(Dungeons With Dragons): Dat World! Crawl

[00:00:40] We're recording? Oh no! We're playing Dungeons With Dragons, a Lasers and Feelings hack. Lasers and Feelings? That's what we're buying? It's like a rules-light Star Trek one-light thing. Lasers and feelings. By the way, who's shirt is this? Because it's just in the way. Mom, Mom. Is it? Just because it's in the way.

[00:01:09] I didn't do this. You may need this. Is there an initiative in this? Not really. We're playing a game I'm affectionately calling Dat World Crawl. You guys are all adventurers who are at the edge of Arcania. Goddammit. At the last pub before the outstriads of town called the Crawl Daddy. He's going to have a Crawl Bat. That's what it was. Not a Crawl Daddy. Wow.

[00:01:40] Oh, daddy! He's going to have a Crawl Bat. Oh no! He's basically a crayfish with a mustache that has the logo on the sign. It is run by a dragonborn named Sarda. He's a dragonborn, and he has a stare, drunk enough and daring enough to travel out to the stretch of land beyond Arcania called the Crawl.

[00:02:08] Where there's a bunch of large earthen bounds and structures out there. Basically little mini dungeons known as Dungeodes. Because they are basically like large geodes. Like massive scale hill-sized geodes with fractaling dungeon layouts within. And if you guys can survive through one of them and come back with proof, i.e. all the loot and stuff that's inside of one.

[00:02:37] Or the head of the creature that's in the center of it. You get bragging rights back at the pub and also basically ale is free for life. Wait, so what was this guy's name and his... what was he again? The pub owner is a dragonborn named Sarda. So he's only Sarda the dragon? Yeah, he's only Sarda the dragon. It's sort of. Sort of.

[00:03:08] So yeah, you guys are all at the tavern about to leave. You guys have all decided to take the dare. So who is your daddy and what does he do? You mean by us? Who's your character was he? I'm just gonna describe my dad and not me. So, starting with Seb. My name is Guster. I'm a goblin. I'm a mercenary. I'm single-minded but I carry a big axe. I'm strong. If I'm big, you're a goblin. It's fucking...

[00:03:37] Is it big for you or big for a human? Big for a human. Hell yeah. Are you jack as fuck? Yeah. Yeah. But I'm like stupid but not stupid. I don't know how to explain it. Um... Sarda. Can I say my gear or no? Yeah, just not your potion. Okay, I almost say my potion. Don't look. Don't look. My gear, I have a raw rabbit, two-handed axe. I almost said my potion.

[00:04:06] Two-handed hammer as my other thing. And my goal is to fight to discover the power of friendship. Hell yeah. Yeah. Alright, Aaron. Uh, okay. I am, uh, an elf wizard. Uh, my name is, um... Crono Hellenysiel. Okay. Just gonna go by Crono for the reason. Is there a reason that is your name?

[00:04:33] Oh, I wanted to be long as fuck and not able to be remembered at all. Crono Hellenysiel? I already forgot it. Crono Hellenysiel. Crono Hellenysiel. Uh, my name is our fruit leather and V-Jerky. That's my snacks. Uh, I have a staff and a grimoire. Uh, and my goal was to discover the power of friendship. Wow.

[00:05:04] I feel like that should all be our goal in LA. We're on the same question. Alright, uh, Dave? Uh, yeah, uh, I'm a nine-foot-tall minotaur named Mumu Antu. Uh, but I'm also a coward, however. Uh, and also a priest. How tall are you? I just said. Pay attention, Seth. It was like the first thing I said on this. Take notes!

[00:05:32] There's gonna be a quiz later. Yeah, I'm so good. Okay. Crono Hellenysiel. You've already got it wrong. Good. Crono. I'm just calling you Crono, I'm just sorry. Crono Hellenysiel. Sorry, sorry. Um, Guster, but you can just put Gus. I think he can say Gus. I can say Gus. I can remember Guster. Gus is fine.

[00:06:01] Crono Hellenysiel. Crono. Got it. Crono Hellenysiel. Mumu Antu. That's M-O-O-M-U, then space onto. M-O-O-M-what? M-U. M-U? Yes, and then onto. M-U-N-T. M-U-N-T. M-U-N-T. Alright. Is that going? No, I gotta keep going. Yeah, my favorite snack is high quality grass that's grown at the temple specifically. I carry it like in satchels.

[00:06:32] My weapon. My weapon. Sips and bags. Yeah, I've got so much grass on me honestly. Like I might as- Yeah, exactly. The only weapon I was given on the way out was a shield. Because my faith is enough to protect me. But also the shield will help. And my tool is a holy cowbell that I have. What? What's your god's name? Blue oyster coat. Fuck. I didn't think about that. R-P-H-U-N.

[00:07:01] Alright, there you go. R-P-H-U-N-T. He's a part of the blue oyster coat. It doesn't matter because he's got a fever. And the only prescription is more cowbell. Spell more cowbell, just make it like fantasy though. Moo cowbell. Moo cowbell. Moo cowbell. Moo cowbell. Moo moulama. Or hell, my god is just Christopher Watt. Moo moulama. These boots are for a wakin'. Mark.

[00:07:31] So, my name is Orion. I am from the dragon race. So, like lizard, dragon. I hope he can breathe fire. If that is a potential thing. I mean, this is like a rules light. So, it's like, how do you attack this guy? So, I can breathe fire. So, he is a knight. He is a knight of... He is a Templar knight of the Sirius Brethren. His goal is he is on crusade, seeking glory, fighting monsters, to learn the power of friendship.

[00:08:00] Can I change my goal slightly? Yeah. I am uncovering lost artifacts of friendship. Got it. I have a potion. My potion is for... Nah. It's secret. Okay, my potion is a secret. Who use it? My snacks are the scavenged parts of my enemies. Okay. So, I eat my enemies. And I... What else did I need? That's it. That is it. Specifically the penis. Yeah. Yeah! It's one of the most protein. Crystal Chris...

[00:08:30] Speaking of... What are you excited about? I'm a mercenary lizard man. I'm brave. My name is Jizzard. Are you his brother by any chance? What? Are you his brother? Oh, maybe. Because you're both lizard men. That's a big assumption for me to make a lot of sense. I'm wearing a leather comb. I have gum chucks, which are gum chucks. I have a lock pick, but it's a cock pick. What are you doing? Those games, Croker. And my favorite snack is Slim Jams. Okay.

[00:08:59] And my goal is to find the staff of friendship. I forgot to say my tool is a halberd bearing my chapter colors, so it is a weapon. A halberd? A halberd, yes. A halberd. Halberd. Halberd. Halberd. It's a bird that's in a hole. Also, I feel like the thing goes with a character trait for Jizzard and it's like he's a pervert. Why would you assume that? That's a good one. Yeah, okay, okay.

[00:09:28] What a player is a pervert. Just clarify it, just clarify it. Alright, so after you guys have taken up the dare from Sword Island to head out to the crawl. So question, how did the dare be, how was it presented to us? Did we know that going into the pub or were we there getting wasted and then the pub owner's like, hey, by the way. It's pretty well advertised. There's like a bulletin, there's like a death pool kind of thing. A death pool? Yeah, a death pool. Nice.

[00:09:58] There's really a big sign over the bar that's basically like the dare. Like go out into the crawl and basically the ultimate pub dungeon crawl basically. And there's a couple of other teams that are on. There's not a lot of them. And they say that this has been going on for quite a while. So not a lot of people come back.

[00:10:18] But yeah, basically a lot of enthusiastic and inebriated adventurers like do the pub crawl through town, make their way to the last pub in town, which is the crawl dad. And then go on this dare out into the stretch where all the dungeons are. Do the big cut. Do the big cut. So yeah, you guys have decided to take up the dare and see if you can get free ale for life from the crawl dad. Oh, I don't care about ale. I just want to eat my enemies. That's fair.

[00:10:48] There's likely going to be tons of monsters in the dungeons. There you go. There's a theme of friendship here. So you guys trek out into the stretch of land known as the crawl. You see various mounds of where the geodes have bubbled up to the surface of the land. You select one at random or where, however, how do you guys select whichever mound to go like investigate?

[00:11:17] Anybody else got anything for this? So are we going into a mound? It could literally just be that. What time of day is it? The left is always right. Is it a day or night? It's probably evening. Okay, so I'm going to start making torches for everybody and blowing fire. I'm making torches. I'm very next to me. Yeah, very next to me. Yeah. It's for the power of friendship. Wow. Question. How drunk are we? That's you guys. How much do you guys drink? I don't drink. My character doesn't drink either. I get drunk on friendship.

[00:11:46] We hang out again. Yeah. How many people do you drink? Yeah. We're drunk on friendship. Yeah, I'm drunk on friendship. I drink it. Is there a mentoring group just called the friendship? Yeah. It's the friendship. The friendship of friendship. Get on the bed wagon. Friendship of the ring. Yeah. Oh my god. Just wait until you find out what my potion does. I now determine what it's going to do. Alright, so you guys just go for the one that's on the left basically.

[00:12:16] How were they laid out? No, no, no. We're drunk. They bubble up at random. I think. Onto the environment. I think we should take an empty bottle and spin it on a table and see where it puts us. Maybe not on a table but just like on the ground. Yeah, I mean do it on the grass. Just a tiny bit. I thought we were going left. We are. Like by a skateboard. Yeah, sure. No, I did like five on the ground.

[00:12:42] So you guys find, regardless you guys go to one of the dun geodes, the mounds. Yes. And there's like an archway, like an ancient archaic looking archway that goes into it. It almost looks manufactured but you go, it's just kind of like embedded in the rock. Is it arch shaped or like tier shaped? I like tier shaped. Yeah, sure. I'll do that. It's bottom heavy. Yeah. And you walk inside and let's see what the first room is.

[00:13:11] So the first room is... Question, are these like RNG'd or is this... Ooh, love the RNG. This is the one thing that I like RNG in. I hate it in games. But in tabletop games are... So you guys walk into this room and again like this is like, it's a pretty... Like the one you guys have learned, what you guys know of these dun geodes is like they are pocket, they basically like have little pocket dimensions. They're bigger on the inside than the out usually. Me too. And they kind of like fractal out into different layouts. So like the layouts are never the same for any of these...

[00:13:41] It's like a Volkswagen Beetle in this bitch. Right? But you walk through the darkness of the archway and into what feels like a combat coliseum. And... So question, like we walked in and it's like a cave, right? No. It's not? So the... You were expecting a cave, as soon as you walked in, you see like just bright white like a sky above you. Like a sky above you. Okay, but there wasn't even a hole to get there. Yeah, no.

[00:14:10] It's just you walk through and then you look back and like the... As soon as you guys all walked in, a... Like one of those like spiked colis kind of... A fort colis? A fort colis basically just comes down. And you guys are in a massive empty coliseum. Huh. Space. That is way bigger than the... Than the large dome like hill that you were walking into. What a lovely room of death. What a lovely room of death. It just echoes. Is there a sky? There's a sky box. I'm excited beyond flowers.

[00:14:40] You just see like a brilliant white like space above you. So it's like daylight in here? Yes. It's daylight. I have a question. Yeah. If we're entering combat, is there our only instance of combat or there will be multiple There will probably be more of the different instances of combat. That's a dumb question. There's no... There's no... No, it's a very important question for my potion. Yeah, there's no foes in this combat region. In this potion maybe. So... In general? It seems to be pretty...

[00:15:08] Like there's no audience members in the thing. There's just another door... Like another like... Like almost like an opponent entryway on the opposite side of the... Of the arena from you guys. Okay. But everything else is just barren and empty and quiet. Well, I guess we're here. So... I guess we'll go. There's no bad guys here. Says the nine foot tall minotaur. I'm gonna try to do like the wimpiest voice possible.

[00:15:38] Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Can I push the minotaur to check the other door? Well you guys have to walk. It's about like a... It's probably like a two minute walk. Oh, okay. Across the arena. Dude, it's like... So you guys have to trek across the street. Yeah. So you start like just pushing him forward? Yeah, like let him go first. Yes. Even though I weigh so much more than this little goblet pushing me, he's easily pushing me because I'm scared. And not using my weight to my advantage. Well, how about you make... If you're the one...

[00:16:05] If you're at the head of the group, why don't you go ahead and give me a dungeon roll? Hell yeah. What do I do? So you roll... Is it d20? Roll one die six. Sure. You find out how it goes. You also roll a plus one die if you are prepared or if you are an expert. So this is basically a perception roll. I'm making you... This is a perception skill check. You are not prepared. How do you determine if you're prepared or an expert in this? You determine that based off of your attitude or your roll.

[00:16:34] So like your attitude is cowardly so you might be more cautious. So I can see that like you're being like... You're all ever alert. Okay. Your head is always on. Absolutely, yes. And I'm hiding behind a shield too. Yeah. Okay. So I can roll two? Yeah. And I'm rolling a dungeon or a dragon? You're rolling for dungeons. I figure. So you try to roll under dungeon. Or under your number. Oh. Okay, that's bad. Yeah. I actually should have done the... Okay, so dragon is like fighting generally?

[00:17:03] Yeah, basically dragon is like the bombastic action, like passionate action or like power, like your brute strength and stuff. Dungeon is for precision and thought and like your calm actions. Okay. Maybe I should have chosen the opposite side of that number but it's fine. I have the opposite side. I have five. You want to trade? Sure. Because you want to be more attacky, right? Yeah. Alright, we'll trade. GM, were you allowed to trade on dungeons? I suppose I did. Really? Oh, I was joking. I didn't fully understand. Okay, I guess I'm two and you're fine. Yeah.

[00:17:35] I didn't think we were... I picked a low number because I always roll terribly. What about... Are you going to roll the... No, I'm not. Okay. Never, never. It's fucked either way. Yeah. Okay, so I need to roll under that. Under... Yeah. I rolled a one. Both of them because you're counting how many successes you get. Okay, then one success. Just one success? Yes, because the other one I actually rolled a six. Great success! So regardless whether I switched it or not, it was going to be the same result. Okay, so you...

