Actual Play - 13th Age 1st Ed - Little Orphan Elfie - Ep 1

[00:00:00] Hi, and welcome to One Less Die, and also welcome to The Roleplaying Exchange Podcast. I am often guest to both of these podcasts, David, and tonight I get to sit behind the screen for once. And we're going to be running 13th Age, and a lovely, lovely little scenario that I've put together called Little Orphan Elfie.

[00:00:27] With me tonight are some familiar voices for both of you. We're going to start with the player sitting to my right, who is... I assume that's me, at the top of the alphabet here. There we go. There we go. This is Adam, and I will be playing a Dark Elf Role by the name of Assy. Not Assy McGee, I just realized that happened there.

[00:00:54] You were definitely bullied as a child. Yeah. I definitely feel like you were all bullied as children, but we'll get to that in a minute. Yeah, that's fair. From this point on, I'm just going to refer to it as Assy, but Drow grew up in a nursing home by an orphanage. I forgot my previous day, but I'm sorry. And after the orphanage, I went out and lived a life of adventure.

[00:01:25] And they keep bringing me back. Oh man, if that wasn't like... That would be a hell of a one unique thing. It's like, you're a Benjamin Buttoned. Aging backwards. Sorry. All right. Are you done, Adam? I have finished. Okay. Well, I guess I'm next.

[00:01:53] Hi, I'm Chris or Crazon, review cultist, many names. I'm not usually a player. I'm usually the one on the other end of the GM screen, but okay. I'm playing Caroline Ensus, a wood elf ranger with a squirrel friend.

[00:02:16] And yeah, also come from the same orphanage or orphanarium that... What I thought was a nursing home. Yeah. Yeah. That's the character I came from. So... An orphanage slash nursing home. We take the very, very young and the very, very old. Nothing in between. Oh God. Their motto, give us your young, your old. That's about it. Once you hit a certain age, you're booted out.

[00:02:45] And then once you hit a certain age, they get dragged... They drag you back in. You're either grown enough to be dated by DiCaprio or DiCaprio himself. Oh, come on. Oh my God. Unfortunately, that is... DiCaprio is the name of the head messer. No, they aren't. No, God. Well, they fucking are now. No. But yeah, I don't think there's... I don't know if there's anything else you want me to say about my character. Well, we'll get to it.

[00:03:14] And lastly, we have... Hi, I'm Josh and it's really weird to be here. And I'm playing a half elf. Or... Half human. Whichever one. Not wrong. Half empty or half full? Works. Both at once. I am Schrodinger's elf. And what is your elf's name? Kate Eswas. Yeah, sorry. There we go. Because that's the name to say backwards.

[00:03:44] It sure is. So, we're just going to start in media res. Yes. You have all been out of the orphanage for a while. To be fair, you hit a certain age and you graduated from the program. None of you had happy adoptions. But you learned a few things and picked up a trick or two along the road. And you've gone out to live fairly productive lives.

[00:04:12] Now, the issue is that this particular orphanage, or the orphan wing of the orphan slash old folks home, is sponsored by the Elf Queen. And thus, you are all elves in some way. So, all of the orphans in this orphanarium are elves. Or at least, elven descent.

[00:04:39] And you consider all of the other orphans to be brothers and sisters. And you all remember one of your younger sisters finally managed to achieve the dream. She was adopted. And she was one of the favorites of the orphanage because she brought a smile to everybody's face. She always found a reason to find the silver lining.

[00:05:09] And that was Polly Anna. Aww. Everybody knows her as Anna or Annie. And when she was adopted by this particular paladin, a man by the name of Father Peace Coin. I was wondering how that was going to play. I'm not disappointed.

[00:05:34] Father Peace Coin did agree to let her write a letter once a week to the other orphans. And so she's been writing a letter for the past year, every single week without fail, talking about the good life and all of the wonderful things that the Peace Coin ministries have brought her. Until a month ago. And you all are just hearing about this because you got a letter and you got a letter and you also got a letter.

[00:06:04] I did. Yay. To be fair, the letter that was sent to Assy was very long, very verbose. It was written in fine calligraphy from Sister Asta. She's studying magic. She's going to be a wizardess one day, you're pretty sure. And your letter says,

[00:06:35] There's a scent of perfume on it. We have missed you ever so much. And we do appreciate the donations that you have continually sent back. We also would like to ask that you please wipe the blood off the coins before you send them through the mail, because the Falcons have been trying to chew through the sacks and some of the coins don't always make it. But we digress. We do appreciate that you have been trying to help us out. By the way, Annie has not written a letter in a while.

[00:07:02] Meanwhile, Tate's letter is just crayon. It's addressed to Tate with a backwards A. It says, We worry about Annie. Can you calm home? And it's spelled K-O-M-M-E. Home is H-U-M-E. Please. P-L-Z-E-A.

[00:07:32] And Caroline, your letter is almost illegible. It's delivered by a crow. As expected. It's been somewhat chewed on. My squirrel had to fight off the crow to salvage it. To salvage the letter. To be fair, the crow is not relinquishing the letter until you give the crow something shiny in return.

[00:07:59] So you have to give the crow, like, it's like, will you, will you give it to me for this egg? This slightly rotten off egg. Yeah. Here's this duck egg. Acceptable trade. You get the letter for the egg. And you can't really see much other there, in there other than, Annie. Okay. Annie. Okay. Okay, Annie. Question mark. Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? I...

[00:08:30] You're making it sound like Annie Oakley. Yeah, that too. Well played, sir. So... So I am assuming that you are all going back to the orphanage. Just for the full circle. Like, as I'm reading, it's like, I... My character murmurs under her breath. It's like, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? No! She may be struck by a smooth criminal.

[00:09:00] Yeah. So we'll draw the red lines across the map, play the da-da-da-da, and then you're home. I get lost a few times. Yeah, there's like, definitely some swirling. But yeah, we eventually all make sure. Just from Tate, everyone else is fine. Yeah. To be fair, you all get there at narratively the same time, despite the fact that Tate is one town away. Whereas... I'm right there. It's like down the street, and I'm just circling the entire town.

[00:09:31] You got distracted by... Well, let's be fair. Because of your himbo background, I'm pretty sure you got distracted by a cat being caught in a tree and having to climb up and get the cat down. And by the time that you get that cat down, another old lady has thrown her cat into a tree. Well, I just imagine I bring the cat down. I put it down on the ground, turn around, look back, the cat is climbed back up. Oh no, it's different cats. Different old ladies.

[00:10:00] The last one, it wasn't even a cat, it was actually the old lady. Sitting in the tree with a couple of... with a cat ears and just going, meow! Yeah. Yoo-hoo! I mean, meow! You look weird, kitty. God, I'm playing a stupid character. It's gonna be fun. It just kind of hurts. It'll be fun. On the one hand, I thought this was gonna be serious, but then the very second we started playing, I'm like, nope!

[00:10:30] I know what my players are all about. This is gonna be fun. So, you make it to the orphanage. And this is the point where you get to find out a little bit. There's all of Annie's old letters. They've been somewhat preserved. Most of the orphans are taking great care of Annie's letters. She's still made. It has been put together,

[00:10:57] more or less the way that it was before she left. And you see some new orphan faces. You see some new kids that weren't here the first time you were there. But at the same time, Annie's bed is still left empty. Mostly because one of the newer kids, as you approach, just kind of goes, that's Annie's bed. We don't sleep in Annie's bed. It is legend. And you see as

[00:11:28] well, you hear the bell being rung for lunch. And Mr. Harrigan is at the other end of the room, just kind of going, it's time to feed the kitties! And everybody just comes heading towards the table. And you notice that as they pass her bed, they all give a slight bow or a slight nod of respect. And then they just walk on towards the assembly room. And he looks and he goes, Oh, the three of you, you've come back. Yes.

[00:11:58] That's, that's what the letter said. Or what, what letters? Looks to the others. This one. We all hand, unless Adam has a different thing. It's like, we all hand letters in various degrees of like legibility. Well, as they're holding them out, like, Assy just step right up in front of them and kind of block them off. Like, where's Annie at? I've been, I've been reminiscing and she was always a great influence upon me. So, I,

[00:12:26] I noticed her bed, it's empty and. Oh yeah. She, she got adopted. Almost a year ago. You know, sweet little girl like that. Of course she's going to get adopted. She actually did all of the things, right. She, she, she did all of the things, right. Assie. Oh, she, she was a very well behaved child.

[00:12:55] Looks pointedly at you. Did not get involved in petty larceny. Assie. Didn't go. Didn't go. Didn't go. Didn't go. Didn't go. Hailed. Tate. That's awesome. Michael. Whereabouts did she go? That's,

[00:13:24] that's like, it'd be good. Like, you know, you're asking a lot of questions. Also, what letters? This one. Um, I will allow anybody to make a wisdom role. Probably shouldn't be me. Uh, like anybody, like I was in like any, like any of us could roll one. Well, yeah. You can make a wisdom. And if you have a background that seems to fit. Um, what would give you some insight into orphan life?

[00:13:54] Hard knock life. Why? Yes, that would be a good one. As a, as a, as a former resident of this orphan area and living on the streets and then like living in the wood, like living on the woods and the streets. Yeah. Honestly, I'm just waiting to age back up to get back in here. Really? Oh, I'm sorry. Now that needs to be added to your, like something. So like that we need a character like that. I'm sorry.

