ADR - Episode 518: All-Consuming Darkness

[00:00:00] So before we get started, I just want to say there's a correction for last week's episode

[00:00:06] and my recommendation is a full recommendation for the Becaga.

[00:00:12] Everything is fine. Do not approach the Statue of Liberty and look behind its eyes.

[00:00:19] Everything is fine.

[00:00:21] Everything is fine.

[00:00:51] Oh, hello and welcome to Al Dente Rigamortis. I'm Review Cultist.

[00:00:58] I'm Mikey, the East End's Revolver.

[00:01:00] And I'm the Gamer in Yellow.

[00:01:01] And we're here to discuss those internet stories, most creepy and most pasta,

[00:01:05] and be critically silly doing it. And tonight we have All Consuming Darkness.

[00:01:11] That is way too thematic today.

[00:01:16] Yeah.

[00:01:17] That's true.

[00:01:18] Yeah. So for everybody confused, prior to us recording, we were going to start recording today

[00:01:27] at our normal time.

[00:01:28] At our normal time. But the power went out and proceeded to be out for much over our usual

[00:01:35] schedule time. And so we were thinking we had to postpone our reschedule.

[00:01:40] And luckily it came back an hour or two later.

[00:01:42] But like, yeah, we were, I think at least me and Gamer were both in darkness.

[00:01:47] Yeah, me even more so because last night when I was reading this.

[00:01:53] Oh no!

[00:01:55] I basically just finished, saved my notes and I'm like, okay, well that's done.

[00:02:01] The power goes out. It's pitch black everywhere.

[00:02:04] And I have a glass of water on my table. I do not have my phone in my pocket.

[00:02:08] I'm like, shit. I have to not knock over this glass and I have to find a light.

[00:02:14] That is awesome and horrible at the same time.

[00:02:17] Yeah, I was playing, I was starting Boulder's Gate three last night, like when the power went out.

[00:02:25] And I was like, well, I guess I'm just going to bed.

[00:02:27] And then I went to bed also Gamer, because you're in the same neighborhood as I am.

[00:02:32] Did you see a like a double hit of bright flash?

[00:02:36] Green.

[00:02:37] Oh it was blue up over here.

[00:02:38] It was green.

[00:02:40] Okay, that's terrifying because like I was going to bed, I was sleeping and all of a sudden there was

[00:02:44] just like through my window, like just these bursts of blue light like surged through like

[00:02:51] lightning. And I was like, huh, that's weird because that's either like some kind of transformer,

[00:02:58] I guess just blue or something like off on the road. But how is that coming through my window?

[00:03:03] Since my window is like a half window and is kind of protected from the street

[00:03:11] by a house and a fence and a car. That was really bright.

[00:03:17] It came from the sky, from the aliens coming by and taking a snapshot of the area while the

[00:03:23] power was new.

[00:03:24] Yeah. Or no, it was miasma showed up.

[00:03:29] Yeah, that's what that was. It wasn't red though.

[00:03:31] Oh yeah, that's true. Yeah.

[00:03:32] Well yours was green, mine was blue so it might change colors.

[00:03:36] Maybe. Maybe it wasn't miasma, it could have been like your asthma.

[00:03:42] God damn it.

[00:03:43] It's not a miasma.

[00:03:49] God damn it.

[00:03:50] All right well.

[00:03:50] Is your asthma his asthma?

[00:03:53] That's as good a segue as not for our story today.

[00:03:57] So yeah, we're covering all consuming darkness tonight.

[00:04:04] It's by Serena writes on creeppost.wiki.

[00:04:07] They actually gave us this story in an email and we're like hey,

[00:04:14] like I'd like I'd love for you to like do or to cover some of my stories.

[00:04:20] Be as brutally honest as you feel you want to be.

[00:04:24] All right, that's this one.

[00:04:25] I should change my mind.

[00:04:28] Yeah, I was like wow, okay, I mean like we'll do it the way we do all the stories that we cover on

[00:04:34] the show. Yeah, it's always boggles my mind when we get emails from authors.

[00:04:43] We are a credible source.

[00:04:45] Apparently.

[00:04:46] For like review and you know good words usage.

[00:04:51] I wouldn't go that far.

[00:04:53] I really wouldn't go that far but it's appreciated nonetheless the emails we get from authors.

[00:05:03] But yeah, so that's why we're doing all consuming darkness tonight.

[00:05:06] So I suppose we'll start off with our initial recommendations.

[00:05:12] I'm going to partially recommend it but like it's teetering on almost a full recommendation

[00:05:16] for me.

[00:05:18] I'm also going to partially recommend it.

[00:05:21] Fuck man.

[00:05:23] I'm going to partially recommend it but it's teetering on the not recommendation side.

[00:05:26] Oh interesting, okay.

[00:05:29] How are we running the gambit on specifically partial recommendation this time?

[00:05:33] Specifically partial recommendation.

[00:05:35] Yeah.

[00:05:35] Like that's like tell my wife hello.

[00:05:40] Definitely maybe.

[00:05:43] Yeah, that's fine.

[00:05:45] Yeah.

[00:05:46] All right, well let's dive into the story and find out why we gave those very specific

[00:05:51] partial recommendations.

[00:05:54] Starting with the rundown featuring Victor or Vic who is going to be our narrator for the story.

[00:06:02] He and a group of friends, Donnie, Paul, Ray and Lou are hanging out when Paul and Ray are

[00:06:08] getting into an intense argument while drunk.

[00:06:11] In fact the story basically opens up with the argument.

[00:06:15] Something about like alcohol poisoning doesn't kill you according to Ray.

[00:06:26] Lou comes in to the room and tells everyone to get out of his house for being super rowdy

[00:06:32] and loud like his neighbors are going to complain such except for Vic.

[00:06:37] However, when the crew goes to leave they find that the outside is missing.

[00:06:44] Like replaced with an endless darkness and shrouding the house.

[00:06:48] After doing some tests, the gang quickly loses their shit unable to contact anyone outside the

[00:06:54] house.

[00:06:56] Ray, the drunkest of the bunch gets very antagonistic, hurting Paul and having to be

[00:07:03] subdued and locked in the garage by the others.

[00:07:07] Vic goes up to Lou's room and gets his gun and Lou comes in and shares a brief intimate moment

[00:07:15] as both are very scared about the situation before going downstairs.

[00:07:20] Vic fires off a shot into the darkness.

[00:07:23] He attacked the darkness as well.

[00:07:26] It was a magic missile though.

[00:07:28] I mean what is a magic missile but just a gun?

[00:07:32] Yeah, at first nothing seems to be happening or at first nothing happens with the gunshot

[00:07:42] until a gravelly groaning noise is heard and some rumbling.

[00:07:47] Ray is in the garage and causing a mess drinking all any and all alcohol in the garage fridge

[00:07:53] and shouting for fancies wanting to be free.

[00:07:56] Paul isn't doing great and needs to hospital.

[00:08:02] Vic notices there actually is a strange light off in the distance in the darkness outside

[00:08:07] but then Ray escapes and the garage and attacks.

[00:08:12] Donnie fires the gun but misses and gets taken down and made into a bloody heap under Ray's fists.

[00:08:20] Vic grapples Ray and after professing his love to Lou

[00:08:24] throws himself and Ray into the dark void beyond the door.

[00:08:28] Ray is consumed by the entity of the darkness who calls itself miasma and then claims it devours

[00:08:35] people in the wrong place and time.

[00:08:39] It decides not to eat Vic however and Vic comes back in Lou's house but

[00:08:47] his friends are all gone seemingly taken by miasma.

[00:08:52] In a bittersweet ending to quote Vic's last words in the story

[00:08:56] his body came back but his heart was taken.

[00:09:00] Finn. So that was all consuming darkness.

[00:09:05] I suppose we'll move on to everyone taller Instagraming positions at this point

[00:09:12] and I've got a couple.

[00:09:15] I'm going to start with this one here.

[00:09:18] I stared at the TV watching as it refused to turn on.

[00:09:22] So the T so first this is partially like an actual thought but also like this is

[00:09:27] I think a grammar thing.