[00:18:03] Perhaps you detect a trap by stepping on the triggering panel. Mm-hmm. And you can hear the sounds of mechanisms beneath your feet like getting ready to get a shirt. And you look around and you're like, oh, there's... Bless me. In the dust, in the sand and stuff, you can see where like there's little imprints where the holes would be. Probably where spikes are about to just jut up at random locations. Oh. So you have a chance to try and escape actually and maybe even warn your friends because they're all like you guys are all in the middle of like a spike trap. Can I try to shove them out of the way because I was right behind them?

[00:18:33] You can help, helping if you're helping somebody. Tell us how and then roll a dice six. A lot of success. I'm literally going to lunge at them. Okay, well, okay. So then roll a dice six to see who's succeed. I got a five. Fuck. And you're trying to roll... Is this a dragon roll? This would be a... Probably a dragon... A dungeon roll. So he's trying to roll under your number. Yeah. I do not. Okay. You fall... You go like...

[00:19:02] You're like, wait, wait! And then you like... You missed him. Like he like, huh? He just gets out of the way and you go fly past him. I just fly right past him. So the rest of you guys... So can I try to get out of the way? Yeah. Okay. So do I... So I'm rolling dungeon? Yeah. Yeah, there's gonna be a dungeon. Okay. Am I prepared for this? Because I still was, right? Yeah, you're aware that there's supposed to be a trap to bug to be triggered. Okay. So you have a chance to, like... So shoot. Yeah. Okay.

[00:19:33] Uh, in dungeon, so I got one success on a tie. What does a tie do? Uh, tie... Uh, if you roll the number exactly, you get to ask the GM a question in addition to getting a success on your roll. Cool, so what does a tie do? That's my question. If you ask about anything you can see and the room in the GM... Okay, so basically, uh, so it's a success. And you are aware that there are traps riddled along the combat form. Like now, like as you like leap out of the way from the... Okay.

[00:20:03] That was gonna be my question. Is the trap centralized just on me or are my friends also in danger? Yeah, no, you quickly learn that as you like leap out of the way from the spikes. Everybody sees like spikes almost in pale, like just pin cushion, both, um, uh, Mu Muantu and, um, uh, Guster. Did you fall on top of me? I might. You guys, like Mu Muantu, you learned that yes, uh, wow, this entire, like, arena is just riddled with traps and triggers. Okay.

[00:20:32] Um, might be, might be spikes, might be like flaming cats, you don't know. So did the trap trigger? Yeah, it triggered, yeah. Okay. So visually they are like just spikes that come out of the ground? Yeah, just a whole bushel of spikes just come up and then start slowly retracting. Okay. Okay. So because I saw those, um, coming, um, instead of like rolling because I'm like big, uh, can I just like duck behind the shield and have the shield take it instead?

[00:20:59] As he jumps out of the way and I guess he just lands in between a couple of spikes? Or does he have to roll for spikes too? Uh, you also have to roll for spikes because you've tried to help and... Yes. So yeah. Alright. Also because I didn't get the chance when I first stepped on it, I would have mentioned everyone like, oh there's spikes here! It's a trap! So what is it? It's a trap! As I turn back and look at the trap. So it's a more high or low? Oh you might even lower. Oh god. I got a four! Which is low? Or is high? Is under your... It's over. Well you are uh... Do you want to trade back?

[00:21:29] You are uh... You are uh... You are uh... You are uh... You are uh... I guess you have like... You guys have all like how like one like harm essentially like one harm box before you're dead. So... Oh really? Yeah this game is... Yeah it's... It's pretty loosey-goosey as I did. So... Yeah you're basically like... You're partially impaled. Oh! Help? Uh... Like the spikes like jet up and then slowly start like... So it's like you're feeling cool. Can I like roll to attempt to get him out of there? Yep.

[00:22:00] So... It'd be a dungeon roll. So a dungeon... Well actually we were running in there. Okay so here's my question. I kind of missed the dungeon dragon portion so I went like three and three. Oh no you only missed one number. It's just one number. It's only the one. So... Okay so... It doesn't matter because he picked a three. Okay. So you give me a three. So when you do something like calm or like precise or like cautious, you're rolling for dungeon so you're trying to roll under that number. Rolling under that number? And then if you're doing something like running in... I'm gonna try and roll under that number then okay? Alright. I... I rolled a five.

[00:22:30] Yeah. You step... You go in and it's like, don't worry I'll help you. You step on another trigger and a gout of flame just like unleashes. Mm-hmm. I'm dead. Around you. So... So it kind of seems like with the dungeon... You get singed by a gout of flame. But I literally spit fire though. So... That doesn't mean you're going to fire. That... Okay. So here's the thing. Would I be immune to... Am I immune or do I have like a resistance to fire because I'm a dragon? Make it... Roll another die six. Because you are a dragon so like it's a preparedness sort of thing.

[00:23:00] Five. Five? So that's still under your... Or still over your... Well, yeah it's resistance to it. Then it's half damage rounded up. You only got one harm box but you know whatever. Yeah. I'm just curious like... Yeah. It's just... Um... Yeah you may just just crit after like a... So like the flame doesn't hurt you but the falling does. Okay. Yeah. Um... So you don't succeed in helping him. I tried. Yeah that's... That's good. I tried. Listen I'm really trying with the power of Fred Jigger. You got a hole through me right now.

[00:23:30] Yeah you are. You have this gaping hole in your chest. Yeah. Or in your side not your chest but... So how do we go about healing in this? Aside from if potions do? Uh... If you guys have like... Like you guys just have the skill to like heal or... Aaron's a wizard. He might have a spell for healing like as a wizard. Like basically your spells are going to be whatever you want. Oh okay. I'm going to use ultimate divine healing of badassery. Is that just healing? Scorching heals? I don't know.

[00:23:58] I'm going to stab him with my healing shit. Oh god. I'll use the healing beam of cauterization. Scorching rain. Alright. Yeah you can just roll a dungeon to see. Which dice should I use Seb? The one with the one ring. Okay. It's the one ring in the eye. Yeah.

[00:24:34] Two and a six. So one success. One success? Okay. Yeah. It hurts like a bitch. But you are healed. Yay. Um... So... Because I'm just clarifying rules. Yeah. So you get one dice basically for each... So... For each... Because it works kind of like fate right? Yeah. So you've got all these tags. So everything that lines up gives you an extra dice. Yeah. So you actually have two dice.

[00:25:03] So because I'm a wizard and sagely and an elf... Yeah you get three dice. Oh yeah. And you do wanna... You wanna roll more... The more dice you roll the more chance you have to get like more successes. Yeah. Well then how can I get more than three? Three is the max. Okay. Well that is another success. Okay so that's two seconds again. Then it works great. Like he... It doesn't even hurt. Why don't I be able to play? You actually have two hitboxes. No you are. For some reason.

[00:25:30] So here's the obstacle of this room obviously that you guys have started. Yeah. This arena is... It's at least like a half a minute like run across to get to the other side. A two minute walk. And it's riddled with traps like hidden in the dust and hay and stuff like that. So how are you guys going to try and cross it without dying? Question. When I stepped on it... Yeah? What was the delay? It was like seconds.

[00:25:58] Like you hit it, you heard the grinding of gears and like within like two or three seconds spikes were jumping up. Okay cause... You had enough time to warn people and then try to get out of the way. So they're slow enough that we can just run past all of them. Yeah if you want to try and just run. If you want to try and use athletics to try and run. Aaron was going to suggest teleport. We were going to teleport. That's also something you can do with your magic. You can roll dungeon to see how your teleport works. But all of them? And don't fail because otherwise you teleport into the wall.

[00:26:26] Can you teleport all of us or just yourself? Uh... Well I don't see any reason why I couldn't teleport all of us. From the window to the wall. From the window... Into the wall if you fail. Yeah. That's the TPK. He just teleports all of us into the wall. It was just a Philadelphia experiment. Skeet skeet motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah whatever you want to do. Yeah I do. Okay. Wait. Anybody else want to try something else or is... Um... I'm not risking it anymore.

[00:26:57] Who's the fastest out of all of us? Okay. Probably the little goblin right? I'm trying to... Okay I know I'm a knight but I'm going to ask is there any way that I might be able to figure out how I can disarm this. There's a lot of traps. I understand but is there... You can spend the time. Like you can make a roll to spend the time to basically disarm each trap. I want to roll... I'm going to roll to determine what would be the most efficient way to kind of save everybody. While he's doing that can we teleport with Eric?

[00:27:24] Is there a way we can find a central node and maybe... Is there a way... Okay. I'm going to try and like kind of be like a pathfinder. Is there any way I can find like a way out? Okay so... That's what I'm asking. I'll say this. You know that all you... I'm not even going to make you roll for this. You like tap around like cause you know that there's all these traps like underneath you. You realize that the floor is hollow. So you might be able to like break down into... Okay. Like an underline... I'm going to grab my hull bread and see if I can sm...

[00:27:52] Cause I'm already noticing that it's hollow. Can we teleport first? You're telling me it's hollow. I'm just... I'm going to see if I can smash into it. Okay. He did say all the bread. Make a dragon roll. So you're rolling... Over by three. Also... You rolled more than one die six. Oh! I only have one die six. But I rolled a five anyways. Okay so then roll again. He's breeding the bread. Six. Six? Okay. So yeah he just starts smashing like cutting like... Just like an axe. Like using the halberd.

[00:28:22] To cut through the wooden boards that make up the board. Look at Chris saying it! What? Halberd you idiot. It's not bread that's in the hole. You can actually hack at the floorboards basically of this arena. And you find that below there is like a six foot deep like space. Like crawl space where all the traps are like sitting. Waiting to be activated. And so he goes down there and then like hey guys. And you guys are a tough one.

[00:28:52] Yes. Thank god. I do want you to roll to see how... If this succeeds at the... My sagely wizard elf. See who gets left behind. I will say this is dragon so you're trying to roll over. Because you are... It is power. You're using like arcane power to like get a large amount of people over. Fuck you! Two successes and one of them meets my number. Which means you get to ask a question. Yep.

[00:29:24] You can ask the question does it succeed. I'm going to ask the question is there a likely spot in this coliseum where the person who runs said coliseum would keep the prize weight? Yeah directly above the actually opponent entryway. So right above where we are? Yeah. Where we are or where we're going? Where you guys teleport to. Okay. Like to the far...

[00:29:52] Yeah to the other end like there's like a backstir. You guys saw when you were like looking in that direction there's like kind of like a much more prestigious like view area where like an announcer would be. Well we probably should have teleported up there guys. I think that's where the strong box is going to be. And then you guys hear like a bending sound like as the floorboards bend and hack and you see like you see um... What's your character name Mark? Uh... Or you see Orion just like hack through it's like here's Orion!

[00:30:21] Like through the floorboards below you guys. As he's hacked his way and walked underneath... Here's Johnny! And walked underneath the crawl space like avoiding all the traps. I must be tired of shit. Did you go with the teleporter or did you uh... Come with me. Come with me my lizard brother. He's just thought he was going to try to squirt past Ball. Hey you can try that on Jinser. See how that works. Please do. I am brave! Yeah yeah. I would say...

[00:30:50] What's your uh role? You're a mercenary? Yep. Okay so yeah I'd let you roll all three die sixes to try and run across the traps and just like trigger it. But I'm trying to like disarm it. Like it's... You... Oh you're trying to disarm it? Yes! Okay so you're basically running... Too late! Uh... Roll die sixes. Hang on hang on. Before you roll it in... Or Chris? Sorry I'll take the hat off so we look different. Four. Four? Um... It'll be over a three so... Yep. Um...

[00:31:20] Okay so... Uh... I have to run with him probably. Nope. Uh... You're basically... So as he's running above... You're running underneath... Breaking all the traps. So you get actually four die six to run. Oh! It's like wow I'm doing so good! This is hilarious! I thought it was the whole area of speed. I thought it was the whole way around. Is this dungeon or dragon? You... You cowards! Yeah. Oh you're a dave. Yeah. Ooh.

[00:31:49] Two successes. Two successes? Yeah you should see the... And I have no power to move the up comes. So yeah. Good job. I thought it was the other way around where he saved them off. And he's trying to... Go team! Friendship! I don't know if he's the pass trigger. Yeah. He's clearly going like... You're hearing like clicking sounds. But then you're hearing like... Maybe it was just the one trap. So just curious... Uh... Is Gizzard wearing flip flops? Yes! Yes! Why not?

[00:32:17] So as you run it sounds like uh... Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Theme based. Theme based. Um... Yeah then... Yeah then at that point... That's when um... Uh... Orion first threw the floorboards um... Like nearby. Hey guys! It's just like the... I'd probably jump out of my skin and like whack you in the head with my cowbell. Can I...

[00:32:47] Okay can I dodge? Cause he's trying to hit me with his cowbell. It's not damaging. I'm also wearing shorts from Jickies. I like the idea of this... I'm just gonna call a seo when you hear the echo of his lip off. Echo of his... For two minutes. I'm just sitting here... I gotta stop! I gotta stop! I gotta stop! I'm just running and going like... Okay. I'm just gonna... It's just hearing the echo of his lip off. It just sounds like somebody's patting the entire time.

[00:33:17] I like how you were against his like lewd character and now you're just like... He's here. You just roll... Now you're just rolling with it. Yeah. You get a lead in there. I gotta like... I gotta like... I gotta like... What's the word? Uh... Oh god. Roll with the punches? Roll with the punches. No, I was like... What's the... Compromise. I gotta compromise. Just look at that picture. You wanna know what's funny? Yeah. I'm probably the most serious one here at this point. Yeah, your character is not.

[00:33:45] I'm pretty serious man. Hell is frozen over. I will say... So as you guys have all reached the other side... Ooooooh! Can you see there are some like banners? Like long banners that go from the... Like how those frozen over. This is my most serious character. That'll be a better role. It's not. You wanna throw me? I can give you uppies. And then like... Aaron uses a spell to gust me up. How high up is it? Um, it's like... Probably about 40 feet. You're failing. He needs his head. He could have downsies. It's... It's... It's...