[00:14:24] We definitely do. We definitely do. There's, Oh my God. I can see a half off outside just trying to dress up old enough. Can I please be? You're 23 years old, Jerry. Dog years. I'm 72. Okay. So I, the Walker's not fooling anyone, Jerry. So, yeah, give me a role on hard knock life. So D 20 plus the wisdom modifier, plus the hard knock life modifier. Correct.

[00:14:54] Okay. Oh Christ. Oh, that's a great one. So that's going to be. Um, so is it modifier plus level or just the modifier? A modifier plus level. Okay. And since you were all level three, that is going to be 11. All right. So the difficulty for this role was a 10. You made it. Um, so here's the thing, you know, that Mr. Harrigan, um,

[00:15:24] doesn't seem to know about the letters. And if he gets a hold of one of those letters, whoever it was who wrote it is probably going to be on dish duty because he does not seem to care very much for who wrote the letter. Uh,

[00:15:42] if there is something going on with this orphanage and he brings or attention is brought from any outsider, which technically that's all y'all now, uh, it could be bad for the orphans. So when he says, what letter are you going to give him the letter? So, so yes, because I'm dumb as he's trying to, could I perhaps use, um, stealthy,

[00:16:11] stealthy incendiary, uh, pinstrike to, uh, fire my hands to set it on flat, like to flash it on fire. Like just so it like it completely like, it burns up. This letter. Yeah. Oh my God. The letter is spontaneously combusted as letters are known to do. As I, as I crumple up my own and hand it to my squirrel to like, all right. Let's see. Is that what I can do or is that,

[00:16:42] I'm going to let you, uh, make, make your attack roll with it. Um, so, so let's talk about spell casting, by the way, um, the squirrel understands the assignment. And so when you surreptitiously slide it to the squirrel, it takes the balled up letter and shoves it into its cheek like a damn chick monk. Okay. So attack is for the spell. It seems like it's charisma plus level versus a PD or physical defense. Correct. Uh,

[00:17:12] it's opposed by PD or a letter. Yeah. Oh, it's, oh, it's, um, by my PD or no, it's opposed by the letters. Okay. Yeah. So it's opposed by the letters, physical defense, which is not going to be very high because it's a letter. Yes. Okay. So, uh, this is gonna be great. Cause, um, charisma was, is not a great stat for me, but I'm going to do it anyway. Uh, God. Okay. Um, wow. Uh,

[00:17:41] so that is going to be, uh, that's going to be 15. Excellent. So good news and better news. We're going to start with the good news. The good news is you incinerate the letter in Tate's hands. The better news is that you do not incinerate Tate's hands. Excellent. Oh, I'm a wizard. Yes. You are quite the magician. He clearly, this is a,

[00:18:11] one of his tricks. He's been learning Tate, the tremendous. Yep. That's me. Tate. Tate. Yep. Yeah. He gives you that look, you know, the, uh, the, he is very suspicious look, but he can't prove a thing. Yeah. Cause he didn't see the origin of the fire. Cause he was looking at the letter itself. And then it suddenly spontaneously combusted weird.

[00:18:38] He actually looks directly at assy for a moment and says, all right, well, if, um, if you're not going to tell me why you're here, I can't really throw you out right now, but I will tell you that when it comes time for evening call, you get to leave. You can visit with the other orphans as soon as they're done eating. And he just kind of looks at all three of you and he goes, I got my eye on you.

[00:19:08] Glad to feel that was, then he walks out of the room. Okay. As he's walking away, he's like, glad to see we're always welcome here. Well, I think it, I think it went real well. So guys, I found out a magic. Yes. It's Tate. It's very splendorous. All right. So apparently he doesn't know. So do they have any, we were never adopted as was so, well, you know, patiently pointed out to us.

[00:19:38] Do we know if they actually keep records of, uh, where people go? So we could possibly see, uh, maybe break into his office. Maybe there's, uh, some documentation there. We could check with the kids, see if they know as soon as they finish eating. Uh, well, any other suggestions? So to be fair, uh, some of the things that you know for free, because you did literally grow up in this orphanage. Um,

[00:20:06] he is a high elf and he is extremely opinionated. Um, couple of things. First off, uh, he always expects the worst out of his kids because to be fair, he has been proven right far too many times. Uh, but the other thing is that, you know, that despite the fact that he is the harshest critic over his kids, he is also one of their staunchest defenders.

[00:20:36] He doesn't let the kids go to a bad home. So if, um, he would rather turn you out on your own when you are of age with a small stipend and the skills that you learned at the orphanage, then to send you to a workhouse or, um, when, um, when the mining guild drops by and says, Hey, we could use a bunch of small hands to help us, uh, pick the tiny gems out of these really, really horrible coal mines.

[00:21:07] He doesn't send the kids to the coal mines. So there is that. Um, he tries to make sure that the orphans go to good homes as opposed to, Hey, you want some free child labor? You can have it. The weaver's guild is looking for kids to sell a bunch of boots. Yeah. No, you cannot go to the Reiki sweatshop. Like he, he protects the kids to that extent. Um,

[00:21:34] but you do know that he also does not trust the kids as much as he should because, well, prejudices, lots of prejudices. So, you know that he is going to be watching over the kids, making sure that they eat all of the food that they are given and not a single morsel more, not a single morsel less. You know that he is going to be in the dining hall for the rest of the meal. Um,

[00:22:00] so you know that you can one searches office if you can get in there stealthily. And he does keep records of which kids go where. Um, you also know that you could probably reach out to the kids because three of them did right to you. And if you would like further insight, you can roll for it. I think I'm good with the breaking in part. Yeah, I was, I think brother, I think you, your, your skills may prove, uh, immediately useful right now. Uh,

[00:22:30] as our dear, um, headmaster or our dear former, uh, caretaker is going to be occupied for a little. With, pleasure. Uh, what, what do you want us to do? Uh, looks to kind of just like looks over to, um, uh, Tate. Should we like be like a lookout or? I think, well, I think, yeah, I need one to be able to look out and I need one to Tate. Uh, one to Tate.

[00:23:01] Tate, you just Tate over there. Okay. You just Tate all over that wall. Uh, though, um, honestly, I think that the best move would be to, uh, at least stand here and appear eager to like, just wait, like you're, you can't wait till they finish eating. So you could run in there and talk, be something that he looks at. And it's not in a hurry to dismiss him from the cafeteria. So like, like mechanically, a,

[00:23:30] like some kind of role to thoroughly or the headmaster preoccupy the headmaster further. Yeah. You're going to be the distraction going. I'm not touching you. Not touching you. Yeah, I got that. And then I guess I'll just, uh, I'll be the lookout for in case anything, uh, is suspicious. Well, um, what's your character's name again, Adam? Sorry. Assy. Assy. Yeah. Well, Assy, um,

[00:23:59] for the record, it's spelled a S S C E. So, okay. I'm going to actually, can we put those in the chat just so I have them? That would be a good idea. Um, I mean, mine's pretty simple. It's, it's Caroline, but, um, and Tate. Yeah. There's also Tate. Yeah. It would be nice for me to have it. And it's A S I S C E. Yeah.

[00:24:29] But I do love that. It's just, it's. Oh, wait, what's your name? Assy. Are you a donkey? Assy? Like, yeah, there is a reason why you grew up to become a rogue and just learn how to stab people from behind. Yep. It's like a boy named Sue kind of thing, you know? So God, everybody calls you assy and gotta live. And the next thing you do, you just turn, you learn how to get really, really good at the stabbing. Yep.

[00:24:57] So I am going to try to stealthily like blend into the background, disappear. I remember where the headmaster's room is. Oh yeah. So let's see. Like, I know it's upstairs kind of overlooking the entrance to the orphanarium. Yep. So daytime. So I can't go through a window. So I'm gonna try to pick the lock. Okay. So I guess, would that just be a dex check?

[00:25:28] Um, so that is going to be dexterity. Plus, do you have an applicable background? Uh, I put, I was kind of liberal with my hard knock life. My hard, not my hard luck knife. Okay. Speak fuck. My hard, hard knock. Yeah. Hard knock life did not extend merely. It wasn't merely at the orphanage. I was out on the streets and, uh, you know, theft, uh, pickpocketing stuff like that.

[00:25:58] Okay. Uh, let me take a look. What other, um, backgrounds do you have? You've got caught artists and handsome devil. You know what? I will allow hard knock life because this is not the first time that you have picked this lock. Let's be fair. Very true. Yeah. Still the same walk. Oh my God. Well, thank God I have a plus seven on dex. So I wrote a 13. We have a dice roller. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:26:28] Shit. Sorry. My bad. That's awesome. So, um, probably not good. So to be fair, uh, you rolled a six, uh, you have a dex modifier of seven, which would take it up to a 13. Yeah. Unfortunately, the difficulty was a 15, but fortunately you've got a hard knock life of four, which takes it from a 13 to a 17.

[00:26:56] So you are able to make it through that lock. In fact, it's probably easier for me to make it through it because I have picked it so many times that I've actually wore the tumblers now. It's like you've picked it so many. Yeah. You've picked it so many times, you know, all right. One, two, three, that one goes down. And then we're going to back it up. That one goes down. And then we're going to back it. That one goes up. There we go. Like you have gone through this lock so many times.

[00:27:26] And to be fair, Harrigan's office is exactly the way that it was the last time that you snuck in. You see that same old worn out desk. Uh, he's got the ear tube that leads down to the orphan's room. So he can hear when people get, he can hear when the orphans get up to things. He's got the window that's overlooking the dining hall.

