he succeeds. He only got 8. Hmm. So... He drops to his knees and is like... Oh! No, his voice goes higher. Yeah, he's like... Oh! Both of them are... It's like a choir. Oh!

[02:08:35] I didn't like your cut in my jibs! He drops. He just drops. Um, you're not sure if he's dead, but he's bleeding... Or no, he's not bleeding... He's not even bleeding out. But he's definitely just out for the count. Okay. Okay. Um... So this guy would be great for fighting your undead. Cause he's totally gonna be your friend now. I mean...

[02:09:03] He's castrated, so maybe, you know... Um... Doesn't have all that testosterone, so he's less angry all the time. Maybe, yeah. It... Might be legit. Make diplomacy checks for long enough. It might work out. Maybe somebody... Mend? Mend? Heal his... Yeah, all I got left is lay on hands. I ain't... It seems ideal though. Um... That's all you got there?

[02:09:34] Uh... Technically, I get another shot. Okay, do you want to finish him off, or...? I mean... No, I'm just going to point my blade at him and say, stay down, or I take the rest of it off. They say he's in unison. And then, um... However... Um... As he's... As he's basically surrendering to you, um... That... The drow leader that's been talking to you guys... Or the other drow that's been talking to you guys... Comes out and is like,

[02:10:03] You bloody slave! I'll kill you! After I kill this guy! And he just comes, like, running after you. Okay. So... Um... And, uh... Yeah, so he's going to do attack... Uh... He's actually using his, um... His, uh... Boomerang... His Zendrick boomerang as a melee weapon. Okay. Okay.

[02:10:44] Does a 22 hit? Does a 22 hit? You know, friend... I, uh... I heard your father was sleeping with giants, and that's why you're the ugly son of a bitch that you are. Reroll that. Does a 19 hit? Nope. Okay. He texted me. Fuck. By the way, I'm going to give you advantage on your next thing. That 20. Okay.

[02:11:15] Hold a second. Fuck, I shouldn't have wasted that. Okay. Yep. Well... It's a fair cop. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I've been thinking this entire combat, you know, Aaron, you should really save that in case somebody crits. Yeah. How many times can you do it? It's a spell. So... Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, wow. That's awesome. Crits are like, you double the dice damage, right? Uh... Yes. Okay. So, that's going to be a 14 damage.

[02:11:46] Oh, gosh. I'm just taking more than that. Hmm? Guys, I'm like... I'm like... I'm dying from that. Oh, God. I know. It's not... You're not really injured, are you? Barely. I'm not going to say... Actually, he didn't come at you. He took the vast majority... Oh! Actually, no. I'm not. And he takes 15 damage. What?! Are we back of this? Armour? Oh, shit. I still have one point left. Well, there you go. Okay. Thanks for letting me know that he came into melee with that thing.

[02:12:16] He shouldn't have... He really shouldn't have gone into melee, but he's... Yeah, he's getting frustrated. Well, and I did really piss him off by telling him that his dad fucks giants. Yeah. Maybe the first attack was like... Was a... He threw out a runge, and then the second boomerang would just come at you. Mm-hmm. Um... Okay, so he's not dead, but... Or even, like, terribly injured, but... Hurts from that. Uh, and then, uh, copper. Question. Yeah. Unrelated to my turn. Yeah. Does Armour Bagethus have a visual?

[02:12:46] Like, does it look like anything? It can. Does it look like anything? Yeah. Mine looks like, um... Uh, I've got the mist streaming off me like, uh, like I'm covered in, um, uh, dry ice. Oh, cool. Like that fog that just, like, drops. Yeah. It's fucking awesome. That's pretty cool. Okay. Is it my turn? Yeah. Okay. I will, um, use my magic multi-tool that talks, but I can't remember his name. Oh, ha!

[02:13:16] Yeah, him. Um, and... I think it's a pretty awesome visual because I've got all this, like, dry ice fog coming off me and a sword made of sunlight. Yeah, that would look cool through all the dry ice and everything. Right? That's very cool. Get on your own. With the proper levels of, like, fog and everything. That's pretty cool. Please get me out of here. Oh yeah, okay. Um, yes, I will use, uh, my multi-tool to basically draw a door shape on the ground

[02:13:42] with a doorknob and everything, and then just grab the doorknob, pull it up, turn it, and open it. Okay. And then grab Kirklus and throw it. I like that visual. Yeah. I do too. I think I have to go with him, don't I? Yes. So does this, like, open up through the, like, from the deck of the ship? Yeah, basically, yeah. As I'm doing it, it's open, there's, the lines are also happening on the deck of the It opens on a sail. Really? It's the first time I've used it.

[02:14:09] Well, cause technically it has to be a point that, to a point that you can see. Oh, does it? Yes. So, I mean, you could do it on the side of the ship, or you could do it onto a sail and drop to the deck. I could see through a window. Inside. Onto the roof. That does, that does count. It's 600, it's like 500 feet away though, so it's like, some catfire. Yeah, you can barely see the ship as it is in, like, between the canopy and like... Well, he had a spyglass installed in his eyes. I want to point out, you guys are actually sheltered right now.

[02:14:38] Like, you guys are underneath a ceiling. Like, part of a ceiling. Okay. Yeah. So you're barely able to see the ship as it is. Yeah, like leaning out as I'm drawing it. Okay. Sorry, it used to be, to a point you can see within 500 feet. They may have changed that. You may want to read the spell and see if it says that. I don't have a card on it. Oh. Well, I have a card on it. You'd have to Google it. Okay, so you're doing that though? Yes. We are showing up on the ship. Okay. Whether we're on the...

[02:15:07] You collapse onto, um, uh, Bella Twila. As she was mopping the deck. Ah! I was like, God damn! Both of us fall under her. Get off me! Wait, I'm really heavy. That probably killed her. No, it can... It could literally just be anywhere in range. Really? Yep. That you desire. Oh, cool. So I'll just drop him on the deck then. So we're still on top of Bella Twila. Yeah.

[02:15:37] That is where we desire, yes. As she's like, you've broken her leg. Like, she's like screaming about her leg. Uh, it's like underneath you, copper. And, uh, Captain Twila comes like running some crew around and is like, Oh! Uh, trouble down there in the jungle? A lot of trouble. As I gesture over to Kirklus and he is covered in wounds and bloodied. I'm just made of fucking glaives. Yeah. I'm more glaive than us. Ah, so the boomer. They all stuck in himself.

[02:16:06] No, I imagine there's like, there's a couple like dangling in your stuff. Yeah, yeah. Bring the ship about, bring the cannons to bear. Cannons? You want cannons? We have... Yes, we have cannons. Yes. Uh... As I side-eye Kirklus, I don't like this. Looks like crew members are like, it's like, take them out of storage. Okay. It's like, ah, yes, come on.

[02:16:35] And then he comes like, yeah, goes running. Like this, uh, dwarf goes running. I was like, get this man a potion, we're out. Yes, um, do we have healers on the ship? I was like, I'm a healer? It's like, a professional healer. Oh, okay. And like somebody shows up. They'll like start healing you. Okay. Bring the ship around, I need to be over top of them, roughly with a good sight. Hold still! Yeah. Drive them close to your own, hit them with my bow. So on your turn you build that. Yeah. Turn the ship around.

[02:17:06] Fintan's biting at tins. Turn the ship around. Speaking of Fintan. Well, that's Drow and Tins. Speaking of Fintan, are you currently attacking someone? Uh... I'm assuming you are, because that's all you do. I will be. He's in melee when... I am in melee. I have not attacked him yet. Okay. But you were in melee when we teleported away? Yes. Okay, then I would have used my bonus action to tell Rob to assist you. Oh, excellent!

[02:17:34] So, Rob will be running over there now, and doing an attack. Jesus Christ! That's not bad. Uh, it's 25 to hit. Jesus! Yeah! Attaboy! Yeah, he rolled good. Uh, then that's one of these. Maybe it's the noise I made. No. Um... Six damage.

[02:18:02] As a robotic pupo comes in and, uh... Bites the thing on the shoulder. Okay, that's the drop I take, right? Yes. Okay, he's like, gah! Crescent machine! And that's the end of my turn. I am a paladin, sir! He is a blessed machine! Every morning!

[02:18:30] Um, so, um, I had the Et number one try to convince its brother, its brother head not to fight him. He rolled nat one. Um, so, um, uh, I actually need copper, or not copper, I need, um, Rob and, um, and, uh, Fintan to, um, roll a dex save as, uh, they are tumbling past you guys. Oh, okay. As there's like, no, get off me!

[02:18:57] As there's like, as, uh, willing to start fumbling, I assume that, uh, this drow has to make one as well. Yes. The dex save, you say? Yep. Nat one. It didn't roll, it bounced, but I'm gonna take it. Okay. Uh, yeah, I did fine. Um, I rolled a 17. Plus 3. 20. 20? Okay, you managed to save your 20. I gotta fix my rolling technique.

[02:19:23] I hate when it just bounces, because it feels like that's not technically a roll, but I don't wanna be a dick about it. I understand, I don't technically roll either. No, you don't, you spin to win. I spin to win! So, 13 damage to Rob, actually no, you rolled on that one? Yes. Um, 26. How much health do you have? All of it. Um, you don't, you don't critically miss saves.

[02:19:52] Rob dead. Uh, 13 damage to you and the drow. Uh, as, uh, basically the, the, the, uh, that was fighting itself, um, tumbles past you guys, crushing, like, kind of just, like, falling over. Yeah, falling over and like, and you hear like, down those steps.

[02:20:47] Yes. Uh, and then the ballets, uh, and then the ballets appears. Um, so, meeny, meeny, miny, you know what, I'm just gonna roll a d3. Me! So, one, the rob, uh, fintan, or the drow. Oh, okay. You might fight the drow. Gotcha. Um, that's just finntastic.

[02:21:09] What'd you say? So, that's gonna be 23? That'll hit it. I need 4d12s. Oh. Is that all? You say what? 4d12s.

[02:21:40] Let's just die 12s. Let's just die 12s. Nobody will die 12s. Except for goblins. Yeah. And barbarians. Yeah. And goblin barbarians. And great axes. And great axes. Okay, I think I have... Okay, alright. Fine.

