[00:00.000 --> 00:29.000] Oh hello and welcome to Al Dente Rigamortis, I'm Review Cultist. I'm Mikey, the Stand Trevel, and I'm the Gamer in Yellow, but without the W because that's too long.
[00:29.000 --> 00:51.000] And we're here to discuss those internet stories, most creepy and most pasta, and be critically silly doing it. And tonight we have a very special episode as we're covering a story from one of our listeners to us, Al Dente Rigamortis, titled The Cottage.
[00:52.000 --> 01:02.000] And one of our quote unquote listeners, Mr. Person who gives me a PDF to download. I've been fooled before by you on April Fool's.
[01:02.000 --> 01:05.000] This is a real-time start here.
[01:05.000 --> 01:11.000] This isn't being released on April Fool's.
[01:11.000 --> 01:27.000] So this was actually given to me, I think, about a month ago, or like busy like a month into around November or December, I think is when the listener contacted me about this.
[01:27.000 --> 01:37.000] And they specifically told me to hold off on revealing who they were until after we had done the, the, our episode for it.
[01:37.000 --> 01:46.000] So, but yeah, we are covering this story that a listener wrote for us called The Cottage.
[01:46.000 --> 01:53.000] So, before we dive too far into it, let's give our initial recommendations.
[01:53.000 --> 01:56.000] I'm going to partially recommend this one.
[01:56.000 --> 02:00.000] I'm going to not recommend this one.
[02:00.000 --> 02:01.000] Okay.
[02:01.000 --> 02:02.000] My God.
[02:02.000 --> 02:04.000] I'll partially recommend this one.
[02:04.000 --> 02:06.000] All right.
[02:06.000 --> 02:09.000] Well, let's find out why.
[02:09.000 --> 02:20.000] Starting with the rundown. So, review cultist wakes up with a concussion and a pain in his side and finds that his family cottage is burning down.
[02:20.000 --> 02:23.000] It's later in the winter.
[02:23.000 --> 02:32.000] But the lake nearby is thawed. And as he calls out, he hears a noise coming from his floating dock.
[02:32.000 --> 02:40.000] When he arrives, he finds Mikey, his ADR co-host injured and on the dock.
[02:41.000 --> 03:00.000] As review cultist helps him to shore, Mikey reveals that something came out of the woods and attacked him and gamer in yellow as they were heading to review cultists place, taking gamer in yellow in the process and hurting Mikey's leg before retreating back into the tree line.
[03:00.000 --> 03:10.000] The two managed to find the sugar shack on the property, where review cultist's family cooks up maple syrup, unbeknownst to the maple mafia.
[03:10.000 --> 03:25.000] To find that the power inside is on and the evaporator is running by the based off the steam coming out of the, well, I don't, the cupola, the chimney of the shack.
[03:25.000 --> 03:41.000] When they go inside, review cultist is attacked and knocked out, waking up shortly after to find that it was his dog Lucy licking his face as he was, as she was cooped up in the sugar shack.
[03:41.000 --> 03:51.000] They all get inside and hide in relative safety, though, when they check their phones, there's no signal while waiting.
[03:51.000 --> 03:57.000] Even on Lucy's phone? Yeah, even on Lucy's phone. Yeah, I am.
[03:57.000 --> 04:05.000] That's not actually in the story. Anyway, listening to gamers making a funny.
[04:05.000 --> 04:22.000] While waiting review cultist checks the maple syrup, which is ready to be bottled. But as soon as he starts the process, the things outside start crashing about and yelling, give me the syrup. It's not for you and the like.
[04:22.000 --> 04:43.000] When light is shown on them, it is revealed that the evil maple trees are moving around outside, kind of like the the Wizard of Oz trees or like pop culture media shows like evil trees, like with an insidious like jack-o-lantern style face.
[04:43.000 --> 04:47.000] And that's what's behind the attacks outside.
[04:47.000 --> 05:06.000] Review cultist then looks at the filled bottle in his hand and doesn't recognize the color or engraved branding as one that is commonly used for their maple syrup. It's a red bottle with an elder sign on the on the bottle.
[05:06.000 --> 05:09.000] Then he wakes up.
[05:10.000 --> 05:25.000] Apparently, review cultist passed out at his gaming table and his dad is calling him from the other room telling him that Mikey is there and waiting for them to go out and open the cottage in the sugar shack for the season.
[05:25.000 --> 05:41.000] As review cultist heads to his SUV where Mikey is waiting, his dad tells him to bring Lucy along and also hands him a paper bag with a bottle to fill up and bring back for someone who's who it's spoken for.
[05:42.000 --> 05:50.000] In the bag was a red bottle with an inscription on the back that read crafted with love.
[05:51.000 --> 05:55.000] Not just a red bottle, it's the same red bottle as in the dream.
[05:55.000 --> 05:58.000] Yes, although apparently it doesn't have the elder sign.
[05:59.000 --> 06:05.000] No, it doesn't. It has a three branch like symbol on it. Not a one was.
[06:05.000 --> 06:12.000] No, okay. Yes, the first one in the dream had, I have a whole thing about this in my actual thoughts, honestly.
[06:12.000 --> 06:21.000] But yeah, in the dream, it has the branch like symbol, which is the original like OG Lovecraft elder sign.
[06:21.000 --> 06:24.000] But in reality, it's a maple leaf.
[06:25.000 --> 06:27.000] And then on the other side, it says crafted with love.
[06:27.000 --> 06:29.000] I completely read over that.
[06:29.000 --> 06:34.000] So did I read bottle and went, okay, it's got the same sign.
[06:34.000 --> 06:40.000] I have, yeah, I have, I have a thing about this because I did the same thing. Honestly, you're not, you're not alone.
[06:40.000 --> 06:44.000] And I have a bit about this, but.
[06:44.000 --> 06:46.000] Saying cut it out.
[06:46.000 --> 06:51.000] I that I will do. Okay.
[06:51.000 --> 07:00.000] So, yeah, moving on to everyone tolerance around my positions at this point.
[07:00.000 --> 07:02.000] Mike, do you have anything?
[07:02.000 --> 07:07.000] Yes. Yes, I do. All right.
[07:07.000 --> 07:12.000] I was very harsh because I assume this was done by cultist. Yes.
[07:12.000 --> 07:16.000] Really? Okay.
[07:16.000 --> 07:20.000] So I have to put you in your place, you know.
[07:20.000 --> 07:22.000] Okay.
[07:22.000 --> 07:23.000] All right.
[07:23.000 --> 07:25.000] The other sentence.
[07:25.000 --> 07:30.000] The others at home can't see this, but I'm having, I have the biggest shit eating grin on my face right now.
[07:30.000 --> 07:38.000] So, first sentence.
[07:38.000 --> 07:49.000] As he came back to consciousness, review cultist or see felt both hot and cold and had a pain in his side.
[07:49.000 --> 07:54.000] So, my problem is with the ends.
[07:54.000 --> 08:10.000] So the both hot and cold and had a pain. So, I feel it needs to be broken up with either a comment after cold or breaking off the pain inside side into a whole other sentence.
[08:10.000 --> 08:18.000] Yeah, I could see that like maybe even have a comma or even instead of that last and at the end there like have it like hot and cold.
[08:18.000 --> 08:23.000] With a like replace that and with something with with.
[08:23.000 --> 08:26.000] Maybe. Yeah.
[08:26.000 --> 08:31.000] Well, I did hot and cold period. He also had a pain in his side.
[08:31.000 --> 08:32.000] Yeah.
[08:32.000 --> 08:35.000] You only want one and sentence right. Yeah.
[08:35.000 --> 08:36.000] Yeah.
[08:36.000 --> 08:45.000] Well, especially with the both there because you had saying both hot and cold and pain. So there's three things.
[08:45.000 --> 08:48.000] So it should be hot cold and pain.
[08:48.000 --> 08:53.000] Or yes, other options, but either way too many ends. Yeah.
[08:53.000 --> 08:55.000] Yeah. Okay.
[08:55.000 --> 09:01.000] And then I have the same issue later on.
[09:01.000 --> 09:10.000] Where seemingly replaying the events from earlier that evening, he woke up both hot and cold and with an uncomfortable stitch in his side.
[09:11.000 --> 09:14.000] So literally just break it up.
[09:14.000 --> 09:19.000] Because the both hot and cold is not.
[09:21.000 --> 09:23.000] Not helpful when there's a third item.
[09:27.000 --> 09:28.000] All right.
[09:28.000 --> 09:31.000] My next one here.
[09:31.000 --> 09:33.000] Sentence number two.
[09:33.000 --> 09:39.000] The entire story. You just dissect.
[09:39.000 --> 09:46.000] Let's see. Is it sentence number two? It is sentence number two. Oh my God. I was joking. Jesus.
[09:46.000 --> 09:59.000] Taking stock of his surroundings, he lay in the snow next to his family's cottage, which was in flames.
[09:59.000 --> 10:04.000] So it's hard to have this come through in the podcast.
[10:04.000 --> 10:08.000] But based on the commas in this.
[10:08.000 --> 10:11.000] The surroundings are in flames.
[10:11.000 --> 10:15.000] But the cottage is fine.
[10:15.000 --> 10:17.000] Yeah.
[10:17.000 --> 10:26.000] Yeah. So you use typically use commas to interject something into the sentence.
[10:26.000 --> 10:35.000] So taking out the laying in the cottage, the sentence reads, taking stock of his surroundings, which was in flames.
[10:36.000 --> 10:38.000] Okay.
[10:38.000 --> 10:48.000] The last noun that was brought up is the family's cottage says he lay in the snow next to his cottage, which was in flames.
[10:48.000 --> 10:49.000] Yeah.
[10:49.000 --> 10:51.000] Yeah. Well, the.
[10:51.000 --> 10:53.000] So, no.
[10:53.000 --> 10:55.000] It.
[10:55.000 --> 10:59.000] Well, it needs to be broken up a little bit.
[10:59.000 --> 11:01.000] In some way.
[11:02.000 --> 11:05.000] Because.
[11:05.000 --> 11:08.000] Or made clearer.
[11:08.000 --> 11:13.000] What? Wait, hang on. I agree with with gamer. Actually, like this sentence is fine.
[11:13.000 --> 11:20.000] If it said taking stock of his surroundings, which were in flames while he laid next to the cottage, I would agree with you.
[11:20.000 --> 11:21.000] But it doesn't say that.
[11:21.000 --> 11:28.000] No, it says taking stock of his surroundings. He lay in the snow next to his family cottage, comma, which was in flames.
[11:29.000 --> 11:32.000] His cottage, the family cottage is the thing in flames.
[11:32.000 --> 11:35.000] Well, or to move the comma.
[11:35.000 --> 11:37.000] So.
[11:37.000 --> 11:45.000] He lay in the snow comma next to his family's cottage, which was in flames.
[11:45.000 --> 11:46.000] Yeah.
[11:46.000 --> 11:47.000] Sure.
[11:47.000 --> 11:49.000] Yeah, that would fix it for me.
[11:49.000 --> 11:50.000] Okay.
[11:50.000 --> 11:54.000] If you and it doesn't record for us, then that's a overall fix.
[11:54.000 --> 11:55.000] Yeah.
[11:55.000 --> 11:57.000] We got there.
[11:57.000 --> 11:59.000] All right.
[11:59.000 --> 12:00.000] Next.
[12:00.000 --> 12:05.000] This was not the normal season to be at the cottage.
[12:05.000 --> 12:10.000] And even aside from the flames, things seemed wrong.
[12:10.000 --> 12:16.000] I feel like this should be separated into.
[12:16.000 --> 12:19.000] A couple sentences.
[12:20.000 --> 12:26.000] Because the season has nothing to do with the flames.
[12:32.000 --> 12:34.000] And seeming wrong.
[12:34.000 --> 12:40.000] Well, I think it's like part of the wrong feeling is being there out of season as well.
[12:41.000 --> 12:44.000] Maybe that's why it was.
[12:44.000 --> 12:45.000] Yeah.
[12:45.000 --> 12:50.000] Because otherwise it would just be like he was there out of season period moving on.
[12:50.000 --> 12:53.000] Like it'd be too short of a sentence.
[12:53.000 --> 12:55.000] It has to be connected to something, right?
[12:55.000 --> 12:57.000] Yeah.
[12:57.000 --> 13:03.000] Well, but.
[13:03.000 --> 13:06.000] Saying it was not.
[13:06.000 --> 13:09.000] The normal season for him to be at the cottage.
[13:10.000 --> 13:13.000] Like having that cut out and then.
[13:13.000 --> 13:17.000] The other section talking about.
[13:17.000 --> 13:22.000] The flames and things seeming wrong.
[13:22.000 --> 13:24.000] It's just.
[13:24.000 --> 13:26.000] They are too.
[13:26.000 --> 13:27.000] Being talked about.
[13:27.000 --> 13:28.000] I get it.
[13:28.000 --> 13:29.000] Yeah.
[13:29.000 --> 13:30.000] Yeah.
[13:30.000 --> 13:32.000] Well, I think I think what's trying to say is like.
[13:33.000 --> 13:35.000] This is not the normal season for him to be at the cottage.
[13:35.000 --> 13:37.000] And even aside from the flames, this seems wrong.
[13:37.000 --> 13:42.000] Like there's something off about this whole like situation aside from the fact that it's.
[13:42.000 --> 13:43.000] The cottage is on fire.
[13:43.000 --> 13:46.000] And also this is the wrong season for him to even be here.
[13:46.000 --> 13:48.000] Yeah.
[13:48.000 --> 13:50.000] Who is he supposed to be here today?
[13:50.000 --> 13:51.000] Yeah.
[13:51.000 --> 13:55.000] It's sort of it almost kind of is a prelude to what happened.
[13:55.000 --> 13:57.000] What the reveal we find later.
[13:58.000 --> 14:02.000] Or it's like a foreshadowing for what we find out later where it's like this was all a dream kind of thing.
[14:02.000 --> 14:03.000] Yeah.
[14:03.000 --> 14:06.000] All right.
[14:06.000 --> 14:10.000] The next one.
[14:10.000 --> 14:12.000] A great SUV.
[14:12.000 --> 14:14.000] They on its side in the drive.
[14:14.000 --> 14:15.000] He's eating off the house.
[14:15.000 --> 14:16.000] Is he actually going?
[14:16.000 --> 14:17.000] Are you actually?
[14:17.000 --> 14:18.000] Yeah.
[14:18.000 --> 14:21.000] Are you legitimately going to go through like line by line?
[14:21.000 --> 14:23.000] If he has a problem with every line, then.
[14:23.000 --> 14:24.000] Oh my God.
[14:24.000 --> 14:27.000] Okay. So tonight on a four hour episode.
[14:27.000 --> 14:30.000] Jesus.
[14:30.000 --> 14:32.000] I'm sure it'll stop.
[14:32.000 --> 14:33.000] It's fine.
[14:33.000 --> 14:35.000] Hopefully it gets better at the end.
[14:35.000 --> 14:36.000] Okay.
[14:36.000 --> 14:37.000] Yeah.
[14:37.000 --> 14:39.000] On the last paragraph.
[14:39.000 --> 14:41.000] He doesn't do the last sentence.
[14:41.000 --> 14:42.000] Yeah.
[14:42.000 --> 14:43.000] Okay.
[14:43.000 --> 14:48.000] So what do you have wrong with the with the third or fourths sentence now?
[14:48.000 --> 14:52.000] Well, replace the comma with the semicolon.
[14:53.000 --> 14:54.000] Okay. Yeah.
[14:54.000 --> 14:55.000] Yeah.
[14:55.000 --> 14:57.000] All right.
[14:57.000 --> 14:58.000] Yeah.
[14:58.000 --> 15:01.000] A simple thing to use a semicolon.
[15:01.000 --> 15:03.000] Yeah.
[15:03.000 --> 15:08.000] All right.
[15:08.000 --> 15:10.000] Let's see here.
[15:10.000 --> 15:13.000] Next one.
[15:13.000 --> 15:21.000] The house was a loss, but shelter was available nearby in the sugar shack where RC's family.
[15:21.000 --> 15:26.000] Processed their maple crop unbeknownst to the maple mafia.
[15:26.000 --> 15:30.000] What is wrong with that?
[15:30.000 --> 15:38.000] I would split it up and add a semicolon after sugar shed.
[15:38.000 --> 15:42.000] Um, so.
[15:42.000 --> 15:45.000] The house was a loss.
[15:46.000 --> 15:48.000] Um,
[15:48.000 --> 15:50.000] I don't know about that.
[15:50.000 --> 15:54.000] Yeah.
[15:54.000 --> 15:57.000] I prefer the flow but as it is.
[15:57.000 --> 15:59.000] Cause like.
[15:59.000 --> 16:00.000] If anything,
[16:00.000 --> 16:04.000] the things that should be connected together with a semicolon are the house and
[16:04.000 --> 16:06.000] referring to other shelters.
[16:06.000 --> 16:07.000] Mm.
[16:07.000 --> 16:08.000] Yeah.
[16:08.000 --> 16:10.000] I prefer the flow of it as it is.
[16:10.000 --> 16:12.000] Cause like.
[16:13.000 --> 16:18.000] The semicolon are the house and referring to other shelter because they're.
[16:18.000 --> 16:20.000] Similar, right?
[16:20.000 --> 16:21.000] I don't know.
[16:21.000 --> 16:23.000] I like it the way it is.
[16:23.000 --> 16:24.000] Yeah.
[16:24.000 --> 16:25.000] Okay.
[16:25.000 --> 16:27.000] But that's me.
