“Our Prospectors and heroes have entered the Tournament to get the prized Leaf Stone. Hope ya’ll like silly pokemon shenanigans and a Snorlax ton of combat, with some theatrics. Because that’s really all you're getting this session…”
Cast:Chris - GM
[REDACTED] - Conlin Von Grabblejack
Eric - Baron Dashforth
Stephanie - Giselda Tomahawki
Myles - Joe Jolly Jenkins
Musical Credits
"Adventures in Adventureland" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
[00:00:22] This is Pokemon Shakers in the world. I haven't met one. We are starting with the tournament after they finally rebuilt the stadium from that unfortunate Charizard explosion incident two days prior. I still want to know how that happened. It is a mystery to us all. It's not an explosion. Or self-destruct.
[00:00:50] No, no. He did. What his traitor did was he just strapped to TNT to him. Charizard, use explosions. It's super effective on your Pokemon. And part of the stadium. Charizard is a Taliban, eh? Charizard is a Taliban-
[00:01:20] Charizard, the terrorists are going to use Pokemon that have explosions. Charizard, the event is starting. Charizard, the tournament is starting. from the town and whatnot. It's essentially like a larger...
[00:01:49] I'm making a show of this. I have a costume made up with a cape and everything. I'm like parading. Are you? Are you walking? Is one of the competitors a Mexican? I'm doing this... Oh man! Superstars of the Mexican Wrestling Federation! Yes! Unmask him. Take his mask for yourself. God. I will take his power for mine. No, I'm doing like full-on WWE entrants.
[00:02:18] You know, showboating and like... Are you timing the pizza? Yeah. Roll perform check. I don't have perform. Roll bass and see how well you can do it. Charisma check. Yeah, pretty much. Except all they'll have is like those... What do you call it? Those sort of barroom pianos. Yeah. That's intro music. That's all they got, really. They're playing me some piano to walk in on. Yeah!
[00:02:47] The crowd goes wild as the character... As Conlon Von Graveljack walks, runs into the room. Spectacular as ever. And then the... People will be like, Gavin Fred, get off the ring! You're hurting the fight! And then the rest of the competitors come in and they start the battle. Um... And, uh, the showman... The masked showman, Mikey, is just, Are you ready, folks,
[00:03:16] for a great battles? I'm ready for someone to get the idiot off the field. Security! Please remove the crazy! The crazy! The crazy! You're chasing after him. I am, dude! I swear! Get the drunk out of here! I think he's had too much laudanum!
[00:03:48] But yeah, so, um... The tournament starts, um... It's essentially kind of like a... Like a... Like a bowl... Like a... It's a boxing match kind of thing except larger stadium. Uh, or larger arena. And, uh, the first person... Or, after a couple of rounds, the first person going up on... In our group is... Tamahaki versus... Bao Jing. I'm not removing that. If it caught him.
[00:04:18] How do you know? I don't know if it caught him or not. Anyway. Yeah. So, there is a... There is a Chinese, uh, man, um... In, like, a standard Chinese garb and whatever. Um, he actually looks like he's gotten dressed for, uh, for his best for this. Um, and he's on one side of the... And you're on the other side and, uh, and Mikey is just, uh, it's like, In our one side, we have Bao Jing. Who's spent... Spent some time on the railroad. Uh, some of us. Yes. And then moved up north for his...
[00:04:47] Uh, to make his fortunes. And in the other... What is him from the land of Jake? Can you? And then in the... In the other side, we have the savage Gisela Tomahaki. Our crazy... I'm gonna give him one of those native medicine... Evil smiles. Evil native smiles. Roll an intimidate check. Which one's intimidate? I don't know. Where's my character sheet? Where's your character sheet? We're starting this off fast. You got a yellow slave, what for? Okay. What do I roll for intimidate?
[00:05:17] Uh, intimidate is... right there. You roll a charisma. Charisma. What do you got for charisma? You get a plus one bonus to your charisma, so roll a d20. What dice do I roll? You roll a d20. Always a d20. Let's be angry. 11. Okay, hang on, I gotta roll for this guy. He's native. She's native, so it's gotta add some. He is terrified of you. Wee-hoo! He... Chop one up for the crazy native check. You kind of look like him, but you're giving him, like, the evil eye. And it's terrifying. Um...
[00:05:47] Yeah, pretty much. And... It's like... It's like... Feral grin. So who are you choosing as your first Pokemon? I don't know. Who's coming in first? Do I get to know? Roll a, uh... Roll a d... Uh, here. Roll a d4... Or roll a d6. Um, which one's six? And try and get a higher... A high mark. That's eight. Nope, that's it. That's eight. What's that? That's a d6. I'm so confused. That's a d6. Oh. Dui. I'm looking for one of the funky ones. Six! Okay. Um... You're going first.
[00:06:18] So I don't get to see what Pokemon he shows. Nope. What were they again? Ninjas and Pancham? Yeah. Pancham... A black and white bear-like Pokemon that you know as Pancham. Freaking looking at the bear. Actually, your character probably wouldn't know what a Pancham is, but you know what a Pancham is. It looks like a little... And it's chewing on a piece of brass. It kind of looks like a black and white Ursa ring. Or a Teddy Ursa. This is the one that's going to be a bitch. Quick question. Hmm?
[00:06:48] If the player goes last, who goes between Miles and I? The NPCs that I'm just going to roll for, um... Like, see who won out of that match. I'm... Oh, yeah, you're right. Flip a coin or something. Okay, I'm going to throw it at Lapras. All right. You're clearly... You're just flopping on the... Would you quit disrespecting my Lapras, Christopher? I'm kidding. She is a noble animal. All right.
[00:07:18] All right. She starts flopping randomly. Sorry. It's just so funny. It's like... Okay. You know what? I apologize. I apologize. So what is that? All right. So, well... While we enjoy our food and run this game, Pan Cham... Yeah, so Bao Jing says... Zing Zang! Zing Zang! I choose you! And then you release your Lapras and... It's a trick, Panda? Yeah, Mikey says...
[00:07:46] Ready and fight! And the battle can start. So, yeah, we rolled a D20 initiative. And you base it off of your speed. Oh, well... You just got to be a Calgary. I was like... I just grabbed my phone and walked away from the conversation. That is going to be a six. Mine's a ten. All right. You're going first. All right. I'm going to attack with Zing! All right. So I just have to hit. Yeah. So D20, right? Yeah. All right. Eighteen. What kind of attack is that?
[00:08:15] Is that special or normal? Um, Zing is... It doesn't have... Okay, it's a normal. It's a normal attack. Yeah. So it'll be a normal attack. So your bonus... So I defend with... I got a 22. An eight. So it's... So your Pan Cham is now sleeping! So Pan Cham, after some melodic singing from your Lapras, it sounds like Wailord songs or Lapras songs, I guess, in this case. Pan Cham starts lulling and then drops to the floor for a raft. For the first raft. All right.
[00:08:45] So, uh... You have to roll and see if he wakes up. Well, I think it's guaranteed he stays asleep for at least one round. Is it? Is it at least one round he stays asleep? Before we have, like, a sleep attack? If I'm attacking first and I put him to sleep, is it at least one turn? He's asleep that turn. Okay. So, my turn again? I'm going to use... He gets a chance to wake up when he selects his next attack. All right. Well, I'm going to Omnomicon his dreams. And Pan Cham is weak to psychic, and that is a psychic attack.
[00:09:15] Okay. So I'm going to eat his delicious dream. He is dreaming of... So I roll a d10? Yep. Aw, man. He's dreaming of hot springs in the bamboo. So that's special attack. Five. So it's a six. Hmm? Six. Six. And he is weak to psychic. So he gets a double. So it doubles. So it's a 12. So it's a 12. All right.
[00:09:39] So her lapras starts eating his dream of being a martial artist and then falling into a haunted hot spring. All right. So that was 12, you said? Okay. 12, yeah. I'm really bad at math. 35. Thank you. Okay. Woo-hoo! Knock the mofo out. So, yeah, that's hurting. So now you have to roll to see if he wakes. I think it was a percentile. Or no, it was odds or evens, right? So is it even he wakes, odd he doesn't? Even? Okay.
[00:10:08] Even he wakes, odd he doesn't. Even he's wake? He wakes up with a start and it's like... And just looks at... It glares at your lapras. It's like... You ate my dreams, bitch! You've ruined my dreams! I'll end you! Lapras is like... He's like... He's telecommunic... Or is like... He's like translating. Fucking little panda. I'm bigger than you. All right. So then... Is it his turn then? Yes. Because he's awake now. So... Twelve. And then he's going to use...
[00:10:38] He's going to use arm thrust. Because he's pissed. Is that special or... That's a normal attack. Normal? So that would be a seventeen to hit. Okay. So I add special defense? Or normal defense? A normal defense. Okay. So that's eleven. And Lapras is strong against fighting. That only applies to damage, I think. Which attack is it? Um... The arm thrust. That's fighting? Yeah. She's strong against fighting type moves. Damn. Uh... Did we figure out...
[00:11:06] Okay, so if the opposing Pokemon is strong against the other Pokemon's fighting attack, he still hits normally, but his damage is weakened, right? If they're strong against the attack? Yeah. Okay. Okay, so... So he still hits... It's still hit, but the damage is going to be... Yeah, the damage will be reduced. Okay. And I just need to pull out a D4, because I've got to figure out how many attacks he does. Oh, right. Yeah. It's the multi-attack one. It's this guy. He only attacks... He only gets two swipes in. Okay. Uh...
[00:11:34] And then I've got to roll a D2... Uh... Twice. So... One... So six... Oh, no. That doesn't work. Okay. So that's going to be... So... 13 minus... So it's going to be seven. 13 cut in half. Seven. Right? Yeah. So it gets... Yeah. Rammed up? No, yeah, yeah. Sorry, yeah. I just wanted to... But... Sorry? So yeah, seven damage. Um, for two... For two swipes of, uh... Like, karate moves. That's a... Or of karate traps and whatnot.
[00:12:04] Whatever arm press does, because that just sounds dirty. Okay. Uh... And then... So Lapras's turn. Yep, Lapras. Lapras's going to put the vascular to sleep again. I want your dreams! I'm ready... I'm ready... I'm ready to crew you, bitch! Alright. So... So... D20 to attack. And that's normal. Okay. Alright, that was 18 to defend. So he... 20 to attack. So he... And...
[00:12:33] He drops. Because it was... Wow! Yeah, because it was 100%. Yeah. Yeah, same as 100%. If he hits, he does. He gets a couple of swipes in, and he's like... Wow! And just drops again. And starts dreaming of... Um... Of beating up some, uh... Some type... Some snow leopard in a martial arts dojo. Um... Yeah. You're going to pull out the... I'm pulling every freaking... Ow! Fuck off! I'm pulling every panda trope I can find in these dreams. Alright. Okay, so he's asleep.
[00:13:02] Yeah, your turn to... I'm eating his... Nom-nomming his dreams again. So roll to see if it hits, right? Or is it automatic... It's an automatic hit, because he's asleep in his dream eater. Yeah. Okay, so I'm rolling a d10 for damage, then. You can't really dodge much. No. Actually, somebody's asleep. Um... They can't dodge, correct? They can't dodge in attacks? That would make sense. Okay. You still roll, but you don't, uh... Okay. You don't back-rid their... Their bonus? Gotcha. So it'll be a base bonus. Okay, so I'm still rolling?
[00:13:32] Yeah. Which you're going to definitely succeed. Yeah, it's special. Yeah. Special attack. So yeah, 10. Okay. Alright, and 10. Wow! Really? Wow, that's a 10. Oh, is it a 10? Yeah, 0 is a 10. So 10, and he's weak to psychic, so 20. Christ. Alright, um... Mitchie, you're going down! You crushed his dream, his dreams yet again of becoming a martial arts master. He's at 15. Jesus. And then I gotta... You get some pandas going down. I gotta roll to see if he wakes up. Yeah.
[00:14:01] All right, odds are evens. You woke up. Evens, he wakes up again. Bastard wants to his sleep. He's just more than ever, and he's just going to tackle. He's just angry. So he's just going to tackle. Just tackle? Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna say it to you. Oh, you definitely hit, dude. Uh, 9? To attack? Um, be just regular defense, right? Yeah. 6. I rolled a 1. So, yeah, I guess it's a... So a d4 and plus 5, so... So 9 damage on Lapras.
[00:14:32] Divided by 2, because she's strong again. Oh, no, that's not fighting type. No, that's not normal tackle. So 9. Can you pass me? The pink pencil's right there. I can see the end of it. Nope. Hey. Got it? I do... There we go. There we go. Okay. So 9? Hmm? 9? Yeah. We got 37. All right. Are you going to eat his dreams again, or cause his dreams to go again? What has he got left? 15? He's got 15. Yeah, I'm gonna... I'm gonna...
[00:15:01] Come on, Sing Sing! You can do it! He's not weak to anything else that I can hit him with. I have an attitude. He's strong... Actually, he's not strong against any of mine, so if I hit him hard enough... Nah, I'm gonna put him to sleep. Ooh. It might not even hit him. That's a 22... A 21. Yeah, nope. Missed. He's... He's like... He finally... He's like, Sing Sing! Cover your ears! And then... Stick your fingers as deep as they'll go! I was like...
[00:15:31] Kills him. He touched me, Brady! Alright, so... Pan Jam is going to go for another tackle, since arm thrust didn't seem to work very well. Yeah, but we did, Cody. And that's probably not gonna work, cause it's a 9, so... Roll to defend that. Oh, shit. Shit. Um... 9. Oh, so... Goes to the player. Yep. Yeah! So you... He misses. He does a... He tries to do some kind of martial art move imitation. And to try to tackle you, and it just kind of fails.
[00:16:00] He just bounces off her chest. No, bounces off the shell. He starts to pull one of the spikes. He tries to pull one of the spikes. Like... It does not. Okay. Ugh. Okay. So... Attack. 19. To hit with Sing. Post. And he fails. He drops! Poor Panda. He's now dreaming of... Um... Being on a floating island turtle. Um... And...