[02:22:14] Apparently I could just res rob by using a skull slot. Yeah, that, that's news. Probably should've done that before. Hey, now you have a lot of spell slots to do that. Um, 24 damage. Just keep sending them out there. Die, res. 24 damage? It takes 15. Okay. The bullet has been hurt! Oh, no, it had been hurt before. Yeah. Okay.

[02:22:43] Sorry, I took how much? You took, uh... 24? 24, yeah. Okay. And, uh, Kirklus. Okay, so I'm on the deck. Yes. They are moving the ship, um, into... I'm within 600 feet. You are within 600 feet, yeah. Okay. Getting drunk off of potions. I'm gonna go hang over the edge of the deck... Yep. ...with my bow. I'm gonna target the shark monster,

[02:23:13] cause it's in melee. Yeah, it's currently chomping on your friend. So I get advantage. He has no idea I'm there, so sneak attack. He's already damaged, so bonus dice. I'm gonna use sharpshooter, so minus five, plus ten damage. Aw, fuck off. Ha ha ha ha. That won't do it. Damn it. Alright, let's try this again. Second attack. Cause I get those. Oh, there's a good rune.

[02:23:43] 75. 18 to hit. 18 to hit? That hits. 75 to hit. Also, I just realized, when I was dimdoring away, I probably should have used a rune on you, Aaron. I keep forgetting that I have those. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm concerned about you, buddy. You're done them by yourself with all this shit. There's a lot less shit. Yeah. The addons are taken care of. Most of the drow were done. In 12, 22. The drow evacuated because it was like, oh, the giant, the big guys have got it. Yeah.

[02:24:12] Really all that's left is the boulette. Yeah. 22 damage on the boulette. Okay. He's not dead. But he's, he's hurting. So how much damage? 22. 22, yeah. Okay, he's still fine. I mean, he's bloody, but he's... Oh my God. We need this boulette for somebody. There's somebody in town that needs this boulette as a pet. The boulette pet? Bullet Bill. Bill. Yeah. The carriage, the sky coach guy that you guys recruited for, the bug bear. They bill. No.

[02:24:42] Bullet Bill? Okay. That, I mean, yes, that's totally valid and I love it. But no, I was thinking the miner. No. Gnarly Gnarle. Gnarly Gnarle. Okay. Yeah, so... What about the cryptid hunter? Fuck man! The cryptid hunter, if you kill it, you can also sell the body parts to the, uh, to the, um... It's profit regardless. Yeah, you can sell them as a pet or as parts. Yup. Yup. Technically you can probably sell the Ettin stuff parts too. Yeah.

[02:25:12] Yeah? Yeah. I was at Ettin testicles before. It's a very specific rare part. It's a rare drop. They're seared Ettin testicles. Yeah. They're like bull testicles from, uh... In their first edition. It's like, uh, it's like Far Cry 5, the, uh, that, that, uh, uh, the, the testi festival or the testicles festival. What the fuck? I'm not joking. There's an entire, like, side quest about a festival, a barbecue festival in, in, in, in Far Cry 5, in the valley, in that valley, like, state, or like state valley of

[02:25:41] Berlin, where they are, you eat bull testicles and drink shots. Nice. Shots. Shots. Shots. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Anyway, yeah, um, so you don't kill the, the bullet with your attack, but it, it's getting there. It's, it's definitely looking hurt. Um, Vintay, you're up. Okay. Okay. So, bullet to the left of you. Drow to the right. Here I am stuck in the middle with Ettin's. Yeah? Yeah? Uh, shit.

[02:26:14] If there was... Okay, I'm gonna turn to Rob. Rob, get the drow. I'm going to banish my sword and conjure a bullwhip. Okay. And I'm going to make an intimidation or animal handling, whichever you would prefer, to frighten the bullet into submission.

[02:26:45] Animal handling. It is weak enough, I will say it's weak enough. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Uh, and what is my animal handling? That is... Okay, so... 22. Okay, so you, you, the first whip crack happens and it, like, like, does that weird drumming,

[02:27:15] like, roar at you? And then, like, the next whip crack happens and it, like, kind of, like, shies away from that. And then it eventually, like, the third whip crack is actually kind of what, like, cows it. She has summoned a chair as well. To, like, hold the chair in. Yes. I've got, I've got a conjured shadow chair and bullwhip. Well, the first whip crack, it bit the chair in half. Mm, fair. Fair enough. Toss it aside and keep going. And then, like, you, you manage to power into submission. Okay.

[02:27:45] Alright. Well, that's got the, uh, uh, now hopefully Kirkless can, uh, hit the drow. Okay. Uh, well, first off, it's actually, uh, it's actually the drow who's going to, um, uh, he, he, yeah, it was you and then the drow and then. I'm gonna let you finish. Mm-hmm. You could talk to mines, right? Yeah. You should probably tell him not to shoot it. Oh. Yeah, okay. Don't shoot the. Don't shoot the bullet. Because he was just shooting at it. Shoot the drow. Yeah.

[02:28:15] Shoot the smaller target, please. Um, the drow actually does, um, take a few steps back to, uh, after the drow. After, like, kind of realizing, like, okay, I should be in combat. Or in melee. I mean, I should use what works. And just start throwing. Okay. So it backed out of melee combat. Huh? It backed out of melee combat. He disengaged. Which is an action so he doesn't get to attack. Yes. Okay, fine. Okay. And then, but he does, can you use a move action to, uh, to, to get farther away though? Yes.

[02:28:45] That's what he's doing. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Because you, you said that he was going to throw stuff. So. So he's moved. Yeah. So he disengages, moves away, to get back, honestly to get back to his stockpile of boomerangs. That's fair. We never wanted the adobe huts. Mm-hmm. So. Okay. Um, and then like, also you might hear everyone's like, get us out of here. It's not. The giants aren't working. Help. None of this worked. These are tougher adventures than we had to do with the past. It worked really well on me. Yeah. Yeah. It really did.

[02:29:15] Um, sort of. Sort of. That was the plan. You soaked up all the damage and left me like primed to fight. Yeah, pretty much. That's not how this was supposed to go. Did you miss the memo? Yes. Yeah. You're next. Uh, range on the, uh, the drow from where I am. Uh, it's at half cover at this point cause it's kind of, at this point you guys also have the roof that you're having to deal with, like of the, of the ruins. So like. I'm not down there. No, no, no, but like. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So you just got half cover.

[02:29:45] Um, but uh, it's about 500 feet. 400 feet. Yeah, okay. So. Don't. Oh! Where's your cannon? Prismatic blast. What's the range on your backup? Um. That's 500 feet. What is it? I don't have it written down actually. I just have the damage. Also, don't you have the gun? Oh, the gun's like. 120 foot range. Yeah, 120. 120 is also the same as my, um, uh, my spells.

[02:30:15] At least some of the. It's, um, I know it's a heavy crossbow, I think is the, uh. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what the range is for a heavy crossbow. Magic missile's my longest range attack. It can go up to, um, 240. Yeah, you guys are still only like, what, 400, within about 400 feet from the, uh. Okay. From the, uh. You don't have a long bow? No. My longest bow is the heavy crossbow. Okay. I will check the range on the heavy crossbow.

[02:30:41] And regardless, I can still use stuff that's 120, like guns and such, because I'll just be rolling at disadvantage to reach out. No. No. Cause like, okay, your gun is 40, 120. Yes. So, 40 foot range. Up to 120. Disadvantage up to 120. And then it's up. Yeah. That's true. Uh, spells are, your spell is a maximum range of 240, but you don't take disadvantage in there. And I can't, yeah, cause I can't go past that, yeah. Uh. So basically if I want to help, I'm gonna be going back down the rope.

[02:31:13] The heavy crossbow's range, max range is 400. Really? Yeah. Goddamn. Longbow's maximum range is 600. Okay, this is. That's awesome. Um, so, here's the other thing. Now, cause as you're. Where are you still? Okay, so I'm looking over the edge. Oh, I should look at the edge. You do see movement. The cannons start coming out of the holes. Their, their spots on the side. Yeah.

[02:31:43] Excellent. Three on, uh, on this wall, on the side of the boat. That being said, all the big things are taken care of. Yeah, that's true. They're readying their cannons to fire down there. No, no, no. Fuck it. We're leveling that Adobe Village. The whole thing. He's down there? I don't care. He's not in the Adobe Village. It's right next to you. All of those huts. All of those huts are gonna be just rubble. That's fine. In five seconds. Let's get our friends out of the, my dog's down there. Okay. We're doing this in British style. We don't want it to be rubble. Yeah.

[02:32:16] We're doing this in British style. Gunboat diplomacy. Fair, but regardless, I think we should get him out of there first. Um, okay. When you talk to people's heads, can you only do one at a time? Uh, I think so. Okay, so he knows. Regardless, um, I might have to dim door back down there just to get back in the fight real quick. Uh, oh man, this is so good.

[02:32:46] Probably. I mean, I could also just tell the guys, like, don't shoot yet. That's all, they're doing that soon, because they're gonna be firing on the next round. Like, on their turn. Okay. Just after you. Um, maybe I'll tell them, like, okay, do a test fire to make sure that they work, because these were in storage and they might not even work for all we know, but do not target the ground yet until we have- Fire a warning shot across the- Across his nose. Yeah, across that drow's nose down there.

[02:33:16] Across the tip of his penis. You know what, Dave? What? You roll the d20 to attack it, or to fire it. You're hitting a broad side of the barn, so he's only a thrift from the 10. Don't worry, I'll roll a one. Go for it. Watch me. I'm actually gonna roll a one. Eleven? Hey! There's two ones in that. Okay. Where are my d10s?

[02:33:49] I don't know if I have enough d10s for the first shot. You don't know if I have enough d10s? Ah, it's eight d10s. First shot. I need one more d10. Hang on. Eight d10s. Eight d10 for a cannon, if I believe. Jesus. Okay, I need to learn to conjure a cannon. Okay. And then to add Eldritch Smite onto it. Yeah. You're just gonna be the Green Lantern.

[02:34:19] Like... That's basically what you're becoming right now. Kinda, I guess. Yeah. You're not wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well. So, um... Hang on. Okay, we'll figure out what this is. Like, we're yours. I'm surprised to say, um... One of the... The most outward adobe hut no longer exists. It's just a cloud...