[00:09:30] So the TV won't turn on but I assume like there's still power for lights and such in

[00:09:34] the house right because it's not mentioned otherwise that the power like the power

[00:09:40] took off all the lights and such.

[00:09:42] So is it that the TV won't turn on or that it just doesn't have signal like the phones and such?

[00:09:50] I feel like maybe there should be like an ad like I stared at the TV

[00:09:54] watching as it refused to get a signal or something bad.

[00:09:57] You're absolutely right.

[00:10:01] Or either that or add something about like no lights being on the house at all like

[00:10:05] the electricity has been cut as well.

[00:10:07] But that's the problem and they didn't know anything was wrong until they opened the door.

[00:10:12] That's true.

[00:10:12] Yeah, they could have been in there for ages.

[00:10:15] So unless they were having a candlelit drunken party with the lights off.

[00:10:21] I mean who hasn't had one of those?

[00:10:22] I mean right.

[00:10:23] I know right but yeah.

[00:10:26] I mean fire and alcohol always make a great combination.

[00:10:31] It's true.

[00:10:32] Sure.

[00:10:35] But yeah so that's my suggestion for that one is just like the

[00:10:39] I think the TV should be like the signal is they're not able to see the signal not

[00:10:44] not that you can't turn on the TV itself.

[00:10:48] But my next one here.

[00:10:50] I ran to Paul who was trembling.

[00:10:52] Paul buddy oh my god I want to get warm.

[00:10:56] I helped him onto the couch and put a warm blanket on him.

[00:11:00] He fell asleep still trembling.

[00:11:02] I feel like trembling should be replaced with shivering because I don't like it's clear that

[00:11:08] like it seems like Paul is feeling cold and shivering not like trembling for me like doesn't

[00:11:15] that doesn't right off the hop in this like kind of invoke like that somebody is cold.

[00:11:19] It just means that they're like spazzing or something like that.

[00:11:22] It's not like necessarily like a for me it's not a good indicator for like somebody being

[00:11:26] cold and like like in that kind of state.

[00:11:29] Yeah I feel like trembling is best used at least in my head for like being scared.

[00:11:36] Yeah it's the same like your body is shaking.

[00:11:42] Yeah but he could very well be trembling of fear because he was punched in the gut by Ray.

[00:11:50] And he feels like he's dying.

[00:11:51] Yeah but he's also cold so he's trembling and shivering.

[00:11:55] So it should either be shivering or include shivering with trembling.

[00:11:59] Or trembling.

[00:12:00] But just combine them.

[00:12:03] Fair yeah.

[00:12:05] Um all right I'll move on to the next one I have.

[00:12:10] I ran under the sink.

[00:12:13] Oh yeah it does say that okay yeah it does actually say that hang on yeah that's

[00:12:16] that's that's my problem with it yeah.

[00:12:19] I ran under the sink and grabbed a tiny box period six bullets period one man.

[00:12:25] How small is that?

[00:12:28] Alone on the edge of space a girl no two girls now more than ever.

[00:12:35] Sorry yeah I did alter the the sentence to work I think the way or just like in

[00:12:43] the way I think it should work or like the way I should I think I would have written it.

[00:12:48] I ran to the sink in the kitchen and reached under grabbing a tiny box period

[00:12:54] six bullets comma one man.

[00:12:57] Yeah because I don't think Vic would be able to run under the sink.

[00:13:03] Yeah just like.

[00:13:03] Unless Vic is very small.

[00:13:05] Very small so small but also just like or just like uh what's when you're like running

[00:13:11] and then you just like hit the B button to like crutch down you do like a slide.

[00:13:14] Yeah right.

[00:13:18] But no I think I think it's like there should be a few more words in there to kind of like

[00:13:22] properly clarify that they ran to the sink in the kitchen and reached under to grab something.

[00:13:27] Not they went under the.

[00:13:29] They ran under the kitchen there's not too many sinks in the house.

[00:13:32] There's a bathroom I could have been out he could have left it underneath the bathroom sink.

[00:13:37] Well regardless it doesn't change it whether it's out of the bathroom

[00:13:40] sink or the kitchen sink it doesn't matter.

[00:13:42] Fair just that the whole ran under the sink is kind of all.

[00:13:45] 100%.

[00:13:48] Yeah I'll move on to the next one I have.

[00:13:50] I really don't want to do this.

[00:13:53] Welcome to my 10th talk the entire story of this point was past tense and then we get this

[00:13:59] present tense bit.

[00:14:00] I really didn't want to go I didn't I really didn't want to do this I think is how it should be.

[00:14:08] And then I think this happens again with my next quote and comment.

[00:14:13] His intoxicated state has left the window on the door unscathed.

[00:14:19] I think okay so this is a double thing because at first off it's a tense talk because I feel

[00:14:24] like it should be his intoxicated state hadn't or had at first I was like had left the window

[00:14:32] of the door and skamed but that was like wait shouldn't it be his intoxicated state hadn't

[00:14:38] left the window on the door unscathed sort of like because he had been like in a mess

[00:14:44] like in causing a mess in the garage like why like and they and he does break eventually

[00:14:48] in like it does eventually break the window of the door so should he should it be uns

[00:14:54] should it be left should be scathe yes but like a lot of people like to do that thing

[00:14:58] where it's like it wasn't left unscathed from the battle like that double that double negative.

[00:15:09] Yeah yeah you got that one.

[00:15:11] Okay cool. And I guess if you want to like not if you want to go with scathe like

[00:15:19] his intoxicated state had left the window on the door scathed.

[00:15:24] Well no the problem is it says it left the window unscathed so it should say not unscathed.

[00:15:31] Yeah unless it is trying to say that because of his intoxicated state he wasn't able to

[00:15:35] really do anything to the window so it was actually left unscathed.

[00:15:40] Yeah but they're like panicking and like aim the gun at him telling them to stop.

[00:15:45] And he does eventually break through that glass so it was marring the glass.

[00:15:50] So yeah I think it is the the form around the ladder

[00:15:57] but I digress that's actually my last grammar acquisition so Mikey the East Dance Rival.

[00:16:10] My grammar acquisition is also a bit of an actual thought but it's the voice of the Mazebah

[00:16:22] is always in all caps. Yeah yet we have other characters yelling in all caps.

[00:16:32] Yeah to show that they're shouting and such yeah.

[00:16:35] So that makes it not clear who's talking. I suppose I guess there could be some more

[00:16:41] description around Mazebah's dialogue of like his voice was like a terrible like

[00:16:48] like it was like all encompassing or like show like like kind of give this like describe the

[00:16:52] size of the set or the the the loudness of his of his voice and such.

[00:16:56] Or you know what put it in italics. What I'm sorry what.

[00:17:01] What. Yeah.

[00:17:05] Gamer are you OK. I'm fine here now. How are you.

[00:17:13] So anyway to I am still yellow I was not taken I did not take the gamer in yellow last night

[00:17:20] during the alien abduction. What are you talking about. That's why the power one

[00:17:25] in the green line like a call here to the SNTF.

[00:17:28] What nothing. OK please continue humans I mean friends.

[00:17:36] All right so the whole thing to me became confusing because at one point Mazebah said

[00:17:47] I lied and I had to go back through multiple full caps sentences to find what they lied about.

[00:18:01] But the first one that I came to was I love you so I was lying about loving him.

[00:18:07] No but he was lying about not lying about the void takes all in time that was the lie.

[00:18:15] Yeah but it's not clear because of all the other yelling that is also in the same text

[00:18:25] style as Mazebah. OK fair also Mazebah. It's me as my by the way.

[00:18:32] My asthma. My asthma. No my asthma.

[00:18:39] All this can be fixed with something that I found as a problem with the grammar

[00:18:43] and like it's basically just most of the dialogue does not have the speaker tied to it.

[00:18:50] Yeah you really think about who's talking and really pay attention granted it is technically done right

[00:18:58] because it goes back and forth between two people until someone else shows up and then

[00:19:04] it's doesn't. Yeah but it goes on for a long period of time with just two people talking

[00:19:10] and one person chimes in but then another person chimes in you're not 100% always sure who was talking

[00:19:16] at that point. Yeah so it could be a little it could be refined a little bit with that. Yeah yeah

[00:19:23] that was my big grammar and position. Plus it would give more reasons to put in mentions of like

[00:19:34] descriptors of the characters because we know basically nothing about these.