[16:27.000 --> 16:29.000] All right.
[16:29.000 --> 16:30.000] Next one.
[16:30.000 --> 16:35.000] Uh, there were no other cars there at the cottage.
[16:35.000 --> 16:38.000] So RC reason to is likely alone.
[16:38.000 --> 16:41.000] The second there is not needed.
[16:42.000 --> 16:45.000] So there were no other cars at the cottage.
[16:45.000 --> 16:46.000] Yeah. Okay.
[16:46.000 --> 16:47.000] Yeah.
[16:47.000 --> 16:51.000] That, that, that is certainly the mostly come at night, mostly double word.
[16:51.000 --> 16:52.000] Yeah.
[16:52.000 --> 16:54.000] That one I'll accept.
[16:54.000 --> 16:55.000] That's the first one.
[16:55.000 --> 16:56.000] That's fine.
[16:56.000 --> 16:57.000] Yeah.
[16:57.000 --> 17:02.000] That's the person that's not anal retentive version.
[17:02.000 --> 17:06.000] Hey, if you're going to call me out on my book, I mean, on the authors bullshit.
[17:06.000 --> 17:07.000] I'm going to call you.
[17:08.000 --> 17:11.000] Or did I.
[17:11.000 --> 17:19.000] Okay.
[17:19.000 --> 17:26.000] Next, uh, he racked his brain trying to remember the recent events that had led him here.
[17:26.000 --> 17:30.000] Uh, racked is the wrong.
[17:30.000 --> 17:33.000] So get rid of the W.
[17:33.000 --> 17:35.000] It was like racking a shotgun.
[17:35.000 --> 17:36.000] Is it really?
[17:36.000 --> 17:40.000] Well, W mean, the W rack means to destroy.
[17:40.000 --> 17:45.000] The without the W rack means to strain.
[17:45.000 --> 17:46.000] Yeah.
[17:46.000 --> 17:47.000] No, you're right.
[17:47.000 --> 17:48.000] Yeah.
[17:48.000 --> 17:49.000] Yeah.
[17:49.000 --> 17:50.000] He just like wrecked his brain.
[17:50.000 --> 17:51.000] Yeah.
[17:51.000 --> 17:52.000] No, you're right.
[17:52.000 --> 17:54.000] I'm looking at like, uh, I just googled like that.
[17:54.000 --> 17:56.000] The phrase with, with the, without the W.
[17:56.000 --> 17:58.000] And yeah, it's coming up with that.
[17:58.000 --> 18:00.000] Okay.
[18:01.000 --> 18:02.000] Is it rack or racked?
[18:02.000 --> 18:03.000] Uh, my brain.
[18:03.000 --> 18:05.000] There's actually a lot of the questions.
[18:05.000 --> 18:10.000] It can be either, but racking my brain is often considered more common at or standard choice.
[18:10.000 --> 18:14.000] With which relates to how the expression originated.
[18:14.000 --> 18:20.000] In this phrase, the verb rack with no W references, the tortured device.
[18:20.000 --> 18:23.000] Uh, called the rack without the W.
[18:23.000 --> 18:29.000] Um, in which a person was bound to a frame and was slowly stretched.
[18:29.000 --> 18:34.000] So, uh, so apparently it can be both, but like more, more commonly, it's the one with, without the W.
[18:34.000 --> 18:41.000] And then if the character was in like the Borderlands universe, there would be another spelling for racking your brain.
[18:41.000 --> 18:42.000] Yeah.
[18:42.000 --> 18:43.000] Yeah.
[18:43.000 --> 18:44.000] It'd be R.A.K.K.
[18:44.000 --> 18:45.000] Yeah.
[18:45.000 --> 18:46.000] Yeah.
[18:46.000 --> 18:47.000] Flying more.
[18:47.000 --> 18:55.000] They're, they're basically like the, the, the hawks and like the, the, the, the terror birds of, uh, or the vultures of border lands.
[18:55.000 --> 18:56.000] Right.
[18:56.000 --> 19:07.000] In the relative stillness and the light snow that was starting to fall, a clunk and some scraping was audible from the direction of the lake.
[19:07.000 --> 19:10.000] This is the start of paragraph three, by the way.
[19:10.000 --> 19:15.000] Uh, I broke this into two sentences.
[19:15.000 --> 19:22.000] So in the relative stillness, comma, light snow started to fall.
[19:22.000 --> 19:23.000] Period.
[19:24.000 --> 19:28.000] A clunk and some scraping was audible from the direction of the lake.
[19:28.000 --> 19:29.000] Yeah.
[19:29.000 --> 19:30.000] Yeah.
[19:30.000 --> 19:31.000] Not good.
[19:31.000 --> 19:32.000] All right.
[19:32.000 --> 19:43.000] So not being that far away and with the path connecting to the shack, RC decided to check on the source of the sound.
[19:43.000 --> 19:50.000] So I rewrote that to being not that far away from the noise.
[19:51.000 --> 19:59.000] On, comma, on a path connecting to the shack, comma, RC decided to investigate.
[20:02.000 --> 20:03.000] And then the next one.
[20:03.000 --> 20:13.000] On the, like, because the last thing that was mentioned in the previous sentence was the direction of the sound from the water. Yeah.
[20:14.000 --> 20:17.000] So what am I doubling down on?
[20:17.000 --> 20:27.000] Well, because the lot and the last sentence says that there's a sound and then the your correction is the start of this next sentence immediately references the sound again directly.
[20:27.000 --> 20:36.000] Yeah, I might almost like necessary because because there's just reference, then it's obviously referring to the sound.
[20:37.000 --> 20:44.000] So you're saying get rid of that and just say on a path connection to the shack, RC decided to investigate.
[20:44.000 --> 20:52.000] Oh, I'm fine with it saying not being that far away because it's referring to the sound isn't very far away.
[20:52.000 --> 20:55.000] Because we didn't get a distance from the sound previously.
[20:55.000 --> 20:58.000] We just got that there's a sound in that direction.
[20:58.000 --> 20:59.000] The not being.
[20:59.000 --> 21:00.000] Yeah.
[21:00.000 --> 21:03.000] Far away from the sound.
[21:04.000 --> 21:14.000] Well, the problem is, is the beginning of the sentence not being that far away doesn't say what you're not being that far away from.
[21:14.000 --> 21:17.000] I would say I would say this about this.
[21:17.000 --> 21:23.000] Because like every sentence doesn't have to completely stand on its own fully right.
[21:23.000 --> 21:25.000] No.
[21:25.000 --> 21:27.000] Because that's what paragraphs are for.
[21:28.000 --> 21:40.000] I would say this if like for correction for the sense have it changed like the beginning of it to be like, since it was on the way to the shack RC decided to check the source of the sound.
[21:40.000 --> 21:53.000] Like just get rid of the path part like not being too and not being too far away just like kind of change it to be like, since it was on the way to the shack anyway, he decided to go check out the sound.
[21:54.000 --> 21:56.000] It's not like referencing unnecessary things.
[21:56.000 --> 21:57.000] Yeah.
[21:57.000 --> 21:58.000] Yeah.
[21:58.000 --> 22:04.000] And and does kind of like help clarify what it's trying to say, which is the sound is in is is on the way to the shack.
[22:04.000 --> 22:06.000] So we decided to go check that out first.
[22:06.000 --> 22:07.000] Mm hmm.
[22:07.000 --> 22:08.000] Yeah.
[22:08.000 --> 22:10.000] All right.
[22:10.000 --> 22:18.000] So the next one stumbling slowly in a light days, RC made his way to the lakeside.
[22:19.000 --> 22:28.000] So I rewrote this that in a light days, comma, RC slowly stumbled to the lakeside.
[22:28.000 --> 22:29.000] Yeah.
[22:29.000 --> 22:33.000] I mean, I can give or take either of them.
[22:33.000 --> 22:34.000] What's wrong?
[22:34.000 --> 22:35.000] Yeah.
[22:35.000 --> 22:43.000] I'm like, they both work.
[22:44.000 --> 22:47.000] But why not what we have.
[22:47.000 --> 22:52.000] Aside from just being very in a retent of not kidding.
[22:52.000 --> 22:53.000] Not kidding.
[22:53.000 --> 22:54.000] Because this is very in a retentive.
[22:54.000 --> 22:57.000] I'm not going to lie.
[23:04.000 --> 23:07.000] Like I might put the timestamp for the grammar position on this.
[23:08.000 --> 23:12.000] You can just say that you like the wording of yours better.
[23:12.000 --> 23:13.000] That's.
[23:13.000 --> 23:14.000] Yeah.
[23:14.000 --> 23:15.000] All right.
[23:15.000 --> 23:33.000] But in those previous three that you just did, because those actually connected into the entire string of sentences that I linked for one of my grammar things, which technically not grammar, but in my opinion, there's missing content here.
[23:33.000 --> 23:34.000] Okay.
[23:34.000 --> 23:37.000] For the first couple of paragraphs before this, I saw.
[23:37.000 --> 23:42.000] Cultists just laying in the snow the whole time as the scene was being described.
[23:42.000 --> 23:48.000] And that only changed when it mentioned that he decided to stumble over to the sound for the lake.
[23:48.000 --> 23:51.000] Which at first I was like, does the meeting crawled over?
[23:51.000 --> 23:54.000] Because there was no scene of him getting up just laying down and then stumble.
[23:54.000 --> 23:59.000] So basically what I'm saying is a transition from laying to standing in my opinion would be good.
[24:00.000 --> 24:02.000] So it'd be like slowly stumbling to his feet.
[24:02.000 --> 24:05.000] He was in a light days, but our semen is way to the lakeside.
[24:05.000 --> 24:11.000] Just so it's not just quick like scene cuts with no transition in between.
[24:11.000 --> 24:22.000] I think that might have been like, I mean, again, for extra clarity, yes, but I think that might have been popped up when he's in the first paragraph when he said taking stock of his surroundings.
[24:22.000 --> 24:25.000] He lay in the snow next to his.
[24:25.000 --> 24:29.000] Yeah, I guess. I guess I just kind of I just kind of filled in the blanks that he got up.
[24:29.000 --> 24:34.000] But yeah, I guess you could just you could like add clarity of that like he had gotten up at that at some point during that.
[24:34.000 --> 24:37.000] So yeah, but there was no mention of him getting up.
[24:37.000 --> 24:38.000] So sure.
[24:38.000 --> 24:51.000] It's entirely possible that he crawled to the lake, crawled into the water, got Mike Yoke, crawled all the way to the sugar shack, got headshot and we see running off the door.
[24:52.000 --> 24:55.000] I mean, I have I have like knocked my head against her head.
[24:55.000 --> 24:57.000] It's pretty hard. Yeah, it does.
[25:01.000 --> 25:05.000] Yeah, when I'm trying to snuggle with that dog and I have gotten like, I had like a.
[25:05.000 --> 25:10.000] Like, like a what does it, when you like knock heads with somebody?
[25:10.000 --> 25:14.000] I guess. Yeah, just I have gotten head butted by her. So yeah.
[25:21.000 --> 25:23.000] You can go now, Mikey.
[25:23.000 --> 25:26.000] Yeah, yeah, continue Mikey.
[25:26.000 --> 25:29.000] So the next one.
[25:29.000 --> 25:38.000] A figure was visible huddled on the dock, lying on its side and seemingly clutching its leg.
[25:38.000 --> 25:42.000] Huddled, I don't think is the right word here.
[25:42.000 --> 25:47.000] And it should be laying not lying.
[25:47.000 --> 25:51.000] Yeah, huddled is like when you're playing foosball and you're on.
[25:51.000 --> 25:52.000] Yeah.
[25:52.000 --> 25:54.000] And I actually think it's a whole different thing.
[25:54.000 --> 25:58.000] When you're playing football and everyone together to discuss the play.
[25:58.000 --> 25:59.000] Yeah.
[25:59.000 --> 26:00.000] That is fun.
[26:00.000 --> 26:01.000] Yeah.
[26:01.000 --> 26:08.000] So I rewrote it to a figure was visible, curled up on the dock.
[26:08.000 --> 26:09.000] Yeah.
[26:09.000 --> 26:13.000] On it's like that's fair.
[26:14.000 --> 26:19.000] So.
[26:19.000 --> 26:24.000] I did to do.
[26:24.000 --> 26:26.000] Next one.
[26:26.000 --> 26:30.000] Head raising upon hearing RC's query.
[26:30.000 --> 26:34.000] The figure was familiar.
[26:34.000 --> 26:37.000] So I.
[26:38.000 --> 26:43.000] Didn't like how this was written. So, because it didn't.
[26:43.000 --> 26:46.000] I didn't get the quite.
[26:46.000 --> 26:48.000] Visualizing.
[26:48.000 --> 26:49.000] So.
[26:49.000 --> 26:55.000] I, we wrote to raising its head upon hearing RC's query.
[26:55.000 --> 26:59.000] RC saw a familiar figure.
[26:59.000 --> 27:00.000] Yeah.
[27:01.000 --> 27:04.000] Who knows who the figure was kind of deal. Yeah.
[27:04.000 --> 27:05.000] Yeah.
[27:05.000 --> 27:06.000] Yeah.
[27:06.000 --> 27:10.000] I realized it was. Yes.
[27:10.000 --> 27:12.000] Mm hmm.
[27:12.000 --> 27:16.000] So the next one.
[27:16.000 --> 27:24.000] With vision swimming, RC realized that his attacker was his beloved overweight and
[27:24.000 --> 27:27.000] ancient legal Lucy.
[27:28.000 --> 27:30.000] I just added that.
[27:30.000 --> 27:32.000] No, I just said, sweet Lucy.
[27:32.000 --> 27:34.000] She acts upstairs.
[27:34.000 --> 27:37.000] I can hear her upstairs hacking.
[27:37.000 --> 27:39.000] So I was talking better.
[27:39.000 --> 27:40.000] Yeah.
[27:40.000 --> 27:41.000] Yeah.
[27:41.000 --> 27:43.000] So I just added his.
[27:43.000 --> 27:46.000] So with his vision swimming.
[27:46.000 --> 27:47.000] Yeah.
[27:47.000 --> 27:50.000] I realized that his attacker was his beloved.
[27:50.000 --> 27:54.000] Ancient people.
[27:55.000 --> 28:00.000] I mean, that adds three hiss in that same paragraph.
[28:00.000 --> 28:06.000] It could even I would say even like, like, remove the width and have vision swimming.
[28:06.000 --> 28:10.000] RC realized that his attacker was his beloved beagle.
[28:10.000 --> 28:15.000] Or his beloved overweight and ancient beagle Lucy.
[28:15.000 --> 28:17.000] Okay.
[28:17.000 --> 28:20.000] But yeah.
[28:21.000 --> 28:29.000] All right. And the next one is a little bit of a run on.
[28:29.000 --> 28:33.000] So this being no small feet.
[28:33.000 --> 28:39.000] With the dock being only partly moored and Mikey's injury.
[28:39.000 --> 28:43.000] Together they disembarked the dock.
[28:44.000 --> 28:47.000] And then they were just falling once.
[28:47.000 --> 28:52.000] And slogged through the shallow freezing water on the shore.
[28:52.000 --> 28:53.000] Okay.
[28:53.000 --> 28:55.000] I just have to comment here.
[28:55.000 --> 28:58.000] You, you went ahead with the Lucy bit and then jumped back to the,
[28:58.000 --> 29:00.000] to the, to the dock.
[29:00.000 --> 29:01.000] Yeah.
[29:01.000 --> 29:03.000] My grammar and position is all over the place.
[29:03.000 --> 29:04.000] Wow.
[29:04.000 --> 29:06.000] You.
[29:06.000 --> 29:08.000] Okay.
[29:08.000 --> 29:12.000] I tried to make sure they were in order, but.
[29:13.000 --> 29:14.000] Oops.
[29:14.000 --> 29:15.000] He's happened.
[29:15.000 --> 29:16.000] That's fine.
[29:16.000 --> 29:17.000] Yeah.
[29:17.000 --> 29:19.000] It's a plot holes in your grammar.
[29:19.000 --> 29:23.000] It's fine.
[29:23.000 --> 29:27.000] All right.
[29:27.000 --> 29:32.000] So the next one here.
[29:32.000 --> 29:39.000] In the mounting gloom without any moonlight filtering through cloud cover and thickening
[29:40.000 --> 29:47.000] snowfall, the normally familiar maple forest took on a slightly sinister cast.
[29:47.000 --> 29:48.000] Yeah.
[29:48.000 --> 29:51.000] I don't think cast is the right word there.
[29:51.000 --> 29:53.000] I think you're wrong.
[29:53.000 --> 29:57.000] I think I read over that and didn't even consider.
[29:57.000 --> 30:01.000] It's like casting in a sinister light, like that kind of thing.
[30:01.000 --> 30:03.000] But there is no light.
[30:03.000 --> 30:07.000] No, but it's like it's a sinister tone.
[30:08.000 --> 30:10.000] That's what it's trying to capture with that.
[30:10.000 --> 30:11.000] Yeah.
[30:11.000 --> 30:13.000] Any moonlight filtering through.
[30:13.000 --> 30:14.000] So there was moonlight.
[30:14.000 --> 30:15.000] Yeah.
[30:15.000 --> 30:16.000] So there's moonlight.
[30:16.000 --> 30:18.000] So yeah, that's the sound.
[30:18.000 --> 30:19.000] Any moonlight.
[30:19.000 --> 30:21.000] Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah.
[30:21.000 --> 30:28.000] But I mean, I, I, I think it's still like a valid use of cast, but.