[00:16:29] And fighting off orcs and whatnot. Cause I'm going there. So... Uh... He will roll to... And now with my attacking... Roll to defend against that. Yeah, roll to defend against... You're using Dream Meter? Are you... Yeah, yeah. You know you can attack him while he's down. Like... But, okay. Well, it's 13 against that, so... Special attack. 16. Yeah, you get a... Um... Omnom Con his dreams. You're just...
[00:16:58] You're breaking this poor Panda's dreams. Eating all his delicious dreams off. What'd you get? One. Oh. What'd you get for... But it's double... Oh, I forgot. Dream Meter... I get half the HP I inflicted on him. So what did I inflict last time? 20? I think it was 20, yeah. So I get 10 back. Oh, Jesus. I'm up to... Back up to your... Nice. I forgot about that. Okay. Um, sorry. It was one damage. And he's awake to psychic, so two. So two? That's sad. So he's just...
[00:17:27] He's done the 13. Yeah. Alright. So he's gonna try to wake up. Yep. He's gonna try to wake up. I swear to God. You... Yes! He's still asleep. He's still snoozing about... I'm gonna om nom con him in the hand. He's dreaming of this giant evil force about to, like, ruining his world. And that's pretty much what he's been dreaming... Like, start dreaming about. Okay. Roll through your, uh, defense. And it oddly looks like a lap. He's doing his dream. He's having a nightmare. That's so bad! Um, I got a third... 12. You win. You get him.
[00:17:57] Alright. So... Okay. Let's go. Come on. Let's just eat the mofo. Om nom con his dreams. 3 times 2 is 6. And I get half of that back. So 6 plus the... Er, 6 is 3 plus the 1 from last time. So I get 4 back. Is that 9? 51. Minus... Minus 6? No, it's 7. No, yeah. Sorry. I wasn't paying attention. And I'm almost back up to full health. Wow. My om noming is dreams.
[00:18:25] Looks like we know who's gonna be facing up against, um... 7. Bao Jing's, uh, new... 7. 7? Yeah. Oh, right. No, wait. He's still asleep. Yeah. And he's still asleep. He's just snoozing. Come on, Bao Jing. Wake up! Or no, come on. Wake up, fuck up! Come on, Zing Zing. Wake up! Wake up! And that is a 21 to hit. Oh, fuck. Okay. He can't do it. Yeah, I just realized. The feudalist of that. I'm asleep. I can't do it! Come on. 10, 20 damage.
[00:18:54] He is out! He is sleeping, and then suddenly he's just like... And fainted. And then it's like... Little crosses on his eyes when he faints. Returns, Zing Zang. And I'm back up to full health, because, yeah. You tried your best. All right. Go, Yi! Show her the ninja... The way of secrets. And then a creepy ghost cicada thing comes in, and it's a ninjask. All right. Now, a ninjask is a ghost, so your psychic powers won't work that well.
[00:19:24] Or it'll work, but it won't be as effective as a fighting type. So, new... Ninjask isn't a ghost. He's not a ghost? He's bug and flying. Right. It was his... Okay. He is weak to flying, rock, fire, electric, and ice. Son of a bitch. I told you I had this one in the bag. Okay. My other Pokemon is level 17 electric. That's okay. You might have to fight more of your buddy. What experience do I get from defeating Kanchan? Oh, he was level 14? I'm a level 11.
[00:19:54] So... If we need your calculating skills for experience, level 14 versus... And her... She just defeated the level 14 with a level 11. Fucking 8 hit 3, bitches. Okay. She defeated a level what? 14. 14?
[00:20:25] Hmm. You want one? Please. Thank you. Okay. And it was a level 11 she used? Yeah. Her Lapras just kept using Sing. And my... Panchan kept sleeping. I'm just amazed like that. And Panchan just kept sleeping. He wasn't doing much even when he was hitting. He tried his best. 5.94. 4. Okay. So it's over halfway to your next level. How do I know when the level? Your level times 100. That's what experience you're coming for. Oh! So two level... I need...
[00:20:54] So I need 1100. Yeah. Okay. And then when you hit the level... When you hit 1100, all the extra rolls over. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Alright. Cool. Alright. On to Ninjas. Ninjas. He's let out his... Ninjas, who's called Yi. And we gotta roll initiative again. Or do we roll initiative when it's a second monster? Or a second Pokemon comes out? Or... Yeah. Because it's still based off speed. Yeah. What about rolling again? 20? So he's gonna get a 21.
[00:21:24] 11. Because holy shit. Oh yeah. He's got a high fucking speed. Yeah. He's ninja. Oh yeah. So... You go first. Okay. So he's going to use... Alright. So Ninjas is hovering there. And he's going to attack with Furious White. What type of move is Furious White? Normal. It's normal? Okay. It's 12. Natural 20. Alright. He... As fast as this ninja is, he does not get past your lepros. Whoa! Yeah. Alright. Go. Your turn.
[00:21:54] Lepros is gonna hit him with Ice Shirt. Ice Shirt is physical. Is it a normal attack? It's ice. And it's physical. So it'd be a normal attack. Yeah. So... 20 to hit. It's gonna be an 18 to hit. So... 20. Alright. I hit him. Yep. And it is a D4. Is this one right? Yeah. 4. Plus he... So that's physical attack, right? So 4 plus 4. 8. Plus double damage. Plus double damage. So 16.
[00:22:24] Alright. So 16 minus 4 is 7. 31. Thank you. Okay. That was a pretty good hit. I'm proud of my lap race. Yep. Alright. Who goes next? Natural 20. I'm not even gonna roll. He's gonna use Furious White. Furious White. To get back on its feet. Probably about 2 or 3. Yeah. Yes. Oh no, no. We did that one... Probably it'll be coming in today. Essentially. Okay. So that's...
[00:22:54] 2 plus 1. So it'll be 3 attacks. 3 attacks? Yeah. So essentially... There's a coin. Or square. I'll just do a D4 and negate 3 or 4s. That's 2 plus 6. That's... Okay. That's gonna be 8 first attack. That's gonna be 7 on the attack. And then it's gonna be 8. So 8, 7, and 8. How... Okay. How does it work? It's a Fury attack. So it has multiple attacks. Yeah.
[00:23:23] So it's a D4 plus 1. So he... I roll... I got 3 attacks on you. Okay. That hit. That actually connected. And then it's a D2 plus your bonus. And I rolled... I was just counting the 2s and the 1s. Okay. On this. So it's how much total damage? It would be a 7... 2, 7, and 8. So... I can get you here. What is that? 2, 7, and 8? 14. It's 24. 24. Yeah. So you did 24 damage on you.
[00:23:55] Okay, Lapras. We get a... Yeah, so he uses... ...mofo. ...mandibles and whatnot. Just like parodi moves on your... Okay. Lapras is going to... ...use Sing. Mm-hmm. Oh, she's using that move again. Don't listen to her, Sakata. Do I count that as normal attack or special attack? Special. Special? Okay, I thought so. So it's 21. Is it... Yeah. No, it's... It doesn't have special or physical because it's just...
[00:24:23] It's a normal type attack though. It's just a hit. Yeah, well, I think it's normal. Well, 20 or 21. I counted as normal because we were counting as normal last game. Okay, so 20. Yeah. And I think... 12, so... 12 plus 4, so 16 to... I got 20 to hit. All right, so you... So he's asleep. Okay, so... So... Yeah, he just lost. He misses his first turn. And my turn. I'm going to use A-shirt. Oh, I forgot to have the bonus. Hold on. Okay, so he's below me.
[00:24:53] I'm doing good. Okay, so roll to see if he wakes. He does not. Yes. So he's still sleeping. He's dreaming of something. He's an insect. He's an insect. He's having a nightmare of an ice age right now. Okay, so he's asleep. So I'm hitting him, right? What did you get? I got 8. Yeah, yeah, you got him. Yeah, because I just hit the roll at base without any bonuses. So... 3... 14. So he's down to 5. Down to 5? Yeah. Okay, wow.
[00:25:26] Bao Jing is not looking for his sweating bullets right now. Frickin' cheap. I'm not eating... I'm so troveling him. So I guess, yeah, he tries to... Roll to see if he's awake. That's good. He wakes. He's like... And just going to... Oh shit, I'm almost dead. He's going to use leech light. Okay. So he shoots... So he's hitting. He tries to go... Is it a special or is it physical? It's physical because he has to actually... Is it physical? Yeah. 18... Plus 5... 23.
[00:25:56] The block. Yeah, he's... Not hitting me? 12. I got a 12, so yeah. He tries to... He tries to bite you. He tries to bite Lapras, but it just fails. He bites the shell again. As long as I can hit, he's out. 21. Yeah. That's a 16, so... Hit. And... Pretty well done. 3... 4... 7... 14 damage. He is a bugsicle. It drops to the ground and it's like... Bugsicle, bitches. He returns.
[00:26:26] And... Mikey comes out and just leaps into the center of the stage like... And we have winner! Tamahaki wins! Yeah! And I'll have you roll a spot check. As the crowds are going wild and whatnot, I'll have you roll a spot hidden or a search check. A spot check is wisdom? Yeah. Which is... Which dice? It'll be a d20, yeah. Okay. You just use that as a bonus. I just add the bonus. So 9 plus 2 is 11. Alright, I'll say it's not that difficult to find.
[00:26:55] You spot a familiar face in the crowd. Looking at the... Watching the arena. It's your cousin, Nanook. Oh god. You're not exactly on good terms. Okay. So I'm just gonna kind of... So just... Yeah. You just notice that as the crowd is going to be... Nod and walk away. He's just been watching the whole thing. Now, is Lapras healed between battles? Like, injured Pokemon, are they being healed between... Turn and battle? Yeah. So she's back to... There's currently an intermission. You can... Okay. I'll say that there's like... The Poke Center comes over and like... Let's you heal your Pokemon.
[00:27:25] Okay. There. Alright guys. Bao Jing walks up to you and just kind of like bows and... I'm gonna nod my head. Bao, bao. Smile and walk away. Pokemon is. Alright, so... Tamahaki is the winner of that match. Woo! Can you give me many stats, babe? Yeah. Working on it right now. Alright. What is Joe and Dashforth doing during this first battle? Go. Well, I'm playing with my joltik. Hmm? Okay. So...
[00:27:53] We've basically been shooting the breeze the whole time. Okay. Over tea and playing with the joltik. It's like yay big! It's adorable! It can fit in my pocket. It's so fluffy! It can fit on my hat. Nice. It can like run circles around the brim. Yeah. So Joe... Actually, you know, I'm gonna say that Mikey comes in and is like... And we're just gonna have a talk with the new competitors. So tell me, Joe is it... How are you feeling about your next match?
[00:28:21] Well, it's my first match. So I'm hoping it's gonna go well. Well, optimism is definitely golden. And you, Baron Dashforth. Splendid! Splendid! How do you think your match is gonna go? Oh, I see. Alright, well, carry on. Walks back up there. I figured the question was implied that he wouldn't have to ask me. Fair enough. Alright. You're using your joltik like a yo-yo? Why not? Fair enough. Hey guys, you're up, right? Yeah, you guys are up.
[00:28:50] Time for the slaughter! Sorry, Mom. Alright, so... As you guys walk into the arena... The crowd is cheering. And Mikey is in the center. It's like... Alright, now on to the next battle! On one side, we have the Baron Dashforth! And now for something totally unfair. And now for something completely unfair.
[00:29:20] And in the other corner, a rancher named Joe. Is it Joe? What's your last name? I don't care. Huh? Your last name is Jenkins? Okay. We have... In this corner, from parts unknown... The Green Bastard! Otherwise known as Joe Jenkins! Who's optimistic about his first match! Good for him! Woo! Yeah, yeah. A single audience member is just like... Woo!
[00:29:49] How patronizing! Now, now, folks. Let's keep this clean. Since you're battling, I'll be helping. Release your Pokemon! Come on! You guys can... So, did you guys figure out who was gonna go first? Yep. Okay. Makes sense. Big work! That was my umbrella! Alright. So, Squirtle gets released. So, I'm not bitches? What is Baron releasing? Jules! You're my old lady. Oh, we have a new one!
[00:30:19] We have a mysterious Pokemon! Oh, what the hell is that? We have an enigma in our missusies! That looks like the hundreds of fossils found across cave systems in this region. Is that the fabled Omanyte? I think it's an all-star! No, no, clearly it's an Omanyte! Ready? Battle! And then he leaps out of the... He dives off your region. As always!
[00:30:47] But the arena is too big so just her skin's in the distance. Pretty much. That's what he does. Yeah, pretty much. He just wipes off his nice white gown and just kind of walks off. Alright. Go! So, roll your initiatives. See if you go first. Alright. So do I add to it. Speed! No, it's actually still by the couch. Eight! Eight! Yeah! Yeah!
[00:31:17] Mine was by the couch last, so if that's when it was moved, then I'd get one of the hours. That was actually yelling and screaming. Yeah. I'm not the eager. Maybe? I don't know. Alright. Miles, where's your plate? That's my plate. I guess it doesn't matter. Yeah, I don't need one. I don't need a slice. Oh, for a duel's? You don't want one? No. Uh, nine. You got a what? Eight. Eight. Nine. Okay, so you're going first. You got an eight. The Omanyte apparently is going first. I did not expect that. Okay. Neither did I. Doomed. Thank you.
[00:31:49] Doomed! The doom that came to Jenkins. In the background. Would that bother you? What? I said if I was finding this background. I actually wouldn't appreciate it. Yes, it would be a distraction. Sorry. I'd like to see you. Oh, big squirts take a while to warm up. Wow. We're going strong here. Chug. Chug. We're going for pure class in this game, it seems. All right.