[02:34:48] An explosion of rubble and dust. Um, and maybe some limbs? You're not exactly sure. Uh, and it kinda comes... It kinda happens in a flash. Um... And, uh, I actually need to roll to see if... Cause, technically, the drow was right next to those adobe huts. You know. So I'm gonna make him more brief, but... I guess there's really not much to search left in there.

[02:35:16] I did tell him to not shoot directly down there. I guess he did anyways. No, he said not to shoot one of the... Like, he shot one of the farthest adobe huts. I told him to, like... Do a test fire. Yeah. Do a test fire. Do not actually shoot in the combat area. Uh, fine. He shot... He didn't do that. He shot the stairwell. The stairs. Mm-hmm. Giant stairs. Um... However, as... As you...

[02:35:56] You're gonna... Alright. I don't even have to worry about copyright on that one. That's just... Yeah, yeah. Um... So, um... So the cannon goes off, like, destroys the giant stairs. Um, but then you feel a rumbling sound. Uh, you need to roll a dex check. Uh, a dex save. As the ceilings... Part of the ceiling starts collapsing above you.

[02:36:30] Actually, probably. Uh, 17? 17. 18. Okay, so that halves the damage... Of the prolapsing ceiling. Um... What? Somebody scored a critical hit on me earlier. Mm-hmm. Only they didn't. Because I have an adamantine breastplate, which negates critical hits. Ah, too late now. We'll do it. I just...

[02:36:59] Son of a bitch! They happen so rarely, like, it's hard to remember, you know? Yep. So you rolled a... Sorry, what did you get on your, uh... Your dex save? Uh, 17. Okay. So you... You and the drow, um, both manage to get out of the way of a lot of the rubble, but you

[02:37:26] don't get rid of all the rubble, because it's collapsing down over your heads and stuff. Because I don't have improved evasion, yeah. So you take... So you guys are both taking about 12 damage. As pieces... Large chunks of rubble are coming down. Um, the ettin that was, like, his squiggly bits were all, like, hurt and, like, removed and stuff. His head just get crushed by some falling debris. No! Which ettin? The one that was on the ground. Oh, the one with these balls I chopped off? Yeah. Okay. So that one's dead. The eunuch. Yeah.

[02:37:55] Uh, the billet, um, begins burrowing. Oh, no, no. The billet, um, just starts, like, kind of like, this doesn't bother him as much. Or hurt. Who knows? Mm-hmm. You can teleport, right? Short distances. Um, is 600 feet a short distance? No. Can you teleport anywhere? God, you're useless now. You teleported me, like... Yeah, you teleported him, like, across town. Oh, right, yeah, I've got that helmet. Yes, I could teleport a very long way. Yeah.

[02:38:25] Okay. Just get back on the ship, dumbass. The fight's not done. Grab the shark monster, get back on the ship, we'll blow the hell out of a bunch of tannels. I can teleport him. I can teleport everyone. Sure. Um, so yeah, the, uh, the, uh, the drow is, like, leaps out of the way and, like, starts running down the stairs trying to get, like, to the jungle. Um... Welcome to the jungle! So that'll hit, he's, but he's gotta get down there and, like, like, dealing with all the crumbling and some of that, so...

[02:38:53] Are we also here to get something, not just murder these people? Yeah, you're here to get a dragon shark. These are the front door, uh, like, guards. You guys are going to go to this temple. Um... If we bombard this too much, we won't be able to get in because of all the collapse. We'll deal with that later. Um, okay, so... We'll burn that bridge when we get there. Yeah. Uh, so this is actually top of the round. The billet, um, is sticking around you, like, but evading the, uh, some of the debris. Uh, Kirk, what would you like to do? That, uh, that drow is trying to run down the stairs. I'm targeting that drow. Yeah.

[02:39:24] Fuck that guy. Uh, I don't have... I don't have advantage on this one. No. You could. Yeah. Uh, because you can bonus action hide, and then once you're hidden, break your hide to make your shot. I don't think that works. No. Why not? He's hanging up... He's 600 feet away on the bridge of a shore. 400 feet away. You're 400 feet away on the deck of a ship.

[02:39:52] Oh, right, but you're 400 feet away, so you're at disadvantage. No. No, I'm not. No. Sharp shooter. I take no disadvantage from cover or, uh, range. I would say that the, the reason is because the drow is expecting some kind of attack from that, that chair ship. Yeah. Be it from a sniper or a cannon. Something's coming down on him. Yeah. He doesn't know what. He's serpentining down those steps.

[02:40:22] Okay. Did the other drow not come out to help him? No, they, they just kind of... They just left this guy to die? Yeah. Well, cause they... We're gonna have to recruit him, aren't we? So, did he? I missed. Okay. Both times? Not yet. We'll try the second one. Yeah, both times. Okay. Um, okay. Uh, next up is spin 10. Now you can, I guess, teleport with your bullet and you back to the ship.

[02:40:53] And Rob. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, Rob should roll a, uh, a dex save. On what? From the damage. I mean I will. From the ceiling falling. Oh yeah, yeah, sure. That's a 15 plus stuff. Okay, he, uh, halves the damage, so 12 damage. Okay. It takes up Rob. Yeah, a little bit. Okay. Okay. Okay, uh, then I'll call Rob over.

[02:41:23] And I'll move over to the bullet. Tentatively put a hand out to it. Do the whole, uh, how to train your dragon thing. Okay. Chops up your head, your hand. Okay. I can get a cool robo hand now, that's fine. Oh, I get a robo hand that turns into a gun? Hell yeah. Fuck yeah. You're just helping him. No, you, it's like, it nudges you for a second. Like, it's just like rumbling and something. It's like, this is a nice, very interesting moment. Tender moment. Tender moment. As it like, uh, trusts you.

[02:41:53] Or at least, is subdued by you. Okay. And then I'm going to teleport it and Rob and myself up to the ship. Uh, roll another animal handling as the bullet is freaking out. I'm moving, there's no ground on me. I'm, what, what, what? Like, it's like that kind of thing. It's when a dog is in an elevator and they just don't look at you. Uh, okay. Well, I don't have the bullwhip this time, so I don't have that on my side. Oh, I should have done that with advantage the first time. Oh, well.

[02:42:23] Uh, 18 plus 4, 22. Okay. So as some guards, some of the crew start coming out with like, like, skull cutlasses, you like, wave them off and then like, do that like, either do the, the, the, the rafter thing where you're just like, like that. Yeah. Or like, or like, start like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. Calm down. Like in like, calm, like trying to crocodile dundee. Yeah. Basically. Yeah. Um, and uh, yeah. Um, that's what you managed to do. So, and Kevin Twilio's like, ah, a bullet.

[02:42:53] They, they, they come with, they go with a high price, uh, in some markets a year. I mean, we need it for a shot. Ah, I see. Yes. Um, so as the ship drops like a hundred feet. Because of the weight. We're used to this kind of cargo. Um, you, quote the master, open, open the cargo hold. And then they start pushing the cargo hold, like shutting the cargo hold. That's a good boy. Girl? Boy? Um, uh, you have to roll nature or like. Arcane. Uh, probably nature of some kind.

[02:43:23] Does it have a tail? Yeah. Okay. So this roll is how high he can lift the tail. Uh, shoot. Probably, um, nature, nature, nature. Okay. So it's a J. So that's eh. 17 plus 2 plus 2. So 21. Okay. Uh, you, it looks like a female breed. Or a female of the, of the breed. That's a good girl. Um, her name is Buletta. Did you get that bull-oosey?

[02:43:54] Uh, the drow, um, makes it into the jungle. You, uh, you see Kirklus like it just, it goes into the, into the jungle. That, that, that drow. Um, so you, you lose him. Son of a bitch. Uh, and, uh, Copper, you're next. Didn't you have him designated it? I did not. Oh. I had, uh, the leader designated another quarry. And I didn't change it. Actually, Copper, you, you do hear from below, like, uh, below decks, like, for free.

[02:44:23] So it's from a continue firing on the temple. I kept meaning to use my bonus action. Ah. Um, well, I'll pose that question to everyone else. Are we gonna just barrage this temple from up here? Yes. Or are we gonna go back down and... I don't know if we were like, I would, uh, suggest against that, um, you are, you are, we are supposed to get a rather valuable dragon charge from that temple. Alright, we don't barrage the temple, we just barrage the village. Yeah, what village?

[02:44:51] All those adobe huts down there. I don't wanna see them anymore. How did you see that, Kai? I'm not gonna have fun. We were down there, that's how we know. Yo, give me that! And he, like, pulls some binoculars from somebody, he's like... Oh! He's got, it's not really binoculars, it's two spy glasses that somebody has pulled together. Yeah. I was like, oh, okay, um, so you want those who to store the, the, those, those huts? I mean, there were a bunch of drow down there attacking us, and that one that ran away was not all of them. Ah, okay, well.

[02:45:22] So, should we shoot the drow huts then? Yes! Absolutely! We can either bombard them, and kill them from the sky, or go down there and loot the huts, and have to fight them in melee. I am often a fan of looting, but, you know, our ranger companion has taken too much of a beating to want loot. Um... Point of war, though.

[02:45:51] Um, this is three-lot. Obviously. All three cannons on the, are on this, on the, on the, on the, on the stunwards? Must be the starboard side? Yeah. On the starboard side, or one shot? Do you think we'll do that? Bring our full firepower to bear! That is... I'm gonna be casting Mend on Rob while this is happening, while Rob is using... Actually, would you allow that? Rob has a repair mode.

[02:46:21] Can I Mend while he's repairing? I'm not even gonna... I kinda wanna roll the, the three times... The three times eight d10s of damage. But I kinda just wanna narrate that you guys just destroyed the front of this temple in the process. Let's see how much damage this is. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

[02:46:50] So after 154 damage... Yeah. I think, suffice to say, there is a lot of dust and debris, and once the... It takes about an hour for the dust to settle. Oh, so I've healed. And you look down, and the entire front of that temple is caved in. Nice. Excellent. That's what you get. Mm-hmm.

[02:47:24] So... You guys were asses. Trio was just like... How, how was the... Wait. Look, suffice to Fintan. You have a bullet. I do. Why does that matter? Cause they burrow. Oh. They are the ambassadors that burrow. They are land sharks for a reason. So... You guys going back down to that? Yep.