[00:34:15] Like no... Like spears or... Like... Like... Hit the... Hit the... Yeah. Hit the prestigious viewing area. I gotta cast a spell on him to give him better grit. Okay. On his climbing back. Climb track. Make it die six. To... Against... I guess... Yeah, against your number. Are you casting this on him like while I'm holding him up? Yeah. I guess this would be a dungeon roll as well. I'm doing a... You're right below the number?

[00:34:46] I'm happy. You got the big AX. Oh, that's true. Alright, so you get another extra die six on your... Did you borrow one here? As... Matt, you are... Which one do you want? Just anything is die six. It's pretty friendly. Also, I... It's very light. It is. Just like you should be with your jumps. Yeah. Uh... Any other dangers that stand out here? Uh... Not... You know for certain you guys are in a safe area. Um... The traps seem to be the only big... Like, the only actual danger of this. Okay, question. Safe from rules apply, guys.

[00:35:16] Question. Uh... He's rolling two because he's having an assist? Yeah. Does he get a third because he's a mercenary and he should probably be doing these sort of things? Yeah, you're used to like... So you get a fourth because you're throwing me? Yeah, does he get a fourth because I'm throwing you? No, it's only three guys. If you're helping with throwing him, then you're having to roll a dungeon... Or you have to roll a dragon to like... Is he like... See if I can assist him? I'll do that. So what is it? It's dungeon or dragon? He's rolling dragon because it's raw power he's using. Okay. Do I get a bonus because I'm huge? Yeah. Okay.

[00:35:44] You wanna go first and then I'll do it? Yeah. You just need one success from this. What is the size of your big bulldog on that? I did not go over. Okay, so... I'm starting to realize that like choosing the extremes in this game is horrible. Yes. It's a horrible idea. Yeah. It just makes it impossible to do one thing. You do the other thing awesome but you suck at the other. Yeah, you trip up as you go to throw. Yeah. So I need... So you lose enough.

[00:36:14] I'm helping. I'm helping. So what am I doing now? You have to jump the dungeon to try and climb up. And dungeon is lower? Yeah. You're trying to get under the room. Okay. I got a one. Okay. That's under. Yeah, you manage... That's one success. Despite his efforts... Great success. His foils and stuff. He is. You manage to grab onto like the... The... What did I just call it? Like not tap. Banner? You grab onto the banner and like a sailor or a...

[00:36:45] Like a swashbuckler. Where you manage to start climbing up the thing up. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. All the way to the top of the balcony area. And that's where you see this... Like again there's like two large throats, expectating thrones. And in between them there are... There's an unusual gleam to this pile of coins and jewels. It's like kind of like faintly glowing blue and green. But like... But there's... Like there's um... Rubies and... Rubies and... I'm there!

[00:37:15] So I'm up there now. Like I'm standing up there? Uh... You see you have a... There's a pile of coins and jewels. In between the two... Expectating thrones. How am I gonna get my friends up there though? You're not. You're taking the jewels and throwing them down to us. Or you could use the um... One of the banners. And use that like kind of like a bimble. Yeah, I'm gonna try to like... Throw all the golden things in the banners. You just slug it down. Just drop it down? Yeah, like you tie it up into a... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:37:45] Do you need to lay it down? No? Okay. Is anybody catching the gold as it comes down? Or... Someone's gonna have to. Is anybody catching the bimble of treasure as he drops it down on you guys? Is it something big and heavy? It's... It's like basically like a garbage bag. He's dropping it down. Yeah, I'm gonna catch a garbage bag of gold. Of metal. Yeah. Um... What's that gonna weigh? Like... 200... 300 kilograms? Yeah. We have a nine foot minotaur!

[00:38:12] We have a nine foot cowardly minotaur that could probably lift three times that. I'm cowardly though, I would not want to stay on the main bag. Use your shield to catch it. Yeah, I could. No, yeah. You guys are like waiting and it's like, hey, I've seen a long time. Boof! Like this like drops this like large sack of... This like impromptu sack of gold and jewels. Yes, I scream. Yeah. I scream? Yeah. It's sad that you're just a minotaur and not like a satyr in this because you don't have to go to scream. Oh, okay. Can I jump on his head to scare him?

[00:38:41] Yeah, I'm gonna do that. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. Uh, roll a dungeon if you're trying to like aim for... Yeah, I'm aiming for him. Appreciate that. Carl! Carl! So I need lower, right? I got a two. That's... Yeah, he lands on your shoulders. Let's get the fuck out of here. Hell yeah. So now you gotta grab onto his horns. I'm laughing maniacally while I do this. Roger fainted at my feet yesterday. He was excellent. That's amazing. That was a good thing. I can't wait to see you. I can't wait for this.

[00:39:11] He's fainting out. He's supposed to faint. Okay. That's what he likes to do. Alright, so yeah, you guys have a... No, we have a... That's what we did. Did you tell anybody about the unusual glow that they had when you first saw him? The gold? About the gold or what? Yeah, the treasured inside? Uh... He's trying to do that but I'm running around in circles flailing my arms because something just jumped on my back. There's something on my back! Can I control his horns like Ratatouille? You can try, yeah. As soon as you grab them I just freeze and I just like immediately just automaton now as you're controlling me. Like your mech of goats?

[00:39:41] He's just like a mech of goats. The dollar who may have heard it. Which riff compatible? It's friendship. Oh my god. I guess. Both of you roll? If you roll the same number. That would be sweet. You are compatible. We're trying to figure out what Warclone's gonna be with everybody. You guys want me to do first? So I kinda wanna do a pass. Same time. Same time. Give me your hand! Give me your hand! I'm serious! Here we go! Ready? Go! You have duck legs? Four?

[00:40:10] Mine didn't land in here, it went in here. You're a little violent later there. Aw, yeah. Do you try? No! Like he ends up just like inadvertently like catapulting you off of the door. Fuck that. That was so fun. That was so funny. Try to like drift compatible. I just had them like... We can keep trying though. Yeah, absolutely. I'm just gonna like control them like a mech. Oh my god. It's like, we're gonna be drift compatible. Both of them had to try and roll the same number.

[00:40:38] Instead of giving him the shield, I give him my two big handed weapons and I control him with the weapons. Aww. Cause you're so scared, I control you. Yeah. Oh, we need to... You get past the fear. Yes, we're trying. Y'all we're gonna... You guys are trying to be drift compatible. Yeah. For a moment, I wasn't afraid. What is this feeling? Oh my god, I love that. So your class is now a Jager? Yeah. Us together, yes. Can we watch Pacific Rim?

[00:41:07] Can we... After... Yes. Okay, sorry. Keep going. So now that you guys got the... Are you telling anybody that? Like all the shagas around? Yeah, all the shagas around. I'm like, there was a weird glow in the gold when I was up there. Okay. I can investigate that. Yes. Roll dungeon. I've experienced magical glows and shit before. I do, after all, work at the university. What's the university called? Tenured in everything. Tenured in everything. What is the university called?

[00:41:38] It... There's various... There's various ones. So like Strixhaven, there's the... Dracon... What was it? Dracon Wand, I think it was another one? There's hogwash. Like redneck Hogwarts. Hogwash. You'd have to adopt an accent. Are you adopting an accent for this character, by the way? Yeah. I probably should ask that one. You're an elf too, right? So... Uh... Uh... The Romanov School of Exceptional Magical... Uh... Magictitude? Yes. Magictitude. Magictitude.

[00:42:08] Magitude. Yeah. Magitude. It's a very rad school. Uh... Two successes, one's a four. A what? Two successes and a match. Damn. Right? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Um... You... You identify the... Like quick... Through a quick ritual. It takes ten minutes. And you can ask a question! That's what the author does. Uh... You recognize that it's a curse that's on the gold. Okay. Um... And it is a...

[00:42:37] It is a curse of uh... Of rapture. So... Anyone who has this gold... Until the curse is broken from this gold, anyone who has this gold for too long, literally gets raptured to their whatever afterlife they believe in. Cool. Cool. Hence probably why most of the... Why this place is empty. Maybe. Okay. Okay. So don't touch the gold, guys. Cause uh... Gus! Wait, where'd Gus go? Gus! Oh, he's getting raptured! He's gone!

[00:43:07] The odds at home. Seb went to the bathroom. I'll find him. Hang on. Hey Gus! Gus! Gus! What? Did you touch any of the gold? Gone to Goblin of Valhalla. What does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean? It's gold. Well, did you just touch the bag of gold? It doesn't take that... It doesn't happen that quickly. Okay. Like it's just like...

[00:43:36] You have to have it in your possession. Yeah. Okay. You have to attune to it. Basically, we found out that it's cursed gold. Um, and then we were about to tell you and we realized you weren't here anymore in person. So we thought... And the curse was literally that it... Yeah. You've disappeared. That's funny. Oh my god. You've disappeared. But yeah, so... That's uh... Yeah, that's um... Um... No, you're not gone. It doesn't take that far away. Oh, okay, okay.

[00:44:05] My question is how do I break the curse? Um, since I got a match. You could use uh... Dispel magic. The blood of friendship. It's not a... It's not a very powerful curse. The blood of friendship. It doesn't require like a uh... Greater... What is it? Greater restoration or... It can work! It can work! You can remove curse. Yeah, remove curse, yeah. Like sacrifice our friend. You can remove... You can use... Sacrifice our friend. Um... Which one? Sorry. No, sorry. Okay.

[00:44:34] Yeah, I will uh... Dispel magic. Okay. Uh, this would be using dragon because you are using raw power. What if we didn't dispel the curse though? It would take... It would take some time for it to take effect. Will we have enough time to bring him back to the tavern? No. Okay. Yeah, I will... Oh hang on, Aaron. You're pretty... Whoa. Do you actually want to like... Him... No, he's fine. He's fine. He's just breaking it for her. Yeah. Uh, so this is dragon. So I want over. Yeah.

[00:45:04] I rolled two fours. Which is matching, but nothing over. Okay, yeah. You uh... To ask two questions. Uh, yeah. You can ask... The questions are just like, if you need information to happen in the game. So, yeah, yeah. You break the curse on the gold, so now it is just gold, platinum, electrium, and rubies and emeralds uncursed now. Okay. Okay. A big old, like, hobo... We have a war bindle of that.

[00:45:31] We now have a hobo bindle of not uncursed gold. Not uncursed. Are you sure it's not cursed? Uh, yeah. Cool. I'll pick up a coin and fight it. Good enough for me, I guess. Uh, alright. And then that is... Who's carrying it? Probably somebody who's strong. I'll do it. You know, like, maybe like... You know, like, maybe like... The smallest guy. Yeah. I'm strong. It's good.

[00:46:13] Uh... Thanks for noticing. I'm also tall. You can do it. You can do it. Alright, so are you guys going through the... I'm fucking jacked! Bruh! Are you guys going through the archway to like, to the next room? Yes, sir! Yeah. Um, I'm just gonna shoot some fire through the archway just to kinda light it up a bit. I'm gonna shoot something else. There's a princess hiding in there. No, it's like, I'm just gonna just like, I don't know, like... Okay, so you let me...

[00:46:42] Oh no! Oh no! I just rolled for what it is. So you light it up and see an orphanage. No, no. Eric, Eric, it's worse for you. You light... Oh no! So the dragon lizard guy lights, like, just unleashes a torn of flame into a... What looks like a library tower full of musty books and scrolls and it just ignites... I wanted...

[00:47:12] Chris! I just wanted to light the frickin' candles down the hallway! Yeah, that's too bad, sir. You went a little OP on that. Fine. Question. Should he roll to see how good or un-good he did at what he's trying to do? That's a good idea. Make a roll for that. Is this dungeon or is this... No, this is dragon. Two-die-six. I'm going to cast a spell. Okay. Uh, vacuum. I'm going to try to... I rolled under... I rolled twice under. I rolled two-toots. Okay, so he... So you don't like just get...

[00:47:41] I rolled two-toots. You end up unleashing a torrent. What do you want to do? I'm going to try to suck all the oxygen out of that space. I'm going to try and suck something outside of that space. Nice. Is this dungeon or dragon? Uh, this is dragon because you're... It's being hasty as... No! So if he does... So is the reverse effect meaning you can put more oxygen into the dragon? That's not fair. If he fails, yeah. I hope you use the dragon one.

[00:48:12] Oh, yes. Should this be a dungeon? Because he's trying to be precise with it or is he... I guess... A dungeon is for calm actions. Dragon is for like hasty and power clacks. Oh. Like when you're doing something in hasty. Just stand up would be easier. Yeah. Did you... Did it eat the... Yeah, it ate a dice. It ate a dice. It ate it all. It ate it all. Is it on the floor or is it? It's probably in the front.

[00:48:40] Get a knife and start ripping the cage open. There it is. I got it. I got it off. It has a... It's got Velcro. Oh! Oh, you're like... You took your sword to it or something. I thought he did it. My dice is not important. That is not important. I have two successes and one failure. Two successes and one failure? Okay. So you manage to like... So you see what he's doing and he's like... He was trying to like... Like busy light up all the candles that were in there or like... Basically like create illumination. He got a little overboard.

[00:49:10] And so that's where you're like, no! Like... No! Like stop. And like just create a vacuum that like puts out all the fire in there. Um... And that's when all the books also start kind of like leaping off of the shelves as you realize they're not actually books or scrolls. They're all mimics. The entire room is a library of mimics. Oh, great! Well, if only do you let him set them on fire. Let him set them on fire. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he can try again, right? So you guys... He can try again!

[00:49:39] Um, yeah, no, so they're like... They're coming out through the... Through the entryway into like... At you guys. How many are there? Uh, yes. A horde of... Of little like book-sized scroll-sized mimics are coming out of the like... Just books and scrolls with teeth and... And uh... And little like appendages. How far are they from us? Uh, they're on you. Okay. They've... They were kind of... They were partially like... They partially left down. Partially were like taken down from the vacuum like space.

[00:50:09] So, yeah. I'd say I let Mark try to do it again. Yeah, so you guys can try to fight them off. So, question. How are we handling a combat situation where all of us are here? Everyone roll to see how you guys fare against it. We're all basically choosing what to do? Yeah. In any order, it doesn't matter? It doesn't matter. It's all happy going. When does the world act? Uh... Does it act as a result of what we're doing? No, so it's player facing. So, if you guys fail, you're getting hit. Okay, so we fail, we get hit. But...