[00:19:38] That is legitimately like my what I think my first actual thought is is like

[00:19:44] or is something regarding like the fact that like we have I want to know more about these

[00:19:47] characters before they die or before the situation happens. All we have is Ray's big

[00:19:52] Lou has beard. Yeah and Vic is small enough to run our need to say that's about it.

[00:19:58] Yeah. Ray is a goblin. Yeah. No not Ray, Vic. Sorry Vic is a goblin yes. Or no or halfling.

[00:20:10] We're just going down the whole line of like T.D. characters and T.D races.

[00:20:16] Maybe even a fey. No maybe. Anyway so next I have a it story.

[00:20:28] All right. Oh yeah. And now an it story with Mikey the East Ends for Evil. Take it away.

[00:20:36] It'd be annoying if it wasn't so entertaining. It was pitch black with no signs of anything out there.

[00:20:45] It looked as if someone put a sheet over the doorway. It was as if the darkness had killed

[00:20:54] all ambient noise. It's not in your drawer. It was a shiny revolver never used. It was then

[00:21:04] that we heard the groan. It hurts. It's okay. It sounded like both a man and a woman speaking

[00:21:16] at the same time. It had no features aside from two black eyes and a mouth with no teeth.

[00:21:27] It pierced through the void. It's not their fault. It's never their fault.

[00:21:35] It was nice. It smelled of Lou. It was cold out just sprinkling lightly.

[00:21:44] There just lightly sprinkling. Yeah.

[00:21:49] Wow. So it seemed like it would be hilarious if it wasn't so irritating.

[00:21:58] Or it would be irritating if it was so hilarious at the beginning there.

[00:22:02] And then it's the darkness. And then the darkness, that was covered in it and then it

[00:22:06] transformed into a gun. And then it became a face that spoke.

[00:22:14] And then it smelled. It smelled like Lou. Yeah. And then we didn't...

[00:22:17] Well, Lou wasn't mentioned before. So the only thing I could think of as a Lou was a toilet.

[00:22:23] And then it was spoke because it was also lightly sprinkling outside.

[00:22:27] So...

[00:22:28] Uh-huh.

[00:22:32] Wow. Yeah.

[00:22:35] Crazy how weird a story can go when every bunch of sentences throughout the story that

[00:22:40] stories were that they probably shouldn't. Like it's Andrew Bucks and there's always better words to

[00:22:44] you. Indeed.

[00:22:47] Gamer, do we have a grammar in yellow?

[00:22:49] Ah, a little bit.

[00:22:53] Paul threw his hands up. What do you mean it's not a choice? You fucking alcoholic?

[00:22:59] I mean it's not a choice. Or sorry, he held that tube or whatever.

[00:23:03] Suddenly we heard a loud smack. Everyone looked in the direction of the sound

[00:23:06] and saw Lou with his fist curled up and resting against the table.

[00:23:10] So for me, when I heard smack, I assumed someone got bit slapped.

[00:23:15] Yeah. Yeah.

[00:23:15] Or at least punched. So I feel like maybe thud would be better.

[00:23:20] Yeah. Also, I...

[00:23:24] He had a fist on the table, right? So we punched the table. That doesn't necessarily create a slapping

[00:23:32] like a slapping sound. It creates like a thud sound like you're saying. Yeah.

[00:23:37] That's why I said thud.

[00:23:38] Yeah. No, I'm just furthering like extrapolating off of that.

[00:23:41] Yes. Yes.

[00:23:46] And then what else?

[00:23:50] Yeah. So they opened the door. They do not get on the floor and walk the dance or however,

[00:23:56] it's all like darkness out there imprisoning them. All they see absolutely the horror.

[00:24:01] But he gets the beer and pours it out and says it's splashed out of the can into

[00:24:06] the inky blackness never to be seen again. Yeah.

[00:24:10] Personally, I prefer like it ran out of the can or dripped out of the can because splashed

[00:24:15] makes it sound like it hits something. Meanwhile, it did.

[00:24:17] Or ordered out of the can?

[00:24:18] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like I think it would be poured and also work for that.

[00:24:25] Well, you don't want to say I opened the can and began to pour it out the door and pour it out.

[00:24:31] Oh yeah. Or like maybe it's sloshed out or so. Yeah, like you say.

[00:24:36] Slosh sounds very viscous. That's why I said it ran out.

[00:24:41] That's fair. Okay. Fine. Fair. I'll give you that.

[00:24:42] Yeah. Because splashed makes it sound like it hits something because that's where they

[00:24:46] immediately heard. Like that's why I immediately visualized rather.

[00:24:50] Poured it out. It hit the inky blackness where there would be a front step.

[00:24:55] But then it continued saying that it kept falling until they didn't see it.

[00:24:58] So I was very confused when I first read that.

[00:25:01] Yeah.

[00:25:04] And that's it for the grammar.

[00:25:06] Okay. Mikey, did you have something there?

[00:25:09] You sound like you were going to talk about it.

[00:25:10] No. No.

[00:25:13] Okay.

[00:25:14] I got nothing.

[00:25:15] All right, then I suppose we'll move on to actual thoughts.

[00:25:19] So I'm going to start with this quote here.

[00:25:22] Look, I'm telling you, you're wrong. Then what is it, genius?

[00:25:26] You can't die of alcohol poisoning, dipshit.

[00:25:29] What the hell are you talking about?

[00:25:31] You're just mad because you know I'm right.

[00:25:34] This happens every time we hang out.

[00:25:36] Paul and Ray get too drunk and argue over dumb stuff.

[00:25:40] It'd be annoying if it wasn't so entertaining.

[00:25:44] So I'm guessing Ray is the one that's defending the stance

[00:25:48] that you can't die from alcohol poisoning.

[00:25:51] Pretty sure that's not the case.

[00:25:53] I'm pretty sure you can die of alcohol poisoning.

[00:25:57] He's also drunk and he wants a reason to drink more.

[00:25:59] Yeah.

[00:26:02] Based on how he, yeah, and like my assumption that he is the one

[00:26:07] that's defending alcohol poisoning not being lethal

[00:26:10] is the fact that he's acting like,

[00:26:14] the way he acts through the rest of the story.

[00:26:17] It gets kind of like, it seems like he'd be that kind of guy

[00:26:21] in the story.

[00:26:22] And that actually segues to the topic of note for this

[00:26:26] that came from Ray's behavior throughout the story.

[00:26:30] I feel like there could have been a bit more

[00:26:33] to describe the characters and their roles in the friend group

[00:26:37] right off the hop.

[00:26:39] We could have had a little bit more,

[00:26:40] I really wish we had had more at the start

[00:26:44] to describe this group of friends and where they all are.

[00:26:48] We know Ray is the that guy drunk.

[00:26:53] But like, and we get a couple,

[00:26:55] we do get a little bits here and there throughout the writing

[00:27:00] of characters' physical descriptions or their personalities

[00:27:04] a little bit or their personality traits.

[00:27:07] But you really don't, I just wish we had more like the flesh of them out.

[00:27:12] Like before you throw some characters

[00:27:16] into the proverbial meat grinder of a horror story,

[00:27:19] you want to get at least like some tidbits of detail

[00:27:23] and like, likeability or like familiarization with the characters

[00:27:27] before you make them into victims and villains in the story.

[00:27:32] Yeah. So.

[00:27:35] And also talking about Ray's drinking habits,

[00:27:40] when they put him in the garage

[00:27:42] and he starts pulling out bottles of hard liquor from the fridge.

[00:27:47] I assume that he was drinking like full bottles of hard liquor.

[00:27:52] Yeah, he would have started far from them really quick.

[00:27:54] Later when we heard the glass shatter,

[00:27:58] it's because he threw a bottle against the door

[00:28:00] but there's no mention of hard liquor going anywhere.

[00:28:04] It's just the glass.