[02:47:55] Oh, so you said it took 10 minutes? 10 minutes for... No, no, that was an hour. Okay, so... Was that a long rest? Yes. It's a short rest, yeah. Okay. It took about an hour for the dust to settle from the debris. I believe short rest, I can use Arcane Recovery to get one back. Yep. Well, here's the whole thing, that the... The inside of the temple is still intact. Should be fine. Okay, so...

[02:48:24] Yeah, if you're going to go down there, are you taking your bullet down there as well? Uh... I suppose so. I do have an alternative if it doesn't work. Okay. I'm gonna heal my bullet. Fair. Alright, then, yeah, you heal, like, Max? Uh... That's not its name. I'm sorry guys, it just dies. It just dies. Rob died.

[02:48:53] Um... Rez. It's fine now, I just think... Unrezzed, it can't be rezzed again. Oh damn. It requires a wish. Before the beginning of the rest, I would have cast Maximum Cure Wounds. Okay. Which is third level for me. So I'm just gonna take like half this adventure just like... Really? Yeah, you guys basically just destroyed like... A good chunk of the game. Why?

[02:49:23] Well no, you didn't destroy the game, but you just... You're basically bypassing a whole section of the... Of just getting in through the door? Yeah. It's fine. It's fine. Dude, give us cannons, we will shoot them. I shouldn't have given you cannons. Yeah. That's why I'm trying to move the skyship away when I realized... Wait, no, that skyship's up there, I gotta get that in the fuck away. Damn it, you guys looked at it. Yeah.

[02:49:59] So I healed the boulette for 20. Nice. So that is... Guess I'm gonna need a companion sheet for it. So that gives it a 43 HP currently. Okay. Which is not its max. Okay, I'll do it again, but this time using the mandolin. Because it also will cure wounds once a day. That's alright. 13 and 4.

[02:50:28] Wow, come on Aaron. 17, 20. Another 20. Okay. Still not fully healed, but... It's feeling much better. Yeah. And it likes me more now. It licks you. It's very... It's like a lion tongue or like a cat's tongue. We can use our hit dice to heal ourselves over the long rest, right? Yes, we can. Do you just use one or as many as you want? We can use as many as you like. Okay, let's do a short rest. Yeah, okay.

[02:50:57] Also, how do we determine how many max hit dice we have for that? Isn't it just level of your hit dice? Yeah, it's... So it's based on what levels you have of what. So... I have a mixed pool of hit dice. Yes. Okay. I should determine that. So I get 2 die 10 and 8 die 8. Okay.

[02:51:33] 2 hit dice left. And then you just... You regain at the start of like a long rest, right? Yes. Yeah, I have not been using these and I really should. 24... Oh. I have not had these yet. Yeah. 4... 8 days. I'm almost at full. Nice. Same.

[02:52:02] Pretty close. I'm going back up to 5. I guess that's good enough.

[02:52:43] 48 worth of healing if we have to rest again. So... Do you guys... After the short rest and such, do you guys... Do you use your teleportation to teleport you and the bullet back down to the ground level? I guess so. Are any of your friends going with you down there? I can take everyone. Okay. Can you?

[02:53:13] Yep. Captain Toilo says he will... I can take like 5 or 6 willing creatures. I can't hear about the moisture coming off the air in the AC. Was it dripping in something? Yeah. It's dripping off the AC. What does it drip into? I have a bowl over there. Oh, I see. Hopefully it's actually hitting the bowl, going in the bowl. Oh, it's like an old school poor person's house. Yeah, it is. You heard that too, right? That person screaming.

[02:53:43] That wasn't a person. Oh, what? That wasn't a person. There is moisture just dropping on the side. That was an animal. Okay. We should drop a gear too. Okay, we'll just turn off the AC then. Just buy the water cooler. Should I just put a towel? Like if that was level enough you can put a towel up there? Why don't we take this one over here? Just learn to tell her. You're a towel! So yeah, you guys all teleport down.

[02:54:12] And it's not a pretty sight. We immediately fan into Charlie's Angels poses. Yeah. Yeah. There's gore. The two Ettin bodies are like half buried, but they're also just all over the place. Trees have fallen over that were closest to the temple site. The whole thing is like, there's still like the odd sound of like debris falling down off the slope. And then you guys hear a call out from behind you in the jungle.

[02:54:42] It's like, hey! Were you the assholes that just fucking blew up the temple front? That's asshats to you. That is asshats, sir! Alright, assholes, asshats, I don't fucking care. You guys turn around and there's an Efreet in dragon armor. And looking at you guys very sternly with his sword out. And that drow next to him. Oh, he a tidal donut.

[02:55:11] How many bigger friends do you have? How many of your bigger friends do you need to kill? This is in the adventure. Also, this Efreet has like a fucking dragon lion next to him. Of course he does! I'm not joking! I know you're not! I mean, I don't know him, but... Yeah, so this Efreet, this like red... What is an Efreet?

[02:55:38] A big muscly, muscular-looking man with horns on his head, kind of protruding from his head, like how it was like Darth Maul-y kind of looked like. So it was a demon-like... And red, but um... And yeah, like red, kind of red skin. So he's wearing this like red dragon armor. Like dragon-helmed armor. Is he wearing nude color armor? Yeah. That's not cool. That's actually kind of what he looks like. Oh yeah. He's kind of like dragon armor. Drag in armor.

[02:56:07] So he's dressed like a woman in armor. So that's always in the way of moving it. Yeah, he's just like looking at you guys, it's like... Did you guys seriously just fucking blow up the front of that temple? Well, we leveled the threat, yeah. Fuck. Your little friend decided to attack us just because we showed up. Yeah, because you are trespassing. You asshats.

[02:56:37] Oh, great. Okay, so we saw all of your signs up. Your legal documentation saying that people shouldn't be here. The drow points out, I did tell you you were on sacred ground and to leave. Multiple times we told you to leave. Yeah, and I saw no documentation to prove that you were supposed to be here. Nor official badges. Nor any sort of ownership or deed to the property.

[02:57:07] How else do you order this? The drow is like, my people have been here for a thousand years. Since we were enslaved by our former masters who built these ruins. Oh yeah, my cannons have been here for five years. Squatter's rights, but what? He says in some form in Elvish. Yeah. Squatter's rights so long as you can successfully defend it, which it appears you cannot. Okay, look.

[02:57:37] This is the free talk. Go over there. The adults are talking. I don't care about that fucking temple. What I do care about is who is inside of that temple. Kind of. My employer is in that temple watching over this relic. Some kind of large dragon shard. My name is Durban. I work for the...

[02:58:06] I work for the... Looks at a shield. I just joined. Hang on. I gotta refresh myself on this. What are they called? I work for the chamber. Of gongers? Of dragons. Oh. So... This isn't Shadowrun.

[02:58:31] Anybody can roll a knowledge if you got it. Probably not. Oh, no. Somebody else needs to do this. 17? 17? Okay. One. Can I roll even though I'm not a good shot? It's in the house. Nope. You've actually... You have heard of the chamber. They are a group of dragons from Arganessus. Or Arganessus, the dragon continent. Hmm.

[02:59:01] Who go around looking into prophecies. Like dragon prophecies. Which are a big deal about... They've been around since time of memorial and stuff in everyone's history. Yeah. And... Yeah, so... It appears that... They're a big... They're kind of a... They're not a big deal. They're not a big deal in the grand scheme of dragon society, but they're kind of a big deal. They're connected to the big deal. Yeah. They aren't themselves the big deal. They're not the count...

[02:59:30] They're adjacent to a big deal. They're not like a governing council in the dragon society, but they're like a group that is... It's still a group of dragons. So, question. Yeah. Within this... Group of commerce... The chamber. Within the chamber. Is the chamber like all kinds of dragons? Or is it like specifically good dragons? Or a specific breed of dragons? Or is it like...

[02:59:59] What are we talking about? Give me a second. It is a loose alliance of dragons. More than about a hundred or so. There's not a whole lot that you guys would know about them aside from like there being a big deal on like Arcanessan. They do... Tend to... Yeah, they... They are made up of a lot of the metallic dragons.

[03:00:28] So generally speaking good dragons? Generally. They also like to take a... I'm going to... They also like... Sorry. They do tend... A lot of the dragons actually that work around in Corvair, it is rumored to... They are rumored to be working for this... The chamber. Okay. So I'm going to project into their heads specifically. Um... So... We have a dragon egg. You know, it's a dragon hatchling now. Yeah. Well, sorry. We have...

[03:00:57] We have a dragon hatchling. We have a dragon young... We are caretakers for a dragon. We might be able to leverage that. Is it with us? No. No. But he's in a freak. He can probably tell if we're lying. You also know... Sorry. They are enemies of the Lord of Dust. Who's the Lord of Dust? Who is... It's one of the major demon lords. That are antagonistic to the Church of the Silver Flint. Alright, I'm going to have to mouth Azar this, I guess.

[03:01:28] It's a thing that you do quite well. Alright. So I'll throw my cape off of my shoulder... To show my... Inflamed... Silver flame. Hi. I'm Fintan. Fintan Polaris. Fist of the North Star. These are my compatriots. Dick. And... Copper. Okay. I mean, that is kind of your name.

[03:01:57] It is, but I don't know if you call him that. I don't even say an elephant. It's okay. And... We are... Sorry. And I am the Fist of the North Star. We are the slayers of... What was that demon that we killed? In the Banana Republic? What demon? What demon? Oh, you fought off a lesser servitor of the Demogorgon. Yeah. Okay.

[03:02:26] Slayers of servitors of the Demogorgon. And caretakers for... And what did we name the hatchling? Zanduncle. Zanduncle. And caretaker of Zanduncle. The illustrious bronze. Who? Zanduncle. He's a hatchling. Bronze dragon. You have a... Hatchling of a bronze dragon. Well, no. We are caretakers.

[03:02:55] We don't play ownership. Who gave you caretakership of a dragon? Of a bronze dragon child? We rescued it. Okay. Who did we rescue it from? We found it in a vault. Yeah, he was in the bank. It was in that bank vault in the war. Oh, right. We rescued it from a vault filled with undead. Where? A long way away from here. Please. That hurt him to say,

[03:03:25] Can you tell me where you found that egg? Or where they found that young dragon. That dragon wolf. Well, we didn't find him as a wealth. We found him as an egg. Must be very frustrating for a genie to have somebody else talking words around them. Just tell me. I may need to report that dragon.

