(D&D5e): Eberron: Ashat's Adventurers - Episode 17: Cleaning House

[00:00:03] During the Last War, when the Elves of Aranol annexed Valinar from Seir, the Ashat Ranch stood defiant in the Borderlands. At the end of the Last War, when the morning creeped across Seir, decimating all in its path, the Ashat Ranch stood defiant in the Borderlands.

[00:00:26] Now, five years after the Last War, Mama Abby of the Ashat Ranch stands defiant but hopeful, with plans for a future for wayward Seir and survivors. She'll need help in this new expansion. Help from friends and found family. Help from Ashats Adventurers.

[00:00:51] Welcome to One Less Die, a fifth edition D&D actual play podcast. We're playing Shots Adventures or The Ashats. We are down a few players from last session, but that's okay, they were interns anyway. You better hope they don't hear this.

[00:01:20] I'll hear the word of Josh. He'll listen to it. Yeah, Josh listens to everything. Hi Josh. Oh hi Josh! Well hi Josh. It's a shame Mark doesn't, so I can't do it. Oh hi Mark. Oh hi Mark. Anyway, yeah, we're continuing on with what we left off, which was you guys had found your way on the island of Banan. Banan? No Banan. Just Banan.

[00:01:44] And met some goblins that were there for an ancient relic, because one of their ancestors lived on the island and actually put an artifact that siphoned, or that attuned to the elemental plane of La Mania, where basically the twilight forest.

[00:02:07] So basically everything grows faster and hardier here, and even more monstrous, because the veil is weak between the material plane and La Mania. You guys, the Venus fly traps trying to eat our airship. Yep. Or the vine plants that were creating, that were covering bodies like zombies. And so you guys went through, after a small, after a brutal negotiation, like one sided negotiation, it's like this is my island.

[00:02:37] Here's my land deed that's totally legit now. You basically, all these goblins want is they want that artifact back for their archive and stuff like that. And then everything else is yours. And you were gracious enough to allow that. Rather than just, you know, merc them all. Which I totally could have. Yes. But the librarian is a goblin short stack librarian. Faye is a short stack.

[00:03:07] That is my weakness. Does that mean that at some point, by the end of the session, you're going to try and roll a charisma to try and like woo her? No. Okay. I am. You're a fucking bard. You've already like... He was doing that before he was a bard, you know that. You were basically like playing, you were basically like duetting with her in the last couple of episodes. Yeah, I was. We had some chemistry there for a moment. Yeah.

[00:03:35] And yeah, so you guys got through the jungle with some obstacles. A lot of monkey swarms. Swarms of tons of monkeys. The aforementioned plant zombies. And then you guys finally got to the sacred grove at the middle of the island where the ancient Akane keep was. And as you guys were using your...

[00:04:01] With the help of Faye and her goblin dirge singing, you guys were able to open the door to the ancient keep. But not before the master of the jungle, Runu Kong, which you will never know her name, but her name is Runu Kong. A giant white ape with two sets of arms, though missing one of the arms from years of hard battle and such.

[00:04:29] I'm sure her name is Cargill Rocky or something. Yeah, right, yeah. You know what? In fact, yeah, there's a boulder right next to the door. It has Runu Kong right there. But anyway, her and her servitor gorillas and the monkey swarms that just plagued this island. Really, they should have just called it Monkey Island. It's taken. Yeah.

[00:04:55] Went after you guys, but fortunately one of you guys has a mace, a Carnathi mace that induces terror. Hell yeah. And you sent most of them flying, except for Runu Kong. It really was. Oh, they were flying monkeys. Yeah. You were wanting me to unattune that. Yeah. How dare you? Now he'll never. No, never. He's wanting you to unattune it. But you have a lot of attuned magic items. Yeah.

[00:05:24] You guys fought and defeated Runu Kong. The queen is dead, long live the king. And now you guys sit at the precipice of the keep's open door itself. And that's where we start off. So let's introduce the people who are here, starting on my own. Dave. That's me. I'm Dave. I'm playing Copper. And also Rob, who is Copper's steel defender. I keep forgetting the metal that he is. And what is Copper? Copper is my steel defender.

[00:05:55] As I just said. Rob is. Sorry, I'm Copper. Yeah, they're. Copper is a warforged artificer, which is a mixture of an artificer and a wizard. He is ex-city guard at the city of Tranish. And currently trying to put a new town together so he can basically go back to what he used to be doing. Regardless of whether or not he has to do underhanded stuff to get there. Are we the baddies?

[00:06:24] We're currently the baddies until we can be the good guys, basically. And Rob is a St. Bernard-sized robotic dog that looks kind of like a mixture between dwarven and steampunk kind of tech. Yeah. And next to Dave? We got Ryan Kirklus, Ranger, Rogue, Renegade. That's not a class. Husband of a murdered wife. Wayward son of Andros.

[00:06:54] Bane of Constructs. Enemy of the Undead. And Slayer of so many hearts. So many. Okay. Hi, I'm Fintan. Who's played by Aaron. Polaris. And I am not a spell caster. Chuck. I mean, I am. I am a warlock and a paladin and a bard. Which are all spell casters. Paladardoc. Yeah.

[00:07:24] Mm-hmm. But you have no arcane skills. That honestly sounds like a Dragon Ball Z villain. Because Bardock. Or Dardoc. Or a Power Rangers villain. Or a monster. Yeah. I am a not human. I'm a Clashtar. But I don't know that I'm a Clashtar. I think I'm a human. You're getting there. I'm getting there. I'm starting to see hints. Um. Um. Um. I have a donkey. Name's Donke. Yeah. Uh.

[00:07:54] That we never use. I used to look like Zorro, but not anymore. He used to look like a purple Zorro. What do you wear now? Navy blue. Navy blue Zorro, yes. What do you wear now? I wear a breastplate. That's it? Just no pants? Yeah. No pants. It's like, my charisma is so high, it doesn't matter. Now you're just, so now that you're hit, my head is just... Everyone stands in awe. It's a little eyes and eyes freaking bad. Where he's got the shirt on and just the underwear.

[00:08:23] He's just doing the Donald Duck thing. He's just Donald Ducking it. Yeah. Yeah. Where do you draw his character now? Nah, he, well he used to be the Darkwing Duck. Now it's just Donald Duck. Yeah. Oh God. I did kind of look like Darkwing Duck. Yep. Damn it. If only there was a... I know there's actually a couple of other RPGs that actually have duck races.

[00:08:53] But if only D&D had like a pure duck race like that. And also, granted, like, yes you have a breastplate, but that doesn't mean like you can't have the rest of your stuff on underneath it basically. Like you have normal clothes under it. No, but a breastplate has other bits to it. Like it has chain mail and leather tied into it as well. Mm-hmm. So like you've got like leather bracers and, and chain mail, uh, light chain mail sleeves and, uh, so you really wouldn't be able to see much of what's under it. You can wear a cloak over it or something though.

[00:09:22] I do have a cloak over it. Yeah, that you toss aside to show your... No, no. Well yeah, it's a cloak of the manta ray though, so I can breathe underwater because eventually we'll have a water level. Yeah, there always is. There always is. And they're all in the ass. This will make it much less so. Mm-hmm. Um, but yeah, yeah, I uh, oh, and I wear a gun belt. Yes. But it's empty. Yes, because you guys are starting to collect some guns. Two. Well, not me. Yeah, so far. You got one.

[00:09:53] Oh, I know. Yeah, but it's not for, it's actually not for, well you, isn't it also for something else? It's for your... I don't have a gun. Yeah. You have a dragon shard. I have a dragon shard that I summon a gun around. Right, yes. Yes. Where'd you get that dragon shard? Off a busted gun. Off a busted gun. Okay, but we still have two functional guns, right? Yes. I have one, where's the other one? I have it. You have it? I have one bullet of constructs laying. Oh, you don't have any of the normal ammo?

[00:10:22] I have the rest of the mag of normal ammo. Yeah. Well, they're not mag, it's like, they're... Yeah. We have a total of 36. I can literally shoot infinite ammo out of mine because I'm an artificer. So if you want to have 30 of them, of the normal ammo, and I'll have six just as backups. Alright, sure. There you go. Okay. As long as I have the bullet of constructs laying. Yeah, I guess you could keep that for now. I really like the bullet of constructs laying. I like it too. I would like to have it for my own personal safety as the only construct here.

[00:10:53] So that's fine. I like you. I kill you last. Oh, that's good. Give it to the dog. Wait, he lied in that movie. Eh, make us happy to see that. Yeah, and everybody else, we had a black dragon born barbarian. Well, he was a black dragon born a white dragon. No one knows that he was a white dragon before. He was a black dragon. For all intents and purposes, he was a black dragon born barbarian. I think we should call him Poe.

[00:11:22] And then we had Sarah... No, not Sarah. Bella Twilo. He turned into the archfey warlock. She had magic this whole time. Yeah. Well, not really the whole time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole time I've known her. I think yes, I think yes, the whole time. Yeah. And then we also had a goblin rogue. Murderer. Named... Crim. Crim, yes.

[00:11:52] Crim anal. Yes. Crim... Crim anal. Yeah, no, but we mispronounce things in this game. Crim anal. Yes. That was not a good guy. So you guys are all in front of the... And with the small group of goblins that were... That you guys kind of press ganged into coming with you through the jungle and such. They were just gonna stay on the beach and you're like, no, no, no. You're coming with us. In front of us. We need somebody to check for traps. Yeah. But as you guys are sitting at the precipice of this doorway...

[00:12:22] That's actually when we get... Shit. Of this doorway to this keep. That's when you guys hear like a bunch of howling monkey cries from the other side of the clear of the Glen. And that's when Faye, the goblin archivist, is like, we should hurry. We need to find the horn of Musa and get out of here or figure it out.

[00:12:51] And the barbarian is like, don't worry guys. I'll take care of the monkey swarms. He goes out there and then Bella's like, I guess I'll follow him too. And Crim just like, yeah, I'll go help them out too. And so they're gonna stay outside and defend against the monkey swarms that are coming in from the jungles. And retaliating against the killer, the slayers of their queen. While you guys can go inside the keep and deal with that.

[00:13:18] They're doing the survival mission while we are the fellow Tenno doing like a spy mission in the background while there being distractions. Okay, sure. That's technically what happens in the survival missions in Warframe. So here's a map of the keep. Yeah, there's a map of the keep. Where's door? Is that door? No, that's door. And basically I kind of use the horizontal lines and use vertical lines to create a grid.

[00:13:45] So each square inside that keep is five feet. Why is our map shaped like a snowman? Because it's a piece of paper. I actually love this piece of paper. I mostly wanted to let the people at home know that the piece of paper this map is on is shaped like a snowman. I'm using a snowman shaped memo pad. So the door is down here at the bottom? Yeah. Okay.

[00:14:16] And what are those? Those scraggly things are those little bushy looking things. Are we in there yet to even see these? Yeah, as you walk in, being victorious over a rune Kong and going in there and such. But no torches or magical lights illuminate this small keep, though sunlight pours through the cracks in the ceiling where the second story once stood, basking the entire chamber in dim light. Four potted banana trees lined the walls.

[00:14:47] Kept alive by the power of the twilight forest. A stone stairway, or a stone stairwell once connected to the upper and lower floors, but now the stairs only descend to another lower level. Oh God, stairs in the forest. So, yeah. If only it was just the stairs and no building here. We can arrange that. That's true.

[00:15:11] Before we continue on, would you guys be okay if we took, you know, just a brief reprieve in here? I'd appreciate it. Maybe just chill for an hour, take a breath, maybe heal up a little bit. Laugh at our friends being murdered by monkeys. I do believe there's some guys outside dying. Yeah, yeah. You hear, Not the guy, not the monsters, not the monkeys who want my dad! This is okay. They'll be fine. They're NPCs right now.

[00:15:42] I will say, as you guys walked in and said that, there is that sweet aroma of banana hanging across, hanging all over this foyer area. And aside from like, the kind of, the state of this structure, like there was a second floor and it's no longer there. It seems collapsed. For the most part, otherwise, it is in surprisingly pristine condition. Like this ground floor. That's a little weird.

[00:16:11] Did it just collapse over age or do we not know that? It looks like it might have just collapsed over age, though. Because like the Dekani, which is pretty fantastic because this is, if this is a keep from the Dekani age, that's like 10,000 years ago. Mm-hmm. So it's pretty impressive that this goblin structure survived this long. Union construction working. Union construction. Mm-hmm.

[00:16:32] I mean, even if you go to like the country of Dargoon, where like the goblin nation is, like you see giant ancient megalithic statues of the Dekani like empire. So like they built them last. Yeah. So there, yeah, there's just like the sweet aroma of bananas and an otherwise pretty nice, clear, clean looking foyer area or foyer space.

[00:17:00] Okay, so are we actually gonna take an hour? Are we actually- Watch your friends like, aww! Are we actually taking a break? Uh, yes. I think you're gonna press on. Can I- I'm out of smite. Well, here's the thing. If we wait that hour, about 15 minutes from now, our friends are gonna die and then we're gonna have to deal with the monkey swarms ourselves. No, we won't. He has that- that mace. Three charges. Two charges now actually. Yeah, two charges left.

[00:17:30] It only lasts for a minute. Each fear. Well, there's a door! We can close it! Can we? Are you gonna close it with your friends on the outside? I'm just gonna- I'm just gonna go. It just closes like slides and quip. Are you going to do that? I really think the best thing to do without metagaming is press on. I have some spells left, just not as many as I would like.

[00:17:59] Um, Aaron, hang up, hang up, hang up. Uh, you have, uh, you, you, uh, you copper saw, um, uh, Fintan consume one of those bananas, correct? Yes. Roll a, um, roll an arcana check. Okay. Uh, yeah. Okay. 21? 21? Yeah. Okay, okay.

[00:18:29] Um, those bananas- The bananas on this island definitely don't seem to be just mundane bananas. They appear to even have a glow to them. Uh, in fact, when you, when he consumed them, he actually felt better. So maybe they have, um, like, some kind of, like, more restorative, like, um- I hate one. It acted as a healing potion and a good beer. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And considering I am injured as well, and we're wanting to press on and there's bananas right there,

[00:18:57] I would probably attempt to- I guess you can have one of my bananas. Here, imagine if your face off. If the bananas he found out in the wild are, are, uh, uh, or, like, effectively, like, good berries or, like, restorative for health, what do these other- what do the bananas that are right here on- in this room have? That's a very good question. I'm gonna use my bullwhip and rip another bunch down and I'm gonna eat one. Okay. Do they look the same? Um, they do. Yeah, they- They glow blue instead of red. They slowly transform into a monkey before our eyes. Yeah.

[00:19:27] Uh, no, they actually seem to be, um, yeah, they seem to be in pretty decent, uh, conditions. They're, like, kind of like, um, they're a little riper looking, but, like, so they have to give off, like, a yellow-green kind of look to them, but otherwise, like, they look to be pretty in pretty decent conditions. There are a couple that look like they're maybe past their prime, but, um. Mm. All right. Well, I'm gonna eat one. Okay, so you manage to grab one or two- one or two that are- that look good, uh, from it. Um, and, uh, you take a bite?

[00:19:57] Yes. Okay. Uh, how many, uh, smits do you usually have? I get two, um, third-level spell slots from being a warlock, and three first-level spell slots from being paladin and bard. Okay. Have your choices. Okay. There you go. There. Fixed the problem.

[00:20:27] Yep. I got it. I got it. You said I had a second one of those bananas? Uh, ten to be yes. Okay. Yeah, because you pulled one down from me. Do you want to eat it now? Yeah, yeah, you were giving it to him. Where- are there more bananas? Honestly, you look- you look up- both- all of you guys look up at the other degrees. Mm-hmm. Those two bananas are the only ones that look like they are- are edible. The other ones look pretty brown or purple. I'm a pack of rips looking. Okay. What's purple? Hmm? The bananas? It's a color that's between red and blue.

[00:21:01] You ass! Know how I feel now? Is purple unripe? They're not ripe yet? Or is it past ripe? It's- it's past ripe. We're not gonna wait for them to ripen, asshole. I was thinking to grab some to save for a future adventure! This is my island, we can come back here anytime! Yeah, that's a good point. I think we should take one of these trees for this. Take it up!

[00:21:31] Just put it in the bag of hot water. Where are you guys in position on the- on the back? I'm assuming we just walked in. So you guys are still just in that first one. Oh my god. We'll get a dedicated bag of holding, keep it in there, and like, once a day for 12 hours, I will stick my sun sword inside to give it sunlight. God. Also, Caster's living in my bag, he can just like tend to it, like we can put some- get some sunlight in there. Trees.