[00:32:18] I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. All right. Roll your dice before we all have animisms. And boom goes dynamite. Scald. That'd be a 14. Okay. What am I rolling for? You're rolling to defend. So what type of attack is it? Special. So you got to roll your special. 16. So you defend then. No, no. 17. Yay! You defend against the scalding water that shoots out from Mamanite. It's a pretty simple game. I don't even think.
[00:32:47] Have you actually fought in this game? Nope. Wow. This is really your first battle. Fantastic. All right. Tail whip. Is that an actual attack? Yep. Yeah. Lower the bones defense. Okay. So is that. Oh, you still have to actually hit with that? Or is that an instant? I have no idea. Tail whip. Do you have to roll for a tail whip? So it's instant. It's defense minus one.
[00:33:13] So your Omanyte suddenly has minus one to its defense. The bonus. Its regular defense? Yeah. To the bonus. Just the bonus. There we go. All right. This time's attack. Hmm. Big money, big money. All right. Let's try this again. Jules, scald. And don't miss this time. 16. Plus 7. 16. Excellent. I blame the paper. I'm saying it over here.
[00:33:42] So Jules is having turtle soup for that. That'd be 13 damage. 13. Now it's a water type. So I don't know if you're actually immune to that. Or if it's just like. Yeah, it's water versus water. It'd probably be half. Would it be half damage, Eric? If it's strong against something defensively, it's half. Yeah. All our defenses should be listed. I don't know if I did mine right. All right. Yeah, so it's half. Squirtle. Against what? Water attack. I got it. Against what attack?
[00:34:12] A water attack? Yeah. Water isn't strong against water. Yeah. No, we knew that. It's normal. Yeah, it's half. Half. Is it half? Yes, it's half. Okay. All right. So you get. So. However, I do get a percentile roll. 30% chance of burn. Oh, scald. Doomed. It's a water roll in disguise. All right. So how much damage am I taking overall? Is it half round down? It was 13 damage. Half is. Half always round down. So six.
[00:34:41] He was rounding up during our battle. You beat both my Pokemon. I whooped their asses, but still. Now it's a 30% chance for burn. Do I count the lower 30% or the upper 30%? We always consider it an upper 30%. That'd be a 14. Yep. Wish it was the lower 30%. Do not burn this up. All right. All right. Take that. Bubble. Okay.
[00:35:10] It seems Squirtle is going strong. Defending. Withstanding against not one, but two skull attacks. Is that a special attack? Yep. Special attack. And now he seems to be using bubble beam. Or a bubble attack. He seems to be foaming at the mouth. We've got a rabbit Pokemon. Security. Someone put him down. All right. Because that's a 20. And I don't have anything written down for my bubble move. Ah. Put him down. Really?
[00:35:40] Can you look up the attack average for... If it helps, I have a revolver. I can put him down for you. That'll be quick and painless, I assure you. Bubble is a D2 special. Okay. So it's a D2 plus special attack. All right. So you've got to roll a D2 for down. Because he actually... Oh, wait. Does he actually damage? He actually... Oh, wow. That special defense isn't actually all that high.
[00:36:07] That rabbit Squirtle is actually doing some damage against that Omanyte. Two! Hey, max damage. So five. Five. Yep. All right. So, yeah. Now do you have any... I guess that's normal damage. If that's a water attack? Yeah, but his is part rock. I have no weakness to water. Which one is it? Which Pokemon? I have four weaknesses. None of them are water. There's Pokemon. Okay. Omanyte. Omanyte? Yeah, Omanyte's not water. Omanyte's not water. Yeah. All right. All right, then. All right. So... Well, let's do this the old-fashioned way, then.
[00:36:37] Horn attack. You leap into the... I could. Oh, nice. You got a 20. Natural 20. That is one crafty Squirtle. Yeah, I don't actually beat that by adding my bonuses to it. For my second Pokemon. I could. I'm a fighting type. Tackle. Oh. Um, yeah. I do roll to that. Yeah, you do. Ooh. Yeah, you can roll a one. One is a fail. Yeah, it rolls a perfect... Okay, fair enough. Nine. Yep.
[00:37:07] Ooh. There's a one in 20 chance. Both dodge flows. That's gone wrong for you. Fair. Fair. This is an intense battle. Sure is, John. What? I was like, so Ed, what do you think about this? Well, let me tell you something. I've been working the bar for 10 years. That's a move. I'll move. Let's see if it pays off. Oh, that's rotten. It got lower. What is it? Three. Yeah. Let's see here. That'd be a... An eight. Sorry. No. That'd be a ten altogether. Defense. So, yep.
[00:37:37] Special defense. All right. All right. Tackle. Round two. Jules, we need to take you to a firing range. 17. Brought to you by the Pokemon Stadium Network. Yojo. That doesn't exist yet. Sorry? 17. For what? Tackle. My regular. Nine. That'd be a 17. That goes to the player. Roll again. Yeah. Both. Roll. Yeah. Roll again.
[00:38:06] Man, whoever wins this terrible is going to get an endorsement deal. Terrible. Hey! One better. Woo! All right. Sweet. What do you... Is that for you to defend or attack? Attack. What are you attacking with? Tackle. All right. Oh, he actually got a hit in this time. Sweet. Max damage to seven. Ooh, that's gotta hurt. But the question is, who got hurt? Let's see. I gave me down 30. Well, considering Omnic's got a tentacle and squirtles forehead.
[00:38:37] It's doing it. Aw. Look how cute it is. Struggling makes me. Oh, God. Wait, so, so wait. Omnic's tentacle used heart attack? Yeah, horn attack. What did you think it was? Aw. All right. Omnic going next. Omnic uses drill. I wish. He went in dry. Aw.
[00:39:08] Let's try another blast of steam. Oh, go. Skull. Robin. There we go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that hits. Oh, looks like Joe will be bringing home turtle soup. Delicious. By the way, folks. Nine damage. Should we surround that down to four? Yep. By the way, folks, this tournament has been brought to you by Ed's Tavern. Ed's Tavern. You won't find a better dish of squirtle soup than Ed's Tavern.
[00:39:41] I'm now canonizing that Ed's Tavern has a turtle soup. Even if my luck is bad, I'm just going to win through sheer amount of HP. Tackle! Man, if I win this tournament, I can just imagine my door's meal. Yeah. Nope. The guild. Hi, I'm Colin von Graveljack. When my Pokemon just started performing at their best, I gave them a taste at the back of my hand. Get back to work! Oh, fuck! Except for you, Teddiers. My favorite. Slap your Pokemon around, folks. It's for their own good.
[00:40:11] Try another one attack. Oh, God. Most of my moves are defensive, so... Alright, go. What do you got? Oh, Jesus. So 17? Yep. Frap. Yeah, that is. Oh, man. Looks like squirtle's about to get spiked. That'll be 8. Normal damage. Hop in there. No. Oh, squirrel's not looking too good on this one, Ed. No, it's... I've never... In my 30 years of looking in... Yeah, I used to picture like all my, like, looming over...
[00:40:40] ...see in Pokemon battles, I've never seen anything this pathetic. Terco! Joe's gotta be hurting, morale-wise. Pen-eyed. Indeed. That's an epic success. Who would like the last slice of pizza? I still haven't touched my second one yet. Yeah, sure. I'm just spectating. Cook him alive, Jules! Ah! Ah! Ah-ha! Hang on. Special defense. 12. Damn, that'd be a 9 together all for me. I had a lot to my special attack. I just rolled low for it. Tackle!
[00:41:10] Ah! Ah! Are you alright over there? You're not having much luck. Lucky little buddy. Huh. I expected that to roll. Yes. Whatever. Did you decide what you were doing? Yep. Stalled. 9. Defense. Ah! No, that's 13. Yeah. I add a 7 onto that, so... That's a 21. Is that to attack? Defend. Yeah. What'd you attack him with? Scald. Okay.
[00:41:39] I want to see if I can get that burn chance going. Oh, man. All this scalding the Squirtle is making me hungry. Hungry for Ed's Tavern's special Squirtle Soup. Get it for only $2. $2? That guy's really expensive. That's a ridiculous price. But it's worth it. No. No, it'll be like 3. Get it for 5 cents. Can't go wrong. It's Tavern. Are we sure it can't be the lower ones? Because that's what I'm rolling on my percentiles. Tail whip. We tend to go with the higher one. Bigger numbers mean more success.
[00:42:12] Alright. So, uh... I guess you're attacking now? Yep. You can take me out in two turns. I'm going to use forceful entry. Assuming I hit. It's super effective. He won't be walking for a month. I'm going to give him a supporting chance. Withdraw. I'm going to gain one of my defense back. Ooh, a bold move. But the audience is getting... We'll see if it pays off for him, Cotton. But the audience is getting antsy. They want to see a bloodbath.
[00:42:42] Unfortunately, Jules is getting bored, so he's retired. Man, you should have me come on as a guest at Sir. Next. It's an announcer. Come on, Grable Jack. If you actually win this and get sponsored, you will be coming. Yeah. That would be awesome. Win this, get sponsored, be an announcer at all the other tournaments. Skull. I'm going to talk like Macho Man Randy Savage for all of it. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It seems like how he's announced. His co-announcer right now is Ed. From Ed's Tavern. Natural defend because it's 20. I'm sure Mikey will... What?
[00:43:11] Sorry, what? It's a natural defend. Yeah, that's a natural defend. Okay. Sweet. Damn. Damn. That would be my bonuses. It's Mr. Tor. Despite all odds, Squirtle defended against that attack. Definitely need to teach Jules how to aim. Tackle. Hey, not bad. Hey, it's a hit. Clunk. Four. Start showing him the power of steam, Danit. Uh-huh. Oh. Special defense. Eleven.
[00:43:41] That'd be a ten for me. Bomber. Yep. Ed, is it getting hot in here or is it just me? It's like, I'm sweating bullets out here. Yeah. I'm sure the audience is feeling the same way. From all this steamer basically turning the place into a sauna. Tackle. It's a shame your sister Edwin is not here. What did you say about my sister? Well, what do you add to your tackle? Three. Okay, yeah, I add seven. All right. It's weird. The horn attack is hitting more often, but I have less of a chance to actually hit with it.
[00:44:12] Jules just likes to get physical. Let's try that, shall we? Nope. Nope. Missed his headbutt. All right. So... Well, that was just a horrible fumble on Jules. Yeah, seriously. I don't know. I almost thought we were going to see a fucking stripper redshirt duel. Yeah. Omanyte misses. Squirtle takes damage anyway. So, you roll. Tackle. Yeah.
[00:44:42] That'd be an 18 altogether. Mine's a 16. Excellent. Two. Scald. Woo! Oh. Yes. You've just been scalded. Crap. Max damage. Oh fuck. Which is? That'd be 15. No, I'm going to roll your round. So, cut that match, that'd be 7. Your percentile for both. Oh yeah, no way I can forget that. Squirtle's down. 39. Nope. Nope. Balls. Has he painted yet? No. Almost. Oh wow, he's not looking good.
[00:45:12] No way. Tackle! You're allowed to forfeit. He's perfect for my squirrel suit. Maybe I'll have to talk to this Jules after the game. Yeah. Squirrels are a little bit hard to come back. Because of the tentacles, he's wobbling all over the place a bit too much. Hard to pin down. It's a boxing technique. Tied it to him myself. A writhing tentacle? Tentacle? Hey, defend! Stop missing. Dald. You've got to be on PP by now.
[00:45:44] I'm just glad we weren't playing by those rules. Yeah. Tackle! Damn it! I keep getting threes! Omanyte has no moves left. Omanyte uses struggle. Heart attack! 21. 21. No, that's a 19. Yeah, and this girl's not looking good, but he's just live as fuck. Tackle!
[00:46:15] Aw. Aw. They keep missing each other. It's like watching Kirk and Spock fight. Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss. Heart attack! Hit it! Yes! Is this the third time that's happened? Natural one, man. Natural one. Watching two storms duel. Yeah. Yeah. We haven't even gotten that kind of Pokemon yet. It's a good chance.
[00:46:46] So, 14 versus 15. Aw. As battered and beaten as that squirtle looks, he's still kicking. Wow. This is a long battle. Come on, you guys. Make it count. The audience is tense. Make him into turtle soup. It'd be delicious for a night. Aw. Hey! Watch his different voice. Jules, come on! Tail whip. Okay. God. See, it would make more sense if that was an attack, like, it diminished its accuracy as
[00:47:15] an attack. I could just withdraw to get it back. Yeah. Yeah. Just finish it. We're gonna turn this whole place into a sauna. Everybody's gonna be walking in the house for like 50 pounds. By the time we're through. God knows I have. Aw, it's a hit. Scald. Finally! You're not even gonna get the burn-up. I'm sorry, old bean. Cast it into the fire! Yeah. Uh, that'd be 13. Yep. Squirtle is down. After a... Squirtle face!
[00:47:45] There's a shower of scalding water on it, and it just drops. And it's kind of steaming. Almost like it's ready for the fire. For the stew. Delicious. I'd say squirtle return. I'm suddenly feeling hungry. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Poké Ball's hot. Ha! Alright, so what's your next Pokémon? Toothie! Go! Squirtle has been defeated. And it seems that Joe is releasing a... Really? A Diglett? Ha! That's a bold move. Ha! Ha!
[00:48:15] Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Come over to his Tavern and have ourudent Metal Wren and have our delicious Diglett Kebabs. You can call a Pokémon and send it to another Western. Yeah! Ha! We have to do initiative again. Yeah! That's fine. I'll have to do an initiative anyway. What are you releasing? Ha! Ha! And Jules Rado.
[00:48:45] Second. Ground against ground. This should be an interesting battle. Perhaps the Cubone can hit anything. Is that the Cubone that added Warpain to himself? Very bold mockery attack. Tail it. Jerk. You had it coming. You had it coming. That's the defense, right? Tail. Minus one to your regular defense.
[00:49:15] And that can only happen until it goes down, what, six times? And I can only assume that Diglett does not have a tail. No. No tail. No tail. Growl. Growl is minus to attack? Yep. So basically, nulls you. You did. It's actually fairly effective against Cubone. He doesn't have anything to restore his attack, unfortunately. So Cubone tail slaps a bitch and then...