[00:28:06] Yeah, I'm pretty sure it says somewhere that like he's drinking them

[00:28:09] and throwing them out when he's done with them.

[00:28:11] Yeah.

[00:28:12] At the door.

[00:28:12] Which man, that guy must have like an iron stomach because

[00:28:17] even if like,

[00:28:19] I from unfortunate experiences during what we like to call

[00:28:23] shots giving in our household.

[00:28:27] There have been a couple of cases where

[00:28:29] where people over imbibe on the hard liquor and such

[00:28:33] and are immediately throwing up in a bathroom somewhere.

[00:28:36] Yeah.

[00:28:38] Yeah, we don't know that he's throwing up to make room for more.

[00:28:41] That's true.

[00:28:43] Yeah. So Ray was still drinking whole bottles

[00:28:46] and throwing them at the door.

[00:28:49] Yeah.

[00:28:50] So yeah, he's got a drinking problem.

[00:28:54] Clearly.

[00:28:55] And he's trying to prove that he can't be poisoned.

[00:28:59] Yeah.

[00:29:00] That's clear.

[00:29:01] Yeah.

[00:29:07] But yeah, that's my thing.

[00:29:08] Like kind of what we were going, what Gamer was talking about earlier.

[00:29:12] It's like, yeah, I kind of just wanted to know more about these characters

[00:29:14] before we toss them into the horror scenario.

[00:29:18] Like because you want that, like at least in a movie,

[00:29:21] you want that 30 minutes at the beginning of the movie

[00:29:24] to get to know the group of teenagers before Jason murders them.

[00:29:28] So you feel something when they die, whether it be like catharsis that a jerk gets killed

[00:29:36] or sad or sympathy when the funny man or the sympathetic girl dies

[00:29:42] or triumph when the final girl survives in the movie or in the movie.

[00:29:47] Or even sadness for her because all of her friends are dead but she made it out

[00:29:52] and she's got to deal with that.

[00:29:54] Mm-hmm.

[00:29:54] Like you want to, you got to humanize the characters a little bit more

[00:29:58] before you just toss them in.

[00:30:00] I mean we get some of it through the writing here.

[00:30:03] But I wished for more at the beginning.

[00:30:06] That being said, the only ones that really, truly got killed were Ray.

[00:30:11] It was Ray actually.

[00:30:13] Yeah, Ray.

[00:30:13] He was the only one that straight up you see get killed

[00:30:16] and we have a good enough reason to be okay with him being killed because he was a dick.

[00:30:20] Yeah.

[00:30:21] Yeah.

[00:30:22] But then also maybe give us an explanation as to why he's still in their group of friends

[00:30:26] if he's an angry drunk.

[00:30:28] Everyone has that guy.

[00:30:31] Okay, yes.

[00:30:31] But give us more of that in the story.

[00:30:33] Give us a little bit more to play on that.

[00:30:35] Like it's like he's really a nice guy when she gets to know him.

[00:30:39] I mean like he's not even really.

[00:30:40] Not even really.

[00:30:41] He may be an angry drunk but he's never hurt us.

[00:30:43] Like maybe the reason he acted out so badly or was so antagonistic in this

[00:30:48] was well first off like they spent like a few I seem like there were a few hours into their panic

[00:30:52] as well in the story.

[00:30:54] But like maybe I honestly was kind of wondering if like he was getting possessed by something

[00:30:57] in the darkness and like that's why he was acting like that.

[00:31:00] But then it seemed like it was just he's just that guy.

[00:31:04] Yeah.

[00:31:05] Yeah.

[00:31:06] But I didn't have enough information about these characters or get to know these characters

[00:31:10] a little bit more before they all basically get meet their end.

[00:31:15] So.

[00:31:19] But the other guys are still hanging out in the house.

[00:31:21] Well I mean are they though?

[00:31:23] Like or are they all been like taken by miasma?

[00:31:26] Like is Vic the only one?

[00:31:29] Like because it seems pretty obvious at the end like Vic's looking around the house looking

[00:31:35] for his friends and like finding like a blood spot and like the even clothes of these people

[00:31:40] and they're just gone.

[00:31:43] So I think we know the rest of them are also doing the same thing in their own parallel.

[00:31:47] Oh God that would be so.

[00:31:51] I don't know how you would how you would illustrate that but that would be such a

[00:31:54] cool thing at the end of the story is just like another paragraph of like showing Lu

[00:31:58] in one place as as as as as Donnie is like bloodied and dead on the floor in another

[00:32:08] universe.

[00:32:09] He's like looking he's just dead all right like and or is um and then similarly like Paul

[00:32:14] is just like like freezes to death on the couch like it'd be so sad as like Vic is like driving

[00:32:19] away crying and like that his like friends have been taken and it just cuts to like

[00:32:22] different realities where like they are all just alone.

[00:32:27] Yeah but first person story can't really do that.

[00:32:31] Yeah no so um yeah I'll move on to the next thing I have.

[00:32:38] Trying with me Ray grabbed the grabbed his keys and walked toward the door.

[00:32:43] Hey Ray maybe you shouldn't drive.

[00:32:45] I sat fine with me.

[00:32:47] He opened the door and paused.

[00:32:49] Raymond get out.

[00:32:50] Lu said.

[00:32:52] Lu where's the outside?

[00:32:54] Wow that escalated really quick um because like that's like I think I'm like the first

[00:33:00] like we got like a page of their their shenanigans and then outside's missing.

[00:33:07] Also this is definitely the kind of scenario I have had in my head while hanging out with

[00:33:14] with the guys on Saturday night um whether it be like a game like where we're all like gaming

[00:33:20] or watching a horror movie or something like that it's just like man what would happen if

[00:33:22] like this horror scenario and a gate happened like it's definitely something I've kicked around

[00:33:28] in my head of like to throw it into like a game idea or like a story idea of just like

[00:33:32] you and your friends just hanging out like at the apartment or uh like playing games or whatever

[00:33:37] you and then the horror scenario kind of just like happens while like like two while you guys are

[00:33:42] at home and like what do you guys do like that's the seed for the for the uh the horror

[00:33:46] scenario it's like all right you're all hanging out insert horror scenario like either it be

[00:33:52] like Hachishakusama shows up or um like suddenly like you go to outside on the patio to smoke and

[00:34:00] you realize that the outside is missing what do you do go that's the scenario starter.

[00:34:10] Also in regards to the outside missing I feel like they believed him way too quick

[00:34:15] well they all they all kind of didn't they all like kind of come up to the door and like

[00:34:18] check and stuff of that and and confirm. Yeah but that's the thing like they didn't immediately assume

[00:34:24] that the the drunken idiot is just blacking out or something like no one went yeah yeah I'm sure it's

[00:34:31] not there yeah or yeah I guess like you didn't have to try to convince anyone they just immediately

[00:34:36] went what it's not there yeah yeah I guess it could have had like a line over like loose or

[00:34:41] loose ends like Paul raise raise blacking out get ready to catch him yeah

[00:34:49] and then like that's when we get like no guys seriously it's it's out like and then like the

[00:34:52] old track is like oh shit yeah like none of them get up and raise like nah I'm fucking telling you

[00:34:57] it's not there and he grabs one of them drags them over to the door. Yeah yeah for sure I move on

[00:35:05] to the next thing I have I handed the gun to Donnie you hold on to this I said I don't know how to use

[00:35:11] this well hopefully you won't have to why this seems incredibly ill advised handing a gun off to someone

[00:35:18] who doesn't know how to use it who has stated they don't know how to use it where the fuck's Lou

[00:35:24] in this situation right there yeah he had it off to Lou also why did he have to hand it

[00:35:28] off in the first place because he was gonna go check on uh on Paul what he couldn't do that

[00:35:33] with the gun I think they wanted to have the gun near the garage door in case Ray tried something

[00:35:39] and then we and then we get the the obvious like um end to that scenario where Donnie fires

[00:35:46] like or like Ray gets loose Donnie fires and misses all time so I'm surprised no one someone else

[00:35:52] didn't get shot in the process yeah it's pretty dumb they didn't give it to Lou yeah that was a