[00:21:57] Yeah, like get some- put a bunch of dirt in there, he can actually like, grow the trees in there. Is that coming back or what? No, probably not. He actually did ask about coming back a few weeks ago, but it was a week that we weren't playing in person. No, of course. Is it is? Either way, how many spoles slots do I get back? Um, you actually- you didn't consume one? Yeah, because I'm injured. The last one? The last of the ripe bananas? Mm-hmm. Or the slightly unripe bananas? You can have it, I'm totally fine.

[00:22:26] You get two back. Okay. You only have two spell slots and you rarely use them. Two of my choosing? Yep. That shit is bananas. It is. T-A-N-A-N-A-S. It tastes more like a plantain, but it was still pretty good.

[00:22:57] Feel the power of Smitey return. Krim! No! In the background. I'll avenge you! You'll be fine. Yes. Uh, yeah. Krim! No! Uh, what was Mark's character's name? Kabal. Kabal, why did you kill him? He stole my wallet! Again! In the middle of combat.

[00:23:27] Goddammit! Goddammit! Uh, okay, so, um, as you guys are- Are you guys going to push forward then through this room? Yes. Okay. Uh, I need people to roll me in perception test. Hell yeah! Um, yeah. Great. Six! Cool. I perceive nothing. Yeah. My eyes turned off. Modify.

[00:23:57] Modify? Yeah. 17. 17? 17, sorry. Okay. Uh, this is primarily for, um, the rogue, uh, the rogue rangers since they are probably looking for traps. You, rogue rangers. Um, you stop copper, um, because you see that, like, the middle, uh, one of those of the middle, um, squares. So it's kind of like tiled.

[00:24:25] One of the middle tiles in this room that he's about to step on, uh, is slightly elevated than it should be. And you recognize that as the telltale sign of a, uh, pressure blade trap. Yeah. Yeah. It's a slightly lighter color to, it just, it just stands out. To your, to your elven roguish eyes. It stands out. Just like in video games. Yeah. Or just because you're colorblind. Or just because you're colorblind. The texture's slightly different, yeah. That's actually the, the true secret between, behind rogues. They're all colorblind. So they can, they can see the, the differences in colorations and stuff.

[00:24:55] Okay. Yeah, um, you see that, yeah, there's a plate, uh, pressure plate in the middle of the room that copper's about to step on. Don't step there. Walk around. Okay. I'll do that. Okay. I guess keep an eye out for more traps. Mm-hmm. You wanna take the lead on this? Yes. I'll take point and find all the traps. Okay. Or at least set them off. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'll go second, and he can take it up the rear. Wait.

[00:25:27] I'm defending the rear. I'm protecting your rears with my rear. Okay. Acceptable. Mm-hmm. Should I roll for finding more traps? Yeah, you can roll it. Yeah. Nineteen. Nineteen? Yeah, you, uh, look around for, like, any of the other, any other pressure plates. It seems like the middle one, which is, like, basically the most direct route to the stairwell on the other side of the room, um, is the only plate that seems to have a pressure plate

[00:25:55] to it, and you can easily, like, put a wedge on it to, like, basically stop it from going off if you wanted to. Or just ignore that space entirely. Yeah, let's just sort of flag that. Yeah. And keep going. Unfortunately, when you put a flag on the right side of the right side of the right plate, activate that. No! No. Uh, okay, so yeah, you walk around the, uh, pressure plate. Um, and, uh, certainly. Actually, I could put a marker on that, like, cause I can make, using magical tinkering,

[00:26:23] a thing I never use, I can grab a little pebble and just make it a bright light, and just put it right beside it. Okay. Do that. Does that consume a spell plot? No, I can just do them. It's like a cantrip frame. Yeah. I used magical tinkering for something. It's kind of useless honestly. It's not. It's like prestidigitation. Yeah. You just have to be clever enough to use it correctly. Mmhmm. Um, okay, so, so that's what you do, you mark that plate so no one will hopefully step on that. Yes. Four tiny rocks, one in each corner. Yep.

[00:26:53] Uh, and you are, you guys are progressing over to the stairwell and going down? Yep. Okay. I continue to lead. Yep. With my dark vision. Mmhmm. And high passive perception. Okay. I'm gathering a handful of more rocks in case I need to mark more traps. Oh, hi. I'm creeping forward with my arrow knocked, ready to go. Oh, that's fair. Want me to roll something? Yeah, go ahead. Oops. By the way, how much did the banana heal health-wise or did it? Ah, crap. It didn't heal any health. Okay, then I'm going to swig a potion.

[00:27:23] Oh, no, carry. I have one of these bananas. Oh, okay, thank you. The golden bananas. Om nom nom. How much did they do? What'd you get there? That was a one. It was a one? I think they were two die four. It was two die six. Yeah, hang on. I can pull it up. Were there any traps going down the stairs? There were no traps that you were aware of. Yeah. I don't like how you say it that way. Actually, there's no traps there. There's some weird markings.

[00:27:50] Like, there's some strange writings or symbols all over the walls as you're going down, but you can't make heads or tails of it. Hmm. It's definitely like, yeah, you're not even sure how old those markings are and stuff. This sounds like not my problem. That's going to be a goblin thing after we finish this. Oh yeah, where's our short stack? Outside. Yeah, she's outside. Dying. Why is she wet came in with us? Okay. It's 2d6 plus one. Okay. You can recover. Cool. I will do that.

[00:28:22] Not that great. That's 6. Mm-hmm. Plus one of each or total? No, well, 2d6 plus one. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay, so you're descending down the stairs. You're seeing all this, like, kind of strange markings on the walls. Uh, I already read that part. Um, so, this small room is lit by a single source, a glowing horn held aloft by a hobgoblin warrior in Dakani livery.

[00:28:48] Uh, in, uh, in her other hand she holds a chained flail. Uh, the instrument resembles a peeled banana wrought from gold. Uh, the guard, no, uh, and, um, the, uh, you, at first you're like, oh god, that's, like, some, uh, some kind of a, like a hobgoblin there. Then you realize it's just a very lifelike statuary of a hobgoblin warrior.

[00:29:16] Holding this, this golden banana horn. And holding a flail. A banana flail? Yes. And holding a flail. Oh, I thought the flail looked like a banana too. No, no, it's just the, uh, just the horn. So it's not banana chicks. Yeah. Damn it. Um, and, uh, yeah, um, uh, this appears to be Moose's ancient treasure. The, uh, the appeal, or the Moose's horn that the, uh, the goblins, uh, up on the surface

[00:29:46] were looking for on the side. So. All right. This seems too easy. Uh, there are also, like, the Connie, like, this build, this chamber looks like, uh, for any of you who are, have any kind of England history, ancient histories of Corvair. I.e. have a history check. I am trained in history. Roll a history. Yeah, you're not trained in religion. I know, right? Or performance. I know, right? It's so weird.

[00:30:23] Oh! Yes. That 20? Yes. Okay. Um, yeah, so the chamber around you is definitely of the, of ancient Takani build. Like, the columns and, like, the, the, uh, the, uh, the statuary and, like, the, the, the reliefs, the ball reliefs and such. And, um, all, you've seen them on ancient Takani ruins in Darboon. Um, and, like, when you guys were venturing around, um, in, uh, uh, in the, the goblin capital

[00:30:52] city, you saw, like, very ancient, like, structures similar to it. And even on the way to, um, White Quarry. Or, uh, sorry, uh, Rose Quarry. Uh, when you guys were traveling along the, uh, the countryside, you were seeing ancient statuary that resembled this kind of architecture. What is strange about this room is that that is the base of this room. Over top of that is this strange resin-like material that has kind of grown over that

[00:31:21] and created these, uh, turned the, turned a lot of the, the cob goblins statuary, like, lining the walls in ball relief into these grotesque, um, octopoidal shapes. And, um, even, uh, some, they turned the, the goblinoid faces more simian and more, like, ape-like. Um, like, long-gated snouts and such. And there's, like, tentacles kind of growing out, like, roots and, like, vines kind of forming, um,

[00:31:50] like, almost, like, tentacle-like, uh, appendages off the, uh, the arms of these statuaries that you see lining the walls. Um, uh, the only, in fact, the only statue that appears untouched is the one that is currently holding this glowing banana horn in that flame, in the center of the room. Hmm. So. Okay, well, I will reiterate that to these guys. We'll have quick story time. Story time. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um.

[00:32:18] Oh, right, you're good at identifying stuff. Like, detect magic and such? No, like, actually, identify. Oh, I, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like, items, yeah. Do you want, do you want to take the time to identify the horn in that flame? I would have to take it out of your hands, wouldn't I? I don't think so. I think you just have to be close to it and focus on it for long enough. Oh, okay. Uh, ten minutes for ritual or use spills a lot? Are you in a rush? I'm not in a rush. Because you're walking up to the statue.

[00:32:48] Give me one second. Great. Hey, Shortstack. How are things going up there? Um, pretty okay. Um, man, that black dragonborn can take a, can take a, uh, take a whooping. Um, we're, uh, we're just a pounding. We can just take a, take a nasty pounding from all those monkey swarms. Um, Krim, Krim took a, took a nasty hit, actually fall, but we got him back up. Um, we're, we're currently kind of, um, kiting some of the monkey swarms around the keep.

[00:33:16] Uh, what, um, don't touch that! Pfft, you hear an explosion. You guys feel like a tremor is underneath. Damn it, Bella, why did you cast fire, a catfire again? Um, yeah, so, uh, yeah, what have you, what have you found? Uh, well, we found some traps, we found some stairs, um, we found some stuff that we need to try to, uh, identify, um, which is gonna take us a little bit of time.

[00:33:46] I just wanted to make sure you guys were all still alive up there and surviving okay. Uh, for, for the time being, you hear us like, I would like to rage! Why haven't you been raging? I'll keep checking back with you. Just, just stay safe. Stay safe, short stack. We gotta keep that voice in tune. Are you about to say sweetheart? No, I, I meant to say short stack. Um, we gotta keep that voice in tune. Uh, thanks! Okay, Dan, out.

[00:34:17] Meanwhile, I was like, how is he talking to me? I was gonna say, is she not weirded out by this? Yeah. Well, I am telepathic. Do we have, did we determine that we were gonna use the, uh, the Bluetooth, uh, headsets? The Red Fang. Yeah. Oh, right! I forgot we had fangs. The Red Fang earrings? Where they were, yeah. I don't have ears. Yeah, you just, you can, you can, you can... Artificer it, it didn't working, it's fine. You can take her to work. Yeah, okay. Regardless. So...

[00:34:44] It's an antenna, puts it on top of the antenna, it's a little more. Oh my god, you're just gonna, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But either way, so... Can you then flip down, you like target with it? Yes! It's a scotoo. Over 9,000! Either way, 10 minutes or 1 minute? 10 minutes. Okay. Don't use your spell slots. Okay. Fair enough. But you're getting up close to the statue. Yes. Um, alright, so you, you get up to the statue, um... Cautiously shield forward.

[00:35:14] Yeah. I don't trust anything anymore. That, that's fair. Um, roll a reflex. Great! Crim has been eaten. Badly. Rolled 2 12s. It happens! I used my token. It's fine. Um, reflex? Highly empowered. Yep. Uh, what's your AC? Uh... With the shield up? 19? 19?

[00:35:44] Okay. This is a surprise attack. Okay, cool. Um, so that's 14 on the roll? Yep. Technically this probably should have been like a perception test and like note that something was about to attack you, but... Well, shouldn't I have gone against our passive perception? I never, I hate that rule. Honestly, I can't stand it. Like, I like you guys actually rolling. I understand. Yeah.

[00:36:11] The purpose of it being there is so that we can't metagame. Yeah. Right. And know that there's something to see that we missed. Yeah, fair. Alright. Uh, okay. Um, sorry, what were we hearing you see again? 19. 19? Okay, this definitely hits you. Mm-hmm. And I am so sorry. Mm-hmm. Uh, has, uh, that flail hits real hard, uh, as it just comes right at you. Uh, inflicting...

[00:36:42] So you, yeah. You've... What was that, uh, that was a 14 on your, uh, reflex? Uh, yes. Yeah, that's not good enough. Mm-hmm. Uh, that's gonna be a total of, um, 20 damage. Shield. It gives me plus five. Does that count? Enough? No. It gives me plus five to my AC. That's not enough. That's not enough? No. How high did it roll?

[00:37:11] You'll find out in a sec. Oh, okay. Fair enough. Yeah. The stone hand that was wielding the, uh, the, um, holding the, uh, the flail shatters, revealing a scaled, uh, a scaled claw holding the mace that is now on fire. And it just, or basically, or like, hold, looks like it's like smoldering. Mm-hmm. And it just whacks you over the head. Ow. Wait, is it a mace or is it a flail? Uh, it's a flail.

[00:37:41] Sorry, yes. Okay. Yeah. So it has a chain on it. Yeah. And you just hear this like horrible, like, whew. I like that nice blend from like monkey into like a human laugh. Um, as, um, the, the, uh, as you guys are, uh, looking on at, uh, I actually roll, I guess, I guess they rolling, um, actually I guess no roll required. You go flying. Yeah. That's fair. Yeah.

[00:38:09] Um, as, uh, the statue of this hobgoblin warrior, um, still holding the, uh, the, the, the horn in one hand immediately shatters to reveal a large, um, a large demonic form. Uh, it's humanoid, um, kind of saurian, kind of like lizard-like or like, or, uh, kind of like one of those, uh, lizards from the, uh, the Talenta plains.

[00:38:36] Um, but its head is that of a baboon or like one of those apes that you guys have been seeing in the, uh, from the, uh, from the, uh, from the, from outside. Mm-hmm. And the, the, the, the one hand is this horrible red, like scaled claw. But the other hand that's holding, the other arm that's holding the, uh, the horn is a series of tentacles.

[00:38:57] And, uh, that's when you see it's like, behold, I am potassium, servitor of the demogorgon. Potassium? Yes. And with water. The cancer of endless water. Ah! Potassium. I know, but it's not that. That's not the case of this. Uh, this is actually in the original material for the name. Is it? That's awesome.

[00:39:25] If you haven't, uh, if you guys haven't figured it out yet, this entire scenario is banana pods. No, no way. Yeah. I hate that shit, it's bananas. I know. Uh, so yeah, uh, you're facing off against, um, a server of the demogorgon. Um, uh, a, a, a devil. Um, name, uh, that's kind of like a lesser version of him, but still pretty fucking terrifying. Like he's radiating evil off of him. Mm-hmm.

[00:39:54] Um, and, uh, he's keeping the one, he's keeping the horn in one hand and he's got the flail in the other and he like his, his kind of baboon, large baboon face is just kind of chomping at the bit. So he's a fiend? Yes. How much damage? Let me even say that he is a, from the pits. Oh, fucking fantastic. Oh no. How much damage did he do to me? Sorry. That is fin-tastic. How much damage did he do to me again? 20. Ow. That's a lot of damage.

[00:40:24] So, can we do sixes? Well, yeah. As you're fighting Potassiam. His name is, it's P-O dash T-A-M and then space Siam. It should be Potassimian. Potassimian. Yeah, actually I like that. Yeah. His name is Potassimian. Potassimian.

[00:40:53] I'm gonna stop rolling that way. I am going first. Are you down? Yes. Unless somebody has a better dex then. We probably... 17 on mine. 17 is Bob. Okay. What's your dex? Yours is higher, you're a ranger. Yeah. 19. I go third. Okay. And Potassimian goes... 19? She's a pit fiend as lichens.

[00:41:24] A pit fiend? You're fighting a bad word. Okay. You shall not pass. I'm not doing too good either. No, this is gonna be bad. I'm gonna start chugging potions in a minute. It's gonna be real bad. Mm-hmm. Real, real bad. He also got 17. That is hilarious. What's his dex though? Hang on, hang on.

[00:41:54] His dex is I think 14? Yeah. His dex is only 14. Okay, so top of the round. Fintan. Okay. How far away is it? So, this room is basically like double the ground level. Oh yeah, we're on the second floor now? Yeah, you're on the bottom. We went down, yeah. Yeah, so it's basically like another like basically that middle, that center square basically

[00:42:24] at like double that. I probably would have approached pretty close to him. Yeah. So, is it within 30 feet? Oh yeah. Excellent. Yeah, you guys are, this whole room is probably like 40 or 50 feet in length and like maybe, I'm probably about 60 feet in length and about 40 feet across. Okay. I got knocked back to the wall though, right? Okay. As a bonus action, I am going to cast Healing Word. Okay. I appreciate that.

[00:42:56] You get four hit points back. I'll take it. Sorry, I rolled a one. That's okay. These things happen. Okay. Okay. Then where's the DMG? Cause I need to know. Well, I need to know. Actually, Fintan, you do know as a paladin.