[00:49:41] And then his growl is enough to actually intimidate Cubone for a bit. Oh, weird. The brown lump with a tooth. This is definitely a pint-sized brawl. It's not that intimidating. It's like, I don't make the rules, I just work here. I don't make the rules, I just live in this world. Just head butt him. That's terrible. That's an eight. That's a six. You hit.
[00:50:12] You have no defense? You took out my one point. So can I actually push him into negatives? Because that would be awesome. I don't know. You're the DM. Yeah, I would allow it. Actually, no, hang on. I could just cripple him essentially. No, no, yeah. Okay, so damage. That doesn't happen in the game. That is six. Okay. Clunk.
[00:50:42] Wow, that was one... Man, I felt that. Up in the stall here. It's like whack-a-mole. I haven't seen that much whack-a-mole in... or whack-a-digling since I went to the carnival in the 90s. 1890s? Yeah, yeah. Scratch! How was that carnival, by the way? Oh, it was fun. Son of a... Oh, wow. That's a 19. And I really doubt you only have a plus one. You would be correct.
[00:51:11] I have a plus five. Ah, boo. Defense. Bone club. Aw. That's a... Yeah, that'd be a seven on my part. Whoop! Goes underground. Yeah. Goes underground. And is never seen again. Yeah, Diglett actually has Dig, doesn't he? Uh, he doesn't know. No, not yet. Seriously? He has a natural burrowing, but he doesn't have the moved. Weird. She'll get it as a TM. Yeah, she'll get it. Although he learns it on his own eventually.
[00:51:42] Oh, that was a... That looked like a beautiful swing from Cibone. But it... To no avail. Nice. How? How? Diglett doesn't even have... He has no visible claws. How does he scratch? Yeah. Cibone is just standing there confused. He's like... He's been scratched. He's been scratched. Three damage. Is it a psychic type? Psychic scratch. Sorry, how much? Three. Yeah.
[00:52:10] Come on, stay optimistic, Joe. You're just like, you know what? Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Who the ass? I'm out of here. He just drops the table flip. So, like in the cartoon, can we consult a Pokedex? Figure out what they... No. Okay, damn. There is no Pokedex, except for your book. Well, exactly. You're not pulling out your book to... No. Ds. D-I. There we go. All right. The game's going... The battle's going on. Yeah. Despite how slow it seems to be going. Yeah.
[00:52:37] I hope they have some, like, appropriate carnival-themed music here, because I'm going to use Bone Club again. Ah. Yes. Four. Defend. Swing and a miss. Man, that was another beautiful swing, but no miss. Or no miss. Scratch. Damn. Diglett might actually win this. Yeah. Yeah, that doesn't diggle it. Max damage. Six. Oh, Diglett whips out his claws from nowhere and scratches Diglett. Cubone. That makes no sense.
[00:53:06] And yet he has it. He's using his tooth. He's got a sound tooth. That which can be seen cannot be unseen. Drive him back into his burrow. With a headbutt. Ah, that hit. Excellent. Clunk. And Cubone just grabs him by both shoulders. Shoulders? And just whack. Ah, minimum damage. Four. Ah. Oh, that wasn't as effective as the first time. Just like my mother.
[00:53:36] Wait, what? Ed, I don't want to know. You've got to show up in the stands. DMI! Scratch! Crap. Cool. Very, very true, audience. Although that brings up... By the way, be sure to head over to the guild offices and pick up your own TMs. All right, Cubone. Let's see if your training has paid off. Earthquake. Ah, 19. Literally. Just 19. 19. Yeah, and that would be a 21.
[00:54:06] All right. He's just going to crush the earth around, Cubone. Or around Diglett. Ah, of course he rolled low damage on it. Uh, six. Oh. Diglett is hurt. He is. What? Whoa. Okay. Thank God for the new structural foundations we've built on this thing. Is this one mine? Yes. Oh, that Diglett is looking bad after that earthquake attack. I don't know if he's going to lose it. Since when did Cubones have earthquake?
[00:54:33] Well, you see, audience, we have, uh, you can purchase TMs for your Pokemon at the guild offices. Because, really, if you can buy Moose for your Pokemon, I have them learn one's natural. Takes too long. Scratch. 13. For some reason my die isn't actually rolling, but, yeah, uh, go for it. You hit. It's a four. I don't know if he's going to make it, man. I'm sorry. You're still in the double digits, I'm sure.
[00:55:03] Oh, yeah, I am. I'm aware. I'm just being a dick. All right. All right. This is the... Possibly... All right, this again. Possibly the fight... The one that finished. This is your primary weapon, Cubone. Swing! Hit him with your bone. Swing away, Cubone. Swing away. Finally. I rolled a 19. You know what? I'm not even going to... Yeah, don't even roll damage. You, Cubone, swings. Rolling an aim with a six. And it's a beautiful strike. And there goes Diglett, shooting across the ring! Pass the... Over the audience.
[00:55:32] And into the wall. Ooh, that's gotta hurt. Damn. I may have to talk to this Joe fella about acquiring his downed Pokemon for some minutes. Cubone is running around the stadium. And the crowd is cheering. He's playing the baseball music. And the crowd goes wild as Cubone is the victor!
[00:56:01] No question is, what under the hole? Flying too fast for us to see. Yeah. He just slidded to the wall and then fell to the ground. So yeah, you go to recover your Diglett. It's sufficiently fainted on the side of the wall. And Mikey comes out and is like, And the winner is Baron Von Grable... Baron Dashforth. Baron Dashforth. I'm sorry, I had a bit of a seizure there. Baron Dashforth.
[00:56:29] The winner of that match is Colman Von Grable, Jack. He wasn't even in that match. That's how good I am, bitches! Baron Dashforth is the winner of round two. Spiffing! All right. And we will have to have a little bit of intermission while we start paving off the grounds after the earthquake attack. Shouldn't take more while long. My champs! And champs just start coming and saying...
[00:56:58] Just start beating down the ground to make it a little bit more even. Yeah. All right, so who is next? Rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble. Yeah. Who do we got for next? So she got experience. My turn. All right, so... Well, fortunately, I kind of out-leveled him by a bit, so I'm probably not getting much. Well, you're definitely not getting much. Yeah, so his was... Yeah, d***. Yeah, d***. Yeah, d***. Yeah, we'll do the levels first. What is... What level was Squirtle?
[00:57:28] Seven. Seven. And Diglett? Five. And versus an Omni? What level was Omni? Fifteen. And Cubone? Eleven. Oh, God. There really was one-sided. And yet those battles went on forever. Yep. Dice are against me. It's my lot in life. To be fair, it made very entertaining commentary. Wow. From Ed and... Ed, Ed, Ed, uh, Mikey and, uh, and, uh, that other random character that b*** kept putting throwing on. Throwing into the...
[00:57:57] I'd be surprised if I wasn't taking this out and like, you do some good entertainment. Actually, Ed's coming over to you and it's like, hey, buddy, um, listen, uh... How'd you like to be a heel? Your Pokemon, um, they're not doing too good. Um, how about I reimburse you and, uh, I'll just... No. Get a 50 count of them, uh, when I make this soup and dig it into a bomb. Hmm. While sounding very delicious. They're already fainted. We can do this. Squirtle? Biglet? Okay, Omni. I'm in shock.
[00:58:27] Omni got 109. Oh, wow. Come on, I think. I'm going to say no. All right, see, Zilf. Hey, come over by the tavern. I'll buy you a drink. I'll be... All right. You need... You need all the morale. I'm watching. Oh, my God. 76. Wow. Yeah, you only got, like, 45% of the experience that you should have won of those. Jeez. Oh, man. Just think of the experience I would have gotten. Yeah. I could have loved this Pokemon.
[00:58:57] Maybe you should have been training them instead of just, you know, building a ranch. Just saying. Then you have the Kate, the face of Comlin von Gravel jackwalking them. Yeah, okay, yeah. Yeah, so, again, Mikey leaps onto the stage and is like, and now we have our new track. And then you leap onto the stage with equal flamboyancy and abundance and posture. And just, like, land beside him. He's like, whoa. Good show. I like your style. Except I wouldn't be that watching. Leap onto the stage and suplex him.
[00:59:26] He's just, like, taking it all in stride. Oh, yeah! Gets up, like, just brushes himself off. Doesn't even look hurt at all. But it's also hard to see because he doesn't, you can't see his face under the mask. It's like one of those comedy masks. Oh, yeah. And it's like, all right. Now, just please come over to your side. We'll get this all underway. We'll get the carnage. Now we've got a real game going.
[00:59:49] And then the shadowy figure, a stone-faced shadowy figure comes onto the arena on the other side. And in this side, we have Nanook Tomahawkys. We seem to have two Tomahawkys here. We have Nanook Tomahawkys from the Gamidus tribe. The mysterious and enigmatic tribe that lived to the north. And on this side, we have the great Conlon Von Grablejack, who hails from... Oh, yeah!
[01:00:18] Who came to prospect and get his fame. And won his toted aisle in a gambling match and decided to give this a shot. Roll the dice. No. And it's like, how do you know that? But no. He pretty much announces both of you guys. All right. And then, yeah. Nanook is going to unleash his Abra. It's Abra. So Abra comes up. Oh, he's got a psychic type. An Abra. What does Conlon have?
[01:00:47] What does Conlon bring to the field? Conlon brings out Growlithe. I don't have a name for Growlithe yet, unfortunately. Oh, Growlithe. Living on the edge. In this fire-banded town. I like it. Really? All right. Ready and battle! And then he leaps off the stage, off the arena again. And skids to the side. And the person who's a flop and pops up. Nanook just kind of looks like Stoneface. He's not even saying anything. He's just practically a statue.
[01:01:16] And his Pokemon is just kind of doing something. So. His Pokemon. So, 17. And that's... Shit. That's a 25. I'm seconded. All right. Because I don't know what Facade exactly does. I'm just going to say he does Facade. And I'll describe it because I have no idea what the fuck it does. Are you actually now, let's see. And two rolled. Use Facade. You're fucking kidding. That's a... 16. For real?
[01:01:45] It's an 8 bonus. Special attack, right? And that's... No. Facade is physical attack. Physical attack? Okay, right. Okay, sorry. Then that's... Okay, that's a little bit better then. That'd be 11. 11? I'm betting on... Okay. Yeah, you go up to one of the... Oh, fuck beans. That's a 10. You go up to one of the bar girls or something like that. And you say, oh, there's much money down. How much are you putting down? Um... Probably a... And then I'll just roll a deep percentile after him to see how much was in your favor. Okay. In terms of audience and stuff. All right.
[01:02:16] Yeah, I got a 10 to defend. He's doing damage. Okay. So, a T6 plus 3. So, 7. 7, and that's normal, right? Yeah. So, he just kind of like sucker punches you with a facade attack. I'm putting down my life savings. 20 bucks. Okay. All right, you put down 20 bucks. Wow. Um... Um... I'm just going to take this. And then he runs to the nearest safe near the bar area and puts it in there quickly. That's a lot of money. All right. Fair bit. I'll use a button.
[01:02:46] Now he's our ultimate. Uh, 17. Oh, for fuck's sake. He defends. I know my bonus isn't bad. Hi. Uh... It's gonna be a... I defends. Okay. So, he tries using facade and it doesn't work. What are you using? Bite. You bite him. Sweet. Is that a 10? Yeah. That's, uh... 8 damage. All right, you chump down on him and it's not pleasant. Hold on a second. He's trying to like... It's like when a burglar or someone gets hit by a guard dog.
[01:03:15] It's just on his arm. Oh, wait. That doesn't even matter because he... What? He attacks first so I can't make him flinch. Okay. All right, so... Bullshit. Shit. All right. 14. 14. Uh, 16. All right, he tries to use his facade, doesn't work. I think that's a hit. Yep. That's a 12. Okay, so... What did you get him? Did you get him before? You got him before, right? Did you actually attack him before? What? Did you actually do damage before?
[01:03:45] It was 7, right? Yeah, I did, uh, 8. 8 damage. I did 8 damage before. Okay. Hang on, I gotta grab a calculator. 7 is quite odd. Very vulgar. Oh, shit, yes. I would get... That's actually, uh... That's actually 24 damage. Jesus! Uh, because bite is a dark type attack. Oh, and they're... I didn't realize that bite was a dark type. So wait, what about the, uh, the last bite? We already rolled it into 7.
[01:04:12] Standard rule is if you miss it in a turn, that's what it is. Okay. Damn. Um, okay, yeah, the Abra is not looking good. You've, like, getting him in the neck. He's gouging blood right now. Your blood's squirting out. He tries to use facade. And I defend it. And he's gonna go for another bite. 70s. Okay, so that was... What's your special... What's your defense bonus? That was 2, so... 19. 19? That's a 21 to hit. He bites him again. And... Om nom nom nom.
[01:04:42] That's, uh, 14 damage. He's using the Abra as a chew toy. Exactly. It's like, uh, Mikey's just like, Ooh! Man, that was a quick, surprisingly striking, quick battle. Maybe we should have had cadaver guns. Um, he... And he's down. He just throws... Like, he's just, like, whipping him around and then throws him to the feet of, uh, of, um, Nannuk. And Nannuk's just like, like, again, Stoneface just, like, puts his Pokeball, gets it, like, puts it in the draw, and then puts in the new one. Okay. And then it's like, what will Nannuk release next?
[01:05:12] And then he releases it, and it's a Sableye. Oh, Sableye. It's like an impish ghoul... It's like an impish ghost type. I'm having good money. Dude, it wasn't until I looked down at my sheet and I went... That says dark. Dark. Holy shit. I'm fucking psyched. Oh my god, I better double check this. Yeah. Can you just let me know what, uh... Oh, fuck, he's gonna get raped. What's, uh, what's Sableye, uh, in terms of, like, it's ghost, uh, what? It's, uh, ghost, uh, dark ghost.