[00:50:39] We're entering combat now, yes? Yes. You're entering combat, yeah. You guys are all attacking. There are a yes amount of mimics attacking. Yes. There is a horde of mimic books coming at you guys. Okay. A library of teeth is coming at you. Yeah. I am going to use my potion. Okay. My potion is essentially just gasoline. It's just gonna make me... It's just... It's napalm. It's... I basically... Oh, so you just have dragon... You just have dragon... It just makes my dragon breath worky. Like...

[00:51:07] Turbo charging his breath with Greek fire. Yeah. Yes. Okay. Does he ever warn us before he does this? No. So you're just keep rolling... I guess like 3 die 6 plus 3 die 6. Uh, I need 3 die 6 and 3 die 6. Then 6 die 6. Because you're doing something risky... Um, you're prepared because of your map. You need more? Yes. What's your attitude down, Mark? Wild. Yeah, okay, no, that... How many need total? 6. I'm still holding a ball of dense oxygen.

[00:51:37] Okay. You'll get them back to them. But they're all trying to kill us and I see things that it's gonna make it... Oh, I get to. Yeah. Okay, so roll a die 6 to see if you add a 7th die, I guess. Ouch. Sorry, so what do I need? Just wait. Hang on. Wait. Let Aaron do a roll. No, you're stuck. Leave that. No, let him re-roll it. Why? He hasn't told me what that is. Is this dungeon or dragon? It is... This would be dragon. Why am I re-rolling it? Because you're not waiting.

[00:52:07] Just wait. When you're helping somebody, you only have to roll once to get under a roll. Well, I got 2 successes and I have 2. So roll another die 6. Okay. And then this is dragon, so you're trying to get over your number. I've gotten over my number already a bunch of times. How many times have you gotten over my number? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Okay. Roll that last one just to see. I'm just curious. 2. That was under. So I have 2 on...

[00:52:34] Mark, explain to me what it looks like as you like verily immolate the inside of the letter you have and all the mimics. Basically, you're going to see all my scales, like everything just go red. Yeah. Inside... I'm a black dragon, so like you see like everything... Basically, I'm like charged with like fire and I'm just about to just throw everything out at them. Right? It's just that... It's literally like I'm creating hell on earth.

[00:53:02] So, like almost like a much more powerful version of what he almost did before Aaron stopped him in the vacuum and something like that. Yes. It's that times like a thousand basically. Yeah. You basically... By the time it dissipates and the flame dissipates, everything is like burnt off the shelves and it's just this blackened stone. I also like that when your scales are like, since they're all black scales, it's like how like charcoal or like coal like burns red. Yes. He just orifarmed the fuck out of that.

[00:53:29] So while he's doing that I'm just going to lean against the walls and start snacking on the slim kid. No! You have to do the catchphrase though. So... You gotta have the freaking... You gotta have the voice too. You're orif... That's orifarming. I'm orifarming. You do the... Yeah! Snap into a slim kid! Yeah! Okay. Oh yeah! Hang on.

[00:53:59] As you're just like kind of like leaning there watching this and like just enjoying it, you manage to like... There's some like... Part of the area that you're like standing and just watching this, like a little compartment opens up and there is this bejeweled golden statue of Macho Man Randy Savage. Hell yeah. Basically like a small... Like both like a few feet tall and a tall. And it just boggles out.

[00:54:28] Wait, it's alive? Yes! It was animated to friend. No! It's like... But like he... It's made of gold and jewels for like all the like different like details and stuff of the... Of Macho Man Randy Savage. What happened to all the enemies? They're all gone. They're ash. Yeah, I know. There's a massive pile of soot and ash at the bottom of the... Of the next word. Well there's... There should be a few pages left over. Because he likes to eat parts of his... Yes, yes, yes. There's some... There's some... There's some... There's some like...

[00:54:56] Some little like pages kind of coming down. There's some like flesh... Ow! I'm just scooping ashes into a bag. Yeah. And all that's left here in that room... You're storage. Yeah. It's actually storage. Oh god. But all that's left in that room is... I was gonna make chocolate milk in this. It's like bone meals for books. ...a stone spiral staircase on the edge. And that's basically what remains of like a staircase that goes all the way up the tower. Mm.

[00:55:21] And yeah, you guys have this little random like two foot tall like golden macho man Randy Savage figure like waddleing out. I was like... Oh yeah! That was some crazy stuff you guys did there! I just looked down at him with like my eyes are like getting super wide and be like... Um, hi! Are you friend? Of course so! I am friend shape! Hell yeah! He does not look like a dog. That is the shape of a friend. He just goes... Ruff ruff! I am friend!

[00:55:51] So while he's talking I just like shove a Slim Jim in his mouth. Here we go! Stop just like... No, I'm still holding onto it and I'm just going back and forth. He's very rude. Yeah, that was... I'm trying to force feed him a Slim Jim! Jesus! Oh girl! How... Because I'm mechanically focused. Yeah. Me as a person. I'm curious how the damage and stuff works in regards to your horde of mimics that you had. Is it basically just like you did enough damage you win? Yeah. Okay.

[00:56:21] Like did they have a health pool of hits? I'm just curious how the game works honestly. It is very much like player focused so like... I tell... You guys react to whatever I'm describing. Yeah. And if you fail you get hurt. Yeah. But if you succeed you manage to fight off whatever I'm throwing at you guys. Okay. So I can keep throwing things at you but I think that's more entertaining for you. Especially with how much dice he was rolling. Especially because he burned his potion to me. Yeah, exactly. It was very thematic to actually make sense. But I was curious how it works. That's all.

[00:56:48] And yeah, I just rolled up the loot from the loot table and you guys got a jeweled new friend to scribe for. Oh really? That's how I determined a gold 2 foot size animated statue of Macho Man. Hell yeah. Sandur Ravage. Yes, Sandur Ravage. Yep, that's his name. Right down. Yep, right down. You guys have a friend. You have a little... Tychoman Sandur Ravage.

[00:57:13] Also, you realize as he's being force fed the Slim Jim, he doesn't have a throat. The mouth is just catching. So like, he can chomp down but it doesn't go very deep. Yeah, his mouth is only like... It's deep. Yeah, so he's just like snapping off pieces of the Slim Jim. But yeah. Alright, so then there's the now ash and empty room.

[00:57:40] There's a stairwell that goes spiraling up to wherever the next room of the chamber is. Okay, so also visually after Orion did his flamethrower breath, I'm assuming like... I was hiding probably behind my tower shield. My tower shield's probably higher than most men are. Yeah, you're just like... And then I'm like... Is it over? Yeah. They're like, good job buddy. I'll give him like a pat on the back. I come out of the little corner of a shield. Yeah. You're just holding onto his back hair. Yeah.

[00:58:10] I had absolute faith in him. Hello. Yeah. Alright, so as you guys are climbing up the next... the spiral staircase to the next room, let's find out what that room is. Oh, of course. So the next one is... Oh god. Okay. Oh, that's actually over here. It is a large room. It appears to be... Like there's like large archways, like almost like a...

[00:58:40] Not like a table, but kind of like a... Like a large vaulted, like stone vaulted chamber. So like, basically support arches all over the place. And there is a coiling creature in the center of the chamber. Kind of guarding the next like doorway. How big is it? It's a giant snake, probably about the size of several men. At least like... But it's all coiled up into a pile that seems to be sleeping.

[00:59:09] Let's not wake it. Yeah, let's not. It seems to have a bow and arrow, like a bow and quiver, like... Like propped up to the coiled up snake's tail. A normal sized bow and quiver? Um, yeah, you surmise about the size of... Like a long bow. And like a larger... A slightly larger... Like something that you could... Something that you might be able to use. Okay. Okay. It's too big for me. You say that as the goblin carrying a weapon that's too big for him. It's... It's large...

[00:59:38] This thing is large enough that you have to like try and like sneak past it. Or like wake it up and confront it. Okay. So, um... Uh, I suggest we try to sneak around. Who's good at sneaking? Is it not? Mmm. Oh, I'm a dragon, not a little... Well, I mean... Are you in plate armor? You're in plate armor. I'm in full on plate armor. How loud is your plate armor when you move? It's like... I'm like... It's clanging. What about Aaron? He has skulls. I'm like the dragon king kind of deal. Like that's kind of my... What dragon king?

[01:00:08] Oh, not from... World combat? Wait, if he's a reptile and there's a snake... Can he speak to the snake maybe? He might be able to do, yeah. You should be a sneaky snake though. I'm fucking huge. I'm a unit. You don't see the head of the snake? You just see this like coiled up snake body. We can tell it's alive? Yeah, yeah. It's like you can see the breath. It's breathing. Is it the... So, cause I used my potion, is that the only one? Yep. You've used it for this game. Okay.

[01:00:37] I say we get the wizard of castling invisibility or something. He probably has passed with a trace. Yeah. Which is a... Cast the wizard of Oz. No one look behind the man in the curtain. Mm-hmm. Oh. Cause realistically that's the only way we're sneaking through here. Yeah. Are we in a hotel? I could try to be as sneaky as I want, but I'm bad. I mean, I could... I could... Not tiptoe, but tiphoof over there. Um... Tiphoof. I mean, I'm small. I guess I'm quiet. You're the sneakiest.

[01:01:07] You will absolutely get passed. Wizard man could get passed. But like... The way I carry my axe around is I drag it on the floor. You could curl it. Yeah, I can. Look at the biceps, bro. I can. It's like squeeze his tiny... Huge biceps. I'm a jack. You know the Goron, like the Goron chieftain from... Yes. From Ocarina of Time. Yes. Like you're... Yeah, you just got these massive... Yeah. Super squat but got these massive like biceps. That's why I like the big weapon, but like... What are you wearing by the way? Not much cause... He's naked.

[01:01:36] No, no, no. He is a Goron. Like leather stuff maybe. Yeah. I don't know. Okay. I'm assuming I'm wearing like priestly sort of attire. Yeah. So it's either I try to sneak or we wait for the wizard cast like some spells. We should wait until Aaron gets back at least so we can ask him if he's got a We should do that. Can we get me an ice tea? You got it. I... Water is like next to you. I should... I should just have a look. So yeah, they...

[01:02:02] So there's this large coiled up snake like thing in the center with a long bow and a large quiver like kind of propped up to it and just kind of snoozing in the way of in the room that you guys have to get to to the next door. D&D what? Question. It seems to be sleeping. It's like slumbering. You don't see the head or like the upper body or anything. You just see that like a bunch of coiled up like the coiled up tail. Question. Um, darkness of the room? Uh, low light.

[01:02:29] Like you can see there's some light seems to be peering through some cracks in the ceiling, but there's no torches lit up or anything like that. Okay. And D&D wise, what is the size category of this creature? Large. Okay. Size of a horse. Okay. Okay. It seems to be coiled up large enough that it's like you guys could sneak past it if you're quiet enough or otherwise you're going to have to like... Like you're in my waist. Is that as big as a horse? Yeah. Like this is what a large...

[01:02:58] To give you an example, so you're a goblin, right? Yeah. Yeah. So you're small. That's that size. Okay. That's large. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So it's about like... Like that. Five of you. Okay. Fair enough. Okay. So Aaron, while you're gone we were talking about like our sneakiness levels. Pretty much all of us are relatively sneaky. I don't know what you're wearing. Maybe not much at all. Are you nude? Just a leather coat. Okay. And flip flops. And flip flops. They're going to flip flops.

[01:03:27] They're going to bat all of it. They're going to flap up like a whole way. So between his fat and Dickie's shorts. And Mark's like little armor he's wearing, us as a group are not going to be able to sneak past. I could sneak. I'm sorry but I got new shoes on. I could sneak. I could sneak. Absolutely. You could sneak. I could maybe tip the selfie. I could only selfie as your loudest. Yes. So pass it out trace. Yeah. That's sort of still.

[01:03:56] I could probably... I could probably... Gasp muffled movement. That's what I was thinking. Because the only other option is I could potentially just pray to more cowbell. Jesus. And see if he'll bless us and let us go by. You should. I think... First, like... Don't get me wrong here. I'd love to read the question. I'd love to hear the prayer. I want walking. How would that even work? If you were spanked. Can you just pray to walk in and say like, please, uh, please mighty walk in. Yeah.

[01:04:25] Grant is with quiet walk in. If yours fails. Quiet walk in. Please, Grant don't walk in. But I gotta have more cowbell. Yeah. I feel like if yours fails, we gotta send the other reptile to go talk to the snake. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. You can try to just do friendship with the snake. But like... Are you down with that? Sure. I'm going to attempt to sneak us past. If that doesn't work. I'll ride with ya. What? I'll ride with ya. He's just eating some of the mimics. Yeah, fair. I'm clear what I'm doing. Yeah.

[01:04:54] My thing is, when he's talking and not dying, we... I... We don't have to overrun the snake. We just have to overrun the mark. Is he also a lizard dude? Yes. No. I said both the lizard dudes. Fair. What color's your lizard dude? Wait, I can't say that. I like friendship. Yeah, that would betray you. Yeah, that would betray me. Yeah, I can't say that.

[01:05:25] We're a friendship. We're a friendship. We're a quest to find a partner friendship. Purple. He's black? Why don't you just say it like that? Yeah. Um... It's a Canadian friendship right there. So, uh... I'm white. Why do you say it like that? Yeah. I was going to suggest being white. Just for the, uh... The contrast, you know. And a black dragon is born. Just for the bit. Yeah. You're so surprised.

[01:05:55] Okay, so you guys go on. So, I think what we're doing is, I'm going to attempt to sneak us as a group through prayer. Okay. So, I will, um, put the shield on my back. Oh. And pull out my holy cowbell. And hold it in my hands in front of me. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is it on like on a chain? Oh, I could do it on a chain. Uh-huh. Dun, dun, dun. That's a chain throw ball. Yeah, that's what he, that's what he was saying. Mm-hmm. So, yeah, um, I haven't... It wouldn't be a chain.