[03:03:55] Like, to the chamber. We like to know where our kin... They like to know where their kin are sometimes. Especially the younger ones. That's one of the reasons I'm fucking here anyway. I don't know. How do you guys feel about that? Should we tell? I vote we kill him. Yeah, but you vote that you kill everybody. That is pretty much always your vote. Yeah.

[03:04:24] I mean, he works with the good guys. Quote, unquote. I mean... You're standing next to the guys that killed me. Because you were invading their home. We did literally invade their home and bomb their village. You literally destroyed where the... God, where the Spanish... Yeah! Don't leave me playing the song again. You thought you were Indiana Jones. Turns out you're the conquistadors. Yeah, I love that. That's good too. I mean, pretty accurate with the accent that you can throw up. What's a great thing I mean?

[03:04:53] I'm gonna start strumming a few lines. Conquistadors. What rhymes with Conquistador? We'll show that... I'll table that for now. I'm here as the... as the bodyguard for... or overseer of... of... one of the members of the chamber. They're in that temple that you've now blocked off.

[03:05:23] Do you have any way of getting... We have two ways of getting in at least. Do you? Yes. This is Letta. Isn't she pretty? Just... Didn't see it. She's very straight. She was off the street. Just pants slightly to the right. Sorry, it's his helmet. It pulls it off. It ruins his peripheral vision. Oh, you have his helmet off?

[03:05:53] Yes. I should. Oh. Oh, Curtis. You little scamp. Always causing diplomatic instances. He really is. It's like your thing. Okay. I just know that I need to either... I need to make sure my ward is safe in there.

[03:06:23] I don't care about whatever's going on there, but he seems to... He was dead set on keeping an eye on that dragon shard and protecting it from anybody who might want to move it. Which sounds like you guys. That is exactly us. Okay, well we're at a bit of an impasse then. Because I don't care personally if it moves or anything. I don't fucking care.

[03:06:43] I've been employed by the chamber to watch my ward and he is dead set on protecting that dragon shard. Okay, well your ward... Can I ask... Is it racist to ask what color he is? No. He's copper. Okay. Yeah, that's me. I... I'm sorry. He was right there, man. That's actually what he does.

[03:07:12] Like, he's like... Hey, I'm copper. Nice to meet you. Is it when he sees your color... The color is right and he's like, oh. Yes. Yes, you are. No, he's a copper dragon. Well, okay. Okay, so from what I know about copper dragons, they are actually pretty entertaining and they like practical jokes. But they're good conversationalists. And rather headstrong and brash and idiots when they're younger.

[03:07:42] And how young is this one? About 200 years. So that's pretty young. Yeah. And he insisted on coming out this far away from Arganesson. Okay, okay. For this prophecy. What if we go down and talk to him? What if we could talk him into letting us take it? Actually, he starts chuckling and it's like... It sounds like a joke. But then the drow next year was like, ha ha!

[03:08:12] Try... I'd like to see you try. Because not only do you have to deal with the... That copper dragon. But you also have to deal with countless more of my... That was the Efreet. And his sword. As he heads the drow. I like this guy more. The body drops. The head's still on the blade. And then it tilts it. Falls off on the ground. Sorry.

[03:08:41] He was... Anyways. I like him anyways. Yes. There are a bunch of drow in there. There was a drow, I think, somewhere in the... Ew. Well, was a drow. It looked over you guys at the rubble. She's probably somewhere there. And you look and there's debris falling. So... I'm kind of really doing it. Do we kill?

[03:09:09] So concerned about taking care of your ward. Why did you let your ward in there where there's a drider? Oh, the drider's not inside the interior of the tablets. It's one of the guards on the outside. Oh, what? I left my ward in the safe... It's... If you can get in there, you'll see what I mean. But it's a very... They only just walk in with you. They seem to respect you just fine. Roll a... Persuasion? Persuasion, yeah.

[03:09:48] 16 and... Whatever I get for bonuses, which is... Oh, right. That's on here. Persuasion, which is... Okay. 27? He might listen to me. Kershamu is pretty... Seems to like... He seems rather... He does trust me, so he may... Listen to me if I'm there. Very well, if you can get us in there.

[03:10:16] There was a key to the door. I don't think there's a door anymore. No, the door's still there. The mechanism is probably destroyed. But the... Again, it's very... Oh, we have an extra block opener. From what I understand, the chamber inside is different from out here. Some kind of... There's some kind of tampering that happened a thousand years ago when the giants were around.

[03:10:45] And it changed the interior of the temple. Ah, it's much larger on the inside. You could say that. You will know it when we get inside. I did just say that. So, yes, I could say it. Because I did. So... I guess after you guys. If you want to try and... If you have a way of getting in. Okay. It's the last time I leave to go get food. I was out hunting when I saw the airship.

[03:11:14] I go for a Tim's run. Come back to this. Holy fuck, bud. Holy fuck, bud. And I got a fucking annoying drow like come chasing me down. Like telling me what's going on. And then I hear explosions. Wait, wait, so how are you guys getting through that rubble? Should we bring the airship around for the pass? Just keep shooting holes in the rubble? Just blast the building inside.

[03:11:44] Meh. Either way, it sounds like the initial plan is to dig. Right? To burrow? Yes. To burrow. Okay. Yeah, roll a handle animal. I guess we'll have to like pull out some ropes and makeshift some reins so that we can like direct her and stuff.

[03:12:10] It's a 12 plus handle animal so I get plus 4 so 16. Okay. It's a bit slow growing. Basically night falls by the time you guys have cleared a path to where Durvan says is where the door should be.

[03:12:36] So it's already, it's like dark now. You guys are already starting to hear like the sounds of the jungle kind of coming to, spring to life. Oh god. Are there monkey horns? Not, I've seen a few apes. You did fine against monkey horns. It's just the drow that you got a problem. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, do you guys want to continue during, into night while this is going on or take a rest? I guess we should probably take a rest.

[03:13:05] We could go back up to the ship and take a long rest. Yeah. We'll come back in the morning. Okay. Very well, I'll remain here. I guess I'll make a camp somewhere. In front of the tunnel we've made. If you swear yourself to peace then you can come up to the ship too. Roll a persuasion.

[03:13:36] Fourteen plus eleven, is that twenty-five? Yeah, sure. It's been a while since I've been in a nice country bed. I've been on rocks and ground and palm tree leaves for the last like two or thirty months. So yeah. What is that grin for? Do not murder him in his sleep. Don't, don't do it. I say that out loud. Fair.

[03:14:07] I will teleport us all up to the, after we have butchered and bagged up the Entens. Yeah, that's fine. As you were digging, you found the bodies. Partially to crush. Yeah, write down something like, and we'll figure that out like, when you guys get back to your monster hunting part, or monster part dealer. Okay. And then I will teleport us back up to the ship.

[03:14:36] Captain Twilo like, sees the, sees the Jinn, or the Afrit. It's like, ah, Tarvan! It's like, Captain Twilo? It's like, it has been a long time my friend! It's like, yes. Yes it has. You guys are friends I see. Yes, we are the best of friends! He like comes up, like, at the twit that comes up to him and just like, like, puts an arm around his shoulders and tries. It's like a little bit higher than him.

[03:15:04] It was like, I found, I was, I've been, I've heard him a couple of times around the corner of air. It's like, yes. Yes you have. Sounds like he loved it every time as well. Oh, he is such a, he is such a, a funny guy. This guy. This guy is unfucking believable. This guy! Okay, okay. Well then, I'm gonna, um, bump down for a long rest. Okay. Yeah.

[03:15:33] How many short rests are you allowed? Per day? Or is it just as many as you want? Okay. Whatever. So, it depends on like, technically, you never have to, there, there is a, um, archetype for one of the classes, uh, that has something to do with coffee. Okay. And, okay. That actually works as a stimulant to, um, keep you awake.

[03:16:01] Problem is, is that, um, after a day, if all you're taking are short rests, you start to take a point of exhaustion. Okay. I was mainly saying like, in the time it took for us to do all the digging, because it took most of the day, that's like a bunch of short rests to potentially get spell slots back. Ah. That's what I was referring to. Oh.

[03:16:26] Uh, you, for arcane recovery, you only get to do on one short rest. That was only the once? Only the once. Oh, okay. So the only way to regen spell slots is that one time and also long rest. Yes. Okay. Uh, but yeah, so, night passes. You guys can all regain spell slots. Regain spell slots. Yeah. And, uh, we're all full health again. Yep. Did you attempt to assassinate Sikhalva? No. Not tonight. I was discouraged from that. Yes. So I did not.

[03:16:57] But just curious, what are the cool, the cool of our rules in this? Um, so if you were already asleep, could I just murder him? It's an auto crit. That assumes that an Afrit sleeps the way regular people sleep. Um, but if you're attacking a helpless target, then it's an automatic critical hit. So probably not enough.

[03:17:28] But if all three of us did it in time. Well, yes, and that is actually a thing. Is it? Yes. If they're truly helpless, then we can delay an action to all go at once. We all get a critical hit. You get your sneak attack on it. I get my smite. Mm-hmm. Then I do what I can do. You do what you can do. Yeah.

[03:17:54] Um, and that is, well, I mean, you've, do you have any moderate to high level spells? Like damage spells? Chromatic orb. Just, yeah. Okay. Fifth level slot chromatic orb. So you could fifth level slot chromatic orb. Yeah. With a crit, and that's all doubled too. Mm-hmm. That's a lot of dice of damage. It is. Yeah. Um, so, no, we, it's not, it's not coup de gras the same, actually, there may actually

[03:18:24] be rules for coup de gras. I haven't really looked into it. But, when you're attacking a helpless creature, it's an auto crit. And when something is asleep. That is. And how does the sleep spell work on an already asleep target? Uh, sleep only works until they're attacked. Ah. So if you cast sleep on something that's already asleep, then it's still just asleep. And then as soon as it's attacked, it wakes up. Mm-hmm.

[03:19:02] It's a valid question. Mm-hmm. I'd also like to see you try. I have plus 12 to stealth. Would you, would you like to see him cry? I would like to see him cry. He almost, I almost saw him cry today. He's like, yeah, I'll leave. Bye. I got hit with so many boomerangs. So many. That was pretty bad. Yeah. Um. It does not seem to be an entry in the index. Mm-hmm.