[30:28.000 --> 30:33.000] Yeah.
[30:34.000 --> 30:39.000] Cause light or shadow to appear on a surface.
[30:39.000 --> 30:48.000] So it could be that it's casting shadows on the, on the trees or on the forest.
[30:48.000 --> 30:50.000] Okay.
[30:50.000 --> 30:55.000] But without any moonlight, there is nothing to cast shadows.
[30:55.000 --> 31:02.000] Other than the flaming cottage, but that's not mentioned.
[31:03.000 --> 31:04.000] Okay.
[31:04.000 --> 31:06.000] Well, fair.
[31:06.000 --> 31:10.000] Basically saying like the cloud is more cloud cover.
[31:10.000 --> 31:12.000] And there's more snowfall.
[31:12.000 --> 31:14.000] So there's less light coming through.
[31:14.000 --> 31:16.000] So everything is darker.
[31:16.000 --> 31:18.000] So everything is cast anymore.
[31:18.000 --> 31:19.000] Look.
[31:19.000 --> 31:21.000] Yeah.
[31:21.000 --> 31:25.000] I don't think it means cast as in casting light.
[31:25.000 --> 31:27.000] It's like viewed as.
[31:27.000 --> 31:29.000] Yeah, it's casting a mood or it's like.
[31:30.000 --> 31:32.000] Yeah, it's casting me a mood or it's like.
[31:32.000 --> 31:33.000] Yeah.
[31:33.000 --> 31:35.000] Well, it's it with visual.
[31:35.000 --> 31:36.000] Yeah.
[31:36.000 --> 31:38.000] But I think.
[31:38.000 --> 31:40.000] If you're going to use cast move it.
[31:40.000 --> 31:43.000] So it's not the last word in the sentence.
[31:43.000 --> 31:46.000] Unless you're being purple, the pros.
[31:46.000 --> 31:49.000] And I think that's what's going on here.
[31:49.000 --> 31:54.000] Apparently, Mikey doesn't like the color purple.
[31:54.000 --> 31:56.000] When it's time pro.
[31:56.000 --> 31:57.000] That's fair.
[31:58.000 --> 32:01.000] Yeah, actually that there is actually such a thing as yellow pros.
[32:01.000 --> 32:07.000] It's actually yellow journalism is considered like basically like what TMZ or like.
[32:07.000 --> 32:10.000] Tablets are usually like, or like the pulps.
[32:10.000 --> 32:11.000] Back in the day.
[32:11.000 --> 32:13.000] Nice.
[32:13.000 --> 32:15.000] It was not a compliment.
[32:15.000 --> 32:17.000] It was nice.
[32:17.000 --> 32:18.000] Sure.
[32:18.000 --> 32:20.000] I mean, back then.
[32:20.000 --> 32:23.000] Like I'm not saying, I'm not saying, I'm not saying that.
[32:24.000 --> 32:26.000] I'm not saying like, Oh, that wasn't a comment to you.
[32:26.000 --> 32:33.000] I'm just saying like, yeah, yellow being called a yellow journalist was not a compliment back in the day because it is like.
[32:33.000 --> 32:34.000] Anything is.
[32:34.000 --> 32:35.000] Yeah.
[32:35.000 --> 32:36.000] It's like.
[32:36.000 --> 32:37.000] Yeah.
[32:37.000 --> 32:38.000] It's like.
[32:38.000 --> 32:39.000] Yeah.
[32:39.000 --> 32:40.000] It's like.
[32:40.000 --> 32:41.000] Yeah.
[32:41.000 --> 32:43.000] Anyway,
[32:43.000 --> 32:44.000] you're in cowardice.
[32:44.000 --> 32:45.000] Yes.
[32:45.000 --> 32:46.000] Continue, Mikey.
[32:46.000 --> 32:49.000] Otherwise we're going to be here all day with the grammar.
[32:49.000 --> 32:51.000] So, so the next one.
[32:52.000 --> 32:54.000] Wind was picking up.
[32:54.000 --> 32:59.000] Chilling the pear to the bone and causing the trees to sway and creak.
[32:59.000 --> 33:02.000] I put the in front of wind.
[33:02.000 --> 33:04.000] So the wind was picking up.
[33:04.000 --> 33:06.000] Sure.
[33:06.000 --> 33:09.000] That's necessary, but sure.
[33:09.000 --> 33:10.000] Yeah.
[33:10.000 --> 33:12.000] I mean, I could take it.
[33:12.000 --> 33:14.000] Well, the.
[33:14.000 --> 33:16.000] It goes back to the waves that are.
[33:16.000 --> 33:17.000] Larger than normal.
[33:17.000 --> 33:20.000] So there should already be a fair amount of wind.
[33:20.000 --> 33:21.000] Anyway.
[33:21.000 --> 33:22.000] Next one.
[33:22.000 --> 33:27.000] Each movement and each new sound from the forest caused Mikey to flinch throwing RC off balance as he said.
[33:27.000 --> 33:28.000] Well,
[33:28.000 --> 33:30.000] it goes back to the waves that are larger than normal.
[33:30.000 --> 33:31.000] So there should already be.
[33:31.000 --> 33:32.000] A fair amount of wind.
[33:32.000 --> 33:33.000] Anyway.
[33:33.000 --> 33:34.000] Anyway.
[33:34.000 --> 33:35.000] Next one.
[33:35.000 --> 33:41.000] Each movement and each new sound from the forest caused Mikey to flinch throwing RC off balance as he saw.
[33:41.000 --> 33:42.000] So there's.
[33:42.000 --> 33:44.000] Two ways or two things here.
[33:44.000 --> 33:46.000] So there's.
[33:46.000 --> 33:48.000] Really an extra each.
[33:48.000 --> 33:49.000] So.
[33:49.000 --> 33:51.000] I.
[33:51.000 --> 33:54.000] Have each movement and sound from the forest.
[33:54.000 --> 33:56.000] I mean, I'd still keep the new.
[33:57.000 --> 33:58.000] Like each movement.
[33:58.000 --> 33:59.000] Yeah, you can have the new.
[33:59.000 --> 34:01.000] Yeah, but you don't need that second each.
[34:01.000 --> 34:03.000] I, I'd agree with that.
[34:03.000 --> 34:04.000] So.
[34:04.000 --> 34:05.000] So.
[34:05.000 --> 34:07.000] I have.
[34:07.000 --> 34:09.000] Each movement and sound from the forest.
[34:09.000 --> 34:11.000] I mean, I'd still keep the new.
[34:11.000 --> 34:12.000] Like each movement.
[34:12.000 --> 34:13.000] Yeah.
[34:13.000 --> 34:14.000] Yeah.
[34:14.000 --> 34:16.000] But you don't need that second each.
[34:16.000 --> 34:18.000] I, I'd agree with that.
[34:18.000 --> 34:19.000] So.
[34:27.000 --> 34:28.000] So.
[34:28.000 --> 34:29.000] And.
[34:29.000 --> 34:31.000] And you already did.
[34:31.000 --> 34:33.000] Is this before after the dog attack.
[34:33.000 --> 34:37.000] I don't know.
[34:37.000 --> 34:40.000] I cannot tell you.
[34:40.000 --> 34:42.000] So after what.
[34:43.000 --> 34:45.000] So after what.
[34:45.000 --> 34:47.000] Felt like an eternity.
[34:47.000 --> 34:49.000] The sugar shack came into view.
[34:49.000 --> 34:53.000] It's a parent's adding to the strangeness of the night.
[34:53.000 --> 34:56.000] So I put a comma.
[34:56.000 --> 34:59.000] After eternity.
[34:59.000 --> 35:01.000] And.
[35:01.000 --> 35:04.000] See.
[35:04.000 --> 35:08.000] And it's a parent's.
[35:09.000 --> 35:11.000] And it's a parent's.
[35:11.000 --> 35:14.000] Added to the strangeness of the night.
[35:14.000 --> 35:15.000] So.
[35:15.000 --> 35:16.000] Yeah.
[35:16.000 --> 35:17.000] Yeah.
[35:17.000 --> 35:18.000] Yeah.
[35:18.000 --> 35:19.000] All right.
[35:19.000 --> 35:27.000] Next.
[35:27.000 --> 35:31.000] The doors were closed, but the lights were on.
[35:32.000 --> 35:36.000] The steam was wafting from the cupola on the roof.
[35:36.000 --> 35:37.000] Yeah.
[35:37.000 --> 35:40.000] I don't think cupola is the right word.
[35:40.000 --> 35:42.000] I mean, makes more sense.
[35:42.000 --> 35:43.000] Yeah.
[35:43.000 --> 35:45.000] I had to go look at a couple of these.
[35:45.000 --> 35:47.000] It's a word I've never heard before.
[35:47.000 --> 35:49.000] But I looked it up.
[35:49.000 --> 35:51.000] And it's literally just.
[35:51.000 --> 35:53.000] The race section of the roof.
[35:53.000 --> 35:54.000] Oh.
[35:54.000 --> 35:55.000] There are some sugar shacks.
[35:55.000 --> 35:56.000] Like I literally looked up.
[35:57.000 --> 35:58.000] Sugar shack cook.
[35:58.000 --> 35:59.000] And there are some that have it.
[35:59.000 --> 36:01.000] It's just like the little race section.
[36:01.000 --> 36:02.000] Yeah.
[36:02.000 --> 36:03.000] The windows in it.
[36:03.000 --> 36:04.000] Yeah.
[36:04.000 --> 36:05.000] It's or in.
[36:05.000 --> 36:06.000] I guess.
[36:06.000 --> 36:07.000] Probably have you.
[36:07.000 --> 36:08.000] Yeah.
[36:08.000 --> 36:09.000] And that makes sense for a sugar shack.
[36:09.000 --> 36:10.000] Cause usually they.
[36:10.000 --> 36:11.000] Cause.
[36:11.000 --> 36:13.000] Maple syruping is an evaporation.
[36:13.000 --> 36:14.000] Procedure.
[36:14.000 --> 36:15.000] So.
[36:15.000 --> 36:17.000] They need somewhere for that steam to go.
[36:17.000 --> 36:18.000] So yeah.
[36:18.000 --> 36:19.000] It makes a form of chimney.
[36:19.000 --> 36:21.000] It's just not a traditional chimney.
[36:22.000 --> 36:23.000] Yeah.
[36:23.000 --> 36:24.000] I didn't know what that meant.
[36:24.000 --> 36:27.000] I assumed it meant like some kind of venting chimney thing.
[36:27.000 --> 36:29.000] So I just, I didn't even bother looking it up until just now.
[36:29.000 --> 36:30.000] So.
[36:30.000 --> 36:33.000] Well, when I looked up just your cup.
[36:33.000 --> 36:34.000] I saw the dome.
[36:34.000 --> 36:35.000] Yeah.
[36:35.000 --> 36:36.000] Of a roof.
[36:36.000 --> 36:38.000] And that is the first thing you see on the roof.
[36:38.000 --> 36:40.000] And that is the first thing you see on the roof.
[36:40.000 --> 36:41.000] Yeah.
[36:41.000 --> 36:43.000] And that is the first thing you see on the roof.
[36:43.000 --> 36:44.000] So.
[36:45.000 --> 36:47.000] Oh, there we go.
[36:47.000 --> 36:48.000] Yeah.
[36:48.000 --> 36:50.000] It literally just means any sort of like.
[36:50.000 --> 36:52.000] Don't miss thing on the top.
[36:52.000 --> 36:55.000] It could be the entire thing or could just be.
[36:55.000 --> 36:57.000] A little section of the roof.
[36:57.000 --> 36:59.000] It doesn't even have to be a don't miss.
[36:59.000 --> 37:00.000] It's just like a little.
[37:00.000 --> 37:01.000] Extra bit.
[37:01.000 --> 37:02.000] Yeah.
[37:02.000 --> 37:03.000] Yeah.
[37:03.000 --> 37:04.000] Yeah.
[37:04.000 --> 37:05.000] Yeah.
[37:05.000 --> 37:06.000] Yeah.
[37:06.000 --> 37:07.000] Yeah.
[37:07.000 --> 37:08.000] Yeah.
[37:08.000 --> 37:09.000] Yeah.
[37:09.000 --> 37:10.000] Yeah.
[37:10.000 --> 37:11.000] Yeah.
[37:11.000 --> 37:12.000] Yeah.
[37:15.000 --> 37:16.000] Yeah.
[37:16.000 --> 37:17.000] Yeah.
[37:17.000 --> 37:18.000] Looking at a sugar, a sugar shaxi.
[37:18.000 --> 37:19.000] It makes more sense.
[37:19.000 --> 37:20.000] Like what it is now.
[37:20.000 --> 37:21.000] Yeah.
[37:21.000 --> 37:22.000] Okay.
[37:22.000 --> 37:23.000] Yep.
[37:23.000 --> 37:25.000] All right.
[37:25.000 --> 37:27.000] Basically, that definition was context.
[37:27.000 --> 37:28.000] Yeah.
[37:28.000 --> 37:32.000] All the things in Congress bad per day.
[37:32.000 --> 37:33.000] Mm hmm.
[37:33.000 --> 37:35.000] Where I learned on text.
[37:35.000 --> 37:39.000] Oh, you are the gamer in yellow.
[37:39.000 --> 37:41.000] All right.
[37:42.000 --> 37:43.000] All right.
[37:43.000 --> 37:47.000] So the next one here.
[37:47.000 --> 37:56.000] Someone had clearly been here today and was processing the sap into syrup for bottling.
[37:56.000 --> 37:59.000] Honestly, it's an unneeded.
[37:59.000 --> 38:01.000] So.
[38:01.000 --> 38:06.000] And someone was processing sap into syrup for bottling.
[38:06.000 --> 38:08.000] Yeah.
[38:08.000 --> 38:10.000] I'd take it or leave it.
[38:11.000 --> 38:12.000] Yeah.
[38:12.000 --> 38:13.000] Yeah.
[38:13.000 --> 38:15.000] Yeah, there's no harm.
[38:15.000 --> 38:16.000] Yeah.
[38:16.000 --> 38:17.000] It was fine.
[38:17.000 --> 38:18.000] Yeah.
[38:18.000 --> 38:21.000] All right.
[38:21.000 --> 38:23.000] The next one.
[38:23.000 --> 38:27.000] Mikey helped RC to his feet.
[38:27.000 --> 38:31.000] Almost falling over himself with the effort.
[38:31.000 --> 38:37.000] And the three made their way into the sugar shack and closed the door.
[38:38.000 --> 38:41.000] This is again, after your previous.
[38:41.000 --> 38:43.000] Switch a roof.
[38:43.000 --> 38:46.000] Where you, you dashed my dream is like, Oh, man, he skipped a bowl, but she's tough.
[38:46.000 --> 38:48.000] No, please go back.
[38:48.000 --> 38:51.000] So you realize.
[38:51.000 --> 38:54.000] Please continue.
[38:54.000 --> 38:55.000] So please continue.
[38:55.000 --> 39:03.000] The issue with this one is that sugar shack is capitalized and it's the only time in the story it's capitalized.
[39:03.000 --> 39:05.000] Yeah, I guess.
[39:05.000 --> 39:06.000] Yeah.
[39:06.000 --> 39:10.000] But if he calls it the sugar shack, then it's technically a name to it.
[39:10.000 --> 39:11.000] Yeah.
[39:11.000 --> 39:12.000] Yeah.
[39:12.000 --> 39:17.000] But you should maintain capitalization of what you're calling it.
[39:17.000 --> 39:18.000] Yes.
[39:18.000 --> 39:19.000] Throughout the story.
[39:19.000 --> 39:20.000] Yeah.
[39:20.000 --> 39:25.000] All right.
[39:25.000 --> 39:29.000] All right.
[39:29.000 --> 39:32.000] Next one.
[39:33.000 --> 39:36.000] See, check his phone.
[39:36.000 --> 39:45.000] Seeing he had no signal while Mikey leaned into recounting the events that led to the current situation.
[39:45.000 --> 39:51.000] I didn't think leaned really worked there.
[39:51.000 --> 39:56.000] I found that strange too, but I didn't think about what to put there instead.
[39:57.000 --> 40:00.000] I also like hiccup, not hiccup, but like I noticed that.
[40:00.000 --> 40:04.000] And I just kind of like, I just kind of like left it and like, like let it go.
[40:04.000 --> 40:05.000] Yeah.
[40:05.000 --> 40:06.000] We are doing grammar here.
[40:06.000 --> 40:10.000] So that should be important probably if all of us are like eh.
[40:10.000 --> 40:11.000] Yeah.
[40:11.000 --> 40:19.000] Well, I rewrote it to while Mikey started to recount the events that led to the current situation.
[40:19.000 --> 40:21.000] Yeah.
[40:21.000 --> 40:24.000] Yeah, fair.
[40:25.000 --> 40:26.000] All right.
[40:26.000 --> 40:29.000] And then we got to run on.
[40:29.000 --> 40:33.000] Or one that seemed pretty long anyway.
[40:33.000 --> 40:36.000] It was basically how he remembered it.
[40:36.000 --> 40:45.000] But with some syrup in the final stages of prep before bottling with a bottle underneath the fill spigot.
[40:45.000 --> 40:47.000] That's all one.
[40:47.000 --> 40:51.000] That's all one sentence.
[40:52.000 --> 40:53.000] Yeah.
[40:53.000 --> 40:55.000] It should be broken up a bit.
[40:55.000 --> 40:59.000] I did don't actually have a note on what it should be broken up into.