[00:43:20] Yes, this is clearly some kind of a fiend from the pits, but based on its exterior appearance, slightly from the abyss, because as it does seem to serve, it is personifying like and seems to serve the Demogorgon, which is a demon prince from the abyss. Okay. Can you look up what a moderate healing potion does?

[00:43:50] Yeah. I wrote down what the light ones do, but not the moderates. Sure. Doesn't the player's end, right? Sure. Thank you, sir. Okay. Okay. Well... That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. Where's them Pushtions? Question. Yes.

[00:44:17] Can my Sunblade be wielded as a finesse weapon, or is it a strength weapon? It's probably been a finesse weapon. I would imagine finesse. I would imagine. It's a rapier. Yeah, it's listed as a longsword. But it has no weight. Yeah. So I would allow for finesse. You'd allow it to be finesse? Yeah. Okay. You're gonna need some... It's an extra one point of damage. Okay. Yeah. Alright.

[00:44:46] Well, then I'm going to move in close. Okay. And I'm going to pull out the Sunblade and I'm going to attack. Okay. Eventually. Eventually. I'm going to hold up my hand like I'm praying to a god and then draw the blade and come in for a strike with a 17 plus 6.

[00:45:18] 23? That would hit. Actually, it's probably... Yeah, it's way more than a 26. Or a 23. It's a 25? Yeah, 25. Okay. Yeah, that would. Okay. Yeah, that would. Well. You're going to say, he does like his... How would you like do this? He's immediately dead. He's dead. 7 plus 5 is 12. Hmm? And I'm going to expend a spell slot. Yeah. And I'm going to smite. Yeah.

[00:45:48] Okay. So that's... Wait, I see a second for smite. Where did I put it? 17. 17. What kind of damage type is this going to be? Radiant. It's all radiant. Because the Sunblade does radiant and my smite does radiant unless I go the Eldritch route. Okay. I think that should be super effective.

[00:46:19] The smite is. It's actually more effective against fiends and undead. Paladin. Line smite. Nah, we're just going to gangbang this thing. This will be hilarious. We'll see. Okay, so that's... He's got a lot of multi-attacks. 2, 3, 4... That might be a problem. 5. Additional die 8.

[00:46:48] Is this not in here under potions? I'm just going to do one a little quicker. If you're there, it shouldn't be any... I didn't see a single potion. 38. 38 damage? 38 damage total. And it's radiant. And it's radiant. Okay. We'll need a... I do have a back bookmark. That's just...

[00:47:18] You should have some more snowman papers if you need them as bookmarks. I actually use a pack for this. Okay, and I get another shot. Dee-doo-doo. Ease was spent.

[00:47:49] Okay. Alright. Let's try again. So, how was everyone's day? Pretty good. Long. I got slapped across the room. And it happened again when I got here for D&D. It was weird. It's just... Alright, dad's drinking again, eh? Yeah. I certify that that is in fact a 20. Okay.

[00:48:19] Okay. Well, I wasn't going to use my other third level spell slot for smiting, but I guess I am now. Because that will take me to... Could you imagine if I had not let him, like, rest? Do a short rest for this? Mm-hmm. That'll allow me 12 die-8s of damage. Did you say 12 die-8s? Yes, I did. You might have fucked up. Jesus Christ.

[00:48:50] What kind of... What kind of, um... All radiant. He is a paladin against the D. It is, like, literally his job. Yeah. It's okay, I'm still going to make the killsteel. 6... 12... As long as I can stand up before this is over, I'll be happy. I'm also actually not that concerned, because I know what this creature's hate points are. 20. And it's not insubstantial.

[00:49:16] Also, by the way, the potions I wrote down is light potions and moderate potions. Meanwhile, apparently it's healing potions, greater healing, and superior healing and such. So I'm assuming moderate is just greater healing potions, which is the second tier. That must have been the most changes between, like, our previous editions. Yeah. That's a lot of fucking dice. Did we ever play Shatterrun over there?

[00:49:41] So when we were playing D20 Modern, like, years ago, I think one of our players hugged a bat monster from another dimension before, when he got to that creature's dimension. And he had C4 strapped to his body. And he set it all off. We then proceeded to gather up all the D6s we could, and we still didn't have enough because he had to roll 106 D6s. 106 D6 bandages. Okay.

[00:50:10] So with my first attack, I clipped him in the knee to bring him down to my level a little bit. And then I uppercutted with the blade straight to the face. And I dealt on the second shot a total of 51 damage. Okay. Okay. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's fine. You dealt over 70 damage to him in one round of combat. Yeah. And healed your ally. But, you know, that's not bad. Yeah.

[00:50:38] You didn't kill me in one round. I'll say this. Easily. I'll say this to make it scare you. He's still not over 200 HP. He's still not under? He's still not under 200 HP. Oh, okay. Oh, because I just blew my load, guys. So you just like... You smite him, it's like... And then he's like... It's been a long time since I've taken a weapon from a paladin. Wait.

[00:51:08] You're not a... I'm complicated. Fortunately, I am very simple. So, um... Yeah, next up is gonna be... Who... Which one of us was... What was your... What's your dex amount? 19. 19? You go first. What's yours? 2?

[00:51:38] No, what's your score? 2. Your score. It's... What's that? What was that? 14, yeah. Okay, shit. Um... Just... Rock... Scissors. Lizard. Spock. So you keep him, and then the... Then the pit fiend from the abyss. Okay. Potat Seal. Or Potat Simeon. Simeon.

[00:52:06] Okay, so I'm gonna use my bonus action to declare him as my quarry. Okay. Cast Hunter's Mark. I shall use a free action to speak the words to my oath bow, and designate him my enemy. Okay. And then I shall roll an attack at advantage, as a result. Yep. Are you doing sharpshooter? No. Crit. Okay. Confirmed. Yep. I like how I'm just like taking it as a... Confirmed? You could've just been like... Yeah, there were two ones.

[00:52:35] I'm like, yeah, confirmed. It was a crit. It was a crit fail. It was a crit. Crit it is, sir. Crit it is. 15, 16, 23. So, Dave, I think I have his attention now. Uh-huh. So you can take the time to heal if you want. I'm planning on it. Okay. Because I'm half dead right now. 23, 29, 36. So double the damage. Yeah.

[00:53:05] Double the dice. Yeah, double the dice. That's 72. Okay. Uh, plus four. 76 damage. What kind of arrow is it? It is a... Is it the arrow? Uh, it's a silver arrow. Okay. I have 10 of them. Then... Okay. So how much damage? 72. 72? Jesus Christ!

[00:53:34] He, uh, he's like, yeah, he's like, like, mumbling over like what the hell, like, this thing is. Fuck yeah, 1970s. And then it's like, like, tfff, it's like, ow! Where did the arrow hit him? In the side. And just like, tfff, ow! Just, and so slowly, like, just Bruce Willis turned to you, he was like, you shot me! You shot me right in the arm! Why would you, pfff! Uh, so that's your turn. That's my turn.

[00:54:04] So that's your turn. That's my turn. I mean, we are kind of the one-hit wonders. Yeah. Alright, we can go. Uh... No, no, I can do that every turn. I'm gonna drink a potion! Rob, Rob, Rob, Rob's there, he's like, only as long as you're a hunter. Well, no. Rob didn't get punched across the room, I did. I assume Rob would bring him. Well, and it was also a crit. Yeah? Um... Do you want Rob run over here? I guess, realistically, he probably would chase me down, or he would... He would be idiot! Because I used my bonus action to give him some healing. Yeah.

[00:54:36] I'll let you decide, Chris. Do you want Rob to run, to follow me, or would he be mad at what just slapped me? And stay. Um, he'd probably run over to you. Okay, fine. Either way, um... Loyalty protocol is engaged. Yep. That's fair. Okay, so I'm hurting a little bit. I'm gonna save some magic and use one of my potions of greater healing, which is 44 plus... 150 damage in one turn.

[00:55:04] It's only a bonus action to consume a potion. Oh, really? Yeah. Cool. I'll take that. Or at least that's the way Critical Role does it, so I assume that's the way it is. Because they're never wrong. They're rarely wrong, but they are wrong on occasion. That is almost the best I could have. And Matt does have a few house rules. Yeah. So that's 16 back, which I will happily take. And if that's a bonus action, I can still get up and such.

[00:55:34] Yeah. Sorry. So yeah, then use my movement action to get up. I'll... That was my bonus action, right? It takes half of your movement to get up. Okay, and I'm like 50 feet away? Yeah. Okay, so half the movement to get up, half the movement to get 15 feet into the room, and... Wait, no, no.

[00:56:04] So like, the room wide... He like tossed you to the side, and the room is only like 40 feet wide. Oh, the whole room. Yeah, the whole room like... It did knock me back 50 feet. No, it didn't knock you 50 feet. He knocked you to the side. Okay. Okay. So you land on the wall like, probably like 10 feet away, or like 20 feet away. Yeah. Okay. Either way, I don't really want to get into melee with that guy, plus there's already... Keep in mind the reach of his flail. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. But I think I have his attention a little better. Mm-hmm.

[00:56:35] What is... Sorry, Kirkless. Yeah. What is he... Is he wearing any armor? No. He's got scales. He's wearing demonic flesh. Okay. What is the flail made of? Exactly, he's got demonic gorilla chest. Mm-hmm. What is the flail made of? The flail appears to be made of some kind of obsidian with glow on the veins. Yeah, that's that. That's that.

[00:57:05] It's kind of like hellish metal. Okay. Great. Then I'm going to cast Heat Metal. Okay. On the flail. Sure. So that means he takes 2d8 damage and subsequent... Huh? Is that fire damage? Fire damage. Oh, right, because he's demon. He's in the room to fire. Yeah. So you do that. And he's just like...

[00:57:37] Oh, fuck balls. I'm going to use my other action to cancel that? Okay, thank you. Immediately cancel that? Yeah, because him getting an additional 2d8 damage on hits with it would not be so great. Yeah. Great that that only happens when I use a bonus action to cause it to happen again. It's not all the time. Okay. As far as it says, yeah. Oh, okay. Goddamn. Either way, I'm up and I've learned not to use fire on him. Derp. Yeah.

[00:58:06] So that's your turn though? Yeah, I guess, yeah. I am curious if he had resistance to the other pack. Hmm? I asked if it was silver. Oh, okay. And I did... You have 10 silver arrows. They do have damage resistance on anything that isn't silvered or magical. Oh, no. I mean, it's clearly a devil fiend, so like... Yeah. I was hoping that maybe you wouldn't have caught that. I was like, oh, maybe he'll throw it and I'll just be able to like half that fucking damage. No. Mm-hmm.

[00:58:36] I should have thought about that more, but I was more thinking I want to disarm this guy. I have a silver rapier. So on its turn now, it looks to you guys, like the ones that are in front of it, after he's like seeing this like hand, like his mace for a moment glow red and just like laughs. And then he looks at you guys like, my turn. Fire ball. And he's gonna like fire ball at you guys. Yes. I need fire ball. He's gonna fire his balls at you guys. Well, he is a great... He's a demonic ape.

[00:59:06] Actually, do you have the fire ball? I don't have fire ball. Just take all the d6s in the table and roll them. Yeah, probably. Oh, God. That's only up to second levels. Oh, God. Yeah. Chris?

[00:59:37] Okay. Pardon? Yeah, so basically he, with one finger from the mace, like that was holding the mace, he basically just points it at, let's go with the abomination in his arms. Which one? The class abomination.

[01:00:07] The fintan. And he basically, with one of his, with his index finger, like take a cap, uncoils it from the mace and just points it at you and says fire ball. It's a flail. The flail. Yes, it's a flail. I believe he pronounces it fire ball. No, I don't know. Yeah. No, sorry. No pit bull references? No. Oh, each creature. How many of you loved that song? Kirklus, how close are you to fintan?

[01:00:37] I'm all the way up the stairs. I just barely went to the room. Why would I walk into the room? I'm a ranger. That's fair. He's not going to go into melee unless he has to. I'm all about overwatch. Okay. Maybe. I love that game. I guess, is this a spell save or a dex save? It's a dexterity saving throw. Yep. But I need to know what his spell safety seems. You need to know, I have to tell you that or can you just roll it? I can just roll it and you can tell me if I pass or not. Okay.

[01:01:05] I like that more because... Because you can lie. This might scare me more. Yeah. Okay. 21. Beat? Yeah, I just have to meet it. Then I guess you half the damage on this fireball. Woo! Nice. Just! That's concerning. Yeah, a spell save of 21?

[01:01:35] That is fucked. Yeah. I kind of wish I kept that breastplate of fire resistance that I bought. Mm-hmm. Well, you guys wanted a ton of advice from Left Lesson. No one's complaining, dude. I'm complaining a little. Yeah. I'm a little worried about Fintan's future. Sure. Maybe we'll play that druid soon or run later. Yeah. He's not born yet! From the future!

[01:02:04] Through a timeborn. If he dies, dids on the sword. I'm sorry, I have to do this. Oh, I'm sorry. Easyworldofdicekick.com Yeah! Um... Okay, so I only rolled a 4d6 because originally it would have been 8d6. But it halved, right? We have to say 6, 5, 5, 5. So...

[01:02:34] 10, 16, 21. Yeah, 21 damage of fire as you are... As you like... Uh... Like leap out of the way of the fireball, barely. You are not unscathed by it. Yeah. And what's worse is, um... No.

[01:03:05] I'm trying not to. Like that's my biggest... I think my biggest issue as a GM is I get too excited and start telling you guys things about the monster that you just shouldn't know. Mm-hmm. We can learn the hard way. Like me trying to set him on fire. Also, that's technically not his only attack. He gets multiple attacks. Uh... No. Does he have a legendary action? No. Then no. But it does say he has multiple... Yes. Multiple standard mundane attacks. If he's making a regular... It's like me. Yeah.

[01:03:34] I can cast a spell or I can make 2 attacks with a weapon. Okay. So he can... So... He can hit twice with his flail or do a spell. Yes. Twice with his flail. Totally not 4. Jesus! Okay. It's fine. There's 4 of us that... There's... Whatever. Okay. So yeah. He used up his fire spell. Or his one spell.

[01:04:05] Um... And I guess the next up is, uh... Is Fintan. Maybe kill him. As you recover... Like reeling from that attack... From that fire. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um... Well, see there is a small problem with that. I have a finite number of actions. And, uh... A very finite number of... Oh! Spell slots.

[01:04:47] Sorry. F- You didn't have your cage flipping action. Rod of the Pact Keeper. Okay. Um... Is there cover in this room? No. No cover at all anywhere? There's nothing. There's the pedestal that he walked off of from the statue where he was when he was a statue. That's it. Okay, so he is... He's in front of...

[01:05:16] He's just in front of that pedestal. How big's the pedestal? Five foot. Like five feet high? No, like... It's probably like... Two feet high. Go back and stand. It seems... Yeah, it's good. Okay. I'm gonna misty step behind it. Okay. On the floor. Prone. And hide. Behind it. Okay. Oh...

[01:05:46] I guess you want me to make a hide check? Here's the problem with that. What? Come here for a second. I just wanna whisper this to you. I just said that. I'm trying to be invisible. Okay. It'll... A true sight sees through illusions and invisibility. Okay. Uh...

[01:06:15] Cause true sight is basically a spell. Okay. Alright. Alright, go. Go. Okay. Okay. Okay. So... Uh... That's a stealth check, which is untrained for me. It's gonna be funny when you guys finish this. When I was like, you have made an enemy of the fiendish realms this day. Not another enemy! We have too many as it is. Shit.

[01:06:45] Sorry. That would've had to have been teleport. Yeah. Out of my helmet. Because I don't actually have any slots left to cast Misty Step. Which was actually the purpose of doing this. Yeah. So that I could hide with a... Uh... 22. Okay. Are you hiding so you can take like a 10 minute break? No. Because I have a rod of the Pact Keeper and as an action I can replenish one spell slot. Oh, okay. You still have the uh...

[01:07:15] The teleportation crown now? Yeah. Why don't you go upstairs? Not that I should... Honestly, that is totally valid. Not that I shouldn't be giving you that advice. I did say go upstairs. You did. You did. You did. You could literally teleport outside if you want. You could teleport home and then come back. Leaving... Yeah. You could literally teleport home, like grab some pections and come back. And come back with allies. Just plop off with all the waterforged. Oh! No, no. No, no.

[01:07:45] With the whole Church of the Silver Flame. Everyone connect hands. We're going back. Hold hands, guys! We're going back! No, I'm just going to teleport upstairs. This is a good plan. You should do that. But then people will know where your island is. Doesn't matter. I own it. Actually, they won't know because they can't tell where it is by my teleporting. That's true. It's all jungly, so it could be the jungle zone. As long as they just know that it's a jungle. How many people can you actually teleport at once? Uh...