[00:27:53] So he can glance down and see if the kids are out of bed and moving about when they're not supposed to be like, this is the office as you remember it. But to be fair, this is the first time that you've been in it as an adult. so he's got bigger back then. Didn't it? It really did. It was way more imposing. Uh, he still got the bottle of heavy spirits in his bottom desk drawer.

[00:28:22] It sloshes when you bump into the desk a little bit. So, you know, that it's, it's a full bottle right now. It's still water. Someone drained it years ago. Oh no. Uh, that is a fresh bottle every month. He's, he's got a bit of a drinking problem. Before I do anything, I want to kind of pad myself for in case we can get more information elsewhere. So looking around for a loose sheet of paper, parchment or whatever, I'm going to put a,

[00:28:51] rip it out. No ink. I mean, nothing would be missed. In my mouth. And then go to the little tube that he listens into the rooms and take an arrow and just poke it down further to where, if he was listening to one of my cohorts, talk to one of the kids, he wouldn't be able to hear it because it's plugged. Okay. Well, you can't plug it completely, but you can definitely muffle it. Okay. Yeah. Muffling. Good. Uh, and I guess, uh, yeah,

[00:29:21] I'm going to look for the keys or the file. Excuse me. Okay. Okay. Well, um, give me a roll. Um, is that ant? Uh, this one is going to be perception. So this is going to be a wisdom based. Okay. Or I will also allow int because that would be the case of, um, can you remember where he put the things? Can you think your way through it? Or wisdom is, can you spot the things?

[00:29:51] Or with those both the same stats. So, uh, number. So yeah, I'm going to go ahead and, uh, I know where he has done this because to be honest with you, I'm a dark elf. They get kind of a bad rap. And sometimes as almost like self-flagellation, I would sneak in there and start looking at what got people adopted. So I have some scars there.

[00:30:17] So I have rolled a 19 plus three, so that's 22. Okay. Those scars are hitting hard. And do you have a background that would apply to this? Uh, only con artists. No, well, con artists is more negotiating, I think. So that would be, I don't think I do. I think I've just got the real base. So with that, um, a 19 plus three is going to be a 22.

[00:30:44] Um, you know where the files are kept and you can easily peruse the cabinet and you can see files on most of the adoptions. Uh, any of the adoptions that have taken place and he's got notes on the adoptees and notes on, uh, the adopters. And there's quite a bit of them.

[00:31:10] Um, he's got files on all of the kids, um, going all the way back to, uh, looks like the start of the orphanarium really. Um, at least since he took over, uh, we're talking files that go all the way back to Assy, age five, bedwetter. Hmm. I swear it a lot. I swear.

[00:31:36] Um, Carolyn, uh, age seven, uh, night terrors. Damn that high druid. Uh, Tate, age five, uh, fell on head. No lasting damage, question mark. Like everybody. Yeah. There are files.

[00:32:00] There are files for every orphan that has ever been in this orphanage that you can see. And you do find Annie's file. And you also find, um, Father Peace Coins file. Oh, name. Well, I mean, the gig is, I've already tampered with the other elements of it.

[00:32:23] I think I should probably get the papers, uh, remove them and, uh, make my way out to review them later. Fair enough. Uh, from here, you can see that the meal is about halfway over. There's a couple of the kids who are starting to sing the song of, uh, now we wash our plates and cups. And Harrigan is just giving that death glare.

[00:32:51] He does not care for music for some reason, but it's the same song that the kids have sung since the beginning. Since time immemorial. Yeah. Love you, Mr. Harrigan. Go ahead. They, they do make many hands, make many light work, but the kids who are done eating first do start scrubbing plates, scrubbing bowls.

[00:33:17] And you know, he is going to wait until all, everything has been cleaned to his satisfaction. Everything in this orphanarium, orphanage has been worn smooth with time, but it is clean. And he doesn't ask a whole lot of the orphans other than we're going to clean up our mess. You know that after, after the meal is done, he is going to turn the kids loose to their own devices for the next couple of hours.

[00:33:44] Uh, some of the kids are going to be reading the old worn books in the library. Some are going to be going outside. Some are going to be, uh, playing with the broken sporting equipment, like the field hockey sticks that are only halfway broken and somewhat mended. Uh, some of them are going to be kicking around the slightly deflated pig's bladder. Hmm. Hmm.

[00:34:11] And some of them are going to be using the wooden swords and bashing at each other. I think I'll, I'll yield to seeing, though. Seeing that and kind of, despite being a little miffed at how it was treated when I showed up there, stepping back up to the room real quick, taking out several coins as a tip and leaving them where the file should have been. Um, so as a, I'm sorry, but not sorry kind of thing. You know what I mean? So, you know, absolutely.

[00:34:42] And then, you know, click it's out and, uh, catch the attention of just basically, I'm just going to step outside to read them or get away from site and all that. But that's just, I'll, I'll make sure that, uh, Caroline, like knows it. I just, knowing not, and I just step outside. Okay.

[00:35:03] Meanwhile, uh, while Assy is doing some lovely larceny, uh, Caroline, what are you doing other than just sitting outside the door and waiting? Uh, yeah, I'm basically just kind of standing there nonchalantly.

[00:35:21] Um, I think maybe perhaps I've sent, um, my, my squirrel companion who I have named Sigisman, uh, down like the hall just to like, for like some reconnaissance, just to, just to keep an eye out to let me know if anything's like, if anybody's like, like anybody else is coming down this way and such. Or to also keep tabs on where Tate is. Also give me an odd or even, or tell me odd or even. Uh, let's go on. Ooh, okay.

[00:35:51] So you send the squirrel down, you send the squirrel down the hallway and almost immediately the squirrel comes running back. Oh shoot. Okay. Um. And that's when you discover. Yep. Uh, that's when you discover Jericho. Uh, the orphanage cat that is notorious for chasing down vermin is waddling after your squirrel with as much speed as his old arthritic knees can manage. All right.

[00:36:20] Another incendiary. No, no. I go to, I think about it for a second. It's like, no, he's just a predator. It's what they do. Um, I, I, once my, my squirrel returns like to safety, like up on my shoulder, probably or somewhere.

[00:36:40] Um, uh, I actually do, um, try to placate the cat, uh, the old mouser, um, with, uh, some, uh, a bit of, um, uh, a bit of vole jerky that I've, I've, I've accumulated from the, from the, the forests and the hills. All right. Give me a roll for that. Let's see how, let's see how suspicious Jericho is right now.

[00:37:06] To set the scene for you, I want you to picture a bow-legged old cat. Yeah. It's missing an eye, half of an ear. It's dragon from Secret of Nim. Yeah. Except more orangey. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. Um, yeah. So I like, yeah, I bend down and like bring out some, uh, some of this, uh, this vole jerky. Uh, and, uh, could, with the, with that kind of description, could I use tree dweller?

[00:37:36] You know what? I will allow it. I'm going to give you a plus two bonus for the, uh, for the vole jerky. Um, what would this, what, what, uh, attribute am I using for this? Would that be charisma? I guess. That would indeed be charisma. Man. I love how I'm using like one of my dumb steps, uh, quite often today. Um, ooh. Uh, okay. So that was a two.

[00:38:06] Um, but with, uh, I have a plus two because the modifier plus level, um, and then plus two because of tree dweller, tree dweller. So that's going to be a total of six. Yes. It is not enough. So you're going to hear. No, no. Shh. Shh. Uh, what was the cat's name again? Sorry. It was a Jericho. No. Jericho. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.

[00:38:37] Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Uh, looks, I look, I looked at my squirrel, the squirrel looks to me and I'm just like, um, uh, maneuver 16, which is essentially, um, uh, uh, try basically, uh, get it to give chase to, to get away, to go away.

[00:39:06] Like, so, um, if that is something I could do. Holy shit. Okay. So the squirrel definitely understands the assignment. Just looks, locks eyes with you, nods once, jumps off of your shoulder, punches the cat in the face. Comes at it in full force. And runs the other direction. Oh my God. And just jumps out the window with cat in tow, just.

[00:39:35] Single tear. I've never been prouder. Sigisman, you better come back instead of a bitch. Wasn't expecting that to turn into a full on fucking encounter, but here we go. Oh no. Uh. I'm going to roll off screen to figure out just what exactly happens. But in the meantime. Yep. I'm just like. Hi. Oh no. Uh, Chris, what were you saying there? Oh, I was just going to say it's like, yeah, as, as that they vanish off scene,

[00:40:03] I just like kind of just stand back and like fold my arms, like whistling nonchalantly or just like casually. Like. Yeah. Then it cuts away from that. So yeah. Tate, what you doing? God, I'm probably waiting in front of the, uh, um, lunchroom there. And just as they're coming out, who are you? Who are you? Who are you? To all the new kids. And just like, who got adopted? Who got adopted? A million questions to every single kid that's just passing.

[00:40:33] You know what? I like it. Um, so, uh, I would like for you to give me a, so a charisma based role. Cause you're basically being Mr. Charisma. Um, would somebody care to, uh, send me Tate's sheet, please? I like to have all the sheets in front of me so I can actually help out a bit. I'm also probably going to send you an updated version just cause I added Sigisman as, uh, like under my squirrel. Uh, my, my ranger's pet thing. So I love it.