[40:59.000 --> 41:00.000] I'm sorry.
[41:00.000 --> 41:06.000] But I was like, I'm remembering how it was basically period and then describing how it is now.
[41:06.000 --> 41:07.000] Yeah.
[41:07.000 --> 41:09.000] I didn't put like a semicolon after remembered it.
[41:09.000 --> 41:14.000] Just got like show that like he's like like like this is how he like this is.
[41:14.000 --> 41:18.000] How he remembered it and then like go into it.
[41:19.000 --> 41:23.000] Oh, it was like, but, but with the syrup. Yeah, not in mind.
[41:23.000 --> 41:27.000] Maybe like it was basically how he remembered it.
[41:27.000 --> 41:29.000] Period.
[41:29.000 --> 41:35.000] However, with their, there was some syrup in the final stages of prep.
[41:35.000 --> 41:41.000] Or that said, there was some syrup in the final stages of prep and blah, blah, blah.
[41:41.000 --> 41:44.000] Yeah.
[41:44.000 --> 41:47.000] All right.
[41:47.000 --> 41:51.000] So the next one here, I'm getting close to the end here.
[41:51.000 --> 41:52.000] Are we?
[41:52.000 --> 41:56.000] Are you sure?
[41:56.000 --> 41:59.000] Yeah.
[41:59.000 --> 42:03.000] Wake up.
[42:03.000 --> 42:07.000] It's getting late.
[42:07.000 --> 42:13.000] We were just.
[42:14.000 --> 42:18.000] I was like, I literally like bit my, my fist.
[42:18.000 --> 42:20.000] I was right there.
[42:20.000 --> 42:21.000] I love time.
[42:21.000 --> 42:27.000] If I brought my fist up that fast, if I would have pushed myself in the mouth.
[42:27.000 --> 42:28.000] Okay.
[42:28.000 --> 42:29.000] Please continue.
[42:29.000 --> 42:30.000] Yeah.
[42:30.000 --> 42:32.000] So wake up.
[42:32.000 --> 42:33.000] It's getting late.
[42:33.000 --> 42:35.000] Mikey is about wrong.
[42:35.000 --> 42:39.000] I have a bit for that for my actual thoughts, but yeah, you're right.
[42:39.000 --> 42:40.000] Yeah.
[42:41.000 --> 42:50.000] The next one, which is later stumbling to his feet and quickly getting ready to leave.
[42:50.000 --> 42:57.000] RC started walking out of the house towards a familiar gray SUV, which held his friend Mikey and also
[42:57.000 --> 43:03.000] spelt wrong in which my note here is, unless this is.
[43:04.000 --> 43:08.000] Spelt this way because it's different in the waking world.
[43:08.000 --> 43:09.000] Done.
[43:09.000 --> 43:13.000] Are we a dream?
[43:13.000 --> 43:14.000] No, hang on.
[43:14.000 --> 43:17.000] Does ADR actually stand for a dream reality?
[43:17.000 --> 43:23.000] I actually, I actually have something to do with demonology about this also.
[43:23.000 --> 43:27.000] Do you want me to bring it up now or like, should I save it till.
[43:27.000 --> 43:28.000] Okay.
[43:29.000 --> 43:33.000] So here's my thought about this about like the fact that Mikey is spelled wrong.
[43:33.000 --> 43:38.000] So this actually popped in as an idea at when I read that like, Oh, Mikey's name is spelled wrong.
[43:38.000 --> 43:39.000] Mikey.
[43:39.000 --> 43:44.000] So M I K dot E is how we've always like said it and spelled it.
[43:44.000 --> 43:50.000] Is spelled Mikey M I K E Y in at the end of this story, what in the waking world.
[43:50.000 --> 43:52.000] Like how you would refer to an injured turtle.
[43:52.000 --> 43:53.000] Yeah.
[43:53.000 --> 43:57.000] And that's how we, and I can understand like if somebody doesn't like, I mean, the most of the story, like,
[43:57.000 --> 44:03.000] the person obviously knew what Mikey's spelling was based on, like our title cards and stuff like that.
[44:03.000 --> 44:06.000] And, and our descriptions and the show notes and stuff.
[44:06.000 --> 44:13.000] So, but the idea that popped in my head when I read this part was does.
[44:13.000 --> 44:23.000] So does Mikey, our favorite cosmic demon use a more human normal name like this in reality?
[44:23.000 --> 44:28.000] Or are we just using his true name every time we converse?
[44:28.000 --> 44:31.000] Does that mean we have more power over him?
[44:31.000 --> 44:39.000] Is that how we're able to summon slash bind him and subject him to creepy pasta after crappy pasta every week.
[44:39.000 --> 44:46.000] According to demonology might as demonology might suggest.
[44:46.000 --> 44:47.000] Yes, exactly.
[44:48.000 --> 44:56.000] And this also prompted a gameable idea where it's like, that might actually be an interesting fun little like scenario to throw into like unknown armies.
[44:56.000 --> 45:01.000] Some podcasters summon and bind a demon for their podcast show.
[45:01.000 --> 45:03.000] And he has to do it.
[45:03.000 --> 45:09.000] Yeah, he is contractually obligated because they found out his his true name.
[45:10.000 --> 45:15.000] When you learn the true name of a supernatural being usually a demon or Fay.
[45:15.000 --> 45:18.000] You have power over them. So.
[45:18.000 --> 45:20.000] I feel like that could absolutely be in like shadow.
[45:20.000 --> 45:21.000] Oh, yeah.
[45:21.000 --> 45:22.000] 100% else.
[45:22.000 --> 45:24.000] Sorry, Mikey.
[45:27.000 --> 45:29.000] But yeah, like I noticed that as well.
[45:29.000 --> 45:31.000] I was like, is this like.
[45:31.000 --> 45:32.000] It does.
[45:32.000 --> 45:35.000] Yeah, it made me wonder because like, I mean.
[45:36.000 --> 45:47.000] I know the the person who wrote this has seen our title cards knows what Mikey looks like, but like they purposely gave a human form to Mikey it seems here.
[45:47.000 --> 45:53.000] And it's like, is this what Mikey looks like to the rest of us or to like the rest of like everybody else he actually looks human.
[45:53.000 --> 46:00.000] Not like the star demon.
[46:01.000 --> 46:04.000] Yeah, it was an interesting way it popped in the like that.
[46:04.000 --> 46:07.000] This potential like error or just this like this weird.
[46:07.000 --> 46:12.000] Like change of the name, but like similar name, like kind of brought up this like ideas like.
[46:12.000 --> 46:17.000] I've perhaps expanding the mythos of El dente Rick mortis.
[46:17.000 --> 46:19.000] He was done intentionally, by the way.
[46:19.000 --> 46:21.000] Oh, I'm sure it was. Yeah. Yeah.
[46:21.000 --> 46:23.000] Like originally I thought it was.
[46:23.000 --> 46:28.000] But yeah, yeah, it's right after he after a review called this wakes up from the dream.
[46:28.000 --> 46:31.000] So it's like, and it's his dad that says his name like that.
[46:31.000 --> 46:36.000] It was like, okay, so maybe the dad doesn't see like doesn't know that he's a demon.
[46:36.000 --> 46:37.000] Catholic.
[46:37.000 --> 46:38.000] Yeah.
[46:38.000 --> 46:40.000] So.
[46:40.000 --> 46:45.000] Grammar in position or actual thought you decide audience.
[46:45.000 --> 46:47.000] As I walk away.
[46:47.000 --> 46:52.000] All right.
[46:52.000 --> 46:55.000] And now it's time for conjunction junction.
[46:55.000 --> 46:59.000] Oh my God.
[46:59.000 --> 47:01.000] Okay.
[47:01.000 --> 47:04.000] And next stop conjunction junction.
[47:04.000 --> 47:08.000] It was Mikey.
[47:08.000 --> 47:11.000] It's in the trees.
[47:11.000 --> 47:13.000] But he was wrong.
[47:13.000 --> 47:17.000] The cottage was no longer an option.
[47:17.000 --> 47:20.000] It was basically how he remembered it.
[47:20.000 --> 47:30.000] But with some syrup in the final stages of prep before bottling with a bottle underneath the fill spigot.
[47:30.000 --> 47:33.000] It's not for you.
[47:33.000 --> 47:36.000] It's getting late.
[47:36.000 --> 47:43.000] Then I would like to point out that some of that was dialogue and how dare you.
[47:43.000 --> 47:45.000] Yeah.
[47:46.000 --> 47:48.000] No, you've already gone this.
[47:48.000 --> 47:49.000] Let's get this.
[47:49.000 --> 47:50.000] Yeah.
[47:50.000 --> 47:54.000] That went because like it starts saying like it's Mikey.
[47:54.000 --> 47:56.000] And then it's saying like it's in the tree.
[47:56.000 --> 47:57.000] So Mikey is in the trees.
[47:57.000 --> 47:58.000] Yeah.
[47:58.000 --> 48:02.000] It's like the cottage is no longer an option because the cottage is in the trees.
[48:02.000 --> 48:04.000] Oh, no.
[48:04.000 --> 48:06.000] Yeah.
[48:06.000 --> 48:09.000] We got some.
[48:09.000 --> 48:10.000] That's canon.
[48:10.000 --> 48:12.000] Mikey now lives in a tree house.
[48:13.000 --> 48:15.000] Yeah.
[48:15.000 --> 48:16.000] He's got a battle.
[48:16.000 --> 48:18.000] The cottage is the tree house now.
[48:18.000 --> 48:19.000] Oh, yeah.
[48:19.000 --> 48:20.000] Yeah.
[48:20.000 --> 48:23.000] And he has to battle score a squirrels that come at him at full force.
[48:23.000 --> 48:27.000] I want to run that scenario.
[48:27.000 --> 48:28.000] Yeah.
[48:28.000 --> 48:29.000] Or write that story.
[48:29.000 --> 48:33.000] Mikey versus the demon squirrels.
[48:33.000 --> 48:35.000] The Christmas critters.
[48:35.000 --> 48:37.000] Yeah.
[48:38.000 --> 48:40.000] Yeah.
[48:40.000 --> 48:41.000] But yes.
[48:41.000 --> 48:42.000] Well, it's unaware.
[48:42.000 --> 48:49.000] Like you grab sentences throughout the story that were start with words that they probably should like it's answer butts because it was better words to you.
[48:49.000 --> 48:51.000] Even if it's dialogue.
[48:51.000 --> 48:52.000] Yes.
[48:52.000 --> 48:53.000] Gamer.
[48:53.000 --> 48:55.000] What do you have for grammar in yellow?
[48:55.000 --> 48:57.000] Not a lot, honestly.
[48:57.000 --> 49:00.000] Not because you hope not.
[49:00.000 --> 49:01.000] Yeah.
[49:01.000 --> 49:02.000] All right.
[49:03.000 --> 49:05.000] The story of sentence one.
[49:05.000 --> 49:06.000] No.
[49:06.000 --> 49:08.000] Actually, you know what?
[49:08.000 --> 49:10.000] Three four sentence one.
[49:10.000 --> 49:13.000] The paragraph or the title.
[49:13.000 --> 49:15.000] No, before the title.
[49:15.000 --> 49:17.000] The link in the.
[49:17.000 --> 49:23.000] In the freaking email you gave me noticing it's a download and my suspicion started rising.
[49:23.000 --> 49:25.000] It's basically just that.
[49:25.000 --> 49:26.000] Okay.
[49:26.000 --> 49:27.000] Sure.
[49:27.000 --> 49:30.000] Because then is there a Sarah in the story?
[49:31.000 --> 49:32.000] I think not.
[49:32.000 --> 49:33.000] That's true.
[49:33.000 --> 49:35.000] Well, maybe not.
[49:35.000 --> 49:37.000] But there is a capital S.
[49:37.000 --> 49:41.000] Followed eventually by the lowercase a and then a lowercase are.
[49:41.000 --> 49:45.000] And then every parent in the first age.
[49:45.000 --> 49:50.000] The first six paragraphs all start with a capital S A R A H.
[49:50.000 --> 49:51.000] That's fine.
[49:51.000 --> 49:53.000] That would be five paragraphs.
[49:53.000 --> 49:55.000] That would be awesome.
[49:55.000 --> 49:57.000] That would be hilarious.
[49:58.000 --> 49:59.000] Yeah.
[49:59.000 --> 50:05.000] I'm so sure I will always be suspicious if you're giving me a random download link.
[50:05.000 --> 50:08.000] Because you know tough but fair.
[50:08.000 --> 50:09.000] Yeah.
[50:09.000 --> 50:10.000] Yeah.
[50:10.000 --> 50:11.000] Burn me once shame on you.
[50:11.000 --> 50:12.000] Burn me twice.
[50:12.000 --> 50:13.000] Fuck you review.
[50:13.000 --> 50:18.000] But yeah, I get on reading a bit.
[50:18.000 --> 50:22.000] And it's like a great SUV lays on sighted and drive away leading up to the house.
[50:23.000 --> 50:32.000] And then I'm like, I know for a fact that there ain't any cars at the review.
[50:32.000 --> 50:34.000] I mean, is out of season.
[50:34.000 --> 50:36.000] So they're kind of been driving over the lake.
[50:36.000 --> 50:37.000] It's also.
[50:37.000 --> 50:38.000] Yeah.
[50:38.000 --> 50:39.000] Yeah.
[50:39.000 --> 50:41.000] I mean, review like this.
[50:41.000 --> 50:43.000] This is a fiction.
[50:43.000 --> 50:44.000] Yes.
[50:44.000 --> 50:48.000] It could be also actually cars have been on the.
[50:49.000 --> 50:50.000] I have been on the island before.
[50:50.000 --> 50:51.000] Oh my God.
[50:51.000 --> 50:52.000] How?
[50:52.000 --> 50:53.000] Where do they drive?
[50:53.000 --> 50:54.000] The barge.
[50:54.000 --> 50:55.000] Like take some across.
[50:55.000 --> 50:56.000] Yeah.
[50:56.000 --> 50:57.000] But where do they drive when they get there?
[50:57.000 --> 51:01.000] There's like the back path is actually considered a road in in in the town where we're in.
[51:01.000 --> 51:02.000] Yeah.
[51:02.000 --> 51:03.000] Yeah.
[51:03.000 --> 51:04.000] It's white.
[51:04.000 --> 51:05.000] We're like small.
[51:05.000 --> 51:06.000] No, no.
[51:06.000 --> 51:07.000] It's actually tall enough.
[51:07.000 --> 51:08.000] Fuck.
[51:08.000 --> 51:13.000] It's tall enough to hold a like massive construction trucks for like for building cottages and stuff.
[51:13.000 --> 51:15.000] So yeah, it's a designated road.
[51:15.000 --> 51:17.000] Fair enough then I guess.
[51:17.000 --> 51:22.280] But anyway, yeah, I get on reading a little bit more and that it says waves not common
[51:22.280 --> 51:27.000] unless made by the wake of a passing boat were laughing at the shore.
[51:27.000 --> 51:31.000] So before that, I was like, okay, it's winter because it's out of season and it references
[51:31.000 --> 51:32.000] snow.
[51:32.000 --> 51:35.000] There's cars there because it's frozen.
[51:35.000 --> 51:38.000] You can drive over and that starts mentioning waves.
[51:38.000 --> 51:39.000] I'm like, I'll pass.
[51:39.000 --> 51:40.000] So it's spring then.
[51:40.000 --> 51:41.000] Yeah.
[51:41.000 --> 51:42.000] I smelled it.
[51:42.000 --> 51:44.000] But there's still a light amount of snow on the ground.
[51:44.000 --> 51:45.000] Okay.
[51:45.000 --> 51:46.000] Fine.
[51:46.000 --> 51:48.000] So starting to suspect you didn't write this.
[51:48.000 --> 51:49.000] Set this point.
[51:49.000 --> 51:50.000] What?
[51:50.000 --> 51:51.000] Yeah.
[51:51.000 --> 51:59.000] But then we'll move on to me.
[51:59.000 --> 52:01.000] Beginning to read the story.
[52:01.000 --> 52:03.000] So for sentence, starting off a media res hell.
[52:03.000 --> 52:04.000] Yeah.
[52:04.000 --> 52:05.000] Love it.
[52:05.000 --> 52:06.000] Hate it.
[52:06.000 --> 52:08.000] That being said, the story handles media res quite well here.
[52:08.000 --> 52:09.000] Yeah.
[52:09.000 --> 52:11.000] It doesn't take too long to get to the info that we need.
[52:11.000 --> 52:12.000] So it honestly did not.
[52:13.000 --> 52:14.000] Yeah.
[52:14.000 --> 52:15.000] And it's, it's an intro.
[52:15.000 --> 52:17.000] Like again, like it also explains why it's immediate res.
[52:17.000 --> 52:18.000] Like he wakes up from a concussion.
[52:18.000 --> 52:19.000] Yeah.
[52:19.000 --> 52:20.000] Yeah.
[52:20.000 --> 52:21.000] So like, yeah.
[52:21.000 --> 52:25.000] And he immediately like scopes out is in the situation and we get that kind of scoping out.
[52:25.000 --> 52:27.000] So you get the information you need.
[52:27.000 --> 52:28.000] So yeah.
[52:28.000 --> 52:37.000] And then, um, says this was not the normal season to be at the cottage and even aside from
[52:37.000 --> 52:39.000] the flames, things seem wrong.
[52:39.000 --> 52:41.000] I feel like a break in the middle would help.
[52:41.000 --> 52:46.000] Cause the way I read it is this was not the normal season to be at the cottage and even.