[01:08:14] That's a good question, but it's a 7th level spell, so I'm... It's at least one other. I would think. Okay, well, yeah. What are you doing? Uh... In light of that not being a good plan, what are you doing? Yeah, I think I'm just going to teleport upstairs. Okay. And then I'm going to use my bonus action, because I didn't use a bonus action, to telepathically tell these guys to run upstairs. Okay.

[01:08:43] I think I bought myself a round, so I can replenish a spell slot and come back into this fight with another solid hit. Couldn't you have done the same thing just down there? I guess this gets you out of the way of... This gets me out of combat for a moment. Yeah, so you can't potentially get hit. So you go up there and you're telepathically telling them to run upstairs? Yeah. You guys all hear also in your head the creature, Yes, run. Run from me, you little cowards. Okay.

[01:09:14] Happily. You don't have to tell me twice. Well, like I said, that's what you're doing then. That's what you've done? Yes. So, uh, Kribbles. I can shoot and then move, right? Yes, you can. Yes, he can, he can. You can actually move, shoot, move. Okay, because you can split up your move action. Because you can split up your move action. 23? Yeah, we'll hit.

[01:09:47] Okay. So, these two, and these three. 6, 12, 16, 23. 33.

[01:10:17] Oh, silvered arrow? 33 with a silvered arrow. I'm down to 8 now. Okay. Sorry, how much damage? 33? 33. Okay, so how do you want to do this? And then I'm... You're funnier. And then I'm bugging out upstairs. Okay. Alright. I use my bullet as actually. Woo! I mean, we have done 150 damage to this thing. Yeah. Yeah. Alright, so next up is Copper.

[01:10:47] Yeah, okay. Your friends have all abandoned you. This is how it ends. Except for Rob. Rob's still not yours right. I will hog the dog and wait for my inevitable death. Don't worry, I won't make this quick. Oh, thanks. Appreciate it. This is why I had the blue construct slaying. I can put you out of your misery. That's true. I would appreciate that at this point. Bam, bam, bam. Kill me! Done. He'd really use it on Rob first. You mean old Yeller? Yeah.

[01:11:19] But no. Yeah, okay. I'll just leave. Yeah, I think leaving is a good option. What's in... Is there anything between me and the stairs? Yeah, him. Is he actually stopping me? He... You have to go past him in order to get to the stairs. Okay. Cool. I hate it. Alright, um... Okay, we're back in one turn. You will enact an attack of opportunity. I'm assuming he has two legs?

[01:11:49] He's now a centaur or something? He does have two legs and a tail. Grease. We're going to have to roll against that? Uh... It's right here, actually. Ble-bleh. Dex save. Dex save? Okay. I'm certain of the democra... What?! I'm just pointing out that my finger opens up like Inspector Gadget. It's like a pfft. Go, go, gadget.

[01:12:20] Go, gadget. Restate. Oh, for fuck's sake. That's how you cast all of your spells. You're just Inspector Gadget. Yeah, totally. If you ever get the fly spell, it'll be... Out of my hat. Out of my head, yeah. You're going to get the helicopter out of your hat. Totally. I don't suppose an ink does it. No, it does not. This is an epic monologue. You just beat the demogorgon. So you guys above... You're upstairs, it's like...

[01:12:50] It's like, I am the servitor of the great demogorgon! Demogorgon? Oh my god! And then a... Whoop! And the entire floor above you, like the floor that you guys are on on the second level, some of it just kind of like kicks up and down a bit. Like it warps. That's amazing. Yup. So yeah, now you can like try to get to the stairs. Yeah, run for your life, Rob. Let's go. Run for your life, Rob! I am running.

[01:13:22] A tail between legs protocol, 505. Indeed. Okay. Uh, okay. So you guys, uh... Yeah, I mean that's... You get to the stairway, well at least. Yup. Okay. Now it's its turn. So, uh, I guess it spends an action to get up. Fireball. Yeah, I could just do that on the ground. Yeah, yeah, fireball.

[01:13:51] At the copper as he's trying to escape the stairs. Very good up on the stairs. It doesn't say on grease like if you have to succeed decks to get back up. Cause you just fall prone. Yeah. But if it's greasy, it should be difficult to get up. You would think. Roll your, uh, roll your decks safe. Roll high. Well no shit. This is not gonna work. That's pretty high. 21. That is...

[01:14:17] Why do I have to say it like that? I wanna hurt you. You already did. You slapped me across the room, knocked me down to half health. Um, doesn't Rob have a faster movement speed than you? Yes he do. So, wouldn't Rob possibly be out of the radius of the spell? If he'd run ahead? He did stay to run for your life. He would be moving at maximum speed.

[01:14:47] I'll let you do, um, to an advantage. Okay. Cause it is also, the fireball is like he's aiming, he's pointing at the stairwell. So you guys are gonna see a fire, a gout of flame come up the stairs. Total of 20. Oh, total of 20? Yes. Not good. Really? Yeah. So he's having a hard time on the stairs when the fireball hits. Um, so you actually outpace him a little bit. Damn. Um, so you're still, you're gonna still be taking the full damage, or the haptic, but Rob

[01:15:17] will take full damage. Oh, okay. Which I need to roll a little bit. Rob might be toast. I can rebuild. We have the technology. And the spell mending. Mmhmm. One cog at a time. Just bent, bent. He's hard, he's better, faster, stronger, he's playing in this area. Okay.

[01:15:48] A math machine. So Rob takes 28 damage. He's done. And you take a total of 14 damage. Mmhmm. You got Rob? Yep. I'm done. As you guys see above, like, as you guys- I take how much? You take 14. Okay.

[01:16:14] As you guys up on the ground level, after like everything starts shifting from the impact, and you immediately see your like, like foot falls, quick foot falls up the stairs, and then like a whoosh, as copper just like leaps off the top, like step, and away from the, like barely, like, barely escaping the flames entirely. Rob is nowhere to be seen for a moment, and then you just see this blackened shell kind of land on the other side of the room. Rob!

[01:16:43] You son of a bitch! Face me you cowards! Face the same face as your pet! I charge. I charge. Okay. All right. Were you charging with like the murder of my dog? Yeah. Okay. That's fair. Okay, so we- So I have a, uh, what, two rounds before he gets up here? Yeah. Okay. So he's- Are you charging down back and down the stairs?

[01:17:15] I'm gonna run down and take another shot. Okay, you see him like, approaching the stairs. Um, like yeah, but yeah, he's basically getting ready to like start going up those stairs, so yeah. So half moving down, shot in the face. Well, hang on, it's actually not your turn yet. No. So- Well, actually hang on, so, um, top of the round, what were you doing there? You were just, you're trying to gather up your, uh, your spell slots? Oh, yeah, so, um, I'm gonna, I'm gonna grab my rod. Yeah. Stroke it gently.

[01:17:43] And get back, uh, one of my warlock spell slots. Okay. Puts me- Actually pretty good at- Wouldn't you have done that last round? Cause you just moved and then used the bonus action. Teleport took an action. Oh, okay. Gotcha. Okay, so that gives me one of those back. And, uh, can I see him at all? Not yet. Okay. You can't see-

[01:18:10] Yeah, no, the ground, there is actually, the floor, like, the ground level floor is actually pretty, like, solid. Okay. Okay. Uh, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. Oh, um, I wanted to see. Damn it. Pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro. I said pro.

[01:18:41] Dammit. Uh, then I guess I will drink, uh, one of my, um, my greater healing potions. Okay. It's 44 plus 4. 44 plus 4, thank you. So that's your turn? Yeah, that's it for me. So I'm going to run down until I can see his face. Yeah, you see him, he's getting right, he's taking a couple steps toward him. And then I'm going to put one over there. Okay. Right in his face.

[01:19:08] No, literally, because that's like a 29 to hit. Yep, fair enough.

[01:19:23] 10, 16, 17, 24, 34, 35, 39. 39, silver arrow right in the face. Okay. And then retreating back upstairs to the last of my movement. Yeah. It's just like, ah, come back from, ah!

[01:19:55] I just stumble back into the grease, slips on his ass again. I didn't quit, unfortunately. I pictured him doing that and then making the woody woodpecker noise running back upstairs. Those things are pretty good. I did pride myself at learning how to do that as a kid. Yeah. So next up is copper. Yeah. So he's still downstairs? Yeah, the creature, Potassianian is downstairs. Well, I mean, once he got up from that grease,

[01:20:25] he still would have had to have been using half his movement to move across the floor. So we have a round or so. I don't really have much in the way of traps, unfortunately. Do you have much in the way of buffs? Yeah. It could be dumb, but it could be really good. I could put Warding Bond on you, which makes it so you have plus one AC,

[01:20:54] plus one saving throws, resistance to all damage. Fuck yeah, do it. But, I take the same damage you take. Fuck yeah, do it. I'm just saying. You get the hell out of combat, and then... I'm just in the corner chucking potions every time you get it. Ah! Well, I mean, it's not going to share the healing with me, but yeah. No, I mean, so I stay alive, because if I go down to zero,

[01:21:24] then it goes away. Yeah. Obviously. Oh, so you're basically a shield guardian. Sure. It basically turns you into a shield guardian. Yeah. Yeah. So I will spend an action, and I will do that. I don't actually know what level of spell that is. That's one of my battlesmith spells. What's it called? Warding Bond. I have it here, I just have to find it. Well, it starts with a W,

[01:21:53] so... It does. Oh, yeah, there it is. It is a second level spell. Oh, so it is. Okay. Then I will use one of them. You'll have to throw me up platinum ring. I have a platinum ring. Do we have platinum rings in the loot that we have gotten previously from bank heists and other things?

[01:22:23] I feel like that would be a coincidence check. Make the coincidence check. Okay. Actually, Dave, no, not a coincidence check. Do you still have a dobroni? No. You had two. No, one. Oh, no, sorry, I didn't take a second one. Actually, no. So, yeah. I did. Why? Yeah, you have a silver ring. A platinum. A platinum, yeah.

[01:22:52] Yes, you have a silver ring. Great. I needed a platinum one, though. Damn it. I mean, it looks right. Okay. You'll have to throw me a platinum ring. Okay. Because we have to have a pair of them. Oh. Okay, sure. That's the spell component. It's not consumed. Yeah, it just has to be there. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah, I'll flip it over to you like a coin. Slowly, like dunking, like dunking a basket. Yeah.

[01:23:22] Totally, yeah. Okay. All right. So that's what you're doing on your turn? Yeah. Is there any cover up here at all? No. There's the trees. Or there's the pot of banana trees. It's better than nothing, I guess. But yeah, I will go behind one of those trees to get some partial shitty cover and draw out my revolver with my shield in hand and ready to go. Okay. Yeah, there's a few, you guys hear like footsteps downstairs

[01:23:53] and eventually they start coming up the, they start going up the stairwell itself. And you... Oh, sorry. And I get a second action before he gets up here. Yes. Actually, sorry. Bonus action. Preparing the other left. Three. What does that do? Oh, hang on. I got to pull up that. Is that thing not working yet? It's working now, but he has a lemon on it. Yeah, I haven't worked that out yet. And I think he said when I do, it becomes... It becomes attuned as well.

[01:24:22] Number three. Which is technically a downside. Prosthetic attacks or explodes outward and collateral damage or harming a player. It explodes? That wasn't an option. It explodes or attacks. I don't recall that being an option. I thought it was... I've retooled the... You redid all of the things without discussing it with the player who has it? It explodes. No, it either explodes

[01:24:51] or it attacks. Depending on the circumstance. So an accidental discharge is what you're saying? Yeah, yeah. He's given an accidental discharge that will attack one of these dudes. Fire at me. I'm standing right down the stairs. I have full health. Wait, it hits them automatically or does it roll to it? You're forcing me to roll to hit them. Yeah. Okay. Roll the die four to see which one it hits or which one it attacks. You got nervous

[01:25:21] and shot off early. Yeah, I mean, it happens to the best of us, you know. Nine and ten. Goddammit. Yeah. Okay, so... You still gotta make the attack roll and I have a much higher AC than you. Yeah, but I'm at full health. I'm only five shy of full health. I'm also not choosing who to shoot. I know. Fair. That's why I'm saying it. Finally. You want to choose between an auto who the two of you guys is. Odds or evens. He has a book. Odds or evens. I have a book? Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. Do you want one or two? Two.

[01:25:52] Two it is. Okay, fine. Take a shot. Roll an 18. Um... And two... Actually, did I not write down... Oh, whatever. It would be... Hits. Yeah, 22? Hang on, hang on. I'm reading my rules for this already and I realize I'm fucked up. Okay. Just give me the hit damage. You need to roll a wisdom save. Who's me? Yeah. Kappa.

[01:26:26] 14? Okay, yeah. Now you can roll your attack on hand. Oh, because... Now we can figure this out because you did not pass the malfunction test. Or the malfunction... The malfunction dice check. So is this the first thing I do? Yeah, so... Yeah, I was rereading and double-checking. I was like, oh, shit, no. You're supposed to roll a wisdom save at my choosing during a session when you're using your prosthetic. Yes. And if you fail, then one of the malfunctions happens. So it has nothing to do with the...

[01:26:55] with the D4 anymore? The D4 is to decide which malfunction it is. Okay. Okay. So either way, I hit it. Unless you're wanting me to re-roll that. No, you hit one of them. Yes. Him? You hit me. Yes. And then roll... Oh, yeah, then roll. Roll your damage. That's a giant fucking... No, Annie. Cool. I rolled three sixes on D6s. That's a good damage. Shit. Well done. Well done.

[01:27:25] I would not look forward to that. Just why? Why? This is the first time I've actually shot this at someone. Because it either glitches or I die before I get a chance to use it. It is the way. Oh my god. That is... all kinds of suck. Yeah. Love it.

[01:27:55] Is there any plus to that? Do you want more? No, there's no more. It's like a crossbow bolt all the time. Except it's a really big... Basically a huge crossbow bolt just goes through your shoulder. I just take it right in the back, low back, like, my legs, my legs! I suppose we're even now. Sorry! My bad. I did shoot you first. You did. This is a bad time to... to call that in. But yeah,

[01:28:25] it's fine. Okay. You're welcome down below. Really? You guys are killing each other? I don't need to hear this right now. I need to give you an advantage. Yeah. Alright. So, now that that stupidity is out of the way... Yeah, a little bit. I suppose we are now down to Fint. Okay. Do something useful. Unlike I am this. Yeah, I'm doing the most useful things.

[01:28:55] I've been hit, I've lost my dog, and I've shot you. Friendly. That's all I've done. No, true. You gave him a... You're gonna be taking damage... You're giving me resistance, you gave me a bonus to my AC, and you gave me advantage on plus one to my saving throw. Yeah. So... Plus I delayed him a little bit with the grease. Yeah. This is why I hate constructs. Yeah, that's why. So, yeah, armor bag of this, so I better mark down

[01:29:25] that I've cast a spell. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna cast a spell. Uh... Okay. And then... Oh, yeah, that's the other thing I was gonna do.

[01:29:59] As a bonus action. I know that hurts, man, but use that pain. Channel it into a rage in your arrows. Takes a bardic inspiration die. Die six on your next attack roll, or really whatever. Okay, uh, that's, that's it. Okay. Uh, Fintan.

[01:30:29] No. I'm Fintan. Curculus. I get another shot. I'm gonna move back to cover. Okay. So, one of the bottom trees. The bottom trees. I'm gonna ready an action. Okay. as soon as he clears as soon as his face clears that floor, it's taking an arrow. Okay? Might I also suggest the option of a potion if you need it? You're fine. Okay, so that's your... I am taking wuss.

[01:30:59] Alright, copper, you're up. Okay, I'm going to shoot him again. That's your sudden but nimble betrayal. Yeah, no, I'm not doing that. Alright, so my rate of action changes and you're shooting with the... The bullet contract slaying? Yeah, that's fair. It's entirely fair at this point. One less bot. But no, I won't do that. Instead, I could potentially

[01:31:27] delay him more but at this point we don't want to delay him. We need him to come up here so we can do shit. Point of note, Dave, that is not a concentration spell. Warding Bond. Yeah. So you can cast another buff or something that is concentration. Okay. It just straight up lasts for an hour. I just don't think... I don't think I have any concentration-based spells, to be honest. Okay. Hmm. I was just...