[00:35:59] real oh god is like is this house in uh Derpland of course it is it is now yeah these these guys

[00:36:06] are residents of Derpland it was going Vic was Vic was acting all right up until this point yeah

[00:36:15] and then uh we get after the after Vic and Lou get like launched into the into the darkness and

[00:36:21] encounter um uh miasma the light was back but had evolved into a red pulsating glow

[00:36:30] hey I yelled I heard a response Victor Rosenberg a voice spoke winstead

[00:36:41] that's definitely the kind of like thing I got from this is that Ghostbusters 2 scene where like

[00:36:46] they're down the down the train tunnels and it is like hi hello winstead

[00:36:55] I got a lie when you yell hey I thought you were gonna go hey listen

[00:37:00] god damn it yeah that's that's one too and my next one's a similar like silly scene

[00:37:05] that kind of came to mind

[00:37:07] unfortunately for Ray miasma held it held him in stasis Victor I stared at miasma I lied

[00:37:20] um remember I wouldn't kill you guys yeah I lied drops my yes thank you commando

[00:37:31] I don't know what miasma sounds like Arnold yeah oh god yeah so hang on hang on let me do it better

[00:37:40] uh I heard a response Victor Rosenberg

[00:37:46] Victor I lied

[00:37:51] oh god damn it somehow does not carry the same amount of fear

[00:37:56] yeah exactly so well as you know yeah now we know the the the male uh voice in the in the in the voice

[00:38:03] yes it's an Arnold voice totally god damn it but yeah um actually going to the quote I just

[00:38:10] referenced like the whole like I lied part and uh with um unfortunately for Ray miasma held him

[00:38:16] in stasis I I feel like maybe I would have quoted I would have I would have altered it a little bit to be

[00:38:25] miasma held him in a sort of stasis because like it just being so definitive that like he held him

[00:38:33] in stasis is like yeah I know exactly what spell he's using exactly yeah yeah he's using the

[00:38:40] yeah exactly absolutely like he's like or he's using the grasp of cthulhu from the d20

[00:38:45] cthulhu book he did really good on his arcane to check to find out what spell it is yeah he rolled

[00:38:50] it yeah he rolled a nat 20 um also um regarding the uh the whole like I lied part and stuff of that

[00:38:59] um I suppose in I suppose in this case in the case of the story it's reversed uh when um

[00:39:06] like from like when I was joking about like remember when I said I kill you last I lied

[00:39:11] um because he said he was going to kill everybody but then he didn't kill um victor so yes I suppose yeah

[00:39:26] but I'll move on to my next quote in comments

[00:39:33] I walked throughout the house nobody was there I looked in the garage there were still

[00:39:38] bottles and hard bottles of hard liquor and broken glass turned about but no ray I looked back in the

[00:39:44] win in the living room the blanket was on the couch but Paul wasn't on the floor a puddle of blood

[00:39:50] was on the ground making an outline of where Donnie should be I checked Lou's room his gun was

[00:39:57] still under the bed Lou this could be so the kind of like spending on what we said earlier

[00:40:04] about like like how gamers said like they were all in different realities um this can also be

[00:40:10] really interesting like take or explanation for like a rapture situation like where it's like

[00:40:16] a localized rapture event where like people just like van it like are just like just

[00:40:23] cease to exist from reality because miasma takes them and pulls them out of reality

[00:40:28] and like we now have and we'd have like a like in a scenario like you go to like a place where

[00:40:34] like there's like a missing persons and like uh for like a game fodder I suppose um where you're

[00:40:40] like you're playing as like the cops like investigating a missing persons thing or like some

[00:40:43] kind of a uh noise complaint or something like that and you go to this house and there's like

[00:40:48] clearly there was like a bar like a like a like a party or something like going on but like

[00:40:53] there's nobody there except for that except for one person and their claim is so ridiculous

[00:40:58] or it's just it's just outlandish like they all just like like it basically tells the story of

[00:41:03] what happened in this in this but then that's also the uh for a game idea like that would be

[00:41:09] the catalyst for like suddenly the cops now have been primed for being taken and so like they go home

[00:41:14] or they go to the back of the precinct and then some of the precinct exists like it

[00:41:18] sees to exist for a for a bit outside of space time and people are slowly getting taken from that

[00:41:28] I think that would be an interesting thing to to derive a game idea from this uh from the plot of

[00:41:33] the story um and then my last uh quote and comment for the story is

[00:41:42] is

[00:41:43] I drove away from the house and began to cry miasma was right my body may be home but my heart

[00:41:49] remained trapped in miasma ah good old tragic horror ending I honestly really like the last line

[00:41:57] here uh it's kind of poetic at least in terms of the structure of it not I don't I don't think

[00:42:02] victor deserved like I don't think it's poetic in in like how like that victor deserved any of this

[00:42:09] you know but like it is sort of it's very like structurally it's very poetic like my body it may

[00:42:15] be home but my heart remains trapped in miasma because like all his friends and even like his

[00:42:19] love interest were taken by miasma but he was left he was left back on earth

[00:42:26] so it's and it's a very like traditionally very not traditional but like very um uh it's

[00:42:31] it's that tragic bittersweet survivor ending of a horror story we're like you survived but all

[00:42:39] your friends are gone like they ultimately made the sacrifice where they're willingly or not but

[00:42:46] yeah that's that's all I've got for for my actual thoughts so Mikey these stands for evil

[00:42:52] so I'm gonna start with the title all consuming darkness yet it failed to consume victor

[00:43:04] because it lied at the beginning also it's the very beginning title remember the title all consuming

[00:43:11] darkness I lied I don't think it means it in the way you think it means no I think it's just

[00:43:18] supposed to describe the the darkness outside of the yeah yeah yeah although I mean you know another

[00:43:25] another good title I think would be funny is like hello darkness my old friend wow

[00:43:33] that's for the sequel yeah exactly yeah because he's he's got to get lube back we gotta get a

[00:43:39] we gotta get a um we gotta have that like that that sequel that is I mean based on slasher

[00:43:45] movies and stuff is probably not could be as good as the first one but

[00:43:50] joking aside I wish you wouldn't mind a sequel where Vic is trying to get lube back or maybe some of

[00:43:55] his other friends maybe but like for specifically Lou so yeah uh next actual thought I have a quote

[00:44:03] here I showed the gun to the guys boom so uh my mind went to gears of war where the enemy

[00:44:17] in a deep voice yeah right it took some loads of rounds in that

[00:44:27] yeah I thought I honestly thought the story was gonna get really dark really fast because like

[00:44:32] prior to this they'd gotten like about an hour or more of like just freaking out and like not being

[00:44:36] honest like and then Vic goes to get the gun it's like is Vic just gonna start shooting everybody

[00:44:41] like it's like well we're we're we're screwed anyway bang oh god this is going and then no he

[00:44:47] shoots into the darkness I was like oh thank god it's kind of a shame we don't have a good

[00:44:51] feel for how long they were stuck in there because like yeah because it's a quick read and

[00:44:57] there's no mention or no clear mention anyways of time passing it feels like they were stuck there for

[00:45:02] like an hour yeah that is something that could probably be like again like added on to the story

[00:45:09] is give us a few more lines I'm just like like hour one like we were like freaking out hour two

[00:45:16] hour question mark question mark and then like just like have like have a couple of those where

[00:45:20] it's like showing like the passage of time in like a few sentences to kind of give us a little

[00:45:25] bit more um a little bit more sense of like their desperation yeah because this sort of situation is

[00:45:33] like prime fodder to have like that double survivalist kind of story going on of them trying to

[00:45:41] figure out how to survive with what's left and how to get out and all that but yeah it's just kind

[00:45:45] of really rushed by yeah like if this was like a film production this is definitely one of those

[00:45:52] horror movies that's like a small budget because they're only shooting honestly this is skinner

[00:45:56] merengue actually now I think about it because because it's just it's just the entire movie takes

[00:46:02] place inside of a house and the outside world effectively does not exist whether it be like

[00:46:07] an all-in-couching darkness or all the windows and doors are missing as to the outside as

[00:46:12] is the case with skinner merengue and the characters are just trying to like figure out