[03:19:32] But yeah, so the morning comes. And um, you uh. No funny business has happened. Nope. Except maybe with Faye. I don't know. Well. Yeah. My rule again. Would that be a full, would that be a long rest though? As Aaron's eyebrows wiggle a little bit. What's my constitution? Yeah, probably not. Yeah.

[03:20:03] Um, but yeah, the next, uh, next morning you guys descend, either climb back down or just teleport down. Well, they threw my quote unquote long rest of not actually sleeping. Yeah. Can I work on my, um, uh, my chromatic orb wand idea? Where you can actually switch the elements on it? Yeah. Okay. I'm just picturing a lot of those like multicolored pens that you can just like slide down. It's exactly that.

[03:20:29] It's a bunch of different elements of chromatic orb that just like gets slotted in a position. Okay. But is it also pump action? Not yet. Not yet, no. Super. That's Mark, that's Mark too. Yeah. It's currently blue. When I make it a staff, yeah, this is a wand version. The wand version is like this. But it doesn't, like you slide your hand up and down, but it doesn't actually make a noise. You have to go, chh, chh, chh. Yeah, that's the verbal component. Yeah, that's the verbal component. Yeah.

[03:20:57] Alright, so, um, you guys get back down to the jungle, uh, in the, uh, the front of the temple ruins. Um, we watched this terrible Australian YouTube series. Oh. Called, uh, Wizards of Oz. Was that terrible? I don't know. It was terribly awesome. Yeah, it was terribly awesome. Yeah, it was terribly awesome. Okay, I was gonna say, yeah. I mean, it was, it was definitely B-List. Oh, yeah, yeah. But I mean, that's, it was so good. Yeah.

[03:21:23] Um, and it starts off with, like a, a wizard who is in war, and he literally pumps his staff. Yeah. And makes the chh, chh, chh noise every time he shoots somebody and they just blow up. It was great. It was fantastic. But he hated war, so then he, like, uh, plane shifted and came to our world where he just lived a normal life.

[03:21:48] And it was basically slice of life of this shitty, of this just shitty, crappy life that this wizard is living in Australia. But I think also, like, his nemesis went with him. His nemesis went with him. Yeah. There's also a bunch of, like, it was also in, like, a world where, like, there were magical creatures and fantasy creatures coming to our world as well. Mm. Yes. I think, I think a bunch of them fled. Yeah. To our world. Because their world is shit. Yes. Anyway, you guys are, are down there.

[03:22:16] Um, you, you see the, uh, the stone edifice that is the, uh, the door, um, that your bullet has managed to, uh, carve, like, out of the rubber and stuff. Okay. Undig and stuff. And I'll say this. If he's gonna take too much longer, I can try some magic on this. Yeah. I do have stone shape. Oh. Uh, well, actually, you do, um, you wanna roll, you are getting a, there's definitely a, uh, a heavy magical, um, presence. Yeah, detect magic, yeah. Yeah, so you wanna roll that? I can do that. Or not roll it, but you know.

[03:22:46] I can detect. I can just do it as a ritual, so I don't even have to burn a slot for it. Yeah. Correct. Uh, okay, um. Do I roll, I don't roll to see how much I detect, right? Yeah, you, you, you, that, that door's definitely, uh, magically sealed. Is there a downside to having to detect magic on? Not really. So shouldn't I have it on all the time? The trouble is that it takes 10 minutes to cast as a ritual.

[03:23:12] Yeah, but if it takes 10 minutes for us to get there, on travel, I just do that. Mm-hmm. And then it's going, right? Aaron, question about caster levels. Does caster level 16 still exist in 5th Ed? Yeah? Okay. Um, yeah, so the, uh, the door has a, uh, you, when you detect magic, uh, copper? Mm-hmm. It has an arcane lock warded to the door with a caster level 16. Okay.

[03:23:42] So I can't possibly fuck with that because my caster level isn't that high? Well, I mean, you, you can. Yeah. Um, uh, I will say also. We could dispel it, which would suppress it. Mm-hmm. Um, but it, it, arcane lock doesn't, it just makes a lock better. Okay. It doesn't make it impossible to get past, it just makes it better. Okay, so he could, Kirk could theoretically just pick it. Yes.

[03:24:10] I will say, uh, in the center of the door, um, there is an indentation, although it is now heavily damaged. Um, uh, it's a one inch deep and eight inch across, uh, shaped like a seven pointed star. Um, and it seems to be some kind of, like, key, there seems to be some kind of, like, magical key mechanism to it. Okay. I mean, you could try to invent the door. Uh, it's an eight pointed star, so yeah.

[03:24:39] No, it's, uh. You said seven. Yeah, seven, no, no, it's eight. Eight pointed star. Oh, okay. So it's, yeah. So it's a one, two, three, four. So it's actually like a, it's kind of like an alchemical star. I don't know if I know that one. But either way, it's not, it's irrelevant. Yeah. Oh! No, arcane lock makes something impassable in bit dead. Oh, okay. Okay. Until it is broken or the spell is dispelled or suppressed.

[03:25:06] Fasting knock on the object suppresses arcane lock for ten minutes. Uh, DC to break it or pick any locks increases by ten. Okay, so it's still pickable. Hmm. It just has a much higher DC. Okay. Should I try to pick it? Yeah, give it a shot. Yep.

[03:25:35] That's what it looks like. Oh, okay. I'm covering my head. Oh, take a, you know, you know what buddy? I'm sure that you can do this. The light of the north star's got your back. Yep, one D6. And you have plus five for my glove still, right? Yep. Okay. Also, Davern is like, or Darden is right behind you guys. Okay. His hand is just like cross-armed. Like, his sword's cheap.

[03:26:04] Like, bullshit, you guys can do this. It's like, uh... Okay, so nine, twelve, seventeen, nine, twelve, twenty-nine. It's not. It's really difficult. That was a good roll too. No, it wasn't a nine. Wow. Okay. Below average. Yeah.

[03:26:32] Yeah, you're like tinkering and it's like, how do I... And you got your, you used your, you got... You got your plus ten to using lockpicks. Okay. Plus twelve. Oh, right. Because that went up. Yep. Well, it's also because you don't, your lockpicks aren't really working because it's more like you have to like, like you had to fit a proper shape in but then like, it looks like something like the, the surface of the, inside the indentation changes when, when the right key, when something like you, you surmise the key's supposed to be in there.

[03:27:02] So like you have to like push things like tiles in and down instead of trying to figure out the right like combinations. I mean, just not figuring it out. Hmm. Hmm. Can I dispel magic on it? Yeah. So you dispel magic and then I pick it again. Yep. Okay. So dispel magic will lower the DC by ten. Mmhmm. Do I roll for dispel magic? I don't remember. Uh, no. Not in this case because arcane lock is only a second level spell. Okay.

[03:27:33] So I will use that spell slot? So spell magic just eats it. Mmhmm. Okay. That's it? Okay. Can I try again? Mmhmm. Now tap it with my multi-tool. A hat. A hat. Can I roll for notch yet please? Three, seventeen, twenty. I'm sure you got this. Twenty?

[03:27:57] You guys spend about 15-20 minutes on this thing and eventually you hear like a proper click. It doesn't open like magically but you hear that click and it's like, okay I think that's open. So you guys try pushing it and it will, it budges a little bit but you need to put a little bit more strength to it. So. Okay. Somebody's gotta push it over. I'll get it on there. Oh right, you're stronger than I am. I will assist.

[03:28:27] What's your strength? I only got a plus two. Oh. I also get a plus two. All three plus twos. Yeah. Because yeah, I have the- Rob has a higher strength than all of us. Chris, get Rob to do it. Yeah, just have him push it. Or the bullet. Mmhmm. So that's sixteen? Sixteen, okay. Um, yeah it takes uh, you start pushing it. Um, you guys start seeing dust and debris coming down a little bit. I was like, oh. But it budges another foot or two.

[03:28:58] You gotta try it again. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, you slip. Okay. On some like debris as well. At this point like, Dart would move his slide. And he just like, boots it and it just flies open. That works. Um, everybody will dex save though. Okay.

[03:29:26] As debris starts coming down from the media. From above. Dex sixteen. Sixteen? Okay. Fourteen. Fourteen. Okay.

[03:29:49] It's not as much to be falling this time around, but uh, you take four damage. Okay. What does Rob take? Oh, sure. Four centifentan- Dex save? Yeah. Eighteen? Eighteen? Okay. Uh, he manages to evade it.

[03:30:18] Like it needs to fall in the ring. Okay, cool. I'll just wait. I'll just wait. That's part of this game. I just thought you guys just like- There's a bunch of stuff you get- A bunch of rooms that you guys could have also checked into. Like, nah, blow it all up. Yeah.

[03:30:48] Just take it all out. We don't need more loot. Well, that first fight did not go well. It did. It did. By the way, this was a challenge- This, this adventure's um, base challenge rating is for like, uh, level nine players. No way. Yeah. We're level nine and we did it. Well- In hindsight, it may have been good for you to get cover. Cause I think you're just standing in the open.

[03:31:18] This is a level seven. Um, uh, uh, according to the- Well, this is a level seven in third edition. Yeah. I saw so much treasure too. There's a bunch of treasures that you could have gotten from the places that they're all collapsed and destroyed at this point, so. No getting that stuff anymore. Mm-hmm. That's fine. Better than being dead. Cause I was for a minute there.

[03:31:49] Yeah. I was really surprised how many HP those. Like, uh- The standard draw? Yeah. Well, they're, they're elite guard. Like, for this, this temple. They, they're like guarding this, this treasure. But it's very funny. Mm-hmm.

[03:32:20] I feel like if we had done that better tactically. Yeah. It would've been okay. Like, if I sent down the, um, the melee characters first and just hung out on the ship and sniped. Yeah. That probably would've been better, yeah. For sure, yeah. Cause like, first round, they start attacking a few huge- And like, they were, like, they're, you're, they're, they're there to guard this place. You're, you're telling them, it's like, oh, cousins, let's leave. It's like, you know, they're, get out, you can get away. Like, they're giving you warning. Like, they're giving you warning. Giving you warning was them being bullet.