[01:31:56] just wanted to put that out there that if you have other buffs to cast, that one is not concentration, so... Okay. You can have more than one up. Mm-hmm. Appreciate it. Okay, right at the top of the stairs I'm going to put Grease. Okay there, Kevin McAllister. It works, man. What else can I do? And I'm going to hang a paint can from the... Oh, no. Dave, you have any of those lightning traps that you left? Holy fuck. Yes, we do. We do. I've been looking at all the other stuff. Thank you, Chris.

[01:32:29] Technically, I... Remember, guys, I am technically on your side. You say that. Um... Yeah, did we use any of those yet? No. No. We used... We used one. We used one, yeah. Yeah. But we still have one. Then there's two, I believe. We should still have two. Yes. I think so. I know there's at least one. I think there's two. Okay. Then, sure. I'll set up a lightning trap. Okay. Probably at the top of the stairs. In the middle of where you're going to cast Grease.

[01:33:01] Smack! Yeah! It's fine. I'll put the Grease on after. They'll do the trap first. Okay. Merrick, may I have this red ale? Take care of you, please. Although, I do call dibs in that last cider. Bear? Ah, the Don't Poke the Bear. This episode brought to you by Don't Poke the Bear Cider. Please sponsor us. This shit's great. Okay.

[01:33:33] And downtown brown. I need to try that. It's all right. It's a decent brown. Which is pretty uncut. There was a brown ale I had, I think it was actually down in Louisville when I was in Kentucky with Adam and RP Express. And there was a drink there that was like, oh, fuck. It was, there was a beer, it wasn't a brown, but it was like,

[01:34:03] um, let's see if I can find it. It's like, the grossest fucking name for a beer. Are you doing something there, David? No, it's the end of my turn. Oh, okay, sorry. I was waiting for you. So. Okay. So, Cervantes, you said all that up though? Yep. Okay. So, Potasimian rears his ugly head up on the stairwell as I, poked up. Hi.

[01:34:33] Bam. Okay. Right in the face. I should use my Barak Inspiration die, which will cancel out my Shark Shooter, which I'm going to take the minus five to the plus ten. Okay. Please don't fuck me. Ooh, so six, 21, 30. 30 to hit. That will hit. Nice.

[01:35:02] 11, 16, 21, 26, 32, 33, 37, 47 damage right in the face. Damn. So yeah, he takes it. I really wish you wouldn't do that. Just let me kill you and drag you back to the abyss.

[01:35:32] And he continues walking up. I'll roll his, his spot. Also hide after that. Yeah. Because I do have that ability to bonus action. 18 to hide. Okay. I should have a helmet over you guys. God damn, I've dealt a lot of damage this game. You really have.

[01:36:02] I mean, this is exactly what I'm built for. Yeah, true. Both of you, honestly. Single target, fuck you. Mm-hmm. And he's still, like, not flinching from all these damages, which is concerning. So he, he starts crawling, like, walking up. What do you want to have happen first? The grease or the lightning? Oh, I'm not doing grease. Oh, yeah, because I wouldn't have been able to do that in the lightning trap. Okay, so lightning trap then? Yeah. Okay,

[01:36:32] so he steps on the lightning trap. Roll your, roll the damage on that lightning trap. It's a lightning, it's a shocking grasp. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah. It's basically a trap amidst shocking grasp. Oh, okay. Shocking grasp is right there. These. It's not very good. Two damage.

[01:37:02] Only two damage? Yeah. It's like, psst, my toe. And then continues walking the steps. I mean, I tried. If it's shocking grasp, should you not also like, slow him? Wait, really? Only two on the shocking grasp? I thought it did like 3d6. It does 1d8 lightning is what shocking grasp does. Aaron? Hmm? I thought the shocking grasp, didn't you guys like, paralyzed like, fucking, like that character, like the, uh,

[01:37:33] the bounty hunter when you used it last? It does do an extra thing. Okay, yeah, because like, it does like a d, it only does a d8 of lightning damage. You can't take reactions until the start of its next turn. Okay. I thought it was a lot more powerful than that. Like, it was a lot, it was a lot more powerful than you guys. It really fucked up my face a couple of times. It might be because like, like out of combat, it's just kind of used narratively. Also, you can cast it at higher levels

[01:38:02] to get more damage. No, because it's the, oh, I should look up a lightning trap in. Because maybe it's counted as a higher level one because it's an extra 1d8. Per level above the cantrip. Arcane lightning traps or arcane traps. Oh no, nevermind. It gets, my shot in grass is just better. It doesn't, you can't cast it at higher levels

[01:38:31] just when I'm 5th level it's better. Oh, because it's a cantrip. Yeah. So it's 2d8. Okay. Total of 8. Okay. I mean, it's still on now. No. It's just like, my toe, my toe. I mean, what's he from? Frickin' uh, that's the reference I was going to. Ninja Turtles. Pre-prepared spell, so, what, you can't really complain about it too much. It's free damage. Yeah, with no spell slot usage.

[01:39:00] And he can't take reactions. Yeah. Yeah. However, he also crushes the trap under his foot after that because like, just like, and, it's okay, I went for a minute to walking up and, oh yeah. And, so, um, I guess now, yeah, so he's still, it's still his turn technically. Um, that's me? Instead of the room. How many fireballs

[01:39:29] does he have at will? Son of a bitch. Actually, no, he's not going to be a fireball. wall of fire. That's so much better. Can we just do a fireball? Wow. Jesus. Um, wait, do you still have that, uh, that, that, that, uh, uh, mace?

[01:39:59] Do it. Do the mace. No, no, I don't think he's, use the fire hose. The decanter of endless water? Yeah. Blow him back down those stairs. Well, hang on, because it's his turn, motherfucker. Mm-hmm. So wall of fire. Ball. Ding. are you creating wall of fire on a, on a solid surface within range? Yeah,

[01:40:28] he's basically just creating a giant ring of fire around this entire room. Um, and, uh, everybody gonna roll dexterity saves. 26. Okay. I think that actually beats it. I think that beats it. Should I even bother rolling? You have to think about it? I succeeded.

[01:41:00] What do you want? Now 20? Yes. Like 11. Yeah, he's, yeah, of course not. So you guys are taking half, he's taking the full crunch of this deck. Mm-hmm. He's less damage than a fireball, at least. It's 5 to 8. I might die. But what actually did... You should have drank one of those health potions when the Warforged suggested it. Actually, I had a free bonus action

[01:41:29] last round that I did not use. I probably should have used that to drink a potion. Probably. Can I drink it now? Thank you. It's probably not gonna do anything. Not enough. Wait, I didn't roll enough dice to begin with on my first potion because it's 4d4 but I don't have 4 and I didn't re-roll one. God damn it. Yeah, you're not getting that. That's fair. That was my own dumbness. Thank you.

[01:42:00] Okay. Helps a little bit. Here. This one's copper. Oh, that works. So it's yours now. Thank you, sir. That might actually be mine. Because I have a set of these but I don't have the d4 for it anymore. I gave you that set. Oh, okay. I might have reacquired it if you loaned it to somebody else during a game because I would recognize it as mine. Probably. As the room is kind of

[01:42:31] encircled by this ring of fire. I'm sorry to say that the banana trees are the repertorium in this room. Not the way a generation. Well, when you die, you give me your roll. So, the two of you that passed the dex save, you only suffer 9 damage. Copper, you suffer 18 damage.

[01:43:01] Okay. The fire just kind of erupts. I think we're all still alive. Oh, I'm very much still alive. Mm-hmm. So far, so good. I think I'm now bloodied. If that was still a thing. I don't think that's a thing. At least I've never heard of that. Pota is just like, whoo-hoo-ha! You will be the first of my sacrifices to the Demogorgon on this fetid island.

[01:43:30] I will torch it all. All! And then, now, top of the episode. Oh, sorry, Dave, you took an additional four. Oh, yeah. Wait, yeah, because you got hit. Oh, yeah. Good call. Oh, actually, no, you didn't. No, you didn't, because I have armor of Agath's stuff, so I didn't take any damage. Oh, okay, cool. We were really second, like, you didn't take any damage, you still take that damage. Yeah.

[01:44:01] Because it's, like, technically still hurting, affecting you. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, yeah, top of the round, it's in town. This Demogorgon is now fully in this room. Okay. Or, this lesser feed that is serving the Demogorgon. I'm going to hit him with Hex. Okay. And then I'm going to close the distance, and I'm going to, uh, I'm going to try to cleave this son of a bitch in two with my goddamn lightsaber. Okay.

[01:44:31] It's a mighty fine spin. It's going to go for a while. No, it's going to hit the side. Oh, I should mark that I cast Hex. Did you take that away from him? No. Remember, he threatened last time. to, uh, pistol whip me. No, no, to beat you with the case that my pistol is in. Okay. Uh, 21 hit? Yeah, 21 hit.

[01:45:01] Okay. Okay. All right. So, where did all those diets go? Because we're going to smite. All the smite. All of the smite. Maximum smite. Unlimited power. Oh, right. And the die six for Hex. And he's going to take disadvantage on,

[01:45:34] we really need to discuss this. Dex? Dex? Dex is a good save? Okay. He's going to take disadvantage on Dex saves moving forward. Okay. Okay, so that's six and seven is eleven. Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen. Uh, and five is twenty-one and eight is twenty-nine and four uh, thirty-three plus

[01:46:06] seven. Forty. Radiant. How do you want to do this? God damn it. Fuck yeah. I gotta follow up with the same combo I used before but this time going for the other knee. You know, make him take a knee and then I'm going to use my second attack to cut the head from his shoulders. Okay. Yeah, so you, yeah, he's like monologuing about like sacrificing guys to the demon organ and torching his entire body. And in the middle of the monologue I'm

[01:46:36] going to interrupt him with an attack. Yeah. Because I'm a dick and I don't let people monologue. That's fair. I didn't either. I greased him down and then you cut off his head and it just stops it keeps monologuing. Actually, it does fall to the ground as the body goes slump and just kind of rolls back down the stairwell back down into the basement and the head just kind of slams down to like the side

[01:47:05] and it kind of like chatters like oh, the demogorgon's going to be pissed at you guys. Just you wait. You'll feel the full force of it and then you just endless water. Push her down the stairs. All right, I'll see if I gotta take a shit. Meanwhile, downstairs, all the other statues have come to life. Fuck! You hose it down and once you're like, yeah, this should be enough. You take out,

[01:47:34] you cork back up your decanter and the head is dead. Okay. So that's gotta be worth some money. That's gotta be worth some tasty, tasty nuggets of XP. Oh, yeah. Now, wasn't one of the guys waiting for demon skin? Yeah! Holy shit! Jorts! Yep. The, the, yeah, the jorts was waiting for some demon, uh, demon jeans.

[01:48:03] He's definitely made of demon skin. Pull out my, uh, a lot of demon skin. Pull out my antler-handled knife and my antler-handled silver knife and I'll start skinning this son of a bitch. I'll start working on the other end. Yeah, yeah. Wait a minute, he's still got the horn in his hand, doesn't he? Uh, yeah, the tentacle hand to kind of like fall with the rest of the body down. Let's separate that horn fucking immediately. Okay. Just in case Mason get back up. Okay, so you, somebody goes down the service again to like retrieve that? Yeah, we're all

[01:48:33] going down to do that. Okay. Uh, yeah, you guys go down there and like the body slump down there. Um, you guys also there is actually a broken down, like a burrowed part of the back end of the chamber. Um, and there is, uh, it is a flooded tunnel that goes down and like on an angle. Um, and, um, if you test the water, it is salt or it is salt water. Okay.

[01:49:03] So this thing apparently came in from, like, from an underground tunnel or cavern from the ocean. So that's great. All kinds of my problem. I'm gonna grab that horn, go upstairs. And see if I can dispel the, uh, the monkey hord. Okay, when you get outside, um, and you open the, the, the, the giant circular door slowly closes open and you just see bodies. Thousands of monkey bodies. And a

[01:49:32] very tired black dragon board. It's like, uh, uh, everyone else is fine, though. Yeah, everybody go. I'm going to go to the banana trees. Yeah. And I'm going to, um, try to lay on hands and see if I can give them back any hit points. Um, if they're on fire, are they on fire? They're chardusks. Um, you go to try and nothing really. I,

[01:50:03] the root system may still be alive. I'm going to try anyway. Okay. Maybe one day there will be some new shoots of banana trees. Well, so you, you see that happen. You're doing that. Fae kind of pokes her head in the door after you go outside and see all that. It's like, oh, like, yeah, they're all, they, they, they were like, basically, they, they were keeping back some of the monkeys, but basically like, the bulk of them were destroyed, were killed by, by being preoccupied, being tithed by the black

[01:50:33] dragon. Um, and, uh, and Fae kind of, or Fae, Fae kind of like, puts her head through the door, is like, what are you doing? Uh, trying to fix the trees. Oh, you, we used the horn on that. That's, that's what the horn does. It, it promotes plant growth at an alarming rate, and regenerates. Hi, I'm not a wizard, or a druid. Oh, well, okay,

[01:51:03] fair enough. I give this to you, go and be horny. thanks. Holds it, grabs it begrudgingly, and just like, you know, we're really open. And yeah, she walks inside into the center of the room and says, don't go on that tile! Oh, yeah. And see, she doesn't go on that tile. It's still glowing. Yeah. And then she, like, lets out a bellow from the horn, and, um,

[01:51:34] um, it basically does, like, um, and, uh, as, as Scar, as the, as the, as the, as the, as the, the charred husks of the banana trees, the ash falls off of them, giving way to new, new tree flesh, as the trees grow back. Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic.

[01:52:04] Are there more bananas? Uh, a few new, like, smaller ones. It's gonna take some time for them. Okay. Yes, the, this is, that was a, uh, this is the power of our ancient economy, uh, singers. Ska. It's goblin music. It is now. All right. It always was. Yeah. You're a trash goblin. You call yourself that. Yes. Okay. All right. Um, that's, that's great.

[01:52:34] That's, that's just, that's just super. Yes. I'm with this. We'll be able to grow strong crops back in Dargoon. And this will go up in our museums, uh, as a, as a great ancient relic of our people. Who's in need of healing? I can heal too. Plus we have potions. I, um, robot that is. Yeah. I need a long rest to, to, to actually remake him. Okay. Well, then I will, uh,

[01:53:04] bust out my mandolin and I will, uh, play exactly what I just heard played on the trumpet, but on the mandolin. So that will let me cast cure wounds at a third level. No, actually, uh, it's a mandolin you said? A little more like. Yes. Just like that. You're too good at that.

[01:53:34] It's only because like, I know how to do the, uh, so stupid. I know how to do the, uh, the gravity falls theme as told, uh, as done by the sound, by using sound. It's just like, okay, that's three die. It's so random. It's really just like me, like clicking my, my, uh, time really quickly. So what was that? I don't know. It's rolling. I was full of.

[01:54:04] Are you? Yes. Okay. I have blue healing teachers too. And then I will, uh, uh, lay on hands for, uh, for Dave or, for copper. I can cast cure wounds on myself and not potions still. If you want to save stuff. Don't waste the potions. But spell slots regenerate. Potions cost money. But we make money. I'm aware, but we make more money if we don't spend it. I know. Fair enough.

[01:54:33] But we make even more money if we don't die. Yeah, that's the other thing. So are we going home? 10. Okay, fine. I will take it. I very rarely remember to use lay on hands and it's an action to do and not a hell of a lot of healing. Yeah. Really, it's an outside combat thing. Mm-hmm. Well, I appreciate it. When you get hit for 40 hit points worth of damage. Mm-hmm. It's really not worth healing 10. You say that,

[01:55:02] but me doing cure wounds is 1d8 plus 3. Unless you cast it at higher level. Yeah, true. Like healing up and recovering and stuff. You guys all do hear a, like, a thunderous, like, sound coming from the jungle again. And the dragonborn's, like, out at this point. And Krim is like, oh, fuck, what the hell's going on now? And you guys, like, look out and you see those two white apes from before come, like,

[01:55:32] bashing back out through the jungle. And they stop just, like, short of, like, the body of, uh, of their queen. And then they kind of just, like, look around and, uh, look kind of, like, mournful, but, like, also, like, like, what do we do now? Like, like, they don't say that, but, like, they kind of, like, that's what they're kind of, like, they seem like they're doing. They're, like, looking around, kind of, like, confused and befuddled, like, what do we do? So. I step forward and command them to kneel with my hand.

[01:56:02] Roll a handle of the animal. Fuck, do I have that? I don't even, is that actually a thing? No. it is too. Shit. Yep. Twelve. Let's see if they, uh, actually, I'll let you, oh, roll it in. Okay. Um, they, they, they, they, look at each other and it's like, mm-hmm.

[01:56:33] surprise attack. There, okay. So I shoot the first one in the face, with sharpshooter. Did they seem like they were going to hit? 19 to hit? Uh, 19 to hit. Did they seem like they were going to attack us? Seemed like they were going to attack him. Mm-hmm.