[00:41:03] Also looking at, uh, two of my stats are 16. The other are just all tens. Didn't we? Wasn't that supposed to be different? I don't remember. So your stats should actually be a grand total of, uh, let's see, because you are a half elf, um, you got to add a plus two to either con or dang it. And then I know that for strength, it was either, or for fighter, it's either strength or con.

[00:41:31] And for half elf, derp, hold on. I'm reading it. Uh, for half elf, you got to add two to either your, come on, load book, uh, constitution or charisma. So, um, so our array to start was 16, 16, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10. So it should be an 18 in either your con or your strength. And then you can put two to your con or charisma.

[00:41:59] So I think that we were going to do 18 and 18, unless you would like to have a slightly more versatile and throw points in charisma. No. All right. So 18 and 18 it is. Let's just fix that. Team glass cannon. Yeah. Well, to be fair, he's not a glass cannon. He is actually a tank. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. But my hit points changed, weirdly enough. All right. Yeah. It's, it's strange.

[00:42:26] Almost as if adding up, almost as if adding to your con increased your modifier by one, which gives you bonus hit points. You're going to be rolling your charisma. Plus you're going to be rolling. Do you have a background that matches? For charisma? No. So for what you're doing. Well, actually. Yeah. I could use roadhouse. To intimidate.

[00:42:53] Are you trying to scare the kids or are you trying to charm the kids? One, I don't think these are kids. I don't think I could charm them with my glorified bouncer. Josh, with himbo, you could, you could negotiate with them on their level. That is true, actually. Yeah. I was about to say, I'm pretty sure you've got himbo in there, don't you? Yeah. Josh, the key to, the, the, the, the key to backgrounds is you can bullshit away. Yeah. Yes.

[00:43:21] It's, it's all in how can you spin it? Yes. There's no advantage using one or the other because they're all two. Yeah. So roadhouse or himbo, it comes down to what is funnier. Yeah. It comes down to like, like the narrative. Like, how do you want this to play out? Well, I went roadhouse because it's like this fucking bouncer, just like, just intimidating kids without meaning. Yeah. Yeah. You just like get down on a head and knees. Oh, just right in their face. Oh, fuck.

[00:43:51] So to be fair, uh, I'm going to be honest with you. The kids that grew up with Tate are just going to go, oh, that's Tate putting on the big show for us again. The new kids are going to be fucking terrified and the terrified ones are going to run away and aren't going to talk to you. So the, who are you? Go on. Go on. That's fine. Eek. That's fine. Still going to roll a charisma. Holy shit.

[00:44:19] I rolled a 19 if I'm, you know, fucking roadhouse and it's plus my level two, isn't it? Yes. So that's add five. So that's a 24. Yeah. Fucking damn. So to be fair, even the ones that you scare away a little bit, uh, just basically give you their names and then they run. Fair enough. But the ones where you're like flashbacks to bully like, give me your lunch. Who are you?

[00:44:49] Oh, Clarissa. I need an adult. I'm an adult. I need an adult here, adult. Smart choice. But meanwhile, uh, you are going to get, um, you are going to get some basic information. Uh, specifically you find out that there are like five or six kids who have been adopted who have, uh, you know that there are some kids that got aged out.

[00:45:14] And you know that, um, for a lot of the kids that got aged out, they sent, um, they basically tried to send letters out to everybody that they could. Um, you find out who it was who scrawled in crayon. Um, that's a little rough and tumble boy who's missing three of his teeth. Cause he's at the age where the baby teeth are falling out and the adult teeth are growing in. I was about to ask a baby or adult teeth. Yeah.

[00:45:43] Baby. But he sees you and he demands uppies. Like he's just putting his hands up. Sure. And you've got a couple of other kids that remember you that are just kind of trying to climb. And it's like, put your arm out so that we could. Yeah. You're, you are the jungle gym. Yep. I'm now just going to drink shadow of the Colossus. Don't worry. I'll think like a dog afterwards. Yeah. Kids flying everywhere.

[00:46:12] Or it's like, yeah, it's like kittens who like. Start climbing up on the person after like one of them gets picked up. Yeah. And, um, there's a couple of the kids that just tell you the old tree. And then, you know, just catch the arm and just kind of spring themselves off. And they, they're jumping around there. They are using you as the playground equipment, but there, there's a couple of them that tell you the old tree. What tree? There's no tree in here. That's about all you get.

[00:46:41] And they just kind of look towards Mr. Harrigan. And then they just keep, you know, using you as playground equipment for a minute until he heads that way. And he goes, that's enough of that children. Sorry, Mr. Harrigan. And then they just scatter and they go back to cleaning up. So, you know, a couple of things. Uh, are y'all reconvening? Uh, yeah. Sounds like a good one. Yeah.

[00:47:09] Do I, do I learn the fate of the, of, of Sigismund or? Nope. Gone forever. Damn it. After a while, you, after a while, Sigismund does catch up with you. He's got a bit of orange fur hanging out of his mouth. And missing half his tail. He's got a section of tail that is out. Yeah. There's a, there's a chunk of fur that's gone from his tail, but he's got a mouthful of orange. So it looks like he gave as well as he got. Yeah.

[00:47:39] I just like, look at him. It's like, should I have seen the other guy? He looks at you for a moment, takes the fur out of his mouth and spits out a wad of paper. I take the paper or is that the paper from before? That's the paper from before. Okay. He's had the letter in his mouth this whole time. I just, I just kind of just, um, put it in a pocket. Uh, well, we, I think we're all here now. Oh, it looks up. Make sure Tate's with us.

[00:48:09] Has Tate convened with us? I would hope so. Uh, sticks head in an orphanage, whistles loudly, jerks head towards. Dear boy. God damn. Yeah. So yeah, I, I guess we all convene. Okay. Well, folks, I have these documents here and what have I learned from them? Oh, gee. What happened?

[00:48:33] Well, um, from, uh, the document on, uh, Polly or, you know, Anna, you've figured out a couple of things. One, she has absolutely no black marks on her record. Jeez. Uh, she never misbehaved. There is nothing negative that has ever been written about her. Um, she doesn't have any of the childhood accidents.

[00:49:01] She's had a clean bill of health every time that the clerics have come around and looked after the children. Uh, suspiciously cleaned. Um, I'm, I'm, I'm curious. What, what kind of elf is she? Or is she a half elf or is she, uh. Uh, she is a high elf. Okay. But what's strange. Yeah.

[00:49:24] But what's, uh, strange about it is that despite the fact that she is a high elf, um, she does not have the hot cure that you have seen with some of the other high elves that have come to the orphanarium. Um, almost all kids have a certain level of arrogance about their type. You know, I'm a wood elf, so therefore I should be outdoors. I'm a high elf. Therefore, I'm better than you. I'm a silver elf.

[00:49:53] Don't you dare call me a dark elf. I'm a silver elf, damn it. Um. It comes with the elven territory. Yeah. You know that there's normally a bit of squabbling. But what's weird about Anna is that she came in and she didn't say, I'm a high elf. Therefore, I'm better than you. She came in and she said, we're all elves. Uh, she's one of those.

[00:50:20] It's like, it's like the ones that are, that are, that are like, they're, they're despicable, but you can't despise them because. Uh. I'm going to go around. The unification. That actually scared me. Yeah. The unification of the elves is a dream that many, many elves have had. But almost everybody within the elven community hits a point where they just kind of go, yeah, unification. That's, that's going to happen. Yeah.

[00:50:48] But, you know, everybody pays, um, a level of respect to the elf queen. Um, the fact that she has always, always paid respect to the elf queen, but she has also always respected her fellow orphans.

[00:51:05] Um, the incident reports that they have, or that Harrigan has in the file on her, basically have moments of, you know, uh, month number eight. Day 18. Um, Bors fell out of tree. Anna went to Bors and bandaged his knee and, uh, soothed his tears. Uh, month 14.

[00:51:33] Um, or actually month four, uh, day 14. Uh, Anna was working in kitchen. Uh, when other child cut finger with knife, Anna was first to bandage. Uh, she is, or basically everything that she has, every incident in the file is where some other child had a problem and she immediately took care of other child.

[00:51:58] Uh, she is a picture perfect example of putting other people first and has been that way since day one. Uh, she got along with everybody and everybody got along with her, which is weird. Uh, because normally these kids are scraping for extra food when somebody was malnourished and didn't have enough food because they missed out on a meal here or there.

[00:52:24] Um, she was the one who would like the worst thing that she did was one night she snuck into the kitchen and got half a loaf of bread that was about to go bad. To make sure that one of the orphans who was caught outside, uh, during lunch, uh, got to go to sleep and not be hungry. So she's like too pure for this world sort of, uh, yeah, basically. Yeah.

[00:52:53] Um, and, and this, and like, we, we grew up with her, right? Like in the, or in the orphanage or is she like one of the more, the, the younger or the newer generation? She's about 10 years younger than you. So you guys saw a bit of it before you aged out. Yeah. And, and, and like we've, we, so like through our like past, like we knew like, like this is, this is genuine. Like there's no like conspiracy of like.

[00:53:21] Just for clarification, aged out is just 18. Correct. Um, depends on the elf type. Um, it is 18 for you because you're a half elf and you mature quicker. It was, uh, 30 for the other two. So you are younger than they are because yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your candle burns a little bit faster. Just like real life. But hold on quicker. Fuck you. But to be fair, um,

[00:53:51] I'll be the last one standing motherfucker. Yeah. As you're reading the file, you do catch some notes of Harrigan or some of Harrigan's notes that in there. He is suspicious because nobody is this fucking good. Like even Harrigan, who is the same type of elf as she is, thinks that there is something up because what the hell? Wow. Even Harrigan thought this was just. Okay. Yeah.