[01:06:25] It would be a rope maybe because it has to be more farmish, I guess. So, it's on a rope. Yeah. Um, but it's a cowbell that I'm just holding down there and like, I'm in my prayer. I'm like, uh... Wait, what's my god saying? He should do this. I just said it wrong. No, the god is more cowbell. Oh, more cowbell? Yeah. It's more... It's more cowbell, actually. Okay. He's like a cowled bull, basically. So, is Christopher Walken as a mincar? Yes, absolutely. Oh my god. That's amazing. Yes. I can draw that somehow.

[01:06:55] Absolutely. Have fun with that. Yeah. Um, but yeah, so I'm holding the thorough bull. Mm-hmm.

[01:07:30] Mm-hmm. Bountiful crops, maybe. Yeah. And milk. And milk. And milk. Yes. Uh... Uh... Please allow a safe passage, um, with as little cowbell as possible, only for maximum cowbell after this. Okay. And then, um, so I have a cowbell at the end of this. Okay. And, um, I'm going to start, like, swinging it. Oh. And it would normally make noise. Yeah. If I'm blessed enough by, uh, more cowbell. Well, it's fine.

[01:08:00] There would be an aura of silence around me as we're moving. Yeah. So does it make noise? Make a dungeon roll. Dungeon? Yep. How many am I rolling for this? Uh, so, priest? So you're priest, um, you're being, you're, this is a very kind of cowardly act. You're trying to, like, be stealthy. Yes. And get away from this. So, and then, um... It's also race-based. Yeah, I mean, you are a minotaur, so, like, so that's basically your god is kind of the patron saint of your kind, so... Okay. Yep. Okay.

[01:08:29] Uh, also, you're doing something weird. I'm doing something with my tool. Yeah, roll three dice six, that's it, yep. Okay. I should do this in the prayer situation. Please. So what's the tool supposed to be for? Uh, it's just for, I think it's just for flavor, like, for like, your occupation, like, whatever your class is. If you're a miner, you have, like, a pickaxe, you know, that you could use for something else. Because the children, they earn for the money. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. If you're a dwarf. Okay. Please, please. So this is dungeon roll? Yeah.

[01:08:59] Okay. Please. Bless these shitty dice. My cursed hands. Please fail. Under? It's, I gotta be under, yep. Okay. I got two? Two over, or two under? Yeah. Okay. Is that enough? Yeah, you, uh, you, you're, you're swinging it, you're like, and like, no sound's coming. You guys start walking, and you all are walking in, uh, like, complete silence. Like, despite, like, it's armor, despite your, your, your moves, like, nothing's making a noise. Despite the flip-flops.

[01:09:30] Yeah, despite the flip-flops, nothing's making a noise, and you walk past. And as you get, you get closer to this thing, you realize it's not just a snake, it's a large gorgon-like Medusa creature. Oh, great. That's slumbering, uh, in the middle of this room. I'm purposely not looking at it. Yeah. Because I'm terrified. Are we- You can, you can see, like, her snake-like hair, like, kind of tucked under, like, like, kind of, like, as her face is, like, tucked under the top of the coiled up snake, uh, snake tail and such. So she's basically, like, coiled up into a slump, into sleep. So we're not trying to get the bow? We're trying to get the bow.

[01:09:59] If you want to sneak away from it and get the bow, that's up to you. I am just getting us to- That would be risque. I am getting us to the other side of the room. Once we're at the other side of the room, I will get the bow. Okay. Okay. Okay. So once we get there, I, like, on the last swing, I'll reach down and grab the cowbell with my hand in the way to, like, actually grab the- The little- The thingy. The dong. I'll grab the dong. I'll grab my dong. The cowbell dong. To stop the spell.

[01:10:26] And, um, and fold to my knees in prayer of, um, Moar cowbell. You hear in your head, it doesn't, like, echo through the holes, but you hear in your head, it's like, I have a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell. Thank you, great Saint Christopher. There will be much cowbell after this. The next room will be filled with sounds of your- I think we need to buy Gabe a cowbell for his 41st birthday. Yeah, okay. I'm gonna hand my staff to Gus. Yep.

[01:10:54] I'm gonna pull out my grimoire and flip to page 196, which is where I keep- where I've got the, uh, the cantrip for, um, uh, uh, somebody at hand to reach, uh, books off of high shelves. Yeah. The common all those shelves. Which I'm going to, uh, adapt to grab the- The- Large quiver and the- Large quiver and the- The line below. Mm-hmm. With speed and much gusto. No. With- With precision. Yeah.

[01:11:24] So dungeon. So this one would actually be dungeon, because you're doing this with precision. I'm just holding your staff? Yeah. With what? You have the honor bestowed upon you- To hold his staff. To hold his staff. Wax it. Okay, I rolled a four, and I rolled a three. So those are my two hits. So that's under? Yeah. Well, one meets and one meets. Oh, one meets, yeah.

[01:11:51] Alright, so yeah, you, um, you get the hand, like, goes over there deathly and, like, picks up the quiver, so I turn it over. Um, and then, uh, you go to get the other one, and you need to make another roll for the, uh, uh, to get the, uh, the bow itself. Okay? Fucking love that metal, wasn't it? It is great. Actually, it sounds like a cow's off. It does? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[01:12:22] Two, five, and one is stuck in the tower. Send him another one down. Well, did it come down but the other one didn't? Oh, no, I guess it came down while I was banging and just didn't notice. Okay, there's a four, a two, and a two. So that's all hits. Yeah. So you imagine you grab the, uh, um, the bow as well, and, uh, like, she just continues

[01:12:50] snoozing, um, the Medusa, like, uh, creep monster. Uh, and you guys are at the archway to the next door, uh, to the next room. So. Okay. And the quick one. Yeah, you have her, her loot, basically. Her, uh, her quiver of arrows and, uh. We got a guitar too, guys. Did you hear that? Yeah. We got her loot. And yeah, you guys can just slip into the next room. Okay. Okay. Anyone's actually used a bow? Nope.

[01:13:19] I don't think anybody has a bow and arrow. There's no, like, proficiency in this. I don't think it matters. Exactly. If you want to use a bow, sure. You go into this room, and you're at the base of a tall- You're at the base of, like, another tall, like, tower-like thing, like, similar to the, uh, similar design to the, um, the library of Mimics. Uh, however, this one, instead of being, like, lined with, like, with bookshelves and scroll shelves and stuff like that, it's lined with prison cells along the staircase.

[01:13:44] And you see, you hear the murmur and moans and, uh, like, kind of just, like, wails of imprisoned monsters. Fire blasts down the hallway again. No, it's not a hallway. It's up. It's a tower. And, like, all the, all the prison cells, I'm pretty sure are all, like, locked. Mm-hmm. Nobody's trying to get out yet, so. He said- You'd have to walk past them, uh, going up to the next area.

[01:14:11] He said we heard whales, so I'd be like, oooooooo. Yeah, yeah. There's a little more notification. Yeah. It's like a whale lord. Hell yeah. Ooooooo-laaaaaaa. Ooooooo-laaaaa. Ooooooo-laaaaaa. That's, uh, so this one, you're not sure if there's a warden here, but this seems to be, like, some kind of, like, a prison tower.

[01:14:42] Seemingly locked to the prison. The sign says, welcome to demon reach. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just all crystals inside. Yeah. Dresden was here. So, yeah. Um, you, you, you're guessing, like, you guys might want to try and sneak past the doors, or maybe just, like, fine, just walk up there and you'll be, like, nobody can stop you. Sure. What are we doing? Unless you get any wardens here, so. I say just walk.

[01:15:10] Cause we don't know that they're locked or not. Yeah. I'm just gonna take the lead and start walking. Okay. I think that's a great idea. They're just gonna follow me. I will take the back. Thanks, coward. I appreciate it. I have a name. End up being very friendly right now. That's true. Coward? I just turned, yeah. Oh, God. I just had a two, well. Was that intentional the whole time? Yes. Totally. Yes. Yes, it was. Totally. He's a cow, he's a cowward.

[01:15:41] Alright, um, so if you're going to- I'm a cowward. Cowward. I'm still a ward, yeah. Okay. So, Eric, Mark, if you're, like, leading the charge, or is there, like, beating- I'm gonna, so, I'm going up. Yep. So, before I do, though, I am going to take the heavy scythe and I'm gonna imbue the blade with fire. Okay. So you're basically lighting your way. I'm just lighting my way with- Cause there's, there's a little bit of spotlight from up above, like, almost like, like, there's like, maybe probably like a grill, or like some kind of- Any burgers up there too? I have that. So, sorry.

[01:16:10] I'll lead the way my scales will glow as well, so they know where I'm going. Some grab her, these teeth are very shiny. Oh, nice. Alright, so make a dungeon roll to- Three. I got, like, right on the number. That's good. And yeah, you- You get to ask an additional question, right? Yeah. Because you rolled down the number. If you don't have a question, you don't have one.

[01:16:36] I have, so if we're going up, and we're going by these cells- Yeah, you're walking- As you're walking- Are we, is there anything interacting with me as we're going up? Am I able to like, am I like seeing what's in these cells as we're going? Yeah. And if they're, are they saying anything to me? Yeah, you're walking up the steps and like, all the bars- All the cells seem to be locked or like, nobody's near the bars.

[01:17:03] You do, with your light, you do see there are like bugbears and goblins and orcs and- There's even a mind flayer. But they're all like, away from the cell doors, like back to the wall, like to the far walls. And like looking, and kind of like looking, like as you walk by, they're like kind of like murmuring hushed tones. It's like, oh no, he's going to disturb the, he's going to disturb the warden. Yes, the warden. The warden's going to get him. That's not the warden.

[01:17:31] Like they're basically like, they seem to be nervous about somebody traversing that's not this warden. Can I talk to them? Yeah, you can talk to them. I'm going to talk- Which one do you want to talk to? I'm going to talk to the one that's like talking about disturbing the warden. They all are. I'm just going to walk up to the cell where there's someone that's like, holy shit, what the fuck are you doing? There's a mind flayer that you hear in your head like I'm talking to you. Are you aware what a mind flayer is? It's a squid headed- It's a squid head, yes. From Holder's Gate 3. Yeah, I have an idea.

[01:18:00] Yeah, he's just kind of like sitting there in the corner of his cell, like looking out at you as you're- He's like shaking, he's like nope. For those at home, Mark is beckoning him over with his finger. Yeah, and the mind flayer is like I'm not getting anywhere near that. You're not the warden. Well you're not the warden. Well who's the warden? It's the thing that watches us. Why- So what's the deal? Like why are you in here? Watch out for the warden.

[01:18:30] Watch out for the warden. Okay, so- In the eyes. In the eyes. Is there a way we could open these cells? Yeah, you can open them. Is he asking- So are you asking Chris or what the guy? I'm asking Chris. Yeah, yeah. You can- I'm gonna open the cell. You like- You like- Just like- It opens. It's- It's unlocked. Alright, I'm gonna open it. Oh, they don't- They don't- They don't totally. Yeah. I'm gonna go in.

[01:18:58] Somebody make another dungeon roll as he's doing this. Ah. Chris you do. Yeah, but it's a man. Yeah, Chris you haven't rolled that. So yeah, roll a dungeon roll. See- Uh, take- Roll two deaths. Roll two deaths. A success- Two successes and I get to ask questions? Okay. Uh, where-

[01:19:27] Where's the warden? Uh, well, so I- The light changes in the- Oh god, you just summoned him. As- I did. A large, bulbous head-like thing with eye stalks floating down- Oh, it's fucking- Oh, it's fucking- Reholding, yeah. Floating down the center of the tower and like- Starts to begin slowly descending and hovering right behind where- Um, Mark's character, uh- Orion is- Is standing after he's like- Moved the-

[01:19:57] Opened the cell door. Um, so yeah, you just- You guys all see- Uh, then quickly you guys all see this. This like- A beholder. Okay, so hold on. Beholder. Did you ask where the warden was out loud? Yeah. Ha. Then as soon as I see that, I get to wave my hand up and say- Behold! Ha ha ha! Alright, so I throw my cum chucks at its eye. Ha ha ha!

[01:20:28] Ha ha ha! Drag it! Ha ha ha! So that'd be, uh, Lizardman brain mercenary, so I can throw three. Yep. Oh! That's not- It hurts my brain! Right in its eye. Ha ha ha! Why do you have to say like that? You got to hold hold of your number. Over? Yeah. Uh, three successes? Okay. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Um, yeah, you don't get like- Uh. Just annual ice stalks. Like, it- It turns after- Uh, from- It- Don't make it go-

[01:20:57] Errrrrr! It hovers down and like is like about to like fucking wreck, uh, Mark's day. Um. But then, Aaron, uh, or Aaron's character, um, Crono, uh, like, behold! And it just like, uh, like, turns to like face like- Like, just like- Puns, really. Like, reacting to that puns. And then you just like, lov- Like, just like- Kompchunk! Kompchunk! Kompchunk's kill! And it just- It embeds into the minion's eye.

[01:21:27] It's like, ooooh! Ohhhh! It's just like flailing around, smashing walls. Uh, rocks are coming down on you guys. Everybody roll, um, dragon- Oh yeah, dragon, to get the fuck out of the way from falling rocks. Wow. Okay, so- Bonus, cause I'm a coward. The beholder is crashing down the tunnel, down to the bottom of the- Dragon, we have to get over? Hmm? Dragon, we have to get over. Dragon, we have to get over. And you can add any bonuses that make sense, like being a coward, right? Yeah.

[01:21:57] I got a one. Uh oh. I wanna cast a shield. Okay. Yeah. Well, you got one as in you got a hit. No. A success. No. I'm a two. Oh, okay. I got- I got three and two questions. Okay. I got one over. Four and four. Two questions. Oh, and it's dragon. Love the success. Okay. So, um, a large piece of rock does crush your leg. Um.

[01:22:27] I got it. Nice. Yeah, another limb has been crushed by the rock. However, as the rest of it comes out, it all starts bouncing off of a energy- of a magic shield that you are erected. Nice. Basically, uh, right in front of- My erection will save us all! My erection will save us all! Uh, and then, and then, um, meanwhile, the beholder- the monster is also cracking down, like, toward you guys. It's like- URGH! URGH! URGH! URGH! URGH! URGH!