[52:46.000 --> 52:52.000] Aside from the flames, like cottage and even it was too quick and needs a break there,
[52:52.000 --> 52:53.000] in my opinion.
[52:53.000 --> 52:55.000] So it'd be, this is not the normal season to be at the cottage.
[52:55.000 --> 52:58.000] And even aside from the flames, things seem wrong.
[52:58.000 --> 52:59.000] Yeah.
[52:59.000 --> 53:03.000] Then we skip along towards the end.
[53:03.000 --> 53:09.000] The bottle was red glass with a race symbol on one side of a forking tree branch surrounded
[53:09.000 --> 53:10.000] by an oval.
[53:10.000 --> 53:11.000] Yes.
[53:11.000 --> 53:12.000] That's how I read it.
[53:12.000 --> 53:18.000] And I had to reread it multiple times to overcome that stumble that I had.
[53:18.000 --> 53:25.000] Basically the addition of the symbols in the location, like in the middle of it for me for
[53:25.000 --> 53:26.000] a loop.
[53:26.000 --> 53:28.000] I feel like it would flow better if it goes.
[53:28.000 --> 53:33.000] The bottle was red glass and on one side, there was a race symbol of a forking tree branch
[53:33.000 --> 53:34.000] surrounded by an oval.
[53:34.000 --> 53:35.000] Yeah.
[53:35.000 --> 53:39.000] Instead of with a race symbol on one side of a forking tree branch.
[53:39.000 --> 53:43.000] Cause it sounds like there's a forking tree branch.
[53:43.000 --> 53:46.000] And on the side of a forking tree branch, there's a race symbol.
[53:46.000 --> 53:47.000] Yeah.
[53:47.000 --> 53:48.000] That's true.
[53:48.000 --> 53:49.000] Yeah.
[53:49.000 --> 53:50.000] Yeah.
[53:50.000 --> 53:54.000] But that's about it.
[53:54.000 --> 53:55.000] Okay.
[53:55.000 --> 53:58.000] Well, let's, let's go to actual thoughts.
[53:58.000 --> 54:02.000] Now that we've escaped the grammar acquisition.
[54:02.000 --> 54:05.840] I did actually read my first two actual notes, as well.
[54:05.840 --> 54:08.800] I was told that one second, they need to color code these differently.
[54:08.800 --> 54:10.800] When they're all yellow, it's hard to know.
[54:10.800 --> 54:12.000] Yeah, true.
[54:12.000 --> 54:15.000] Well, you only use yellow, like, memo paper.
[54:15.000 --> 54:19.200] So, yeah, on to actual thoughts.
[54:19.200 --> 54:20.800] I'm going to start with this one here.
[54:20.800 --> 54:24.600] A gray SUV, layout side, and the driveway, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[54:24.600 --> 54:25.100] Yes.
[54:25.100 --> 54:30.800] So, listen, this might be an epic, personally.
[54:31.200 --> 54:34.800] But the SUV should have been green instead of gray.
[54:34.800 --> 54:38.800] I know that the writer couldn't really know that, necessarily,
[54:38.800 --> 54:42.800] though I have drawn the cultist's vehicle.
[54:42.800 --> 54:43.800] Use it.
[54:43.800 --> 54:45.800] Yeah, it's actually been in a couple of our title cards.
[54:45.800 --> 54:50.800] Usually when I've got, if you go back to the episode on YouTube
[54:50.800 --> 54:53.800] where it's the Islas Jack episode, I can't remember which one, future me,
[54:53.800 --> 54:54.800] put in the number now.
[54:54.800 --> 54:55.800] Boop.
[54:55.800 --> 54:58.800] It's episode 50 of Elden Taborigamordis.
[54:58.800 --> 55:01.800] Jesus Christ, that was years ago.
[55:01.800 --> 55:02.800] Boop.
[55:02.800 --> 55:07.800] Usually the SUV, and usually it is an SUV.
[55:07.800 --> 55:11.800] So, and I have specifically made it green.
[55:11.800 --> 55:16.800] And I think, I mean, not to dox my fictional self, but the license plate
[55:16.800 --> 55:18.800] is our cult.
[55:18.800 --> 55:20.800] Of course.
[55:20.800 --> 55:21.800] Yeah.
[55:21.800 --> 55:22.800] Yeah.
[55:22.800 --> 55:25.800] So, like, yeah, the gray SUV, like when I first read that, I was like,
[55:25.800 --> 55:26.800] um, excuse me.
[55:26.800 --> 55:28.800] That's actually, that needs to be fixed.
[55:28.800 --> 55:29.800] Okay.
[55:29.800 --> 55:30.800] Well, yeah.
[55:30.800 --> 55:34.800] But wait to, uh, out our fan is not a super fan.
[55:34.800 --> 55:39.800] I feel bad now about that.
[55:39.800 --> 55:42.800] Thank you, Mikey, that you pointed that out because he is probably
[55:42.800 --> 55:46.800] one of the one of our biggest super fans, honestly.
[55:46.800 --> 55:47.800] Yeah.
[55:47.800 --> 55:51.800] And now I can just envision him crying, like, Oh, crap, I got that
[55:51.800 --> 55:52.800] wrong.
[55:53.800 --> 55:55.800] No, he's probably just like.
[55:56.800 --> 55:59.800] It's like, he's probably just like looking at like on and just like
[55:59.800 --> 56:00.800] smiling.
[56:01.800 --> 56:03.800] Waiting for his time.
[56:03.800 --> 56:04.800] Yeah.
[56:05.800 --> 56:07.800] But I'll continue with it.
[56:07.800 --> 56:10.800] It's a simple, and it's just a simple correction.
[56:10.800 --> 56:11.800] Just needs to be from greater green.
[56:11.800 --> 56:12.800] And you know what?
[56:12.800 --> 56:13.800] Who knows?
[56:13.800 --> 56:14.800] Maybe that's not even the cultist's car.
[56:14.800 --> 56:16.800] Maybe the gray SUV is Mikey's car.
[56:17.800 --> 56:19.800] Oh, he wasn't at the end.
[56:19.800 --> 56:20.800] Yeah. And he was.
[56:20.800 --> 56:22.800] And the passenger side.
[56:22.800 --> 56:23.800] Shut up.
[56:23.800 --> 56:24.800] I'm curious.
[56:24.800 --> 56:25.800] I'm letting him drive your vehicle.
[56:25.800 --> 56:28.800] Or maybe it's maybe it's it's maybe it's father.
[56:28.800 --> 56:31.800] Father cultists car.
[56:31.800 --> 56:33.800] Maybe.
[56:33.800 --> 56:34.800] Yeah.
[56:34.800 --> 56:38.800] Who's really pissed off that Mikey's
[56:38.800 --> 56:42.800] passenger seat like to get right down here.
[56:42.800 --> 56:48.800] Anyway, I'll move on to the next thing I have.
[56:49.800 --> 56:51.800] I'm not a great guy.
[56:51.800 --> 56:52.800] I'm not.
[56:52.800 --> 56:53.800] I'm a fan of the race.
[56:53.800 --> 56:54.800] I'm not a fan of the race.
[56:54.800 --> 56:56.800] I'm a fan of the race.
[56:56.800 --> 56:57.800] I'm a fan of the race.
[56:57.800 --> 56:59.800] Sorry I'm not a fan of the race.
[56:59.800 --> 57:00.800] R.C.
[57:00.800 --> 57:03.800] checked his phone with seeing he had no signal while Mikey
[57:03.800 --> 57:06.800] leaned into recounting the events that led to the current
[57:06.800 --> 57:07.800] situation.
[57:07.800 --> 57:09.800] There's something big in the woods, whatever.
[57:09.800 --> 57:11.800] Is moves quickly and sounds like thunder.
[57:11.800 --> 57:14.800] I saw it take and then in like what kind of like what brackets
[57:14.800 --> 57:20.560] in square brackets, the gamer in yellow, but without the W because it's so long and bracket
[57:21.600 --> 57:29.280] without really seeing what exactly it was. So, honestly, the phone signal issue tracks.
[57:30.640 --> 57:39.440] Even if it's in the story, it's technically a dream, the actual cottage has lousy reception
[57:39.840 --> 57:46.800] for cell phones. So, like, yeah, that was an accidental nailing of an actual thing that happens.
[57:48.800 --> 57:55.600] Also, I do feel like Mike E should have gotten his full title, The East End's for Evil,
[57:55.600 --> 58:01.280] when the gamer got our silly bit for it for when we reference his Twitter handle.
[58:03.440 --> 58:06.720] That's referenced once Mike E's referenced multiple times.
[58:06.720 --> 58:13.840] I know, but they could set the first time and then like, yeah. And unless gamer in yellow
[58:13.840 --> 58:21.440] without the W because the name is very long is has been gamer in yellow's name the whole time.
[58:21.440 --> 58:25.440] And we've just never realized it. Gamer cared comment.
[58:27.920 --> 58:30.160] Do you actually have a W at the end of your name or not?
[58:31.120 --> 58:33.280] That's for me to know and for you to never know.
[58:34.080 --> 58:38.560] Okay, for enough. Because if you know that you have power over me, that's true.
[58:40.240 --> 58:44.640] So, the ambiguity is what you say. Yeah, exactly. Nice.
[58:46.560 --> 58:51.280] All right, moving on to the next thing I have here. Also, I just because I have a note on this as well,
[58:51.280 --> 59:00.640] I do like that in story, Mike E references that my name that way. I feel like in this situation,
[59:00.640 --> 59:04.720] that's how it would happen. I just hide the fear, right?
[59:04.720 --> 59:09.200] Yeah, that's true. Yeah. It's a it's a common defense mechanism when dealing with fear
[59:10.160 --> 59:14.320] is like comedy or quip. So it's like, I saw it take the gamer in yellow without the W at the
[59:14.320 --> 59:22.560] end because it's so long. Yeah, fair enough. Yeah. But I'll move on to the next thing here.
[59:24.160 --> 59:29.200] Mikey's light fell upon a hideous sight of one of the maple trees moving.
[59:29.200 --> 59:35.040] As the light played across the trunk, it revealed that what looked like what looked like a face,
[59:35.040 --> 59:43.760] not a human face, but like what you saw. But like what you see on evil trees in popular fiction
[59:43.760 --> 59:49.840] with slitted eyes and jagged mouths splitting in the bark. Okay, so yeah, my one grammar inquisition
[59:50.800 --> 59:58.880] is it should say not a human face, but like what you see, not like what you saw on evil trees
[59:58.880 --> 01:00:05.120] and blow up. But the an idea here, I actually have for this this scene to make it a little bit
[01:00:05] creepier and cooler, or maybe even a little bit more like to involve gamer a little bit more into
[01:00:12] this other than just getting picked off off camera is to make it so that like there's a more dire
[01:00:20] situation as gamer is inside the jaws fighting this monster off. Or like or even that like he
[01:00:29] like maybe if you want to have him dead, like have him just being like you can see him like
[01:00:34] crunched inside the inside the mouth of one of these creatures. Yeah, like as it's talking. Yeah,
[01:00:39] or impaled on like its branches or something like that. But yeah, like I like the idea of like as
[01:00:43] it's like talking so that you see gamer likes trying like trying desperately to fight off this like
[01:00:48] monster like almost like the guy from jaws like trying to fight off the the shark as it's eating it.
[01:00:57] And make even have a creepier that like there's no sound from him even it's just the sound of
[01:01:01] the creature like talking. So it's just like this weird again, adds that surrealness that of this
[01:01:06] dream sequence. But yeah, also just to include gamer a little bit more because I feel like gamer
[01:01:12] got kind of a dirty hand here with this. Like the more care that you write in the longer that
[01:01:20] your story is in the more care that you have to keep track. So it's fair. It's only three of us.
[01:01:26] You were effectively replaced by Lucy, aged Beagle. I didn't realize that until just now.
[01:01:34] I mean, okay, I get it. Yeah, yeah, that is that is fair. I am fine to give up my place to this
[01:01:44] we don't know. Yeah, she has a sweetheart. I'll move on to the next thing here. Looking down at the
[01:01:52] bottle in his hand, RC noticed that it did not appear to be the normal kind of bottle they commonly
[01:01:58] used. The bottle was read with a raised symbol on one side of a forking tree branch surrounded
[01:02:05] by an oval. So I thought this was a very nice reference to Lovecraft, given my cultist nature
[01:02:14] and like the nature of my family, cultism, since such. Even using the original elder sign and instead
[01:02:22] of the derelict version that is like everyone knows and loves is the which is the star with the
[01:02:28] the burning eye in the center of it. Instead,
[01:02:32] what is this? The elder sign created by Lovecraft was basically just a tree branch with a couple
[01:02:38] of like lines branching off of it. And that was it. Like it was basically I think it was supposed
[01:02:43] to be like a reference to like an elder tree. Hence why it's called the elder sign. Yes,
[01:02:47] but what does the sign mean? Oh, it's just a war. It has it kind of changes depending on the
[01:02:55] fiction, but it's mostly it's a ward to either ward off mythos entities or to give somebody
[01:03:05] power like mythos power. Okay. Yeah, I think more often than not, it's used as a way of like
[01:03:11] keeping things away from you, like keeping the elder like the elder creatures away from you
[01:03:15] than versus like attracting them. So it attracted them in this story then.
[01:03:22] And that's what I say. Well, maybe maybe the original elder sign attracts mythos entities.
[01:03:27] Whereas they have multiple uses. Yeah, I did. Yeah. But also like the star side, the star elder
[01:03:32] sign is often used more for like warding off things. Whereas I don't I often see the other
[01:03:38] one like you don't really see the other one doing much aside from like just kind of filling in the
[01:03:42] place of the the star one. Maybe the branching elder sign attracts elder tours or like kind of
[01:03:48] like brings them in like it's almost like a summoning award versus the other one that's
[01:03:52] actually repels them. Yeah, something to perhaps consider.
[01:03:59] And then the next thing I have here is from outside the voice bellowed again, it's getting late
[01:04:06] time to go with one more crash. RC was jarred awake. So yeah, this all turned out to be a dream,
[01:04:13] though the ending could like the ending of the actual story, the full story like as it's sort of
[01:04:19] repeating, it's sort of like going into what happened at the beginning of the story of the dream
[01:04:24] could be interpreted as the story was a port a portense of something to come. Like I also like
[01:04:32] just sort of like like the dream like called us had a dream like that was a premonition of like
[01:04:36] what's it to come as he's like going to the gray SUV and driving to his cottage and
[01:04:43] is he going to like suddenly something going to happen and he's going to wake up
[01:04:46] unconscious like from from being concussed and his car's been flipped over and the
[01:04:51] the car is on fire and all that stuff like it's sort of like it's in a loop now or kind of like
[01:04:57] has like that kind of that horror angle where like it's just entered a loop. I also like the idea
[01:05:04] that perhaps the ADR crew slipped into the dreamlands that night and had to deal with a simulacrum
[01:05:13] of the cultist's family property. I could actually see using that in something like
[01:05:21] called Cthulhu or Trail of Cthulhu using the dreamland supplements similar to like dreamhounds
[01:05:27] of Paris where like you enter the dreamlands as like an artist or like as somebody I mean what's
[01:05:32] a podcaster but like an audio artist in some cases but yeah like having like using creativity to
[01:05:41] control at the dreamlands and stuff like that or like getting getting sucked into the
[01:05:44] dreamlands as a result of what you what you do and then dealing with like a weird
[01:05:50] simulacrum of like the podcasters home and stuff like that and then like you could even have that
[01:05:56] the elder god or mastermind behind the scenario or the situation is hypnosis a seldom used dreamlands
[01:06:04] and they're one of their signature like things is poppies which are red flowers like the red bottle
[01:06:12] of the maple syrup bottle. I know it got a little bit of my my brain working as I was reading through
[01:06:19] this and like through a moment like as I was talking like thinking about the the dream sequence
[01:06:24] and like how it could be like used for like a horror thing kind of pulled me into this idea for
[01:06:28] like using it for a scenario. So I go I when you start talking about hip notes I thought you're
[01:06:33] talking about the Pokemon. It's spelled the same but like hip notes is also yeah it's a Pokemon and
[01:06:38] also it's the name of a god. It's actually you know who is the Pokemon. Oh hip note yeah yeah.
[01:06:49] And then my next thing here is uh so this is when yeah after he wakes up is like he was sitting at the
[01:06:56] gaming tape at his game. He was sitting at his gaming table at home both hot and cold and with a
[01:07:01] painful stitch in his side. The heat was from the space heater pushed up closer than normal on one
[01:07:07] side. The cold was from a drink that had been spilled possibly by moving around in his sleep.
[01:07:14] The pain in his side was from being slumped over the arm on his chair lying on a d20 poking his ribs.
[01:07:22] Ah yes. The mornings after my GMing benders can be quite lousy and painful. The things I do
[01:07:31] for our sister podcast One Less Die, an actual play podcast that you can check out as well.
[01:07:37] Plug plug plug plug plug. Nice plug.
[01:07:44] Also I just wanted to say for the record we do not we do well we do play some d20 a lot of d20
[01:07:49] games on One Less Die. We also play other game systems as well like Shadowrun,
[01:07:54] Monster of the Week and uh Boston. So yeah you can check that stuff out there.