[00:54:19] But then again, Harrigan is suspicious of anybody. You know that, or you know this from experience. I probably don't want to admit it, but I'm probably, I feel like I'm actually like my character is probably like closer to Harrigan. Like, like, like kind of like has, has, has, uh, has acquired some traits of Harrigan's more than I'd like to admit. To be fair, you all have. Uh, one of the things that he told you is don't ever trust anybody who smiles at you the moment that they meet you.

[00:54:47] Every, or there is no such thing as a pure soul in this world. Everyone is corrupt. Everybody wants something from you. He's, he basically said the world is full of bastards and expect that everybody is going to try to stab you in the back the first time that they meet you. And then Pollyanna came. Yeah. Then the fire nation came. God. Okay. And, um, we all, we all, we all.

[00:55:15] He says, if you expect the worst out of people, you're not going to be disappointed. If you expect the best, they will show you that you were wrong to expect it. Uh, but even he is finding it hard to find something negative about her. And then there's the other file. So, the other file, uh, for, uh, the paladin, uh, peace coin. You basically find out that he is a follower of the gold dragon.

[00:55:45] Uh, he has the dragon emblazoned on his shield. He claims to be a champion of the righteous. And as he is getting up there in years, he wants to make sure that his legacy continues. And he is looking for someone to carry on the work of his order. Okay. So what, what do we know about the golden dragon? Um, so the golden dragon is one of the icons.

[00:56:11] Um, to be fair, I don't believe any of you, uh, actually follow the golden dragon. No. Nope. So I'm going to give you the cliff notes version just as soon as the book will let me scroll up to it. So the great gold worm, uh, the great gold worm is the world's protector and the inspiration for holy orders of paladins and independent heroes.

[00:56:34] Although the gold worm's physical form seals the gap that prevents the abyss from erupting into the world, his dreams and agents still move through the world, helping those who will fight and even die for what's right. Uh, the quote is, if you fail me now, then my own sacrifice is also futile. Um, centuries ago, the great gold worm threw itself into the abyss to prevent the demons of hell from pouring out on into the world.

[00:57:00] The worm's physical presence and his magical words are still all that prevents the abyss from ripping the world wide open. More often, the worm remains stationary near the worst of the tears in reality. Other times he rampages through a portion of the abyss slaying demons that have caught his eye.

[00:57:16] Um, paladins say that if true heroes can find a way to stop the gap, even for a night and a day, the great gold worm would be free to reinvigorate his followers, restore the golden citadel and beat back the three, which are the trio of evil dragons. The red, the, I think it's a red, green, and blue. Okay. So, uh, the great gold worm is basically the lawful good icon. He is. Dragon.

[00:57:46] Yeah. He is basically dragon Jesus. I am going to block the demons from coming out of this hole with my body. Yep. And so this paladin works for the, uh, is, is a part of that order. Yes. And so basically took, it seems like he took, uh, Anna under his wing. Uh, more or less. Uh, so he is a member of the order of the golden scale, which.

[00:58:14] From what, um, Harrigan has been able to find out is an order that basically tries to stamp out evil in the world. Uh, by force if they have to, by negotiation, preferably. So they talk more than they fight, but they fight if they have to.

[00:58:34] Um, and Anna was sought because of the fact that they needed somebody to basically carry on peace coins work. And we're not saying his work in slaying things because he has a squire. He has, um, he has a couple of protégés who are learning how to fight the good fight. But he doesn't have an heir.

[00:59:02] And so he was looking for an heir. And he decided to make an orphan into his heir. And that's why he came and he found Anna. Uh, as the story goes, uh, she was singing to the birds in the courtyard on the day that he arrived. And because he was so moved by her song, instead of picking up a boy, he picked up the girl.

[00:59:29] He was actually looking originally at Otto, who was a high elf boy who was somewhat skilled with the sword. And he decided instead of going for Otto, he was going to go for Anna. Is that a reference to a man named Otto? Uh, actually, no, if you want to get technical. Uh, the comic strip of A Little Orphan Annie, the, uh, artist was originally going to be drawing a boy.

[00:59:55] And his wife said, hey, that looks like a very cute girl. And so he just kind of went, you know what? I'm going to soften Otto's features and turn him into A Little Orphan Annie instead. So it started out as a comic strip before it became a movie. Huh. And now you know. Reading Rainbow. Oh, we're learning. We're learning. Oh, there we go. Got it. Uh, okay. And to be fair, you don't know exactly what happened to Otto, but you assume he's fine.

[01:00:26] He's not here now. He aged out. Maybe he aged out. Maybe he got adopted by somebody else. Maybe he's working at the coal mine. I mean. Or captive. Or captive. Oh, no. I mean, Minecraft is very popular. The children yearn for the mine. Um, what? Um. Okay. Uh. So. And this. Yeah. So this paperwork is just like kind of like the paperwork that we got on this paladin is

[01:00:53] just like kind of like the effectively the adoption paper information. Effectively. Um. Um. So you read in, um, a little bit further down. You get into, um, Harrigan's notes on, uh, PeaceCoin. Um. He does not know where PeaceCoin's wealth comes from, but he does know that PeaceCoin is a relatively wealthy person. Healthy.

[01:01:21] Now, he also has no idea, um, what PeaceCoin's work entails because he had never heard of the order of the golden scale before PeaceCoin showed up. Uh. But paladin orders often travel. Uh. He put out a request for more information on the golden scale and story checked out after about, uh, three weeks.

[01:01:50] And he didn't investigate any further. So he did do some due diligence. Remember, uh, Harrigan is a very suspicious man. Yeah. Well, at least the old man did his research. Yeah. And, uh, did you, did you find anything out about, uh, from the, from the kids, uh, Tate? Uh, this person's gone. This person's gone. This person's gone. The new kids are this, this, this, this, this. Anything bad enough truth? These people aged out. Anything, anything.

[01:02:19] The, they say, did the kids say anything to you aside from their names and, uh, and screams as they ran away? They kept calling me an old tree, which is just rude, but they were climbing me. We'll allow anybody to make a roll on that. As I look over to, as both, uh, uh, uh, uh, as Assy and me both look at each other. Yeah. It's like, as Assy and I look to each other, it's like, uh. Uh, hard knock life.

[01:02:49] I've dealt with his shit before. You know what? You can definitely make a hard knock life. Can I, can I use tree dweller? You sure can. Uh, so this is an intelligence or, sorry? Uh, this is an intelligence. Okay. The 25th. Why? You mean the old tree? The place that, uh, everybody goes to in the backyard?

[01:03:13] Um, the old tree that, uh, somehow manages to tie into the ancient elf forests? The wood elf tree? That is a spot where the elven queen basically has a bit of sway. It acts kind of like a psychic antenna. That old tree? No, it couldn't possibly be that old tree.

[01:03:34] The one out in the backyard where all of the mystically inclined kids tend to gravitate towards at some point in time to get visions? That old tree? No. The tree that, uh, that I first met Sigismund at? The tree that has been standing for longer than the orphanarium? That every time a woodcutter gets close to it, their axe seems to turn away? I think it's that tree, guys. No, those kids were just being rude and calling me old. It was very insulting.

[01:04:04] Oh, don't I know? Josh. I mean, Adam, you are old. You are literally old enough to be my father. Josh, be nice. Um, well, I suppose we should, uh, maybe, may have a, take a, it's been a while since I've checked out that tree, that old tree. And actually all the trees around it, let's, uh, let's go take a little walk out to the, uh, to the, the tree line. Hey, old tree? Let's go meet the older tree.

[01:04:33] Why is everybody being so mean? You'll get used to it. So you do find the old tree exactly where it's been for the majority of your lives. That's, that's literally right there. I know it's not, but I just, oh, that's old tree. From Fringillian. Sorry. And to be fair, still alive. Still growing. Still getting even older.

[01:05:01] And, uh, you see the knot holes where some of the branches have fallen off at the lower levels and that have been hollowed out by the ravages of time. And you know that there are bolt holes where sometimes some of the older kids will hide sweets.

[01:05:23] Um, there are places within the tree where sometimes offerings are placed to the high druid or placed to the elven queen where they basically will put a little bobble or something with the hopes that they will get a blessing from one of the icons. You know, some of the superstitions. And if somebody wants to take a good look at the tree, you can give me a roll. That's all you'd like to do.

[01:05:53] I look, I look over to Tate and just kind of smile. I was like, old tree, give me a hand. I need a, I need your height. I don't. All right. Have strong shoulders. Um, can I use tree dweller again? In the city? Sure can. Okay. Cause yeah, that's kind of my thing. Um, and, uh, this is, uh, what, what am I rolling with?

[01:06:18] Well, uh, you can either roll with dexterity, uh, to climb the tree and get up high. You can roll with wisdom to check bolt holes and see what you can spot. I'm, uh, do I go with the easy, the, the low hanging fruit or, uh, yeah, I think I'm hanging fruit. Um, uh, you can, if you can explain how a stat applies, you can definitely make the roll.