[01:56:51] And 14, 24 damage on that first one. Okay, you kill him. And then the other one's like, takes a nap. That worked. All right. I have a monkey now. You have, you have a large, gorilla on. Not white gorilla.

[01:57:22] Um, yeah. So I make him roll over and I give him belly bubs. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Just, not used to this. I can teleport with up to eight willing creatures, by the way. Oh, okay. Okay. Good to know. Um, okay. Well, do you guys want to, or what do you guys want to do? Yeah, yeah, uh, yeah, so Fae has the, um,

[01:57:50] Fae the horn of Musa. Um, she's very grateful. Um, she's like, yes, well, with this, we can, we should, we can get back to the, the beach, and, uh, we can return to Dargoon, and you can have this island. So, how many charges of teleport do you have left? Two? Can you take all these motherfuckers off my island? How many are there? Uh, there are three goblins.

[01:58:20] There's three, three, yeah, I think, I think I said there's three guarding, like, like, goblins guarding Fae's. And so there's four goblins total. Plus, yeah, yeah, four goblins. Um, plus, are you talking about Krim and, um, then there's Krim, Bella, and, uh, and, and Cabal. And, I think that's it, actually. Seven, six, seven, eight. Yeah. And then the gorilla, but, I mean, you can probably, no, the gorilla's staying here.

[01:58:50] So, Fae, just get these goblins back to where they're from. Are you really sold on living in Dargoon? I mean, it's, it's our people's new nation. Well, yeah, but does it have to be? Does it have to be where, where, where you are? I mean, you're, you're, you're an intelligent, good looking little goblin. And, uh, we're, we're starting out this, this, uh, this whole new thing.

[01:59:20] Have you heard of a shot? Have you heard of a shot? Roll, persuasion, a fabricate. Charm, the, your, your, your, uh, short stacked goblin waifu. Goblin librarian waifu. Okay. Okay. While this is rolling, I'm fabricating a table, putting a bunch of random stuff on it, just so I could push it out of the way and lay the map down. You're using some of the body parts of the map. Yeah. Throw it off. Seventeen.

[01:59:50] Okay. Uh, she's like, maybe, but, maybe we could talk about this over dinner. Oh my. Yeah, we could. Okay. See ya. Okay. I've got this perfect place we can check out. It's called the Ashol. But for now, um, why don't you guys come back to the airship with us? Oh, yeah. Yeah. We can, uh, we, we have to make a detour down to,

[02:00:20] um, where was it we were heading? You guys are heading to Zendrik, the continent to the south. We're headed to Zendrik. Oh. Um, we understand that there's some, some ruins to investigate there. You're, you're an archaeologist. This is your bag, isn't it? Yes. Uh, mostly, we, but we, we're mostly a group of, uh, focused on Dakani, uh, I understand. But you, you have a substantial knowledge of history. World history ties into that. I, I suppose, yeah.

[02:00:51] Um, we, we could probably use a hand. That's going to be another persuasion test. Because she is, there would of course be some, some, um, recompense involved. So, I'm sure it gives me advantage. Sure. He is the Plata, I am the Plomo. I'm going to walk up behind him with my arrow knocked. Jesus. You're coming with us. If you're likely not. Jesus. Uh, 18 and 6, 24. 24.

[02:01:21] That's a 22 persuasion. Or intimidate. Well. On the other side of that. Well, she doesn't know you're there. But it's like, um, yeah, I, I suppose I could take a break from the catch, and go and see Zendrick, see the, the giants, um, ruins and such. It's not really my forte, but I, might benefit our people to be a little bit more worldly. Okay.

[02:01:50] Looks over her shoulder. Is there, is there any rush on them getting this horn? Just on my neck. I get like a, there's like an itch. So she looks away, he's like scooting to the side, staying over her, for her friends. Yeah. Okay. And then, there's no rush on them getting this horn. Like, they don't need it today. No, no. Well, um, my, my, my fellows here can, can, uh, can return it if they want, or I can hold onto it until, until, uh, if you want your fellows to return it, then,

[02:02:20] you can do that immediately. I can, I can assist with that immediately. Well, that benefits perfectly. Um, we were in, do you know, are you able to, can, can your airship take us to the, to the, uh, the capital of Dargoon? How far away is that? That's, it's in Dargoon. So it's like, probably about a day or a day and a half. Although, Dargoon is, is, is not exactly, like they don't exactly like, um, house Leandar, or any of the houses. then, no, no, because this is a,

[02:02:50] an airship, and they'll probably shoot us out of the sky. Oh. But, I can get you there. How? Oh. Because I am, not a wizard. So don't you need to know where you're going? Which, he does. Vaguely. And he does know where, the capital, you guys have been there. I don't know. You've been to the capital of Dargoon. We have been to Dargoon. There is a chance of failure, but, it's reasonably low.

[02:03:20] Well, yes, if we're able to return this, and I can, and my kesh can, can, can show the king, this, this land, this would be a great, this would be a great boon to us. They may even see, uh, he may even see favor with you. Okay. If you help this. Do your gobbels want to go home, or do they want to, uh, come over from the ride. They look over to you, and it's like, they want to go home? They want to go home. Alright, so gather up, going home gobbels. Now,

[02:03:49] to be honest at home, I was like, frantically like, shaking my head, nodding my head. Yeah. Okay, so the gobbels, like, I'll come up to her, yeah. I'm gonna go with them. Okay. Real quick. Okay. Okay. What are you gonna do? Okay, I'd like to look on your face there. Okay, we'll see. Everybody hold hands. Okay. I'm gonna stay here and gather, and sadly gather up the parts of the wrong. Yeah.

[02:04:23] And we're good. Hmm. And we're good. Okay. Yeah, because this, this would be, uh, considered seen casually, because I've only been there once, right? Yeah. Okay. And it was, 56, and 54 to 100 is on target. Yeah. So, we're good. Okay. So you guys teleport into the streets of, uh, the Rukondral, uh, marketplace. Okay. It's that big bustling, um, tent market, um, in, uh,

[02:04:52] in the Goblin Capital. So who is in possession of the horn currently? I believe that. She would be fast. Yeah. All right. So we're just gonna take her and go to the capital and turn this in. Yeah. So that's, that's what we're doing. Yeah. Good. That's what you guys are doing. Excellent. What are you doing? You'll see that we get there. Okay. So you guys, you're not gonna assassinate the kingdom. No. No, no, no, no. We wouldn't put a pass at this point. Okay.

[02:05:22] You guys travel to, uh, to the capital. Like you guys, like after that, like she takes you to, uh, uh, you guys get deeper into Rukondral. So away from the tents and like the older, like timber buildings to more, like the newer timber buildings. Yeah. More to the older earthen clay and rock buildings that were created, that were, that the built city was built on. Uh, and eventually to the giant red tower in the center of the city where, uh, where the king of the goblins resides. Um, the catch, um, catch Valar has a, uh, has a,

[02:05:51] a building nearby near that tower that they, um, they archive various relics and stuff of the Takani there. Uh, and, uh, yeah. Um, um, Faye basically, Faye walks, like walks ahead of you guys all. Um, basically like proclaiming that we need to see the king that I need to read. I need to remember his name. Um, great. She's walking ahead. Yeah. Nice view. Yep.

[02:06:22] It's just bouncing up and down. Uh, where is, uh, is it? Yeah. Uh, one, Uh, Dargoon is, uh, yeah. So, uh,

[02:06:52] you, um, it takes some, some talking to with it, with her higher ups in, in, in her cash, which is like her clan, the goblin clan. Um, but, uh, after some, some doing, they, the, the, you guys are kind of scored up to the red tower and eventually up, uh, you take a, uh, a lift through the center of the tower to the top, uh, area where the throne room is for, for Lord, Lesh, Haruk, uh, uh, Sharat Cor.

[02:07:22] Um, uh, and, uh, Haruk is sitting there on a throne with a bunch of advisors of various, uh, goblins and hobgoblins and bugbears. Oh my. Um, he himself is a hobgoblin. So one of the more human sized goblins. He himself is actually a kobold. Very strange. That's a little weird. Um, and, uh, he, uh, like there's a bunch of muttering and like, it's three kobolds dressed as a hobgoblin. God damn it. no, it's not. Um,

[02:07:52] um, but, uh, yeah, uh, as you guys enter the room, um, everything, all the murmuring and so that kind of quiets. And, and, and Faye along with some of her, like her elder, um, elder members of her, uh, of her Kesh, uh, kind of stride in with this glowing horn. And it's like, great Haruk, uh, we come, uh, we, uh, Kesh-Valar, along with our, uh, with, uh, along with our companions, um, uh, from,

[02:08:22] from beyond our borders have come, because we have retrieved an ancient Dakani relic of great value to our peoples. Um, I, I bring to you the, the, the horn of Moose, of Moosa, uh, which will allow us to, uh, to grow greener crops and greater, in greater number across our lands. It is, uh, uh, we do this for you and for our people. And so like Haruk, and I like looks down, it's like, I step forward. Okay. I,

[02:08:52] Kirklus, where would son of Andros, captain of the living resistance have returned this object to your people. Okay. At great personal cost, we slew a lieutenant of the Demogorgon to retrieve it for you, my king. Oh. Okay. Roll a, I swear my guilty. A persuasion? Um, yeah. How do they even need to? That's all true.

[02:09:22] That's why I'm saying persuasion, like it's not like a seven. I will do one. Well, you are. Can I have advantage? Since it's, uh, cause, yeah. Is it all true? Nine? Hmm. Can she back me up? Well, she's just like, what are you doing? Oh, what, really? A Demogorgon? Oh, ten thereof. Well, yes, this,

[02:09:48] this man does technically own the land of the island that we, we were trying to retrieve this from and, and, and did help us retrieve the, the, uh, the, the, the horn, um, him and his, his, his allies, uh, looks over to Fintan as well. Um, and then she blushed. Finger gun. Yeah, she blushed. Um, and then, um, so, um, yes,

[02:10:19] what he says is true. And like, and Haruk is just like this big, stoic looking hobgoblin, kind of like looking at you guys from his throne, like brushing his chin. And it's just like, I see you're telling me an elf helped us. An elf helped us. What is this resistance you're talking about?

[02:10:51] My people and I oppose the, uh, what the hell is that? The undying court. Oppose the undying court. We find their necromancy unnatural. We seek to overthrow their regime and request only your humble support in our noble, uh, You don't have another persuasion test. Advantage? Advantage. Is that all true? Yes. That's a good one. 16? 16.

[02:11:24] He, he like, like you hear a couple, you see a couple of goblins like walk up to him and kind of like conferring his ear, like, like whisper in his ear and such. And then he's just like, kind of waves him off. And it's like, everyone in this room leave, except for your group, or except for you. And, and I guess your, your friend there. The, the other smooth skin. Um, what's up? Yeah, so the, the rest is like, as for, as for the horn,

[02:11:55] catch the law, you are granted, uh, you are granted funds to continue, uh, by, uh, by the agricultural, um, administration to begin, um, using that artifact as you see fit for our people. Go on. Uh, and they're like, oh, okay. Um, and they, they kind of like looks at you guys like, you know, what you're doing? Uh, well, this wasn't the plan, but, and, uh, she walks off with the rest of the, basically the whole room just clears out,

[02:12:24] except for like Haruk and his like elite guard that are right next to him. Uh, and then, uh, the room, the doors close after a few moments and then everything's quiet. It's like, so let me get this straight. You come here after helping one of my, one of my, uh, one of our, uh, one of our organizations retrieve an ancient artifact, thinking that it will give, that it will give you the boon to help us,

[02:12:53] to help us support you with a war, against the, the holy faith of Aranol itself. No one, but you, me, and this paladin need know that you support us. You simply have a common enemy. Yes, I have spent far too, I, we spent far too long fighting the undead.

[02:13:19] We did spend far longer fighting the constructs at our borders, but the undead are a threat. And then he just kind of smiles, his big, fanged, toothy grin. It's like, we will, we will aid you when we can. We will fund, we will, we'll send you supplies when we can. If it means putting a, putting a thumb down to those, to those,

[02:13:49] those knife-eared bastards of Valenar. On this we can agree, my king. It's very peculiar to have one of them bow to, er, this is me floating words, having one of, one of, one of your kind beseech me. Very well, we have an accord. Don't fuck this up.

[02:14:20] Immediately drops it. Yeah. Well, he's still a halt. Yeah, that's right. And yeah, so then suddenly the, the, the, the, you're escorted out of the, the, the halt out of his chamber, out of his stone room. Rather nicely in such a way. So. But you have to act like he told you no. Like, dang it. So, do we get to keep Faye or what? Do we get to keep Faye or what? Well, Faye has agreed to at least hear him out over dinner. Excellent. Mm-hmm. And yeah, he, she was, she is,

[02:14:49] she has been tempted to go abroad with you guys. To Zendrick and such. But the, the horn and like, the rest of Kesh-Valar are basically going to use the horn and, with the agricultural, um, uh, division of, of Rukhandral to basically help the city and stuff like with the, because that's basically what it does. It's, it helps create really bountiful cross by siphoning magic from, uh, the, the plain of, of, uh, Lamanya, which is the, basically the, the plain of, of primordial growth.

[02:15:19] Yeah, I don't want that on my island. That's a really bad idea. Well, your island's never gonna, it's never not gonna have weird vegetation on it. It's just the intensity is now, is going to maybe perhaps lessen because the, much better. Yeah. because the, the, the horn itself is actually particularly potent when it comes to like rifts or like weak points in the, in the dimensions. So, but, um, yeah. uh, Vintana, do you have anything to say to your friend after he said all that?

[02:15:49] And we made that, made that negotiation? As you're on the lift going down with Faye? I would appreciate a head it's up in the future. This does not concern you. I mean, I was in the room. It is an elf matter. You are not an elf. No. No. No, no, I'm not. Therefore, the matters that it includes.

[02:16:18] But if you offended him, we would have had to have teleported out of that room. Teleported out. Or died. Or attempted to kill him. You have to be ready. I believe my assistance thus far has more than compensated you for that risk. What would be the problem with me being able to ready in action to teleport us away? So while this is going on, yeah, and Faye's just like, so,

[02:16:47] I guess we're going to teleport back to your airship and such? Yes, we are. Okay. And she says, she talks to like her, her Kesha, like her Kesha mates and some of that. It's like, and hands the elders, the horn and such. And then you guys can go and do that. However, but you guys were gone. More monkeys attacked. Not quite. Copper got the shit kicked out. Copper, you're, you're working, you're, you're out there, like doing your, like repairing, picking up the pieces. Mm-hmm. And,

[02:17:16] are you salvageable or do I have to start from scratch? I don't know how badly you got blasted. He was, he was pretty badly charred. Mm-hmm. Uh, it won't take, like, it'll maybe take a couple of days, like a day or so to, maybe get him back to full, like, maybe, like buff out and like, get rid of some of the, the char and such. It's like, it's like when a, when a, when a barbecue gets like too badly charred, you gotta like de- Yeah. scrape it off and such. Mm-hmm. Mostly it's like all the inner words and stuff that have kind of scorched. Yeah. Uh, however, as you, um, uh, as you are,

[02:17:46] uh, having all that happen, um, you, you hear from behind you, like, kind of, uh, like, oh, like off, like, it sounds like something, somebody, a group has shown up, it's like, um, we have come to test our mettle and you outsiders will prove your, prove a worthy chance to do so. And, uh, you,

[02:18:15] you turn around and you see these three elves. Um, they, they are in like very, um, interesting garbs, like rather, rather billowy garbs and such. Um, and they've got like scimitars on their, on their backs and such. Um, and, uh, you, you look at them and it's like, you, there, you will, uh, where are the rest of you? When you look around, you're the only one in this fucking blend.

[02:18:44] The others have fucked off. They've all died. Oh yeah, they never told me that they were leaving. Yeah, they all teleported. Also, the other, the other, the interns have all just vanished. They've all gone. That's true, I don't even know you guys left. Presumably, they weren't there for that discussion? No, I was inside picking up the pieces of rock. Yeah, so you went inside and you, I actually, so you, you look around and you can't like, where did we go? This wouldn't be the first time. It's like, uh, yeah, they're just like, it's like, is it just you? It wasn't a minute ago,

[02:19:14] but yes. This is not a good time. Very well. Well, regardless, we have come to test our mettle. In ages past, we have come to talk to you about the extended warranty on Rob. Oh, great. In ages past, our ancestor, Ladaheers, of Bruna, had no equal in battle. We will honor her deeds this day. Flee,

[02:19:44] and all will know of your cowardice. Answer our challenge, and you may face an honorable defeat. And then like, the rest of it, like, there's like a moment of pause as the other two like, leap out from behind him with like, a flurry of swords. in dance! With their swords out. So they're challenged to a dance battle. Uh-huh. Yeah. All right. But it's a pants-off dance-off.