[01:07:59] But I will move on. And then we get to the last part which I think we've kind of hinted at and
[01:08:05] brought up in your in your guys grammar and position stuff. So looking in the sack he saw a familiar
[01:08:13] shaped red bottle. A raised maple leaf on one side and on the other side or on the other a simple
[01:08:21] phrase crafted with love. So wait wouldn't it be creepier and perhaps cooler if it was the bottle
[01:08:31] with the elder sign on it instead of something ordinary? Like yes it's colored red which is out
[01:08:37] of the old. And and I hang out yeah yeah like when I first read the story
[01:08:42] like I've read the story like three times now like for this. When I first read the story I swear
[01:08:48] I thought I thought it was the bottle from the original dream but when I read it again over
[01:08:53] to to grab my notes and stuff I found that it was like there was there were differences between
[01:09:00] the two bottle scenes and I was left confused. So I think it would be creepier or even cooler
[01:09:06] if it was sort of you kind of had a dreams in the witch house sort of vibe where
[01:09:13] it was the bottle from the dream like it was something that was like that was pulled out of the dream
[01:09:19] that we that we just read about and like it pulled into the waking world. Yeah even if he just pulls
[01:09:24] it out sees it as the exact same then like shut his eyes and shakes his head and opens his eyes
[01:09:30] and then it looks normal again. Yeah like even that because that is saying like it is still the
[01:09:36] messed up one but it was it didn't have his glamor up in time basically. Yeah or like yeah he where
[01:09:42] he's like seeing like two worlds kind of thing like he's seeing the overlaying of something yeah.
[01:09:47] Yeah that I think would have been a lot cooler like a lot creepier than having it not be the
[01:09:54] same bottle. But I mean don't get me wrong I liked like when it's like with a simple phrase on the
[01:09:59] back crafted with love it's like ha I get it because you know love craft. Yes. Yeah anyway
[01:10:06] yeah but that's that's my actual thoughts on the cottage. So Mikey these stands pretty full.
[01:10:16] All right so I'll continue talking about the bottles some more. So when I got to the end
[01:10:23] I had the whole um it was all a dream or was it vibe? Yeah because of the red bottle but then I was
[01:10:34] like wait did the symbols match? And then I went back and like no the symbols they don't so
[01:10:42] the vibe turned into basically yep it was all a dream. Yeah and that's the problem. I think that I
[01:10:49] totally agree I think that's what needs to be fixed to make this a little bit better
[01:10:54] is to make it the bottle. Yeah all right for me like I did not reread it. So I like you guys
[01:11:06] assumed it was the same bottle and did not change that assumption until we started recording and
[01:11:11] you guys brought up that oh crap it's actually not. Yeah yeah it's three for three. All right so
[01:11:22] almost a grammar Inquisition 2.0. What?
[01:11:25] What?
[01:11:29] Well I have actual thoughts but they
[01:11:33] they're uh they're missing just
[01:11:42] not that bad but some of it's just it could be easily be changed by changing the grammar but
[01:11:50] um so the first exercise here touching his throbbing brow nothing came to mind just a sense of urgency
[01:12:03] and the knowledge that he likely had a concussion. So the fact that he got the knowledge that he likely
[01:12:10] had a concussion means that something did come to mind. That's not I hate you sometimes.
[01:12:20] That's normally my job. I'm normally the one who's eight. Yeah it's I feel like I feel like Mikey's
[01:12:28] being a little like I guess because you thought that I had actually written this story so you were
[01:12:32] being a lot more like heavily critical about it. Just to just to piss me off maybe I don't know.
[01:12:41] Yes but it's also but it's also funny because I know the truth.
[01:12:46] All right so the next actual thought waves not common unless made by the wake of a passing lake
[01:13:03] boat we're lapping on the shore and twitch my thought is well waves are rather common on
[01:13:12] lakes like even the basic of wave especially our lake like the lake where my cottage is on
[01:13:19] like both both in our ADR fiction and real life. That's basically saying it's normally the lake is
[01:13:26] relatively calm and like yeah a substantial wave only comes in when there's passing boats.
[01:13:33] That's also not true but again the writer doesn't necessarily know like the conditions of
[01:13:39] the lake in the country. They're fabricating their own version of it.
[01:13:42] So like you can't say it's right or wrong because you didn't write it right.
[01:13:47] Exactly that's what I mean. Yeah I'm poking at it because I know what the actual setting is
[01:13:57] but like I can't I'm not mad at the person who for like oh I'm not I'm not like criticizing
[01:14:03] them seriously for like that kind of stuff because like they wrote it based off what knowledge they
[01:14:08] knew and like or didn't know so yeah yeah.
[01:14:14] Yeah that just for quite fair for regional for this cottage. Yeah yeah well and I feel
[01:14:23] I would have been fine if they had a size of the waves associated with it.
[01:14:27] Yeah that's true. They said large waves not common unless made by a passing boat we're lapping on the
[01:14:34] shore. Yeah like or like large white caps. I mean large yeah I met large I went to like a large.
[01:14:46] Yeah I just had a microstroke it's fine. Okay yeah like large white caps kind of lapping on the shore.
[01:14:57] Also I mean again this is no no actual serious like gripe against the the author and the writing
[01:15:03] here. I got the impression that they didn't put the cottage on an actual island.
[01:15:08] They just they put it on the shoreline of the island or they put it on the shore of the mainland.
[01:15:13] So yes yeah hence why like the SU. I honestly I think that's like why like the SUV like why they
[01:15:20] mentioned the SUV and some of that and like how it's so close to the cottage and stuff but yeah.
[01:15:25] You're not a filter. All right. No well this is well I mean it's my island.
[01:15:36] All right so the next one is a consistency thing. Okay so technically that falls under grammar
[01:15:48] but it's next to that. Anyway in the undulating motion of the water the dock which would
[01:15:56] normally still be put away for the winter freaked and slowly bumped against the shore.
[01:16:04] To which my perspective shouldn't it be clanked and scraped because that's the noises that were
[01:16:09] coming from the lake. Oh that's I kind of assumed that that was Mikey doing that like scraping and
[01:16:17] some of that but I kind of understand where you're like you think it's like the
[01:16:22] yeah it should be the dock that was making those noises not necessarily help.
[01:16:27] Yeah I'm just gonna mute my phone. Sorry continue. Yeah so yeah that that was my comment there's
[01:16:36] like the we get clanking and scraping noises coming from the lake and then we see the dock it's creaking
[01:16:43] and bumping noises. Yeah which my head cannon now like this is something I will actually take
[01:16:48] from the story. My head cannon is that the cultist family like cottage they have a floating dock
[01:16:55] rather than one that you have to like bring in and put like like kind of like has legs down to
[01:16:59] the bottom of the like the lake bottom and stuff. Well no it says that the the dock is normally
[01:17:06] put away where that one piece of dock is not put away so what I'm assuming happened is Mikey
[01:17:13] got attacked by the tree thing and he like grabbed one of the docks and like dragged it out in the
[01:17:18] lake so he could be away from it so he's not on the land. I didn't get I always got the completed
[01:17:25] substance that it was a floating dock though like not obviously because otherwise you'd be at the
[01:17:30] bottom of the lake. Yeah but I mean like that is actually a type of dock that is common up here
[01:17:34] too like like there are the ones that you like and again both can be brought out or brought in and
[01:17:39] during like the winter seasons and stuff. Yeah but um like yeah I like the the way this one is
[01:17:45] described like bobbing in the waves and stuff like that and like undulating in the waves and such.
[01:17:49] Like that to me looks sounds more like a uh like a floating dock that like basically they heat that
[01:17:55] maybe Mikey just pulled out. I was like oh I literally just said this. I know I know I'm just
[01:18:03] explaining it. Fine you're right. Fuck it. Good. Now I have to walk with Mikey. I'm glad you're
[01:18:12] going to get a couple of images. All right. So here's some more critically silliness.
[01:18:24] Mikey's eyes were a little crazed but they soon melted into relief. Oh no. And then Mikey had no eyes.
[01:18:34] Yeah there's the horror. Finally I don't have eyes anymore. That's the relief. She doesn't have to see
[01:18:44] the monsters anymore. Yeah. Now blinded. He has to be led around by RC. Yeah so the next
[01:18:53] quote here. Mikey's eyes snapped to the force behind RC. They got my leg. Help me off this thing
[01:19:03] replied Mikey. Just drink to the dock. Uh at this point I assumed that Mikey had no leg. I also was
[01:19:16] at this point. I think I think what you're about to bring up. It doesn't follow through
[01:19:22] with that consistently. Yeah. But it is funny to think when that they the author thought there
[01:19:31] was no leg but because there's certain things that lead to that. Like the next quote here.
[01:19:40] Uh this was no small feat. Because since you know. Oh god damn it. Well there's one leg.
[01:19:47] I think that was an intentional but god damn it.
[01:19:54] And then um earlier or early in grammar condition but also again assuming one leg.
[01:20:04] Uh RC checked his phone seeing had no signal while Mikey leaned into accounting the events
[01:20:11] that led to the current situation. Here's the thing. I honestly like think that's
[01:20:16] something that the character like the author should like address or like make that more
[01:20:20] clear that like he actually lost the leg to have those funnies or those like kind of like silly like
[01:20:24] like kind of like like kind of morbid humor to it. Because I got the impression that like at first
[01:20:30] saying oh yeah he lost his leg but then it sounded like he just like his leg got hurt
[01:20:34] not that was removed by the creepier. So but I think it should he like they should go full
[01:20:39] hot lean into that and that like the the the the tree ate hit like bit his leg off.
[01:20:44] And so now he's just like legless there or like he has like one leg for the rest of the story.
[01:20:50] Yeah I think that would actually be really like would be an improvement to the story.
[01:20:53] Mm-hmm. They're my next actual thought here.
[01:21:02] They quickly negotiated back and forth. They agreed that the sugar shack was their safest choice.
[01:21:11] So I feel this was the perfect opportunity to have some more dialogue. Yeah like it's a story
[01:21:21] they're talking don't just tell us they talked give us the talking.
[01:21:24] Yeah it's the show don't tell sort of situation. Yeah yeah and the thing is like what did they
[01:21:31] need to negotiate? Was a Revu cultist charging Mikey for his help to get off the dock?
[01:21:38] Like I understand like the negotiation thing is like I mean it's just used as like they had
[01:21:44] a conversation like that's like and like they're debating like back and forth what to do.
[01:21:47] But it wasn't like that long of a conversation that you couldn't just write at the conversation
[01:21:51] is what he's doing. Yeah I know I also agree like I think it should have been like there should
[01:21:55] be a little bit of dialogue here to kind of like give us that negotiation or that that dialogue.
[01:21:59] Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like the cottage is up in flames okay where could we roll out sugar
[01:22:05] jacks about this place all right let's go. Yeah. Okay.
[01:22:12] Or like we're going to start just a quick aside because I remember like right before that it was
[01:22:17] like Mikey's like we got to get to the cottage it's the safest place like and just like the
[01:22:21] expedite guy was like cultist just like oh actually about that. It's not actually it's not
[01:22:29] really the safest place anymore. Wait why what happened it's on fire what?
[01:22:34] Or cultist goes oh about that and the scene like shifts over a second to the burning cottage
[01:22:41] with like clapsing in. And then maybe like maybe Mikey like comments like quips back it's like
[01:22:49] well that would explain the wood burning smell. The smell of burning wood and regret.
[01:22:56] Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. So I think we can all agree like a little bit some dialogue would have
[01:23:06] been like showing and not telling and having some dialogue there would have would have been a
[01:23:10] a nice like addition to this or correction to the story. Yes.
[01:23:16] Okay. All right. Next actual thought here I have a quote. So from their fall into the lake
[01:23:25] this would quickly become a problem as would the failing light.
[01:23:32] So I feel well this is the second time that it's mentioned that they fell into the lake.
[01:23:38] Yeah. And I feel there needs to be more emphasis on the first fall because
[01:23:45] neither of the characters respond to falling to lake and being pulled and wet.
[01:23:51] Yeah. That is a somebody who has gone into the water like in the like late fall early spring to
[01:23:58] get their dock in there out. It is always a jolt. And I have not done a polar bear dip yet in my
[01:24:06] life but I have jumped in the water far too early in the spring as a kid. Like I've jumped in the
[01:24:14] water far too early and like while there's still ice visible on the lake.
[01:24:20] And it has been a jolt. So yeah there would definitely be some reaction to the temperature.
[01:24:28] Yeah. Because it talks about it like the story knows that later in the story there will be
[01:24:35] repercussions to them jumping the lake. Yeah. But there aren't. But it's basically saying like
[01:24:40] because they're cold if they don't find shelter there will be problems and they try to shelter
[01:24:44] so there's no problems. Yeah. But there should be some like lead up to that. Yeah. Yeah.
[01:24:57] All right. So let's see here.
[01:25:03] R.C. was the one who was surprised as he heard an excited baying and was bowled over
[01:25:14] as something solid and heavy hit his shins. It is later revealed that it is Lucy.
[01:25:22] Yes. I don't know if Lucy would ever just go straight for the shins and cause cultists to
[01:25:29] follow. Okay. But I may be wrong. ADR version of Lucy. Yes. Like cartoon version of Lucy. Yes.
[01:25:36] I that's that's how I'm kind of perceiving this. Like this is not real world Lucy. This is more
[01:25:42] Well, this didn't write this. Yeah. This is a fictional version of Lucy. And the author doesn't know
[01:25:48] like I have shared some photos like on certain servers where this author is. But like
[01:25:54] yeah, like they don't fully know Lucy's like attitude and stuff. Although Lucy when she was
[01:26:01] younger like she would like tackle your your your legs. So I don't think she'd do it. She can't
[01:26:07] really do it nowadays. But she does like like she got the whining down right because my god does
[01:26:13] she whine when like she's left alone for too long. And she does get like a little bit more active
[01:26:21] after like a few hours of being left alone. Like when I come back home from from somewhere.
[01:26:25] Like she is like trying to get out of her penance of that. And she's just like waddles
[01:26:28] hurriedly toward. But like yeah, it's it's sort of again. This isn't like this is the story.
[01:26:37] There's been some flourishes to the the characters. Yeah. Yeah. All the characters are taken. They're
[01:26:42] they're made a little bit cartoony. Yeah. Not in a bad way. No. Yeah. And just rolls with it. Yeah.
[01:26:48] It's not meant to be one to one real like real life. Yeah. Like honestly, the way the story
[01:26:54] can't place out. I could see myself like making this into a little comic. And I would have like
[01:27:00] the kind of shenanigans like the dog like bolt like like a cartoon version of comic book version
[01:27:04] of Lucy just like bowling my character over. So yeah. Also, this is another sentence where I
[01:27:13] learned any work because I didn't know what baying was. Oh, yeah, right. Oh, yeah.
[01:27:16] Now that a doggo makes while they're tracking something. Yep. I also think it when when
[01:27:22] referencing like goats and stuff like like they bay as well. Are they baw? No, bray. So I'm
[01:27:30] thinking braing like goats like said, bray. Yes. Yeah. Also, I feel like every time I learn a new word,
[01:27:36] it's like the gamer in yellow has learned baying, but can't learn any more words, which wouldn't
[01:27:41] like a Pokemon move. Pretty much. Yeah. You're you're you're you're you're internal hard drive.
[01:27:49] Just has has too much information has to be like some stuff has to be deleted. Yeah, I don't have
[01:27:54] a one gig internal hard drive. So yeah, you're really should upgrade to like some, what is it?
[01:28:01] Beta or or Delta Delta where? Sorry, Mike. Oh, yes. Going back to chaturon. Sorry, Mike.
[01:28:13] All right. So the next quote here, standing over the pair, Mikey cracked a smile for the first time
[01:28:24] that night and said, get a room, you two. At this point, I was still assuming that Mikey was
[01:28:32] only on one leg, which made me smile. And I think, but I don't think he would say get a room, you two,
[01:28:41] he would probably just roll his eyes. But at this point, we established that his eyes melted.
[01:28:46] So you need to find some way aside from visualizing it. Yeah. Also, tell me you would not
[01:28:55] quip like something similar to this. If like, if I was going overboard with like playing with my dog.
[01:29:03] Well, like I said, I might roll my eyes and just like, Oh, I can.
[01:29:07] Yeah. So because you would quip, you could, you would have potentially said your quip like this.
[01:29:22] I mean, we know you're a demon, a few words, but when you do your quip or when you do your words,
[01:29:28] it's usually a quip.
[01:29:28] As he falls silent.
[01:29:37] Yeah, it's it's it's it's prophetic. It's like, like, few prophetic words and quips,
[01:29:46] or or that giggle.
[01:29:48] Yeah. All right. So the next part, which broke my thought process that he'd lost the leg.
[01:30:07] But was also kind of funny. My leg was hit just before I broke the tree line. And I heard it
[01:30:15] recede into the woods when I crossed the water.
[01:30:20] Yeah.
[01:30:23] Well, he didn't tell I heard you say yeah, same. It's like, well, he has a demon. So maybe like,
[01:30:28] when you cut off a part of his, like a limb, it gained sense. She is like, No, Mikey, I'm just gonna
[01:30:35] make a new Mikey. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, yeah, my cosmic demons are like sea cucumbers. You chop it
[01:30:41] in half. There's something to see cucumbers. There's suddenly two Mikey's.
[01:30:48] Oops, another Mikey.
[01:30:52] Yeah. All right. So my next actual thought, I have another couple quotes here.
[01:31:02] Also, the previous one have been a little bit of grammar situation. Like, should there be a
[01:31:08] different wording? So there is no assumption that is like retreated into the woods.
[01:31:12] Yeah, like the creature of the thing. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, moving on.
[01:31:18] Yeah. All right. Don't forget that you two are going to go open up the cottage for the season.