[01:22:57] URGH! URGH! Okay, yeah! Yeah, yeah, cause it does fall- It starts crashing down below you, so you just leap down- I'm gonna leap, but I'm coming down with like a crown and I'm gonna just smash- Okay. It's my fire axe. Alright. I'm gonna get your fire sight to be- My fire sight, yes. So it's like- It's probably not like this, it's probably like- Yeah. Like you're slashing down like- Yeah. From, uh, gun to play.

[01:23:25] Um, is that dungeon or dragon? Uh, this would be dragon. Four. Four? Damn it. Hang on, no. Yeah, no, hang on. Slow down. Okay, yeah. So you rolled a four. What is your dungeon slash dragon knife? Three and three! Okay. So I rolled over- So you got one- What you say is you got one hit. I got one hit. You can roll more than one knife. Yeah, okay, so- So hang on. Do you have anything that makes sense that you would have more? He would have- Uh, his goal, actually. To- Kill monsters. Yep. So that would be- So roll another one.

[01:23:55] Five! That's over. I got a five and a three. Okay. And you're- So you got two over? I got all three over. Oh, okay. I either hit- What's the number? Three. Oh, okay. So I hit on- So I hit on, or over. Yeah, so with three success, yeah, you conquer. Come on, GM. These are yours, yes? Yes. Yeah. May I have one? Of course.

[01:24:20] So you come down on this beholder, um, with your flaming scythe, and just cut it in half. Hell yeah. Um, and uh, yeah. Yeah, it- it just splits in half, um, the, uh, nunchucks go flying. The what? Uh, cum chucks. Nunchucks, I'm not gonna do that. Nunchucks go flying. Oh my god.

[01:24:48] There's also, uh, some, like, it had- the beholder did have some piercings and stuff, so like, made of the core falcum, that, um, like, greenish, like, glowing metal. And they kinda- they, they, uh, sort of, like, spill out down over the ground as well. Uh, and you just basically, like, I guess, ding off of his, uh, of Aaron's, uh, energy shield, and then, like, land into a pile of awful- of awful, of awful, and guts.

[01:25:13] And, like, just, like, crushed egg- a crushed eyeball and, like, cut up, uh, like, um, beholder. Splats against the side of it and then it streaks down, like, uh, like, uh, like, uh, like, exactly, yeah. Oh! Oh, I gave him the money show! And then, as you hit the bottom, like, this horrible splat sound, uh, you hear from the other room, it's like, huh? What was that? Where the fuck's my bow? Uh-oh. As you hear- I totally- I don't- totally don't have it on my back. Yeah.

[01:25:42] Uh, well, you guys are also like- a couple of you guys are like, probably like a third up- a third way up the stairs. I don't know. Just yell down the warden stone! So, when you look through into the other room, you can see that the- the- the Medusa-like monster is, like, waking up from the- the sound. It's like, Gregory! But I- What's up? What happened? So I killed- so I killed Gregory? Yeah, you killed Gregory. Did I eat Gregory? I'm eating Gregory. I'm eating the- roll to see if you accidentally eat the kumchuks. Don't-

[01:26:11] I need the kumchuks! He needs those bags. One. You don't eat the kumchuks. Okay. Sweet. Uh, however, you have caught the attempt- like, she's like, Gregory- and she looks- she looks at you, you look at her, make a- a dungeon roll? Oh no. Make a dragon roll? To look away quickly. Cause she's like a Medusa. Six. Six? If it's a dragon. Yeah. So you- Okay, so I'm over.

[01:26:39] You quickly look away as you realize, oh shit, that's a Medusa. And like, you hear her just start like hissing like a snake and just start like slithering very like, uh, very powerfully. I'm gonna keep my eyes closed. Mm-hmm. But I'm gonna put fire out in front of me. Okay. Question, are we all down at the bombers? You guys are like- you guys are probably like a third up the- That's what I'm trying to ask. So, um, Orion, as I look at the character list, is on the bottom floor- Yeah. With dead Gregory.

[01:27:08] A pile of Gregory. Yes. With Gregory's in my mouth. Gross. Not all of you in your mouth. He was a big guy. I got a frickin' tentacle out of Gregory's in my mouth. Yeah, you were getting an eye stalk. Okay. And the rest of us are like a third of the way up of the staircase? Just on the staircase? And you can hear like a screaming Medusa slithering toward the- And I'm- Just got base. I wanna light the hallway on fire. Okay. So dragon- Yeah, we're all dragon. I will be assisting you once he's gone. Two. Two?

[01:27:39] Um, yeah, yeah, no, like you- She's not dead, but she's like basically- No, no, he rolled a two. Oh, you failed. Okay, yeah. I failed. Okay, sorry. So, yeah, the way to tell the numbers is- Basically, you know the number in your head, it's a three. Yeah. So if you're trying to roll over it, and you don't, you say I missed. I missed. I missed. I missed. You go to, like, Unleash Flame, not a whole lot comes out, probably because you're busy eating a pot-to. You got a lot of- There's too much gorn in my mouth.

[01:28:08] Yeah, you got a lot of too much gorn in my mouth. Yeah, you got a lot of too much gorn in my mouth. Yeah, exactly. He just popped out pits of Gregory. Yeah. So, meanwhile, halfway up, or like a third up the stairs, Gus, you're like, you're like broken. Yeah. Like crushed under a rock. As I'm peeling the rock off. Yeah. Or I will attempt to peel the rock off, rather. I need to realize- You can- Yeah, you can- I can do it? Yeah, you can. Okay, cool. I need to realize I can roll more than one dice most of the time. Yeah, you gotta think about whether you can add something to that. Yeah, I remember- You don't just roll one die. You-

[01:28:38] With your Dragon Breath, you could technically roll twice. Or like roll twice. Oh, okay, I didn't even- Okay, I could roll twice. Yeah, you have to think about- Is there anything written on this sheet that I can bullshit and say I get more dice because of that? Right, so I should've rolled two. Okay, I'll try to remember that right. That's fine. It's not really a weapon, but I wanna throw my cockpit at her eye. Jesus. You can't because you're not in brain. Oh my god. Damn it! I thought it was a dog round.

[01:29:06] I'm sorry you laughed so hard, I farted! It probably picked up on recording to be perfectly honest. Mark Fartin? Yeah. Yeah. Everyone evacuate. Get the fan going! I'm so sorry! Actually I should. I did not mean for that to happen! Fuck Martin. He laughed so hard. That is the case. I hate how I'm sitting like the closest to him as well. Don't make me laugh at my feet again!

[01:29:37] Anyway, so, Gus is injured. I pulled the rock off. Oh no. Has he- So his leg is broken? Yes. It's definitely in several different angles and also like flat. Okay. And not in a comedic like, cartridge for you. Okay. So what do you want to do? I would like to offer him some of my high quality grass that was grown at the temple for his healing benefits because it's that good. Yeah? It's blessed holy grass. It's that good. It's that good. Don't worry man, here.

[01:30:07] Have some grass. You'll feel a lot better. I'm going to roll it up. Is that like lighting it? Yeah. Local priest drug dealer. Yeah, a little bit. Alright, alright. I'll leave it. Okay. You sure you can. When you're in your breath you just go. Me? Yeah. So what would I be rolling? One plus the priest-ish thing? Yep. Okay. Wait. Wouldn't you roll another because it's a gear? No.

[01:30:37] No. One because you're in the middle of a risky situation and also because this is involving your priestly stuff, I love that. Well it's one base plus extra stuff. Yeah. So it's one plus priest plus tool? No. The tool part is part of the priest thing. Okay. Okay. Okay. And I'm rolling dragon? No, dungeon. Dungeon? Okay. Under. I did not roll under. I rolled very high. The highest possible.

[01:31:07] It's just grass. Maybe it doesn't work out. Oh my god. Damn it. Can we ask the wizard to help you? Either way, I'll help. I'll at least assist him. Silence. Nope. I'm out of here. I'm trying to think of a spell name. Oh, I see. I understand. I don't know. Just make up a random one.

[01:31:37] Peter Dinkley. Peter Dinkley. Peter Dinkley. What? The healing spell. Peter Dinkley. What was the name of your, um, of your healer? Peter Dinkley. Mine? Yeah. Colin Davids.

[01:32:04] I'm gonna cast Colin Davids aggressive splint. I'm sorry. This one hurts. Oh god. Okay. Make it into a roll. Chris. Whoa! Where does the aggressive splint go? Oh, right. It's his leg. He's got a broken leg. Right. Sorry. My mind's in the gutter this evening. When is it not? Chris, you've been done an hour ago. Is that a gun genius? Oh my god. Is it a gun genius? Two hits. Two hits?

[01:32:34] Okay. You manage to, they just manifest these splints and then just attach aggressively to your legs. Yeah. To your leg in purpose. It really hurts. So I can walk and run again? Yeah. I mean it hurts but you're not like, it's not detrimental. But it's just like ow ow ow ow. Yeah. Alright, alright. You're not like, but you're actually mobile now. And you might want to start running up the stairs because that Medusa is coming right through that doorway. Attacking far behind you. He's at the very bottom. I'm at the very bottom.

[01:33:03] I asked Orion to grab my Comchucks. Grab my Comchucks! Yeah. I need that. I need that. So what do you want to do there Mark? You're at the bottom of your head. I'm going to try and attach. Okay. I know I can't see, but I'm going to maybe try and use some other senses to try and figure this out for glory. You just can't look in her eyes. You can look at like her tail. If you're trying to be smart about this, that'll actually be a dungeon.

[01:33:29] So make, so this would be one base and then... Oh your base, your base. I suppose this is, what's your wild right? Yes. And then your roll as a knight. Yes. Knight and he's a creature killer. Okay, so you can roll 2 die 6. 2? So that's a success. That's not very good. That's a fail. So I got a success and a fail. You did get a success and a fail, that's fine. You only did one success.

[01:33:59] So you managed to... What are you trying to do? I'm going to attack with my fire axe. You mean your scythe? Your fire scythe. My fire scythe, yes. Fire axe, yeah. If you say it enough, it's going to manifest into a fire axe. I joking. Yeah. This is dat world. That's how that works. Fire scythe. I'm going out there with my fire scythe. Okay. Yeah, you managed to... Like, you know where she's... Like, you can't really see it, but you can like hear where she's coming from and some of that. So you just like slash that direction.

[01:34:27] And you hear her scream as you like embed your scythe into her, but you can't get it out. You try and she's like... Either she's holding onto it or she's holding onto it or she's holding onto it. I'm going to try... No. It's a snake. So I got her stuck with the scythe. No. Alright, I'm going to come across with the hull bread. I'm going to see if I can go for a kill shot on the head. Martin? You said it again! Okay. It's a hull bread. I'm going to tell you... It's not bread. You cannot eat it. Okay. It's a hull bird. Hull bird.

[01:34:57] Think of a tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet. Okay. It's a tweet, tweet in the hall. Okay. I'm going to tweet, tweet. Okay. It's like... Chimp, chimp, chimp, chimp, chimp, chimp, chimp. I'm going to chip, chimp, chimp, chimp this person in the head with my... With my... Hull bird. There you go. Didn't Mark also pick the kumchucks up? No. Okay. They're still somewhere down there. I don't think Chris, if you want your kumchucks back, you're going to go down there. They're surprisingly sticky. He doesn't want to touch them. Yeah. He'll just like whistle them back to me. Alright, so am I rolling more?

[01:35:25] Am I rolling for dungeon or dragon here? This one would be dragon because you're like... Six. So what? Success. And then I'm going to roll again. Yep. You got a success. Three. Another success. Okay. Yeah, you... Wow. You just like... She's screaming and then her head just lobs off. You... You like... Oh, it's all safe. I'm going down for my kumchucks. That's why. I'm going down. Just what? The... My kumchucks are dildos, yeah? Yes.

[01:35:53] So whenever he uses them, he uh... Helicopter. A little bit. What? Helicopter. I just want to hear his flip flops going downstairs. I know that is. Anyway, show me. I can't. You take your dick and roll it and spin it around. You got helicopter. Helicopter. Now I go like... Show me. I'm gonna give me a kick to you. Okay, yeah. So yeah, you cut off the head of the Medusa. Um, her scream is cut short and she...

[01:36:21] And her head just kind of goes like rolling away. Hell yeah. Alright. So... So I'm gonna... You okay down there? Bye. I'm gonna start kind of gathering my food, but I'm taking the head as a trophy. Okay, yeah. Mm-hmm. So there you go. I did call down to you asking if you're okay. I'm fine! Okay. We're all fine here. I just killed everything. I'm eating it now. Is the warden dead? You killed the second thing. I killed the first thing. He didn't even tell us there was a second thing.

[01:36:51] So for all I know, he was telling me I'm fighting the warden. We didn't know. Well, we didn't hear her. You guys just like... What did she say? ...peat your head over the stairs. She's calling for Gregory. You just see me like eating Gregory. He's just like... Oh my god. Ripping out chunks of like a Medusa. Who the fuck is Gregory? He's the boulder that you threw your cum chucks into. I'm just gonna... Okay, so the other two, I'm gonna roll to toss his cum chucks back up to him. Yeah, yeah, go for it. Yeah. So is that dragon or dungeon? It can't be in my mouth. It can't be in my mouth.

[01:37:22] I just rolled a six. Yeah. Whoop! I was gonna say like Thor's hammer but yeah. He was like... He was just like... Right into my mouth. What? I'm gonna be like... Run this. No. It's gonna be so great when you have to draw his character. You're not gonna draw any of his character. Hey, hey Mike, I'm the... Chris, this is the most normal like rationalized character. You're fine. You did nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong.

[01:37:51] Did Mark just call you Mike? Did you just call him Mike? No, I said... No, I said... Dude, I've done... No. I said Mark has done nothing wrong. Oh, okay. Alright, so you guys managed to... After that, you start climbing up the stairs. Again, weirdly enough, the prisoners here are still not willing to test their luck and leave their cells. So, like you guys can keep walking down up here. Are you saying that a little testy? Let's see what loot there is at the top when you guys get to the warden's like level...