[03:32:52] Um, and then in the second round, that bullet is supposed to show up. And then, uh, if at some point during the combat, like, things are looking grim, and one of them will, will, uh, will sign up, like, uh, signal the, uh, the two Etten's that are in chain, that are in, like, domiciles, like, on the other side of the, of the, of the, of the ruin, uh, ruin face. Um, to come out and get into the fight. It's like a big old clusterfuck of, like, lots of, like, lots.

[03:33:20] And then, and then if you go into, like, the secret hideaway, there's, like, a hall full of, like, where the drider and a bar guest, um, are, are living and lurking. And, like, been collecting occult, like, like, trinkets and, and doodads from, like, the giant, uh, giant civilization. But, you guys blew all that up. You maniacs. A little bad. Nah, just fuck all that shit. Yeah. Okay, um, you, uh, need to roll a, uh, uh, deck save.

[03:33:47] The Spanish show up, declare the McGuffin in front of God, and just blow the whole thing up. We truly are Spanish. 18. Alright, you, uh, manage to evade the, uh, the, the rest of the remaining rumble that's coming down from the ceiling as you guys push the door open. Oh, sorry, as Darwin kicks, like, Spartan kicks the door open. Um. That's a good move. And, uh, looking through this huge stone door, uh, is like peering through a portal to an alien plane.

[03:34:17] The solidity of the heavy stone walls and floor is replaced by feelings of decay and entropy. The floor consists of platforms and islands separated by rifts filled with roiling multicolored mists. The walls have mostly crumbled away. Beyond is not the expected foliage of the jungle, but a warped landscape of blasted rock wreathed by the same rainbow mists.

[03:34:45] The ceiling has mostly crumbled away as well, revealing a pale purple sky. Inside? Yeah. Uh, and I also need you two to roll me will saves. You two being me and Kirk. Yeah. This weird roll. No, you're fine. For now. Oh, I failed. Great fail. Um.

[03:35:15] What did, uh, uh. A wisdom save? Yeah. Ten. Okay, so you failed. Excellent. Um, so you guys are like walking in, like kind of evading, like you're like, or more or less rushing in because, oh God, the, the, the debris and some of that. And it doesn't clog your way out, but there's like now a pile of debris where you guys were. Uh, and you guys like look around, like check yourselves, check, check everybody.

[03:35:39] And why does Fintan have a giant shrimp-like octopus crustacean thing on his head that just faded into existence? How giant are we talking? Um, about the size of Fintan, um, over, but like coiling kind of around you and like part of, some of the, some of the, uh, the tendrils are inside of you and around, and it's crowned over on top of your head. Uh. Uh, you okay there Fintan? There's something behind you. It looks at you guys.

[03:36:09] As I draw my gun. Do I have something on my face? No, you got a creature behind me. It looks at you guys and like, it's one of its longer mandibles is just like, like waving. It's either waving at me or giving me a target, I'm not sure. Uh, this is what it looks like. Uh, it's also got these like little blot, these little blotches, um, kind of trail off of it. It kind of looks like energy strands forming plaid. Plaid?

[03:36:39] Is that him waving? Yeah. Wait, are you saying that he has a plaid ephemera? Yes. Interesting. So he looks like that. Um, yeah, it's like this combination of... Do I get to see? No. Oh no, you don't get to see yet. Um, okay. Yeah, they're, they're, you see that, you notice that your friends are just looking on in like abject terror of you. And then the Efreet is even like, I didn't realize you were a Kalishtar. Do we know what a Kalishtar is? How's a Kalishtar?

[03:37:08] Do we know what a Kalishtar is? Come on guys, we got shit to do. Let's keep going. Do we know what a Kalishtar is? Um, yeah, yeah. I don't know if they're called it. Yeah, yeah, that's, it's general. It's, they're generally known, like in, in code there. Yeah. Kalishtar are humans or elves or half elves or what have you, um, that are descended from people who have made a form to bond with a creature from the, from the realm of dreams called Quark.

[03:37:32] Um, they appear to have like psychic powers as a result and are sometimes, um, like uncannily like, or inhumanly or in, have some kind of alien aspect. Um, they're, they're common, um, they're, they're, they're uncommon, uh, around Quark air, but you know them more because like they pop up, uh, they're actually, they, they pop up very so often whenever a Sarlonan ship comes.

[03:38:01] A ship from Sarlona comes to dock, uh, in Quark air. Okay. Yeah. Hmm. Basically like being a trill. Yeah. It's like a, it's like a fantasy version of a trill. So what was the entity called? Uh, Quark. They called Quark. Yeah. Q-U-R-I. Did you know you have a Quark in your head?

[03:38:28] It, um, it, uh, at this point, the, uh, the Quark kind of, like, push, moves forward and like, kind of, like, it's upside down looking at you and you see this squid headed thing with five eyes. It's, one of the eyes is in like a gap in its head. Yeah! Suddenly! It passes right through it. Like, unaffected. And just kind of, and one of the mandibles is just like, like, does like a kind of a high sort of motion.

[03:39:00] As Fantan shakily waves back at it. Yeah. What is this thing? Well, it doesn't appear to be hostile. You, you don't know that you're a Kalishtar? Says, uh, you don't know you're a Kalishtar? I am a human boy! You're not anymore. No, you're, yes, but no. Um, you're a Kalishtar, which is usually a human that has been, your, your ancestor,

[03:39:30] one of your ancestors made a, made a bond with a creature of the dream, of the dreamlands. So, he was a warlock. Okay. No. What does this have to do with anything else? No. It's not, it's not an occupational thing, it's, or, it's a class thing. It's an occupational thing. It's sort of a trait inherent in your, you've inherited. It's racial. It's an ancestral. That's racist, man. It's an ancestral trait.

[03:40:01] Uh, have you never? Wait, you don't know that you're, how? You don't know that you've had, have you ever had strange dreams? Everybody has strange dreams. We live in a world with dragons. I don't dream. Everyone has dreams. Implies a person. I turn around and walk away.

[03:40:30] No, I was gonna say, everyone has dreams. As in like, aspirations. Yeah. I was gonna go that way, but then he was going that way, so I had to go another way. Of course, I understand. Do you climb the tracks dream of an electric sheet? Well, as that is happening, you guys hear off on the, like, off on the distant islands of this place. Uh, it's like, Halt! Who goes there?

[03:40:55] And it's this, like, 20-something looking tanned kid with, like, blonde hair and, like, shining copper armor. Nice. On one of the, uh, like, uh, and there's like a bunch of, like, uh, drow with their, their Zendrick butt boomerangs at the ready. Oh, more of them. And he's just like, his hands are on his hips. He's like, who goes there? You shall not... Darvan? It's like, hey. Hey.

[03:41:27] So, yeah. So, that, uh, yeah, that happens. Okay. Okay. Uh, well, first and foremost, um, can we, uh, reduce the hostile work environment? That depends. Are you... He's, like, calling from, like, a couple, like, a good 50, 60 feet away on one of the other islands.

[03:41:52] Um, and actually behind him, you can see this giant golden throne shaped like a scorpion. And this crazy, um, like, uh, this crazy large, um, uh, Sybaris crystal, uh, Sybaris shard. Like, this massive amber crystal with, like, runes, um, uh, on each facet of it. Um, behind them. Behind him. This, this, this copper clad fellow and the drow.

[03:42:20] Um, and yeah, he's just going on, it's like, it's like, we are sworn to protect the dragon shard from any intruders. Okay. Okay. Um, counterpoint. Uh, you could let us take it. My head's going to go down, I'm going to rub my temples a little bit. Uh, Darwin, like, looks to you, he's like, is that really his shtick?

[03:42:49] Is that really his, uh, his, his, is that really how he's going to negotiate? You'd be surprised how often it works. I'm taking cover behind the warforged. Not a game. We need to get you a tower shield. Yeah. Yeah. Here's my animated shield bonus action. Uh, as the, uh, like, so the, the drow all begin, like, readying their, the maras, uh, and Darwin's, hang on, Kershamu, they've come to bargain.

[03:43:20] Wow. Yeah, here, here. Thank you. I've been warming that one up. I, I knew there was a pun coming. As I hand a, a Peroni over Kersh. Um, I swear, like, hear them out first, and then I'll get out of your way. And he looks to you, he's like, maybe make it a little bit better than that. That's just the opening line. You gotta start somewhere. Start better. Start with a big ask. This is the end of the deal. Yep.

[03:43:50] This is the heart of the deal. Now we move from here. Yep. Hi. Ugh. Throw back my case. All of the drow. Ugh. Just like, I'm wrong. In stereo. They're from Zendrick. They don't even know what this religion is. Oh, they know. This is, hi. You recognize your conscience. I'm Fintan Polaris. Fist of the North Star. And these are my fellow Ashats.

[03:44:18] Um, the, the, uh, the thing above your head is waving. With his claws. Or with his mandible. Not that you really know. Yeah. You guys see it. Yeah. You guys see, uh... I don't know if I'm ever gonna get used to that. I hope I don't have to see that forever. I am still cowering from Uberhangs behind the Warforged. Hmm. Okay. I have a, I have a Cthulhu with... You have a Cthulio. Yeah. A little Cthulio sticking out of my head. Yeah. Right. Cause that is his name. Yeah. We named him Cthulio. Oh yeah, you did, didn't you?

[03:44:46] So yeah, um, they're just like old. Like it's like, so yeah. I, I, we can't let you do that. Can't is such an absolute. The, the, one of the drowspeys is like, this is hollow ground we have- I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to the copper one. I have a copper one with me too. Hey. My name's Copper Guys. Okay.

[03:45:15] He, he, uh, the, the, the, Kershamu. I don't know, hang on. Yeah, it's, it's, I can't believe it. Yeah, Kershamu, um, like pushes, like, hang on, hang on. It's like, there is a prophecy you see behind, uh, of this, of this dragon shard that it must stay here for the prophecies to come true. That is why I'm here to protect it. What, what's, can, can I ask what this prophecy is? Nay.

[03:45:43] It is enigmatic and mysterious and only the dragons must know, uh, must, must, must know of the prophecy. Ah, see, so all, uh, all of the dragons must know of this prophecy? It is only four dragons. Okay. Well, we, the adventurers of a shot, um, are the caretakers of a dragon. Cover up my head. Explain.