[01:06:45] I'm going to eat one of the mystical acorns on the tree roll with constitution. Uh, yeah. So I'm going to, with, uh, I just like, I want to climb up to the, uh, one of the, the, the taller, um, or the kind of out of the way, um, I can't remember. Are they called burrs or like the, the knots and the holes, uh, or the, the knot holes, um,

[01:07:08] using, uh, using, uh, um, uh, Tate's, uh, shoulders, uh, as an extra boost, uh, to catch up onto some of the branches, the, the higher branches. That'll be a dex roll then. Yeah. And see what I can get inside. Um, give me a second. Okay. So that's a 16 plus. Okay. So. The 16 plus eight. Yes. Plus. Because you're expected to decks plus two for tree dweller. So that's going to be a 26. Jeez. Yes.

[01:07:38] I am just like a squirrel climbing up that tree after. Yeah. You really are just squirrel girl. Yeah. No, I really, you really are. And, um, let's talk about the unusual thing you find. Um, once you get a certain level of feet up from the ground, uh, you find a small little house inside the tree up in the boughs. So you found the kid's tree fort.

[01:08:07] Oh, I forgot about this. It wasn't here when you were a kid. And you used to just sit in this spot and watch for days. It's like, but I craved myself. Who put this here? Yeah. It's, it's definitely a who put this here, but here's where it gets fun and interesting. Um, it's not built out of planks. It's built out of branches that have curved together.

[01:08:35] So somebody has basically charmed the old tree into putting branches together and into making this lovely little kid's nest question mark, but put a cute little door on it. Curse you, Hydruid! It's like, well, uh, looks like somebody's got the favor of the Hydruid. Looks around. Begrudgingly.

[01:09:06] Uh, and I, I, I, uh, on a whim, I just kind of, before I try to even open her, I give it a knock on the door. Door opens. On its own? Well, there's a couple of kids inside. Oh, okay. And there's also her. Her? Her. You remember, Sylvia. She has, or she was the woodiest of the wood elves.

[01:09:32] And she was older than you, uh, back when you started. Oh. And she had aged out about maybe a month after you arrived. But she looks at you for a moment and just waves you in. For a second, it takes a, it takes a beat, but then I, yeah, I start kind of crawling in or, or walking in. I'm not sure how, how, how big is this? Surprisingly large.

[01:10:00] But then again, the old tree is a fat old tree. Like all four of you or all three of you, uh, reaching out with your arms would be able to make it about halfway around the circumference. It's a, it's a big damn tree. Okay. And yeah, yeah. I, I walk in. Yeah. There's, there's head space inside this little hut.

[01:10:25] And once you're in, uh, the kid that, the kids just kind of close the door behind. And she says, so you've come back. Indeed. Um, we, uh, looks, looks around, looks on it for a second. It's like, we, we received some, uh, missives, uh, regarding, um, uh, regarding somebody at the orphanage. The girl. That one.

[01:10:54] Do you know why? She stopped replying or she stopped, she stopped sending her own messages to the orphanage. And she just kind of nods. She says, I've tried to find her fate, but it's been clouded. And she points to a pile of rune stones. She says, every time that I try to cast the stones, something gets in the way.

[01:11:18] Uh, like something dark or just, just nebulous? She says, I feel that it's something dark, but I can't prove it. Okay. Um. I fear that our girl is in great danger. And I feel that we've been called here for a reason. She says, I am here to watch over the rest of the children. That, that is my purpose.

[01:11:48] Oh, did you just arrive then? Or? I've been here about, she looks over at one of the kids. Three moons now? Does that sound about right? Three moons? And they're like, they're, they're nodding, give or take. One of the kids looks at you and just kind of goes, she's not all here. I heard that. To be fair, none of us are really here or there or anywhere. Anyway.

[01:12:14] Uh, so, so Anna is in peril and we need to, we should definitely look into finding out what's happened to her. Cause she, he looks to the kids and looks to, uh, to Sylvia. It's like, regardless of where we came from, family sticks. Family.

[01:12:37] I have not been able to read directly, but my indirect readings tell me that she has approximately two weeks before something bad is going to happen. Okay. Unless it is stopped. So, well, you have a timetable. Great. Um, I don't suppose.

[01:12:58] Like, things back, like things back on, I was like, did that paper that we were reading of, of, uh, of father piece, uh, uh, piece coin, um, did, did give like where he, where he, where he came from? Like where, or where he like, where he resides? That's just it. No permanent residents. At least nothing close. Yeah. So I, upon thinking about that, like trying to like remember that, it's like, okay, that is like, I look over to the, uh, to Sylvia.

[01:13:24] It's like, I don't suppose your, your, your indirect, uh, rune, um, searching or your rune, uh, scrying would, uh, would allow for it to, for like, to be able to find, uh, find out where we can find, um, that, uh, that paladin that Anna went off with. She shakes her head. Uh, she points at three stones that are separate. She says, I know who must find them.

[01:13:50] Cause she points at one that looks, it's weird, but the graphic on the stone itself, it's a black stone with a knife carved in it. Uh, the second one is a green stone that looks like a woman. No squirrel. No woman. No squirrel. Uh, yeah, that one. And then, and then just a rock. Sorry.

[01:14:19] That's just, it's really just a piece of shale. Oh, to be fair. Um, why are you cuddling that small hog? He, he's a dog, dog, pig, dog, pig, dog, pig, loaf of bread. Cannot compute. I love that cartoon. It's fucking good. Yeah. There's a stone with a loaf of bread, like a very, very robust looking loaf of bread.

[01:14:47] Like this is a pumpernickel, something that you could use to club a man with. Oh man. A battle baguette, if you will. All right. Well, it seems, uh, the fates have decreed that, uh, me and my siblings are to rescue our other sibling. She nods. She says, I know. He says, the, the stars tell me nothing of this peace coin.

[01:15:16] He says, but sometimes the stars are not the only source. He says, I've asked my eyes and ears. And she looks at the five different blackbirds that are just kind of sitting around. Are you the one that sent the letter to me? He says, I know nothing of a letter. You can make a wisdom roll. Okay. Look over, see a crow literally holding the duck egg. Yeah.

[01:15:46] That's that. Yeah. That's going to be what happens. Um, hard knocked life. Cause I, I know what I'm being, uh, when I'm being jerked around. I'll give you that one. Oh, that's a wisdom roll too. Right. Uh, nat 20 and, uh, roll to confirm 24. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so 20, 26 in total, but nat 20.

[01:16:14] So I don't know if that matters anything in 13th age. Oh, to be fair. Yeah. It's, you know, that she's, she's not telling the complete truth there. Yeah. And, oh, I get it. Yeah. When it's like, I know nothing about any letter. Um, first of all, Sylvia does not write. So she would not have been the one to write the letter, but she was the one to supply the messenger. Okay. Yeah.

[01:16:41] As I see the crow with the, uh, like nursing a, uh, a duck egg. Basically the crow has just kind of put a wing out and just sliding the egg behind it. Like what egg? One of the kids in the tree house are also just like hiding some pieces of paper in some, uh, and whatever they scrawled with. Yeah. Like the kids are hiding the scraps of paper that they stole from, uh, Harrigan's office. Yeah.

[01:17:09] You know that he's notorious for, um, writing his notes on thick course paper that he gets by the ream. And then as soon as it gets to a certain point, he takes a stone and just rubs all of that out so that he can make notes again. And once the paper is worn almost see-through thin, he throws it away. The kids have been pilfering his old paper so that they can send out letters via bird. I just, I just wink to the kid that's trying to hide the thing.

[01:17:38] She says, but I do know that the order of the scale is notorious for setting up temporary offices within the layers of beasts that they have vanquished. So I would suggest looking towards any of the old keeps, uh, you know, that there was a nest of kobolds to the north and you know, that there were that old necromancer place to the south.

[01:18:07] I just think back on my comrade down below. It's like, well, I, we may have an in on that one, but, but I don't know where they are right now. I wish I could be of more help. No, you've, you've helped quite enough. Uh, you've, you've brought this to our attention. And, uh, once I, I leave here and go back down to talk with the others, I will, we will, uh, set forth and rescue our, our, our, our dear sister. She nods.

[01:18:37] She says, may the way of the queen light your way. And also with you. Um, I, uh, as I'm like walking by the, the one kid who was like hiding the, the, the, the papers and stuff like that. I, uh, I just like flick him a coin. You get a wink and return. So yeah. Scene ends. Uh, yeah. So like, I don't know. Do you want to go back to the other guys or cause I've been kind of gobbling up the scenery. Yeah.

[01:19:02] After you boost Caroline up, she disappears into the boughs of the tree and it's like, all right, Caroline, Caroline, Billy. Caroline. Tell us if you're okay. Did you fall down a well? But meanwhile, what are you guys doing? I really don't know. To be honest with you. I am probably just staring up at the train. Where is she? Where'd she go? Uh, you can give me a wisdom check.

[01:19:32] Sure. Why not? So do you have a skill that would help you to find somebody? Do you have a background that would point towards where did she go? Well, I could say hard knock life because God no only knows, we probably climbed this tree. You know, I'll give you a tip. Uh, I'll give that one to you. But I almost want to go himbo because it's like, I am the living personification of a golden retriever. Or every once in a while you have, like, genius.

[01:20:02] Like, maybe you come to that decision the wrong way, but you come to the decision. I get there. I get there. But yeah, I'll use hard knock life. Fucking damn. Uh, 16 plus hard knock life, 18. Great. Uh, so it was 16 on the die? 16 on the die, yes. Okay. 18 total. Uh, 21 total because you got to add your level too. Right, yes. Sorry, I forgot about that. So that is going to be a 21. Uh, you're looking up.