[01:05:41] Okay, it's a dark ghost type. Qun? You can always change which Pokemon is out. Uh, no, I'm gonna leave Growlithe out. Or wait, uh, what level did you Sableye was? Ten. Ten? Yeah, I think I'm probably gonna send Totodile out. Yeah, I'm gonna withdraw him and put Totodile in. What will Graveljack release? Totodile! Munchie! I choose you! I choose you! Alright, so, he got, uh, 13 to his mission. Fuck, I got a nine. Okay. He goes first. Yep.
[01:06:11] Um, so he's going to attack with Nightshade. Okay. So. 13 sets a 16. That's special? Yep. 16? Oh, fuck, I only got a 14. Okay, what, is he weak against Ghost? Uh, okay. Uh, in that case, it's just a D10 then. Whereas the other Pokemon... Yeah, no, he's not weak. Yeah, he gets one damage. He does one damage to, uh, Totodile. Moth, can you grab that? Sorry, man. Alright. Okay.
[01:06:42] So Sableye tries using Nightshade, um, it, it does some damage, but not much. It's not enough, it's like a grazing shot. Yeah. Uh, uh, fuck, Totodile has to use Water Gun. Alright. She eats a Torrent of Water against Sableye. I think you're going to hit, it's 18. 18 against 11? I definitely hit. Yeah, that was like a, uh, that's a 16 to attack. Actually, the 16 to attack. I think it's a little higher than it was. Yeah, so you do damage. Ghost Sables aren't against Water, right? No, but they can be hit by it.
[01:07:11] They're not weak against it. Alright, so that was what? Uh, that's, uh, 6 damage. 6 damage, okay, hang on. At least that's what it's looking like so far. So far? Yeah. He's done me 1 damage, I've done 6 damage. It's supposed to be just like creepy, it's actually based off something. There's Torrent of Darkness. He hits. And, uh, he does 5 damage.
[01:07:38] Oh, I include, do I include, um, the bonus as well? No, we decided not. No bonus, because it was a D10. And it's a natural one that low a level. Yeah. Oh, fuck. I don't hit. Unless he rolls a 1. Oh, wait, what's his, uh, special? His special defense is a 4, so he got a 7. 7, fuck, yeah, I only got a... The tournament. Alright, I got a 5 total. Oh, he's got the tournament. Just wait until... Alright, well... Before I've been doing all my scrap work. Alright. Like, experience and everything. So, Nightshade again?
[01:08:08] Yeah, okay. That's gonna be, uh... Yeah, that's gonna be... Hey Savage, good news! 11. 11. We're fighting next. The point goes to the fire, so you defend. Okay, cool. He shoots... And it doesn't do anything. He withstands the blast. 17 and 3. 20. 19 and... That was a special attack? Special, yeah. So, yeah, 23. Fuck. And he's going to unleash another torrent of darkness. It is literally just a battle of both darkness and water. Straight torrents.
[01:08:38] Uh, he hits. Okay. Another 5 points off. Because I have to at least match his roll to defend. So it's just like a torrent of darkness and water. Water goes. And he hits. Yep. Hits again. Another 6. Hit. Just saying. I defend. Yeah. If I match your roll, I defend. Yeah. Okay. Because I imagine he was using Nightshade again. Yeah. Yeah, he's just using Nightshade again. Boom. Um, alright.
[01:09:07] 5, uh, so... Yeah, I miss. Yeah. Okay. 14. That's 18. Yeah, that's 16. Oh, sorry, no, that'd be 17, actually. Yeah, it's... Okay. Oh, fuck. Alright, so another Torn of Darkness hits a Torn down. Fuck off. I missed. Yeah. Wait, no, that was you. That was me attacking. Oh, Nat 20. Yep. So I'm probably boned. Oh, not quite. Not quite.
[01:09:37] How bad's he actually doing? Uh, I probably have two hits left. Shit. Alright. Another defense. I hit. Yep. One. Four. Oh. Okay. Uh, Okay. Gets hit by water. Gets down a bit. Six. That's only gonna be about... I defend. Yeah. That was only nine. 14. And you defend. Yep. That's 18. And you hit. Yep. Five. So, yeah, it's just kind of like, we're just like, really, it's like down, just striking
[01:10:06] blow at each other. You defend, I think. Yeah, that was 14. Yeah, it's only a 13. Okay. Um, I'm pulling Totodile. You're pulling Totodile? Okay. Uh, firing off his fire type, Growlithe. Are you rolling your initiative order? Yeah. Yeah, I think, yeah, we gotta re-roll initiative because it's based off of speed. 15. Uh, that'd be 18. Fuck, he's still going first. Alright, Nightshade against Growlithe. That's gonna be 16. 14.
[01:10:37] That's 8. So, Torn of Darkness hits Growlithe in the side. Yes. Inflicting pain. Oh well. Oh well. And he's defending with a... Is he, what's he using? Is that a bite? Oh, not 20. Bite. Alright. Uh, so... How's I done? That is 18 damage. Hmm? 18 damage. 18 damage. Oof. And he's down. Same. Um, the bite just literally like, cuts him in half and then... Or, yeah, bites him in half. Well, it wouldn't cut him in half. Well, no, no. It bites him in half and then it causes a ghost. Oh.
[01:11:07] And then it just kind of like parts back and then he drops. Alright. And then, uh, again, stone-faced. Alright. Draws. And then he just kind of walks off the, uh, the, uh, walks off the grounds. And, uh, Mike leaps, or Mikey leaps into the, uh, into the center of the arena. And Conlon is the winner! For round four. Who, uh, who did we go with? Hmm? Oh, it was the Irishman, the one. Yeah, the Irishman, the one. Poked eggs. I got nothing better. Steph and Eric. Alright, Eric. Alright, Steph. Your turn. Yep.
[01:11:37] Alright. Also, uh, between rounds, we are letting you guys heal your poke. Yeah, I figured. Okay. Okay, good. I was wondering about that. Yeah, Poke Center has their own portable Eerie machine that just... I imagine the stadium would have its own... Well, remember, it is not really a stadium so much as just an arena. Yeah. Well, it's guild-owned. I would imagine it has its own Poke Center. Yeah, actually, I guess it's... Well, yeah, the Poke Center's right next door. So they just move it over. They just move the machine over. Alright. Open the fucking... Sorry. That is like the third time... Then don't put it on that box.
[01:12:06] I'm buying today. Why are they there? Because I have like eight million fucking sheets because of this... This table's not big enough. We need a larger table. How much is coffee here? I think that was... Yeah, fuck. I think I got another mountain dude. Can you get me a mountain dude? I don't think we... Did you get it? Have a coffee? There was an empty coffee that I had to dispose of the coffee cup. Did you have a coffee? No, I didn't know there was... Because we gave you a coffee. We bought you a coffee. Oh, I didn't know I had a coffee. Yeah, we bought you a double-double. We got coffee for pretty much everything. We can renew it. You don't want it? I'll renew it then.
[01:12:36] I don't mind. The other boxes are at there. Yep. I didn't know I got brought a coffee, so that's probably why there's coffee sitting there. Alright, so what... So, Tomahaki, did you want to have a... Before we go into the next round, and while they're doing this... Sorry. You actually... You're walking up into the arena, and you pass Nook. And Nook kind of just... Did he just get his ass kicked? Yeah. Yeah, he did. Completely. But he's totally not showing any emotion or any sorrow about it or anything like that.
[01:13:05] He just kind of walks past you stone-faced and looks at you... I'm going to make a snarky comment. You've improved since the last time I saw you. Oh, burn! I still have time. Winning this competition is really part of the reason I'm in this town. I'm seeing you after the match. And then he leaves. Or he walks off. That plot thickens. Dun, dun, dun! Okay. I'm really liking Mikey just leaping into the arena and then diving off. Alright.
[01:13:35] Alright, folks. We are down to the next section of the matches. In this side, we have the... One of the... Or a round winner. Two round winners. And in this side, we have... Varen, Vaughn, Grubble, Jack. The crowd roars. And in this corner, we have... We have the witch. I mean, medicine woman. Gisela Tomahawk. And there's actually a couple that...
[01:14:02] Actually, there's a larger number roaring for you. Ready, your Pokemon. Alright, so who's shooting... Who's shooting your Pokemon first? I don't... I'm using the same one regardless of what he puts out. Yeah, I'm using Lappercent. That works well. Alright, so... Dull! You have two ground type. What else am I going to use? Pikachu? How much did I give you? Right. Raichu, sorry. Hang on. Pause the game. Pause the battle. We'll just figure that out quickly. Would you put down $20? Yep.
[01:14:32] Alright, I'm going to roll a D. What Pokemon are you putting in? The odds... I'd say my... The odds were at least 4 to 1, dude. What Pokemon are you trying? 4 to 1? Yeah. Why? Because I keep it up on my Pokedex. Because... It doesn't matter. There would have been a lot of people... I'd say 3 to 1. Yeah, there were a lot of people... I wasn't allowed to look at a Pokedex when I thought... Yeah, because his 1 was a significantly higher level. Yeah, I do, but I wasn't allowed. And really realistically, the type... Why? He should have had the advantage. Ask me, am. Also, your charisma... You were going against... Your charisma really boosted up the crowd in your favor. So they would have been betting on the 3.
[01:15:02] I was doing it the entire game. That has nothing to do with my chances of winning. Fair enough. That's crowd favorites. Totally outside of... He's playing favorites. Outside of bad action. The boobs. It's got to be the boobs. I would say... Yeah, I'd say 3 to 1. Okay. Because it's got to be at least 2 to 1. It is the most common superpower. 2 to 1 is for the guy who has the highest winning. Which should have been Nanook. Okay. It shouldn't have been me. Yeah. Like, he had the better chance. He had the psychic Pokemon. Yeah. And he had the ghost Pokemon. And you only had... Yeah.
[01:15:32] I had a water and a fire. Yeah. Alright, then what would that be in terms of money for you? How much did you bet? 20 bucks. 20 bucks? So he's got 60. Alright, you've got 60 bucks now. Alright. Well done. They hand you your money. I was like... 3 to 1 odds, man. And I'm... I want you to roll a sleight of hand, though. Sleight of hand? Yeah. Or what's the... Sleight of hand, yeah. To put it in your pocket quickly so that nobody notices you're putting all that much money in your pocket. They probably wouldn't pay out 60 to him here.
[01:16:01] He'd get a bank note. He'd get a promissory note. Yeah. So you'd have to go to the bank for it. Okay. Fair enough. And I'm going to bet another 20. Hmm? Yeah, well, it's just like in the Sherlock Holmes movie. We're going to bet another 20. Keeping six bucks on hand out of the parents. I know I'm going to go up against him. Yeah, right. Exactly. All the unsavories they draw. Then I did pretty well against his, even though I lost poorly. So I'm going to bet on the savage. Alright. Alright, so how much are you putting down for the savage? 20. He has good reason.
[01:16:31] How much are you putting down for the savage? 20. He said 20. I'm putting 20 down on that savage. Good God. Anyway, I rolled a natural 20. Okay, so that's for your initiative? Yep. Alright. Well, I can't beat that, so okay. Well, alright. Gisela is using her laparus. What is the Baron using? Jewels, I choose you. Oh, the Omany again. A crowd favorite now. What the fuck is Jewels? Omany. What's an Omany? It's a shelled kraken.
[01:17:00] It's a shelled octopus. Rock and water. Yep. Oh yeah, you were looking for that. Sorry. I wish I could have looked up in my Pokemon fight. Roll me a... And you might be able to quickly roll through your... No, no, no. It's fine. I'll play by different rules. Alright. Even if they're against me. Because you're a man's man. Hmm. Alright. It's a handicap. I'm first, right? Yes. I'm actually going to switch up my Pokemon. Okay, what are you getting? I'm bringing it right to. Alright, so it's going to be like...
[01:17:28] Far more effective against that Pokemon. Hey, excuse me. Just only the Rissileppers. I mean Raichu. Alright then. Now I'll switch out to Cubone. Alright. Seriously? Are we going to start this? Are we? Cubone. I will switch back. You're going to start this shit? Alright, I'm only going to... In this case, guys, I'm only going to allow one switch over. For the first match. For the first part of this match. You have to wait a couple moves before you can end. Yeah. I'm sorry, that's ridiculous. If you guys can't keep doing it. He is the one who's doing that.
[01:17:57] I'm just trying to make it a little bit more fair. Since apparently I'm biased. Hey, Cubone's fought on Pikachu before. I know he's an Indoelectric. It makes sense. I don't need to look at a Pokedex for that. That's pure experience. Yep. Okay, fine. I go first? Mm-hmm. Alright. I'm going to fuck shit up. Potentially. Oh, no I'm not. I don't know. Eric's a nice... My dice are terrible. That's why you need to put them in rum. So, I don't even know what attack you're doing, so I can't add anything to it yet. Mine would be a 10.
[01:18:26] But what kind of attack? Special attack. Okay. So mine would be an 8. Sorry, no. That'd be a 9. So I was hit? Sweet. Yep. Okay. So it is going to be Focus Glass, which is E12. Where's my 12? What's 12? This one? Let's see. What was that? Fighting. What's that? Fighting? Okay. Okay. It was ATM I taught them. Ah. Because Raichu can't learn any more moves.
[01:18:55] Or naturally can't learn any more moves. Okay, if she's going to be using the PokéDix, you can use it. I was using it my entire first battle and you didn't say anything. Ah! No! What if? Which is why I'm going to... I'll accept the handicap. Really? Okay. I'm trying to be nice because I feel bad, but okay. It's right there. No. I'm just going to put it right there. Okay. Okay. So... My pride forbids it. That's a special attack. Because I just now mentioned Gisela just like... Like...
[01:19:24] He's like, go Raichu... No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Damage. Wow. Jesus. That's a hell of a lot. That's a good move for the... I'm not going to attack him with Electric. That would just be like pointless. Man, that was such a shitty turnout for experience or the fuck. We've increased their level.