[00:46:17] what's going on while also dealing with something that is slowly and crouching upon them

[00:46:23] so yeah no it's very it's very much like that kind of a movie like idea if you're to like take

[00:46:30] transition this to a to a film media uh it would be like one of those like kind of small indie

[00:46:36] horror films I mean when you think about it most films are actually just here's the room and

[00:46:42] around it is just all consuming darkness because everything that's not the set doesn't exist

[00:46:46] in the world wow that's really deep actually what is what is life in a film in a film but

[00:46:55] just disparate sets set pieces just floating in empty space oh my god you know that's also kind of

[00:47:03] the meta plot of too many cooks like I guess because the killer begins slowly like attacking them

[00:47:11] and the one character the survivor is like flee to other sets in the studio yeah and effectively

[00:47:19] flee into other movies or tv shows yeah so uh my uh next actual thought is that my asthma is the

[00:47:31] good guy explain so ray is a deter we determine he's evil I mean because he's a jerk he's a drunk

[00:47:44] if nothing else yes very angry and physicals angry drinking jerk yeah he's a violent angry drunk yeah

[00:47:53] so and Paul is evil for joining in with the rage drinking

[00:48:02] okay donnie is evil for supporting the rage drinking by being the designated driver

[00:48:09] and for shooting the gun even though he missed so what's loose in

[00:48:15] Lou is evil for having the gun in the first place I mean that's just American probably

[00:48:21] and victor is the good guy because he's the one who talked to my asthma the others didn't even try

[00:48:32] see I would go so much to say that victor is is not evil or is the good guy here because

[00:48:38] he selflessly protected the rest of them by leaping through the wind through the door with ray

[00:48:44] like he got rid of he selflessly he sacrificed himself for the group the greater yeah but

[00:48:53] also like the my asthma is targeting evil and knows that victor is the good guy yeah and so

[00:49:02] that's why victor lives at the end I guess I mean it I mean to be fair victor is also the one

[00:49:08] who knew where the gun was in Lou's room got it and shot into miasma well but he didn't know where

[00:49:17] the gun was because he has to ask for it because Lou kept changing where it was okay

[00:49:27] I said because it's not victor's gun so it's Lou's gun yeah

[00:49:31] yeah so you're saying because like oh well it's not his gun and also because he gave it to Donny

[00:49:39] like he his hands are clean yep but he also incriminated Donny that's true yeah giving a

[00:49:49] man a gun and having a man shoot that gun you are just as liable as he is yes giving it to a person

[00:49:57] who does not know how to use the gun properly after he straight up says I don't know how to use this

[00:50:05] yeah like and then just and then victor goes like well like hopefully you won't have to use it

[00:50:10] it's like no that is not the response you take my gun back

[00:50:17] it's fine yeah it's not good to detect that um that there was plot armor on him so that's why

[00:50:24] he was allowed to survive I honestly think it was just because of how selfless he was

[00:50:28] so with like sacrificing himself for Lou in the group so yeah and that's in the actual thoughts

[00:50:36] okay gamer let's see what I have left

[00:50:43] so the story starts off with uh two drunk dudes and um so as soon as I'm reading that I'm like

[00:50:50] great so right after that all those could be just whatever happens in their drunken stupor

[00:50:57] oh you're right yeah but um after reading more there's a couple people there that are sober so

[00:51:02] never mind but that is the the divide by went in with because it's just immediately drunk people

[00:51:11] talking so yeah then moving on so uh upon shooting the gun into the darkness

[00:51:20] Ray and Paul yell at each other questioning what the grown noise was Ray punches Paul

[00:51:26] which spurs Lou, Donnie and Vic to all tackle and choke him out

[00:51:31] um to me that seems a bit excessive just for like him throwing one punch like yeah he's an

[00:51:37] angry drunk but he wasn't attacking all of them it's not like he was like I'm gonna

[00:51:42] beat the fuck out of all of you now like he didn't do that

[00:51:45] he wasn't like uh he wasn't gently from the one you are all my bitches

[00:51:50] yeah like he kind of just needed to do that one punch in that that would be most of his anger

[00:51:55] gone because he was the one that was pissing him off the whole time and then later on

[00:52:00] Ray wakes up and is being an angry drunk drunk in the garage so they all decide the only

[00:52:06] sensible thing to it's a threatened to kill him with a gun yeah fuck guys I mean again like

[00:52:13] at this point like it sometime has passed they've all they're all in a panicked

[00:52:17] and like desperate state so like it this is this is the time when like um it either makes or breaks

[00:52:24] people so like maybe there's not thinking straight because of the desperate situation

[00:52:28] but it hasn't been that much time no mention of them sleeping has happened

[00:52:33] okay I'm sorry like like an hour of of like them like panicking stuff like that has gone by at least

[00:52:38] well okay but we're not at the level of pulling a gun out on a guy just because he's angry

[00:52:43] at least it didn't feel like it these jumps in it felt like it kept escalating quickly yeah

[00:52:51] like no reason honestly yeah like like we said earlier I think there should be some some points

[00:52:56] in the story where like we get like a small break or some sentences that say like show

[00:53:02] like that time is passing so that it doesn't see because I will agree like it does feel like

[00:53:06] like this thing is escalating just like like quick quick quick yeah it felt like they were

[00:53:11] jumping the gun

[00:53:19] it's like get out get out gamer you're drunk and you're like guys we're the outside

[00:53:24] where the outside go

[00:53:27] where the offline world go

[00:53:32] I'm just stuck sitting on my chair

[00:53:35] but yeah yeah and then um soon after he shoots the gun into the darkness

[00:53:44] they check to see if there's any more ammo in the gun

[00:53:46] and it's the cylinder is empty after only one shot so they're like shoot when you find ammo

[00:53:51] so that means that luke keeps a revolver loaded with only one bullet under his bed

[00:53:58] that is dark

[00:54:07] that's fucking dark

[00:54:10] whole shit and it's not mentioned no one catches I mean you guys didn't catch on but none of the

[00:54:15] characters catch onto it oh god yeah like I don't think I need to extrapolate further on what that means

[00:54:23] yeah we're gonna do a bueno yeah like

[00:54:30] indeed oof I guess one thing you can do is like and then like only there was one bullet sitting in

[00:54:36] there even if the gun was there under the bed there was like a bullet sitting on the ground next to

[00:54:41] the gun that's still iffy and he had to like load it also he moves the gun around what changes

[00:54:48] the location of the gun on a regular basis he doesn't want people to find his you know gun yeah

[00:54:58] yeah that that got way darker than I thought it was going to go like that yeah go ahead

[00:55:05] well no it's just like um like I because when I first read it I was thinking more like oh god is

[00:55:10] like Vic just gonna start shooting like shooting everybody because like like it's like well we're

[00:55:14] fucked bang bang like basically do the end of the the ending of the mist where like everyone gets

[00:55:19] killed because like there's no point in like they're they've lost all hope um but no that's even the

[00:55:26] heart that that's that's another darkness right there you're proposing yeah for sure because yeah

[00:55:33] that's that's some shit right there so dark you sure you're not part of the DC universe maybe I am

[00:55:40] but that's part of the problem with the story for me is like I found that revelation

[00:55:49] way creepier than everything else in the story yeah that connotation is like

[00:55:57] oh man like that's the thing that well that's the thing between like with like uh real horror

[00:56:04] and like supernatural horror like supernatural horror has the safety blanket of like it's

[00:56:09] not real it's like this is like the darkness consuming this this this house and these people

[00:56:14] like getting picked off by or like getting taken by this this entity it's it's creepy you can't

[00:56:21] it's creepy and horrific but at the end of the day it is still fictional so that's the safety

[00:56:27] blanket of it when you when you throw in that implication of a real world horror thing I was

[00:56:33] like why does Lou only have one bullet in his gun that's been that he stores under his bed

[00:56:39] like that I don't I don't know if if Serena writes like um meant for that to be in there as or if

[00:56:48] that's like a weird like creepy like um just like a little bit of world building or like world

[00:56:55] suggest world building like Easter egg suggestion kind of thing like a character built like