[01:38:20] Like his warden's like little like perch. Mm-hmm. Let's see what loot he had. As we're walking up, I'm sure we're making small talk like... So you killed both of them by yourself? Right. As I talked to Orion. There is a... You're nine feet tall and can't do that? I'm a priest, bro. A priest? A priest? There is this... Skill issue. Yeah. So there's... At the very top, there's this ornate, like finely crafted treasure chest. Mm-hmm.

[01:38:49] Like off in the corner of this like... What looks like basically like a little nest, nesting area where the beholder probably lived. Mm-hmm. And it appears to have a lock... Like a massive like... A master craft lock on it. Oh! It could be a mimic though. It could be. Let's find out. I'll use my cockpit. Oh god, he has the right tool for this! You get bonuses for that? But I thought he was a settling towards you. So one die...

[01:39:18] So Christmas would be one die six plus your preparedness at one die... What... what... what... what's your class like? A mercenary? Yeah, I'd be like... You would do something. You would do something. So I hate to ask... What does the cockpit look like? What do you think of the cockpit? Oh, I need to ask! I like... Unfortunately... I'm gonna go... I like to see the visual. I'm gonna go with two balls, a log shaft... It looks like... Yeah, it looks like a fully erect cock. Uh...

[01:39:48] Sorry. It curves to the left a little bit. Or the right. Whichever way you flip it, you know? Is it... is it properly landscape? These gates are just a little bit of bush. No, no, no, no, no. It's bald. Oh, god. Does it have a ball cap for cover? I got... You have to roll under your number. I got... I got one. One success. One success? Alright. Uh... You get the first... You get the main lock off. However, as the lock comes... Like...

[01:40:16] As it drops off of the chest, it reveals two nozzles that then begin spouting acid directly on whoever's in front of the chest. Oh, shit. So, you manage to unlock it, however the trap turned. Okay. So, uh, you are, um, splashed with acid. Ah! Your cockpit is melted. No! I'll fuck you. It can be revived with the power of Viagra. Maybe I can make this feel better with the blue tube. Viagra's erectus.

[01:40:46] So, yeah, he is... he is partially, like, harmed by the... I left my dick down some... I have Paul locks checked. You didn't wrap it. You need to go get tested. I love that you're getting rid of the tool. Yeah, watch. I got rid of one. One of those aids. Help him, that's fine, but... Mm-hmm. Okay, so, the trap, is it still spraying acid? No, it's the worst of your problems. It unloads it. You're not helping. Nope. You're really not helping the matter here. And you open up...

[01:41:15] The chest opens up after a click... After it's done expelling its acid. Um... And, uh, you guys find... Hold on. No, I'm re-rolling that one. Oh. Fuck you. Fuck you. Stop doing that. A tool renewal. Another cockpit. Don't worry, guys, I found another one! You find, inside the chest, there is a, uh... This one's this big. A...

[01:41:43] It is a skull made from various jewels and, like, precious gems and metals and such. It's entirely made of... It's completely constructed from that. And it begins talking, it's like, Hello, thank you for framing me. Would you like to know what, uh, what lies beyond? Can we fuck it? No! You're scrubbing the cum chuck. No! He's gonna slowly push his face out of frame right now.

[01:42:12] Oh, God. Um, yes, I would like to know more. A small ritual, uh, ritual chamber, where they are sacrificing, uh, where many of, many kobold-like cultists are, are sacrificing, uh, a young maiden to their, uh, profane god. What god? Um... That, I do not know. How dare you make a guess of that? Okay, so, this thing is, this thing is still talking, yes? Yes, yes. I'm really annoyed with it, so this is what I'm gonna try and do. Why? I'm gonna try and do this.

[01:42:42] It's only been helpful. You've done nothing. It's literally only been helpful. It's annoying me, it's annoying, it's annoying the dragon knight. I'm gonna grab the head of Medusa and try and turn it to stone. Why would you do this? I want the gems. We have a skull! It's all made of... You realize... Okay. You're shooting the hostage in this situation, like. Roll, roll, roll, roll a dice. Let him do it, let him do it. Why? Is this dungeon? No, this is dragon. I want to interrupt him and stop him. It's a one! It's a fail!

[01:43:10] You fail to, and you realize, but if that had succeeded, the gems would also turn to fucking stone. That's why I'm just gonna have you guys turn, it's like, dude, this is annoying me, like. Leave the room, dude! I'm gonna leave the room, I'm gonna go stand outside. He's literally done nothing. I'll stand in the back! This is the most helpful thing we have ran into in at all. He's literally just going after it. The fucking starrys on the sky. Oh, it's okay. I forgot you were here until just now.

[01:43:40] He just called me out! I'm gonna go back to eating. I'm just gonna eat some stuff. Just stay in the corner and eat. Just to get over it. Oh my god. I just had an issue with it for no reason. He hasn't killed anything in a minute. Yeah, the guy did just say, apparently the next room is a ritual room where a bunch of cobalt cultists are trying to sacrifice some young maiden to a god. So maybe you should go in there and stop them. We should maybe stop that. Yes, perhaps you should!

[01:44:08] Okay, what's going on right now? Yes! How long has this been going on for? How'd you know this? Days. It's a long ritual. Fair. How long? You tend not to question things when you're a dungeon born creature. I understand. Okay, thanks. What? Do you want to stay? Do you want to come with us? I don't know. Orion's pretty annoyed with you.

[01:44:37] That's the reason we have to bring you. So, uh, yeah. Can I come guys, please? Yeah. I don't think you can. You're just a hit. Not that. I hate it. Did I say you're away from him? Sure. What's annoying? What's trying to screw it? What hates him? What loves him? Loves him way too much. What the lizard people in this world? Yeah, that's what it is. It's just sad.

[01:45:06] Hey, I'm the most behaved one here. We are, however, severely damaged individuals. Alright, so you guys can walk into the next room. It's turning a new leaf. You see, like, large bracers, like, sparrow around the room. It's pretty close-knit room. It's, like, no bigger than the different room. Probably, like, twenty-three by twenty feet. Um, and yeah, it's a very circular room. There's bracers on the outer edge illuminating it.

[01:45:32] And in the center, there are about a dozen kobolds, uh, in cloaks and hoods. Um, basically around an altar where there is a half-naked lady. Um, probably 20s or 30s. Human? Yeah, human. Um, figure like, you know the girl from King Kong? Mm. Like, Nicole Kidman. Yeah. Or Naomi Watts. Naomi Watts looking, uh, um, damsel of distress. It's Pauline from DK.

[01:46:02] Yeah, exactly. From Donkey Kong. Exactly, yeah. Um, and then, you know what? Fucking Jane Goodall. You know what, Dave? It actually is. No, no, no. The kobolds are chanting, D-K, Donkey Kong! They're doing the DK rap? Yeah, exactly. Hell yeah. As they are apparently trying to sacrifice this maiden to Donkey Kong. Okay, which one's got the knife? Uh, all of them. How many? Yes.

[01:46:28] A dozen kobolds have knives raided, like, it's just cause they're just gonna all stab at once. I think Gus needs to do something here. Yeah. Yeah, I think we- They're small. You're both all, you're all small. Well, no, I was gonna say- I was gonna say we meck up. Oh, we can meck up! Yeah, you guys have to me. We can meck it up. Yeah, alright, alright, alright. We can meck some shit up. I know. We're gonna roll the same dice? We have to, we have to. We have to. Should we roll it on the same train, actually? Yeah, you're just gonna meck out. Okay, we're gonna meck out. Come on, Jager. Ready? And go.

[01:46:58] Aw, damn. It was a five and a two. Aw, I'm gonna cast a spell. Okay. Synchronicity. I will allow for a reroll. Roll that, roll the same if it succeeds, and if it does, you guys can reroll. This is so stupid. It's gotta happen. Or should I roll be like we both have to succeed? Or does it have to be the same roll? That's four. Alright, you guys can reroll. Okay.

[01:47:28] You know what? Here. Give me yours. I'll roll yours. You can take mine. I'll roll yours. You can take mine. We got this. Ehhh! Two and a one! Sorry, they tried. Yeah. It was way closer. Did either of yours match either of his? From the previous roll? Yeah. Oh, fuck. I don't remember. Okay, we had a five and a two and then a two and a one. So you're a five, I'm a two. Oh, so we both rolled a two at one. We did.

[01:47:58] Because my spouse should have given the most- Yes, I will all that, yeah. That's true. Yeah, because we should have rolled a second, not re-roll. Yeah. So it takes like a moment but then suddenly you guys like synchronize. Yes. You think in one and then it just, it's a, yeah, you guys are drift compatible. Hell yeah. So you got an axe in one hand and a giant hammer in the other. Mm-hmm. Yeah. As you're just holding onto the horns. Yeah. What's funny is also, you're walking, like, can't it mind me walking? Yeah.

[01:48:27] In the same motion as, uh, as, uh... So wait, I think I used his horns to steer and his ears to like gas and... Yes! Yes! And then just use your mind to tell me to attack or die. Yeah. But your eyes are closed because you're so scared. Yes, yeah, 100%. I know, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You are so scared. You are his eyes. Like, you, you put your faith in, in, uh... Do your horns now independently move? Yes, actually.

[01:48:57] They do. Yeah, absolutely do. Oh my god. Oh my god. That's amazing. Yeah, yeah, you're just like, you're just... Just marching. Yeah. Don't worry guys, we got this. Yeah. I got a fucking tower shield. You started, what, was it a hammer or an axe? Uh, once a hammer, once an axe. Oh, I'm doing well in your way. You should have said yes. You should have said yes, it's a maul. Yeah. Oh yeah, I am. You start acting like an axe. Like, I'm just swinging. Like, I'm just swinging. Wait, Dave. Does this mean you're a mook? I don't know what it means.

[01:49:26] That sounds like... What? That sounds like a slur. We're just throwing slurs out now. Like a... Yeah. It's actually a word for mook. But, also it's moook. Like moo-me. Yeah. I'm sorry, you guys can be puzzled, but I am fucked you! I didn't say it was... That was a sigh of, I should have realized that. What would it sound like? You said it backwards. Ha ha ha! How dare you. That's very fun. Thank you. So there's like a dozen cobaltons you said?

[01:49:56] Yep, a dozen cobaltons and cloaks. We just start swinging at those dozens. Alright, yeah. Do I have to rule anything? Yeah. Um... Are you saying anything? Are we saying anything? Because when you say it, I... We need a... We need a phrase. That's for sure. Like, what we say when we power up. Bullseye! You know what? Kinda. I feel like that. Geronimo. Geronimo. Geronimo. Move over.

[01:50:25] Thank you. Looking up cow puns right now. I think it's just any of those. We just come up with new ones all the time. Yeah. Just anything off the dome. My sounds are not tolerant. We just need a good one-liner anytime we make up. Not only it matters. Tell you what, if you guys can come up with a saying, like, you guys can both say it, at the same time. I'm not in this. You get an extra die six. Oh my god. I am not taking part in that. That's fine. You guys are just watching. Like, you're eating. You're having dinner in a show. I want nothing to do with this.

[01:50:57] Like, I love the power of friendship. This is too much for me. This is too much friendship. This is too much friendship. It's like I have a gas pedal in it. Yeah. We are legendary. Okay. That's a good one. That's a good one. Legend. That is fucking legendary. We are legend. Wait for it. Dary. That's a good one. You can get a d6 on your roll. I have a yeah.

[01:51:25] We're totally doing How I Met Your Mother with Dungeons and Dragons. So, one and then an extra. I'm rolling your extra actually. Okay. Yeah, you roll the extra and then he rolls the extra. So, would it also go with my gold? Hm? Because it would go with my gold. Yes, you get another d6. And then what about my two tools that he's using? That would also. So, you roll two and you roll one. Okay. There we go. I need a second. Oh yeah. And then whenever you like kill somebody. Yellow anything. You got yellow.

[01:51:55] You got it. I need to hit. What is it? Dragon? You're rolling dragon and you're using his, because he's the one that's like piloting, you're using his target. So, I'm trying to roll dragon? Yeah. Over two. You got it. I got a six and a one. But a six is this. I got a six and a two. We almost rolled the same thing bro. That is three successes. You conquered. You guys just walk, how does it look? Hell yeah. How do you guys just like walk in and just sweep the room. Literally that's all we do. We just demolish.

[01:52:23] Cool for the summer, like the, the, the tick tock variant that like, uh, Pacific Rim, like, like, uh, music videos play to. Yeah. Starts playing in the background. With the, with the Pacific Rim theme music. They're probably like running in there, like dragging the weapons. They're running through the cold. Like see what you guys, like see, finally notice you guys like, it's running. And they're just swept away. Yeah. We're just like, like swing. Like, like come around spinning. Swing again. Swing, swing, swing, swing. We're like, we're doing helicopter. All the way around.

[01:52:55] Yeah. Spin to win basically. Just doing a donut around. Yeah. It's over in a few seconds. Yeah. It's like in, uh, in, uh, For Honor. Yes. When there's a horde of little minions that all die in one hit. And you're just doing your area attack over and over. Yup. Yup. Yup. There you go. Cut the, uh, the, the maiden free. Yeah. Oh, we, no, we took her out too. Oh my God. The power of friendship. I see.

[01:53:23] You cut, you, you kind of like sneak past as like the car just happened. You, you cut free the, uh, the maiden's like, oh, oh, thank you. Thank you so much. Um, oh, that took, that was taking, that was, that was taking forever. Yeah. I understand it was a really long ritual. Yeah. Geez. Um, okay. So I guess I'm gonna follow you guys then? Uh, yeah, sure. Stay with, uh, what's his name? The little golden statue. Oh yeah.

[01:53:53] Sandy Ravage. Sandy Ravage. You can stay with him. Sandy Ravage. Uh, you met Sandy Ravage. Oh Sandy, hey, how's it going? Hi there, Wendy. What's the skull's name? Fuck. Is it Raine? That's not his name. No, no, but, it's actually Raine. No, it's not Raine. It's just, it's just the breeze. Yeah. It's actually a really nice breeze. Um. Why don't I open the. Yeah, why not? Please, holy fucking fuck. Why not? Okay, so I'm not the only one. Yeah. No, no.