[01:19:53] Well, it's because I had to divide the experience from Pokémon. Yeah. And they were already of higher level. Alright. You're attacking? Yep. Yeah. Electric. Instead of dividing... Is it special or physical? It is a physical. Is it special? I was taking a percentage of 167. So, apparently an earthquake miss. He jumps. He leaped. Boom. He leaped high into the sky. You even said that Raichu is more like that leaping... That jumping... It is. It looks like the jumping... It hopped... He leaped into the sky.
[01:20:23] Wow. He is just going, going, and he's reached the ceiling, and now he's coming back... And now he's stuck. His tail has gotten stuck. My champ. My champ. Boom. God. Alright. I'm going to hit with Fosu's Blast again. And that is... 24. Raichu is buff. Bravo, 17. Yikes! Um... And that was a... Special defense, right?
[01:20:53] Uh... Yeah, special. 20. Alright, and 12 12 plus 8 20 Jesus And within You had to pull the shit about switching Pokemon Within 5 minutes The witch gets it I mean the medicine will get it I'll take it What will the Baron Use next
[01:21:24] The announcer idiot or something He knows exactly what I have Listen, I'm trying to make this theatrical, alright? Is that what you want? Honey, was that big one At like a pipe or bomb? Yeah, so you're using I've seen real theater Release the Kraken I think it was a pipe $30,000 For this like Bee queen looking Sorry
[01:21:56] What's going on? Alright, so Jules Again Jules comes out So Are we rolling again for initiative? Because it's a new Pokemon And why are you putting that on my table? Totally inconspicely You could fill them up And have them sitting on your fucking kitchen That shouldn't be on the table either But it's better than that Because that's like I like your figurine Chris is trying to wreck my table Chris almost just died He set a can down on my table I got a 12
[01:22:26] And that's why I'm letting her use the rope So they don't want to get killed You go first Okay Sorry, what? We're rolling to see who goes first Because it's a new Pokemon So is he going first? He's going first I rolled a 2 He rolled a 12 There's a clear definition of who won that I'm not going to be too effective unfortunately Let's try Skull Skull Oh god We just got the hot air benton out of the building That's a 19 And is it special or physical?
[01:22:56] Special Special Open the windows again 16 you hit At least he starts off well How could I forget? It's the whole reason I chose that ability Spotlights on everything That'd be a 9 for damage 9? And that's a 60 Solid last So no burn? That's actually No I would need to get above a 90 Well top 30%
[01:23:25] Above a 70 What's above 70? Above 70 Top 30 Right Right Right Okay Thunderbolt He's weak to electric It's a special defense right? Yep Special That is a 26 There's no way you do it on the first one full Like you need to stop Take a break And go at it again 8 And that's 8 Die 8 Not a chance
[01:23:54] That is far too much to me That's having to hurt Yep 8 Max Stand the court Of course Max 16 Plus he's weak to electric So 32 Jesus You're not supposed to know what I'm weak to You jerk And it says May paralyzed Are we doing Like what percentage are we doing Okay Give him a break Okay
[01:24:25] Really we're not Enough of this I'm giving you that I'm giving you that I'm giving you that I'm giving you that I'm giving you that It's 16 Alright fine Give me the chance Fine What percentage is it I don't know what percentage paralyzes The percentage paralyzes A move that may paralyze Is it Which move is it It depends on the move It's Thunderbolt It depends on the move Thunderbolt Basically It just says May paralyze Yeah It's got a percentage chance In the move decks Oh does it Okay I looked Thunderbolt Thunderbolt Yeah
[01:24:56] Oh wait It's not through Dexter What one of the sites Okay I thought so Because I looked at Dexter All it says is It might actually be Bulbapedia And that's Pokemon D listed for I just went for the one That was E Probably 10% That's what it said Right there Yeah Thunderbolt deals damage It has a 10 It's paralyzing So am I doing top 10% Top 10 That's how we roll it So I get it at 90 or higher Yeah So it's my But you're getting it 10 and 9 You should honestly Just roll a D10
[01:25:25] If you roll a 9 or a 0 You're good 95 Yep Called it God Alright so A thundering blast And not only Is he barely decimated Like almost decimated By the blast He's paralyzed So we'll do the same thing As like If he wakes up Even Next round Even He can move on Suddenly starts yelling out the name of this mansion in Ontario
[01:25:52] Since she suddenly starts yelling out the name of this mansion in Ontario Nobody got that I don't get that one What? Fuck you Of some secret organization in the year 2000 I hate that name so much I know I blacked it out So it's still there For them But I blacked it out for you And because it kind of would make sense Because I'm sorry An organization would not allow that Unless they was blacked out It's just fucking funny That's why I was
[01:26:21] Die of course Die of six It'll be Same thing as Die of six On your round Even when he goes odd He doesn't Is that how we want to do it? Evens Okay You're able to You're able to break out of the paralysis It's not Not yet Well it's my turn isn't it? No Yeah That's what I mean I was correcting his Use of words He said break out It just kind of moved So you got odds? Yeah So you're Kind of figured That's my luck I feel bad For hitting and paralyzed Or you can still defend
[01:26:51] Just at base So you'll do 20 Probably not going to go well It's okay She did the same thing To both my Pokemon In the first round With her Singer RDA 16 25 There we go Sing attack I feel bad Like pulverizing With vulnerable But I'm going to use this Lover of the damn Calabari Easiest way It's okay You just got to face Whoever's next 30 Why is Lapras 17 Anyways That's not Lapras It's Raichu Raichu Raichu That's the level
[01:27:21] I caught him at Wow It's Cheeks a third Alright so Is he down For what How much damage Was he 30 Yeah Alright And Out leaps Mikey And he's just like And Match over Wow That was quick I'm sorry Baron Better luck Next Tournament And Giselda Is the Winner Of this round Alright So
[01:27:52] Versus another NPC Versus the Irish Is there an NPC Yeah I think I think I thought We had to stat him out No We had to stat him out That was the one duel That was just NPCs I have to take on the winner Gotcha We're going to stat out What level was Keep going What level was Omanyte Oh Omanyte Is 15 15 And Q-Bone is 11 17 Raichu beat Omanyte though Yeah
[01:28:22] Raichu beat both of them Okay And Q-Bone's what 11 17 I was going to use Lapras And then he decided To search Pokemon How you feeling about Level 13 and level 15 Well it's because I didn't favor my odds Against Lapras I'm not I'm not worried It's not weak to anything That I can fight with Lapras Um Yeah I don't have any Rock type moves I have water type moves Fighting rock And I have ground Grass Electric Yeah she's She's very strong Against ground So
[01:28:52] Yeah so there's Nothing I could have used If I'd hit you with Water against ground It would have been 400 Four times damage Rather than two times She's effective Against ground Four times Four times She's that effective Against ground I thought we were only Going by defense rules Not offense rules I don't know I thought that's Oh we're going by What moves was she using Yeah I wasn't using Lapras Yeah we were going by I was using mine too I'm discussing We're going As far as the damage For elemental stuff goes We're going by The defense stats We're ignoring the offense
[01:29:22] Oh okay Yeah ignore offense stats Because it doesn't matter What type you're poking on It doesn't matter What type of move Exactly Yeah Yeah that's all I'm saying Okay So the record would have been Double damage Double damage So whatever Wow so Oh shit Miles actually got money Because Baron was Because I'm white Yeah They don't like the savage Baron had the higher The higher Hold on
[01:29:52] What was What's Lapras' level 12 She's the one I used For the first battle Yeah you had an 11 and a 15 11 and a 15 No the odds were in her favor To win Okay so She has a level 17 Yeah I guess that's right And he had a 15 and 11 So the odds were in her favor That's a 2 to 1 Alright So Miles wins back Twice whatever he paid out Yeah Alright so he won 40 bucks So you're 100 bucks now Started with 20 And now you're at 100 Alright I think your vice Has to be gambling now
[01:30:22] Your vice has to be gambling Or betting Wait did you take 20 From the 6th one Yeah Okay then you're up to 80 Okay Raichu got 670 Alright Okay so Total for both Yeah 20 Since Raichu was the only one That did any fighting That's all I did Was out of me So Also Like I said I was gonna use Lapras And get Skibone And then I switched to Raichu Against It's my vice Whatever it is Is it? When we were using the nade rules It was my stress explosion It was gambling And you Oh
[01:30:51] And you just lost Yeah Alright so yeah Your vice is yeah It's like Oh god I need to gamble Yep Alright so Mikey jumps into the round It's like alright And we have the next round With Colin Von Grablejack Our returning hero Who fought off The savage The other savage The other savage The male savage There you go Oh yeah And in the other corner We have
[01:31:20] Cain Cormac An Irishman I'm gonna lose to this savage Irishman Coming back from his First round Round win Let's see if he can get Another one Alright And uh Cormac is going to Unleash Krikatoon He's like Jeremy Let's get him Throws the uh Pokeball And Pokemon comes out Krikatoon Alright he's gonna throw Krikatoon Yep Okay I'm gonna throw Growlithe Alright Ready Battle
[01:31:49] Leaps out of the marina And uh We start Wow Ball I go first Yep Woohoo I hit You do Most definitely hit I do 16 damage Jesus With ember Cause he's a bug type Oh fuck Fuck Alright and Conlon's Starting strong With his growlithe Using fire attack Strike against the bug And Jeremy's up
[01:32:17] Oh fuck So that was a four So this is gonna come down To both Yeah Uh This is gonna be I'm gonna use fur cutter But I only got like Six Uh That'd be ten Really Is it special Or physical Oh is fur cutter Special I think it was I think fur cutter Is a physical Yeah if it's physical Then yeah I got uh My attack's six Really Yeah Wow It just seems a little High I know It does Hang on Let me tell them
[01:32:46] No that's about accurate To the other pokemon I have Okay If it was special Attack You'd be cool Which move was it Fury cutter Fury cutter Are you uh Were you able to defend Against it or I'm just attacking Physical No I can't defend Not a physical Alright Um Alright So that's gonna be Eight damage Wait what did you roll I rolled a d2 And only counted The one or Okay Oh that's full How much did you say Eight damage Four damage Okay
[01:33:16] Cause it's a fun Type attack Damn it Yeah That was gonna do alright Oh and it looks like Jeremy is using Fury cutter But it's ineffective Against his Against Collins Growlithe Running Yeah Alright I defend Yep That one I defend against You can't attack But you can defend That's gonna be Down to bonuses
[01:33:45] Uh Ember is uh Special Special Oh was that Defense Special defense Special defense So 20 Oh shit yeah So it would've only been About 20 yeah 21 to hit Cause that's a 16 right Yeah Yeah Okay So he hits I can hardly tell What these lead is That's uh 18 damage Jeez He's weak to fire Isn't he Yep Yep Alright so He's Okay Jeremy is not doing Cricket toot is on the ropes Oh come on Jeremy
[01:34:14] You can do this Sure he's a fire type And you're a bug type But you can do this Don't be a dick No you can't Jeremy I'm gonna rip off your Voltons and Sum them up in your Cloyster Oh yeah Hey don't you dare Don't you dare Talk about my Cricket toot like that Dear god I will have you I will have your Gizzards For breakfast son Wow That's kinda creepy Anyway So uh
[01:34:44] Cricket toot goes Don't let your Conjure cannibals Cricket toot attacks Poorly Walk into that light Jeremy Walk into her Shut your damn mouth Boy Apparently he's like Cowboy Natural 20 Natural 20 Alright That is uh 27 damage We've got It's already double damage It becomes a times 3 Because it's a critical Crispy cricket Oh 20 is a critical 20 is a critical Yeah he's toasted
[01:35:13] That is one toasty bug Son of a Return Like a moth to a flame Brother Oh yeah He's really pissed I realize I'm Mixing Hulk Hogan Let me tell you Something brother Alright let's see If you can handle Sandrock Come on And throws the Pokeball And a little leap Comes out Alright Sandrock Use a stonish Wait no He's gotta Do his nubo first
[01:35:43] Are you Oh yeah 18 18 It's down to Speed And actually Growlithe kicks his ass Because little leap Has a shit speed Yep So Okay Alright go He's trying to Calculate experience I'm guessing No Oh he's just looking up What little leap is Yeah it's like a Grass rock I think I just dropped my dice And like five of them Came up fours It's kind of creepy I do have enough Knowledge of pokemon That I should be
[01:36:12] Tell this On the fly Not just reading a book Like No I should be able To tell that Like you're Like Like we're Like we're I'm doing that In Canada You're definitely We're like Looking through A tome Quickly I know what Will help me And what won't And being smart About my opponents Is gonna help me Bummer I got nothing To really help me What other pokemon Are you You gonna put a new one Around or No no Growl is staying at it
[01:36:44] Sandrock Kick that keister's ass I'm going first Aren't I Yeah I am going first Fuck Okay Yeah I guess I'm just gonna Keep going with ember Alright No I'm gonna go with bite Okay That's gonna be A It's a 20 Shit That's a 7 For bonus So that's gonna be 20 Goes to players Damage 6
[01:37:13] 12 damage Oof Christ Does it Get double damage No no He has a 6 Attack bonus Oh okay It just conveniently Goes to die 6 Yeah Okay Yeah Alright It just like Bites down And crunches Some part of What is it 13 No 12 Oh okay Yeah yeah Alright Yeah I don't think He's hitting Yeah I'm pretty sure You're right to do Come on Sandro Oh I need it Need defense Yep
[01:37:43] I'm depending with that one There's no attacking Going Oh There's no attacking Going Oh There's no attacking Going on right now That was a defense right Yeah Hold on If I roll a 20 I still succeed Come on Oh Half And half again 16 That's a 19 That's a 19 Especially physical I'd be a physical Oh is this astonish So Astonish I think astonish Is physical
[01:38:12] Yeah it's a physical So Yeah 19 Yeah okay So yeah Yeah you hit Okay You hit So Nope That one Okay so That's 5 damage And then a 30% chance lunch So Top 30 Wait You need a 7 to your higher 5 damage 5 damage Yeah Okay Because I got max And then 30% chance to flinch So he's got to roll the percent No wait There is no chance to flinch
[01:38:42] Lily goes second Right okay Yeah Oh right Oh man I should have been rolling flinch chance Yeah bite I'm going first 14 Yep 14 12 and 12 12 and 12 What are you attacking with? I'm going to use ingrain In grain That doesn't affect you at all So you gain 3 HP Alright so You're up to 40 Yeah I'm not up to 40 Okay It doesn't You didn't even need to roll for that
[01:39:12] You could have just been like I'm using ingrain And there's nothing you can do about it In grain Alright So Fend I guess 12 And what are you using? Bite Bite? Okay so that's going to be 14 It's a 15 Oh no Wow I definitely would have gotten that Because that's a 7 bonus Oh okay Alright so He's going to attack with acid Yeah you hit So yeah He shoots acid Somebody take these dice away from Chris And What?