[01:31:30] And this moved up the normal season, closing and open activities of pushing out the dock
[01:31:37] and finishing up surf processing at the sugar shack.
[01:31:42] Opening the cottage and pushing out the dock is more than a two person job.
[01:31:48] Yes. As somebody, I think all three of us have been, or have been, well, you two have definitely
[01:31:55] been wrangled among like a couple of other of our friends when my dad is coming out to the
[01:32:00] cottage to bring our dock in or out. Like, so yeah, it's definitely there. Yeah. I don't recall
[01:32:05] ever seeing him. It's like one's a try. Usually when you're not around.
[01:32:12] Yeah. For real world clarity, it takes about at least four people to bring one of our docks in.
[01:32:20] Now that's dead. If this is really what your cottage is.
[01:32:25] And that said, that is the real world like experience. I'm legitimately, like,
[01:32:29] serious when I said like my head can and now for the review cultist and his cottage and stuff
[01:32:33] of that is that their family has a floatable one, which is a lot easier. That's the two person
[01:32:40] job, like Max. Well, also it's you, your dad, Mikey, and whatever friends you have at the cottage.
[01:32:48] Yeah. So it's entirely possible. No, but this, but this, in this case, like it said,
[01:32:55] it's just the two of you. Like it's not like dad's not going.
[01:32:58] Is it actually just the two? Yeah. Well, it's like, it says dad, like dad cultist gives cultist a,
[01:33:05] that bag. And so it says to take Lucy. So like apparently Lucy's going to help as well.
[01:33:10] Yeah. It's like four people then. Yeah. What I get, what I'll get is where's gamer in the waking
[01:33:16] world? The gamer not like the gamer die in the dream. And so we died for real.
[01:33:20] Yeah. That's how it works. It's how it works in that movie gamer, right?
[01:33:25] No, you stay alive. Yeah, gamers, the one with gamers, the, the live action, like MMO, where like
[01:33:33] people are like plugged into it into other people to have like a second life sort of situation.
[01:33:39] Oh, I thought that was the one where like the dude is controlling the dude that's like disguised
[01:33:43] as. No, that's that's under a guy that's like murdering dudes. Yeah, that's that's gamer. But
[01:33:53] but what you're referencing with like you die in the game, you die for real is from stay alive.
[01:33:57] Okay, got you. Yeah. Wow. We got there.
[01:34:06] All right. So my next actual thought is just a general actual thought. Okay. And I didn't like
[01:34:17] the initials RC to reference cultist. I would have liked it. I just said cultist. Yeah, fair.
[01:34:28] That you know, honestly, that's fair. I do use RC in my short in shorthand when I'm doing like,
[01:34:34] when I when I have used our review cultist before in like some comics and stuff like that and some
[01:34:38] like comic strips and stuff, I have you just reduced his name to RC. So I'm not gonna lie.
[01:34:44] First time I saw it and through most of the story, I had to fight myself from viewing
[01:34:50] review cultist as RC transformers. Okay. And I mean, we still haven't seen what under that
[01:34:57] damn quote, you could be RC transformers for all we know. I'm using, you know, it's it's possible.
[01:35:02] I guess. Yeah. Yeah. I'm okay. Then my next actual thought.
[01:35:14] She is. I'm sorry. I just do something here. Okay.
[01:35:22] So reading this, I had to disassociate my knowledge of your view cultist cottage
[01:35:36] so that I could accurately visualize the cottage in the story. Yes. Yeah, that's something all I
[01:35:42] think all three of us had to do was like, this is not like this is a fan's like version of our of
[01:35:48] what the review cultist cottages because I mean, you're still on the book.
[01:35:53] Fair. But like we've all been to the actual real life cottage that my family owns and so that
[01:36:00] we also have all done like maple syrup and so that so like we the sugar shack is different as
[01:36:06] well. Like we we actually have it's a lot more open. It's a much more open concept thing from
[01:36:11] what a traditional sugar shack is. In fact, I do know that the author here did consult
[01:36:18] a somebody who had a had a sugar shack for the proper nomenclature, but they were using more
[01:36:26] traditional like sugar shacks, which are even around here, like around like around where we live.
[01:36:32] There are sugar shacks that are more closely related to like how this sugar shack in the story
[01:36:36] is presented. Yeah, it does a lot more redneck. Yeah, we're we're a lot more of a of a
[01:36:43] gorilla operation. Yeah. Gorilla as in like the the rough and like rough and tumble and like
[01:36:52] like out in the field sort of situation, not like the animal, the gorilla. Yes.
[01:36:58] Well, how else are we going to get to the car? Yeah, exactly. How else are we going to get
[01:37:04] the the taps out so far into the woods in the in such snow? Like we just send some silverbacks out
[01:37:11] there. And now and now I yeah, it's like the North American house hippo. We got the the great
[01:37:19] Canadian the great Canadian maple gorilla. Yeah, maple. Yeah, maple back. Yeah, the great Canadian
[01:37:26] maplebacks commonly commonly confused for Bigfoot. God, now I want to throw that into a comic or a
[01:37:36] story now. Goddamn it. I am. Thank you, uh, redacted until the end of this episode.
[01:37:45] End of the episode. Me. Yeah, twist and it was Mikey the entire time.
[01:37:53] Oh my god, that was hilarious. He wrote just like 10 years ago. He's like, oh god.
[01:38:01] That's why he's so like critical about the. Yeah.
[01:38:06] Rippity. Yeah. All right. We should really continue on. Yeah, probably.
[01:38:13] All right. So my last actual thought I'm saving for after gamer has done his because
[01:38:23] I'm pretty sure he's going to bring it up and I don't want us to lose thunder.
[01:38:27] Oh, generous. Okay.
[01:38:30] Uh, gamer, you look like I'm on the spot. Yeah, you are. You're up.
[01:38:36] Oh god. All right. Just the spotlight.
[01:38:40] Gulp. Uh, let's see if I bring that up. Uh,
[01:38:47] so my first two actually only brought up in started my grammar in yellow, but that's fine moving on.
[01:38:54] Wind was picking up, chilling the pear to the bone and causing the trees to sway.
[01:38:59] Do you have bones, Mikey? You're an unknowable being from beyond time and space.
[01:39:04] Do you has bones? He's got star bones.
[01:39:08] Star bones. Oh yeah. And star bones.
[01:39:14] Also, that is definitely the that is definitely the title of a of a of a shitty Star Wars porno.
[01:39:19] Probably star bones. Sorry. You're not sorry. No, I really don't.
[01:39:30] Yeah, I don't know if I had bones.
[01:39:36] There's one way to find out if they bring right there. Let me get this baseball bat.
[01:39:43] No, we'll do science after. Uh, so.
[01:39:48] We'll do mythos clusters later. Yes. Okay. So moving on things happen. Uh, Mikey describes that, uh,
[01:39:58] that the gamer in yellow without the W because the name is too long was taken by a forest monster.
[01:40:03] And then it follows with this. Now referring to the cultist, he paused and glanced out the window,
[01:40:08] scanning the tree line. What was it? Create RC with an agitated tone.
[01:40:14] It feels so good to be missed knowing that my friends are so concerned about my well-being.
[01:40:19] There's no like, is he okay or anything like that? I mean, does that not track aim or no?
[01:40:26] I mean, yeah, you guys are like, thank God. Oh my God. Well, the thing is,
[01:40:34] it was left out that I actually shoved you. Um, because the trees are actually, um, the, uh,
[01:40:46] tangent police. Oh, shit.
[01:40:52] Tangent police. What do they call a group of trees? A cop's a tree.
[01:40:59] Oh my God. That's what's under the SWAT gear. It's just trees under that SWAT gear.
[01:41:05] I want to play as an aunt. That is a security officer. Oh, I am 100% down to run that in like,
[01:41:16] to be totally honest, gamer. Um, so learning this, the Dresden accelerated game for one
[01:41:21] less die in RPX. I have a stronger sense of what fate, accelerate can do. And like we could
[01:41:27] dip. We can make that happen.
[01:41:30] And they're huge, but I'd be a sappy one.
[01:41:32] Yeah, you'd be like a small, like a human sized and creature, like inside, like human-sized
[01:41:37] arm, like swan armor. I literally kind of want to do like a, like a tangent police and like an
[01:41:44] SNTF game in like fate accelerated sometime. I think it would be really fun and silly, but
[01:41:50] it does seem nice and silly. Yeah, you should pick a note of that somewhere.
[01:41:54] Yeah, I'm totally writing that down. We will forget that. Yeah. And if not, um, redacted,
[01:42:01] you can, you can remind me, because you're my, like, like we talk. So.
[01:42:08] You talk to the voice in your head. I get it. Yeah, clearly. Obviously you still
[01:42:12] wrote that. Yeah, you're still giving that bit up, aren't you? For now. Yeah.
[01:42:17] Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, back to me being taken and no one can even get it.
[01:42:26] Okay, I want to, like, clear the air a little bit. In real life, we would be like, I would,
[01:42:32] like, be trying, worried about what happened to you. Well, let's don't try to get there.
[01:42:37] That being said, like, on hearing that there's something out there that does,
[01:42:42] like, does that takes people? Self-preservation would be paramount at that point. Like, you need
[01:42:48] to learn about what it is before you can worry about anything else or if it's, like, if you can
[01:42:54] get your friend back that was taken. So it's not completely wrong that they don't care about my safety.
[01:43:03] You know, it's fine. Yeah, like, yeah, like there's nothing we could really do because like, it came
[01:43:08] so fast and like, grabbed you and then like, for all we know, you've already been chomped up and
[01:43:13] eaten. Yes. But that's something like he could have said, like, yeah, bit him in half and took
[01:43:17] his body. Oh, great. Uh, what was it? Or better? Or better? Yeah. It's like, Oh, look, I've been
[01:43:24] impaled. Yes. Yes. Confirmation about what happened exactly. Yeah, would be nice.
[01:43:32] Well, because again, it all happened so fast. So like, he doesn't really know what he like,
[01:43:36] it came out of the blur. So I thought it goes. It just said it took him. Okay. Yeah, that's fair.
[01:43:43] Yeah. It should have said like it was, it was all a blur. I didn't get like a good, a good view of what
[01:43:46] it was. It's in the tree somewhere. So like, like he didn't even, like it happened so fast,
[01:43:51] you didn't realize that it was the trees. He thought it was something in the trees.
[01:43:54] Yeah, it just says whatever it is moves quickly and sounds like thunder. So you could
[01:43:59] like extrapolate that out to being it moved quickly. I didn't see it, I guess. Yeah.
[01:44:06] Either way, moving on.
[01:44:09] Or see looked around the familiar environs of the shack.
[01:44:13] That is actually proper use of that word. I've learned a third word.
[01:44:17] So I was like, I read that. I was like, I bet dollars to donuts.
[01:44:24] Someone like, I figured it was going to be, no Fedscaper. I figured it was going to be you that would
[01:44:29] comment about that. And I was like, and I was like, I'm ready to counter this.
[01:44:35] Yeah, no. If I read a word that I don't know, first thing I do is Google it.
[01:44:40] To see if it's a real word or if it's like some horror misspelling. Either way,
[01:44:47] environ, environ, whatever is basically the surrounding here.
[01:44:51] Yeah. Very fancy way of saying that.
[01:44:54] It's a very fancy way of shortening environment.
[01:44:59] Oh, yeah, I guess.
[01:45:00] Yeah, because that's where it comes from.
[01:45:02] Yeah. I feel like I'm learning more words here than any other serious relate.
[01:45:08] Oh, so it's like having the Riz.
[01:45:15] What's the Riz? I forgot that when I learned it's like, it's like a, it's like a generation
[01:45:19] Z like slang for charisma.
[01:45:22] Oh, okay. It comes from charisma because it's like, you got the Riz. Like you got the charisma.
[01:45:27] Cool. Yeah. Now what's environs? I just forgot that.
[01:45:31] I can only load no so many more.
[01:45:34] Goddamn. It's fine.
[01:45:37] Oh, no, you forgot fire. That's why you forgot fireball.
[01:45:40] Yeah.
[01:45:43] But moving on. Yes.
[01:45:47] My last note, we get to our C waking up for the third time
[01:45:51] and he's in a completely different environment now.
[01:45:54] He could complete the different environ now.
[01:45:56] I was kind of wondering where this would go because like, I kind of wish he would like keep
[01:46:02] waking up in crazier and crazier situations. Yeah.
[01:46:07] And initially, I wasn't really bothered by that it was all a dream situation because there was a
[01:46:13] or was it situation that I incorrectly read that it should have been. Yeah. So now that you guys
[01:46:21] have opened my eyes to that, it might affect my recommendation.
[01:46:29] I liked how there was a or was it situation. Yeah, there's no I wasn't it or was it anymore.
[01:46:35] So yeah, that's fair. I do kind of agree. Like how funny would it be like it's like,
[01:46:40] so he gets like knocked out by the by the not Lucy in the in the sugar shack again for a second
[01:46:46] time wakes up and the sugar shack is on fire. And then it's revealed that the creature was
[01:46:51] actually Lucy who mutates into this horrible monster and is attacking. That's where like the
[01:46:55] nightmare keeps going in. Like it gets darker and creepier and more like sinister as it goes on.
[01:47:01] And then he finally wakes up or does he?
[01:47:06] Kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah, it'd be kind of cool if this was like a complete loop that kept going.
[01:47:12] Yeah. Like it doesn't end with him just looking at the bottle. Like something else happens that's
[01:47:18] even crazier and knocks him out. And then he wakes up somewhere else and then something else knocks
[01:47:24] him out. And then he wakes up at the start of the actual story. So it's like an actual full loop.
[01:47:29] Yeah. Like the last wake up is him waking up at the cottage with the wheel spinning on his SUV.
[01:47:37] Like it's because because on this last one he wakes up and he's gonna go to the cottage.
[01:47:42] So then basically the ending is what happened to cause him to spin out.
[01:47:47] That's true. Yeah. So then his whole life isn't just in a loop of these events happen.
[01:47:53] It's not a loop. It's a spiral. Sure.
[01:47:59] But I feel like that would be a cooler way to end it. Yeah. But that's the end of minutes.
[01:48:05] Okay. Well, let's move on to final thoughts.
[01:48:09] Oh, wait. Hang on. Yes. Sorry, Mikey. You had some Mikey. You had something before we go.
[01:48:15] Well, with all the waking up, this story has a severe lack of popsicle sticks.
[01:48:24] Yeah. That's true. Yeah. I mean, people who
[01:48:29] not this is being silly. You know, if you were a real fan redacted,
[01:48:33] you might get done to that whole thing where we will constantly reference that Game Grumps joke.
[01:48:39] Yeah. But also like, I can
[01:48:42] woke up with a popsicle stick in my mouth. That said, perhaps that said, perhaps it is a good thing
[01:48:48] that it isn't referenced because it isn't our joke. It's one that we just, it's from the Game Grumps
[01:48:54] from a Game Grumps episode that we just continually reference. So it's probably good that they didn't
[01:49:01] reference that indeed. That's it. Okay. So on to final thoughts, then.
[01:49:11] So this was very fun and incredibly flattering to read. I can see using this,
[01:49:20] like some of the stuff in here, I can see using for Game Fodder, honestly, like some like,
[01:49:24] again, like the cops of trees that are actually the, the, yeah, the cops of trees that are actually
[01:49:32] the, the tangent police finally, like getting their vengeance on us. That's what it was all actually
[01:49:39] about. Or that like people getting trapped in a dreamlands and like living in a simulacrum there
[01:49:48] because of hypnose, the God of dreams and such. Or like having this being stuck in a time loop
[01:49:53] where like they, they have a vision of events that are about to transpire and then they realize
[01:49:58] that they're about to enter the same like cycle. That could be really cool to play with in a game,
[01:50:04] especially if you like, start like adding that like they try to break out of it and it just kind
[01:50:08] of leads them back to the events. Or it just gets worse and worse. So it could be a cool like
[01:50:13] chrono, chrono horror or like time horror kind of situation. The, the trees wanting their syrup
[01:50:22] back is also really cool. Like the, the idea that like the, the maple syrup, the maple trees
[01:50:26] are wanting their, their maple syrup back. Yeah, basically we're vampires. Yeah. Yeah. So we,
[01:50:35] it's, it's basically like a Canadian version of I am legend, where the vampire society took over
[01:50:42] earth and there's one human left and they have become the monster of the vampire society.
[01:50:47] It's just called I am Canadian. I am Canadian. Most of Canadian commercial. Yeah.
[01:50:56] Yeah, whatever it's just I am Canadian. Yeah. No, I am legendary. Yeah, there you go. Yeah.
[01:51:06] It's just, it's just Doug McKenzie's like, oh yeah, I'm a, I'm legendary.
[01:51:10] But anyway, yeah. So I'm a bit biased by this story, given the subject.
[01:51:17] Um, but I think as a fan made 80 like story involving the al dente rigor mortis crew.
[01:51:23] With a few tweaks and even some more like flourish and kind of leaning into the horror as well as
[01:51:29] some like the silly notes that we, we commented about. I could recommend this, but as it is right
[01:51:34] now, I can think I can only really partially recommend this. Um, because like, it wasn't
[01:51:40] incredibly scary or creepy, but it was incredibly flattering and just a cool story to read from,
[01:51:47] from a fan. So yeah, that's, that's my recommendation. Mikey, these stands for evil.
[01:51:55] All right. Um, so I feel like this story needs more, um, description of scenes, um, mainly because
[01:52:12] it has to dislodge our own head cannon. Yeah.