[02:20:17] So, because there's only one of you here, the center, the other two are like, they kind of like stepped back and like, the center one's like, will you, will you heed the call of our challenge? Or will you run like a coward? This is not a good time. I just got slapped, and I, I accidentally shot a friend. My, all my friends left. My, uh,

[02:20:47] robotic dog was blown up by a demon. And then you're asking me to just dance for you. Yes! Grease! Grease! Okay. Go, go, go, go, go, go, Fuck, man. Uh, they definitely, um, how much, what was the DC on that? 14. Yeah, they definitely, um, like, uh, they seem to almost like,

[02:21:18] uh, skate over the grease. Damn it. That's fine. Uh, it's like, nay, that is, that is, uh, so you, so you are going the coward's route, are you? I'm going the route that just gets me to be left alone right now. And that's the route where you guys are going to turn tail and leave as I pull up my revolver and cock the hammer and aim it at him. Get the fuck out of here! Roll the roll intimidation. Fine.

[02:21:46] The cop just pulled a gun on my B-boys. Yeah, I did, yeah. Intimidation, you said? Yeah. That's not going to go well. 17? 17? Yep. They start kind of backdancing away. It's like, you have not heard the end of this, copper! I didn't tell you what my name was. We were told from the

[02:22:16] airship captain. You will rule the day! All of the towns of Val... They're basically dancing running away. All the towns of Valinor will know of your cowardice, sir! This day! This day! They just banish into the jungle. I was like... I just shake my head, turn back to head back into the ruins and be like, elves, jeez. So you guys... It's about on that point that they teleport back. Mm-hmm.

[02:22:47] Yeah, you guys teleport to see copper walking away from a grease stain. With a gun. With a gun. What do you guys want? Welcome back. This is my voice now. All right. FYI, this is now the base of the living resistance. We're getting support from the goblins. Deal with it. Oh my god. So earlier, you deployed backup.

[02:23:16] You wanted him to shoot. He hit feet. And he fired. And he hit something. But it wasn't what you were aiming for. Yeah, that's what I guess you missed. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Might as well just start loading your snowballs now. Or what? Hmm? Are you going to click the dog off? Or what? Yeah, you got to click... Yeah, there's a clipper on the other side. Yeah, just on the other side of the door, there's a carabiner. Yeah. I still remember when my mom brought

[02:23:45] like those carabiners home. She bought... She was so fucking pleased with herself. She bought the carabiners that are like this fucking big. And she... Yeah, we got some carabiners for the dogs. And she like puts them down in the counter and is like... And she would not stop laughing for a solid hour. And me and my dad are like, what is your problem? I was like, it's just so funny. You can't stop. You know what? I would probably have done the same. Oh my God. And laughed just as much.

[02:24:14] Like my dad was like, you're so dumb. Did you keep them or did you return them? Yeah, they even brought them to the cottage. Oh, okay. I would have just used those. Are you going to tell them... Back to the game. Are you going to tell them what you just encountered or no? Okay. Well, yeah. That's news. In other news... They were elves, right? Yeah, they were elves. Some strange elves just came by

[02:24:42] and basically told me to dance or die. And I just told them to get the hell off the island. So they're probably going to come back. They're not too happy with me, but we're... Kirkless. He describes what the elves look like and stuff. They are... It's your brother. Followers of El-Tan John. Close, actually. Wow. They are the Valais Tern. The elves of Valinor venerate their ancient ancestors, striving to emulate

[02:25:11] their deeds in battle. These Tern Nadal are chosen by their patron and attempt to live up to their glory and legend. So it is a common practice for various elves from Valinor to basically strive for the deeds of their ancestors rather than what the Undyne Court do where basically they worship their ancestors like gods. A lot of the Valinor elves have this other kind of faith where it's more of like venerating their ancestors

[02:25:41] through deeds rather than direct worship. Why are the guys that are on my side so gay? What the fuck? Wait a minute. We're sort of on your side. I think he meant the elves. He's androgynous. And I have slept with more women than anyone else in this campaign. Fair.

[02:26:11] Meanwhile, you look over to your face and it's like really? That was... Well, okay. I will have slept with anyone. You had to work out a little bit harder on it. And she walks off. Admittedly, it is a low bar. It is a very low bar. So you guys heading back to the airship then?

[02:26:40] Yeah, I suppose so. We've looted and skinned the demon. We didn't go down the sea channel. Oh yeah. And we did not search the pit fiend. No, that's true. We'd only started skinning him and then... Well, I would have finished when you guys left. Unless... Yeah, like after I got all of Rod's parts I would have went down and finished with that. Yeah, when you guys get back to it, Sean, we'll figure out the monster parts and stuff like that. You guys have

[02:27:10] collected what you can from the demon. So what's down the sea passage? Let's find out. Hey, you. Water Breeder. Okay, he's a Water Breeder. Well, first off, yes, the pit fiend... We'll deal with the pit fiend's experience at the end of the game. Yeah. He didn't have anything else on him aside from that mace. You mean a flail? Yeah, so I keep thinking it's a... It's because it's a mace on the actual stats, but in the adventure it's a flail. Yes, it is a flail. Of like...

[02:27:41] It appears to have some kind of hellish nature to it. Hey, Copper. What do I identify this? Sure. I hold up this giant mace flail. As soon as he starts to examine it, Fintan smacks him in the face with it and starts attacking him. Why? Because it happened the last time, too. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Did I? No, because when I tried to identify it,

[02:28:11] it attacked. Right. All right, so you're identifying? Yes. Is that a fire and do it? One minute in a spell or ten minutes with no spell. It is a ritual. You got time. So just put it on the floor. You don't need to hold it for ten minutes. It's fine. Okay, because it's pretty heavy. Yeah. And I'm stronger than I was now that I got this fancy belt. Mm-hmm. Okay. What is it? A belt of gorilla strength? I believe so. Yeah. Yeah, because we're fighting gorillas everywhere. Of course it is.

[02:28:41] Oh my god. Okay, I'm going to put my holster on that belt because it's my Clint Eastwood belt. Okay. Because it's a western and the gorillas reference. There you go. Yeah, it's a flail of the Demogorgon. It has

[02:29:12] pellet or beak tied to it. I don't know what that means. Okay. I'm really glad you didn't get hit with that. You didn't use that at all. Well, yeah, you're supposed to use it for your ball. Yeah, why do you even have it? So, Chris, you may have done that wrong. Maybe. The whole combat. Probably. Why? Because anytime I hit him, he could have hit me back with hellish rebuke.

[02:29:42] I'm also actually just full disclosure, I bullshit. I just hope bring that at the flail. Oh, okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. Unless you want it to be a flail. Oh my god. Can you transfer an enchantment from one item to another? Can he transfer an enchantment from one item to another? I don't see why not. He's an artificer. He's an artificer, yeah.

[02:30:12] I don't know if he can do that. They've done it in Critical Role. They've done a lot of things in Critical Role. But Chris also listens to Critical Role so he might be okay with allowing for that. Yeah, sure. Can you move it to my shield? Oh god. Isn't your shield already magical? Yes, but it doesn't matter. You can stack enchantments on top of each other. I thought you were going to be upping the threat level when you guys get to Zendrick.

[02:30:42] Jump, jump, jump, Tarrasque, Tarrasque. Pretty much, yeah, that's what's happening. Because that'll actually mean that there's something that I can do as a reaction when I get hit. Yeah. I could sure try it. I'll say that. That's all I can ask for. Yeah, that's what you find on the corpse of the lesser demogorgon. Okay. If we're able to move enchantments around, I might need to look over

[02:31:11] everything we've gotten again. Okay, and then you're looking at the water channel. Yeah, it's a large channel, probably about the size of that demogorgon. The demogorgon definitely could fit to Lugia. But you need to know, you don't know how far it goes or how deep it goes. Going for a swim. Yeah. Well, roll swim. Oh, actually,

[02:31:41] before I go down there, can you make me a pebble? A light pebble? Yes. Sure. I don't have dark vision. Yeah, I don't either. So sure, I'll pick up a rock, boop, toss it to you. Tap it with your hammer. Yeah. All right, now I have a pebble. I will go for a swim. Okay. Yeah, roll strength or con to just to like, because of how long it's going to take you.

[02:32:13] I have a water movement speed now. Okay. It is no more difficult for me than walking. Okay. So he doesn't come back for a couple of hours. A couple of hours? Because, Actually, my swim speed is twice as fast as my walking speed. Yeah, it's still going to take you a couple That's fine. Because, yeah, after you're winding through these tunnels underwater, there's only really one main tunnel. There's a couple of dead ends, but because you're breathing underwater, you're fine.

[02:32:44] And you end up, after about what you presume is probably about four hours, you make it to the, you see light at the end of the tunnel, and you see that you are somewhere in among the reefs, just beyond the island. So. Okay. There are three marrow in front of you. Okay. They just look

[02:33:14] at you, like, as you're looking at them, like, blink, blink, blink, blink. It's like, yeah, they're like, we're expecting you to be coming out of that hole. Okay, well, um, yeah, I'm going to, uh, turn around and swim back, fast. Okay. Um, there are tritons thrown at you. Does the red fang, um, necklace, or earring thing work underwater?

[02:33:43] I'm assuming it does, it's magic, it's not? Yeah. I have to left at the end. Oh, that too, yeah. Well, I meant in regards to... It doesn't go at that kind of range. Yeah. I was traveling for four hours. Yeah. What is the range of them? The red fang thing? Yeah. Probably a couple of kilometers. Okay. I don't know, I made them up. I know, I'm basically saying because, like, could we contact him and ask him if he's still alive? Yeah, they're like sending stones, they're message stones, so yeah. Oh, okay, yeah. Then they got a pretty long... Oh, wait.

[02:34:13] Which one? Sending or message? Message. Or the ones that they use in friggin' Mighty Nein. You know, the one that, like, um, uh, uh, Jester's always like having to like do like stupid annoying... He's sending 25 words. Yeah, 25 words or less. Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, basically you got Twitter stones. Pretty sure they're super long. Yeah, you got Twitter, uh, Twitter, uh, um, Twitter devices.

[02:34:42] You can only DM tweets. Mm-hmm. You get an edge back. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, for 26,000. Uh, sending, yeah, third level. Uh, range unlimited. Okay, yeah. Send a short message of 25 words or less to a creature with which you are familiar. The creature hears a message in its mind, recognizes you as the sender if it knows you, and can answer in a manner, in a like manner immediately. Yeah, so the

[02:35:12] only difference is that you have to have one, because you have a red fang, uh, uh, earring as well, right? If I've actually modified it to work, yes, otherwise I would have asked him to do it. Yeah, you guys all have the basically the only difference between the sending, between that sending thing and these red things, so you need to have, it's a corresponding, um, yeah, earring, basically. Okay. So, yeah. So either way, we can stay in contact with him to the point that I don't need to go down there and check to see if he's still alive. No.

[02:35:42] Because it's been two hours. Four hours. Whatever. So, yeah, you guys suddenly get, like, what do you say as you're, you're swimming away as tridents and harpoons and stuff are being thrown, flying at you, and these things are clearly following you through the, through the tunnel. Okay. Uh, can they run me in the water? Yeah. They're Maros. They live in the water. What's your swim speed? Can they, though? What's, what's your, my swim speed is 60. Which is actually really fast.

[02:36:21] Like, Chris, their swim speed is 15. Yeah, yeah. I would expect, they're fucking mermaids. I, I, I know, I know. They're basically corrupted mermaids, so they should have a better, like, the equal speed to you, I'm going to be very pissed if they don't. I think it'll actually be probably 40 feet, but that's really just a guess. Fuck you,

[02:36:51] game. Fuck you. Is it 40? It's 40. So you're 20 feet. That's walking, they're, they're, they are charging you. Yeah, so they're, they're spending their, uh, their move action and they probably spending their attack action as a dash. Yeah. But you're doing the same, yeah. But I would be doing the same. And his, his 40 is the same as your 60. Unless any of them are rogues, in which case they can use their bonus action as a dash. No, they're just

[02:37:20] monsters, so they're just, yeah. Yeah. I tried to give you an out. Yeah. Do you want to fight if we're not? You guys are, you're just, you're just running, you're swimming. I'm running away. For four hours, you swim. I mean, you can make a fucking, yeah, roll a fucking constitution. Oh, shit. To endure this. Yeah, you might be quicker, but can you actually swim for longer periods of time than them? Also, there is a very quick, isn't there a

[02:37:50] quicker route to this, i.e. your teleport? I'm out. He's tapped out. You're all tapped out? Oh, yeah, back there. Fair. Oh, okay. 19 on my constitution. Yeah. Roll it again. You're going to make him roll until he fails? You're going to make him roll four times because it's for four hours. 14 on my constitution. Roll again.

[02:38:31] 16 on my constitution. Roll again. Also, if I know you're in combat, I can go in and meet you halfway to help. All right. I don't breathe. I just walk along the bottom. I mean, I probably only get like half an hour in by the time he gets there. So on the last one, one of them catches up to you. Fuck him up. So as you're like, and they're going to throw, they're going to attack

[02:39:00] with one of their tridents. Okay. Did they not have to roll to keep up for four hours? I'm just trying to even the odds a little. So the one cut up out of the three. Okay. And then,

[02:39:37] oh, it's been four hours. Nope. That only lasts for an hour. I cannot come and help you. Don't know how to swim? I would fucking drown. I don't suppose a 14 hits you. Not a chance. Yeah, so about half an hour, because I assume I've covered you walking. If I'm walking or swimming, it's what,

[02:40:07] half my speed? Yeah, swimming is half. So that's 15. Yeah, so you're about half an hour into your trek when you see him just gunning through the water. You don't actually have to swim. You can just walk along the bottom. For sure, just whatever's quicker. And yeah, you see him swimming for dear life, and there's a large serpentine-like humanoid behind him chucking tridents. Wait, could I do Tensor's floating disc and just hold

[02:40:37] onto it? And use it like those propulsion devices that scuba divers use? Yeah, one of those like, I forget what they're called. If you have your Tensor's floating surfboard, yeah, you could do that. Well, it doesn't say that it can't go over water. Unless it has power! We went into that way too easily. I saw it coming. No, Tensor's floating disc has no propulsion. It just floats and stays a certain distance

[02:41:07] from you. Oh, does it? Yeah, it's only that modified one that allows you. It's only the modified one that has power. No, I haven't fully done that yet. Okay, so I'll just walk as fast as I can underwater I guess. Either way. Yeah, you see him coming at you, like just barreling at you and behind him is another creature. Okay, how far away is the creature behind him? Like 20 feet away. Okay. Within range

[02:41:37] of harpoons and tridents. Okay. Does the I'm assuming the magic revolver works underwater? There's no gunpowder to get wet. Because it's basically just a railgun. Only one way to find it. Yeah. Okay. So I'll wait until Finn goes past me and then I'll aim at the revolver and also aim with the other left and just

[02:42:07] shoot them both simultaneously. Okay. Will your will save for your other left? I guess I would have put that away. Derp. Will save? You mean wisdom? Yeah, wisdom save. Yeah. That's not very good. I don't know why I have this thing. It's five. Okay. We'll get this guy going. Yellow one screwed me over last time. I'll try this one.

[02:42:36] It only worked once. It has to shoot me. Four. How bad is that? The prosthetic does not engage but will activate normally in the next combat round. Cool. He's like it's like I'm trying to get it stuck. It's a goddamn I gotta talk to that guy who installed it. Who was it installed it? You installed it at discount. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You knew what you were getting. Yeah. Yeah. I did. But yeah so you can still fire your

[02:43:05] magic gun. Yep. I'll take a shot at him. 19. 19 lit. Cool. Pretty sure it does. Oh yeah. Okay. And that's two of these.

[02:43:36] Fine. It's not a lot of damage. Well as the percussion comes off of the there's a flashing percussion from the gun. Yeah. This creature like was not expecting that. It's like oh fuck it. Runs. I'm fine with that. Swimming back. Like he starts rearing back after he gets shot. And he kind of just like trails some blue purple blood in the water. Okay. So. That was easy. I guess you should have taken a shot at him.

[02:44:05] They might have ran off real quick. Right. And you get back to the after about a half hour. After walking. You get back to the chamber. Yeah. Well he gets back in like 10 seconds. Yeah. You got back to the chamber in no time. But you have to wait 20 30 minutes before him show up. I might be able to help him. Okay. Then you do that. We smash cut back to that room. Yeah. Out of the

[02:44:35] water. Okay. Yeah. Alright. So it leads out to the reefs where there are marrow. Many marrow. Interesting. I saw three. I outran most of them. And I shot one. Let's collapse this for now. We'll deal with it later. Okay. I can't collapse this.