[01:39:42] That would be 9 Okay He shoots out acid at Grellis It gets hit Mark 14 Uh was that normal bite? That's uh 23 Okay that was an 8 For what? Physical Physical He's got a ridiculous defense bonus He's got a ridiculous defense bonus He's there He's just kind of like He's busy You dumbfounded About what he Exactly Yeah He's dumbfounded That about fits 18 There you go
[01:40:11] Oh that was a defend Damn it I think you're going to hit him Fight 2 2 That's 8 damage And Percent flinch Oh shit yeah I'm going to hit 3 HP every time Uh 32 You missed it out this time Yeah 32 You're down 2 Okay Um And then your turn right? Yeah my turn And then so it goes up to 35 End of your turn End of your turn Okay He's going to attack
[01:40:41] 10 Uh It was acid so It's up because of course special It's special so it's 15 15 Yeah Uh 16 Defend Alright The acid misses him Now you go up 35 Goes up 35 And I bite again Alright He's going to defend Uh that's going to be at 20 His defense is ridiculous 25 Yeah Um that shell is pretty rocky and hard So Then A little late bastard 12 To attack with uh So that's uh
[01:41:09] 17 to attack with the acid again I defend Yep Poor Growlithe is complaining but his teeth hurting now Fuck off Jesus 17 to attack 17 And hits 17 And acid spews forth from Leap And it's uh 7 Damage And then you're up to Ooh that Growlithe is not liking that You're up to 38 Yeah
[01:41:37] I think I hit that Yeah That's a 16 to hit Yeah that's uh 12 Yeah that's a 12 That my arm hit that Yeah yeah That rolled it in That's a 9 Alright So he's down to 29 Yes Why not He's trying to make it Yep It's not working That was uh That's an attack So that's a 9 9
[01:42:06] Special Yeah yeah He rolls a fucking 4 and I lose What the fuck Uh that is 8 Shoots another torrent of acid Growlithe is not liking this at all How's Kotlin doing in this battle? Ah Pfft Ah I'm gonna re-roll that 17 And it is nowhere It's not skinny So that was a 17 Nothing Yeah I got nothing Uh that would been A
[01:42:36] You hit Yep That's gonna be 7 Oh Yeah I think that hit Yeah I think that hit you too That was a 7 That's uh yeah 10 11 That's 10 damage Alright so he's down to 19 Right now Fuck sakes I defend Alright Uh I defend Thank you
[01:43:04] And he uses acid again 19 What the fuck Is that your special attack? Yeah So it's 5 If he ate Has another torrent Growlithe is down And Growlithe is down Oh Conlon can't be happy about that Not a fucking chance Am I happy about that Little bug basket Wait no what is he? He's a plant rock Alright Alright Well no choice
[01:43:34] Totodile's out Oh shit Yep that is He got shit To fuck up Totodile With like double damage Totodile goes first Yep That's initiative Yep Alright Totodile is in the match Fuck off That was uh Defend or That was me defending Okay so I think you fucking hit That was 9 and a 5
[01:44:03] So yeah It's gonna be at 14 So Nine As like torrent of acid Hits Totodile Oh This is a little bit faster That's what this is I defend Yep Reroll that We'll both re-roll that Make sure it's not a 20 first Cause if it is I get to kick Chris in the nuts It's not a 20 Cause 20s don't count On the floor That then counts on the floor
[01:44:34] Your dice was still on the table You don't get to re-roll What? Your dice was still on the table It was a 15 It was a 15 It's still fucking hit But it's not a critical Yeah And it's 6 Fucking Christ And uh That would be 22 I think that that got trapped It totally got trapped Under the paper That was a 16 Versus your 18 You attack You attack with Yeah Water gun
[01:45:03] It's the only thing worth hitting him with It's 5 damage Okay And it is 5 damage Yeah I checked his His defenses 17 Chris Thank you I'm bad at math I'm sorry What is he doing? I'm bad at math I defend Yeah You defend against that I hit I have to hit Dude Yeah Your highest bonus Is a fucking 7 And I already rolled 7 higher than you got The most you can get is a 14 And I rolled a 14 I actually have Yeah I did get a 14 Yeah
[01:45:33] Well he's got to roll damage Oh yeah Sorry That's a 7 damage Alright so he's down to 10 You might actually get somewhere You might get him His defense is cracking Totodile is stepping up to the game Totodile is stepping up to the game Can you give me that back? Yeah Yeah Roll that Defend Come on Sandrock Get him 13, 16 It's your attack So what are you attacking? I got 19 19 and I got That was to attack or defend? Special Special You're defending special
[01:46:01] Okay so that's gonna be 7 So Is your special defense 7? Yeah Oh it is too For real? Yeah What the fuck? His special and his defense are 7 You gave me those stats dude This is fucking horse shit You and your fucking Pokemon picking Well if you can't Step up to the match man 18 to attack Fuck Christ And more acid It's only 6 6 damage This is not even supposed to be a fucking tough round That's the worst part Fucking Christ
[01:46:32] It's like fucking getting spanked by a splink on your first fucking battle Yeah Sandrock you're doing it No it's not Show this jackass what's for Defend Yeah I think I beat you on that one That was a defend I was defending Yeah that was you defending I was defending? No No I was attacking Was it attacking? I thought it was me attacking Yeah I'll stand in a minute I still beat you If I was using the box to say constrict a point But this one's dying Yeah If a point can't move
[01:47:01] Its heart stops Alright Except constrict It's still able to move enough in battle To not instantaneously die Yeah What was the damage? 5 Alright so he's down to 5 I just need to hit him one more time Come on It's not a dare Oh it looks like This could be quick over soon You hit him 5 And 5 He got him
[01:47:28] And the rock flower thing is The rock flower thing Drops It's like No That was a ridiculous fight You Me He points out Outside He pulls out his gun Totodile Yeah Oh yeah You're gonna kill this Pokemon? Why the fuck not? He's gonna be this kind of dick? Yeah Alright Roll at least a check to see if you can do it
[01:47:58] What Totodile? Yeah Totodile's been with me from the beginning He would unquestioningly obey it Okay You're gonna slit the Pokemon's throat? You're gonna be a dick about this? This is a tournament You can't do that in a tournament Fuck it I was never told I could It's a blood sport These are like gladiatorial battles Alright What? He just like Freaks out And just like Runs across the arena Towards you Yeah so Do you have trainers? Security! Security!
[01:48:29] Security comes in I'll say I'll say As he's about to ram you I'm a champ Just comes off And just takes him out And just Just hold him Pen to the ground This isn't fair This isn't fair I want my money back Shh Just let it happen What's up? What level was Crickatoon? Crickatoon was level 13 15 15 I'll get you for this Conlon I'll get you for this
[01:48:58] And he just is being escorted out And Mikey comes in It's like Whoa That was a bloody sport And Conlon is the winner The crowd has gone wild Like it was a blood sport People love their blood Oh yeah The guy freaked out Was pointing a gun at His Pokemon And then So his response is to have Totodile slit the other Pokemon's throat Yeah so he killed his Pokemon In front of him in the arena
[01:49:28] And then the guy Went berserk Got taken out by security Machamp And was escorted out of the building Threatening Yeah Threatening Conlon So Conlon has times one enemy In town Oh god Alright We're just gonna have our Have some people come in And clean up the mess And we'll be back With the next round Get some bleach on that blood
[01:49:57] Before it soaks in And the Yeah Their cleanup crew comes in And starts cleaning up his Ed actually You see Ed Come onto the stage Like Might be able to use this for something Walks away Grabs a sack Puts in the sack And walks off Stage with it Totodile gets some experience And then Mikey's just like Yeah Totodile gets some experience Remember folks Totodile actually got More experience Than fucking Cause ground us on your level Yeah Totodile should not have Brought you by Ed's tavern It was level 15
[01:50:27] Versus level 12 And that way I was feeling returned What did my lappers take out? A level 14 and 15 A level 11? Yeah It happened Alright so The next batch Is gonna be Me and This is gonna get bloody Mercy Wow I don't think anyone Levels you So I don't think anyone's Gonna level What do you think The betting would have been Versus Cormac Or Versus Cormac What were the levels Of Pokemon again? Levels were 13 and 15 13 and 15
[01:50:56] He stood a better chance Than I did Cause I had I had a 15 and a 12 So I wouldn't He had the better shot But not by a whole lot Two and a half Three times Like two and a half Three to one Somewhere in there Yeah three to one So What's that What did you bet? Again with the 20 Another 60 bucks You want another 60 bucks You're rocking in the dough now Woohoo What? Na na na na na na na Did he really level? How much experience did he get?
[01:51:25] He got 375 off that But apparently he was close enough I have 14 extra That's close I get to have some more Untag him in the game Cause Cormac is gonna be pissed He's gonna be waiting for him Yeah Cormac's gonna Cormac's probably going to End up be killed himself Cormac is gonna be You calling me a savage again I heard that Who you gonna bet on this round? I'm gonna go the savage Okay Yeah
[01:51:55] So yeah Mikey's just like As Ed is dragging away The dead body of the Pokemon In a sack Just walking off stage Mikey's just like Remember folks This arena match Was brought to you by Ed's Tavern Try out his new Mystery meat special Ed's Tavern The best place you can get Squirtle soup Diglett kabobs And mystery meat
[01:52:25] And so next round Is you guys Yeah I was gonna get bloody So you guys Like a little bit Time passes You guys get your Pokemon Healed up I just gotta remember The option before I start this Okay Cormac Actually while we're On that then I'm gonna have the Mikey comes over to you He's like Man good job on that It was really Like the audience Freaked out over it If you win this Win this tournament I may have an extra Reward for you 20 on the savage
[01:52:55] Alright Fucking boned I think he's got this one Yeah That's my thoughts too She's got a water And a water And fire Yeah So goodbye Since fire And then Yeah Mikey just kind of like After saying that He's just kind of like Good luck buddy And just walks Alright so what's Baron doing I mean we already know That Joe's putting money On the savage What's Baron doing I'm not winning On the savage Alright Assuming they can afford it Yeah Yeah Cool So how much Oh
[01:53:24] Oh Oh She's just You've rendered The stewardess speechless No when you say Your life savings You mean the claim right No no I said Oh you're winning Yeah I'm not Not in my life savings So how much How much money Are you putting in How much money Are you putting in Yeah Oh 60 Okay that's Well that's still A lot of money So yeah He's just going to be like Oh So I ended up Basically I get my 30 back Oh okay I was under the impression You were counting him Like 700 bucks to do I was like Okay so yeah So I'm revoking that Oh oh It's going to be more like
[01:53:54] It's like Oh okay wow That's fine Same life savings That's so strange How do you feel about This match Hanlon You've got what it takes To be the best What are you Are you putting it in Are you putting it in alcohol It's just sort of I like it You're following that advice For the listeners He's putting his dice in alcohol To make them roll better We'll see how this paddles out
[01:54:24] I would essentially Follow me It's like a drunken tumbler What's the maximum bet anyways Huh What's the maximum bet allowable anyways I should probably say about Maybe 200 bucks Is the max Well they didn't take my bet tonight Alright That's Wow okay No offense but There's no point in gambling There's no risk Fair enough What the hell is that His one chance That's winning this It's actually It's actually Gamers actually do this For good luck For their dice To roll better Wait
[01:54:54] He's just afraid I'm going to slap his ass Well I happened to glance Over to the Pokemon And uh Yeah I stayed in line For a spanking So And Drugs I contemplated Drawing And then realized Comlin would never Fucking do that So Especially after Smoking that Irishman Yeah Just throw that in the Locker gun It needs to go Pull other ones Under the sink
[01:55:21] It is actually Something that happens I'm not I'm just going to let it go So Roll for initiative If I get higher I can see what he throws out first Right Okay 18 Yeah Pick your poison Alright Who What will Conlin On this side Conlin And on this side Tomahake Growlithe Fighting And Conlin is releasing His growlith Lapras See how he fares Against Hit her Lapras
[01:55:51] Go Sonnet Go Sonnet Oh god damn it You're doomed Initiative Didn't we just roll for initiative No That was for Who You can't roll for initiative Unless you know which Pokemon You're rolling You go first Growlithe goes first Okay Growlithe Bite that motherfucker Uh Regular attack Physical Physical Physical 23 to defend Oh fuck me around it It's an 18 to hit Um Water gun Yeah Yeah Yeah Water gun Oh Uh
[01:56:20] Water gun is special That's 13 Yeah That's An 8 8 plus What's your special defense 4 12 By 1 Yeah So roll your D6 And that's me D4 actually Which is that one And 2 Plus 6 8 times 2 16 Conlin certainly has some balls On this one Using a fire type Against a water type I'm not sure what his strategy is here
[01:56:50] Are you attacking me with Bite Given his registered Pokemon This doesn't look good for Conlin Uh 16 Special defense No you beat me I defend yeah Yeah you defend Relax Yeah but I can't hit you for fucking garbage So it's just like defending and dodging Okay now I hit him Yeah moving this out of the field 4 10 20 Please stick with it
[01:57:20] I know you're stomping me But entertain me Take it off your I have 10 left I poke off An even 20 Wait you Have you not healed your Pokemon No he did No they've been healed Oh shit She's fucked me up that hard It's a water type Versus a fire What was I really for Attack and defense Attack Okay I hit 17 plus 6 23 Yeah Let's just put it this way He's dead Cause you can't roll Less than Yeah Yeah The minimum you can do to me Is 14 And I have 10 left My only hope was to defend
[01:57:49] And I'm gonna switch Pokemon in Alright Conlin is switching out This is Go ahead I can use left You're already using Raichu 20 You defended Nope Alright You're attacking What are you attacking? Rage Which is? Normal type Physical 11 11 Alright Don't you shake your head You like it It's my only fucking hope Try and do any damage Against you Uh That's 6
[01:58:20] I can't fucking See you guys 17 What's them? Thunder Shocker Yeah Thunderbolt Thunderbolt It's the only one that makes sense 14 28 What the fuck is that roll? 7 7 Okay Cause I can't read your dice Sorry 7 That's Aaron used to use dice like that They just frustrated Because nobody calls but it Oh Sorry I will announce what it is Okay So you hit 8 I gotta get that at some point