[00:57:00] development but character like just detailed that like if you know you know kind of creepy thing

[00:57:07] yeah because also like when you think about it too like him and um and Vic are in the closet yeah

[00:57:17] so him being in the closet for a long time might be part of the reason why he's considering that

[00:57:23] is something from what I understand is something all too common unfortunately yeah very unfortunately

[00:57:30] um yeah no that's yeah wow that is

[00:57:37] so dark the word is right out my mouth yeah like and again like like it just kind of was like

[00:57:45] that overshadows the horror of the the supernatural in the story yeah it's more all consuming than

[00:57:53] the darkness yeah like that's miasma like miasma saw Lou is like whoa hold on

[00:58:03] yeah but I'll move on or sorry actually there's a quick thing okay I won't move on go ahead

[00:58:09] alternatively like for the story like you could also develop the story is like maybe that's why

[00:58:14] miasma is here is because he's a manifestation of that uh that desperation that isolation

[00:58:21] that depression like he's a he's a he's a manifestation of negative emotions

[00:58:26] um that is now is all consuming darkness around that house like that because it seems like this

[00:58:33] this group of friends there's definitely some toxicity in the in the in the group in this in this uh

[00:58:40] this group yeah like between like the the violent angry drunk um and uh and the two

[00:58:49] closeted characters or maybe not closet because like there is definitely like there's some like

[00:58:54] it said not he was basically saying that in front of the guys yeah that's that's that's what kind of

[00:58:59] got me was like is it like are the other guys aware of it or is it like a hush hush thing

[00:59:05] if they're aware with it aware of it and cool they wouldn't care that's true yeah um but yeah

[00:59:11] like and we don't really know much about donnie or paul because like they're literally cardboard

[00:59:17] cutouts yeah only made to be beaten apparently in the story frozen yeah um well i think the

[00:59:25] front i don't think it's so much frozen as like he's basically bleeding internally from that when i

[00:59:29] got punched um i think the shivering was more of like his body is like shutting down in certain parts

[00:59:35] so yes um but yeah like um so like there's definitely some kind of um like there's

[00:59:41] some definitely negative energy coming off these these characters so like

[00:59:46] maybe like if the story was to be altered like that is the that's really what miasma is about

[00:59:51] is like not like taking people when they're in the wrong place the wrong time it's just like

[00:59:55] they're a manifest it's a manifestation of or it it shows up at places that have like a high

[01:00:02] negative energy about them sort of thing yeah and think about it too lou's house

[01:00:09] lou is the uh is the one who brought up how everyone is being annoying and always fighting

[01:00:16] like he's the one that's a fridge full of hard liquor in the garage yeah not just beer it's like

[01:00:24] hard specifically hard liquor in the garage like yeah that this is like not a great environment

[01:00:30] no but also these characters are a lot deeper at least lou is a lot deeper than what the

[01:00:38] story actually shows yeah that's what yeah exactly like and and there is like and the fact

[01:00:43] that we're getting this like three hints and bits in the story is a testament to it i'm also just

[01:00:47] assuming all of this i might be saying this and the author like whoa pull it back i was like i did

[01:00:55] not attend this but i am taking notes yeah no i like i'm not again we don't know because like uh like

[01:01:04] until i guess um like serena right listens to this if they listen to this um uh but yeah like i i

[01:01:13] literally kind of want to know like was that intentional yeah and if so like like i think

[01:01:18] yeah there's definitely some some uh some material here for like extrapolating more on that in the

[01:01:25] story um god yeah wow meet usually this is mickey's job gamer you're you're stealing your

[01:01:34] he took his job you took his job he's like damn that is a really like really good uh like you made

[01:01:43] the story better i did it uh with that or you made that with that with that single idea or concept

[01:01:50] i was like whoa they got way darker thinking because as soon as you think of that it's like oh wait you

[01:01:57] have to rethink everything now oh this is that because of that and that means this is that because of that

[01:02:02] oh god yeah exactly it's not just like ha ha oh weird cosmic entity just shows up and like

[01:02:08] disappear certain people if they're because they're in the wrong place so they weren't meant

[01:02:10] to be born or whatever it's like no no no it's like this like no this is the bottom of the iceberg

[01:02:18] gun with one bullet under his bed

[01:02:23] it's like whoa pretty much

[01:02:27] but uh i'll move on from there finally yeah the only other thing i have is um when it was mentioned

[01:02:33] that there was a light that they were seeing in the darkness and then it kind of went away

[01:02:38] what i first assumed was um that was the creature opening its mouth

[01:02:44] yeah there could be they're inside some giant creature or some tiny creature like Kirby um

[01:02:53] but just like the opening to the outside opened briefly as it consumed something else yeah that

[01:03:00] that could have been i also just thought it was the bullet hole in the before the bullet hole

[01:03:04] there was a light oh was there yeah i thought the bullet hole i thought i thought the the

[01:03:10] light in the darkness okay all right because there was a light and then later on it says there's

[01:03:15] a light but this time it was red and then that's when he has to talk after the shot are you sure

[01:03:20] i'm pretty sure i get to another i don't want to like not like miss merchant anything but i

[01:03:26] i think that i i think the light was prior to the bullet or i think the light was was

[01:03:34] after the bullet i walked back over to tv tried to run again no dice turned around the

[01:03:40] lou and donnie at the graduate and grown looked to the door in the darkness mortified a faint

[01:03:46] light shown on the other end hello i screamed no response hello i screamed against no response

[01:03:51] vik ball asked who's pouring buck is sweating half awake then he goes back in so that's not gun

[01:03:57] where's where's the gun yeah i think the gun should be easy to find boom you'd think so

[01:04:02] where the f*** it boom there was supposed to be a kaboom

[01:04:10] now there it is i showed the gun to the guys boom i opened the door as the other four guys crowded

[01:04:15] around me i held the gun in both hands it was a shiny revolver never used i aimed and fired

[01:04:21] into the abyss the muzzle flare fire flared and illuminated the darkness and yeah yeah i think

[01:04:28] yes and that that was but there was no light there yeah there was no light there he just fired into

[01:04:33] the darkness and then when he when he looked out again after like a little a little bit later

[01:04:39] then he saw a light out there and i was like so the bullet finally hit something out there

[01:04:45] oh i guess that's why i should i know it could also it could also be his mouth like though like

[01:04:49] it could have also been um because i think that that's what the like the the whole or the

[01:04:53] light changed to like a different color and then suddenly became a face right so

[01:04:59] so i think it it sort of left ambiguous as to whether or not it was like the from the gun shot

[01:05:05] or if it was just uh miasma showing his his face to them

[01:05:11] but either way in the moment the first thing i thought was

[01:05:15] like the shot happened and nothing really happened or no there was a grown on the

[01:05:19] shot right uh yeah there was uh that's why i thought it was a um yeah they were inside a

[01:05:25] mouth immediately because he's got shot on the inside of the gums basically exactly that's

[01:05:30] the wrong honestly that's why i thought it was uh like um well that's why i thought it was like

[01:05:35] it was like the the light at the at the next time we see the light or the first time we see

[01:05:39] the light i thought it was like oh it's a bullet hole because and this creature is groaning so

[01:05:42] because it just got shot in the cheek um or like um yeah because it says uh well that didn't work

[01:05:49] and then they all started hearing a groaning uh and like a loud gravelly groan and then

[01:05:56] the closest the door so i mean it's possible they are still inside the mouth of some being and

[01:06:01] but it it's be soon through this like weird magical light thing who knows i don't know how this

[01:06:07] creature works it's it could it's honestly it's a cosm air it's some kind of like outer being

[01:06:15] that we can't really comprehend it's it's it's a morphic it can change so yeah

[01:06:24] yeah that's a better all yet for notes all right then i guess on two final thoughts

[01:06:31] so not gonna lie i really did enjoy the story like the setup of it and all that

[01:06:35] and the ending is just is that bittersweet escape ending in this horror story that you can't help but

[01:06:41] get hit in the feels for like it's like like yeah the survivors survived but then they realized

[01:06:46] that they've lost everybody along the way um so and for a for as short and quickly as