[02:45:07] I don't have explosives on me. Um. I don't think I do. No. In most games I usually have a stick or two of dynamite. I have earth tremors. There's no gunpowder never on those. You do. Who has that? Oh, I think it was Krim, I think, that gave the kittens the bag of that strange, that bag that it couldn't open, yes. Yeah. That would help a lot because that was, yeah. Damn it. Okay, we'll put

[02:45:36] the bag of golding inside your bag of holding. Yeah, that works, yeah. Yeah. Wait. And then suddenly the island ceases to exist and you guys are all on the astroplane. Mm-hmm. And you see a ship come by and I'll go buy the books for Star Jammer. Yep. Hey, well met friends. That's an easy way to win the scenario. I am Captain Twilo, the third. Damn it.

[02:46:06] Same assholes every time. No. Okay, so we'll deal with this later. This seems like a later problem. Yeah, you can always come back and clear this area. Yeah. Okay. Once I've got some insurgents to fight for me. Yeah. Once I have some smiting available. Yeah. If there's any like rubble and how big is the opening? It's big enough that it was able to accommodate a large-sized demon. I'm saying like we could push shit in

[02:46:36] the way. Try to cover it up. You probably like push that. I'd say you could probably with some strength test. You try and move the large slab of pedestal that the creature was on. The key was on and just kind of push it in there. Just a 20? Not natural. Adjusting. Okay. That's not very good. 10?

[02:47:07] Yeah. It takes about a half hour. It's just like slow process of inching, inches, inches, and then it finally slides in and just kind of get lodged in there. If I had another spell slot I would put grease in front of it. So much grease. It's the best move. Almost as good as sleep. Sleep. But yeah, so you guys leave the keep for now? Ben? Yeah. Yeah, after like

[02:47:37] putting some shit in the way, I guess. So there's still like demon statues around the corner, right? So there's Dakani statues, but it looks like the demon's influence had some of the roots and plant life kind of form these demonic visages. So you can burn those. Actually, with the fireball, I'll say a lot of that was burned away. So it's now just these hobgoblin, the ancient Dakani hobgoblin architecture. Let's just smash those. Okay. Because you hate hobgoblins.

[02:48:07] You know, those people that are funding your paramilitary organization. They don't need to know. This is not their island anymore. This belongs to the living resistance. Yeah. So I don't care. Okay. So that's what you can do. For smashing that stuff to get rubble to put it in the way. exactly. So another half hour. So it takes about an hour for you guys to finally fill that thing and also clear off some of these statues. And you get

[02:48:36] back outside and the white gorilla is just like standing there at attention as soon as you come in. Or as soon as you come out. I salute him and dismiss him. And he trundles back into the What's his name? I don't know. What's his name? What do you name him? Codsworth. Codsworth. Great. Codsworth the gorilla. Okay. And you guys are trekking back through the jungle to get to the airship? Can we not summon it to come and pick us up? No.

[02:49:06] Because the snapping plants prevent airships from getting close to the middle center of this Still? It's the whole reason we had I thought that was gone with the horn. No. No. That's still there. That's still there. It's no longer going to populate once you kill it. Basically you've got rid of spawn. Okay. Okay. Alright. Well I guess we walk the trek back to the airship. Okay. We'll survive it. I'm not

[02:49:36] really good at that. He's the one that's trailblazing so yeah. Take a die six. Nineteen. Nineteen? Okay. Yeah. You managed to travel, traverse, it takes about two hours to traverse through the jungle but you managed to get to the beach again. You find where the trails you were following and such. You realize as you're traveling through it looks like the trails are not completely

[02:50:06] closing but the trees and the plants are bending back to close off or at least to narrow the trail. It seems that you look up into the sky and the moon that is tied to La Mania is waning in the sky so it seems like this opening into the jungle was so clear when you guys first came in here because the

[02:50:35] moon was so high in the sky. It seemed to have an influence over it. Which has happened before you realize from manifest zones tend to be strongest when their connected moon is high in the sky. So anyway you get in there get back on the beach. Captain Twilo is berating his sister for leaving you guys and the others are climbing

[02:51:05] rope ladders to get back on the airship and such. But did we die? Oh you're back. We are. See I told you you talked later. Cut her some slack. She killed a lot of monkeys. Really? She's surprised. Shockingly yes. Not with a broom no. How? Don't ask.

[02:51:34] She's allowed to have some secrets man. She's capable. With her womanly wiles. She looks horrified. I don't want to know. Alright well are we done here? Yeah I think we are. Alright. Then suppose we will resolve back on the ship on the gilded sparrow and we will head back head continue heading south. Excellent. Adventure!

[02:52:04] Oh who is this lovely little ass? This is Faye. She's our new short stack. He's like elbowing you. Don't get the wrong idea. Rob is gone. She is not the replacement of Rob. Rob is gone? Yeah Rob blew up. He drops to his knees. No! My uncle deals! It's fine. I can rebuild him. We have the technology. You will have my full support. I appreciate

[02:52:33] that. I will clear an entire part of the storeroom for you to continue to start building it. I appreciate that very much. Love that book. Yeah me too. You know I think I still have some enchanted chain mail. What the dock? Yeah. I mean we gave him that like belt of giant strength and it just got burned up I guess in that fire bowl. It'll be fine. Would it?

[02:53:03] If you destroy a magic item that explosion is big. So no that magic item was not destroyed. Yes it wasn't. Okay fair enough. And they're also notoriously difficult to destroy. You have to pretty intentionally do it. It was demon fire. No it's fine. Suddenly there's your jungle problem. Giant atomic explosion. It's not quite that big but it's like a bundle of sticks of

[02:53:33] teeth. You're dead. You're vaporized in the last two as you were at the epicenter. Shit. But yeah you guys get back on the airship and you start after a few after they cut the lines and they start heading veering south towards beyond the Kraken Bay and Kraken you say? Yes. Full of the sea monster

[02:54:03] the Kraken. There are ancient Dakani legends that say that the ancient Dakani Empire released Krakens into the bay to fight off the giants to the south. I wonder if I will meet that one I used to know. His name was Phil. Phil McCracken. Phil McCracken. And yeah you guys as you guys pass Kraken Bay you're heading south across

[02:54:33] the Thunder Sea to Zendrick the ancient jungles of the lost giant empire. And that's what we're going to call it for tonight. I need to read up on the entirely different continent we're going to. The jungle the pulpit jungle adventure that I snagged for this adventure. Consumers concerns. How do you guys like it? Concerns? Yeah. Lots of concerns. It was very

[02:55:02] concerning. Did you die? You guys went up against a Baelic. And we fucked him up. Yeah. That was the only thing saving him most of that time. Also, I probably should have switched up his attacks. If he actually used his four attacks at once, that would have fucked up somebody's day. Yeah, it would have. But when I saw Fireball, everything looked like kindling.

[02:55:31] I get it. Fair, yeah. Yeah, when the only tool in your toolbox is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail. What was the difference between Firewall and Firewall, by the way? Firewall creates a ring of fire that goes up 60 feet in here, and a foot wide, and then slowly encloses. Oh, really? Yeah. Except he didn't live that long. He didn't live that long. If you or I cast it, it does not enclose. It doesn't shrink or anything. It's just special for him? Yeah.

[02:56:02] It has 5D8 versus 8D6 for a Fireball. So, Aaron. Um, yeah. Well, you guys were saying last session, like, the fights were pretty easy, and so I was like, all right, you motherfuckers, you want to, I'll just remove this statue that you were going to fight next to, in the next, in the last, in the, uh, the other end of the game and, uh, throw a fucking Demon Laurier. And I saw what the Demon, what the

[02:56:32] Demogorgon actually was, I was like, oh, so CR26, What's the challenge rating on a Pit Fiend? 20. 20. Ah. Okay. So they, they took on a 20. I didn't do shit. Like, yeah, you guys went up against a 20, a CR20, and I was using its, like, damage resistances and stuff like that on, like, against you guys and you guys were playing it smart and you actually managed to whittle them down with your, you guys are fucking powerhouses. Well,

[02:57:01] and ideal radiant damage. Which was a good, yeah, which was a good. And I was doing extra die of damage because he's Fiend. Yeah. Also, you never use actual spells on him, like, directly on him. You use Grease, which isn't really a magical spell against him. Because he has magical resistance. No, does he? But, against spells and magical effects. But, at no point did you guys really use that on him. Yeah, like, if I shot a chromatic orb at him, it doesn't matter what element I picked, he'd be resistant to it. And, like, you were using

[02:57:32] silver arrows, which is one of the things that bypasses his damage reductions. The only thing that didn't work was your heat metal because he's fire resistant. He's fire mute. So, yeah, that was interesting. Like, you guys actually, now that I know, like, how you guys can handle it, I was like, I'm gonna go throw some more fucking hard things. Also, I did have him We also got really lucky. Yeah. Because it happened, like, my damage is all radiant. Yeah. It just is.

[02:58:01] So, I mean, I lucked out that the thing that we fought is not immune or resistant to the damage type that I happen to do. Yeah, so we'll see what happens when you guys fight some other creature or, like, giants and stuff like that. As Chris goes through the book, picking only creatures that are immune to the aliens. I'm not gonna pull a Star Trek where, like, it's like, it won't work this week. Exactly. Was it resistant to piercing damage? It was resistant to piercing damage, stabbing, slashing damage, and all that,

[02:58:31] as long as it was, if it was non-magical or non-silver. The silver arrow, does that negate the piercing damage? Because my, my oath bow damage is specifically piercing. Oh, your oath bow would have worked anyway because it is magical. Yeah. So it was both magical and you were using silver arrows. So it negates the... But he's resistant to magical stuff or is that just spells? He's resistant to spells and magical effects. But non-magical weapons, or, but magical weapons and silvered weapons are,

[02:59:01] negate his resistances. Yeah. Yeah. So basically, the only way I would have been able to hurt him is by going in melee with my infused melee weapon. Yeah. Or, you know, firing your other left. No, that's mundane. Oh, that's true, yeah. It just shoots big bolts. Yeah. Maybe enchant those. Yeah. He's really silver. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or wrought iron.

[02:59:31] I did not waste any poison damage. Yeah, no, that was immune to poison. I figured it out. Poison is the most common immunity in D&D. Yeah. Fire is the second most common immunity in D&D. And now you've added a new fucking non-player character to your group. Of course. Thanks. I'm surprised we didn't like get all those goblins, not just one. They wouldn't have got none of the other. The Kestelar, like, you guys are lucky you got her. Yeah. You wouldn't have gotten the whole review because they are a very tight-knit

[03:00:00] group of archivists. Mm-hmm. So now we actually have somebody who's trained in history. Yeah. Me? No, the goblin, you jackass. You don't know anything. I am trained in history. It says it on his sheet that he knows things. But what's the end on this goblin? I actually don't think there's actually stats for her. I actually have to make those. Fair enough. In the original adventure, which was called

[03:00:28] Ban-Nan, she's the quest giver through this whole thing. You were saying it's like, oh, the king of the goblins is actually just three goblins and a trench coat. that's how they, how her and her goblins first meet you guys in one of the Elvenport cities. Is it a trench coat? They're in a trench coat. They're on each other in a trench coat. Three goblins disguised as an elf.

[03:00:57] You realize that she is like, there actually are stats in one of the books to play as three kobolds in a trench coat. Yes. Which is hilarious. That is awesome. We do keep telling Kevin that's what he is. Also, whenever you end up going to any of the Elven cities there, Copper, you will be known as a coward. That's fine. Because you refuse to dance off with the, with the,

[03:01:27] those elves. You should have done the robot! Yeah, I probably could have. Yes. The Lordeering Resistance is coming together. Yep. I will over... That was a very interesting, like, plot twist. Getting an elf seeking, seeking aid from the goblins to fuck over the Elven, the main Elven, uh, faith. That was like,

[03:01:56] that is just, like, honestly, the, the, like, um, But you can see why. Yeah, Hikar is, is like, that is so stupid, it just might work. I love this elf's scumption. If he dies, he dies. One less elf. One less guy? Yeah. Uh-huh. Uh, shorts, so, Faye, so her name is,

[03:02:27] Faye DeConn, um, F-E, comma, I, and then D-H-A-K-A-N. Okay. And she is a, uh, a goblin, uh, dirge singer. So she's basically like a, like a, a funerary bard. Um, that is also an archivist for, uh, for the, for the goblin people. Uh, short, so, or, as I'm going to write right down here,

[03:02:56] Aaron's short stack goblin waifu. Seems accurate. Goblin waifu librarian. So she's got big tits and big glasses. Mm-hmm. And a big stack of books. Yeah, glad you guys enjoyed it. And, um,

[03:03:25] we will see what adventures and horrors you guys find, both in, in the Thunder Sea and all the shores of Zendrick. All right. XP. Yes. Um. Delicious, delicious nuggets. I'm assuming it's just the XP from the Pit Fiend, right? Yeah. Did we do XP last set, last game? I don't think we did from the gorillas. I wrote down everything that we killed, although, yeah, the, the numbers weren't thrown out. Yeah, I never threw out, so what, what did you guys kill?

[03:03:55] Six marrow. Uh, hold on, So seven marrow. Why? Because you killed marrow. Oh. In this? No, no, he didn't kill it, he, he, he, he, just cleared, yeah. I didn't have to make Zoidberg noises as it flees. So how many, uh, marrow did you kill? Six marrow. Six marrow? So it's 450 each.

[03:04:25] That devil kept making noises after I cut its head off. I'm trying to say we don't get XP for him. And, I mean, you're gonna get a lot from him. Yeah, Try 25,000. Really? Yeah, for, uh, 25, zero, zero, zero? Yep. Okay. And then what else did you guys fight last? Two monkey swarms. Monkey swarms episodes are separate things.

[03:04:53] Those are in the adventure I threw at you guys. We murdered a lot of stuff. You guys do. Mm-hmm. okay, so the monkey swarm is... I might actually get like two levels, because I'm, like, from like three episodes ago, I should have been leveling up, but I haven't had a chance to. Uh, the monkey swarms are 50 XP each. Okay. Uh, and then Runucong, Kendrick Kin, uh,

[03:05:23] Runucong is 450. Well, we killed, hang on, there were three of them total. We killed one, which was her. Yeah, and then you killed another, well, and then he killed another one, and then, um, the other one became his bitch. Yeah, so two kills and a capture? Does that count? That counts as a, yeah. That counts as three total? That counts as a capture, yeah. So is that 450 times three? Yeah. Okay.

[03:05:52] I think that's it. Oh, and the zombies. The zombies. The, uh, the banana zombies. I recall fighting banana zombies. So there was a total of three monkey swarms, actually, because one of them fleed. Yeah. So it's 150 total for the monkey swarms. And, yeah, the banana zombies, yeah, 50 XP each.

[03:06:22] So three. So 2950. Call it 3000. And I'm not going to give you guys any, I'm not going to give you guys any, I'm not going to give you any experience for those, uh, battle dancers, because you just scared them off. That's fine. So it was 50 XP for the banana zombies? Yeah. And there were, how many of them? You will rule the day. Copper, we'll, Copper the Wolf War,

[03:06:52] you will rule the day. Probably, but it's fine. Also, I like the fact that you guys have now pissed off the fiends of the abyss. It was only a matter of time. Yeah. So what was our grand total, Dave? 28,000? You sure about that? Cause I got, oh wait, hang on. Um, from last week's episode, we got 3,350. Um, but,

[03:07:21] that's not including the 25,000 that we just got. So, 28,350 is how much we gained. Did you level? Twice. Nice. Oh man, so there'll be throwing the actual demon prince at you guys at some point. Yup. And his legion of, of marrow and,

[03:07:53] yeah, that takes me to 66, 955. God damn. Alright, well, uh, is there anything else to say before I turn off the recording? Uh, no. Cool. I got my ass kicked, but that's fine. Death to the undying court. Yeah. Uh, do we have time to actually level up? Oh yeah, it's gonna be a couple of days for you guys to travel across the Thunder, of the Thunder Sea, so yeah. You're, you're gonna be on a ship though, just FYI. Yeah. Okay. That's fine. Uh, and you actually, I think,

[03:08:23] are gonna be stopping off at Stormreach, the, the coastal city, the port city on, on Zendrick. So, before you trek out, so you guys can also like, see what's there, and get, like, provisions and stuff before you continue on your adventures, so. Uh, alright, well, we'll see you all next time, internet. Alright. Bye internet. Bye bye.