[03:46:15] Okay. We battled a great number of undead who were, I don't know if you would call it safeguarding. They hadn't noticed an egg in their midst. And we, we did our part and, uh, ensured that the, um, the undead was, did we ensure that the undead was vanquished? Whatever. Whatever. It was gone. It sounds good. Just tell them. That the undead was vanquished.

[03:46:42] And, uh, then we liberated said egg. And we were taking care of it and we were going to, uh, see about returning it to where it needed to go. And then it hatched for us. And we've been caretaking for it ever since. That is God's damn adorable. But, regardless. His name is Zanduncle and he is a bronze. Oh, I really like bronze. No.

[03:47:11] But, if this is something for dragons, then shouldn't our dragon also know? Is your dragon here? Not at this time. Ha! He's not large enough to teach him yet. We, we, we didn't want to risk his life. We had no idea you were going to be here. We knew darn well that these assholes would be here.

[03:47:37] And, based on the number of holes that this man had perforated in him yesterday, it was probably a good idea we didn't bring our baby dragon. I had a bad day. I'm tapping my shoulder. They were merely defending their sacred grads. You are intruders here. Are you not also? I am a guest. I do not wish to move the dragon shard. Well, I suppose that's fair.

[03:48:07] It is crucial for this dragon shard to remain for the prophecy to come to pass. However, I wouldn't call these, um, these drow who, um, appropriated their master's property the true owners of this dragon shard. At this point, like, they're getting ready to attack you. I don't care. I don't care. Because the only person that I'm trying to impress in this room... Yeah. ...is the dragon.

[03:48:37] I, I wouldn't say that property that they've appropriated is truly theirs. So I don't respect that claim to it as property. Roll, roll, roll persuasion. Hehehehehehe. Hehehehehehe. I wish I could give myself art and inspiration.

[03:49:07] Yeah, really. Uh, that's not bad. Uh, 14 and 11 is 25. He, he looks to the, the drow, and the drow is like, seriously? Like, he's like, no. I don't want to, um, at this point the drow like pipe up.

[03:49:34] It's like, so you would just let us, like, we, we are not owed this, these lands, this, these, uh, these dwellings, this sacred grounds that we have taken from our former masters. You would leave us like slaves once again? Slaves to whom? Slaves to you, perhaps? Or any of your peoples? What, you think I'm going to try to come live here?

[03:50:02] You've barged into our homes. You've destroyed, from the sounds of it, you've desecrated and destroyed our, the front of our, of our dwellings. You shot first. To, and this drow is like, to be fair, they did give you warning. And, I like to talk. I really like to talk. I've noticed that. And, you guys shot first. You filled my friend full of holes. He had it coming.

[03:50:32] Multiple times. I mean, you're not wrong. But not for this. He tried to talk first. I was cordial. The reason that the, the front of your temple was destroyed was because he was filled with holes. I got hit with a lot of movements. You guys, I'm really trying not to like, have this turn into a fucking brawl again. Yeah, I know.

[03:51:02] That's, okay. I just don't want the dragon to fight us. Okay. I, I am more than happy to put my boot to the head of every drow in this room. If it comes to that. The dozen drow that are here. It's just a drow. There's no boulette to occupy him. I'd like to point out, there is like, so there, um, let me give you guys a proper, like, so they're on an island away from where you guys are.

[03:51:33] They will be throwing, likely throwing more of their Zendrick boomerangs at you guys. What kind of range do they get with those boomerangs? It's pretty good. Okay. Is it more than 600? Cause remember, we all have guns. Yeah. The primitive nations are our guns. It's like, 60 feet max. Like, maybe, maybe 80 feet.

[03:52:03] From, from the islands, like, from the island where the scorpion, uh, the throne is to the... That's not that far. No. I mean, it's fine if there's no actual land in between there. Like, is that the idea? Like, what's in between the islands? There's these gaps of like, like, these like 10 foot gaps. Of like, just, uh, like 10 to 20 foot gaps of like, of like, just where like the rock has just been like, collapsed down and there's this strange swirling like rainbow mist. So how much range can I get maximum?

[03:52:33] From the max of you guys, I'd say the max is probably like 90 to 100 feet. In this, in this chamber. It's, it's definitely larger on the inside than a little bit, than, than, than you guys thought it might be. That's not fincaned. I will actually say, um, you, um, Fintan, uh, can roll me a, an arcana. Natural 20.

[03:53:00] Okay, you feel, there is a warm thrumming coming from the pocket or pouch where that ring is. The one with, the, the ring that you, you, you pocketed off of, uh, or you stole from Petonius' cart with the three dragon shard embedded in it and like the little, little sphere inside of it. Just a second, just a second guys, I'm getting a phone call. Reaching my pocket.

[03:53:26] At this point, um, you guys, uh, the other two of you see, um, his, um, Corey, like, like, like, he's trying to stop him, like, him but he's just passing through like a ghost. And it's like, no, and you're actually feeling, getting a headache, like, as he's like, as you're going for it, it's like, ah. Uh, Paul Reader. Okay. I was, um, I was trying to interrupt him. No, I know.

[03:53:49] Um, the, the, uh, the, the, uh, the dragon shard on the crystal, on the, on the scorpion crystal, uh, there's a blast of energy goes through Kershamu, who just like, ugh! I just like, as it, like a lightning, struck by lightning from behind and through him. And it goes straight to that ring. And you are lifted up into the air, holding that ring.

[03:54:11] And there is just a beam, like, all three of the, of the, of the dragon shards focus in on the, on the orb inside that ring. And just shoot up a streaming line into the sky. The sky above you guys, that purple alien sky, evaporates, revealing the actual sky above the jungle temple. And you see, um, it goes up into, into the sky beyond the farthest reaches you can see. Maybe even past, like, the stars themselves.

[03:54:41] And there is a distant, distant, like, you can barely, like, you just see, like, a, kind of a, a splash of light and color somewhere up in the sky. And then, just like that, the, the beam is, is gone. And, um, there's a flash of light and you get knocked back, like, ten feet. Okay. This all happened really quickly, so much that I, I couldn't have interrupted it, right? Yeah, he's like, you're watching me, struck my ankle! Like, that kind of, like, it, it was so fast.

[03:55:10] Like, as soon as he pulled it out, but, like, pulled it out of his, uh, pocket, um, there was a, there was a catalyst. Okay, because I was gonna try to, like, get it out of his hand after the fact. You can roll to try and catch him before he falls, because he's, he's falling, he's getting kicked back ten feet to the edge of one of the, uh, to the edge where those mists and stuff are. So if you'd like, you could, like, try and catch him before he falls off the cliff, off the island you're on. Can I cast Feather Fall on other people? Yes.

[03:55:40] Would that stop your horizontal movement? No, it just stops me from taking falling damage. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I think all I could do in this situation is potentially hit you with a thorn whip and just pull you towards me. Can I try and get a deck saved and just catch him? Yeah, you could also just do that. Yep. Gonna do it the mundane way, I guess.

[03:56:11] Eleven? Eleven? Yeah. Uh, you don't catch him. Don't catch him. He's sliding off the edge. Uh, you can, uh, you're starting to come to as you're, like, rolling off the edge. So I'll give you one, uh, a disadvantage to try and, like, roll a, uh, I guess it would be an acrobatics or a climb or... I'll take acrobatics. Yeah. I have experts. Can I attempt the thorn whip before he goes over the edge? Hang on. Okay.

[03:56:40] You can attempt the thorn whip. I believe that's a melee attack. It's like magic melee attacks. Do I just roll it like a normal melee attack? Yeah, but it's based off of your melee spell attack. Based off of your spell attack. I just do a spell attack bonus and that's it. It's the same thing as doing a ranged one. It's just whether it's ranged or... Yep. Yeah, okay. That one did not work. It did not. It did not. It's a rule.

[03:57:14] Well, I'm guessing I'm going to have taken the five, not the 19. So... Hold on. Hold on. You said it's an acrobatics. Yeah. So I have expertise in that. So that means that, uh, that's a 16. And that's when the Dracolidge showed up. What the fuck, Chris?

[03:57:43] Did you... What did you call it? 16. Oh, 16. To catch yourself? Yeah. Okay. Um, you do manage to catch yourself with your spell off, like, basically dangling off the ledge. Roll me a constitution save. Constitution or strength? It's a constitution save. It doesn't really matter. It's the same either way. No, it's not for grabbing. It's for, uh, something that's like you're... For inhaling something. Or potentially inhaling something.

[03:58:14] Uh, fuck yeah. 21. Okay. You manage to, like, get your... Keep your... You're, like, kind of partially dangling in the fog. Like that weird, like, swirling, whirling rainbow fog. And you manage to, like, stay above it. Like, first, keep your mouth above it and your nose above it. And so you manage to, like, kind of eventually get yourself up. Uh, as you and your... I assume your friends, like, rush to you to help you as well. No, I'll let him go for himself. Um, yeah. As you guys race to, like, get your friend...

[03:58:44] Like, like, like, rush to your friend from the edge there. Um, Darvan goes running. Um, he runs across... It almost looks like he's running across a tightrope between the, uh, the, the, the islands to reach his, his ward. The, uh, the Copper Dragon. Um, like, you, you see, uh, Copper, um, but there is a... There is some kind of invisible field. Like, like, invisible trail. Um, that connects the islands.

[03:59:13] Is he running on a straight line? Yeah. Okay. Basically, like, tight... Like, he's, like, he's, like, walking, like, running along a... Like, a two-by... Like, a two-inch plank. Yeah, okay. Um, and, uh, he gets to his, his ward and, like, starts, like, kind of, like... Maybe are you gonna help me up? Checking, make sure... Oh, I assume these guys are... Yes. Okay. I'm just, I'm just describing what's happening in the background. Okay. As soon as their hands are on me... Yeah. I'm going to teleport us over there. Okay. To the, to the scorpion statue or to the, the copper dragon?

[03:59:43] The copper dragon. Okay. Yeah, so you teleport over to the copper dragon. Um, his back is smoldering. Um, he didn't, it didn't... Where'd the ring go, by the way? Oh, uh, did you check your, your hand? Yes. You, you had it clanded the whole time. All three of the, of the dragon shards have shattered. Here we go. You