[01:54:23] Chris likes it hot. Yeah. Um. Family Jews. What's the name for a skull? Skuller. Skulletor. I was gonna say Skeletor, yeah. Not Skeletor. No. Skulletor. Skulletor. I said no. Say hello to my big boner. My name's Skulletor. No, Skulletor. Skulletor. Skulletor. I'm sure you came up with that name first, obviously. Headmaster. Oh, that is.

[01:54:52] Fuck, that is actually a bad guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. Skulletor Headmaster. Skulletor the Headmaster? Yeah. Skulletor the Headmaster. Nice. Um. Yeah. They also know each other. That will also set him up to be able to like, have him like, put us on challenges for weird rewards that we bring in? Yeah. Sure. Taskmaster reference. Oh. Yeah. Oh, he was also doing Greg. Taskmaster. Oh yeah. That's right.

[01:55:22] So, so that's okay. Headcanon. Gregory, the Beholder, kind of looked like Greg from Taskmaster, the British show. Sorry, he's a skull? Uh, the talking skull from earlier, yeah. Headcanon. Cannon that shoots a head. As an in front of you? Yes. Boo! I like it.

[01:55:53] I know what my next spell is. There you go. Just load Skulletor into the spell. No, you know, for whenever we go back to Isekai, that should be one of your cannons for your ship. Oh, it shoots the heads of your enemies? Yeah. It's all headshots. That's too good. Oh man. We're going to put a lot of good ideas here tonight. Yeah. This is gold. Yeah, so after that, like, she's very grateful.

[01:56:22] Um, you guys have found in this room, aside from the, amongst the bodies of the kobolds, uh, you find, uh, emotional support sword. Yeah, no, you find an emotional support sword. Oh, do we? It literally says, as inscribed in Elvish, emotional support. I'm just going through the bodies to get snacks. You're just eating. You're just eating. I'm probably looking like a dagger in it. I don't know. But, but it's an Elvish sword. Yeah. So it should be mine. Yeah, it should be.

[01:56:51] Because I'm an elf. Yep. Uh, and then there is a, you guys look, suddenly there's a, it wasn't there before, but suddenly there's a, uh, there's one final archway. Um, uh, and actually Skulletor, the headmaster's like, ah, that is the final, uh, the final chamber, uh, last ahead. And that, and, and the, there's a word inscribed on the arch. It says, no, it says nemesis. Okay. Arch nemesis. Oh, fuck.

[01:57:20] D&D5, you're, you're going to be getting his bandage. Yeah, that was good. Yeah, I can't be mad. No one got it immediately, but as soon as you got, it's like, I can't be mad. I can't be mad at all. You guys are just expecting a dick joke. Honestly, yeah. So, you do have, you have a tendency. And then you guys walk into the, so you, you go through the, uh, arch. Oh, almost, I almost choked there. Yeah, the arch nemesis. That was bad. Um, and you, it opens up the room.

[01:57:48] It's kind of like a liminal space, cause it's like rolling hills outside, but like, the, like, as you, you look a little bit harder, and like the, the, the clouds aren't moving to be clearly painted on some kind of like barrier or like, oh, like some kind of like ceiling. So it's like a, a skybox kind of effect. But like, it has a very liminal space, like kind of like rolling hills, um, kind of like outdoorsy look feel to this room or this, this chamber. Um, and in the center of it, there is a large crystalline dragon.

[01:58:17] Um, and, uh, it just begins shooting out beams of light from its, uh, from its mouth. Uh, so you say it's crystalline as in like semi-transparent? Uh, yeah, no, it's made from, uh, it appears to be made from, from amethyst. And it's animated. Like purple, yes. Uh, like, it's not completely made of crystal, it's like, but it's got, uh, large shards of, of amethyst, like basically like jutting through, like, jutting through. So it's still fleshy. Yeah, so part of it is still fleshy, but it is, it, this is, it appears to be a crystal dragon. Oh, okay.

[01:58:45] Of the amethyst variety. Amethyst is purple, right? Hmm? Amethyst is purple, yes. Okay. Uh, yeah, it is unleashing torrents of, of purple light, um, from its, uh, its mouth. Uh, as it, as it seems to be beating its wings, uh, outward and, and ready to start, take flight to head toward you guys. It's starting to rave. I use my potion. Okay, what's your potion? Ooh, friendship potion. Ooh! What does that do? What do you think it does? Makes him a friend. Hug that bitch out.

[01:59:15] Yeah, how, yeah, do you have, do you have to consume it or do you have to like throw that at him, like lob it at him? I think, I think to make sense, probably throw it at him. Okay. Oh God. Um, sploosh. I better not. Are you gonna talk to him first or are you gonna just go for it? He's flying right at us. He's flying, he's dying. He's like, he's taking flight and he's starting to make, do it. No. I think he's about to take flight. No, he's out of, we're good. Probably have a good shot. Okay. You're just cinematic.

[01:59:44] Can I use my gore to get another one? No, no, no, no, no. If you're spending your potion, you can roll 3 die 6. Oh shit. Plus 1 die 6 for, to do something risky. And what's your, wild is your, uh, what's your, uh, what's your, uh, single-minded. Single-minded, um, I suppose, yeah. He could hit, yeah. Get friendship. He just wants to make friends. Yeah, he just want to, yeah. How many does he need total? So 5 dice. 5. Whoa. It's a dragon? Or, yeah, dragon?

[02:00:14] Yeah, this would be dragon, cause you're like, trying to, like, using your strength to, like, walk. Um. Although, I could make the, the, I could make the, it could be dungeon because you're trying to be precise. If you're trying to hit. Uh. Maybe it would be objects approaching you. Should I re-roll? No. Well, it's just, you'd be choosing what, what is going to be over under. I have three successes. For what? For over dragon. Over dragon? Okay, that's fine. So you just like throw it at me.

[02:00:38] Uh, yeah, no, it, you like, lob it at this, the potion at this, uh, dragon and it cut, like, head on. It's about to unleash a torrent of, like, purple light at you guys. And it just, like, goes right down its gullet. Yeah, yeah. And then it's just swallowing it. Do you say a cool one-liner before you throw it? Um. Get fucked by the power of friendship? I don't know. What? Okay. I'm fine with that.

[02:01:04] Uh, and it just, like, it, like, gulps and then starts kind of, like, hovering there for a moment, like, as it's confused. And then it slowly descends down and is like, my word, I'm sorry for, uh, for, like, I don't care to be angry anymore. This dragon, make him sick. Oh my god, yeah. This is frickin' sick. He's leaving all the time.

[02:01:35] Constantly leaving. He talks, yeah. He transforms from a crystal dragon to a human form that lays a blonde pad with glasses and a sea of love. Purple suit. Yeah, absolutely. Dragon, make him your friend immediately. Yes. That potion was frickin' sick. My god. What is your name? Guster. Guster, that's frickin' sick. Whoever named you must have been frickin' sick.

[02:02:04] Like, everything he says is frickin' sick. You really love that potion that made me with gusto. My god. What can I help you with? Where's your treasure? Oh, it's right over here. Yeah. Yeah. Watch you guys over a hill. And yeah, you see a- Let's see what the dragon has done. Do you have the staff of friendship? What? The staff of friendship!

[02:02:34] Do you find several large crates of amethyst dragon eggs? Ooh! We found crate dragons? No, no, no. Not crate dragons, but like large- Crates of dragons. I'm eyeing him right now because I'm seeing those eggs and it's just like, I'm a dragon. Oh, that's- Yeah, it's like, oh yes, this is my board of uh, my children. Yes. Alright. They're magnificent.

[02:03:05] No, that's sick, yes. It'll grow to be frickin' sick. Yes, of course. Mmm. I really don't like where this is going. What do you mean? We made friends! I can literally ride this bitch if you wanna get here. Probably. You don't wanna ride me. What? Not you. I'm a dragon, don't ride me. We can't be real dragons. We're not that kind of dragon. I'm a nine foot tall dragon. We're lizard people, this is a dragon dragon. Where's the next room, do you know? No, this is it. This is the center of the dungeon.

[02:03:34] Oh shit. You succeeded with great shoot, yes. Oh, how do we exit the dungeon and show that we actually defeated it? Oh, right this way, yes. I'm walking around with the head of Medusa, like I've got trophies. Can I ask him to come with us if you always have a drink at the tavern? Of course. I'd love to see outside Medusa. Do you always stay in here?

[02:04:02] I've been here since I was created, when the fracturing happened. Oh wow. So he's a bartender? Uh, no. When I said fracture, so he's an asshole. There are a lot of dragons in this. These are friends. It turns out this whole adventure was just a, or like what just went on was a flashback. Like this is the dragon that owned that tavern. No, no, so as you guys are like walking, as he's walking you, like, and are you guys taking any of the dragon eggs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't seem like too bad.

[02:04:32] Like, please save some of them. How many are there? There's like a dozen. We'll take six. We'll take six, half of them. Oh, very well. He basically, he explains that like him and like the other Dungeodes are the result of like a larger, like, like kind of er-crystal dragon or like a, like perhaps like a... Ulmer? Perhaps a dragon god of some kind of crystals.

[02:04:58] That fractured into a whole bunch of, like countless of it, like smaller dungeon dragons. And so they've been kind of just stuck in like wherever they've landed. And they've just kind of been waiting here. Like toiling in their fractaling dungeons. I really like that his horde was also friendship. Yeah. His own friendship with like with his family basically.

[02:05:24] So I rolled a bag or box full of new friend. Describe them. Wow, again! I'm only rolling like ones or sixes. That's awesome. It's so thematic to like us. Yeah, absolutely. Team friendship over here. Yeah, so you guys walk out of this with like, with a gold statue, a two-foot gold statue with jewels of Macho Man Randy Savage. Yes. Sandy Ravage. Yes. A talking skull. A talking skull. Gold bag. A bejeweled talking skull, by the way. Yes.

[02:05:54] And then a human dangel in like her 30s named, give her a name? Wendy? Yeah, Wendy. Name Wendy. She's a peach. That gold bag. You have that gold bag. You have six amethyst dragon eggs. And this dragon who, he calls himself Titus. He's a friend. Friendship. I remember friendship.

[02:06:22] Friendship is freaking sick. And you guys, you find like basically an opening kind of like peels open from the skybox, the wall where the skybox starts like up to the ground. And you guys get back into the Kral region of Tufa Minor and begin heading back to the Kral Dad. Wow.

[02:06:45] And you get back and Sarda is like, Titus? Like, shit, like you guys didn't kill Titus? You son of a bitch. Yeah, you guys didn't kill Titus? Why would we do that? He's friend. Alright, yeah. He's friendship. Most of the time adventurers like kill the dragon at the center of the dungeons. Sounds like Sarda is Sarda. Yeah. And you guys killed Samantha, alright. And I just put like Medusa back on. And I got pieces of Gregory.

[02:07:15] And then I got the ashes of the books. Alright, well, yeah. You guys all got... Do you have some of the machinery from the traps you killed? Yes, I do. Are you eating some of that? Yeah, I will. And yeah, free ale for all of you guys. And you guys got bragging rights. I'm gonna look at all my friends. I'm gonna be like, does everybody here want their bar tab settled for the rest of the night? Yeah, absolutely yeah. I'm gonna look at the bartender and grab Medusa and show him his head. It doesn't work. It's dead.

[02:07:45] It's dead. I thought that when you showed it. You tried and it failed so it didn't have any magic. Why are you trying to kill everyone that's next to us? I wasn't trying... just temporarily let him freeze and then we have free birds. Are they ever temporary with organs? No, not anymore. We already have free birds. Morgan turning someone to stone, isn't that prominent? Uh, yeah. Yeah. It depends on the mythology of the world. That's what I thought. We need some basilisk oil to fix it. What if I pulled out some basilisk oil and just so it like, hey guys, we could just

[02:08:15] kind of turn it in temporary and then rub it down. Or a gold lead up. Or soft. Samantha's head does not petrify it. Can we give it magic next time? You can try and find somebody to resurrect the head of Samantha of the cork. You have to kill her again. Well, what we do is we put... we have to look her in the eye, right? So I just blindfold it and I just walk around with this talking head. And then I can pull the head off and I can show it when it's alive. Like God of War. Yeah, like God of War.

[02:08:45] Turn her into a homunculum. Yeah. But you have to look... if you don't look her in the eye, I make her blindfolded. It's a homunculum head, really. Homunculum. Then she's safe. Yeah, Arcania is a magic school town. So you can go in there and find someone. I would like to do that. But that is for another time. Damn it. Because this adventure is over and you guys have managed to survive the Dungeode. And you have done the far dungeon crawl. That was that world crawl. Comment, questions, suggestions. That was silly. That was very silly.

[02:09:14] I got new friends. You did. They were super effective. And you got to use your pick too. I heard every time you play a game, your mission is to be friends. Yes. I just like that. Well, it wasn't going to be, but then I did that. Yeah. I just like the power of friendship. I just like that. Yeah. Friendships! Do you have a tabletop game that's basically like... It's like, is that poison? Yes. Oh! You're trying to find like friendship.

[02:09:44] I mean, for me it was super easy. Barely an inconvenience. Yeah. Yeah. It's very simple in rules. Like, roll dice in below or under. Yeah. That was sick. It was a little like, weird to get a hold of the whole dungeon slash dragon thing. Yeah. It's strange, but it works. Yeah. I think it's a good like, quick party game. Any system, you gotta give it a little bit of a run and then... Yeah. Yeah. It's good for like a beer and pretzel style game. Like, these kind of like get togethers. So... Yep.

[02:10:14] And what are we gonna do tomorrow? I don't know. We figured out. I didn't get to use my potion. Are you coming back? Who's coming back tomorrow? I didn't... I'm not gonna go all day. It was probably gonna be some sort of either a potion of like courage in a situation where it's like, I can't run away. I need to have this. I'm sure not driving. Or a healer. So that's a... Oh, there's nothing else to... I'm fair. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick. Goodbye, internet!