[01:52:17] Um, it's probably harder for us to read because we keep connecting it to the real life place.
[01:52:25] Yeah. Like somebody else, if you wanted to actually make this into an actual creepy pasta,
[01:52:29] like I feel like other people, not us, might find it more and more enjoyable, maybe even find
[01:52:37] it more creepy because they don't have the, all the, the obstacles that we have to jump over,
[01:52:43] um, to like, to, uh, to, uh, pull ourselves out of like our own, like, pull our heads out of our own
[01:52:51] asses. Yeah. And cannons, that's our own world. And just enjoy, like, for what, what is written or
[01:52:58] like this version that is written. So yeah. Yeah. I tried to keep my head out of my ass and
[01:53:04] much as I could, but I mean, it's just, yeah, they're all, we're all pretty stuck there.
[01:53:14] Yeah. So I liked the thought process of Mikey losing a leg. Yeah. I think that's, but that would be a good
[01:53:24] addition, but it wasn't built upon or, uh, even really mentioned that he only had one leg just that
[01:53:34] the most we get is that his leg was hit. Yeah. It was like taking a rough, but I'm going to interrupt,
[01:53:42] um, just because we never really brought it up. His injuries are kind of glossed over as to what
[01:53:48] actually happened. Like, yeah, he's just, it's really generic. Yeah. It kind of just feels like,
[01:53:53] like the thing just like whacked his leg and heard it. So he has, he has trouble walking, but like,
[01:53:59] it's because if it had been like that his leg was removed, there's so many incidental version,
[01:54:04] like, like words that are used to like for like the comment on like that, like he's missing a leg
[01:54:09] or so that's like, like, it's, it would have been perfect if it had actually been like his leg was
[01:54:14] removed. Yeah. Um, so continuing the, I liked the bottle at the end until I went back and realized
[01:54:30] that the bottle wasn't the same. Yeah. I think that's, yeah. I think that was all of us. Yeah.
[01:54:39] Yeah. No, I, I wish it had been like the one, the exact copy of the one from the dream,
[01:54:45] because that would have made it more surreal, creepy, even just the same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
[01:54:52] even if it would be like, yeah, he like, he like, he has, or like suddenly he, like, as soon as he looks
[01:54:58] at it and it's the same, he suddenly has like a headache, kind of like the concussion. And then
[01:55:02] like when he, when he blinks again, it's, it's not the same bottle. Yeah. That'd be cool. Yeah.
[01:55:09] Yeah. Like he has phantom pain from like the concussion in the dream kind of thing. Yeah.
[01:55:17] Well, I'm surprised you don't refer to yourself as I when you're referring to
[01:55:20] review cults, giving things. Well, because
[01:55:25] behind the curtain, I'm not actually the review.
[01:55:30] I only, I only play him on this podcast.
[01:55:36] What are you talking about? I'm actually the gamer in yellow. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Yeah.
[01:55:43] For the bit, right? No.
[01:55:46] I mean, technically, I'm probably not your left attempt, to be honest, because I have so many damn names.
[01:55:55] I have, well, there's review cultists. There's craze on. There's my actual name. Chris.
[01:56:04] Weird. Like anybody who like listens to one, let's die knows who my, what my actual name is.
[01:56:09] Oh, shit. You're right.
[01:56:11] But yeah, for the, for the bit of like the show and stuff like that, yeah, like,
[01:56:15] behind the curtain, like, yeah, like that's why I usually refer, like, but also like sometimes
[01:56:19] I'm referencing like the character in the, in the story kind of stuff. So. Yeah.
[01:56:25] That's, this is, this is, this is, this episode's very meta.
[01:56:29] Because we're sort of like, we're, we're, I, that's why I feel like I can like, kind of break
[01:56:35] character a little bit and use and like comment on that kind of stuff, because the story kind of
[01:56:40] is very meta to me, which kind of also gave it points because I love meta, meta fiction. So.
[01:56:51] But sorry, Mikey, continue.
[01:56:55] Yeah. So.
[01:56:56] So. Well, it was an interesting read because it's quote unquote done by a fan.
[01:57:07] As Mikey's looking in my direction.
[01:57:13] Always have to be your first fan, because if you don't enjoy it, then no one else will.
[01:57:20] Too true.
[01:57:21] I, I do not recommend this, but then again, it's also because of the, the biases of knowing what
[01:57:34] review called this cottage actually is versus what is in the story. Yeah, like, having to.
[01:57:42] Basically. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[01:57:44] Because there wasn't enough description of the scenes to differentiate it.
[01:57:51] Yeah.
[01:57:54] Because the eventually you do get the head can that it's likely a cottage on a lake, not on an island.
[01:58:04] But it takes so long to actually build the picture that versus what reality we have.
[01:58:17] What we what we actually know about the cottage and stuff like that. Like, yeah.
[01:58:21] Yeah. Yeah. We had to, again, like, I feel like you're, you're, you're, you're, you're,
[01:58:29] you're pinning on this is very much valid because it's, it is hard to sort of like disassociate from
[01:58:34] something that you know is wrong, but you know that because like the person doesn't know
[01:58:40] all the details about that about the, about the setting or the location kind of thing.
[01:58:44] It's pretty easy. Yeah.
[01:58:47] I mean, in some cases it is, but sometimes people can't reconcile it.
[01:58:50] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's why we get so that whether so much like, like,
[01:58:56] anger, I think, I also think that's probably why there's so much anger a lot of the time in,
[01:59:00] like, fandoms is because people just can't disassociate or reconcile, like, what if scenarios
[01:59:08] and fanfiction where, like, people change something in a setting or like that's the real one.
[01:59:16] Yeah. It's sort of like, like, I think actually more recently the Halo TV, the Halo series,
[01:59:21] like the Halo show, but like, it's a good show. Hang on. I will, I will 100% defend that show
[01:59:28] as a good and interesting sci-fi series. As a man who has never seen the show,
[01:59:34] I will defend about how terrible it is. I will, I will say it is not my Halo
[01:59:43] because it is, it is, but it is an interesting version of Halo, but it is not canonically the same.
[01:59:50] Like, it is not an adaptation. It is an adaptation in that they took the, all the different components
[01:59:56] and parts of the story and setting of Halo and decided to make something that was like in another
[02:00:02] reality. It's Halo with the names filed off and then messily written back on with a Sharpie.
[02:00:10] That's one way, see, see, I feel like even that is like the same kind of thing as like not being
[02:00:15] able to disassociate because like, why can't it just be like, it's an alternative version of Halo,
[02:00:20] not like the names filed off and then messily scribbled back on? It's like, no,
[02:00:25] it's just right now on recording. But because there's never been,
[02:00:32] there's only been one canon of Halo this entire time.
[02:00:37] Not true. What's a different canon? There's like, there's all the, like, this is like,
[02:00:42] the canon is like, yeah, it's basically, I see it kind of, it's just like, it's a fan fiction
[02:00:49] a you version of Halo. Like, it's not, and they even have said like, it's not canon to Halo. So
[02:00:55] it's just, it's a show that uses Halo as a setting, but changes it and tweaks it to their own designs.
[02:01:00] I guess. And that's what I'm saying, like, as a shut the fuck up and hide his ass.
[02:01:06] I mean, to be fair, honestly, like, again, like that's, that's one of the things I just like,
[02:01:09] I was able to disconnect after that. And I was like, okay, this is, this is not
[02:01:13] a remake of the Halo series. This is a, this is a, an adaptation. It's, which is not a replica
[02:01:21] by, by its nature of the, by the description of that, of that term. So it's, it's fine. Like,
[02:01:26] but I know a lot of people hate it because it's not the, the same as Halo with the games.
[02:01:32] It's also a lot like a new Saints Row game. Yeah. If it wasn't called Saints Row,
[02:01:38] I'm sure it would have done fine. Yeah. It's not a Saints Row game.
[02:01:42] Yeah. Like that's, that's, that's all I'm trying to get here with the point is like,
[02:01:46] that this is how difficult it is sometimes for fandoms or for people who are like invested in
[02:01:51] something to disassociate from something that is similar, that is derived from something that you
[02:01:57] love and then like, or that you know, and somebody has made it different. Like, that's how I'm,
[02:02:02] all I'm trying to use is for this example. Yes. So yeah. We got there. Yeah.
[02:02:09] No, I'm not cutting any of that out because that was gold, but like also like that almost
[02:02:14] turned into a, into a fan fight between you and me. A little bit about Halo.
[02:02:22] But I will, I will stop talking. You have to do the intro though. You can't completely stop talking.
[02:02:30] Oh, that's true. I also have to, I also have to reveal the secret of this episode.
[02:02:34] Okay. But so Mike, you say you're not going to recommend it because you couldn't disassociate
[02:02:40] from what you know about the setting. Yeah. Okay. Gamer, your recommendation.
[02:02:48] And final thoughts. Yeah. I did enjoy the read, honestly partially because it's written for the show,
[02:02:53] so it gets props for that. But also it did a couple of things that normally bug me, but I did
[02:02:58] them well enough that I didn't have a problem with them, namely starting with media res and
[02:03:02] initially the, it was all a dream. Was handled well, I thought, because I thought there was still
[02:03:09] a connection. It could have been. Yeah. But it wasn't because it's a different,
[02:03:15] different bottle by the end. There's a severe lack of gamer in yellow in this. Yeah.
[02:03:22] I'm going to assume that I'm busy having a new root or DBZ style anime battle with a bunch of
[02:03:26] saplings over there. Yeah. And not absolutely ripped to pieces. Like I absolutely am in this.
[02:03:33] Or how I don't care if I die. Yeah. I think that would, well, because also that was the dream. So
[02:03:39] like there's a chance that like perhaps it when the loop comes back around, that might not happen.
[02:03:44] But it's like, this is review cultist dream and in your dream, you would absolutely kill.
[02:03:49] I mean, yeah, I mean, yeah, that checks. So our monster comes out and he absolutely destroys gamer
[02:04:03] in yellow. Yeah, draws and corners. It was glorious. Yes. I mean, we were totally horrified by this.
[02:04:10] But we were just like, but it was amazing. Yeah. I was amazed at the gore and how fast, how, how
[02:04:19] wide it spread. Yes. But no, uh, yeah, that's how, that's how you know it's not me that wrote this.
[02:04:29] I would have written up a full page of just graphic details.
[02:04:33] How you're careful. I die. Oh, you were a Mr. That's true. I still don't believe you that though.
[02:04:42] But but no, it was a good read. I liked it. I these suggestions that we had to change the ending.
[02:04:49] I believe are for the better either make it so it is actually the same maple syrup jug or
[02:04:57] have it be the same for half a second and then he blinks and then it's different or the suggestion
[02:05:03] I had where it continues and goes on and then we get to see what happened at the start that caused
[02:05:11] him to wreck his SUV and get a headache. And as the cycle basically loops and like the last
[02:05:17] paragraph is just the first sentence of the start of the story to have it be a full loop of him
[02:05:22] being stuck in this. Yeah. All those suggestions, either any of those being taken, I would fully
[02:05:28] recommend this because that's really the only thing that kind of pulled me out of this is just
[02:05:34] the ending could have had a little bit more snap to it. Yeah. But as it is also partially
[02:05:40] recommended because I did enjoy the review. It was fun. I just feel like it needs a punchier ending.
[02:05:47] That's all. Fair. So I guess that will be two partial recommendations and one non-recommendation.
[02:05:55] We just some of us couldn't reconcile over others and there's there is potential here but like
[02:06:02] and again we're all like incredibly flattered by this. Sure. So here's the reveal.
[02:06:09] The author of the cottage is none other than ADR superfan Brownie. Oh hell yeah. And you may
[02:06:22] remember Brownie mentioned as the guy who fucking mailed me a creepy pasta artifact of the Pokemon
[02:06:31] black like creepy black game cartridge that's still that's actually playable and that me and
[02:06:37] gamer are still working on capturing video footage and stuff. We have started doing it. We have
[02:06:42] started it will go up eventually. T minus dot dot dot. Yeah. I'm trying to make that a little bit
[02:06:50] more. Yeah. We did make it. We did figure out some things about our rig. Oh yeah. It's like just
[02:07:00] move African console closer which would help a lot. Yeah. But yeah. So yeah this this story was
[02:07:07] written by Brownie and he asked me to hold off revealing who it was that did this until after
[02:07:15] the fact if I wanted to. And I assume as soon as like I started getting like stuff from you guys
[02:07:21] it's like well clearly this is from from from from review cultist. So I'm going to be super thorough
[02:07:26] and I was super thorough my grammar and precision and stuff like that. And I'm just like here and
[02:07:31] I'm here's here texting Brownie. It's like so we're doing the recording and they think it's me and
[02:07:36] they have a lot of stuff to do with the grammar position. And he just gave me like looking very
[02:07:43] smug over there in the in the in the states. So yeah he this this was amazing like this is this
[02:07:55] was awesome that we got a piece of fan fiction. And what was the other thing? Also this was edited
[02:08:04] by the story is also edited by somebody Jessica I think. Yeah. On the top it says yeah. Yeah it's
[02:08:13] edited by I'm not gonna say your last name but it's by edited by somebody that Brownie knew called
[02:08:19] Jessica. He apparently he lives in a part of the states where like they have a lot they actually do
[02:08:24] have maple syruping and stuff like that. So he actually like contacted somebody who was
[02:08:32] who has like maple syruping like like kind of background to get some of the nomenclature.
[02:08:37] So that's why like the couple was used in like how the like when they're talking about like the
[02:08:43] the spigot and stuff like that. Yeah and that's really that you did that because
[02:08:47] if you're writing something that you don't know people will know. Yeah. So if you don't know something
[02:08:53] find someone who does know something so then you can know that something. So yeah that absolutely
[02:08:57] right. Yeah. It's funny that you guys like both thought it was me like for a long time
[02:09:02] because it's on a PDF because he sent me a message like a few like days ago.
[02:09:07] It was like ah crap I left my name in the metadata of the PDF whoops.
[02:09:15] But I was like I'm sure they're not gonna look the metadata. I'm gonna add that to the list.
[02:09:23] All right I'll be more thorough to uh name on it. Yeah.
[02:09:30] No to note to my own self edit metadata. Damn.
[02:09:36] Because I can easily edit the metadata but like I'd already sent the email. I was like well I mean
[02:09:40] if they find out they find out but I doubt like I doubt they're gonna look that hard into the into
[02:09:45] the PDFs like metadata and like stuff like that. So I wasn't too concerned about you guys discovering
[02:09:52] it but yeah there you can see it right now. It's right there.
[02:10:04] Yeah. I will ask Brownie if I can leave a link in the description of this episode
[02:10:11] for this to be uh of like so people can actually read it themselves.
[02:10:16] Um but yeah I think uh like yeah the like just because I don't have to
[02:10:21] let's try everybody to read the whole story.
[02:10:25] And and that is true. And with that said also like um honestly Brownie if you know like take
[02:10:33] any of that we just read like for like like take it or leave it like anything that we've
[02:10:38] mentioned about the story like I think you could actually like write like you could add
[02:10:42] some things here or some add some things into the story to make it more creepy and more um
[02:10:48] like just more elaborate. But again I'm one like I think like I personally am like
[02:10:53] flabbergasted and flattered that you decide to write a creepy pasta or a fan fiction about
[02:11:00] authentic rigor mortis. So flattered gassed it. Yeah flattered gassed it. Yeah it's flattered
[02:11:07] and flabbergasted together. Yes. Um so yeah uh I think that or we we've created a word.
[02:11:21] So yeah I think that's where we're going to leave off then. Um so that has been this week's
[02:11:26] episode. If you like what you heard or if you didn't leave us a comment in the comment section
[02:11:30] below where this gets posted. Uh we're all on Twitter. Mikey is at the E stands for evil.
[02:11:36] The gamer now is at the gamer now but without that W at the end because it's very long.
[02:11:40] Yeah my name is way too long. Yeah and I'm at review cultist. You can also send us emails
[02:11:45] at al dente rigor mortis at gmail.com. That's A-L-D-E-N-T-E-R-I-G-A-M-R-T-I-S
[02:11:52] edgmail.com where you can also leave your suggestions for other creep busters,
[02:11:55] scps, fan fictions, fan art. We're still looking for those gamer and killer uh gamer the killer
[02:12:00] pieces of art. Uh regardless you creep it will peep it. Yeah.
[02:12:09] And if you'd like to help support our show financially you can be like brownie and become a
[02:12:14] patron on patreon. Select the back of you'd like to support us at and select the select the back
[02:12:20] of you'd like to support us at. We have five dollar and two dollar tiers with special episodes
[02:12:23] early access extra content to our patrons who are helping support the show. Thank you immensely.
[02:12:29] You're helping keep those hosting bills at bay and as always that's very much appreciated.
[02:12:35] And to all our listeners and the author of this story thank you because without your
[02:12:41] listenership it would be like screaming to the void and without fan fiction like guys this is
[02:12:47] like I think the second or I think this is the second piece of actual like ADR specific fan fiction
[02:12:53] we have gotten on the show. That is great. Um and I like without that without
[02:12:59] the stories that people write online and to scare people and get spooked by
[02:13:04] we really wouldn't have much of a show because we'd have nothing to talk about.
[02:13:07] Once again thank you brownie and thank you audience for all the years of spooky
[02:13:15] discussion that we have had on the show. Until next time I have been your host review cultist.
[02:13:20] I'm Mikey these dance people and I'm the gamer in yellow and this has been al dente rigamortis sleepwell.
[02:13:59] You
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