[01:06:55] these things progress and how smoothly it read i could use some more meat on the bones

[01:07:03] like to make the to make me care a bit more about these victims not just victor um i also

[01:07:10] did really enjoy miasma's nature that said given what gamer just brought a fourth with like

[01:07:18] the gun and the bullet and the single bullet i think maybe some tweaks to miasma's nature

[01:07:24] to like kind of reflect the sort of negative energy and toxicity of this frame group

[01:07:29] and why they were picked maybe because of that i think would be really cool and compelling um and

[01:07:37] sorry to cut you off it might not be like targeting the entire group it might be specifically targeting

[01:07:42] the loot yeah and there everybody else was just kind of like caught in the crossfire yeah

[01:07:49] yeah it could be that or it could also be and it could have also been attracted to rey and his

[01:07:53] his aggression um because of how because like again like when you're an angry drunk sometimes

[01:07:58] like it's like you're not a bad person it's just you don't want to drink because or like you shouldn't

[01:08:03] be drinking because that's it brings up like the dark shit out of you um so like rey might be

[01:08:09] like a great guy when he's when he's sober but then when he starts drinking that's when

[01:08:13] like the demons come out effectively you have to let them keep drinking yeah it's like someone

[01:08:20] that will remain unuh unnamed just keeps eating pizza even though his body can't

[01:08:27] process pizza and he farts off of the place every time he has pizza i wasn't gonna bring it up but

[01:08:33] honestly that's what that's also who i envisioned uh um miasma sounding like because

[01:08:38] he's constantly shouting oh yeah fair because he doesn't have an indoor voice yeah

[01:08:45] uh but yeah um so with that all said all in all there is definitely some room for improvement

[01:08:54] um and like i maybe even some retooling of some of the the things in the story if

[01:09:00] if what we're suspecting is is like an accident in the writing like i feel like those might be

[01:09:07] some things you may want to like consider looking into like and like developing in the story

[01:09:12] because as it is i'm still gonna partially recommend it but like i was teetering on the

[01:09:17] edge of like a full recommendation for this one because like i did enjoy the story as presented

[01:09:22] and now that gamers brought up this other aspect of this way darker aspect that i didn't read the

[01:09:27] first time around um i'm like i don't i don't want to give it a full recommendation because

[01:09:33] of that because that's something that we came that we found out yeah um and it's and you

[01:09:39] found out and you brought to our attention so like i feel like maybe need to be a little bit more

[01:09:45] known if that wasn't intended so it could be developed a little bit more because of that

[01:09:50] so i'm still going to give it a high partial recommendation

[01:09:55] mickey these stands for evil all right so let's see i like the monster

[01:10:02] with the darkness that's all consuming and it was interesting having the night sky turn to

[01:10:14] red stars basically yeah um and the the part that i'm knocking it down for is the

[01:10:28] caps in the grammar because it just it became like i said hard to distinguish who was talking

[01:10:41] like is it miasma or is it someone else because they all talk loudly and i mean

[01:10:48] there's an exclamation mark for a reason yeah like you can have

[01:10:55] regular characters just yelling but you have the exclamation marks you don't need all caps

[01:11:01] and then have the entity speaking all caps like yeah true all caps technically like an internet

[01:11:09] thing isn't it yeah all caps is how you like shout on the internet yeah yeah

[01:11:16] so or speak as a weird being from beyond time and space yeah actually if you want to go

[01:11:22] really crazy with his writing with with his uh his um with with miasma's dialogue there should have

[01:11:28] been like it should have just been like poor like upper case uppercase lowcase just like jumbled through

[01:11:35] oh yeah because then you get that then yeah then it would seem weird and it'd be like um

[01:11:44] like you kind of be reading it like a weird like fluctuating way

[01:11:48] mm-hmm kind of like how it's actually almost as if it was like talking with like two voices i.e.

[01:11:54] like a woman in a man's voice mm-hmm yeah that's a really good way to do it actually yeah yeah

[01:12:02] that that would fix the issues um but the the stupid argument again with the the ray and

[01:12:13] paul at the beginning saying that you can't die of alcohol poisoning uh and then ray just trying

[01:12:21] to prove his point by downing many bottles of hard liquor well again that was just again just

[01:12:28] proving like showing ray giving us giving us a goddamn character like or like like some

[01:12:35] some character like um description in ray through his actions yeah so

[01:12:44] yeah um yeah it

[01:12:50] overall i'm still only giving us a partial okay all right then gamer your final thoughts

[01:12:58] yeah um for me well now that i've gotten to my final thoughts i see where i um where i lost power

[01:13:08] because i've like barely done any of my final thoughts so i'm gonna be doing most of this on the

[01:13:13] fly okay um so reading through it it was kind of hard to understand who he's talking at any

[01:13:20] given moment because there's few references of who's talking um which is a shame because those

[01:13:29] instances of just growing up who's talking could also give you avenues to describe the characters

[01:13:35] more because we know so little about them um i like that i found that the darkness the super

[01:13:41] darkness in here yeah yeah the grim reality yeah the grim darkness in this all encompassing

[01:13:48] darkness um that was a cool revelation for me but again i don't even know if that's meant to be

[01:13:56] yeah i feel like we may need some confirmation from the author like actually if you're supposed to

[01:14:02] read that through the lines or not yeah yeah i would i'm not demanding it obviously like

[01:14:09] but i would i would really like the author did it if they listen to this and they hear this part

[01:14:14] would you please let us know if that was intentional or not because we're really curious

[01:14:20] for sure um but yeah i as i said the things escalated really quickly the characters acted

[01:14:30] in a manner that i didn't feel was realistic in regards to their escalation of having to

[01:14:36] quote-unquote deal with uh with ray or like they immediately all jump them just because

[01:14:42] he threw one punch and then like he's freaking he woke up okay go get the gun like he wasn't

[01:14:52] it's not like he was acting like he was a fucking monster like he was just an angry drunk like you

[01:14:57] locked him in the garage great you guys are safe just chill if we get that scene from dress work

[01:15:03] it's gonna come through the glass bang bang yeah it's one thing if he came through the glass

[01:15:09] and still was swinging then sure go run inside the gun which eventually he does

[01:15:17] come through the glass or at least gets gets the door open somehow and like and comes out

[01:15:22] swinging at donny yes in hindsight it's good they had the gun ahead of time not that it did

[01:15:28] anything but they shouldn't have known that they would have needed the gun yeah true just like

[01:15:34] because you know the escalation was weird but because of those reasons i'm still gonna give this a partial

[01:15:41] um i don't know if i'm gonna go partial low still because like there are good aspects of this and

[01:15:47] i like the setup of all this we're just like they're hanging out everything's fine and then

[01:15:52] you open the door everything's not fine what the fuck but i feel like it this story deserved

[01:15:58] to be longer honestly or at least have more um reference to the the time span that's happening

[01:16:05] because yeah me reading this it felt like all of this happened in about 30 minutes which yeah

[01:16:13] and now you understand why i'm like how is this escalating so fast yeah no i get you like like it

[01:16:19] i even says like wow that escalated quickly like because like right off the hop we're just getting

[01:16:23] like the darkness in showing up yeah like yeah i i feel like there definitely could be used like

[01:16:30] some extra like scenes of of the show the passage time a little bit more than just like an hour went

[01:16:35] by and we were losing our shit kind of thing yeah yeah but for the concept alone i'll still give it

[01:16:42] a partial because i do i did like the read um it's just there's a lot of aspects of it that

[01:16:49] bothered me namely one part being creepy than the other parts escalation time stuff i've already said

[01:16:56] i don't need to beat that dead horse again so i'll still give a partial it needs work but

[01:17:02] we can't all be who was phone no no one else no that was like hitting the striking lightning or

[01:17:07] loves striking

[01:17:12] all right well um i guess basically partial recommendations across the board

[01:17:16] yeah more or less yeah um so that'll do it for this week's episode uh if you like what you

[01:17:24] heard or if you didn't leave us a comment in the comment section below where this gets posted

[01:17:28] we're all on twitter mikey's at the east ends for evil the gamer in yellow is at the

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[01:19:17] you