[01:58:50] And put that in the 4 15 You defended 20 Yeah Yeah I don't Fuck You hit 15 I'm dead Don't roll There's no point in rolling I have 7 HP left Oh jeez And This And Tamahaki wins That was fast Yeah It was a pretty Overpowering It was fucking stupid
[01:59:20] That's what it was Alright so It was absolutely fucking stupid I just got like Fucking smeared Sorry Sorry It really I mean like It was literally Like not even really Anybody's fault It was just The roster That's what it was Yeah it's the roster That's exactly what it was So is that It's the problem with having to Enter two Pokemon And have your entire team Sitting in standby Going well Fuck if You have access Yeah You answered your one right Yeah Yeah
[01:59:51] You get your money I'm not giving you money You've got Yeah in game You've got your money You're ready to give your money I demand you give me your paycheck For the day And uh Yeah Mikey leaps onto the stage Like What level is Lapras 12 12 17 Lapras gets 710 Which is probably You're saving And I met with your head It will however Is that the end of the
[02:00:20] I guess that's the end of the Terminant Yeah she won the wave stone Two stewardesses come out With the uh With the box Or with the crate It has the guild symbol on it And it's empty It's been stolen Shit Who could have done such a thing No um Yeah it opens up Dashboard twirling his mustache Dashboard Something like there's a It's a rocket Shows up Shit Why not
[02:00:48] It was me Runs away That's why you need a why not Shit Um And yeah he's uh They they open up the chest It's a glowing green stone It's like I believe this is yours I have no use of that I have I have Bulbasaur He evolves on his own What do I need a leaf stone for Oh for the love of god Tell me you're going to Take that fucking leaf stone And not leave it with them When both my pokemon Got raped In a big fucking effort On my part
[02:01:17] To get the fucker Please tell me You're going to take it I'm gonna take it Yeah they're still good Yeah like I said Um at the beginning Before even before this This tournament Um the leaf stone can be Like taken and sold Uh like they don't care What you do with it You win it Um And then um Uh actually I'm gonna have Mikey Talk to you after After the tournament Thank you Cause he has a Proposition for Well you didn't do too bad For most of the game For most of the tournament And it was a very
[02:01:47] Shocking ending To your tournament Uh we'll have to Um But I love your gusto And so I would like To have you as a member Of our organization This organization Fighting league I like fighting Indeed And uh I could always use Another commentator Ed's been alright Lately But he's Getting a little too Worked up over promotions Of his own tavern So Yeah he's kind of a Douchebag that way I'm noticing Yeah I blame his What's the pay like On this gig Um
[02:02:16] Five dollars A night Yeah okay Five dollars a night Sounds good For talking smack Which I'm gonna do anyway Shake on a ten Yeah shake on your head And then they get the By the way Um The froakies We got them Just after Christmas So uh Tamahaki Well they're only Two in a 50 gallon tank So After the tournament Is over Everybody's kind of Fighting They're winning Losing and gaining Their winning They're actually really cool Because uh In the tank At uh Big Alps I was just playing In the tournament
[02:02:46] For experience Like the most you'll see Is one crawl ahead Like two or three steps I know how badly He wants it These guys will actually I've seen one swim Like diagonally Across the fucking tank I was gonna just hand it to him Until he started yelling at me To take it So on my way Walking past him I'm just gonna shove it In his chest And keep going As uh My character didn't yell at you I yelled at you Out of game Well yes But we don't like each other But I have no use for it So therefore Shove in chest I was in the tournament For experience Shove in chest That's like the most
[02:03:16] Assaulting dude In my character I'm going to end up Fucking stabbing Her character I just gave you A leaf stone I'm just gonna let you know that I just gave you A leaf stone Yeah you gave me A pity leaf stone And I'm going to Take it gladly Because it will Evolve my Eevee She doesn't need To be alive For who's dead With a Pokeball At least two
[02:03:45] Have said Pokemon Would attack you If I was dead When they came Out of the Pokeball Yeah a Raichu Would not Neither would Lapras That's fine Because I wouldn't Be going for capturing Yeah he is We've already Established that Conlon is like Connor In that he's a Murderous psychopath When it comes to Monsters I'm not really a Murderous psychopath When it comes to Monsters I just don't have Respect for tournament Life They're gladiators And you know what I had respect for Their lives
[02:04:15] Until their Fucking trainer Tried to be a Total douchebag And then I I was just playing Heavy drinker And gambler Always ready for a Fight Wants to leave Stone for his Drinking You had to play Him the way you Played him I just played My guy the way I play him Yeah I've made Myself an enemy I was aware of That when I had Total dial snap Fucking whatever It is neck Yeah The stone plant You know Break its stem Actually
[02:04:43] I was aware of What I was doing I just didn't Give a shit So what does What does Colin and the Other guys do After the tournament Again people are Filing out Well I need to Drink my face off So you're going To Ed's tavern No no I'll be hitting Up a fucking Store and bringing Back like a Couple casts Of whiskey A veil of Teeth Okay I see I will be Getting home With the whiskey Cask and
[02:05:13] Fixing a handle To it He's just running I'm crying Charlie horse Right Yeah I know I got that Like a couple Of nights A couple Of weekends Ago I got that Here I got that Charlie horse I get them In the back Of my calves Yeah It's like Right in your Thigh It's like Just below Your ass Muscles I know They hurt so much Fuck me Run it So was my cousin
[02:05:42] Waiting for him To speak with me Your cousin Is nowhere to be Speaking He only showed up Are you going Hang on Are you going To your house After this Yeah Might as well There's nothing Else for me I'm just kind of Strolling down the street We did say that Your character had Some kind of weird Mystic going on Right Yeah Or is that more Just the alchemist We had Because she was an adept Well that's We put alchemy down Because that was The closest we could Get to Right Okay You just kind of Get a weird feeling As you're getting Close to your house
[02:06:12] And then You go inside Your house You close the door And you walk A couple feet in And then you hear And you need to Get out of my house I will be even done Then please Blab away And I'll pretend to listen We know that you've Been talking about The guild The tribe doesn't like You mean I was Threatened by the guild The tribe was informed Regardless of how Your conversation went The reason why We'd like you Since you're Our closest contact To town We'd like you Spy on the guild
[02:06:42] And we really Wish them Us then I'll do with my Wings what I please And I'm no one's spy Are you done? For now It was more insulting To my opponent Yeah Just bear in mind That the tribe Is not with Actions that are Going on And that is The tribe's business I don't live with them Just don't be surprised We bring down I'm just gonna Slam my door Behind them And continue On my merry way Yep
[02:07:11] Alright So You're going You're home You're back At the homestead I'm getting his face off Getting fucking Wasted before anything What is Miles On my way to buy This whiskey Did I bump into That fucking Nope Shithead Okay Hey Chris Players Yeah We got that figured Out right there I can't remember Nothing Alright so Your comrade Is drinking
[02:07:41] His life away Right now Or drinking His sorrows Away What are you guys Doing Counting money Money Money Money Money Money Money Alright I got all in one Um Yeah I don't know where To go from after that Right now Do we just want to call it There at the end Of the tournament It seems like a Well I mean The only other things I'm thinking of Is after my character Drinks face off And sobers up Deals with his hangover
[02:08:10] Yeah He'll be using Said leaf stone Yeah And uh Also the TM Picked up Yeah Because they're all in Yeah They're all in So they will all be Okay Um Yeah you know what In that case I'm just gonna Draw to a close there Okay So next game We'll get you So next game We'll start after My TMs are used And Yeah Your TM DB is now a Leafeon Yeah Cool So um Do you guys like the tournament Um Thoughts on it Aside from I'm going to make Pay more attention To a Pokemon level Also
[02:08:40] Yeah I will be fixing that I will make sure I'm assuming the Uh The tournament there Has a suggestion box Right Yeah Yeah There's a little Suggestion box I will be I will be Next tournament I will have it So that you guys Wait to categories Yeah I will also be Um Having it so that You guys can actually Like it won't be Like restricted to Pokemon That you register The next one Will be Like decide which one As long as Yeah I kind of like Like uh Pokemon League rules From the fucking show Okay Cause it was like It was three Pokemon battles But he had all six with him Yeah
[02:09:10] But three KOs He's done Yeah Okay That Yeah Next game Next time we do a tournament Uh We'll And he also has the option To return To uh Forfeit With a Pokemon Okay Team doubles Yeah Yeah Yeah Team doubles Could be pretty fucking cool Okay Um Highlights of the game More as a bonus round Instead of a tournament objective Perhaps Almost like an all star game Has no overall standing No standing on the overall tournament But It's there as an event You know The team would win Like a bonus prize Yeah Like the one that wins
[02:09:39] Or yeah You could do a team doubles tournament Another one to this Yeah Okay Um Okay I will keep that in mind It was a well handled tournament I am pissed off I know you are Yeah I was kind of actually I didn't expect Stephanie Who only makes it To one out of five games To have the perfect team To fucking knock my ass out And mine I'm not gonna I will I will I will I curse and I swear But there's no hard feelings Behind any of it I'm just He may look
[02:10:08] I'm an expressive and angry person But I'm angry at the dice rolls In the situation Not the person who's taking advantage of it Okay Try not to take it to you Don't take it all personally I've done it to everyone in this group Yeah I was afraid that you were You were gonna just like Walk away from the game Like for a second And I was like Oh shit There was a moment where I was like Oh Dave You might be going a little too far But Just so much I know how you game I'm sure if you ask Miles He could tell you some pretty nasty things
[02:10:38] I've said to people during games Miles is the one who's gamed with me the longest Yeah I've said some pretty fucking nasty things To people during games Right? Yeah When shit starts going wrong Yeah There's no hard feelings behind it I just get angry at the situation And the dice rolls I'm not pissed at the players Yeah I'm mad the probability hates me I definitely enjoyed being able to get a bunch of experience And being able to like During our other games Like if we want to go train
[02:11:07] We have to do like this whole battle Where there's just two of us And everybody else is just kind of sitting there Or like Yeah We're sitting over there There's no way to just go walk around in tall grass And battle multiple Pokemon Yeah Like you do in the game There's tall Well there's not tall grass Because I really need to do some training with my other Pokemon But I can't really do anything I'm honestly Because they're level like six and five I'm a lot more concerned with us I know someone who you can train against Setting up the ranch Yeah Yeah Which I've been doing Yeah Well I've been helping Yeah Yeah
[02:11:37] No I've got livestock and shit To be honest That's what I wanted this game to be more about Was the ranching with Pokemon in the world Well I want to get the Pokemon But at the same time I want to get I want to get the ranch and the farm set up basically on automation Yeah So that you know We have We have some butterfrees and some beedrills in the field You know Pollinating Yeah We've got grass types and water types monitoring them Bird types making sure the bugs don't get in And then if you
[02:12:02] But the bird types are clearly trained enough to realize the beedrills and butterfrees are to be left the fuck alone Yeah You know Like that kind of thing Yeah I was going to give you my Mary for the farm because I no longer have any Get zigs of goons and drill birds to fucking do the mining Yeah Like Get it to the point where It's all operating We're there We're overseeing But really we're focusing more on our training Yeah And then going abroad So I need a good home for it Going to the jungles of the south Or going to Well yeah And we don't need to worry about anything
[02:12:30] Because our farm's automated Yeah You know I will say that also like Next time we do a tournament The prize will be a little bit more International I think the next tournament's prize will probably be tickets to Easter Island Okay And then we'll do a one-off where you guys travel to Easter Island And hey you guys can get one of those Easter Island head Pokemon or something We'll have the chance to catch one Yeah Or you know Kill it and then taxiderm it and have it on your mantle Eventually being the key word Which is probably going to be the most likely thing to happen In order to get
[02:13:00] And then yeah You know This tournament actually did give me a couple of antagonists in town Other than Yeah Like Nanook Which was going to be I guess from the ground going He's an asshat Because the tribe is a Is a little bit more sinister than even the company So And Yeah And then you get And then you get pissed off Kane So Kane's just going to be A James or Jesse In this game Yeah If you don't kill him first Kane Cormac Yeah
[02:13:30] Kane Cormac is the heir Yeah The other guys didn't really get pissed off or anything They just kind of They lost their matches and left And walked away Hold on Let me get that guy's name Okay Because that's really only relevant to my character Yeah K-A-N-E C-O-R-M-A-C The Irishman Yep Who drinks a lot And gambles And always wants a fight Yeah He's Irish I've said And he's got a He's only got a He's only got a cricket tune He's gambled Right now He's only got a cricket tune named Jeremy
[02:13:59] And his leap is now Actually Is now Part of the Mystery meet Is now the mystery meet at Ed's Tavern Don't eat the mystery meet It's a little hard Never eat the mystery meet So I guess we'll call that a game So Until next time