[01:20:32] Was that treehouse always there? You know what? If you were looking from the orphanage, you wouldn't see the treehouse. But looking straight up from right here underneath it, you can kind of see a treehouse. Where did that come from? Has that treehouse always been there? I'm pointing like straight up. I don't believe so. Huh. Cool. Yeah, I think we just probably just step down there and we'll, uh, time away till Caroline comes back down.

[01:21:01] Actually, Assy, give me a role. Um, give me a perception role. Ooh, I am perceptiony. Because let's be fair, you're probably on lookout. This is, you've done this before. Oh yeah, I've been involved in illegal shit. Uh, so that would be, you said intelligence. What's illegal about looking at a, looking at a treehouse? Well, I, I did horribly. I wrote a three and a six, so it eludes me. Let's see.

[01:21:31] Do you have any skill or background that you could apply to that? I know, I'm, well, to be a con artist, you gotta know a con. To be able to spot a con. So, I mean, would plus two make a difference? You know what? I'll give it to you because that is one that you haven't used yet. Um, you notice that there is a bit of cross-pollination between the two halves of the home for elves.

[01:21:58] There is a very, very old elf that is, uh, sitting in the shade next to the duck pond that is tossing food towards the ducks. But to be fair, um, there's no ducks at his feet. Okay, walk up to him. Uh, what are you feeding, sir? He just kind of glances over towards you.

[01:22:26] And he says, hello again, assy. Do I recognize this person? You do. Uh, this is Dodger. And I put my hand through Dodger. Uh, you try. And when you just touch old, old elf, he just kind of goes, I'm not a ghost yet. I'm sorry. Bastard. Yeah. Dodger was the one who taught you how to pick a pocket.

[01:22:54] He was the one who taught you the basics of cons. So now that I've been distracted, I'll quickly remember my lessons and look around. Like, see if I've been made. I'm a mark. Nope. He says, somebody sent you a letter, didn't they? Uh, during fan club. You know how it goes. Send a little money back. And, uh, they haven't named a wing of this place out after me yet.

[01:23:21] But, you know, I'm sure the assy wing is here to be built. He says, probably not in my lifetime. He says, but I'll tell you, every little bit has helped. Uh, I'm pretty sure you're the reason why they get meat two days a week instead of one. He says, and I'm also reasonably sure that you're never going to get thanked for that. If I wanted thanks, I would have took a different line of work.

[01:23:49] Uh, you need people in the trenches, so to speak. It isn't about that. Um, there was a little girl who used to sing to the birds. She's not here anymore. We miss that little girl. Is this Anna we speak of? That would be the one, yes. She never treated us like invalids.

[01:24:13] He says, and you know that after, after that arrow, and he just kind of gestures towards his leg, I never was able to run the rooftops the same way again. That's, that's why I'm here. That's why I'm not out there. I used to be an adventurer like you. Until I took an arrow to the shin. I'm not a guard. Can you, this seems to be kind of an atypical setup anyway.

[01:24:40] Anna seems to have been perfect, and now she's gone, and I don't know. Something just didn't add enough, right? I mean, if anybody was going to get a happy ending, it was hers, but I'm afraid it's not a happy ending. I'm afraid it's not a happy ending either. He says, what do you know about PeaceCoin? Uh, beg your pardon, David? What was that again? What do you know about PeaceCoin?

[01:25:05] I know that, casually, like, well, I found some new reading material. And just kind of shake it, like, you know, show it to him. Yeah. Harrigan tries to do his due diligence, and he didn't find anything about the man. I've got more eyes and ears than he does. And you want to know what my people found when they started looking into PeaceCoin? Probably nothing, and that's the tip.

[01:25:34] They found worse than nothing. They didn't come back. Which direction did your people go? I sent them everywhere. And the ones that were able to get some form of message back to me. You need a seance to talk to them. And all I get is ghosts that are screaming. So not only did they get torment in this life, they got it in the after. That is not a good name. Tread carefully.

[01:26:03] I appreciate the advice. We'll find her. And I'll settle some scores for you. He nods. Says they were some of my best. And I guess with that, you know, lay a hand on the shoulder, nod things, and... He's licking the tree. Are you... Quit, Tate. It tastes... But the sap tastes sweet.

[01:26:32] As I'm, like, looking down, like, getting ready to, like, climb down, I was like, Tate, what are you doing? The tree is leaking stuff. It tastes sweet. It's sap. The inner Canadian comes out. It's... It's... I know it's sweet. I know it's a sweet water, but, like, you gotta filter it first and then boil it. That's how you make the syrup. You don't drink... You don't... It's not great if you drink... If you just drink it off the tree.

[01:27:03] Slip child gummed up. Like a dog with peanut butter. Yeah, basically. So what'd you find out of Tara? Yeah, as she's, like, getting down, I was like, well... Thanks to an old friend... Or an old sibling that's showed up to protect the young'uns. We...

[01:27:28] I know that, apparently, Anna and this paladin can't be scryed mystically without some kind of obscuration going on. So, um... But, uh... Anna's in trouble. We need to... We need to... We have about two weeks before something really bad, apparently, happens to her. Um...

[01:27:58] And... Any breeds? Yeah, um... Apparently this, uh... The, uh... The order that paladin, uh... Works with, or for... Uh... They... They usually... They're all over the place. But they... They tend to camp out or... Or... Or... Station out at, um... At old, like, keeps. Um... So, there's... There's two that I can think of. There's, uh... One where there was a bunch of kobolds that were cleared out.

[01:28:27] And then there's one that was formerly owned by a necromancer. Or... Was it a necromancer or a lich? Sorry, David. Uh... You know that it was a necromancer of some sort. Okay. Yeah. Lich? That's a possibility? Yeah. I just wasn't sure if I... I couldn't remember if I... If she... If, uh... If Sylvia had said lich or necromancer. Um... Uh... She had said necromancer. Okay. Now... Important question time. Uh... What are your various icons?

[01:28:56] Uh... Well, I'm the elf queen and hydruid. Okay. I have apparently written down the wrong... Name. For mine. Mine is the... Prince of Shadows. Which I... On my character sheet wrote Prince of Darkness. I mean... It's not too far off, but also has... Not too far off, but yeah. Yeah. That is my... Plus...

[01:29:25] My plus two... Uh... Prince likes my work. It sees potential. I hope. I really want senpai to notice me. A shadow horribly known as Prince. The Lich King also likes me. With one. And... The fact that the Lich King likes me because... I mean... I may or may not be able to... Speak to... Certain departed people... Is also unsettling and... Not a good thing.

[01:29:54] Adam, literally as you started talking about the Lich King... Um... A very creepy owl... Uh... Like call... Start happening out my window. Oh, that's nice. That's ominous. Adam's coming for you. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. And then... Well, to be fair... I was... I was... Yeah. Stop digging. You hit gold. Uh... Yeah. Yeah. You feel a chill... When you start thinking about it. Uh...

[01:30:22] Specifically, you feel a chill when you start thinking about... The Lich King. So I put a... I put a feeler out a moment ago. I make it... Excuse me. I'm getting choked up. Goddamn allergies. Uh... Look. I'm gonna make it sound more important than it was. That I just happened on a note of acquaintance. Like I put a few feelers out here. And... Apparently they've been... There've been people... Been out looking into... Uh... This... Uh... What was the guy's name? The... Peace... Uh... Peace Coin.

[01:30:52] Peace Coin. They've been looking into Peace Coin. And nobody comes back. And then... Uh... When they use divining methods... They come back. But they're just screaming and not coherent. Huh. And if I may take liberties, David... And you can shut me down. I... From my understanding of all this... Uh... When the body... If the body's been desecrated like... Uh... Like a necromancer could do to a living body... It really disrupts the spirit... That was housed in it.

[01:31:21] And I think that our best bet... Would be to head to the old necromancer's keep. That does seem to correlate... With what I... With the information that... Uh... Oh... Sylvie says hello. Um... But yeah. Yeah. How is she? Well, hold on a second. Or comes out ten minutes later. Oh, she's great. I plan. I didn't do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's... She's fine. She's... She's going to keep... Like I said, she's going to... Uh... Stick around and...

[01:31:51] And watch over the rest... She apparently seems to have been called here... To watch over the rest of the children... And the... And the... Which... Makes this feel a little bit more... Dire than... Than... Than I... Than I thought it was going to be. Upon the queen's behalf, perhaps? Perhaps. Yeah. Tate. What's your take on this? Brace itself. Roadtrap. You're... You're Fazek from Princess Brat. God bless you, Josh.

[01:32:24] Fazek, you did a good job. Don't worry. I won't let it go to my head. Tate's just pawned in Game of Life. Sorry. Tate, what do you think? Well, not much. Tate smash. It's like... It's like... I have an army. We have a Tate. I had a friend. It was like... His girlfriend broke down on him one time. And was talking about something really horrible. I can't remember what it was.

[01:32:53] But it was bad, right? And I go... Well, how did you handle this for us? He goes... I just started playing Pong in my head. Oh my God. Oh my God. So you're sitting there playing Pong Tate. I wonder what his internal monologue is. Oh, it's just a doll tone.

[01:33:22] So why don't we kind of gather up some supplies? We'll head down that way. I feel like this is... I'm not a holy person. Tate at... Caroline. So we... What would an intellect, if we were going to encounter a necromancer? Well, I don't... Well, I mean... Supposedly, the group cleared out the keep.

[01:33:51] If what we're kind of seeing is... Maybe they're not being as holier than thou. And working for the golden dragon kind of thing. Maybe they're working for the opposite side. Probably me jaded. But when you appear too perfect... That really highlights how imperfect you are. These more I'll show. So... Yeah, maybe we could get some blessed water or something like that. Or... I don't know. It wouldn't hurt. We could... We could...

[01:34:20] Certainly go... Out of game, I'm not sure what the religions are. Aside from the... I assume the golden dragon has churches. Or is it like... Is there... Are there like sanctified temples or something that we can go to? Actually, there are. So when talking about the icons, I would like to point out that there is... There is another icon that should be mentioned. And that is... The priestess. Oh.

[01:34:49] The priestess hears all the gods of light and speaks for those who please her. She is part oracle, part mystic, and part metaphysical engineer. Since she created the cathedral, An ever-expanding temple with rooms or entire wings for each of the faiths she favors. Her quote is, If you listen carefully, you can hear the world's song of hope. So she can usually be found in the cathedral, a towering edifice in Santa Cora, the city of temples. But...

[01:35:17] There are various churches to the priestess. And there are various churches to the different... The different deities of light. So... If you're looking for holy water, Or trying to sanctify your weapons, You can actually go through a couple of different routes. The golden dragon... Or the great gold worm... Does have followers pretty much everywhere.

[01:35:46] To be fair, the priestess... Would be the place where you would go to find some kind of sanctified weapon. Good to prince's shadows get me. I'm stealing something valuable from these people. The prince, though, he wants something different. I've never rescued somebody before. And that would be quite a boon. To steal this away from an enemy of sorts. So... He is...

[01:36:16] Let's be fair. He is very much about profit. Like money. Here's the question. Are you guys leaving right now? To get your sanctified weapons? Or to get your bonuses? Or are you going to wait a night? And head out first thing in the morning? What time of day is it? Well, it's getting on to late afternoon. The kids just finished lunch a little bit ago.

[01:36:44] And then you got together and read through the scrolls and all of that. So... Say a couple of hours have passed. Yes. We read through the scrolls. Yes. Group effort. Yes. Yes. You did good, Tate. You did good. Thank you. You threw Carolette up at a tree. That was good work. I didn't even throw her. I stood there. I was about to say, I was figuring it as Tate going, would you like a boost? Sure. Toss. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what really happened.

[01:37:14] It's just like, I got flogged halfway up the tree and managed to grab onto some branches. Like, thanks, Tate. An alley-oop. It... Tate's too good. Then, uh... I'm honestly thinking probably... We've already made a splash. I think, uh... We'll get an inn. We'll get a room at the inn, possibly, to see if there's... If we're not being trapped, there's always a duplicity.

[01:37:42] To be fair, the Prince of Shadows tends to operate more at night. Yeah. And so, if you're going to try to invoke your bond with the Prince of Shadows and try to see what does he have for you, you're not going to find out in daylight. Yeah. So, why don't you guys... I'll... Honestly, Prince of Shadows doesn't want me swinging his name around in front of my companions. Like, look, we may have been following. This may be a big... A bit of a trap.

[01:38:11] I mean, other people... Franna has disappeared. Why don't you all get a room? I'm going to post up. Like, you can point to the inn and then point to a tree across from there. I'll climb up there. I'll post up there. I'll do a little bit of a watch. We'll just see if anybody takes the bait. Sounds reasonable. I got my... I got this bow and arrow. I got your back. I'll make enough noise for you to where you can defend yourself. Uh... She's... Uh... Um... For a moment, uh...

[01:38:40] There's a pause in, uh... In Caroline's, uh... Uh... Speech here. And then... As she tries to remember, it's like... What type of moon cycle is it? Do I recall what the moon cycle is right now? Audrey. Yeah, basically. So, just to have some fun with this, um... Because, you know, I like to think of myself as a fair GM.

[01:39:07] What we're going to do is I'm going to random roll for... For moon phase. Let's see what we get. Okay. So, it is, um... Do-do-do-do-do-do. That's got to be an eight-sided die. You know what? I will have you roll it. So, roll an eight-sider for me, please. All right. You're going to be the master of your own destiny. Six. Okay.

[01:39:35] So, that means that it is, um... How do you pronounce that? Gibbius? Oh, Gibbius? Yeah. Yeah. It's not quite full, but it's getting there. Okay. That's... Okay, well... Full squirrel on him. Well, that's... Okay. Yeah. So, there's one that's like, yes, let's get a room at the inn. I'm not going to think about my own time limit.

[01:40:05] My own certain time limits on things. Nope. Okay. Okay. So, this feels like a good time to discuss rolling icon relationship dice. Okay. So, I know that this is a d20-based game, but your icon dice are going to be based on a d6. Okay.

[01:40:28] So, you are going to roll a number of dice that are equal to the points that you spend on the relationship with the icon that you are invoking. It's like I got two, if I'm not mistaken. Let me double check. Yeah, I got three points. Okay. Okay. So, you're going to roll those dice and you are going to hope for a six. You're also going to look out for a five. Three and a one. Okay.

[01:40:56] So, with a three and a one, that means that he is not listening tonight. So, that's going to be a null. Okay. On the other hand, I would like you to roll one more die. Okay. One d6. Mm-hmm. I see where this is going. And a six. Oh, this is going to be fun for me. Let's talk about others.

[01:41:27] Josh, what are your icons? Josh has food. No, that's why. Okay. Josh is in third person. Yes. Yes. Yes, he is. Now he's his second. No, no, he's still there. Okay. So, what are your dice? Elf Queen, Emperor, and Dwarf King. Okay. One of each. Roll your Elf Queen, please. 1d6, hoping for a six.

[01:41:55] 1d6, hoping for a six. One. Nope. Nope. She's not paying any attention to you. Not surprising. Should I? Chris? Yeah. Would you please roll your Elf Queen, please? Okay. Elf Queen plus... So, I got plus two to that. So, I just roll... So... Roll 2d6. 2d6. Okay. Cool. Two. That's a four and a one. Right. So, that's a big whifferoony for you, too.

[01:42:23] So, Adam, do you want the good news first, or do you want the bad? Okay. So, soften the blow a little bit for me, David. Give me the good. All right. All right. So, middle of the night, while your two... While your siblings are sleeping, you are awakened by a cold chill. And as you get out of bed and you look around, you notice that the window is open. That window wasn't open before.

[01:42:52] And so, as you go over to... It's not a window. It's a door. Was it a door earlier? Huh. That's strange. Oh, hey. It leads out to a balcony. And as you step out onto that balcony, you notice that it goes a lot further than you thought. It's not just a short little balcony with a little table and chairs. It seems like it's a hallway.

[01:43:21] I will follow it. And that's when you realize two things. One, you're dreaming. And two, this is a little bit too vivid for a dream. But you follow that hallway until you come to a room. The room has an altar in the middle of it with chains leading to the four points on a beer that is roughly human-sized. You know, those chains are a little bit too long for a full-size human.

[01:43:50] You know, they're about right for a smaller-sized being to just hold them in place. And you see stains going down the side of this beer. And you hear a voice saying, Come to admire my handiwork. Trying to sound confident. I think it's important to appreciate any artist's work. Trying to not offend.

[01:44:19] I realize I'm in deep shit. You know she's mine now. And as soon as her blood spills on the night of the dark moon, her power will be mine too. If you leave now. If you take your siblings away now. I will spare you. Now doesn't that sound generous of me? That is generous of you. But, you know, what's the big thing? You can think about it. You can think about it.

[01:44:49] You don't have to say yes, right? But I will tell you. If you say no, I'm not going to simply kill you. You're going to join your little friends. Dodger sent a number to try to thwart me. And they are going to be in torment. And their souls are going to scream for eternity. You can join them. Or you can join me. It's a simple choice. He remains silent.

[01:45:16] I want you to understand that this is the extent of my generosity. And he puts a cold, dead, skeletal hand on your shoulder. And he says, I'm offering you this because you haven't had a chance in this life. I want you to know that I can be kind to Assy as long as I get what I want.

[01:45:42] Her soul is going to be mine one way or the other. This is that scene from I Am Legend where it's, you know, the thing's kind of face-to-face with Will Smith kind of deal. He just kind of looks down, grasping the gravity of the situation. He says,

[01:46:04] Now you can wake up and you can tell them, but understand that the penalty is going to be quite severe if you decide not. He says, So you can go now. And he just pats you on the shoulder. He says, You can tell them what they're tangling with and understand that I do not like people snooping around my business. I understand that the capital is very nice this time of year. And he turns and he walks away. And I beat feet back.

[01:46:35] Just slapping yourself the whole time. Well, that's a real creepy ending for us here, David. And quite a quiff hammer. Thank you very much. It was good. And that just means that there is more to come. So join us next time when we learn, what will our intrepid adventurers do? How far will they explore?

[01:47:01] Are they willing to rask the wrath of the Lich King? Huh? Huh? The reference. I love how you've thrown in so many silly, fun references and yet also have made this game very dire and serious and creepy in moments with that character. God damn. You're welcome.

[01:47:30] I should have picked a different icon, I guess. Well, I'll tell you. But on that happy note. Yeah. See you all next time. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.